If you as a 30 year old man can’t be friends with 18 year old guys you have no business dating 18 year old women

AceOfSpadesGymBro · 2023-09-26T12:45:30+00:00

What happens between two consenting adults and their cameraman is their business.

13choppedup2chopped · 2023-09-26T12:48:31+00:00

The age gap discourse is so weird.

Spiritual-Ad-271 · 2023-09-26T13:04:23+00:00

Honestly, this is actually a recommended tactic for older men who actively seek to date younger women. If you can befriend younger men and socialize in the same settings as they do, it validates you as someone within that social circle and any younger women in that circle will feel it's less creepy possibly engaging in a dynamic with you because you aren't seen as an outsider and you've been vetted so to speak by other men.

I'm not advocating this position, I'm just saying that it is something that people actually do.

Amiskon2 · 2023-09-26T13:02:47+00:00

I date whoever the fuck I can legally date, and you cannot do anything about that. Truth is that, outside of forums like this, most people do not care as much.

No, not even her father care about the guy being like 5 years older as long as he is not a loser, and so far men her age are most likely to be losers.

illusoryfindings · 2023-09-26T16:03:04+00:00

I see the point you're trying to make, but it doesn't make sense logically.

The qualities we look for in friends vs lovers are two different things. It's not like your woman is just a friend you happen to also have sex with. You don't think about her like you would one of the boys. Romance is distinctly different from friendship, you'll show her parts of you the boys will never see. And a young, inexperienced women being wowed by a competent, experienced man is a tale as old as time. It's so baked into us as people. In most relationships, the man is typically older than the woman.

In the case of super casual dating, it's usually a rich older man with a beautiful young woman... Both of them know exactly what they're doing. It's business.

Novel-Tip-7570 · 2023-09-26T13:05:47+00:00

While I agree that it's generally not wise to date someone who is so young , I believe that the dynamic you have with someone you date is often very different to the dynamic you have with your friends, so I am not sure about this argument.

Like for me personally, what I am looking for in a partner is quite different then what I am looking for in a friend. I want a partner who is a provider, hard working, loyal and a good father. I don't give a damn generally if my friends have these characteristics.

King-SAMO · 2023-09-26T13:38:53+00:00

I can imagine having a buddy who is only 18 years old. If I had a less accessible hobby, id be willing to engage with a kid who constantly needed me to explain the ‘90’s to them.

couldn’t fuck them, though; they don’t understand the 90’s well enough to be sexy.

FrodoCraggins · 2023-09-26T14:08:32+00:00

What if an 18 year old has no 18 year old friends? If he's only hanging around with men and women in their mid 20s and above like a lot of enlisted folks are? Is he allowed to date 18 year olds then?

Zabadoodude · 2023-09-26T15:21:53+00:00

Why can't a 30 year old be friends with an 18 year old? They usually aren't, just like most 30 year olds don't date 18 year olds, but if they want to, that's fine. People need to mind their business more when it comes to what other consenting adults do.

I'm in my 30's and my brother is 18. We're pretty close, so you could say we're friends. He's less experienced, but we actually have a fair bit in common. Some of you make it sound like 30 year olds only talk about taxes and how much better 00's music was, and 18 year olds only party and drink.

8won6 · 2023-09-26T18:40:06+00:00

"women mature faster than men"

"men dating younger women is weird"

KaptainBrix · 2023-09-26T13:10:19+00:00

That's a weird logic. First, a lot of relationships are purely sexual/casual so personality and compatibility is irrelevant, but even if it's relevant, it's two consenting adults they can do whatever the hell they want, even if they don't click

huolap8 · 2023-09-26T13:45:48+00:00

This discourse is only a thing online and it’s one of the dumbest most brought up topics. I thought we were past policing what two consenting adults do in the bedroom.

444oo · 2023-09-26T16:49:12+00:00

Well, most 18 y/o who date older men do it for the money/financial stability anyways. You think an 18 y/o is gonna date a 30 year old brokie?? Naah! Its more likely for an 18 y/o to date a 20 y/o brokie than a 30 y/o brokie.

So at the end of the day, they’re both taking advantage of each other. What’s the problem with that?

And I’m a woman btw

RahLyt · 2023-09-26T12:49:16+00:00

Lol I don't usually go for younger women (I'm on my late 20s) but you guys are convincing me to do it.

DopeAFjknotreally · 2023-09-26T15:46:27+00:00

Dudes who are 30 and want to date 18 year olds view women as sex objects and view relationships as a means to get sex and nothing else. No companionship, no close emotional/psychological connection, etc.

Those guys probably don’t realize this about themselves, but that’s what it is

harmonica2 · 2023-09-26T13:11:00+00:00

I'm dating a woman who is 16 years younger than me and I don't have any friends her age, but I don't think that's necessary I can still work.

Garfish16 · 2023-09-26T14:35:53+00:00

Why can't men in their thirties be friends with men who are 18? Sure they're going to be less mature on average but I've already got some friends with their last mature on average, lol.

But also what does this have to do with anything? I don't pick women using the same standards I pick friends. You say this makes logical sense to you but there is no logic here, it's a nonsequitter.

darkredpintobeans · 2023-09-26T13:45:39+00:00

It's not weird to have a varied aged group of friends. I like getting different perspectives on things, and having fun is for all ages tyvm. The only time in life when you're exclusively limited to interacting with only your age group is in school, and that's very artificial compared to the real world.

Also, why is this age gap thing so focused on older men with younger women? Women can date younger men, and it's fine because men have agency and women don't?

pop442 · 2023-09-26T17:28:57+00:00

Oh....ffs.....let consenting adults date who they want.

If the woman or man isn't being coerced or forced into the relationship, no one should care except for their immediate families.

Also, it's perfectly possible to date someone who belongs to a group that you don't regularly hang out with.

There's interracial couples where the White person doesn't have a lot of POC friends yet the relationship still works out.

banned4tellindtruth · 2023-09-26T18:06:35+00:00

If a man wants a younger woman and can find a consenting legal adult one, then that's his business.

People can huff and puff about it online, but the couple can ignore them.

gopher_glitz · 2023-09-26T12:55:28+00:00

Lol, people you hang out with and people you fuck aren't the same

HTML_Novice · 2023-09-26T12:45:50+00:00

I ain’t fucking the guys lol

statsfodder · 2023-09-26T21:28:05+00:00

Aawwww did he leave you for a younger model? Should have tired harder to keep him ...

SyrusDrake · 2023-09-26T14:26:06+00:00

I mean, I wouldn't want to date a girl that young. But I'm not sure the argument holds. Women tend to mature faster, just from a biological point of view. They're usually about 2 years or so "ahead" of men. There also tends to be some social pressure on them to act more "mature" at a younger age. So you can't really compare 18 year old women to 18 year old men.

Taicho_Gato · 2023-09-26T17:57:59+00:00

I'm a 30 year old man and I made friends with an 18 y/o and 20 y/o from the gym

Does that mean I have the gynocracy's blessing to fuck barely legal college girls at will? 🤔

Puzzleheaded_Pin4857 · 2023-09-26T21:48:01+00:00

Older men being shamed by older women for dating younger women. Normal

Young men turning into old women. Not so normal.

Commercial-Engineer3 · 2023-09-26T13:17:08+00:00

I'll be 32 in 3 months. I can easily pass for a 22 year old. If I decide at 32 to date an 18 year old woman, who are you to tell me otherwise.

Junior_Ad_3086 · 2023-09-26T14:38:34+00:00

i can be friends with younger dudes, i just prefer men around my own age. maybe not 18 year olds but i don't really date 18 year olds either.

you can't really compare friendships with romantic relationships when it comes to this. there are benefits and downsides to dating women of different age-brackets that don't apply to friends.

i don't care if my friends have baggage from past relationships, i don't care that they're less hot and i don't want to reproduce with my friends. however these things are pretty important in dating.

MassiveAd1026 · 2023-09-26T14:16:08+00:00

Women mature faster than men do. Your post doesn’t make any sense.

tadL · 2023-09-26T13:57:52+00:00

So I should have told the 18 year old that approached me to let me alone. Yeah nope. But interesting how you think.

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Nihi1986 · 2023-09-26T13:52:19+00:00

I have no interest on them but I don't get your theory...the 18 woman is hot and young, and likely funny. The 18yo guy is perhaps too inmature, so is she, but I wouldn't be dating her for her maturity, wisdom, cooking skills and knowledge about reforming the dinning room.

Btw, I'm 37 and friends with 18yo men (sons of my female friends), I can teach them some things and I absolutely beat them in any video game, I'm too childish myself 🙈

The truth about age gap relationships is that they are less likely to work long term, but if we are talking about a casual relationship, there's no reason for the old man to avoid young, really...no reason other than maybe social shaming. The younger woman, well...up to her. If she's looking for something casual then as long as she dates a decent person I don't think the age is a problem, though I don't see why would she date someone much older unless she wants his money or is mainly attracted to experienced people.

This is honestly not something you should be saying to men, this is something you should be telling to the young women.

obviousredflag · 2023-09-26T14:01:39+00:00

If you as a 30 year old man can’t be friends with 18 year old guys you have no business dating 18 year old women

Good thing i have an 18 yo male friend.

I don’t think there is anything wrong with age gaps per se, but if you think 18 year old men are immature and can’t be friends with them etc

Well, 18yo are not all the same. 99% are immature and obnoxious and i wouldn't want to have anything to do with men or women of that age, and the same goes for them when they think about and interact with me. It's rare that this age gap is no issue or even appreciated by both sides.

I have my largest issue with "dating". What does it mean? Romantically dating? Sure, then if you cannot find 18yo men who are tolerable for you, you probably shouldn't consider spending dates with 18yo women with the goal of finding a romantic relationship. If "dating" can also mean going on one casual date with the goal of having sex with the woman, then it becomes a tradeoff between what you are willing to endure and put up with, versus what you get from it.

synaps-bro · 2023-09-26T14:52:47+00:00

Why are men so wierd about age gap relationships and women weird about cheating

Blue_Robin_04 · 2023-09-26T15:03:59+00:00

I think most guys get along with each other regardless of age. Once again, adults are adults.

Sure-Vermicelli4369 · 2023-09-26T15:04:10+00:00

Most of my friends are younger, and I in fact do have a coworker with some shared interests who started with us as an intern while still in high school and has since graduated and been hired on full-time.

I don't have any desire to date 18 year old women though. I see where you were going with that but I don't think it's a great analogy.

Twinseo09 · 2023-09-26T15:31:07+00:00

Leaving-trunk · 2023-09-26T17:07:31+00:00

What if they are enthusiastically trying to hang out with you?

Laziestguy17 · 2023-09-26T17:39:30+00:00

Pff stop shaming men for their preferences Just stop it 18 year old is legally adult he can do whatever he wants quit whining

harmonica2 · 2023-09-27T00:10:25+00:00

When it comes to people being bothered by relationships with age gaps I'd it mostly women who are bothered by it or are a lot of en bothered by it as well?

Proudvow · 2023-09-27T00:25:21+00:00

But I wasn't friends with 18 year old dudes when I was 18 either.

AidsVictim · 2023-09-27T01:54:18+00:00

I've met some early 20 dudes I like and respect (I'm mid 30's). Sam Sulek is a good example of an early 21(?) year old whos intelligent, successful, and comes across as more mature than a fair amount of early 30 year old men.

But really this is just dancing around gender social dynamics and pretending it's all equivalent - men and women overlook social differences that might put them off being friends if they were the same gender but are fine in dating all the time. A younger woman being less mature is not the hurdle it might be in male-male friendship, a guy being less emotive and talkative is not a dealbreaker it might be for female-female friendships etc.

Claim_Intelligent · 2023-09-27T03:28:32+00:00

What?

Thal-creates · 2023-09-27T07:54:51+00:00

OP please comment on Madonna and her boyfriend

Zevemty · 2023-09-27T08:19:29+00:00

As a mid 30's man I have lots of male friends in the age range 18-21. Do I think they're a bit immature? Sure, but they're also fun to hang with.

Did you think this would be some sort of gotcha?

Objective_Ad_6265 · 2023-09-27T09:25:16+00:00

I agree. I have age difference thing and I also click in friendly way with people that age than people my age...

StrugglingRando · 2023-09-27T09:45:47+00:00

Stop telling consenting adults what they can or can't do.

FutureBannedAccount2 · 2023-09-27T11:41:47+00:00

How much did you actually think about this because you don’t provide anything to support the logic.

Fun fact: Friendships and Dating aren’t the same thing.

Also I’ve never head a single guy say they couldn’t be friends with another adult because of their age

Nellylocheadbean · 2023-09-27T12:32:33+00:00

What I’ve learned is that the traits that men value in women typically have to do with her having less experience. You’re more likely to have less experience at a younger age, simple math. If she has more experiences she’s more likely to prob compare him to her past experiences which can increase the likelihood of her leaving him. Idk if men value those some traits in younger men because they’re not concerned with him ending their friendship.

NIIICEU · 2023-09-27T15:22:30+00:00

People of all ages can be friends. When it comes, to platonic friendships, their is no limit on age gaps. There is nothing wrong with a 30 year old man or even an 80 year old man being friends with an 18 year old guy.

Den_the_God-King · 2023-09-28T11:41:15+00:00

When is was 18 I had a very social job just talking to everyone for hours in the gym all day, and gave people who liked most were all 10 to 20 years older than me… the best best funniest guy ever was nearly 50 and he came for like 2 hours a day everyday I was in shift. Now I’m 30, I’d definitely be friends with my 18 year old self, not sure if I could be with many 18 year olds though.

Title	If you as a 30 year old man can’t be friends with 18 year old guys you have no business dating 18 year old women
Author	AspiringMogger
Upvotes	21
Comments	219
Date	September 26, 2023 12:44 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/16smwt4/if_you_as_a_30_year_old_man_cant_be_friends_with/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/if-you-as-a-30-year-old-man-cant-be-friends-with.1233080 https://theredarchive.com/post/1233080

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