This subreddit seems to think women must choose between horny sociopaths and asexual men.

Fancy-Statistician82 · 2025-01-03T17:31:49+00:00

This thread is so wild to read. In no way do I think that many, let alone most men are like these extremes.

Men are humans, who may like things like ripe bananas, or a touch of vanilla in their waffle mix, who prefer to sleep with socks on or don't. Men sometimes want sex, and some of them relieve that urge to unload alone and some seek contact with women or other men. Some men like their earlobes nibbled and some don't. It's crazy to me to think that any large number of them are sociopaths.

I've met so many men earlier in my dating life that really craved cuddling and basic human contact. Like, they wouldn't have likely turned me away from touching their dick but basic affection was still important.

Not to be creepy, but as my kids become teenagers I think a bit about demonstrating healthy basic affection. My 14 year old son, when he comes home from school will often as he zooms past me lean his face on my shoulder in a limited hug, and it's very dear and I hope it's an indicator that he will feel comfortable being affectionate with his partner some day. I like to walk hand in hand, arm in arm with my teens partly because I love them and enjoy it, but also because I hope for them to feel comfy with easy physical affection with their loves when they grow up.

Yes, as a basic function of maintaining penis health, they need to unload, and they'd prefer to do it with a partner. Women get horny too. It's ok to admit all this and still treat each other like rational, reasonable, ethical, thinking individuals.

SoooDisappointed · 2025-01-04T00:33:12+00:00

Lilith, some of us simply will NOT eat ze bugs. But no, you don't have to do anything. If you don't wanna risk, don't risk. Me and other men aren't going to risk things like foodie calls and sexless relationships either. You defend yourself, we defend ourselves.

John_Oakman · 2025-01-03T16:06:13+00:00

The precautions against the horrors of nice guys has reached to such an extent that previously normal behaviors and now seen as ulterior motives. Thus once all the vast majority of males are filtered out by those metrics the only ones left are those with extreme long term ulterior motives and those who have rejected the social compact entirely.

WanabeInflatable · 2025-01-03T14:46:43+00:00

Although men are not asexual from get go, they develop asexuality as a useful adaptation to the new normal.

Being horny is a strictly negative feature.

If you are single it makes you miserable.

If you are in relationships, being high libido makes you easy to manipulate in case of arguments.

Jerks who don't want to go in that direction develop predatory strategies of playing and manipulating women.

So men being either asexual or jerks is not something biologically determined, but a result of social conditions. Men may be neither jerk, nor ace in the beginning. But in the end they converge to one of these end-points.

Downtown_Cat_1745 · 2025-01-03T13:12:46+00:00

I think some of it comes from a toxic-masculine view that anyone needing love and emotional closeness is weak and feminine. It’s why manosphere influencers sell socially awkward boys on the idea of the sigma male. They aren’t failing to make friends, you see, they’re just strong lone wolves who don’t need anything from anyone.

These guys understand wanting sexual gratification, but they assume that emotionally intimate relationships are at men’s expense.

We also have the triple paradox that you mentioned of them demanding a woman who is 1. Virginal, 2. Immediately sexually available, and 3. Not demanding any sort of commitment. This is a pornographic fantasy and holds no benefit for women, especially if they buy into the idea that their value diminishes when they have sex.

Clean-Luck6428 · 2025-01-03T18:43:00+00:00

You get what you give. If your sexuality itself is not social, communicative and reciprocal then you won’t get a man with the same sexuality.

Compatible sexual energy is a dance. And probably like a tango out of all the dances. More and more women don’t want to dance a dance and men are tired of extending a hand and not getting a response. I’ve been with HL women who don’t like dancing a dance and just want the D when they want it.

There’s a phenomenon where sexually inexperienced men come off as weirdos because they only have weird step mom porn as a reference. And I also have female friends who assume men who swipe on their bikini photos on hinge just want sex. So combine the fact that women are hyper vigilant and inexperienced men have kinks women that give women the ick then you get mutual avoidance.

Sharp_Engineering379 · 2025-01-03T18:21:42+00:00

I don’t know how else we’re supposed to read men who express disgust with sexuality and men who are certain that women should just settle for men they aren’t attracted to in favor of men they do not find sexually desirable other than “asexual”.

The aversion to sex and the disgust with female sexuality can’t all be due to religious indoctrination, some are surely on the asexuality spectrum or closeted.

Parrotsandarmadillos · 2025-01-03T13:45:26+00:00

Wtf is a horny sociopath??

Substantial_Video560 · 2025-01-03T12:51:34+00:00

As an aromantic asexual I would prefer not to be chosen

LillthOfBabylon · 2025-01-03T13:25:34+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Left-Ad3578 · 2025-01-04T03:32:56+00:00

“Men are quite capable of desiring sex AND caring for women they love without being incentivized by sex. Men are capable of seeing sex as mutual fun and mutual bonding, not as a way to feel validated just to discard (or ‘merely tolerate’) the women who validate them. “

This needs to be posted and reiterated all over PPD.

OtPayOkerSmay · 2025-01-03T16:36:44+00:00

It's not that women must, it's that women do. It's a voluntary thing. Nobody is prescribing this behaviour.

When "having fun," the sociopath is the most exciting temporary partner; and when settling down, the asexual is the most appealing if she's "no longer a sexual person"

balsag43 · 2025-01-03T17:49:57+00:00

wait were you not the person who doesn't know the difference between platonic and romantic relationships?

if that is the case why not just advocate for women or anyone really to only have platonic relationships if they are the romantic type?

no chance to get pumped and dumped that way, unless you fuck people platonically i guess.

mashedturnip · 2025-01-04T03:11:03+00:00

Naw, it’s just a lack of debating skills and weak arguments. This leads people to exaggerate in the absence of reasoning or evidence

WillyDonDilly69 · 2025-01-03T13:02:08+00:00

What are you doing so special that a guy can appreciate even beyond 3 dates. What, are you paying for any of the dates or take risks that you may overpay, are you protecting the guy in case something happens (for example on a date, a random dog attacked us, she got scared and went behind me, i didn't react much but i kicked the dog in the face and the dog fucked off, she was thankful but i have to live with the fact that if i reacted like her she would have broken up with me), are you leading the conversation, are you funny or making jokes, do you ever try to escalte things or the one to initiate kissing your partner and so on. Even when she choses a place to grab a drink i still have to lead what happens next because she has no idea.

Even before the date happens a thing that is not appreciated is the fact that if i didn't approach a woman nothing would have ever happened, which is not stress free.

Like you genuinely have an obsession of just existing, being yourself, not risk anything and think that is justified that a man has to risk time, stress, energy and money to be with you.

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Artistic_Speech_1965 · 2025-01-03T18:33:27+00:00

Unfortunately the loudest aren't the wisest, but internet works in this way (indeed Tiktok is not a university of ideas)

Any-Remove-4032 · 2025-01-03T19:46:51+00:00

This subreddit also gets posts with hundreds of comments as if someone is actually gonna read through each one.

The point is, taking anything on this sub seriously is ridiculous in itself 🤣

Patrickstarho · 2025-01-04T20:47:37+00:00

The issue is women don’t understand this because they don’t understand men the way men do.

Snoo71180 · 2025-01-05T06:00:01+00:00

I don't see one positive attribute that the male sex has overall according to this post which isn't relative to any pill debate in my opinion.

Even the title alone is patently false because a man wanting to be intimate with a woman does NOT make him a horny sociopath? That's normal in the dating world at the right time, but if you want him to be so respectful and patient that he waits however long you deem appropriate that's not a recipe for any long term chemistry or attraction it's abnormal (barring religious reasons).

Stating that "Guys who perpetuate negative stereotypes of male sexuality and then project that onto all men" which is asinine. All men don't deserve do be belittled so focus comments and anger on specific men (i.e. guys trying to get laid too fast for someones liking) not men in general. These are going from what should be rational debates to misandry at length. It's not just a few random comments either it's grown to essays & lists that have gone beyond being civil for sure.

The community is supposed to be dates that are neutral not what have clearly become disparaging remarks and demeaning references about all "men" as I've read dozens of times at this point

desiringyouall8 · 2025-01-05T09:23:14+00:00

Don't forget the fourth option: men can be asexual sociopaths too.

RoseyButterflies · 2025-01-03T16:39:07+00:00

Ok basically all men are horny and porn sick.

The difference is between those that feel personally entitled to sex just because they have a date or a few and those who do not have an entitlement complex 😂🤔

HOLYREGIME · 2025-01-03T18:45:31+00:00

The “with you” is left out. Women believe they will attain top men who want sex and highly desire them. This is simply not the case. Top men are capable just not “with you”.

If women dated and slept in their own league you would have a point, but many women do not so they have to face the harsh reality that they will be lied to, manipulated and used for sex. Situationships are used to quell being discarded so quick. She at least has the fantasy of being cared for, but it always turns sour in the end. He will eventually find his wife and most of these women trying to date up will not be successful.

Harsh truth.

Klutzy_Charge9130 · 2025-01-03T17:02:45+00:00

I think you should say that one part louder. The part about how men are allowed to desire sex without being horny sociopaths. I think this is a core misunderstanding by both sides.

Throw_r_a_2021 · 2025-01-03T13:15:54+00:00

this subreddit hates single moms for fucking guys who later on abandon her……but then this subreddit also believes in financial abortion and how child support is a scam.

These things aren’t hypocritical ideas to hold at the same time. It’s perfectly reasonable to be critical of a woman who chooses to keep a pregnancy that resulted from an uncommitted relationship while also being an advocate for equal rights for men. Access to abortion allows women the right to decide if they wish to become a parent far beyond the point that men are allowed that choice. Men and women should have equal rights, including an equal right to decide if they wish to become the parent to a child.

SlyStocks · 2025-01-03T18:53:58+00:00

I simply think women like tall guys with firm, visible jawlines and hunter eyes. But maybe that’s just me.

Hi-Road · 2025-01-03T19:30:37+00:00

There are women with kids that haven’t been on a single date in their life

HereToShowOff123 · 2025-01-05T05:33:59+00:00

where if a woman wants to be respected and not be relationship-baited

This is such an idiotic sentence. What the fuck kind of nonsense is "relationship-baited"? How do you "relationship-bait" someone? This reads like such entitled pissbaby whining. The same women who complain about men talking about "the friendzone" will turn around and say dumb shit like "relationship-baited". Incredible.

catdog8020 · 2025-01-03T19:03:15+00:00

Its always funny the perfect guy is one who is asexual, has low testosterone and erectile dysfunction - karma for woman when they get into relationships with these guys. They want a guy who values them as a human being and a person but when they get the asexual eunuch Superman chad he has erectile dysfunction and/or sexual difficulties or no sex drive.

Seriously, can we just please legalize prostitution in the USA. Lmao 🤣. This is insane for men to navigate with these insane nuances from women. Women can have men as prostitutes or cuttle companions and men can have sex with real women who actually want them. Soooo damn confusing.

Title	This subreddit seems to think women must choose between horny sociopaths and asexual men.
Author	LillthOfBabylon
Upvotes	70
Comments	290
Date	January 3, 2025 12:42 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1hslmul/this_subreddit_seems_to_think_women_must_choose/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/this-subreddit-seems-to-think-women-must-choose.1540237 https://theredarchive.com/post/1540237

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