Do older men 35+ have trouble dating woman in their mid 20’s?

leosandlattes · 2024-04-17T19:58:25+00:00

The reason why it would be "difficult" is because most 35-40yo men are not in environments where they interact with 22-26yo women on a recurring basis, except for work and something like grad school. And entering new social circles is difficult for most people regardless of gender. In addition to that, female attraction generally scales with age -- so you'll find that women in their 20s prefer to date men in their 20s, but we aren't against dating older IF he's still attractive AND fun.

But if the conditions in your post are true, then there should be minimal difficulty via OLD or something, or if that man's social network already includes women in their 20s.

ToughingItOut82 · 2024-04-17T20:00:44+00:00

Guys who look like Henry cavill and Chris Evans do not have trouble getting with women, even if they are 35+.

You should save this post and look at it again when you are 35+ and have a good chuckle at yourself for asking this question. It’s like you think 35+ people are sexually irrelevant geezers and have to look like supermodels to get laid.

purplish_possum · 2024-04-17T20:09:19+00:00

28-eight-year old women date 32-year-old guys all the time.

22-year-old women seldom date 38-year-old guys.

See the difference.

enfantrebelle · 2024-04-17T22:10:18+00:00

If he's attractive and charismatic he'll have no issues attracting younger women, either for a LTR or just for fun. I've seen it multiple times. However there is a caveat : only a minority of young women like older men and they usually like the more "well-preserved" ones. Older men that have let themselves go are not going to be considered at all by those women.

Source: me and my peers.

thisdoesntworkyall · 2024-04-17T19:56:59+00:00

Most men do. Some men don't.

wtknight · 2024-04-17T20:45:24+00:00

A man this age would certainly not have any trouble dating women this age who live in poorer countries.

baiser_vole · 2024-04-17T20:44:38+00:00

35 is the male wall in the arranged marriage market or matchmaker market in Asia unless he is really extraordinary in some way like really good bucks with well taken care of looks. The female wall for that is 30. Desirable women with options tell the matchmakers what they are looking for and the age limit is almost always there, and same with desirable men.

NotUsedUsernameYet · 2024-04-17T21:44:03+00:00

Where would they even meet?

Online woman in her 20s will filter out guys 10+ years older for sure. In real life they are unlikely in the same circles.

Sillysheila · 2024-04-17T20:13:15+00:00

I think it’s generally much easier on the younger side of the scale because you look younger.

If you’re 35, and you do look good you might have a chance.

If you’re 45-90 though it’s going to be way harder to convince a younger woman that she should settle for your age and attractiveness.

I think a lot of women that age though would still prefer late 20s because they would also look younger than 35 year olds.

Lilrip1998 · 2024-04-17T19:49:49+00:00

Mid 20s is where age gaps stop being weird. You both likely are financially independent in your own respective careers.

Lift_and_Lurk · 2024-04-17T19:53:10+00:00

By mid 20s No one gives a crap. Your all both clearly adults and it becomes more “where you are and what your looking for”

januaryphilosopher · 2024-04-17T20:10:14+00:00

Yes. Women in their twenties generally greatly prefer dating their peers no matter how significantly older men may look, because it's not like looks are the only difference between different ages. And they always have baggage.

qwertyuduyu321 · 2024-04-17T23:00:01+00:00

Do older men 35+ have trouble dating woman in their mid 20’s?

I'll put it this way:

if you had troulbe dating women in their mid 20s when you yourself were in your 20s, you'll most likely find it even more difficult than back then to date women in that age bracket.

washington_breadstix · 2024-04-17T23:58:38+00:00

Judging by my own firsthand experience and what I've seen from others, I think mid-to-late 30s is a phase where it all depends on whether a guy looks like he could still plausibly be in his mid-to-late 20s. As you said, nice skin and full hair are the key physical properties (in addition to the obvious "staying in shape"). If there are visible signs that he's "worn out" his body at all, then that's going to be hard for him to compensate for. Hair loss is gonna be a death sentence unless he has a really masculine face.

As a guy who has stayed in decent shape (although certainly far from gym-bro level) with virtually zero skin damage and minimal hair loss, I would say attracting women has only been getting easier for me as I get older. But that is probably partly because I've become less anxious and more mellow in social situations and have come to expect less from each interaction, which somewhat paradoxically makes my vibe a bit more appealing to other people (including women) than it used to be. I'm 32 but am very frequently told that I look no older than 25. Within the last few months, women as young as 21 have shown interest in me, and telling them my real age did nothing to change the attention I got from them.

I was hanging out / flirting with a girl who was 21 and when we realized there was an 11-year age gap between us, she literally said verbatim "It's okay because you look a lot younger". Despite all this hemming and hawing about age gaps, when you get right down to it, people won't hesitate to admit that it's really all about physical appearance.

The biggest inhibitor of my dating life by far has been and remains my avoidant personality type.

Sharp_Engineering379 · 2024-04-17T20:07:42+00:00

They’ve been grossing me the fuck out since I was sixteen, and at 28, I still have no interest in men ten-fifteen years older and those men are not welcome in my social sphere.

statsfodder · 2024-04-17T20:55:55+00:00

I'm mid 40s and I have dated as far as mid 20s ...

I will concede though that I am an outlier due to the work I do. (And I've held my age pretty well so can pass for mid 30s)

Pryras · 2024-04-17T21:06:41+00:00

I’m 26 dating a 36 year old

alebruto · 2024-04-17T19:51:23+00:00

If he's as attractive as the ones you mentioned, he won't have any problems with it. But if he is ugly, he will be accused of being a predator and a pedophile.

Currentlycurious1 · 2024-04-17T20:00:56+00:00

Ummm, yes. I'm mid 30s, money to spare, hair on head, in good shape, tall, etc... Women, even in their 20s, are very particular with the personalities they're attracted to. If you're confident, non-inhibited, ambitious, etc.. you should be fine. Otherwise, even if you're in the top percentile of everything, you're fucked.

Legitimate_Type_1324 · 2024-04-17T19:47:15+00:00

I had no trouble with it. Ended up marrying one. Age gap has not been a factor so far.

Valuable-Marzipan761 · 2024-04-17T20:04:02+00:00

Well no, the small minority of men that are exceptionally good looking will probably have disproportionally high success rates in dating. You're assuming a lot of very rare things in this description.

Environmental_Day558 · 2024-04-17T20:15:01+00:00

If he didn't have trouble dating them in his mid 20s then he's not going to have trouble in the mid 30s.

I got a divorced friend that's like 34 who went out recently with a girl in grad school who's in her early-mid 20s. I was hanging with him in a coffee shop when he first chatted her up and got her number, it was routine and effortless for him. He's a good looking dude, extroverted and has a good career.

For myself I met my fiance on a dating app when I was 30 and she was 25, which is a pretty small gap so I wouldn't count that

grown_folks_talkin · 2024-04-17T20:47:58+00:00

For most single men I've known over 35, mid 20s is not the goal. I only hear about that here. The gap widens over time sure, I notice 47M-38F seems organic now, but at 35 it was more like 35M-29F

VasiliyZaitzev · 2024-04-17T22:12:41+00:00

So I’m in my mid 50s and I regularly date girls in their 20s. I am tall (6’1) and muscular, but not particularly conventionally handsome other than that. I have a high status job, a good income, but no woman my own age who I’ve dated has ever been disappointed that I’m a good earner. I do not advertise my income, but women are in general, quite good at smelling success.

I do not use dating apps per se, but literally every site is a dating site now.

What needs to be understood is that there is a relatively small group of women who are into older men, And usually that means 10 to 12 years older. Although some women will obviously go higher. My biggest age gap so far has been 36 years. The one before that was 33 years. Both women were in their early 20s.

If a man has strong Game, and knows what signs to look for he can pick out the women who will be into him. It’s no different than women your own age, except the group of women your own age who will be eligible for to be more numerous.

I am very skilled that identifying women who are into older guys, and my game is strong. Another thing that must be considered is that women will fuck older men, but they will not fuck old men. Also, to some extent it’s like being a short guy: everything else has to be on point, your physical fitness, your fashion, etc. I something like an 11 inch drop in a suit meaning that my chest is 11 inches bigger around than my waist (Most guys are a five or 6 inch drop.). So That means I have a pretty good V shape going on and there is no middle-age got hanging over my belt. That makes a big difference.

Ppdebatesomental · 2024-04-18T02:01:04+00:00

If you were extremely popular with 25 year old women when you were 25, you will still be popular with some, but fewer 25 year old women when you are 35.

Cethlinnstooth · 2024-04-18T06:03:49+00:00

Yes they do. Even well preserved 35 year olds look positively ancient to 22 year olds. Young people are exquisitely sensitive to signs of aging.

When I was a kid this song was in the charts.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tonight%27s_the_Night_(Gonna_Be_Alright)

It kept being played occasional on a local rock music tv show occasionally all through my teens and twenties.

https://youtu.be/IZr6AE-u2UM?si=hZUY3VoMKHReCHD4

I remember thinking in my teens and early twenties how goddamn ancient the then 31 year old Rod Stewart (who was regarded by older people as a sex symbol) looked and was horrified that anyone could find that sexy. Ewww. Ewww. No. Not sexy. Old. Ancient. Decrepit. What a repulsive gross video. Get rid of it. Disgusting. Burn it with fire.

free_as_a_tortoise · 2024-04-19T12:18:05+00:00

I'm 40 and have been dating my 23 year old girlfriend for a year. There aren't many girls in that age range who are thoughtful enough to enjoy my time with but a handful exist.

AreOut · 2024-04-17T19:54:17+00:00

the effort you need to date a 25yo woman is similar to the effort you need to date a 35yo woman, so if you don't have problems dating 35yo women you likely won't have problems dating 25yo women, although there are less of them that would want to date 35+ men but you will know straight away if she minds the age or not

Jazzlike_Worth_9908 · 2024-04-17T21:26:27+00:00

It's harder than at 25 but still doable. Dont expect it to get easier

pg_throwaway · 2024-04-17T19:54:21+00:00

My wife and are 11 years difference. I was 31 and she was 20 when we met. So I guess, from my experience, no trouble?

Safinated · 2024-04-17T20:18:29+00:00

Depends on the looks of both parties

TRTGymBro1 · 2024-04-17T20:29:43+00:00

I have women of all ages from 18 to 48+ hitting on me. I was just away at am event and was hit on by a 38 yo porn star and a 51 year old MILF. I'm 42. For a quality man, there is literally no limits.

SlowEffective8146 · 2024-04-17T22:48:05+00:00

My experience on online dating, although I'm not 35 yet (I'm close) has been pretty good. I have my preferences set from 23-29, and I've matched with some 23 years olds. Just for experimenting's sake I've set it lower and been able to match with as low as 18, but these girls can't hold a conversation for shit so I raised my age range back up.

I'm nowhere near as good looking as Henry Cavill or any of these celebs and I can do it.

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Dishonouronmycow2 · 2024-04-17T20:25:17+00:00

I like men in their mid thirties a lot, in my friendship group however they’re all with people around 3-4 years difference. If he’s an attractive guy I’m sure he’ll have no issues getting someone

mrcs84usn · 2024-04-17T20:57:45+00:00

My biggest age gap has been 11 years, which probably would have been alright if our life goals aligned more. Meeting them and getting their interest isn’t -too- terribly difficult, but it’s certainly harder than women closer to my age. IMO, being in decent shape, and having your shit together is a pretty high priority.

BenKremling · 2024-04-17T21:07:31+00:00

I don’t but I still have my hair and I haven’t aged much

RAZBUNARE761 · 2024-04-17T21:22:25+00:00

Depends on your looks/status/money

jianjiaxi1983 · 2024-04-17T23:54:39+00:00

I have more luck with women (20s to 30s) when I'm in my late 30s and at 40 than when I was in my 20s.

One word, confidence.

noonereadsthisstuff · 2024-04-17T23:59:25+00:00

Im 42 and I've never had a relationship with a woman over the age of 30.

I dont think Im anything special. Every guy I know who got a wife or girlfriend around my age is with a younger woman.

briefbrisket · 2024-04-18T00:48:55+00:00

I think it’s pretty common. I met my wife on bumble when she was 27 and I was 38. I went on many dates with women in the 24- 30 age range around that time from dating apps. Pretty sure all of the guys my age I knew who were on line dating were dating women in the same age ranges as well.

pg_throwaway · 2024-04-18T01:07:56+00:00

I don't think so, but I never used dating apps, always just meet people in person.

ktdotnova · 2024-04-18T01:08:22+00:00

No they wouldn't... they are white and are good enough looking to be movie stars. It would be a cakewalk for them. What kind of question is this.

Fun_Push7168 · 2024-04-18T01:23:00+00:00

Yes.

Fucking...not so much....dating..yes.

From both sides of the coin. There are so many awkward situations there for the guy if you wanted it to be a relationship.

pop442 · 2024-04-18T03:10:48+00:00

Depends on looks and status in all honesty.

Also, mid-20's women are more receptive of 30+ men than early 20's/late teens women.

Sabrepill · 2024-04-18T05:05:09+00:00

Depends on the guy. You can be over 40, bald and with sunspots and still get hot women of all ages including 20s: if you’re attractive enough. It’s also a numbers game, if only 1% of hot women like you but you interact with hundreds of women, you’ll have abundance.

Male attractiveness is a combination of looks, money, status, and charm. Some men are masters of generating attraction in women because they make them feel good while in their presence.

Women are emotional creatures, they fall for guys who make them “feel”.

Boring chads can lose female interest pretty quickly

mattelias44 · 2024-04-18T05:23:19+00:00

I just can’t even try. I’ll start talking to one in OLD, then I just stop because I feel creepy…

beingDino · 2024-04-18T05:37:17+00:00

Not at all

thetruthishere_ · 2024-04-18T06:16:10+00:00

Why do so many of you in this sub list complete outliers like its the norm?

Intrepid-Rip-2280 · 2024-04-18T06:49:50+00:00

It's easy to obtain, but hard to maintain. It feels like you're dating Eva AI sexting bot: too little common values, interests and topics to share

RespectHefty5063 · 2024-04-18T06:51:10+00:00

Women in their early 20s generally find the idea of dating someone who could have went to school with their dad gross. Older men 35+ shooting their shot with young women is nothing new, they did it when I was young too and to be honest most of them were laughed and joked about, called creeps and pervs etc. My husband is 8 years older than me, when we met I was 24 and he was 32 and that was close to my upper limit. I wouldn’t have dated anyone over 35 at that age. An age gap of 5 years or less is probably the ideal for most, 10 year or less is also acceptable. Any more than that and it might be more difficult so with that I think a man in his mid to late 30s shouldn’t have a problem with women in their mid to late 20s but may struggle more with the younger early 20s.

GummieLindsays · 2024-04-18T06:53:38+00:00

In my mid 20's I would have never dated a much older man. Mostly because I would feel the age gap made it harder to relate with each other on interests. And also because I was still developing as a person and would feel it would be wrong to have a romantic partner who most likely didn't view me as a mature adult woman (because I wasn't, I was still developing and learning about myself). When you're younger, it is very obvious how older people view you just by how you are treated.

discordantspectrum · 2024-04-18T07:56:47+00:00

I don’t use apps but I’m between 35-40 and no problem. But I have a good job and charisma and in my 20s I used game so you know, these things help. Also gym.. but everyone has baggage man. Some less than others but we all do 👍🏼

Mysterious-Floor-909 · 2024-04-18T08:43:25+00:00

It is not easy but it's possible. Good looking mid 20s woman are hard to get and hard to impress, but it is possible if you look decently, have your shit together and you are confident.

By comparison women in their 30s are suuuuper easy.

obviousredflag · 2024-04-18T10:01:28+00:00

You don't need to look anywhere close to Henry Cavill etc. to not have trouble dating mid 20s women as a 35+ man, if you look good for your age, are above average attractive and above average in other aspects of what women desire. Part of that surely is being experienced and confident.

For men answering: what was your experience like on dating apps ?

I joined dating apps the first time, after getting out of a long term relationship when i was 34 and dated for 1.5 years until i found my gf who was 22 at that time. Dating was a breeze and i quickly learned that i am attractive to mid and early 20s women, which wasn't clear to me, that this is an option, even though my last relationship was with a 9year age gap, that i thought was a freak accident, instead of a normal thing for me to happen. So i quickly went from dating ~29-32 yo women to 21-27 yo women. Had about 70 first dates in 1.5 years, with varying goals of casual sex or relationship interest, a situationship, a summer fling, and ~35 new sexual partners. I am 40 and in an open relationship now and started online dating again last year, setting my filter to 18-22 when i have capacity to wait some weeks for a promising match, or 18-25 when going on a date/having sex with a new woman is more important in the moment, than what i get out of going for even younger women but having to wait longer for a candidate. As always, casual sex frequency increases when you go down in attractiveness of your sex partners. So don't expect to match the hottest young women for casual sex, unless you are also among the hottest men on the app.

tHiShiTiStooPID · 2024-04-18T11:59:16+00:00

I got divorced when I was 44. Always stayed in shape, had lots of dating success prior to marriage. I was curious about dating apps. It had been 14 years since I last dated. Downloaded one. A week or so later I went on my first date. She was 24. And so it went from there. Now I am 52. My girlfriend/finace of 4 years is 37. She is beautiful by any standard. I look at her every day and wonder how in the hell she is with me. The answers I always come back to are basically; 1. I got lucky genetically and don’t show my age. Couple that with staying in shape and I look pretty much the same as I did 20 years ago. Better actually because I have money now and can afford to do the extras that make a pretty big difference. 2. Since I’ve been back into dating the consistent stories I hear about women’s experience with millennial men tell me that to a woman in that age group, somehow, I seem very masculine. Overtly so. When I was younger that wasn’t anything I was even aware of, but men have softened continually over the years, and it seems to have finally crossed a threshold that women notice instinctively, and I think that is a huge part of why gender relations are so screwed up now. Subject for another thread, but yeah, millennial men are the reason I can date women in that generation, evidently. Thanks guys!

gntlbastard · 2024-04-18T14:50:12+00:00

Depends on the crowd you run with. Richer you are the more availability you have of younger women. Actors and Celebs always have people who will place themselves in their vicinity in hopes that he will pick them.

shadowrangerfs · 2024-04-18T18:35:01+00:00

If they looked the same they could get some younger women. The money and fames makes it a LOT easier.

I'm sure a good looking guy in his 40s making six figures could get a woman in her mid to late 20s.

YouHateTheMost · 2024-04-18T20:28:59+00:00

Late to the party, but.

I was mid 20s a few years ago, and was approached by a number of men 40+. Without failure, every single one of them attempted to teach me about life and to manipulate the way I think, like claiming that their unpleasant behaviour towards me was justified, but I need to change the way I act towards them. Guilt tripping and gaslighting was off the charts. With men around my age, I felt the peer-to-peer dynamic; with men 15+ years older, it was more of a chief-subordinate one. Even back then, with little life experience, it felt off and I left those men behind.

hey-momo · 2024-04-21T07:40:42+00:00

it's about looks... i'd date Henry Cavill in a heartbeat, because he is gorgeous. but i've never seen a 35+ year old man outside hollywood who looks anywhere near that good, and probably Henry Cavill himself doesn't even look that good in real life without all the professionals making him over and costuming him. and even if his looks were real i would still have in mind that he is in the late stages of his beauty and its all rapid downhill from from here.

RubyDiscus · 2024-04-18T00:42:01+00:00

When I was 21-25 I refused to date men over 29.

Simply because there is no difference in them in terms of maturity and such, the only difference is men over 30 are just biologically older.

slimtrop · 2024-04-17T19:50:03+00:00

20 year olds love a good looking mid 30´s guy.

Busy-Register-3233 · 2024-04-17T20:07:54+00:00

Not quite 35 but my dating life is much easier in my 30s. I prefer to date younger women. The options aren't great in your 30s unfortunately.

You have to still take care of yourself and be attractive though. You can be extremely successful and purchase yourself a younger woman but I wouldn't want that. Many guys do that though.

AgeGapEnjoyer · 2024-04-17T20:20:09+00:00

Smart attractive women love older men. Why wouldn’t you like someone more mature, more traveled/accomplished/interesting, more disposable income? As long as you keep your hair, stay fit, and dress well, a 25 year old girl won’t give a shit if you’re 29 or 34.

Only women online rage about it for some reason? Probably because they’re aging out

Food_Gym_RealEstate · 2024-04-17T19:57:31+00:00

Depends on the man. Most men I know in that age range is either married to women around their age or they're dating early to mud 20s. There's very little in-between.

RedditAlt999 · 2024-04-17T20:43:29+00:00

I haven't seen an issue with it being a 36 year old guy.

Tobor_Xes240 · 2024-04-17T21:07:46+00:00

40M. 5’11. BMI of 23.9. Above-median comp plan in a high COL region of the US.

The inbound likes from sub-30 YO women on Hinge and Bumble come from morbidly obese chicks, generally with kids.

It’s that or somewhat fit, cougarish fifty-somethings. I swipe right on the latter, start a convo, and watch it peter out as Chad works his magic in another chat.

Women in my own demographic never match with me.

Rinse and repeat.

NomadicSifu · 2024-04-17T21:37:35+00:00

I’m mid 30’s, plenty of women are open to it. Stop with this one size fits all mentality.

I always love to ask women how old they have dated and how young. I’ve had women in their 20’s comfortably admit they have no problem dating(and have dated) someone was who 60+ and at the same time also younger than them as well. The heart wants what the heart wants

giveuporfindaway · 2024-04-18T00:41:23+00:00

Zero success, even in shit hole eastern europe. The pecking order for age-gap acceptance from women seems to be asia and then latin america. Eastern europe is swinging for the fences. Anyone doing this in America is above average looking.

thebestinthegamee · 2024-04-18T02:53:38+00:00

I’m 23F dating a 45M… He’s very successful and handsome so it clearly wasn’t hard for him. We met on hinge.

tadL · 2024-04-17T21:15:06+00:00

No had zero issues

Title	Do older men 35+ have trouble dating woman in their mid 20’s?
Author	Darth_Vade_er
Upvotes	16
Comments	179
Date	April 17, 2024 7:42 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1c6j4op/do_older_men_35_have_trouble_dating_woman_in/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/do-older-men-35-have-trouble-dating-woman-in-their.1515464 https://theredarchive.com/post/1515464

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