Why do women feel single childless men are obligated to date single-moms???

TheAvocadoSlayer · 2025-02-27T18:18:04+00:00

Absolutely nobody is obligated to date single moms or single fathers. All your reasons are perfectly valid. I’m married but if I wasn’t, I would never date a single dad. Why? I don’t want any kids.

I wonder if your roommates mother is a single mom or if it’s common in her family because it definitely seems like she took it too personally.

MissJeje · 2025-02-27T18:02:55+00:00

No one’s obligated to date anyone

Careymarie17 · 2025-02-27T23:38:16+00:00

I personally wouldn’t date a single father. I’ve heard both single mothers and fathers bitch that people won’t date them but being a parent is a whole other lifestyle that many don’t relate to or want to get involved with. And honestly many of them expect some responsibility from you, financially or literally parenting/babysitting them. I’m Not going to risk it, Ain’t gonna happen.

Outrageous-Laugh1363 · 2025-02-27T17:57:40+00:00

Your roommate isn't women. She is a woman. I don't agree with her, because surprisingly we don't all think the same.

JustGeminiThings · 2025-02-27T18:08:20+00:00

The thing about talking about preferences is how it comes across. Discussing people in a way that comes across as loud, rude, unnecessary or irrelevant makes the preference look bad. I don't know what happened in this convo, but in many other conversations it's this dynamic that causes people to be insulted and think poorly of the person stating their preference. Also, know your audience. I have preferences too - and no one except a matchmaker needs to concern themselves about them.

ACE_Overlord · 2025-02-27T20:24:56+00:00

No one's obligated to date anyone but once you get to a certain age most people have kids. The women who don't usually dont because they actively chose not to while the men who don't typically are men who couldn't because they are unattractive. Not to say he shouldn't try for women without children. Just he's going to really struggle

EulenWatcher · 2025-02-27T18:15:01+00:00

You should have asked the women you were talking with. I don’t think that people are obliged to date anyone, with the exception of their spouse that they’ve chosen and claim to love, but even then it’s more about having this desire to keep romancing them and less about obligation kind of responsibility.

ThatBitchA · 2025-02-27T18:37:04+00:00

Why do you think that your female roommate is the authority on all women? Why do you think your female roommate feels the same as all women?

Honestly, I don't care who people date.

I do think it's weird to insult single moms as a whole and to treat them as if they are less than. Your female roommate might have been offended by the insulting of single moms vs feeling like men are obligated to date single moms.

But the whole discourse around single moms is really fucking disgusting.

Flightlessbirbz · 2025-02-27T17:58:55+00:00

Personally, I do not think anyone is obligated to date someone with kids, and if you’re unsure… don’t do it. I say this as a step parent. It’s rough, and while I love my husband and stepdaughter and don’t regret it, I can’t say I’d choose to date a parent again if anything ever happened (unless the kids were grown).

Now, why do some single moms act this way? Same reason some men act as though women are wrong for not dating them because of things like their looks, income, or social skills. People don’t like rejection and will sometimes lash out because of it.

PracticalControl2179 · 2025-02-27T19:30:32+00:00

You aren’t obligated to date anyone. Why are you applying your roommate to all women? You had a singular experience with a roommate and then you apply it to all women.

Also, why are you discussing this with your roommates? What exactly did you say? There’s a huge difference between “I don’t want to date anyone with kids” and “single moms are all failures who got pregnant with hot chads and deserve to die alone for not picking mid men”

ACE_Overlord · 2025-02-27T18:20:51+00:00

They aren't. I don't know any women who think that they are. To be honest, I think single dads and single moms should date each other, because then there is a shared level of understanding.

Traditional_Lab1192 · 2025-02-27T19:54:49+00:00

Women don’t think this. I don’t agree with men who bash single moms for no reason and try to make them feel like they’re lesser than, but most women don’t think that men are obligated to date anyone. It sounds like your roommate has her personal reasons for why she feels that way. Why don’t you ask her this instead of us? She’s the one who said this to you.

Personally, I wouldn’t date a single dad either. I don’t want kids right now.

SayuriKitsune · 2025-02-27T17:53:09+00:00

I don't, I wouldn't EVER date a single dad.

ATasteofTx214 · 2025-02-27T18:14:32+00:00

I've never heard of a single mom express anything remotely like that. Most single mom's only want men that r enthusiastically willing to steparent; otherwise, it's a disaster waiting to happen. Quite honestly, whether a man has kids or not has never factored into my dating criteria, I wanted a big family, the more the merrier, my partners have always been the same.

oppositegeneva · 2025-02-27T18:18:21+00:00

They don’t. I know a lot of women who wouldn’t date a single dad and a lot of men who wouldn’t date a single mom.

More power to ya for knowing what you want honestly. Being a step parent is really hard and if you’re not up to the challenge you shouldn’t ever force it.

bluepvtstorm · 2025-02-27T18:24:34+00:00

I tell all single people never date single parents. You are seen as a resource to them. I would never do it.

S0yslut · 2025-02-27T20:50:22+00:00

If I were a single mom I’d rather be rejected upfront by men who weren’t excited about my kids. That’s more honorable than leading someone on when you know you won’t fit into their lifestyle. If someone has a problem with it they are offended because they are thinking of their own desires instead of what’s best for their kids… Because what’s best for your kids isn’t being with a man who has no desire to raise children…

bluehorserunning · 2025-02-27T18:47:17+00:00

Most of us don’t. Likewise, we don’t feel like single childless women are obligated to date single dads.

ConanTheCybrarian · 2025-02-27T18:00:34+00:00

I stated to the 1 female roommate that I don't date SMs. She went into a tirade trying to bully me into changing my mind. I calmly explained all my logical reasoning. She got angry and stormed off refusing to talk to me for the rest of the night.

this sounds very made up but assuming "the" female truly reacted this way and it was 100% related to your opinion on dating (not other issues between you two) that sounds like a unique situation solely with "the" female roommate.

how and why do you expect us to explain the perspective of this one woman you know instead of asking her directly?

99% of women do not think you should be forced to date a single mom.

what we do think is:

you don't need to be a dick about SMs. Just quietly choose not to date them and move on with your life. No need to announce how disgusting you find them.
iff you are constantly complaining about being single, wanting to be in a relationship, wanting a family etc. and SMs are interested in dating you: either date them so you can have everything you claim to want or shut up about being single because you have options but are choosing not to pursue them

hope this helps.

Mentathiel · 2025-02-27T21:59:41+00:00

I've only ever heard women defend single moms from being slut shamed, told their kids need a dad, that they should get off of welfare and do something, etc. etc. I've never heard a woman say you must date single moms, just that you must respect them as human beings.

If what you said about single moms was simply that you prefer not to date them as you're not ready for kids, you don't want that complicating the relationship and making her unavailable, or you don't want children at all, that's perfectly reasonable imo.

If you said something more derogatory and that doesn't sound like personal preference, but complete condemnation and opinion that nobody should date them, then that is obviously offensive.

If your roommate flew off the handle just bc you expressed a personal preference, she has issues. Maybe raised by a single mom or has a close friend or somebody in her mind who she feels like she's defending. Either way, she's way out of line.

Unique_Mind2033 · 2025-02-28T02:11:22+00:00

maybe the way that you talked about single moms was disrespectful, in tone. or she had known single mothers growing up and respect them a lot as individuals, not just a demographic. I don't know any who believe that single childless men are obligated to date them. not one.

FearlessSea4270 · 2025-02-27T18:29:24+00:00

No one is obligated to date anyone. Period.

I could maybe see some reasoning if you’re a man of a certain age and wanting to date women of said age and also wanting to still start a family. Like from a logistics point that doesn’t leave you with a ton of options. But still that man’s totally free and valid to not date single moms.

ChadChasingBReturns · 2025-02-27T18:57:15+00:00

Most women don’t feel this way. Most childless women would never date a single dad either.

2025-02-27T22:07:45+00:00

We don't. SOME women might.

Same as men thinking all women are obligated to marry some dude and provide wifely duties for him. We aren't obligated to marry.

None of us are obligated to date or marry at all.

ZoneLow6872 · 2025-02-27T22:18:27+00:00

All women don't think with 1 mind. We don't all feel like your roommate. Date who you want. 🤷‍♀️

SwimmingTheme3736 · 2025-02-28T06:08:24+00:00

I have never heard any woman say that. In fact in my experience women tend to shout the loudest that no one is obligated to date anyone.

Stunning-Brief-7244 · 2025-03-02T12:20:44+00:00

I’m a single mum and I don’t even see why a man would want to which is why I’m not looking. I wouldn’t want to be with someone who wasn’t really up for my baggage and to have that around my kids. And if I was a man I wouldn’t be up for it. So here I am accepting what is and getting on with it.

I agree with you is my point.

It’s nice that there are men who are up for it and there’s cases of that working out and bringing a lot of benefit to people’s lives. But it’s not for everyone and trying to push unwilling parties into it just sounds like a recipe for resentment and eventual disaster.

Competitive_Lion_260 · 2025-02-27T18:05:35+00:00

Women don't think that at all.

Crafty_Note397 · 2025-02-27T18:04:20+00:00

I would never date a single dad

DenverKim · 2025-02-27T19:11:46+00:00

Don’t worry, for every one of these women, there’s also a single dad expecting a child-free woman to jump at the opportunity to date him and become his free babysitter.

Poor_Olive_Snook · 2025-02-27T18:17:10+00:00

Dude we are not a monolith

AnonPinkLady · 2025-02-27T18:34:46+00:00

I personally do not feel this way tbh... I think it's crucial that everyone have the freedom of choice to only choose the relationship they want as long both parties consent and agree to the terms without any coercion or manipulation. I just think no one should go around throwing fits about how others don't suit their wants or standards. If he is chiildfree and does not want to date a single mother that's completely fine. I just don't care for the chronc vitreole and seething hatred some people feel the need to express about it.

RedstarHeineken1 · 2025-02-27T19:01:33+00:00

They don’t.

ManufacturerFine2454 · 2025-02-28T01:46:47+00:00

I would never date a guy who has kids, so I feel you!

abrazenbeauty · 2025-02-28T04:55:22+00:00

It would be interesting to see the correlation between men who are adamant about not dating single moms who later divorce their wives and leave them to be single moms. Something tells me it's an embarrassing data point.

Also, there are plenty of men who not only enjoy dating women for who they are (including if they're already mothers), but also have no problem blending families or expanding the family she's already started.

Date who you want but similar to the preferences conversation if your preference is more about spewing hate for what you don't want vs focusing on what you want then that's where people take issue. It's like the guy who says he likes fit women, but spends the entire time bashing overweight women. Preferences are about what you WANT. You shouldn't have to put people down to get your point across.

_weedkiller_ · 2025-02-28T10:39:30+00:00

I don’t think women believe this. I’d be interested in what exactly you said as it’s probable you said something highly offensive (in a calm tone).

I haven’t encountered single mums feeling entitled to someone’s affections, but I have encountered very lonely, very horny single mums who are upset by how difficult dating is. But they’re not necessarily pissed at the men for refusing to sleep with them, they’re pissed with the man that duped them in yo starting a relationship and turned out to be someone else. They feel they were entitled to honesty and companionship from the person who fathered their child, and they’re angry at that. Not at the men who don’t want to date single mothers.

It is unfair in that being a single father is much less of an impediment to dating than being a single mother is. B

Sophiatab · 2025-02-28T14:29:56+00:00

No one is obligated to date anyone. However, men, especially low tier men, who constantly complain about being lonely and then refuse to partner with women who would accept them deserve scorn. They need to either wife up or shut up.

MiddleZealousideal89 · 2025-02-27T18:31:08+00:00

I don't think anyone has an obligation to date anyone else. You shouldn't date single parents if that's not your jam. That being said, a lot of men don't just say they don't want to date single moms, they launch into long screeds about how awful these women are*, that's a bit unnecessary and makes the guy seem like a giant tool.

*not saying OP said such things in the discussion with his roommates

-Blatherskite · 2025-02-27T18:00:28+00:00

I'd imagine most women don't think single childless men are obligated to date single moms. Most women, especially those with children, are aware of the statistics. It is not safe to date childless men since they are way too frequently just trying to sexually abuse the children. So, lots of women will not date when the children are young simply because they want to protect said children.

If my husband ever died, I'd only date a single dad who had a very amicable relationship with his ex. Like they still do the kids birthdays together. They don't fight. No drama, etc. Even then, he'd not be allowed around my son alone for an extremely long time, at least until my kid would understand and could verbalize inappropriate behavior.

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Makuta_Servaela · 2025-02-27T18:25:58+00:00

Beyond the points that everyone else buried you under regarding you erroneously making this a "women" thing, I can see a parent being worried that step siblings may not treat his/her kids well, or about if the new relationship doesn't work out, the pain of separating his/her kids from their new step parent and their new step siblings.

meangingersnap · 2025-02-27T18:58:37+00:00

They don't. Most women don't want to date a single dad either.

Outside_Memory5703 · 2025-02-27T19:10:42+00:00

She took it personally, because of her personal experience

We are not a woman hivemind

attendquoi · 2025-02-27T19:22:06+00:00

No one is obligated to date anyone.

No-Past7721 · 2025-02-27T21:53:04+00:00

I don't know any woman who thinks anyone is obligated to date?

What I do know is women who would like people to shut the fuck up about how hard it is to get a date if they also happen to be categorically removing large swathes of the dating population from consideration. It's not hard to get a date you're just picky...which is absolutely fine so long as you take responsibility for the consequences.

twilightlatte · 2025-02-28T22:25:36+00:00

they don’t. The fact that they continue to find suitors does not make those suitors forced, nor does it make the women entitled. If you’re bagging people with your existing standards, it means they aren’t too high.

DesiCodeSerpent · 2025-02-28T23:53:17+00:00

Dating should never be an obligation. If people force you, stay away from them. They seem toxic.

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RinoaRita · 2025-02-27T18:41:54+00:00

Yeah no logical single mom would want anything but someone enthusiastically dates her. Kids definitely become more complicated especially if they’re small enough to potentially see the guy as a dad figure. If you’re trying to get a serious relationship and you’re not all about kids it’s better for all parties involved that you’re not interested.

I think it’s be different if the kids were older like teens and definitely if they’re adults and out the house

Title	Why do women feel single childless men are obligated to date single-moms???
Author	ACE_Overlord
Upvotes	161
Comments	316
Date	February 27, 2025 5:50 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1izlswr/why_do_women_feel_single_childless_men_are/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/why-do-women-feel-single-childless-men-are.1545134 https://theredarchive.com/post/1545134

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