Why do men feel like no one care about how they feel?

ArgueLater · 2023-03-01T04:10:24+00:00

Here's a bunch of women explaining it, investigating it, or experiencing it first hand by presenting themselves as men.

Viral tweet from FtM trans discovering the "empathy gap" -- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nNME0cloyyM
Documentary on a woman going under-cover as a (self-made) man. She went on to kill herself -- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ip7kP_dd6LU
Honey Badger explaining male disposability -- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vp8tToFv-bA
"Red Pill" Documentary on a feminist trying to expose patriarchy, only to find human beings -- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q7MkSpJk5tM
Woman talking about starting to date women, and learning men weren't lying about everything -- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y4E8qEDi_xg

Tall_mike · 2023-03-01T02:46:38+00:00

It’s not that we feel like no one cares, it’s that no one actually cares. How often do men’s health issues get talked about on the news? Why are there no men’s shelters for abuse? Who’s trying to lower men’s suicide rates? Why aren’t men allowed custody of their children? Why don’t false rape allegations require evidence before an arrest? Who the fuck is gonna answer the call when I ask for help. Seriously imagine you were a guy, didn’t have any friends, who do you call if you’re assaulted by a woman? The cops? You will get arrested, and thrown in jail whil your abuser lives in your house. No one gives a shit about changing that, because if you do, you’re shamed and called a mysogynist.

AbnormalConstruct · 2023-03-01T02:47:50+00:00

Because put simply, nobody does. If your question is, why is that the case, it’s largely* societal influence. Men are taught that their emotions are meaningless to others, and women are taught than an emotional man is unappealing and weak.

chupasway · 2023-03-01T03:11:52+00:00

Woman 1 - "You should show your feelings more"

Woman 2 - "How dare you make me do emotional labor for you"

griggori · 2023-03-01T03:15:14+00:00

Men know that individual women might care. They know individual men might care.

They know society, as a whole, doesn’t care.

WA0SIR · 2023-03-01T03:11:47+00:00

Because no one cares, and those who say they do, really don’t. Society uses men then tosses them to the side like garbage. The suicide rates show this.

bottleblank · 2023-03-01T03:07:22+00:00

I've just spent an hour responding to a thread about "whose fault it is" that men feel lonely, with in-depth, heartfelt replies detailing the things people did to me to destroy my self-esteem, for decades of my life. Relentless, terrible circumstances, from every angle, actual abuse, abuse which I couldn't escape no matter where I was. Home? Abusive parents. School? Abusive bullies, apathetic and complicit teachers. Work? Didn't have a job, until well into adulthood, was too busy feeling like hell because of the way people treated me, thinking I really was a worthless sack of shit, that it was all my fault, that I deserved it, that I was a terrible person somehow.

Do you know what the responses I got said?

If you actually bothered to try and stop blaming it on everyone else, you might not be so lonely.

So you tell me, why do you think men believe nobody cares? Because I'd call that a pretty concrete example of what we experience day in, day out, online and off. Ridicule, bullying, and abuse, and told "suck it up, buttercup, should've tried harder" when we voice our struggles.

SkulLegacy · 2023-03-01T03:17:16+00:00

Have you ever checked on your hammer or your power tools to see how they’re doing? Most likely answer is no because the only time you’d do that is when you need that tool for use. No one gives a fuck how a man feels until he’s needed. Example to go to war, for protection, or providing.

Back in the old days feminists were all about equal rights which was awesome. Now, feminism is beyond equal rights to the point that men are demonized for being masculine, (toxic masculinity). Man tries to explain something and he’s (mansplaining). Naturally to them all men are oppressive and are told that they’re the problem just for being men. I saw a video where male students were forced to apologize to the the females for being boys..

Women are empowered and can openly say whatever they want and be praised for it. But if a man raises concerns for men’s mental health then you get an angry mob of feminists going to those venues demonstrating until these venues are shut down. A woman can destroy a man’s life with a single false allegation, police arrives on scene and he’s automatically in cuffs without any evidence against him. A good, honest, hard working man that provides for his family 95% of the time gets raped in the court system during a divorce just because she got bored of him despite all the evidence of no wrong doing on his part, he still pays alimony, child support and would be lucky if she doesn’t weaponize their kids against him. He opens up about his depression and hardship and he’s automatically a (pussy).

The statistics shows that the number of suicides by men greatly outnumber those of women. I believe a lot of this has to do with the fact that there’s not as many safe spaces for men to open up without being canceled, or judged. And if there were such spaces for men to talk about their feelings then they’re labeled (Incels) that hate women.

Now I’m not saying that all women are this way because I’m grateful for my wife who happen to be a wonderful person.

So you ask why men feel like no one cares how they feel, here’s the little of my personal explanation as a man.

Chris Rock- Only women, children and dogs are loved unconditionally. A man is only loved on the condition that he provides.

Where_The_Dead_Live · 2023-03-01T03:11:27+00:00

Every time I have told my partner how I feel she has used it against me later. So why bother?

BlackBeard30 · 2023-03-01T02:51:44+00:00

Because no one cares about how we feel.

Corrupttothethrones · 2023-03-01T03:35:32+00:00

Express feelings...suck it up princess, is generally my observations and experience. When a couple separates, ive seen everyone just assume its the man's fault and nobody contacts him to console. When a man cries after being over worked and over stressed, needs to stop being a baby. I honestly think it hurts more to express feelings when its clear that people just don't care.

fuckthi__hit · 2023-03-01T03:22:59+00:00

When most people say they care, all they have to offer is "Thoughts and Prayers." That is nothing of substance and brings no meaningful value or change to the lives of men. It's simply a verbal statement for virtu signalling and invalidating what men are experiance.

I do understand you as a woman seems to focus on the "feeling" aspect of things. It's not a feeling. It's a fact. Also, "feeling" cared means nothing without real meaningful action or outcomes. Because feeilings don't put food on your table. Feelings do not put a roof over your head. You can't pay child support, alimoney, or your medical bills with feelings. You can't use feelings to fund your retirement.

Problems men face cannot be fixed with feelings. And no one is interested in taking real action unless "women are affecred" and usually when they do it will be fore the benifit of woman. Or the real reasons for the problems will be ignored and instead they would say its mens fault.

In addition to above, have you ever seen any advice given to men on how to be better versions of themself. That advice has always been ways men can be useful to women and society. You will never see men receiving advice that benefits the man himself. Society only cares to use the men.

Therefore, the best advice one can give to today's young men is, out of 8 billion people in the world, only he himself will truly care about his wellbeing. Others will only pretend. Therefore, take care of yout self, treat yourself, and build yourself, for your own sake like no one else does. Becsuse no one else does. For all practical purposes, you are on your own.

Mattreddit760 · 2023-03-01T02:59:27+00:00

Because we will never be loved unconditionally. The amount that people, or society cares as a whole is dependent upon our value to said society/ person.

infinitofluxo · 2023-03-01T03:47:14+00:00

I've noticed that in dating apps, the interactions with women go downhill if the subject leads to anything that makes me open up about my experiences and views.

I guess it turns them off. They start making impolite comments and judge me.

The other day, a woman was complaining about Tinder and guys with world travelling pictures, she thought they were snobs, then I ended up saying that most people care about looks in apps cause it is hard to value other things you can't see there. She told me I had a problem with my self esteem and that we were very different.

Asleep-Ad-7459 · 2023-03-01T04:02:17+00:00

Thank you for your post. I really appreciate it.

Can only speak to my experience being married for twelve years and around her family. I certainly contributed my part to my divorce. But it was a lot of things that made me feel like I didn't matter.

Sometimes it was as literal as my ex-wife asking me how my day was, then asking me the same question two hours later. Other things like being blamed for something the kids did when they were toddlers. She would rather accuse me of lying and start an argument than believe me. Until the kids confessed. I never got an apology. When I was a stay at home dad with babies, my ex-wife thought I could clean everything and cook dinner during the day. I couldn't keep up to her liking. When I told her that taking care of the babies was hard and I couldn't do it all, she didn't want to hear it. She told me "if I hired you to do this job, I would have fired you by now." My self-esteem fell through the floor. It stayed there until she divorced me.

Her father, my ex-father-in-law, told me that "happy wife, happy life" was the key. Funny because his wife, my ex-mother-in-law, was never satisfied with anything he did and was quick to point out how stupid or wrong he was. When he got his vasectomy, his wife and daughters ridiculed him for being in pain and for not doing chores the day after. "Could you imagine him giving birth?! What a crybaby." So when I got mine, I fought through the pain and pulled weeds the next day against doctor's orders. Because that's what men do, or we catch a ration of shit for being pussies.

Other married men gave me the same "happy wife, happy life" advice like it was gospel. Their wives never seemed happy either. Looking back, these men were telling me "the husband's concerns and fears and problems do not matter. All that matters is that your wife is happy. If she's happy, she won't have anything to complain about. So suck it up, never let her know you're unhappy, and do whatever she says." Unfortunately, I found out later that no one can make a person happy. People are responsible for their own happiness...if they want to be miserable all the time, they will be.

And to be fair, many men don't care or can't sympathize with what their friends are going through either. We don't do emotional support very well or at all. We are geared towards problem solving. When I was married, if a friend had told me that his wife was abusive, I'd ask him if he needed a place to stay or if he wanted to go play golf or if he needed a recommendation on a divorce attorney. I wouldn't sympathize or just listen.

Going to group therapy has helped me change that. It was an epiphany being able to open up with other guys about things. But most guys won't go to therapy because that is an admission of something being wrong with themselves. They will ignore the check engine light until the car dies, so to speak.

For what it's worth, I thought my ex-wife was just atypical. She is a perfectionist and I certainly am not. Then I read this article.

https://thefederalistpapers.org/us/woman-realizes-that-shes-been-accidentally-abusing-her-husband-this-whole-time

This really resonates with me. I can list hundreds of "hamburger meat" moments with my ex. Hopefully this and other posts give you some insight on why men feel the way they do.

harleypig · 2023-03-01T07:14:39+00:00

We hear about problems framed this way about the trouble women face and "something must be done" ... see if you can spot the lack of caring

1 in 5 women is homeless
25% of suicides are women
7% of journalists murdered are women
Jack and Jill get drunk and have sex. Jack is a rapist and Jill is a victim.
Jill fellates blackout drunk Jack, accuses Jack of raping her, Jack goes to jail
minor "has sex" with an adult woman, she gets pregnant, he owes child support
girl accuses boy of raping her, he goes to jail and loses out on promising football carreer, she later tells him "sorry I lied" and nothing happens to her

The reasons are there if you care to look.

LeanderGrant · 2023-03-01T04:13:31+00:00

I know you are asking specifically about men not feeling heard in relationships, but please understand that is a very small priority item for us. I'm sure you have good intentions, but to many of us, the answer is so self-evident that the question itself is demoralizing. I know that is not your goal, but it's similar to asking a tortured prisoner of war if his bed linens are comfortable. I don't know if you believe this, but many of us are truly suffering, and not feeling heard in a relationship is a small thing compared to the whole.

I'd encourage you to look first at the bigger issues that men are facing, so you can understand why many of us are writhing in pain. I know this is not your question, but it is more helpful to meet us where our needs truly are.

spike4379 · 2023-03-01T03:13:07+00:00

'Real men don't talk about their feelings'

'Real men'

'I want a real man'

We hear this so many times, that we just shut the fuck up, bottle it up, and then get treated like monsters when we finally explode, or we kill ourselves in the most violent ways because we want it to end that badly.

We open up and get condescended to, we open up and fear that it will be used against us.

Then during arguments it feels like women remember everything you've talked about being vulnerable over, and they sling an insult with it as the spearhead.

Its just, what do you do in that situation? You tell me youve never heard a woman say she wants a real man, and I'll show you a liar. Its said all the time, and nobody fails to offer up their opinion and its almost always a massively tall, ripped or well toned, strong silent type.

The kind that doesn't talk much so the emotional space in a relationship can be taken up by her, and he just goes along with it because he's a real man.

I just get so frustrated. And honestly I've met two women, in my whole life that are genuinely fantastic, open minded and totally for men opening up and they love it. I just wish that was the standard I could see in other women but I just don't. I hate generalizing because its fucking terrible but 99% of my experiences has echoed exactly that, and its awful.

Men will feel like they're unheard in relationships because what we say isn't taken seriously, or just, 'in one ear and out the other', and that can lead to thinking your partner is just pretending to want to hear your input and that's a recipe for a quick death of the relationship.

Its great that you're asking because it shows you want to understand things. there's not enough of that

Edit: I didn't mean to ramble guys im sorry, I'm a bit frustrated at life myself.

SuspiciousGrievances · 2023-03-01T03:38:08+00:00

Women who aren't my Mother, my therapist or doctors have all tended to indicate extreme disinterest in any weaknesses or problems I may have or have had in life. Most like good looking guys or problem free guys.

Cats155 · 2023-03-01T05:01:55+00:00

Not my quotes, but it sums it up pretty well in my opinion

"men today are subject to a series of contradictory instructions: They are told to take charge, to be responsible, to show initiative; but at the same time warned that their version of masculinity might be exhibiting privilege, or even be toxic" Left me wondering if there's place for dating. I think destiny hit the nail on the head saying "well what are these men supposed to do, they are looking for help and they receive nothing but demonization from one side obviously they are going to go to another side for help" (paraphrasing hard btw). I mean this honestly, what the fuck do these feminists want then? Seriously are these teenage boys supposed to go on feminist forums and learn about fucking predatory and pathetic they are.”

"Male Privilege" 'be like: *78% of suicides are men *68% of homeless are men *93% of prison inmates are men *80% of murder victims are men *98% of military casualties are men *92% of workplace fatalities are men Sources: CDC, NCH, Bureau of Prisons, Psychology Today, CSO

current feminism is overtly hostile to men, and nobody ever calls them on it. That's why I hate it when a feminist tells me "Feminism is for men, too!" Yeah. which fuckin' version? It would be fair to say that right now 3rd Wave Feminism is like Christianity, post-schism. Put 10 different feminists in a room and in under a minute you'll start hearing terms like RadFem, Intersectional Feminism, Trans-Feminism, Men's Lib, TERF, feminist socialism, TradCon, EcoFeminism, and I'm sure many more. No two are going to "identify" alike. However there is always one unifying principle that, like Jesus, ties all the different ideologies together: PATRIARCHY! Which takes us to the reason feminism cannot be about equality: Feminist Rule #0- Blame men for it. Because of "Rule #0" feminists look at men like they are a gestalt organism, talk about men like they are lab rats, and talk to them like they're children. And, honestly, what is the last thing feminism did for men that was purely altruistic? If you call yourself a feminist, can you name anything positive about masculinity?

The majority of homeless people are men. The majority of suicide deaths are men. Young men graduate college less than young women. Young women are out-earning young men. Single women are more likely to own a home than single men. There are gross discrepancies in the amount of government aid available to men and that available to women. Yet I've never seen women marching to end male homelessness. I've never heard a radio ad about raising money for prostate cancer. I've never seen a commercial asking men if maybe it's time to give college a second chance. Literally, nobody cares if you live or die. Nobody cares if you're educated or fulfilled. Nobody cares about you. And you will be openly mocked, belittled, and humiliated if you don't fit into the predefined social mold that exists for men. Homeless? Fuck off. Small dick? Haha. Suicidal? Ew. Why bother trying to be part of society that at best ignores you, and at worst is openly antagonistic towards you? I've seen so many articles like this: "Why are young men dropping out? It must be because educated women scare them." They always come to the same, obtuse, and illogical conclusions. "Men are just stupid/lazy/useless/onerous in some way, I guess. Women are better anyways." Young men are dropping out because they are treated by society like actual, literal disposable objects. That's the real reason.

White men need to stop being repressed and start honestly expressing their emotions!

We're deeply frustrated by a society that constantly seems to be emasculating and undermining us while delegitimising any complaints we have because of "privileges" that do nothing to reduce the frustration of living in an isolating, sedentary and self-destructive culture increasingly devoid of age-old sources of happiness like community, religion, national identity and family

2023-03-01T02:52:04+00:00

For me it’s when I call out an obvious flaw in a plan but am ignored which the Causes the plan to crumble because of lack of reservation or no clear plan after the first step I’ve just grown numb to it and don’t say anything instead watch it blow up in there faces if it’s anything it might be pride that causes this in relationships

Revolutionary-Cup954 · 2023-03-01T10:25:59+00:00

basically...

men: i think this particular issue is effecting men in general negativly...

women: you hate women.... misogyny

lostcymbrogi · 2023-03-01T05:31:21+00:00

I could beat a dead horse to death, but most of the other posters have already done a better job than me here. Allow me instead to offer an example of a "healthy" relationship with a woman. This isn't theoretical. I have been with the same lady for almost twenty years now and I do love her. For that matter, she loves me. That being said the emotional 'balance,' if you will has never been equal.

From the beginning I have been, and still am, expected to treat her emotions as valid...even when they aren't. I could give tons of examples of this, but suffice it to say that she sometimes descends to behavior that borders on childlike emotional manipulation. I honestly believe she either doesn't realize she does it and even thinks it's normal.

She has restricted our conversations from early on, outlawing a host of topics. These range across political, scientific, theological, and in some cases media topics such as literature or movies. The range of restricted topics grows and shrinks with her moods. She will often start conversations on these topics, in many cases with the clear intent of starting an argument. When she starts to lose, the topic quickly becomes restricted again.

I can only express my views on the world through a tiny amount of topics. While I have changed my views to agree with her more than once, I have never seen reciprocal behavior. Interestingly enough she only grudgingly admits that certain views of mine may have changed over the years. As an example I was very prolife when I was younger, but I have gotten older I see more nuance in the issue. For context we never had children nor was that an issue in our relationship as she didn't want children and I took precautions to make sure we wouldn't need to worry about such.

Does she love me? Honestly she does and I love her. The simple truth, however, is that she openly restricts our communication. Even on the communication she does allow she oft portrays my strong opinions as aggressive and dangerous. As a recent example I mentioned I was reconsidering my thoughts on the Hobbit trilogy by Peter Jackson. I originally wasn't keen on it because it stepped too far away from its source material. I still think it clearly diverges from it's source material, but am beginning to appreciate them as solid fantasy films. Her response to my thoughts on this was to say, "You just didn't like these films so much originally I decided to not tell you my thoughts on films."

This may not sound like an outrageous statement on its face. Allow me to assure you it is. When it comes to movies and music she is a wealth of info and has zero issues telling me her thoughts on even the most minute details. It seemed designed more to shut me up and hurt me than as actual comment on a choice she had made since her actions don't reflect her statement in any way.

To put this in context this is a woman that loves me. I have never even raised my voice to her in anger. I can't say she has done the same. If I ever did, she might well leave me. I on the other hand have to endure some rough tirades every month or two.

I have long since since given up trying to express my emotions or opinions on these issues. As bad as all of this may sound, it's paradise compared to many of the relationships around me and she does do some really caring acts too, such as bringing me lunch to work or sewing some safety stripes on my work clothes.

Lest this come across as completely negative, I will add she very much shows she loves me in her way. Most of those acts are physical like cooking for me or giving me kisses. She does tell me she loves me and truthfully I also love her.

According to Shakespeare the path of love never runs straight. In the modern world it is less straight than ever. She does love me and I do love her. To achieve this peace treaty, however, I am very careful how I not only speak to her, but even what I speak to her about. She would almost certainly differ with my views on this, perhaps claiming I talk about politics too often. From her perspective that's likely true. I suspect that's because so many mundane things, such as the economy, science, even the arts have become political. In either case we have found a balance.

As a result I talk to her about what she allows me to talk to her about. I obviously don't talk to her as much about what she clearly demands in terms of my silence. She does love me and would likely be shocked at my perspective. The truth is if I were to ever tell her how I feel, she would invalidate my feelings and tell me how they affect her.

To survive I have become a weather rock. If the rock is wet it's raining. If it's icy, it's snowing. If it's warm the sun is shining. The rock abides, letting the weather wash over it and surviving. Most men in serious relationships would relate to this. We are the rocks and we will survive the storm.

ZekalMacabre · 2023-03-01T06:14:38+00:00

It's because nobody actually cares.

Society is so focused on women, no attention is paid to men. Take a look at social media, for example. Thinks like "killallmen", the MeToo sham, sexist laws like VAWA, the bias in the courts against men, primary agressor laws, the Duluth model, the fact that more men die every year in job related accidents, there's far more homeless men than women and support for them doesn't exist and if it does men get accused of being the abuser when they are the victim..... I could go on for hours.

Society falls over itself to solve problems women face but ignores men and it's disgusting.

We just want to be heard, respected and valued just like anyone and everyone else. That hasn't been happening for at least 30 or 40 years now.

There's a lot more but I don't have several days to write out this post.

ElisaSKy · 2023-03-01T02:40:33+00:00

Why do you see the blue sky outside?

Because the sky is blue.

Why do men feel like no one cares about them?

Because no one cares.

ggleblanc2 · 2023-03-01T02:46:22+00:00

When anyone says, "I'm not being heard", what they mean is that when they say something, the other person doesn't respond with a comment relating to the concern. The concern is minimized or belittled.

Example:

"I wish I could have a nice dinner prepared when I get home from work."

"I'm way too busy during the day. Don't you love me anymore? You can forget about sex for the next two months."

Early-Department-234 · 2023-03-01T03:22:48+00:00

This guy got criminally charged for ranting against a police chief:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PvavcPnXst8

He got acquitted as the Judge believed that his rant was not to be taken seriously. Yet, he was ordered not to contact the Ryerson campus doctor who signed the Form One on him.

Background_Duck2932 · 2023-03-01T03:24:10+00:00

I feel like often times, whenever I'm asked to share how I'm feeling, it gets dismissed. It's not like that person doesn't care, but their response is typically something along the lines of "it's not that bad" or "it's not as bad as this other thing" or "your perspective is invalid." It's pretty rare to be given comfort and support. I've gotten advice or cold, hard facts, but it is EXTREMELY rare to just get simple support and comfort. For example, let's say you went through a break up and you're feeling frustrated, you might want to say "fk that person, I don't need them anyways" or something along those lines. What you'd want to hear from a person in that moment is something like "yeah, fk that person, they don't know what they're losing out on" or "it's ok, this just wasn't the right one for you and you'll find a better person soon enough." What you might get as a guy though is "shit happens all the time, it ain't that bad" or "can't believe you actually broke up" or if it's a friend who thought that person wasn't a good match for you, they might say "thank god you broke up because that person was terrible." That's not support and comfort, that's stating the reality of the situation.

admf97 · 2023-03-01T04:14:22+00:00

Because nobody does, not only men’s issues are rarely ever talked about but when they are it’s our fault, hell we’re even blamed for women’s issues, we’re blamed for every issue society has, we’re constantly being fed by the mainstream media and mainstream narrative that everything bad happening in the world is our fault, fuck no wonder young men are struggling but hey that’s our fault too

Something that I want that isn’t happening and would help? I want the constant gaslighting to stop for starters

WhereProgressIsMade · 2023-03-01T04:07:45+00:00

I had two guy friends in high school who I became close with and another in college. We were vulnerable with each other. It was nice to have someone that would listen to my struggles and I to his and feel like we cared about each other. I've always felt my parents cared about me too but some stuff you just don't talk about with your parents haha.

My wife is interesting to think about. I'd still say she cares, but it's a bit different because I know better than to share struggles, failures, shortcomings, and that kind of stuff or it would just turn her off. If I got severely disabled and couldn't do anything, she'd look after me.

Overkillian · 2023-03-01T04:10:37+00:00

Because often people don't. Men (with low status) are presumed to be losers, left for dead and people automatically assume they're guilty of every predicament they're in, whereas women are automatically assumed to be victims. A bit the same with psychiatric patients. They're universally stigmatized. (And everything non-visibly physical is reduced to 'whining'.)

Men also fill up most of the bottom of society, in many areas. Not just the top echelons of society. Most homeless, underachievers and poor people are male. The idea that the entire male gender is 'priviledged' is one notable lie in our times.
I'm saying this as a near marxist btw, not a conservative.

DisplacedBitzer · 2023-03-01T04:29:55+00:00

Because nobody does. Family? Couldn’t give a shit, and can’t trust them anyways. Friends? The image in their head of you changes irreversibly. Romantic interests? Straight nope. The moment you don’t act masculine/stoic is the moment you are irreversibly seen as a little lesser is what I’ve noticed. I mean, hell, I realized one of the people I thought actually cared about me was just lying to me discreetly out of politeness. Can’t really confront them, but I know. Still friends because I literally can’t avoid them for the next few years and it’s better than no one at all.

Antarkian · 2023-03-01T12:10:21+00:00

"Nice feelings, nows its time to cheat in you"

Foxsayy · 2023-03-01T04:15:17+00:00

u/tofunmit thanks for taking the time to try and understand. This reddit seems to attract a lot of men who aren't in radical territory, but are extremely jaded, and I hope you can still have empathy for these cases despite the lashing out.

There are the obvious ones you hear a lot, like men often being thought of as predators and dangerous by default, and seeing how women are allowed to express a sexuality that's integrated with both explorative and serious connections, whereas men are often seen as exploitative sex fiends, and how there are usually 4 women's organizations to men's 1 or less, even when the problem is worse, like with Women's Health and the Homelessness Crisis or Domestic Abuse support, etc.

Feeling it on a personal level is harder to explain, but it's kind of like...there's just no support, and no one cares. My very compassionate, well-intentioned friend who's more left leaning than me told me that he thinks being raped as a man by a woman isn't as a bad. He and others have also told me that women have it so much worse in so many ways, and that things like being falsely accused of rape are so sparingly rare, whereas groping, sexual assault, etc. are so overwhelmingly common. That being a gentleman is going to make sure you're free and clear of any social damage.

But I've been physically sexually harassed too. I should probably say assault, but in my mind sexual assault for a guy is still like, where they get direct genital contact or something. We're expected to be perfect gentlemen on dates, and be the initiators without making any mistakes. I once kissed a girl at the end of the date, I was nervous and went in too far, and apologized that I didn't read the room right. It was a nice date, I also stood up for her when a guy almost slugged her for no reason, and the next day she accosted me as if I'd committed a mortal sin.

I was in a long term relationship with a woman, with three kids from previous relationships, and I treated her really well. Everyone who knew us said so, and she told me I had literally saved her life on one occasion. While things were good, they were really good. But one day she came home, took my keys when I wasn't looking, and drilled me for hours on an absolutely horrible accusation. She said I hadn't done enough of the things around the house I said I would, so how could she trust me? The cops had done a "wellness" check just before she arrived. She planned to get there at the same time as them, and if she did, I don't know where I'd be now. Almost every man I know has a similar story, or knows someone personally that does. A manager at a local restaurant I knew got accused of sexual assault on multiple occasions...but only immediately after he fired a woman. But false accusations are so rare.

And let me say that I know there are ways women have it worse - like groping. I know women have that much worse than men. But when you try to advocate for yourself as a man and say that there are also things that men have much worse and you'd like to correct, you get shut down. If women rape men inside relationships so much that the gap between male-female to female-male rapists begins to close, that's somehow not as bad, or it doesn't really happen. Obviously being raped by someone you don't know isn't as bad as being taken advantage of and serially raped by an intimate partner - unless, of course, it's a woman.

It's great that women have birth control and abortion access now. The days of women's lives being ruined and missing out on college, a career, and a life where they don't have to struggle due to an unplanned child, are largely gone. It's wonderful and empowering, truly. But I know men who are in this exact same situation, and how dare you try to get out of paying to play for that child you didn't want, you piece of shit. It's a tragedy when a woman is forced to keep a child against her will, and it's a tragedy when a man isn't.

People just don't want to hear it, they're conditioned to downplay your issues and often to think less of you for thinking it should be different. And the ones who do agree, learn to be quiet.

I hope that's some help. Someone did a male vs female domestic abuse reaction video a while back. (There was one where the man was very tame compared to this, but I can't find that one.) Even if you don't read anything in this post, watch this and you can see how society really doesn't care the same way for men that it does for women. The sad thing is that it doesn't care to recognize that either.

abramN · 2023-03-01T04:20:01+00:00

The primary responses I've gotten when sharing my feelings are a) could be worse or b) the other person has it worse.

g1455ofwater · 2023-03-01T04:38:08+00:00

Because men are given less empathy and understanding in both casual social situations and legally. This video about Gamma Bias isn't a direct answer but it gives you an idea of how men are treated differently and unequally.

https://youtu.be/LHYRYKCIDxk

kneppy56 · 2023-03-01T05:34:41+00:00

Because nobody does.

Male suicide rates are much higher than women's because anytime a man wants to talk about his mental health, he's told to "man up" or "stop being a baby". Men are often taught from a young age to not cry (I was taught it is only ever acceptable to cry a little bit if a human family member dies).

False rape accusations often result in men losing their freedom for several years and women receiving no punishment, even if she admits she falsely accused him and resulted in him losing years of his life.

Men very rarely get custody of children, even if the woman is for example a drug addict or abusive to said child, they're still much more likely to get custody.

Men are the only ones required to sign up to be drafted to go to war.

Body shaming double standards hit men, for example, it's fine for women to make fun of a man's height or his penis size (things we can't control) but guys can't even mention a woman's weight (something she can control).

Men are only seen as worthy to date if they're either physically attractive (at least 6 foot tall and 6 inches long) or incredibly wealthy. The average Joe has no chance with most women's standards.

These are just a few reasons why men know society values us only as tools to be used, not as human beings

Nathaniel66 · 2023-03-01T05:50:34+00:00

Last time i've checked, in my country there are about 300 shelters for homeless women and 2 for men. Budget for health risk prevention for women is X times higher comparing to men (like breast cancer vs prostate cancer), in divorce court men get literally raped, women get bonus points when they apply to college althogh there are more women in colleges than men.

It's not that no one cares how men feel, we are literally treated like second category human.

War? Women most affected, cause f*ck that men die, women are left alone without their husband (aka providers).

Oh, and you get those articles like: "11% of journalist killed in war are women". Funny way to say, that 89% are men.

ElectronicBoss2845 · 2023-03-01T07:59:55+00:00

Because when we tell them the truth about how we feel they don’t listen, don’t believe or tell us that we feel differently.

NameIs-Already-Taken · 2023-03-01T08:18:40+00:00

Because that's how it is. Compare...
The availability of women's shelters vs men's shelters,
The judgements of family courts against men for alimony,
Men can go to prison for not paying child support, but women can withhold access to children and brainwash them against their Father with pretty much no adverse consequences,
Men almost always get longer sentences for crimes than women,
It's okay to say "kill all men", but not "kill all women", and
False allegations by women against men are rarely punished.
Society will only be happy if we work until we drop.

Extra-Strike2276 · 2023-03-01T10:55:05+00:00

It's simply because it's true. My wife had a miscarriage and not a single person asked if it effected me, not one. My house burnt down and again how are the wife and kids doing, not how do you feel losing everything you've worked for. Got our house robbed, how is the wife taken it, not how are you all doing. In everyone of those scenarios not even my wife asked if I was ok, or if I needed comfort. I was expected to be there strong and but show any concerns because if I do everyone freaks out. The time my wife's brother (who had been my friend for over 20years) was found to have been molesting his teenage step daughter i broke down, and everyone freaked out and I found out then not a single person cared how I felt. They were more embarrassed then caring that I showed emotion. We could get into getting cops called for getting angry about a women sexually harassing me for 2 years till I had enough, but everyone knows men aren't allowed to get mad for any reason and you shouldn't need examples of that.

Dismal-Cabinet5321 · 2023-03-01T11:05:24+00:00

When we say how we feel, we get accused of trauma dumping or causing emotional labor.

Orangelightning77 · 2023-03-01T12:03:42+00:00

Well not just relationships, I don't feel heard at all. I mean, on tinder, or DMs I just don't get any responses anymore and I don't understand why at all. Its been that way for a while now and it's really tanked my social skills which doesn't help

I feel when I do talk about how I feel about something to friends, family, coworkers, etc it's like I never said anything at all I mean, nothing ever seems to change.

And of course the big one that gets to me is circumcision. That's my pet issue, and it feels like I'm trying to scoop water out of a sunken ship. The fact that we don't get a choice and if you don't like it you just have to deal with it is fucking outrageous to me and I get laughed off if I bring this up as an issue.

I just don't see a point in trying to be heard about anything anymore.

Accomplished_Shoe_31 · 2023-03-01T14:22:42+00:00

So I’m going through a divorce primary due to this. My wife used to be affectionate and intimate and would initiate intimacy wether through flirting, sex, or otherwise. After we started living together I started to be treated more like a roommate she was less affectionate stopped initiating and started rejecting any advances from me more and more. I went to her and told her how it made me feel disconnected, unwanted, like there was something wrong with me, overall like shit and a failure as a man and husband. This was met with her just telling me that she “not that kind of person.” Eventually I just stopped trying to initiate because you can’t be rejected if you don’t put yourself out there.

Well she comes to me and says that she’s feeling neglected because I’ve stopped trying to initiate. So I try talking to her again about it how I’m feeling and tell her I’ll try being more romantic but also what I needed from her. I do my part but I saw no effort from her and I was just brushed off again.

Fast forward a year of feeling like a failure and overall like shit, I finally got the well paying job I wanted but my sister was murdered a month later. I try confiding in her but she uses that to try pushing us moving out of state. Obviously I wanted to stay not just for my job but to grieve with my family but we still moved because I wanted her to be happy.

She handed me the papers on my birthday in December and was with another man not even a week later.

DirectBite · 2023-03-01T14:44:21+00:00

Because no one cares about how we feel.

We are only deserving of love and affection if we are successful providers.

Shajo_17 · 2023-03-01T14:46:35+00:00

Women act like they have been oppressed for so long and now it’s time to be heard and be independent and do all the things that men can do. But in reality what a man wants is something like this.

Men’s love language is often physical touch. Not just sex. But touch. Holding hands, hugging. Kissing for no reason. Men need to feel a connection the same as a woman does but it almost never goes understood by women.

Women act like men aren’t oppressed. Try being a man in a workplace. The constant stress a man is under all day everyday to get the job done is unreal. It’s not even considered when a woman talks about why her husband is distant, or angry, or feeling anything other then happiness. The constant pressure a man feels everyday is unreal.

We want to come home to peace. We want to come home to a wife that wants us there. A happy family and a safe space for us to just relax. 5 years ago I was considering driving my truck into a tree at 150 kph. I went to a therapist, she unraveled a lot of my pain and suffering with one simple question. “You make enough money to have a stay at home wife, is this something she would be interested in?”

Turns out my wife loved the idea of it. So she quit her job, stayed at home. After the first year of this, we went back to my therapist and she could notice the difference when I walked in the door. My posture changed, I was smiling, I was excited to have my wife on my arm, I was happy.

This won’t work for everyone. Some couples have to work. But I’m telling you 100 percent, it worked for me. It changed my life. It saved my life.

Men don’t want more stress at home. We want peace, often we find that in the arms of a loving woman, and kids.

Helpfullbanana · 2023-03-01T14:47:54+00:00

I'd just like you to take a moment to consider what your consideration was when you heard men felt lonely and ignored. Did you think about how you could help men in your life, did you consider how you might be affecting men in your life, did you think how you could help, or did you immediately doubt? Unfortunately this is something well internalized by most of society, if men have a problem the question isn't "how can I help?" It's "why do they have the problem?" Instead of support men receive questioning, they always need to justify themselves, they never receive unconditional support.

nothingoodeverhappen · 2023-03-01T15:00:27+00:00

Mainly because women do stuff and dont care how we feel. Yet we do anything first question asked is how will she feel. Men are supposed to bend over and take it.

btbamcolors · 2023-03-01T16:17:56+00:00

At 31, all of my relationships with women have been me giving more than I take, or in the case of my mother, expected to give more. No gift or kindness is ever truly given freely. She has BPD and is a narcissistic religious nut job, though.

In romantic relationships, my experience has exclusively been women that will unload about their day, their problems, their trauma, and hardly ever ask a question about me. I go out of my way to ask about them and be supportive, but it is not equally reciprocated. I have been shown time and time again that women who I truly love, even more than myself, will throw me away with little to no regard for me.

I have discovered that the idea of internally “mourning a relationship” is considered common and acceptable by women of my generation in the US. Even when communication is open and there are no barriers to talking through problems, a woman will decide the relationship is dead, then for the sake of her own comfort, keep it to herself for weeks or months while pretending everything is fine so she can plan her next move. It doesn’t matter how supportive of a partner you are, you can go from her looking you in the eyes and saying “I love you so much” to her blowing up your life in a few weeks with no significant events or warning signs between.

Shit’s fucked up, man. The cishet women who want equal partnership working toward a common goal seem to be very much in the minority. That’s why you have trends like “passport bros.” The culture is fucked. There are a lot things to blame, but for one, simping has to stop. Men need to call simps out and shame them. Simping and attraction inequality have created a feedback loop, a spiral fueled by dating apps and OnlyFans that has entirely fucked hetero gender dynamics in the US.

Men, if you know a simp, shame them. Without shame there are no social norms.

Rude_Shock343 · 2023-03-01T17:15:33+00:00

cause no one does. if we express sadness or insecurity, we are manbabies. If we express anger ir frustration we are toxic. If we express happiness, we are privileged oppressors.

LionVenom10 · 2023-03-01T18:06:05+00:00

I feel like every now and then I see this post and OP ends up being angry from the responses, which is probably why we feel that way, you don’t actually care, it’s somehow about you.

jedi1josh · 2023-03-01T21:35:02+00:00

I don't know if this helps but if you Google "why does my husband yell at me" you are immediately shown phone numbers to abuse hotlines, but if you Google "why does my wife yell at me" your given articles about how women can feel ignored or have past tramua. Even Google doesn't care if men feel ignored or have tramua in their lives.

fbacaleb · 2023-03-01T09:00:30+00:00

This girl is a troll, she keeps asking “why” we feel this way but isn’t listening, don’t waste your time on this stupid troll. If she really cared she’d listen. It’s exausting speaking to a wall who pretends to care.

angrygrumphead · 2023-03-01T05:02:48+00:00

I just say I'm living the dream, which is code for "I wanna get hit by a truck" . I use my depression as a joke and that helps a bit. And I only share my feelings with people I feel I can trust. Other than that, nope. Hide it.

Drougen · 2023-03-01T05:45:58+00:00

Because nobody in our lives has ever shown they care about how we feel maybe? 😂

You bring up men's rights and the problems you face and literally get harassed and called and incel.

AAAAAGGGGHHH · 2023-03-01T06:09:47+00:00

I feel like I should respond because a lot of people are replying to this from a place of anger because they are affected by the lack of empathy men deal with daily and are impatient with having to explain a genuine issue men deal with.

Men do not get treated the same way in relationships for the same reason women are afraid of getting sexually harassed in public. Women are more sought after for relationships than men. Relatively, women are more wanted and nurtured by society. Men are treated as expendable, and are given more dangerous jobs normally. Whereas, if men want to be in a more nurturing role (elementary educator, kindergarden teacher, babysitter) they are treated more often like they are creepy, and are often assumed to be a pedophile. Women who consider early education or babysitting as a career are not given the same scrutiny.

Women get away with more domestic abuse than men. Here is an article about a woman that stabbed her ex with a bread knife, and assaulted him with multiple random items in a drug fueled rage. She was not sent to prison after, it also shows three other cases where men were involved in similar incidents and were sentenced to between 1 to 6 years in prison because she apologized and looked "genuinely remorseful". When men look genuinely remorseful, they are not spared like this woman was.

I want the world to expect the same thing from everyone. I want to not get stares when I take my daughter to the park. I want society to not give men more harsh punishments for the same crime. I want men and women to treat each other like they are good people before they are proven to be otherwise. The world doesn't act like that right now, and it should.

heyaanaaya · 2023-03-01T06:10:06+00:00

For a long time, there was a pattern in my relationships that's clear in hindsight. My partners would get upset at me for not being vulnerable enough (lots of crying), then even more upset at me when I would try to express myself more deeply (lots of name-calling, eye-rolling, invalidation of feelings). This kind of conversation happened all the time, and I remember taking it on as some sort of axiom: I'm bad at expressing my emotions, and she's right to be upset with me about it. I really started thinking of myself as emotionally crippled, and my partners were happy to reinforce that idea and use it to make me feel guilty and capitulate when we disagreed.

That dynamic can definitely happen in both directions, and indeed I made the choice to stay with these people (thankfully there were no kids or long-term obligations involved). But I do think we were playing into a cultural story that gets shoved down our throats a lot in the US: that a man in a heterosexual relationship is lucky to be there and needs to repeatedly prove his worth, and conversely that it's normal for a woman to be constantly disappointed in her partner and tell him what he is or isn't supposed to do and feel. I feel like a lot of people have subconsciously adopted some version of this idea, and (anecdotally) I certainly see it a lot among my friends and whenever I date new people. I'm guessing men are often referring to something like this when they talk about not feeling heard in relationships.

Of course, the reality is that these were just not healthy relationships, but neither of us was mature enough to say right away that we should break up. These days I'm much better at standing up for myself, and I'm in a supportive partnership where both of us actually respect each other, and care about communicating well and owning our shit.

mrkpxx · 2023-03-01T07:34:59+00:00

Women are born with the potential to become mothers and are considered inherently valuable (Human Beings), while men first have to fight for a role of provider (Human Doings). Getting a few winners (semen is cheap) is enough to keep the community alive, while every woman was/is important for considering importance (eggs are expensive).

Women seek men who promise security. This protection means that women lack the ability to act (hypoagency). This means they don't have the will and desire to make decisions to affect the world around them.

This passivity is synonymous with a fundamental lack of drive in women to lead and take responsibility. At Hypoagency, it's always "someone else's fault" and so women don't learn from their mistakes. They will not be held accountable for the decisions they make and the consequences that result from them.

This not only has the consequence that women hand out much lighter sentences in court, but that they repeatedly rely on the guilt of men in relationship issues.

Haunting_Conference9 · 2023-03-01T07:45:10+00:00

I'd like to start a podcast about men's health, mens rights but I don't have any money I'm waiting for the house to be settled in my divorce and I'll see how much money I have left over can anyone point me in the right direction as to how to start a podcast

AspirationsOfFreedom · 2023-03-01T08:26:05+00:00

The titanic sinks in modern day, do we say "children first, then adults?" No.

Because we (men) are litterally expected to die to ensure you all survive. We are expendable. When the tiger comes, we are supposed to walk between. When it comes to providing, men are being expected to work hard and sacrefice their tile to provide (the traditional way), yet women arent held to their traditions. Men needs to approach women for contact, but there is soooo many cases of being percieved as creepy that you fun the constant risk of not only rejection, but outright persecution.

But if you need to test it, make a fake tinder account (man), of average height and apperance, and try getting yourself a date :)

ConCreature_227 · 2023-03-01T08:45:31+00:00

Same as why we feel 2+2=4

solar-garlic1776 · 2023-03-01T12:49:42+00:00

OP,

1) any form of weakness shown by a man is an immediate turn off to women

2) all you have to do is acknowledge the hypocrisy and double standards and we, for the most part don't really have emotional issues. Our issues are logical

3) women CANNOT keep their mouths shut. You have an incessant need to talk gossip about everything. This makes you untrustworthy.

4) society has said it doesn't give a fuck about men. Society only cares about the value we offer.

The one thing we preach here is vent here and ask other guys for their input never bring any issue to a woman. Mainly because of the reasons listed above but also what advise can a woman offer thatvis better than what a guys friends can offer.

Digger_is_taken · 2023-03-01T13:30:27+00:00

Your question is phrased very poorly. Why does it feel like no one cares about how we feel? Because we have learned through experience that many people do not care how we feel.

A more lucid question would be, How does it feel to know that few people care about your well-being?

When I was 22, I hooked up with a beautiful woman. We had a blast together and it became a repeated thing. Eventually she told me that she wanted me to take her virginity. I didn't want to have sex with her. She pressured me for weeks. "What is wrong with you?" Eventually I relented. We had sex. Neither of us enjoyed it. She left the room to clean up, and I started crying. She came back into the room to tell me that there wasn't any blood and she wasn't very sore, noticed that I was crying, and got offended that I wasn't paying attention to her big moment. The next time I saw her she dumped me.

When I was 25, my girlfriend of 2 years dumped me. When I lamented on social media (myspace!) that the longest relationship of my life had ended and I didn't know why, she explained it to me. she told me in writing that I had "all of the emotional qualities that [she] wanted" but that she "couldn't get over the fact that you're a 25-year-old waiter" and was "tired of waiting for you to grow up."

My current girlfriend tries. She really does love me and she feels terrible about it when she tramples on my emotions. But she does it all the time anyway. She has no emotional intelligence when it comes to men. And why wouldn't that be? How could she possibly have developed the skills to care for men's emotional needs? It is not her fault. it is the ocean that she swims in.

So you tell me. How do you think that feels?

HearMeowWorsen · 2023-03-01T14:05:07+00:00

Because the only people who actually give a shit about men are in spaces like this.

CDShells · 2023-03-01T16:05:32+00:00

As a man we sometimes feel as though we don’t have someone to reach out to. We can feel as though we have nobody. Likewise the mental health of men is not always taken super seriously. Such notions of people saying to get over it or grow up and be a man. As a man in society (though it’s changed over the years.) you are typically viewed as a provider. I did a presentation on the topic of suicide and I found that men were more likely than women and I would attribute it to them not having the preventative resources available.

TheStoicMind · 2023-03-01T16:06:44+00:00

It’s a subjective question but for me the underlying emotions are ultimately disappointment, sadness and resentment. I currently live in a dynamic where I am bombarded by my partner constantly telling me how she feels, what she’s excited about, what her goals are, etc. I give her my attention, I focus and I provide feedback to the best of my ability. If she is venting about dynamics in our relationship and how it makes her feel I try to listen and empathize as best I can in order to adapt to those needs. Within reason of course.

However, the inverse isn’t equal. Often times when I’m excited and want to talk about my day or how I’m feeling or my goals she is only half listening. I can read from her tone and body language that it is an inconvenience 99% of the time. However, the biggest issue for me is when I vent or voice my opinion about dynamics in our relationship that make me upset. Most often I am met with aggression towards, denial and dismissal of my feelings. Ultimately the way I feel is just my own self delusion and invalid.

Now, maybe that’s true. Maybe it’s not.

The only thing I can say for sure is that it is not sustainable.

I keep to myself and bottle my emotions with her.

Luckily I have a group of men I can lean on and be myself around. I think that’s something that males lack in society today. Hence why you see such mental health issues in men. That’s something I’m currently working on. To develop an inclusive group where men from all walks of life can get together and be heard.

LobstersMateForLife · 2023-03-01T16:44:53+00:00

Because no one actually does care about men’s feelings. We’ve created a society where men having feelings is considered so wrong that when we do show them, we’re labeled as toxic narcissists or misogynists. This creates a vicious cycle of men burying their feelings only to later explode, be called terrible things, and then stuff it back down until the next explosion.

I’m in the middle of a divorce because for five years my wife labeled my feelings as toxic and expected me to be a happy go lucky husband who shows up no matter what and is basically a fucking robot.

And I know I’m not the only man who’s been treated like this. Most of us are. Women have literally created the red pill/incel/mgtow worlds by constantly putting men down and ignoring us. And quite frankly, I feel that’s more toxic than anything.

Mrcheddarbacon · 2023-03-01T17:47:39+00:00

It’s simple. In society, there is such a thing called “unconditional love”.

Only a Woman and a Child are loved unconditionally. A man is only loved on the condition that he can provide. As far as society is concerned, a man is only worth what he knows and what his range of capabilities are.

Let’s look at it this way and keep society in mind while I give the example:

If a man is stranded on the side of the road, is a woman going to pull over and offer help/give him a ride? No, that could put herself into harms way. Will another man pull over to help? No, because it isn’t a poor woman In need of help. Therefore; that man better know how to fix the car himself because nobody is going to help him. This is why most men come to the ideology that they better just shut up, get it done and keep moving forward. Nobody cares about our problems. “Shut up and be a man”. (May not be the best example but I think I made it clear).

When a man is still a child, he is loved.. but the sad reality is, once that boy grows up he will realize nobody gives a shit about him. Nobody will give him a chance simply because he wants it. Nobody will give him a job if he lacks knowledge. Woman won’t care for him if he can’t provide, if he doesn’t have a home. Society has made it so a man is only loved on the condition that they can provide something. Every sex has its disadvantages in society, there is no denying that. But you tell me what young girl coming out of school won’t get any males attention regardless of her credibility? But a man.. how many men will get attention if they aren’t worth anything? Men and woman aren’t valued the same. A man is only valued on what he can provide. So why would we believe anyone gives a shit about us?

I’ve worked my hands until they’ve bled, just for a woman with 2 weeks experience to get the position I worked for.

When I was 8, a 16 y/o babysitter took advantage of me. I get laughed at. It’s affected me in sexual encounters, woman shame me for it.

I’ve faced rejection after rejection, and I get told it’s part of it and to approach more woman.

My mother was an addict, I wished to live with my father, the courts still gave my mother custody. (How would this not scare any man?)

I’m not tall, so.. I’m no good I guess. Been in abusive relationships? Damaged goods.

It goes on and on. (Sorry to rant). Individually, men know their friends care for them.. but what if they don’t have friends..? society on the other hand.. well, every day media makes men out to look like monsters.. society doesn’t give a shit.

JackFuckingReacher · 2023-03-01T18:18:39+00:00

Anecdotal. Before buying my house, the final numbers seemed too much for me to take care of on my own and would be overwhelming. I expressed this to my wife at the time. Her response: don’t be a chickenshit, handle it.

In general it seems our feelings are invalidated simply because we are men.

FappingFop · 2023-03-01T18:42:50+00:00

OP stuck around for about three replies, tried to explain to them that they are wrong and people care, then just noped herself out of this thread.

SamaelET · 2023-03-01T19:36:48+00:00

Here are non MRAs men answering your question in mass :

https://www.reddit.com/r/AskMen/comments/yy2rcv/men_who_encourage_other_men_not_to_open_up_to/iwsae0r?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share&context=3

https://www.reddit.com/r/AskMen/comments/yy2rcv/men_who_encourage_other_men_not_to_open_up_to/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button

Men don't feel it. They learn it through their lives. If you go through you life getting shunned or dismissed when expressing your emotions, you obviously stop.

When men and boys see how women and girls are treated better than men and boys, treated with more care and empathy, they will realize it. At least in an unconscious level. Someone woth pampered since childhood will obviously open up more easily that someone who is raised with a "deal with it yourself" mentality.

Moreover think about the misandry in the media, social media, in school, public spaces, etc. When men and boys are taught they are devils, obviously they will conclude no ones care. After all, who would care for devils ?

Think about the coverage of Ukraine. How much focus is there on female volunteers compared to the men forced to fight ? How much do people talk about those men with empathy ? People prefer to talk about the few female fighters because men do not matter at all.

GrandpaTheBand · 2023-03-01T20:21:15+00:00

It's because men are not appreciated. Everything we do, we do to make women happy.
All we won't is some recognition, a 'good job' once in a while and for fucks sake, loyalty. We need to know you have our back. One reason for men's stoicism is as stated below. When we confide in women, it get's thrown back at us as a weapon later. We open up to our male friends because it doesn't come back to haunt us. Men are also quiet because we don't that much to say.

2023-03-01T21:00:19+00:00

Because it's true

mischievous_badger_ · 2023-03-01T14:23:05+00:00

I cried a few times in front of my girlfriend of 2 years while I was dealing with a close friend’s suicide. Huge mistake. She would never admit it but I can tell she looked at me differently after that.

Women say “be open and share your emotions” but they don’t actually mean it. There’s no getting around the fact that a dude crying just isn’t attractive.

Edit: to clarify I don’t hold any ill will towards her. You can’t help how you feel

Tarmek12 · 2023-03-01T05:50:48+00:00

Because it’s true. In my most recent relationship I told my ex that I felt we lacked intimacy. She took this as me saying she owed me sex. When I explained in detail with examples what I meant she couldn’t repeat back any of those examples. When I stated that I really just wanted a night of quality time with her and explained why she flipped it onto me saying that I was expecting to be her only priority in life. When I gave her examples of things I’d stopped inviting her to or her lack of interest in the joint playlist I had made for us as examples of things that we could do together just to spend more time together directly and indirectly she called them silent tests. So, never again.

17_yr_o_nibba · 2023-03-01T06:10:13+00:00

It's just an instant turn off for most women, whenever we try to open up and express our emotions. So we just tend to do that privately instead.

praductjr · 2023-03-01T06:37:55+00:00

You want the best answer for this. Google Norah Vincent. Do some research. Then YouTube Norah Vincent. Watch the documentary. Then your questions and curiosity will be answered.

PrinceArchie · 2023-03-01T07:06:53+00:00

Because unfortunately guys end up turning into a few things presumably by most people.

Narcissistic jerk who has his way with women, lies and benefits from the patriarchy -“Nice guy” who pretends to be a friend but is just a shifty lair who is a narcissist -Bitter asshole who is a misogynist -Weak guy who is too emotional, not tough, blue pill and needs thick skin -Weak guy who is too quiet was bullied wants revenge and might be a school shooter

The very few positive assumptions made about guys tend to be about guys who are perceived to be attractive and they are automatically “womanizers” or probably get around. If you aren’t attractive and perceived nice because you are genuinely kind you are looked at as someone who is reliable to emotionally dump on or give more work too. I’ve seen this so many times it’s crazy. Good dudes who turn into yes men and get over worked because they are genuinely nice. These guys always get taken for a ride.

So it becomes so distasteful to the eyes of many guys who don’t want to get used because those nice guys rarely ever get reciprocity romantically. It feels like betrayal, and when guys try to point out that not every guy is an abuser or irresponsible child it’s met with pessimism, pontificating about the patriarchy, emotional intelligence, women being DV victims, etc. Your perspective becomes interestingly minimized, you are implored to further be an advocate for women’s rights despite still receiving no reciprocity for the kindness so no one pours into you. Everything is the bad guys fault and the good guy has to be thankless and take the fall. The good man’s sexual needs don’t get talked about, don’t get met. Their aspirations need to be the good will for the victimized at their expense. It’s just a bleak thing to see all around.

No-Needleworker-9307 · 2023-03-01T07:24:56+00:00

Alright I’ll give you a perspective that might explain some of this . I’m a dad of 3 aged 3m 7m 9f and I’ve been married for 15 years . I’ve had to learn that during a fight , I’ve gotta be the one to de-escalate , this means in a lot of cases , whether with my wife or with my kids or between my wife and kids or kids and kids , that I have to put my emotions aside and be the grown up and help both sides air their issues .

Now this can make you feel like a punching bag at times as your kids yell , your wife yells and you are the one expected to de-escalate otherwise it means fights get bigger and louder and police are called . So you feel like your emotions don’t matter as much because they are the first ones to be silenced for the betterment of your family

Now next point , a conversation with my wife as a SAHD and carer for my wife , I told her that some days I don’t want to be a dad because I just need a break , which led to a conversation when I said “ men generally end up one of two ways more often than no , they will leave as they know they can’t separate the kids from their wife or they stay until they break “ she mentioned options , to which I said “ the other options are the family understands the position they have put the dad in and work on better treatment and or hubby gets mental health help but those are seldom real options and it’s usually he runs or he unalives “

So i personally took the mental health option , whilst I got help , my wife too got help , it was still a gigantic uphill battle as I was told to prioritise my mental health but then constantly hide my emotions to help my family work on issues , only then to breakdown and try and talk to my wife about issues , for me to then have to comfort her and console her because the things I’ve said have been pretty raw and real . So pushing shit uphill , each move I make then doubles or triples my workload and at some point you have to stand back and say WHY .

Another one is that when we do breakdown and struggle and open up to our partners , we then see the things we worry and stress over , become ammunition when our wives get angry and let the tongue slip . So a place we feel safe talking our issues now isn’t safe and our traumas are used against us leading to us recoiling to try and heal , thus leading to a funk spiral . The more you recoil , the less you do , the less you do the more drop the ball as a SAHD , thus spiralling down until we feel hollow and broken .

Now I’m on the right track , my wife is getting there and so are our kids and we are learning to handle emotions better but whenever fights happen , emotions go away and try to settle the issues .

I hope from this you have seen that just from my example that all the way along my emotions aren’t the same or taken seriously as my wife or kids by my wife or kids .

Aimless-Nomad · 2023-03-01T08:45:25+00:00

u/tofunmit

Because women absolutely don't give a fuck about men. But then turn around and say 'why do the men think this way' lol.

Check out this thread that got deleted cos our feminist overlords didn't like the responses. OP tried gaslighting them but couldn't gaslight them all.

https://np.reddit.com/r/AskMen/comments/yy2rcv/men_who_encourage_other_men_not_to_open_up_to/

hottake_toothache · 2023-03-01T14:13:58+00:00

Women think that they want men to communicate, but the truth is that the is a very small list of things that they want the man to say. If he deviates from that list, she punishes him with an immediate emotional reaction, and then ongoing passive aggressive punishment. (This is my own experience, but I feel it is pretty extensive.)

SuspiciousFoot9439 · 2023-03-01T14:18:46+00:00

because they dont

Wlufy · 2023-03-01T14:18:46+00:00

Once a man show his true feelings, those feelings will be once used against him in the future.

Men are constantly blamed for everything, doesn't matter what (woman decide to cheats), she blames him for not getting enough attention, but, he is working his ass off, so she can have luxuries/privilege life or even food on table.

Men's life, career, reputation can be ruined if a woman decide out of spite or revenge or jealousy to say few words to someone or the court of public opinion (social media).

So why bother showing inch of feelings to this forsaken society?

Full-Syrup3394 · 2023-03-01T15:02:14+00:00

“Learn how to treat a woman” - like all women are the same.

“Happy wife happy life” - as if it’s the man’s fault if she’s not.

Simply a large issue is society shows compassion to women where men aren’t. Which is a double edged sword. Women often aren’t taken seriously but can prove themself but men have to succeed or be deemed as less than.

We never teach women, “how to treat men/people” We never teach women that men can be the prize. We never teach women that it’s not settling to date someone with in your means.

We’re at a time where we empower women to be educated even more then men, to provide like men, and to protect like men. Well not allowing men to take care of the home like women, love the children like women, and be the support for the family. Not saying the roles can’t be shared but social men still have to be men and compete with women or be seen as less than typically which most men don’t want.

This leads to women getting educated, enjoying their 20s having fun, hitting the wall, not having a family and blaming men for having standards and feminism for lying to them.

When we know men are simple but shallow. We like fertile, attractive women capable of caring for our children and the family.

Well women like men that have any type of power may it be financial, physical, social, and so on. That’s why leadership dynamics cause issues because it makes that person more attractive to the women compared to if he was their peer.

Not saying some people won’t date outside of those standards it’s just not as common because we all have standards and not many men want to feel unwanted until late 20s mid 30s just to date a single mom that has a body count when they can date a women in her 20s that will admire/use his stability.

Women have it harder imo but that’s a whole new topic. I couldn’t imagine being reduced to looks and so on.

CommissarSteel56 · 2023-03-01T15:53:38+00:00

It's been said thousands of times. Translated into every language, and repeated more times than a Twitter post.

Modern society does not care about men.

The only time it does is when it needs something done, then throws us away.

Yet even now people will still ask why when we have answered.

We have answered, no one is listening.

Middle_Raisin_7481 · 2023-03-01T16:44:07+00:00

I appreciate your willingness to try responding to many posts. No society has really cared about a great deal about men's feelings. It is natural and does not bother me mostly. I think society should care to a small degree and not joyfully treating men like punching bags. What bothers me is our society has no respect for men or masculinity. This is unnatural.

The following is the basic mechanisms behind this. People are of course complicated.

If a man expresses vulnerability, women literally feel disgust because it signals he is not a strong provider. This is happening in the immediate, primitives part of the brain. As human beings, we have a conscious part of our brain that can somewhat move past these immediate reactions. For example, if someone makes a person really angry, that person may feel a strong urge in their primative part of the brain to punch the other person. But they take a deep breath and consciously think about the consequences and morals or doing so, and decide against it.

Women don't have to be a slave to these feelings of disgust, but it is something you have to actively think about it to overcome.

If a man is a songwriter expressing vulnerability, but is very successful, a woman may not feel disgust. These traits he has signal he is a strong provider because he has resources.

Again, people are complicated with their personalities, morals, histories, etc. But if a woman choices to, she explores these in her conscious brain after that initial primative reaction.

I am happy to discuss anything with you here or in a message, anytime.

Ajenkinsphotography · 2023-03-01T17:47:59+00:00

Because no one gives a shit how we feel.

sho3gazezzastroknott · 2023-03-01T18:40:51+00:00

Cause its proven time and time again to them that no one does!

NtsParadize · 2023-03-01T20:39:40+00:00

I have never met someone irl who has genuinely cared about my feelings.

Gonathen · 2023-03-01T20:49:46+00:00

Dread, and trust issues.

Dietrich_Badger · 2023-03-01T15:02:51+00:00

Extremely bad-faith post. Surprised the troll has so many upvotes.

EvidencePlz · 2023-03-01T04:37:32+00:00

I would love to hear about what it is that you expect and want that isn't happening now

If a bald, ugly, 3/10 woman with multiple teeth missing can walk into a bar on a typical Saturday night, be able to fuck 10 random men without spending a single penny, and then walk out with 3 boyfriends, all within a timespan of an hour, then an equally bald, ugly and 3/10 man with multiple teeth missing should be able to and should have the right to freely walk into the same bar (or similar bars), fuck 10 random chicks without having to pay a penny, and then walk out with 3 girlfriends, all within the same timespan.

You as a female want to be equal to me, a man. Then I as a male also want to be equal to you and want to have the same societal and sexual rights and privileges as you do. Right now I pay escorts 4-5 times a year for sex, and use VR porn, sex dolls, devices and AI in the meantime. Why am I having to pay for all these when you and fellow members of your gender don't?

what would help to make you feel heard

When you and your fellow members of your gender arrange for the above privilege (mentioned above) to be granted to men, it would help to make us feel heard. Until then, you are just a little insignificant NPC (non-playing-character in a video game) to me, and your only value to me is that of an artificial vagina sleeve that a monkey could buy off Ebay for £20 with a credit card.

Any more questions...feel free to ask.

Specific-Gate-1191 · 2023-03-01T03:00:52+00:00

Are you lost?

HaughtyHellscream · 2023-03-01T02:37:05+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Jean_o_tails · 2023-03-02T02:40:04+00:00

Because it is pretty much true: no one does.

cl1p5 · 2023-03-01T04:42:13+00:00

Because before we were told to share our feelings. We were told men are supposed to control their feelings.

IlliteracyPrevails · 2023-03-01T04:53:35+00:00

I literally don't know how to cry even I just can't do it I got so many pent up emotions and no way to deal with em at this point so oh well I guess

Morden013 · 2023-03-01T05:15:54+00:00

Just some of the reasons:

We are brought up to look resilient, tough, in control, or like we don't care about the problems. This is what we instinctively project on the outside. The fact is that women very often don't even bother to find out what is beneath the surface, but instead take us for granted.
The same is with our emotions - never cry, bottle up your fears, feelings, insecurities. - It is a well-known fact that the relationship is practically over once a man opens up and shows he is vulnerable to a woman. They prefer to go for Chad.
We are usually taken for granted. Chris Rock said a very hurtful, but very truthful thing: "Only kids, women and dogs are loved unconditionally.". Look at his show, in which he said it, because he explained it in a very honest way.

aerial_coitus · 2023-03-01T06:09:30+00:00

because nobody cares about how men feel. you can say you care, but talk is cheap, and when it really comes down to it, at the end of the day, nobody truly cares. many others on this thread have already echoed similar sentiments but nobody wants to believe it because it goes against the whole fairy tale that we are all led to believe.

emetres121 · 2023-03-01T06:46:26+00:00

For example: my current relationship:

When she feels something is wrong she can just say it, when I want to talk about something important to me there is never time, never a place and if its how she makes me feel, its my problem only

Maffioze · 2023-03-01T08:56:18+00:00

Most women generally see a relationship where they take up more emotional space as being the normal. Most women are completely unaware of this reality and just dismiss male experiences so we end up not feeling heard.

throwawayiamdone · 2023-03-01T09:31:43+00:00

I once posted a question to a sugardaddy/sugarbaby community. I asked basically if it was about sex or if it is a relationship where I can talk about emotions. I got thrown out and it was made clear that men do not discuss emotions, in that kind of relationship the woman wants money and will need to provide sex in return. She will never provide any kind if emotional support. I found it very interesting and telling of how the world works.

So even if I literally pay someone to care, they will not care.

Many_Temperature2116 · 2023-03-01T09:50:48+00:00

Most of the time because people don’t, but I was lucky enough to be born in a place where people actually care about me and my feelings.

danielm316 · 2023-03-01T12:11:13+00:00

Men's role is to provide and protect; therefore everything that helps men to provide and protect is good and everything that is not about providing and protecting is bad.

Protectors are expendable, it is a part of our role.

Traditionalists embrace this role.

MRAs try to change this role.

MGTOW have contempt for this role.

What will the future hold? Who knows.

RikuAotsuki · 2023-03-01T12:30:29+00:00

Men feel like no one cares because it is very, very hard for men to find someone who will empathize with them, not look down on them for expressing emotions, not make the conversation about themselves or wildly misjudge what's going on, and not use that vulnerability against them later. Additionally, men are objectified in society. It's different from the kind women deal with; a society treats men as disposable. Tools to be used until they break, then discarded.

Men receive less empathy than women; this point should be obvious. The push to get men to open up more is still new, and that point of view hasn't become ubiquitous enough for men to be safe doing so.

When men express feelings without prompting, they frequently get brushed off or told to man up.

Men who open up to wives or girlfriends (mind you, they often need to build significant trust to be willing to do so) frequently find those emotions thrown back at them later. Maybe they're no longer "manly enough," or maybe it gets used as a low blow in an argument, or maybe it gets posted all over social media. Regardless, it happens. A lot. You don't get over being violated like that easily.

Another one: a lot of people--including men--get louder and more emphatic when disclosing feelings about something upsetting. Unfortunately, a man being loud and emphatic reads as "angry and potentially violent" to a lot of women, regardless of whether or not anger is what's being expressed. Suddenly, expressing their feelings has turned into managing those of the woman they were talking to instead.

Now, the main reason I say "women" here, over and over, is because men have to handle expressing their emotions differently for men and women. Usually, men can be much more open about what's bothering them with other men, but have to downplay it, with a handful of exceptions. This actually works pretty well for most guys, but at least in the US, men aren't really allowed to have places of their own, away from women. Media cries sexism, and they're forced to close or allow women. But men can't interact the way they normally do with women present, because they automatically begin self-moderating.

...And I'm still only vaguely summarizing some common reasons, here.

Codename-18 · 2023-03-01T12:51:56+00:00

Because it's true, also the process of rainbow-f-word-ization of men isn't helping.

Today I was strolling looking at a bell tower and I bumped into a guy who was walking straight trying hard to act alpha.

Me "sorry" Him "don't be sorry" Then he mumbles something then Him "actually be sorry + some other gibberish" Then he turns around like a fucking passive-aggressive pussy. I could have fucked him up blindfolded since the guy was scrawny.

That's the average interaction a man has on a daily life, if it's not isolation or even more emotions-driven bullshit on dating apps.

The process of caring about men should start with beta bashing + camaraderie, the good ol' way.

TheInvisibleWun2 · 2023-03-01T14:26:29+00:00

Ag ja. What do you want to know for. Of course they're not heard, man. They never are. Things are expected of men and if they don't provide same they are called 'not men'. Don't come trying to intellectualise a known fact for whatever blinking agenda you might have.

Imissyourgirlfriend2 · 2023-03-01T14:28:09+00:00

Just notice professional sports during October and then November. Pay attention to what colors the teams wear and how much advertising about breast cancer (which men get too) in October vs the colors and advertising in November. Notice how prostate cancer (which only men get and pretty much all men will get) gets swept under the rug while breast cancer is front and center.

Notice how whenever they talk about homelessness, they quickly point out that something like 1 in 5 homeless are women!! But doesn't that mean 4 out 5 homeless are men? But they keep that part quiet.

Boys and men are failing and dropping out of education faster than the decline of the bed population, but all the campaigns are about supporting women and girls in STEM. Notice how there are no campaigns about promoting girls/women as garbage collectors or plumbers or line workers or construction (and when I say construction, I mean those people who get up at 3am, get to the job site before the sun is up, and do manual labor for the next 8 hours...or more).

The way we know no one cares about us is the deafening silence when it comes to what plagues us.

Full-Syrup3394 · 2023-03-01T14:42:30+00:00

It’s really nuanced so it’s hard. But you can alway address certain areas.

SirBlankFace · 2023-03-01T16:12:07+00:00

Honestly the only one to ever care about how I feel is my girlfriend, not even my own family gave a rat's ass I'm truly blessed to have someone care for me when I know the vast majority of men don't.

2023-03-01T18:50:17+00:00

For years, us men likely did get away with bad behavior. Those of us today are paying the price for that. We get no quarter for a mistake, especially if the defendant is a woman or from a group that is seen as a “victim”.

We have no room to fuck up anymore. It puts some pressure on me, having to live life just playing not to lose. If that makes me a bayta male, then I suppose it does. Being the other kind of male (which I think I associate more with), has great risk now.

So, back to original question, about feelings. Our emotions are just disregarded now. While my wife of 24 years does listen, she even has a short tolerance for it. It’s a difficult way to live. And contributes heavily to how some males lash out with violence after hiding their emotions over a long period.

Noisy_Corgi · 2023-03-01T19:19:55+00:00

This may seem silly but it's indicative of the way Men are seen in today's culture:

We must be swift as the coursing river

(Be a man)

With all the force of a great typhoon

(Be a man)

With all the strength of a raging fire

Mysterious as the dark side of the moon

Show me where there is space for feelings in this well-known chorus. You can't cause it's not part of the definition of manhood. No one cares about your feelings as a man.

Bernard245 · 2023-03-01T23:24:27+00:00

When you put yourself out there as "emotionally available" it paints a fat target on your forehead for manipulators and abusers who know how to set their hooks in a man to hurt them.

If you are someone who is openly emotionally available, most women find this to be a turn off. Women are primarily interested in providers, and subconsciously dissassociate men with feelings as provider archetypes. (Hard to be a hunter-gatherer with tears in your eyes)

Emotionally available men appear weak/soft to other men, because most men are not afforded the emotional and psychological breathing space to develop a strong understanding of their own emotions, leaving the bulk majority of men emotionally stunted or underdeveloped. When they interact with emotionally available men, they either lived a pampered life, that afforded them the time for the deep introspection necessary to develop complex emotions, or, they lived a life of isolation, affording them that same opportunity for introspection. So The majority of interactions will be with pampered men, thus perpetuating the stereotype that all emotionally available men must be pampered. (Isolators will continue to isolate) But the only place most men and emotionally available men are going to meet each other is at schools, or paid service establishments such as bars, or event venues. They will rarely meet at work, because they will rarely do the same kind of jobs.

So, to choose emotional availability is to choose isolation, and otherness. It's choosing to be targeted by bad actors, and it's choosing to be ostracized by the majority of the population.

Some men will have a brief encounter with their emotions, realize what this could mean for them, and will shut themselves down for fear of going too far with it.

Ultimately, it's not something our society respects, and openly rejects when possible. Go anywhere in the world, and emotionally available men are still if not even more rejected.

Men have jobs in this world, that need you to be as emotionally shut off as possible to endure. Men have to work those jobs, and those jobs need men to work them. If every man opened themselves up emotionally, all at once, it would have globally catastrophic effects.

The world can't afford to care about men. There aren't enough fucks to go around once women and children take their share. We can spare a few for global leaders and male celebrities, but not even all of them either.

BigBadBootyDaddy10 · 2023-03-02T00:28:31+00:00

We walk from one umbrella to umbrella in the rain only to remain wet and cold.

Haunting_Conference9 · 2023-03-02T02:27:39+00:00

Totally agree

thingpaint · 2023-03-02T20:15:20+00:00

It's fairly simple. I will be 40 this year, no one has ever really cared how I feel in my life.

People say they care but their actions during some of the hardest times of my life say they don't. My feelings usually end up minimalized or pushed aside because other people's feelings are more important.

Also, I would love to hear about what it is that you expect

I don't expect it will ever change.

ArticRex · 2023-03-04T23:27:14+00:00

Because no one does. Men’s lives today are valued on how much they can work. That’s it.

gamerlololdude · 2023-03-01T03:43:29+00:00

I would like to point out that this sentiment is applicable to neurodiverse men specifically. Patriarchy is a useful model. Read about intersectionality, hegemonic masculinity, toxic masculinity. Male privilege is still a thing but this is an example where male privilege ends up working against someone. neurotypical men cruise by. Neurodiverse men don’t but because they are men it is assumed they are like the neurotypical at the top. it’s more like 2 categories of men and one oppressed class of women. Reddit is those neurodiverse mostly so when you hear responses that is your source. It’s like the nerd to the jock or the comic relief to the protagonist

https://www.cfc.forces.gc.ca/259/290/23/286/Wilson.pdf p.32 I think has what patriarchy is referring to

MisterHousewife · 2023-03-01T05:59:34+00:00

It's because of the losers on this sub. They'll cry 'why won't people comfort me when i'm sad!?!?', while simultaneously ridiculing other men for showing emotion in public.

HerrMitzerschmidt · 2023-03-01T15:03:53+00:00

Men are caught between the patriarchy and modern feminism. The patriarchy is most of our problem. It funnels us into competition with other men, without much cooperation, and stifles our emotional understanding and empathetic nature, making us afraid of our true inner selves, and into lousy supporters of each other. At the same time, the patriarchy instructs women to be afraid of men, and coldly dependent and demanding of them. And then there’s feminism, which, when it’s geared toward empowering women, is great, but when it’s focused too much on women’s grievances, allows women to place blame exclusively on men, and maintain the moral high ground of righteous victimization. If they are too sold on the idea that men’s privileges are so great by comparison, and that they have no real privileges themselves, then they have little interest in knowing about our feelings. It’s an ugly place to be. Luckily for me, I have a wonderful wife who does care; but I don’t think most men have many safe and reliable emotional outlets. It’s truly refreshing to hear a woman sincerely ask. Thanks.

AdAcademic4290 · 2023-03-01T08:55:52+00:00

The only way to really break this horrible pattern, is to teach boys it's OK to cry, and it's ok to lean on otjers and girls that it's OK for boys to cry, and lean on them.

Little girls are still being taught by society and parents that they ( girls) are inherently emotionally weaker and emotionally more vulnerable than boys, but also that it's unacceptable for girls to show any anger, especially publicly, no matter how justified, or reasonably expressed.

And little boys are still being taught that the only 'acceptable ' emotions to display are anger, happiness, and , and that being emotionally vulnerable, visibly depressed, dejected upset or otherwise 'emotional is 'unacceptable '

As things stand, both genders therefore tend to vicariously experience and express these 'forbidden' emotions through the opposite gender, until these emotions become so repressed/ suppressed within the individual that they feel emotionally dead inside, or the emotions explode outward, creating an intensely unhealthy and destabilising relational and societal dynamic.

We are teaching children not only to appease bullies but that the bullies are right.

einsumzwei · 2023-03-01T23:51:17+00:00

Blame toxic masculinity not women!

Crpto_fanatic · 2023-03-01T18:30:01+00:00

Dam, being a dude can be a hassle. That’s why I date women.

Title	Why do men feel like no one care about how they feel?
Author	tofunmit
Upvotes	434
Comments	357
Date	March 1, 2023 2:29 AM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/11ernpp/why_do_men_feel_like_no_one_care_about_how_they/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/why-do-men-feel-like-no-one-care-about-how-they.1153992 https://theredarchive.com/post/1153992

Comments