The red pill is delusional about single mom dating options

Superannuated_punk · 2025-12-31T06:57:38+00:00

Terp revenge fantasies aside, a lot of single mums do find it harder to find men to date.

Not impossible. Just harder.

Some men are more than happy to take on the role of stepdad, but many aren't - particularly to young kids, or in situations where there's a lot of baby daddy drama.

I think it's foolish to assume that your dating life will be plain sailing as a single mum, but it's far from over.

Vadoff · 2025-12-31T11:25:51+00:00

Single moms can still date, but their prospects will shrink considerably compared to before they were single moms. Same for single dads.

People generally want to date people without kids already.

Youngrazzy · 2025-12-31T19:01:21+00:00

Single mothers can’t demand what they use to could demand. People need to understand that the red pill is not going to talk about the exceptions to the rule

WanabeInflatable · 2025-12-31T06:56:35+00:00

Of course single moms can still date and remarry.

But their pool of options is smaller than of women without kids (with similar looks and other conditions)

Besides that single moms have to dedicate a lot of time to children and have less time for dating

ThanosSnapsSlimJims · 2025-12-31T15:05:02+00:00

It's hard to word this correctly, but I'll take a shot at it.

With single parents, their number one priority is their kids. The second is themselves, then their job. By the time someone else tries to get involved in their life, they're already starting so low on the ladder that they're setting themselves up for a miserable life.

TrumpFucksKidz · 2025-12-31T09:19:14+00:00

There's this revenge fantasy about single moms struggling to find decent men.

It isn't a "revenge fantasy". It's a very real complaint from their own mouths.

I disagree, single moms can find men

Sure. It happens a lot.

men who are relatively well-off (in comparison to the woman)

That's not a high bar considering that most single moms exist below the poverty line.

and are willing to financially invest in her kids.

Again, it happens. RP says that it shouldn't, and that any man who willingly does is cheating himself.

But it happens.

I've seen it happening with my own eyes multiple times.

Your limited personal experience isn't data.

Many times men will even settle for being the childless stepdad just to have access to a family.

And we say that those men are fools.

The only women who struggle are those who sabotage themselves for a variety of reasons.

Like...having kids?

This whole thing reads as single mother cope. When you're done demolishing this strawman, let us know.

r2k398 · 2025-12-31T13:02:56+00:00

It’s not impossible but I’d say that there are a whole lot more single moms who cannot find a decent guy willing to be the childless stepdad willing to financially invest in her kids than ones who can. I’d also say the same is true for single dads.

Substantial_Video560 · 2025-12-31T17:26:33+00:00

Dating apps are full of single mums. I would say they easily outnumber those without. What is all this saying to you?

Blacktransjanny · 2025-12-31T14:59:54+00:00

Single moms <25 are absolutely going to flail in the dating market looking for men their age, especially those men who are destined for those high earning 6 figure jobs. Those men want to build their own lives, not pick up someone else's mistakes or issues and the dating pool is PLENTIFUL of high quality potential partners for those men.

Single moms >35 are going to need to look at single fathers but by that age most people who wanted kids will already have some/all that they want and are more understanding that the dating pool will be full of similar people. She's still going to struggle getting that high earning man but she can get a man who has done well for himself provided she'll look after his kids as well.

Asleep-Pin-5664 · 2025-12-31T19:44:43+00:00

I think it’s not that they can’t find people but that their dating marketability is a lot lower because a lot of guys don’t want to date them.

Guys I see dating single moms are ALL doing better than they would be if the woman didn’t have kids. I think women are more pragmatic when they lower dating marketability.

I don’t date single moms as a general rule, but I’d probably break the rule if she were intoxicatingly attractive and down to earth.

This reasoning doesn’t apply to low SES people

statsfodder · 2025-12-31T07:09:14+00:00

Yes, you are correct, many men will simp out just for a crumb of pussy. What revelation is next? Did you know that water is wet??

WhiterTruffle · 2025-12-31T08:39:38+00:00

Many times men will even settle for being the childless stepdad just to have access to a family.

Some times. Also many of us don't really have much empathy for those kinds of guys.

I know a single mom who married at 20, divorced at 30, and is now trying to live with a guy two years younger than her with 3 children. He's barely a man himself, and the kids have to watch their mom kissing and hugging this borderline teen looking guy.

Do you think they are happy? I can tell you personally, they are fucking miserable. Single moms want to think they retain value after they ruin themselves, but in reality they are burdens.

Exceptions are generally made for a single mom who is both hot and young with only one kid and lots of money made on her own, those are incredibly rare.

SecondEldenLord · 2025-12-31T09:37:06+00:00

Nobody in the red pill community is saying it's impossible for single moms to date. But their pool of men is limited plus considering that these women still have high standards, it's very unlikely they will meet the man they actually want. Unlikely BUT not impossible.

MarioWilson122 · 2025-12-31T10:45:04+00:00

Typically, these options aren’t serious options, especially with men they desire. Since the ones they mostly desire can get a better deal, than a woman with kids. Of course, there are cases they can find something serious but that doesn’t happen nearly enough for it to matter. So it’s not really a revenge fantasy it is the truth that they will generally struggle, to find decent men they desire to take on that role.

Downtown_Werewolf_44 · 2025-12-31T10:20:02+00:00

I guess it's a bit of an age things.

Before 30, having kids might significantly reduce the dating pool of single moms. After 30, it become quite common and it doesn't matter as much, especially for guys who also have kids.

There are other factors comming in, like number of kids, ages, that kind of thing, but it's more situational than a general rule at this point.

DumbWordsmith · 2025-12-31T11:50:52+00:00

Sure, some will find decent men.

However, I've seen plenty of ugly men married to objectively attractive women as well. The average ugly man isn't as lucky (or attractive in other ways).

There aren't an infinite number of attractive, sane, driven men.

Feeling_Ad_1034 · 2025-12-31T14:05:14+00:00

"Single moms have more limited options than childless women"

I think that's the starting point that both sides agree on, but RedPill just has to try as hard as they possibly can to twist the knife there.

"some dudes are OK getting access to a more attractive woman than they're used to by volunteering to help with kids that aren't theirs instead of putting in extra work on their appearance or skillset"

That's kind of my take. I can understand a RedPilled person saying that this is a "weak" or "looser" move of the guy. I'd have to agree, but I really don't care what choices other dudes make. Single moms are personally not my cup of tea when it comes to dating. But I get it.

And it seems from the comments that we've all seen many examples of single moms marrying and "being happy" (poor metric I get it) But I think the RedPill people will do everything they can to poke holes in these widespread examples to keep the narrative that Becky who rejected them in high school and got knocked up by chad can't possibly ever be happy again.

Luminous_Face_42 · 2025-12-31T16:25:58+00:00

it's way harder to date as a single mom, come on.

the red pill is dead wrong about OF chicks though. Most guys don't care especially when you're that caliber of hot. Caleb Williams just started dating an OF girl. What's more "high value" than a hot star QB on a playoff NFL team? And the girl is actually four years older than him.

Darth-Hakujou · 2026-01-01T01:50:42+00:00

If some single-moms are successful??? Good on them. I shy away from the responsiblity of someone elses child.

Bob_the_Blogger · 2025-12-31T12:17:00+00:00

The single mother hate on this sub is insane. They also pretend that single dads don’t exist or that people never adopt children they aren’t biological related to.

My mom got remarried to a guy that also had a kid. I’m closer to my step father than my biological father. My mom adopted my step brother and my step dad adopted me.

There are so many stories of successfully blending families.

overlysensitivemods · 2025-12-31T14:08:01+00:00

There's this revenge fantasy about single moms...

The only fantasy is the entire OP.

Reasonable_Mouse789 · 2025-12-31T06:58:52+00:00

Preface: Reddit has a huge amount of permanently childfree people, including me, and they might overestimate how much e.g. a single father might avoid dating a single mother. I’d never personally consider dating a single mother an option.

Anyways, with that out of the way, your core “value” as a single person to strangers would be:

How good looking you are
How financially well off and responsible you are
Reducing your burden as much as possible (no kids, no life altering major responsibilities, etc.). In other words, you’re very flexible to the burdens of others, if they have minor ones that don’t inconvenience you much
Compatibility also technically matters, but your personality, religion, ethnicity, etc. can mostly be lined up with the people around you anyway

Having kids as a woman can hurt your appearance, reduce your ability to have sex, harm your finances, and generally make your life a lot harder by taking up a ton of your time. It’s not ideal to be single with kids. Additionally, I’m not sure which is worse: 1) to not have the old father around (allowing the new guy to take full responsibility), or 2) to have the old father around helping (lowering the burden, but also making things awkward if he interacts with a new guy, causing predictable tension)

Not to mention the coordination for what’s going to happen if the guy also has kids, or if he wants more kids

mrbonee69 · 2025-12-31T14:08:40+00:00

Once a woman becomes a single mother she loses access to the high value men that she so desires. She will pretend that the various chad-lites that fuck her once and never call back are actually relationships, but deep down she knows she is lying to herself.

Knight-Bishop · 2025-12-31T07:20:33+00:00

Nah. We don’t say that single Mom’s won’t/can’t get men.

What we more so try to do is warn men how you single Mom’s are just looking for beta bucks.

Our goal is to spread awareness to protect men from the leeches that single Mom’s mostly are.

Single mom’s should date single dad’s. Date each other. We get tired of seeing you single Mom’s on Tinder. It gets really old.

And oh yeah, men don’t “owe” you shit. Not a bailout. Not cash for your kids. Not diapers. Nothing.

Training-Cook3507 · 2025-12-31T14:45:05+00:00

I think it's not necessarily revenge but more advice to avoid single Moms if possible.

SummerBreeze750 · 2025-12-31T17:10:57+00:00

single moms struggling to find decent men. I disagree,

I guess that means that when young childless women claim that they are unable to find a decent man for a relationship, they are wrong. Agreed?

hydro908 · 2025-12-31T18:36:58+00:00

If the girl is still hot and has a good job she’s still an option also depends how many kids she has and what age

Popeoath · 2025-12-31T23:23:51+00:00

They don't struggle to find decent men, they struggle to find decent men who are both desirable (beyond finances) and willing to commit.

I know guys who date single moms but they're all perfectly fine cheating too. They basically just take advantage of how you can date hotter women than usual if they're stuck with kids, they don't want you to take them out as often since they have kids, and they have more bangmaid skills. The dudes don't invest deeply into these relationships, they use them to fill gaps in their personal lives.

Every guy I know who actually properly commits to and respects their partners wouldn't be caught dating a single mom. They either want to start the family themselves or don't want kids at all.

There is the rare plesant guy who just dates single moms normally... But often this dude is not a catch (at least, again, beyond his bank account).

Afraid-Night3036 · 2026-01-01T14:09:55+00:00

Eh… my sister is currently in this position and she’s repeatedly lamented that for her, it’s borderline impossible to find someone that’s compatible (ok with her having a kid but not wanting any more) and also himself not having kids.

I recognize that this is adding to the problem but I can’t imagine that it’s too uncommon.

Wide-Illustrator2906 · 2025-12-31T11:30:33+00:00

Most single mothers will not marry. That is the reality of the situation. They may find dates and hookups but the prospects of marriage and stability are almost nonexistent. A single mother's life is worse in just about every statistical aspect and I think we are doing the next generation of women a disservice when we lie or gaslight them about this.

KhadgarIsaDreadlord · 2025-12-31T10:37:08+00:00

I don't think that the red pill says that single moms can't date, just that you shouldn't date them becouse there is no reason to invest yourself into someone who already has the living manifestation of baggage from a previous relationship on a higher priority than you will ever be.

Ofc this highly depends on your age, after a certain point it's reasonable to expect that a future partner already started a family but that's not something you should necessarily settle for below 40.

Sidian · 2025-12-31T13:24:26+00:00

I don't know what people who openly identify as redpill say, but 'redpill-adjacent' people like me will usually agree with you and actually claim that women live on easy mode and at all times have an incredibly easy time getting partners, whilst men live in hell and actually have to work for things. Femcels don't exist, etc. So yes, even as a single mother (which absolutely reduces how valuable you are as a partner), women will have a much easier time than an average man.

CelicnisGhost · 2025-12-31T11:24:53+00:00

I disagree, single moms can find men , and not just any men but men who are relatively well-off (in comparison to the woman) and are willing to financially invest in her kids.

Yes, they will find simps and poor suckers who have no clue about anything. Those poor bastards...

They will never end up with a man they will truly be attracted to, who they could have had in their prime.

kvakerok_v2 · 2025-12-31T13:37:36+00:00

The only women who struggle are those who sabotage themselves for a variety of reasons.

So the majority of single moms. You do realize women today started divorcing and leaving perfectly fine "good men" to chase the tingles of the whore phase? That's literally tiktok brainrot-induced self-sabotage. The only men that would find acceptable to wife these whores are not anywhere close to even the caliber of men they've divorced lol.

ConstipatedAvocado · 2025-12-31T09:34:29+00:00

TBH it kinda depends on the single mother too.

My wife's friend is a single mom. She a nurse but pretty modest, she had a kid during covid with her boyfriend (who was a police officer) and it eventually didnt work out (probably more his doing tbh). She ended up meeting a new fella eventually and he seems like a decent dude too. I think the key barrier for her was weight (she blew up after having her kid) but she lost a lot and seemed to find a new guy pretty quickly. There are plenty of single mothers out there who are pretty normal people, it didnt work out with the childs father but because they're reasonable and personable they often dont struggle to meet guys who are willing to play father figure (something which I deeply respect).

The only women who struggle are those who sabotage themselves for a variety of reasons.

This is also true but its important to understand that this is a lot of women. They're always a certain type too. Back in the day when I was on OLD, I noticed there was a certain type who had a kid. They were often pretty hot but were way more keen and friendly than the childless types. They would be quick to meet, quick to smash and quick to have you interacting with their kids. I think those are types redpillers are talking about. They often have a whole bunch of "babydaddy" drama too. Another thing that always got me was back when I was into ENM and swinging, there were always a ton of single mothers on there too (often single female unicorns). There are some single mothers who simply experienced a relationship dissolution but you also had others who were super promiscuous and ended up with children quickly.

Educational_Middle57 · 2025-12-31T07:56:59+00:00

Even if they do, the quality of the relationship will be low. No matter how hard they try to ignore it, deep down the man knows he is a cuck.

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leefjk · 2025-12-31T16:42:16+00:00

I feel like it depends on how much the kids look like the man.

Livid-Log7463 · 2025-12-31T18:32:39+00:00

Yeah, women don’t really ever face any consequences for both their own choices or being less desirable.

AfternoonTop5134 · 2026-01-01T07:21:22+00:00

Tell me something i don't already know

xEyelessOnex · 2026-01-01T19:25:16+00:00

I had this discussion with my wife's cousin. She accused me of hating single moms after I commented on her post about "7 Reasons to Date A Single Mom". I called out what I saw (especially with the video she was using) and narrowed it down to 3 reasons they do:

Free food.
Free place to stay.
Free sex.

There was an uproar there. It also didn't help the fact that she sleeps with anything that throws her a smile to boot. It's like she likes being used. She's since gotten married and I can only assume things are well because she blocked me after.

Then there's the fact the if a man bonds with those children and REALLY invests into them, the mother can take those children away on a whim, leaving the man devastated. Not to mention a lot of the videos of those very same children disrespecting those men with the whole "you're not my real dad" comment and the moms , at times supporting it. That's where this entire thing comes from.

Crime_Dawg · 2026-01-02T16:11:02+00:00

It certainly makes them have less choices of partner, that's a given. They may also still be able to find a partner, but it's likely a step down from what they otherwise could've gotten.

xxTx-Toymanxx · 2026-01-02T16:26:56+00:00

Big difference between finding willing dating partners and those that are willing to enter a long term commitment.

Its not impossible but its significantly more difficult.

Sander_Supporter · 2026-01-03T23:18:19+00:00

Alpha fucks, betabuxx. What’s new

John_Oakman · 2025-12-31T14:57:17+00:00

If anything, a single mother would have a easier time leveraging her social legitimacy value in securing a provider male coparent, but said social legitimacy value is less than worthless as far as snagging a based & redpilled real man of the manosphere is concerned.

That, is the first half of the Redpill's point, the second half being that despite grand proclamation from single mothers (and their allies) that they no longer desire (or never did so in the first place) such based & redpilled real men, they still desire them in some form or fashion (if only in the form of asserting their moral supremacy over them). They [those based & redpilled real men of the manosphere] sees this play out in their interactions (terminally online perhaps, but increasingly online is the reality for most people).

Maleficent-Remote580 · 2025-12-31T19:10:52+00:00

4 questions

Are you raised by a step dad.
What would you call him - high value chad who eventually settled down, normal guy average success, or late bloomer who got lucky that your mom gave him a chance

3.was he a good dad to you. 4 do you respect him

Please answer honestly

Artistic_Speech_1965 · 2025-12-31T09:34:46+00:00

I agree the RP is attacking single mom as a revenge fantasy since they classify them as the "Stacy who messed up with a chad and want a man to take responsibility of her mistake (her child)". Of course this is dumb and far from the reality

I have to admit a lot of men wouldn't want a single mother as a partner, but those who do would generally be of good qualities since they are mature and family oriented. A single mom with kids is a good balance between love and family

Lift_and_Lurk · 2025-12-31T14:24:26+00:00

This hypocrisy has already been exposed as it’s been shown over and over RP and RP influencers marry single moms

https://youtu.be/LgaMTwC5LQ4

https://www.complex.com/life/a/backwoodsaltar/far-right-podcaster-loses-it-heated-interview

AND Let’s not forget the dude started popularizing the term TRP was already married to a single mom

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mashedturnip · 2025-12-31T17:09:44+00:00

It’s sad that you think men can’t love or even like kids that aren’t their own, or the woman who made them

stuffeson · 2025-12-31T07:30:29+00:00

I think this is true. There is plenty of single men with or without kids willing to date single moms. But its probably a good thing. If women split up it is probably better that they find a new partner with / without kids to help raise their kids and create a new family.

Magic_Unicorn08 · 2025-12-31T10:12:16+00:00

Yes it is it always has been men want to dominate. That's why they tourtcher their ex wives finically when they leave; why a lot of them moleste their daughters. They have real problems.

Title	The red pill is delusional about single mom dating options
Author	Novel-Tip-7570
Upvotes	42
Comments	224
Date	December 31, 2025 6:48 AM UTC (6 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1q06etw/the_red_pill_is_delusional_about_single_mom/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/the-red-pill-is-delusional-about-single-mom-dating.1570091 https://theredarchive.com/post/1570091

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