Q4ALL straight men and women who are single. Why are you not dating your attractive single friend of the opposite sex?

CliffPR · 2022-09-29T13:44:00+00:00

She decided we were "better as friends".

redkoicarp · 2022-09-29T13:38:05+00:00

Why are you not dating your attractive single friend of the opposite sex?

I don't have any. I mean, no friends who are attractive and single at the same time.

Other than that, some people might simply be totally incompatible. Shocking, I know.

2022-09-29T14:46:35+00:00

I have lots of platonic guy friends. We have no romantic chemistry, that’s basically it. They’re all great guys, but I’m not personally attracted to them, they’re not personally attracted to me, and our personality matches are those of buddies and not lovers. And most of them I’ve known for many, many years and we just feel more like siblings.

Like, I have one good single guy friend. Love him, good dude. We’d murder each other within a week or two if we dated, and I don’t even know if I’m kidding — our personalities are great as friends, but would clash hard in a romantic context. Which is probably largely why there was never any physical or romantic spark between us. From the start we were more like buds who got together to gripe, support each other and laugh about work, dating and life, but can only take so much of each other in a short time.

lewdakuma · 2022-09-29T13:34:22+00:00

i don't have any straight male friends.

KingWhoCared86 · 2022-09-29T13:45:55+00:00

Mostly because I don’t get any sense that the feelings are reciprocated. I have acted on a couple attractions in the past and they were promptly shut down. So if I develop an attraction I just tend to ignore it. I feel like if they were interested in me, they’d send some type of signal.

vindictaisracist123 · 2022-09-29T14:14:34+00:00

I don't have any friends that are women haha

anon018274031 · 2022-09-29T15:35:17+00:00

I have lots of straight male friends. Most are attractive to me.

But I don’t think they find me attractive + for bro code reasons it would ruin group dynamics/they are off limits

JDWhiz96 · 2022-09-29T13:50:53+00:00

Because I’m her boss.

Bekiala · 2022-09-29T16:09:00+00:00

I figured out awhile ago that I wouldn't be a good partner so have decided to remain single.

KayRay1994 · 2022-09-29T20:17:46+00:00

cause being attractive + getting along doesn’t inherently equate to dating/ wanting to date? lots of people flat out work better as friends, whether it be a lack of sexual chemistry, personal quirks that don’t work when you’re that intimate and sometimes feelings straight up just don’t develop

briiiana1122 · 2022-09-29T19:43:20+00:00

Attractive is 1 of many factors to consider in dating someone. Already being friends means you have insight into the other parts of that person and you don’t need to try and date them to know if you’d be incomparable. So it’s to not ruin a friendship over a relationship that wouldn’t work out anyway.

baresquad · 2022-09-29T15:34:02+00:00

Because they’re my friends and I don’t want to date or fuck my friends.

SladeWilsonXL9 · 2022-09-29T13:53:20+00:00

Male here with several attractive female friends. For the ones who are single let me explain:

Is not as attractive as she thinks she is. Good friend but not attractive at all.
Tried to be more than friends but rejected me. It happens.
Although she is attractive I am not into her like that. Would definitely hook up with her though.

rubymood · 2022-09-29T15:16:33+00:00

our personalities mesh as friends, not as partners. i couldn’t imagine having to navigate a romantic relationship with him.

i love him platonically and that love includes wanting to see him happy with another woman one day.

Wilfred-of-Ivanhoe · 2022-09-29T14:03:47+00:00

If she could get over her ex we would. We had been dating for 2 months then she went home for 2 months and he popped up to her during that time, now she wants to get back with him. It sucks; I’ve never felt such a strong connection before. She is very confused and we still have a lot of physical contact and hang out in each other’s rooms… I guess I should move on but I feel can get her back because of this.

risdeveau · 2022-09-29T14:14:15+00:00

Because I am not attractive enough, they have some personality aspect I don’t like, or for some reason I just don’t find them as attractive as the rest of the world does

And it’s often weird in certain friend circles, and less so in others

cel-shaded · 2022-09-29T14:32:42+00:00

I have some female friends, some of them attractive, none of them single.

HobbitShaker88 · 2022-09-29T18:44:07+00:00

Im married now but when I was in this situation when I was younger it was always 1 of 3 things.

Fear of ruining a friendship. This only happened to me once and if I had dated the guy and it didnt work out I would lose him as a friend and likely our circle of friends. This circle was my main social interaction at the time and was not worth it to me.
While objectively they were attractive, I didnt feel attracted to them. Chemistry is not always just physical attractiveness.
This was the most common reason. While maybe there was a small amount of attraction I felt, or a potential for it...there were glaring obvious incompatibilities between us or personality/character deal breakers for me (examples: demeaning personality- not bad enough to not be friends but too much for dating, promiscuous history almost always paired with a more impulsive personality, too religious, too dominant or opinionated for my taste, adamantly against marriage, Jewish and not willing to date nonJews, etc)

ReferenceImpossible2 · 2022-09-29T13:37:42+00:00

I mean if I found her attractive enough, why WOULDN’T I try to date her?

All of my platonic female friends are kinda unattractive 😕 Although they’re also wayyyy more interesting than women I tend to date. But that’s an entirely separate tangent

anonymous-platypus1 · 2022-09-29T13:53:44+00:00

My attractive male friends are my friends. I guess if something developed naturally I wouldn’t be opposed to it. But I’m not going to go out of my way to make some romance happen if it might just ruin our friendship. Also, I see how my friends date, I hear how they talk about their partners/flings. Some of them are just not people I’d consider romantically based on those things .

Hungry-Nebula · 2022-09-29T17:15:15+00:00

The same reason I don't ride my horse to work.

Stop_Maximum · 2022-09-29T17:26:41+00:00

I don’t date friends they’re off limit

NegotiationNo717 · 2022-09-29T19:59:39+00:00

I don’t want a relationship
Absolutely zero desire to fuck up our friend group’s dynamic. Plenty of men to sleep with out there without messing up an amazing friend group I’ve had for years.

DiamondLilyD · 2022-09-29T18:20:53+00:00

I've had bad experiences dating men and no longer wish to take that risk.

Plus I hate promiscuity and a lot of men have slept with at least 4-5 women.

FlyV89 · 2022-09-29T18:49:51+00:00

I did. Long time ago, we had a FWB thing that turned into a short term relationship for like almost a year. She's also found out she was bisexual with me so we had a lot of fun.

I'm single now and she's in an open relationship, so It would be ok if we dated I think, but I refuse to put my dick where another dudes is getting it. She offered even to break up with the guy and go back to a relationship with me but I mean, that would be like cucking a dude or something, not cool.

If their relationship dies, I want it to be for natural reassons you know.

Quantum_Supremacist · 2022-09-29T14:59:53+00:00

The only female friend I have is already an ex.

Oli_love90 · 2022-09-29T15:21:44+00:00

All my male friends are gay or taken. Even so I’ve never really been interested in them.

HeartCatchHana · 2022-09-29T17:12:32+00:00

We don't have that kind of chemistry.

mean_bean_machine · 2022-09-29T18:28:53+00:00

She big gay.

debatelord_1 · 2022-09-29T19:18:44+00:00

I don't think she's attracted to me. Also she is a bit older and goes on dates with guys older than her.

FifthHorizon · 2022-09-29T19:20:00+00:00

I have an astounding ability to make women feel absolutely nothing.

2022-09-30T01:32:33+00:00

i’m bisexual. i’m single. i don’t want to date every single one of my friends, because i’m not romantically attracted to all of them. even if they’re all aesthetically attractive, i still won’t be.

platonic friendship + being aesthetically pleasing doesn’t automatically equal romantic or sexual attraction, you may just like them better as friends

Freezingfield08 · 2022-09-29T14:35:56+00:00

I don't have any female friends.

mitigated-disaster · 2022-09-29T16:02:59+00:00

She dated another one of our friends who is objectively a terrible human being.

I like women with standards.

DerekMorganBAU · 2022-09-29T16:12:31+00:00

All of mine are married/taken unfortunately though I ain’t hurtin the bachelors life is where it’s at

Dolphin_Moon · 2022-09-29T16:50:26+00:00

Me and him have insane sexual tension. But he views me as a sister I think. Also if were to ever hookup it would ruin our friendship. And I would not wanna lose him as a friend

supershotmd · 2022-09-29T19:17:39+00:00

Male. I've tried maybe 4-5 times. It always ends the friendship.

I don't know why PPD can't understand a basic fact: you need to be able to get sex before you can get an LTR. "Why are you so focused on sex?" I'm not. "Why don't men want an LTR?" They do. But sex comes first and then there's a mutual decision. Many men don't even get to the sex part. And many of the men who do have many other options which makes them picky.

rivetcitymayor · 2022-09-29T16:22:00+00:00

Is this question foreal

2022-09-29T16:55:54+00:00

You have an attractive friend of the opposite sex, who is also straight.

Assertion failed.

RealAmericanWeasel · 2022-09-29T17:35:43+00:00

I don’t have any female friends. That is why.

IceMysterious4265 · 2022-09-29T17:57:49+00:00

This is such a bonehead question. It's probably obvious that those friends either don't like them for romantic relations.

Harvest895 · 2022-09-29T19:36:39+00:00

This is more of that incel shit. Cause it brings complications. That’s why. Or she’s not interested. It happens. Or other reasons women are more complicated than men. You would know that if you actual talk to women. We need to vet people before they can post. You can’t post unless you licked a woman’s pussy. Same thing for the femcels. You can’t post shit unless you touched a dick. No exceptions.

Hoopy223 · 2022-09-29T14:14:21+00:00

All my woman friends/coworkers aren’t attractive lol. If they were I would have tried to date them by now.

Women will hook up with a guy friend but they are a bit weird about it. They act like it is a huge deal.

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learn2earn89 · 2022-09-29T16:35:51+00:00

I don’t have any attractive, single friends of the opposite sex. Do I know an attractive, single person? Yes. He’s an acquaintance and I don’t know if he’s seeing anyone, very private person.

2022-09-29T16:48:20+00:00

I don’t have female friends. That would lead to a mess so I kinda avoid that all together. Never had those work out without them trynna to inevitably get me into some drama

Motherofvampires · 2022-09-29T19:56:17+00:00

I don't have any single male friends

The9thElement · 2022-09-29T15:04:19+00:00

Because I’m not allowed to have male frienss

wtknight · 2022-09-29T14:15:07+00:00

The attractive opposite sex friends that I had in the past were not romantically interested in me. A couple of the unattractive friends were, though.

howdoiw0rkthisthing · 2022-09-29T14:47:03+00:00

Not single but years ago I went on a date with a childhood friend and he basically acted like a complete ass the entire time. I don’t know if it was a shtick or what but it just reinforced the image I had in my head of the kid picking on me in the 5th grade, rather than a man I’d like to spend time with.

I was chill about it, we just didn’t go on another date. And I guess his behavior wasn’t just in my head either, because maybe a year or two later he reached out and apologized for how he’d acted.

tinasnow-poty · 2022-09-29T15:31:36+00:00

They’re my friend. One of them, we’re pretty incompatible dating wise, he doesn’t drink (kind of Muslim) and has some conservative ideas I don’t agree with but we’re great friends. Another one he’s young and immature, would be a terrible boyfriend. Another one I can only handle in small doses.

Lovers691 · 2022-09-29T15:44:38+00:00

assuming I have female friends assuming if I did they will be attractive and what to date me.

All jokes aside I have one female friend(at least I consider her a friend) she’s attractive to me nothing special but above average and I think she dresses cute. I would pursue her if I thought she was interested but aside from that I don’t want to risk ruining what we have and the shame of rejection.

BruddaMSK · 2022-09-29T15:56:03+00:00

She doesn't like me back

SteezMeOut · 2022-09-29T16:02:25+00:00

I'm fine with our level of companionship, trying to elevate to intimacy could lead to me losing the companionship.

M3taBuster · 2022-09-29T16:51:30+00:00

I don't have any attractive single friends of the opposite sex. I have attractive friends who are taken, and unattractive friends who are single. And all of them are incompatible with me for dating anyway, for one reason or another.

But if I had an attractive single friend of the opposite sex who was also compatible with me, then I absolutely would date her. The only reason I could think of that I might not is if I was simply too nervous to make a move or something like that. But I'd have no legitimate reason not to date her.

Patrickstarho · 2022-09-29T17:02:41+00:00

I don’t have any friends

2022-09-29T17:05:52+00:00

She lives far away from, we drifted apart, and I am pretty sure she isn't attracted to me

Neptune-Jr · 2022-09-29T17:19:12+00:00

She doesn't want to date I guess

SolidusMonkey · 2022-09-29T17:52:37+00:00

Because all my female friends are as gay as purple and pink unicorns singing Madonna

FancyComfortable4678 · 2022-09-29T17:56:53+00:00

Nine times out of the (including mine) it’s because either she already said no or he hasn’t asked yet.

The_Entertainer217 · 2022-09-29T18:07:11+00:00

When you say “dating” do you mean being in a relationship with?

Hefty-Wolverine3675 · 2022-09-29T18:43:13+00:00

I have only dude friends so it is an irrelevant question

2022-09-29T18:48:19+00:00

Because she rejected me when I tried to make a move

GlumManufacturer1557 · 2022-09-29T19:37:42+00:00

Because he doesn't like me lol

Khidorahian · 2022-09-29T19:50:43+00:00

they don't exist lol

2022-09-29T19:50:58+00:00

In this hypothetical scenario I’m either rejected or I just don’t want to take the risk.

GlamSunCrybabyMoon · 2022-09-29T19:55:00+00:00

I’m happier with them as my friend. Also there’s women out there that are better for them than myself. They all have girlfriends who they have more common interests with.

TangoDown03 · 2022-09-29T20:13:04+00:00

i dont have this type of friendship anymore, besides, the last person i had that kind of friendship with, is now in a serious relationship. apart from that, nowadays she is another person, a person that I don't want to have a serious relationship, personality and lifestyle very different from my life.

KikiYuyu · 2022-09-29T21:03:44+00:00

Because I don't have feelings for them.

planetmarsupial · 2022-09-29T21:10:13+00:00

I don’t want to lose them as a friend if things turn romantic and then we break up :(

RocinanteCoffee · 2022-09-29T21:37:47+00:00

Usually I don't date friends of the opposite sex (or same sex) when they are coworkers or I have been their boss in the past in a professional environment (personal rule I have) or they have some quality that makes them undateable to me (they are involved with someone already, they are not strongly supportive of a woman's right to choose, they don't want to wear condoms in the initial part of a casual situation or even the beginning of a serious one) et cetera. Or they like to keep their home warmer than 73 F (dealbreaker).

Also I'm the kind of person who requires a "spark" and a very visceral chemistry. Though some of my friendships have developed into romance or make-out sessions or things of that nature, in general I don't feel that spark with my friends.

jayval90 · 2022-09-29T23:19:44+00:00

She told me that she's "unavailable to you," and on the other end she's going away from a traditional religion that I would like to stick to. Also, she's clearly not over her ex yet.

It's mutual, but also not mutual.

hungrychick404 · 2022-09-29T23:53:29+00:00

I don’t have friends who are attracted to women that I find attractive, or we don’t have chemistry that way.

2022-09-30T00:06:20+00:00

Tried it, she was in a relationship. Tried to move things forward when that relationship ended and she ghosted me. Now I don't see much of that friend group any more and I don't really care to.

The experienced helped me take on a much more transactional mindset. If I'm not getting anything out of a relationship, why the fuck should I keep it going? From now on, my play is to move quickly on women I may be interested in. Let her accept or reject me then. Fuck the friends shit. I've got enough friends.

The_Madman1 · 2022-09-30T01:33:17+00:00

Glad I don't have any female friends. I would possibly try to date them and she will say best as friends and we don't have this physical connection blah blah as I am a 5/10. That all comes over time.

Next comes my 10/10 who takes her and she is all over him. Women do date friends as they already know you. If she said no to you then it simply means you are not good enough for her.

New_Relative_8709 · 2022-09-30T02:35:25+00:00

Bcs I already made out/had relationships with all of my attractive single female friends 🫠 and unfortunately only 2 actually went into relationship status, and nome broke the 11 month period

Dating a friend almost always ends breaking the friend group, so I don’t recommend getting emotional fellings involved

wishing_to_globetrot · 2022-09-30T03:50:54+00:00

BC I don't feel attracted towards the single friends of the opposite sex at this point. A lot have been divorced and / or have kids. The former is not really an issue but kids for me are an issue because I don't want to feel resentment towards her kid nor feel resentment towards her either. Also not with the current climate not sure if she would like / love me for me and not for either the.money or title, etc.

itm4l2000 · 2022-09-30T05:10:01+00:00

As a male, the cost of commitment in time and resources is not worth it anymore.

I'd much rather a close knit circle of loyal male friends that I can see anytime than exchange that with a committed relationship with a woman and sitting on a sofa bored out of my brains.

Been there done that, don't recommend.

ErrorMacrotheII · 2022-09-30T08:54:04+00:00

I did. We were incopatible and didn't form deep emotions. Still best friends and I'm dating her former roomie lol

kurogomatora · 2022-09-30T09:58:48+00:00

I don't go into friendships because I might get to date that person so I don't feel romantic attraction to them also I'm pan.

mcove97 · 2022-09-30T11:02:07+00:00

I don't have any attractive single friends cause I've already dated or hooked up with all my attractive single friends lol

travellingryan · 2022-09-30T11:59:11+00:00

Well I’m in a relationship. But have attractive female friends who I would have dated. But the girls in my social group don’t think I’m an enough for a relationship. Well jokes on them because my girlfriend begs to differ.

ThePinkBaron365 · 2022-09-30T18:30:47+00:00

We work together, so it would be extra complicated

ObjectiveCow59 · 2022-09-30T19:32:13+00:00

They’re all married

Mistwalk101 · 2022-09-30T22:22:20+00:00

I was single. Best friend got a divorce. Few months later we were out and, in the middle of a conversation, sort of mutually blurted out we've always found eachother attractive though never acted on it. Married 12 years this Halloween. So - why aren't people dating their single friends? Good question. The sex is still amazing, but it is 100% the friendship that continue to pull us through the hard times.

SwimmingTheme3736 · 2022-10-01T07:56:51+00:00

I’m not single now but have been in the past and it’s because you can not force chemistry

vindictaisracist123 · 2022-10-01T19:27:46+00:00

He doesn’t want to date me.

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