Men are happier in marriage and women are happier single

BornAgainSpecial · 2022-12-07T09:24:21+00:00

Married people - men and women are happier overall. Here's a multi varied longitudinal study across multiple countries US, UK, Germany etc that states married people are happier in general. Not just men.

https://ifstudies.org/blog/does-getting-married-really-make-you-happier#:~:text=Indeed%2C%20married%20people%20are%20happier,and%2015%25%20for%20people%20who

SmilesLikeMardiGras · 2022-12-07T12:52:47+00:00

well, wanting to be married and being happy in the marriage are two separate things

HazyMemory7 · 2022-12-07T08:24:33+00:00

This shit has already been debunked.

The problem? That finding is the result of a grievous misunderstanding on Dolan’s part of how the American Time Use Survey works. The people conducting the survey didn’t ask married people how happy they were, shoo their spouses out of the room, and then ask again. Dolan had misinterpreted one of the categories in the survey, “spouse absent,” which refers to married people whose partner is no longer living in their household, as meaning the spouse stepped out of the room.

.

Dolan confirmed to me by email, “We did indeed misinterpret the variable. Some surveys do code whether people are present for the interview but in this instance it refers to present in the household. I have contacted the Guardian who have amended the piece and my editor so that we can make the requisite changes to the book.

This dumbass clown of a psychologist presented a false interpretation of the data to spread a narrative and sell his book.

bigskymind · 2022-12-07T08:07:57+00:00

I think both men and women do better with companionship. Who wants to go through life alone? It's great to have a partner to rely on, who you know is there for you. I think men and women in bad relationships would certainly be happier without them, but overall I think relationships and marriage are mutually beneficial. Being lonely sucks.

Gari_305 · 2022-12-07T12:27:37+00:00

how men are happier in marriage and how women are happy when they are single.

Single Never been married are happier as seen here

In fact, new research shows that single and never-married men lead healthy, fulfilling lives full of friends, sensitivity, and resilience — something that flies in the face of research that holds up marriage and family as the best and healthiest life destination for men. According to recent scientific studies, men who never get married may gain strength from solitude. They have more extensive social networks and a deeper connection to work. They’re also differently vulnerable to some of life’s travails.

Also in the report

What single men gain in friends, they lose in money, studies show. Men who stay unmarried make anywhere from 10 to 40 percent less than married men. There’s evidence that fathers make up to 21 percent more than men without children, though studies also suggest men with wives and kids work longer hours and put up with more workplace bullshit than single men.

DaoMark · 2022-12-07T06:58:18+00:00

This study is flawed apparently and bunch of BS, I watched an aba and preach video where they reference this common talking point, and cited a study to the contrary of this - I read through the entire thing, so it’s not just me regurgitating stuff ( I’ll link the video and then you can assess the citations on your own )

Apparently, women are not actually happier single, they are just not as fucked as men tend to be emotionally when single since they have stronger support net works.

So basically, women do better than men do single, but they are both still drowning ( to steal a metaphor ).

Outcomes for unmarried people, or people just without a partner tend to be worse

Now, what I am about to say is anecdotal, but the only person I’ve met in my entire life who I think is happier alone is this dude I am confident has ASPD

Edit:

https://youtu.be/3USs6HZBO4E

Edit two:

One of the people they argued against responded to their response, it’s the person they mention in the title, so if you want to watch both sides you can do that

Her video is like an hour tho and I listened to about 40 minutes of it while lifting these heavy ass boxes for work, I don’t think she really refutes anything but feel free to form a different opinion

A bit prejudiced on my end, but she is unironically one of those gender, queer theorist type of people, so you might get annoyed by the rhetoric ( patriarchy this, feminist that, capitalism bad, gender role this, etc… )

She seems pretty smart tho I guess

https://youtu.be/Vf1LKkq6JMs

gate18 · 2022-12-07T10:53:02+00:00

I'm a man, I've read articles like these and that women live longer. I hate them all and agree with them

I think it has to do with social treatment and expectations. The way we treat women and the way they are expected to behave makes them more self-reliant in a healthy way. The opposite is for men.

Even here there are questions about whether men are ok with being the house husband, whether they are ok with not being the breadwinner, and how the opposite of Alpha is the worse thing in the world.

Take a kid and tell him not to worry about housework, he's going to find a wife, he should take risks because women like that, if he finds himself with a girlfriend she should protect her (fuck knows what those girls do when out and about alone!), you should take a bullet for her, not because she's better than you, not because she's weak, but because you are a man.

Now, you that this kid has grown into and you can't seem to find a woman to provide for, to care for...

Women on the other hand are taught to take care of their hygiene, to be good at school, do not to fear to express any emotions, and understand that you will have to be smart enough to not bruise men's egos. Clean your room, and make it look pretty, it's better to be in a clean environment than a filthy one. Work hard because "this is a man's world"

Now you are that kid grown into a woman and either you can't find a man or the man you are sharing your space with doesn't care about any of the values you've lived by. Yes, you've been told to look for an Alpha, that what he lacks in calmness he makes up in whatever else, but over the course of your life, everything becomes boring, but one thing is constant, he doesn't care about keeping the living space clean and you have to do it.

Of course, women get the short end.

And it has nothing to do with biology.

CombinationUsed7938 · 2022-12-07T15:26:40+00:00

I'm tired of those dumbshits constantly stating how women are supposedly so happy when single and men are the ones who want to settle, be faithful and form a family.

It's a plague. You see that pseudo-scientific bullshit on TV shows, Internet, everywhere.

It's simply NOT TRUE. Both are happier in companionship, while none wants to feel imprisoned. So, both are happier in healthy relationships.

What that propaganda is trying to do is bad for men as they will have a tougher time getting happy with women who believe they are so "liberated" they cannot be "stuck" in a relationship, but it is even much worse for women, for making them believe they will be happy alone, with no company, no family, nobody to love.

I don't know why the fuck that is a trend now.

It's sick. Just don't spread that crap, people.

launcelot02 · 2022-12-07T18:29:43+00:00

I think the psychologist’s credentials be revoked and start over in high school.

carlenvirgo · 2022-12-07T10:38:43+00:00

There’s been a study of 10,000 widowers and 10,000 widows, all over the age of 65. They were studied for a 5 year period after the spouse died. 90% of the men died within a 5 year period of their wife dying. Only 5% of the women died after their spouse died. The study suggested that men are unable to emotionally handle the loss of a spouse and women were able to handle it far better. A man ultimately needs a woman more than a woman needs a man. The men died of self care lack. A man is far more likely to get remarried after a divorce than a woman as well. For younger men this was not the case. Younger women want marriage more than younger men under the age of 35.

Due-Lie-8710 · 2022-12-07T07:44:34+00:00

men arent happier in marriages, happier men are in marriages, the association is that men are happier in marriage means that during the relationships they werent happy until they got married , there is no actual study that proves that being married as a man actually makes you happy or more successful , it just shows that men in marriages are usually successful

uglysaladisugly · 2022-12-07T09:04:01+00:00

https://www.health.harvard.edu/mens-health/marriage-and-mens-health

Men in long term relationship and marriage tend to be in better health, have better carrier and better social life and hobbies because their wives take care of them and the "domestic" parts of their life, allowing them to focus on the rest.

Women, while having a lot more expectation about marriage, altogether seems to not benefit from it so much.

Now that they are more and more educated and financially independent, they don't even benefit from the it in the economical point of view. Quite the opposite if they don't have kids.

"Although it's hard to be sure, marriage seems to deserve at least part of the credit. Some have argued that self-selection would skew the results if healthy men are more likely to marry than men with health problems. But research shows the reverse is true: unhealthy men actually marry earlier, are less likely to divorce, and are more likely to remarry following divorce or bereavement than healthy men."

"People living with unmarried partners tend to fare better than those living alone, but men living with their wives have the best health of all."

"One reason that widowers fare so poorly is that nutrition and other health habits deteriorate when men are on their own; even a wife's hospitalization is hazardous to her husband's health. "

"In contrast, married men are more likely to get regular medical care and to benefit from a higher standard of living. But while senior citizens who live with a spouse get better preventive care than those who live alone, elders who live with an adult child do not get better care."

https://archive-yaleglobal.yale.edu/content/should-women-stay-single

"A number of studies report that single women tend to be healthier and less depressed, living longer than married women. Single women generally experience fewer stresses and compromises than married women."

"A recent study in the United States found that mothers with a husband or live-in male partner sleep less and do more housework than single mothers. Why mothers do more housework when there’s a man in the household was not determined. Another study reported that husbands create about seven hours of extra housework a week for their wives."

SoumarRu · 2022-12-07T12:50:57+00:00

Men who go to Ikea Saturday morning with their wives to buy towels are not happy at all.

SoIlikeMangos · 2022-12-07T07:04:54+00:00

Women that are done with relationships are happier, not the lonely ones.

Willow-girl · 2022-12-07T14:13:43+00:00

On the flipside, it's always the women that want to be married and push men towards marriage

Thus the time-honored tradition of women getting down on one knee and proposing to men.

Oh, wait ...

Peacesquad · 2022-12-07T14:40:12+00:00

False

alphasupremacy5555 · 2022-12-07T18:59:46+00:00

This is BS and there is absolutely no truth to this whatsoever. There's tons of miserable men who are married trapped in sexless marriages. A lot of men lose when it comes to marriage and end up getting divorce raped. Marriage is more beneficial for women because of what they get if it doesn't work out. That clown psychologist doesn't know what the f he talking about. He's saying women shouldn't get married but men should. That only makes sense if he's talking about homosexual men but there are way way more straight and heterosexual men than they are bisexual men so for the majority of men to get married that means more women need to get married.

Women were happier back before feminism and the sexual revolution bc they derived fulfillment and happiness from having families, from being married mothers. The Most High created Eve specifically for the purpose of being Adam's help me and women have ovaries, and wombs/uteruses for a reason. Ofc that isn't the case for all women but it is for most. Especially the younger the better. Nowadays that's have far more female depression and women on antidepressants than ever they have successful careers but they're lonely especially women in their mid to late 30s and 40s. Marriage doesn't work out for a lot of men because they pick the worst women who they convinced themselves they knew who they were marrying when they absolutely didn't really have a clue and the same for women. A whole lot of women have a bad habit of not genuinely being able to pick the best man who is right for them.

Puzzleheaded_Bet7294 · 2022-12-07T14:15:47+00:00

There are so many men (mostly from the older generation) that have women do basically everything from them, from cooking, cleaning, to quite literally wiping their ass. I definitely can believe what this psychologist said.

But now it seems like the trend is reversed; most young couples consistent of a simp guy that does over and beyond for the girl

MrQuiteLimited9 · 2022-12-07T09:12:13+00:00

Not sure specifically about marriage, but pretty much every study shows women are happier “single” than men.

I put single in quotations because the average woman is not single in the same way your average guy is.

A 6/10 woman who is “single” is so by choice. She still has numerous dudes in her phone who will come over to her place at a moments notice. And several (not all) of these dudes would probably like to commit to her.

A 6/10 man who is single is involuntary single. Nobody is giving him any attention. When this man goes home alone, he is ALONE. There are no other option besides strapping up his boots and trying again the next day. And the next day. And the next day…. In reality, he might cross paths with a girl who will give him a chance once every 2-3 years.

abaxeron · 2022-12-07T11:13:13+00:00

Do you think there is truth to this

There most definitely is truth to this. But, neither men nor women are a homogeneous monolith. Family-oriented men are happier in marriage. Non-family-oriented women are happier single. Since selection into marriage does not operate at random, it might easily be that due to suboptimal dating market, men are more likely than women to have their life and their desired life outcomes misaligned, dragging the numbers apart without actual underlying mechanism being obvious.

Finally, "advantages of marriage" have been scientifically challenged somewhat in the last 10 years or so. I'm too lazy to dig up the sources.

Murkwilect · 2022-12-07T13:34:15+00:00

Men are not happier in marriage, those studies count divorced men as "single" and are therefore invalid.

GarPaxarebitches · 2022-12-07T07:49:16+00:00

Idk if you've looked around but young men are much happier with no romance, but still having sex than women.

The idea that men are miserable without relationships is overblown. If guys could have the casual sex women can have, many of us would be happy single for extended periods of time.

Now single + no sex, women handle better.

DrinkItInMan11 · 2022-12-07T06:52:05+00:00

I still maintain that this study is a load of garbage. The things you see in real life are the exact opposite, women begging men for commitment and men being miserable once they get married.

Remember that every statistic you see that gets put out is to shape your world view of whatever the government wants you to believe. All studies are fabricated.

KirthWGersen · 2022-12-07T09:00:49+00:00

Am I being cynical or could it be this?

When women are married they have someone other than themselves to blame their unhappiness on, so they can safely claim unhappiness without taking personal responsibility.

When women are not married, they have no-one but themselves to blame for their unhappiness, so they claim to be happy.

🤣

AoiLune · 2022-12-07T07:28:42+00:00

Women are only happy to be single while they are ALSO young, attractive, and capable of getting nearly anything they want on charm alone. It's no surprise that people are happy when they are treated like royalty, and few people have ever had better lives than attractive young women. However, as that royal treatment fades with old age, women inevitably find that being single in your 30's, 40's, and so on isn't nearly as fun as being a beautiful and single 20 year old woman. Any smart woman pushes for marriage with a worthy man because she recognizes that her clock is ticking, especially if she wants to have children one day as most women do, and that if she wastes too much of her time and worth whoring herself about then she's only setting herself up for failure once she reaches her mid 30's. From age 40 to 80, that length of time is far too long to be alone, and if a woman hasn't established a family by 35 then she's basically staring down the barrel of 40 years of utter misery.

lostacoshermanos · 2022-12-07T06:34:46+00:00

That’s contrary to popular belief. Migtow guys say women love marriage and relationships and men only want sex.

SmarmyPapsmears · 2022-12-07T13:11:14+00:00

Women are happier single is the lie women tell themselves when none of the men in her life want to commit to her.

Rough_Collections · 2022-12-07T13:19:03+00:00

Yes women below the age of 40 are happier single than married. What these studies don't address is the flip at around 45.

Let say for the first 25 years a women is under the care of thier parents or the government (Going to college) so you can't really count those because they are not financially responsible for themselves and thier is no real obligation to work

25-45 is 20 years where they are responsible for themselves but can usually get men to spend resources on them readily for thier time. So they can allocate thier resources to personal enjoyment.

At 45 most women will tell you the male attention dries up and stops so they are on thier own. With the average female lifespan in the West moving up into the 90s range that is 40-45 years where you are alone and potentially unhappy.

Men don't have that problem until thier 60s. I know a bunch of older guys who just marry a pretty girl knowing she just wants him for his money. He knows he has her for 15 to 20 years then he dies and she will move on to someone else..

This is what is wrong with these studies they see women as monolithic. Not separating the different age groups.

Men & women use to know this was a trade. She gives him her best years so he & the family they built would be there during her worst years.

UneastAji · 2022-12-07T10:13:28+00:00

Men who are happier are more in relationships because emotional stability and positive attitude is more attractive to women.

Women who are emotionally immature are capable to get relationships anyway and burn themselves out of it frequently, giving them the impression being alone makes them happier. Usually they get back to dating later when they're more mature and they're happy and stable.

Story as old as times.

OkProfessional9405 · 2022-12-07T06:49:38+00:00

If you look at the data the big skewing group is women age 45-65. They are happier single.

Building relationship skills takes time and self reflection. If you don't build them as a man you don't get women and eventually go MGTOW.

Women develop relationship skills later because in their 20s they are in such high demand and get free (quite frankly unearned with respect to skills, personality, etc attention).

This why you see the 'I know my worth' crowd start to crop up around 30. They remember the attention the used to get and price themselves at that higher price, the market demonstrates otherwise. So they are stuck either dealing with men they mistakenly feel are lower than them or just getting a cat and going solo.

The ones who do adapt and develop relationship skills do fine. So I just see these women as the female version of MGTOW.

Laytheblameonluck · 2022-12-07T12:24:21+00:00

When it comes to sex, men are happier single and women are happier when their man is no longer classified as single.

Gilmoregirlin · 2022-12-07T17:37:58+00:00

As someone who has been married and single I will address this from my perspective. First, I think women without children that are married (that was me) are generally happier than women with children that are married. Not because kids don't make you happy but because they do add stress and most women do not get equal help from the co parent even when she is the primary or sole breadwinner. Second, my experience is that marriage adds to a man's life and takes from a woman. Even if the guy is amazing, women do a lot of emotional labor that men don't realize. Things like making sure he goes to the doctor, or the dentist, scheduling and managing appointments, sending out holiday cards, buying gifts for mutual friends and family, finding lost items, putting in the effort to work out problems (counseling etc), managing his emotions because he shares them with no one but you, generally not true for men doing these things for women. I think this is mostly because men were not raised to do this things, feel uncomfortable doing them, and feel the wife is better suited. This is my first Christmas not married in a long time and let me tell you how much less stressful it is.

Third, I do think the right marriage can make a woman happier. The problem is in this day and age that is harder and harder to find. My reasoning for that is because while women have advanced in the sense that they can support themselves, have careers and be primary breadwinners, most men have not. Some have the idea of sure you can work but you still have to do all the same things a wife and Mother would do as if you were not working at all, and I am not going to do more than I think a husband or Father should do. Or you have men who are jealous and not supportive of a woman's career and are constantly competing with her, or have very low emotional intelligence and poor communication skills. The bar is much higher for me these days.

AndyBrown65 · 2022-12-07T21:53:58+00:00

There’s a post saying it has been debunked and it has been.

People are better off with a significant other. However some people just hate men so will twist anything to fit their own agenda

Square-Pie9671 · 2022-12-07T23:06:27+00:00

this is a lie

Shoddy-Donut-9339 · 2022-12-08T05:06:14+00:00

I suspect BS. I bet that women are also happier in marriage.

AdComprehensive6588 · 2022-12-08T05:07:12+00:00

It’s utter BS that contradicts human existence

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Apprehensive_Cut_146 · 2022-12-07T12:27:48+00:00

Abd it takes so much to get this?

Koipisces · 2022-12-07T12:55:00+00:00

I think a lot of people marry under time pressure, and can often mistakenly marry someone they are not compatible with. If you are with someone who isn’t exactly compatible, you will fight and argue all the time. I remember being in relationships that made me feel more miserable/anxious than happy. I’ve been way happier single. This is why I think it’s more important to find someone who is on the same wave length.

Women often push for marriage because they want kids. Also, society tells us that it is much better to have children within a marriage. So it’s only logical that women push for it. A man also has to watch the clock. Actually, quality of sperm also gets bad after 35, but society has always been more pressuring on women. Men therefore get the illusion that they have no race against the clock. Also, women are often still shamed for not being married yet. The women who don’t care about other people’s opinion or having biological children whatever would probably be happy, especially if dealt with toxic relationships before. Also women can provide for themselves so they can function independently. When they marry, the man might bring in more money, but if he is not also taking on the household chores, the woman has to do everything like a maid. In that regard, men might be happier in marriage because the woman is taking care of everything in the house like his mom. This is not all households, and also not how it should be. Divide tasks equally, I’d say. In the same regard, if a man can completely take care of himself, his house, cook, etc., he’s probably as happy as the independent single woman. Same person different gender.

revente · 2022-12-07T13:23:12+00:00

Maybe, but only statistically.

KomputerKlub · 2022-12-07T13:33:20+00:00

Guys with disabilities but without the ability to support a woman tend to be in the unmarried group by default.

Men in marriages do better because they were already healthy and wealthy, thus women pre-select them as long-term partners.

So the act of marrying will not improve a man's live.

2022-12-07T17:03:05+00:00

A woman being "single" doesn't mean what it means for men

jpla86 · 2022-12-07T18:51:30+00:00

Single women are happier because they usually rely on their friends for emotional support that the majority of men don't have with their friends. And if she is single, 9 times out of 10 she is single by choice and can easily find a man to date or just for sex if she chooses to. Single women often still have plenty of male friends that would be eager to keep them company.

Being a single man is a much more lonelier road. It's one of the reasons why depression and suicide are rising with lonely men.

draiki13 · 2022-12-07T22:00:49+00:00

First of all, some other expert says that married men are healthier than unmarried. While married women are not healthier than unmarried. He goes on to say they have an equal chance of developing metabolic dysfunction. This does not mean marrying is bad for women’s health.

The happiness part is also a very bad take. There’s just too many important variables that they did not address. There’s always a base value of people unhappy in their life. Some married women have simply chosen a bad partner that just increases that base value. Since this expert’s claim is so vague, my conclusion would be that some women pick a bad partner who makes them unhappy. While marriage does not decrease woman’s average happiness in general.

Waratah888 · 2022-12-07T23:10:54+00:00

BS for males, except for this unicorn exceptional marriages.

victoriabowen8 · 2022-12-08T00:00:53+00:00

My personal observations is that this is true but I just wanted to mention a video I watched of a divorce lawyer and she was saying that almost every single time a man initiated a divorce he had another woman already (ie: they almost always monkey branched from woman to woman and would stay in their marriage until they had the new woman lined up which means they are also cheaters - gross!) and it was the opposite for women, they would stay single for quite awhile, if not forever so take from that what you will. Again, just my personal observations but I have noticed this happens when it comes to relationships in general too, not just marriages.

venusianfireoncrack · 2022-12-08T00:19:46+00:00

if the relationship is good, the marriage is worth it and enjoyable for both

Snekky3 · 2022-12-08T00:47:37+00:00

Women are told that marriage should be their goal and pursue that. Men are told that marriage is an end to freedom. But once they’re married, it often turns out that men gain a new mom and women gain a burden.

zerocovid-_- · 2022-12-08T00:56:58+00:00

The “psychologist” who coined that garbage in his book was forced to walk it back. The fact that people continue to peddle this nonsense is indicative of how stupid we are willing to be as long as it makes us feel vindicated.

Acceptable-Change204 · 2022-12-08T01:55:26+00:00

I’ve had a lot of years married (16) and even more single afterwards (30) . My happiest years were as a single parent and now as a single grandparent… Not even close….

Ok_Razzmatazz_1751 · 2022-12-08T02:11:32+00:00

it's always the women that want to be married and push men towards marriage.

This is not always true. Not from my experience anyways.
Most guys I dated prior to my now husband where talking about marriage within weeks of meeting me.

Alot of men find marriage or at least the idea of marriage the desired goal. Especially if they are raised in a community that encourages marriage. Seeing families Prosper better when they are together

glitch83 · 2022-12-08T02:50:46+00:00

If this is true then my wife must be REAALLLLKY UNHAPPY

karspearhollow · 2022-12-08T04:05:39+00:00

I believe that men are healthier in bad relationships than single. And I believe that women are healthier when single than when in bad relationships.

I think both ultimately desire companionship. But women have an easier time leaving it when it's not working for them.

Think_History_5682 · 2022-12-08T05:14:20+00:00

I'm saying it's BS based on my observations

Women are happy single bc they get sex

Men are happy married bc they get sex

Take sex out of those equsions and you will have unhappy people.

BornAgainSpecial · 2022-12-08T22:57:13+00:00

Women aren't even alive single unless they have big daddy government as their surrogate husband.

The women you know are probably married for the money. They are happy to have the money but not to be married. The marriage is the price of surviving, in the style to which they are accustomed.

Additional_Speech164 · 2022-12-16T01:52:58+00:00

Hell yes. I was married and miserable. I enjoy living alone in a nice place without someone messing up my bathroom and I can have sex with who I want as a single woman . All benefit and almost no unpleasantness.

IamHere-4U · 2023-01-06T13:08:10+00:00

This argument floats around a lot, but I think what people leave out, for both men and women, is that toxic, unhealthy or abusive relationships/marriages are far, far worse than being single in terms of long term health outcomes, like premature death, health complications, and early onset dementia. Harvard has conducted a 75-year study on this and it was one of the interesting bits of data they found.

My point is, these discussions are always weighed in terms of if marriage is good or bad, and not if an individual marriage is healthy for either of the individuals involved. The latter discussion is far more relevant and interesting, in my honest opinion.

Dry-Ad2372 · 2023-01-22T06:36:25+00:00

It's true women are happier alone , because they are putting themselves first. Men on the other hand , get the benefits of a marriage,maid, sex on demand. And yes they still get heaps of sex on the side cause most men cheat. So they are getting all their needs met. Women on the other hand don't get ANY of their needs met at all. They get neglected. That's why women are happily single. They can get sex when they want, can be independent and only need to clean and cook after themselves.

Title	Men are happier in marriage and women are happier single
Author	macalph21
Upvotes	61
Comments	339
Date	December 7, 2022 6:33 AM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/zeu6q7/men_are_happier_in_marriage_and_women_are_happier/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/men-are-happier-in-marriage-and-women-are-happier.1142612 https://theredarchive.com/post/1142612

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