There are a few major complaints about dating apps and websites. One is they have skewed gender ratios with basically all of them majority male. Another is the lack of responses most men receive on them, even over long periods of time. A final one, relevant to my argument, is that men complain women rate them unfairly in terms of physical attractiveness. One piece of data shows that most men are rated as below average looking which isn't really possible.

However, in terms of messaging, women are actually somewhat more fair than men in terms of messaging. Men rated below average in terms of appearance still receive a reasonable amount of messages. A woman might think a man isn't exceptionally handsome but can look past that at his social status and personality. Men, on the other hand, devote much more time and attention to the most beautiful women. Historically, men were always able to leverage against a lack of good looks with things like personality and social status. Overall, all women do get somewhat more messages than men, but thats at least partially the result of the majority of people on dating apps being men.

I understand that men are probably somewhat more visual creatures than women and seem to put a very high premium on looks over personality and social status. I think men would be well served to start behaving slightly more like women on dating apps and maybe in real life and start approaching women you don't necessarily think of as super beautiful more.

Me recommendation for what both men and women should prioritize is.

Personality>looks>status

If a person has a good personality that almost certainly means they are mature adult and therefore responsible, respectful, determined, caring etc which will translate to a reasonable social status (ie they aren't an addict or unemployed or unreliable and have some goals).

None of this resolves the issues with the majority of dating app users being male. Nor does it mean there aren't some bizarre and frankly absurd preferences some women have. It also doesn't mean you should have no standards or not be true to who you are and what you like. But on some margin men should really be more responsive to women who they might not think are the most beautiful.