I was going to flair this as a CMV but I’m actually just interested in everyone’s thoughts. I’ve glanced through previous discussions on the topic and it seems like folks around here are mostly in favor of this, so I don’t think anyone would try to CMV.

I hear men complaining about being on the hook for child support when they didn’t want or consent to having a kid. I think it’s a real issue. This seems to mostly occur in ONS/hookup situations, so there isn’t an established relationship between the two parents.

What are the arguments against men being able to opt out of child support and being a part of the kid’s life early on in pregnancy?

I understand logistically this would be difficult to codify and enforce. First, there would probably need to be proof the kid is his before the decision can be made, which is not easy so early on in pregnancy.

But I’m wondering, even if we put aside the logistics and pretend it were completely feasible, what are the arguments against this? Obviously this can only be an option in places where abortion is easily accessible, otherwise I think men are just as on the hook as women for an unplanned child. But when abortion is a legal and accessible option for women, and a man does not want a child, shouldn’t it be an option for the man to have a window of time to say he will not be a part of the kid’s life OR, alternatively, that he IS willing to contribute (financially or otherwise)? Then the woman can use that information to help in her decision about whether to terminate the pregnancy. He would not be able to go back on his choice later on. The man would also have to revoke all ties to the kid (eg, couldn’t ask to still be part of the kid’s life if not paying). I can see ways this could get messy.

Should men and women just be thinking more about and discussing the very real repercussions of sex BEFORE they hook up (unlikely)? Are the arguments against financial abortion primarily logistical?

Also, is there another answer to this issue?

Edited to add - even though this wasn’t framed as a CMV, a lot of the discussion here has made me change my mind in that now I don’t think this is clearly as fair a solution as I thought before. And it could definitely have far more negative consequences.