Why Do Men's Issues Often Get Overlooked

Poppy_Luvv · 2024-12-15T13:58:08+00:00

Issues like men’s mental health, suicide rates, societal pressure to suppress emotions, substancally lower number of sexual partners than women

One of these does not belong.

Men's issues are not like women's issues, because women generally agree their issues are issues. We have different opinions, but generally agree matters like women's health, body image, safety, mental health etc. all matter. Men don't seem too.

Like, take this example. The legalization of sports gambling has been pretty devastating for men. Young men are becoming addicted to sports gambling, and gambling addiction ruins peoples health and their lives. Gambling addicts have the highest rate of attempting to end their own life. If men are in a unique mental health crisis, this stands out as one of the causes.

But would men, as a group, react positivity to efforts to re-ban sports gambling? What if women lead the efforts to re-ban sports gambling? Would we be seen as caring about a men's issue, or would we be seen as bitches, coming to ruin the fun? Can we address this without walking on eggshells?

As a women, that's my take. Men want the "issues" addressed, but they seem to want them addressed in some abstract way without really engaging with the causes.

DoubleFistBishh · 2024-12-15T10:01:00+00:00

Because most men don't care enough about those issues to do anything about them. The only time they ever really get brought up is in opposition to womens issues.

Also a mans lack of sexual partners is not a societal issue lol....

Routine-Present-3676 · 2024-12-15T07:32:28+00:00

Men's issues are a totally valid concern. I applaud and support all men that are actively working to make the world a safer place for men by advocating for mental health awareness, support of abuse, etc.

I think the disconnect occurs when men expect women to equally advocate for their issues without giving the same consideration to women. Why should women spend their time advocating for men when they have the ability and agency to advocate for these changes for themselves? It’s really starting to feel like they’re expecting their mommy to come in and clean up their goddamn messes instead of learning how to do it themselves. It frankly is exhausting to think that we are expected to fight their fight when we’re still fighting our own to just be seen as equals. You have to put your own mask on before you offer help others.

NoDanaOnlyZuuI · 2024-12-15T13:54:25+00:00

Why are you asking women?

Ask your fellow men what they’re doing to support men’s issues.

What are you doing to support men’s issues?

Women fight for women’s issues. I don’t see men doing the same. They’re looking around wondering why no one’s fighting for them while not fighting for themselves.

Searches for International Men’s Day consistently peak on International Women’s Day.

Be the change you want to see

ConstantCode8637 · 2024-12-15T16:20:38+00:00

Women's issues were only addressed because women chose to band together and earn their rights through protesting.

Men's issues definitely matter, but the driving force in them seeing the changes they want to see involves banding together as a unit to fight for what they want, and it seems many don't want to. They'd rather talk about the rights they don't have.

A dude on this sub called me a "classic feminist" because I told him that men have to address their problems at a larger scale, similar to how feminists protested for their rights.

fiftypoundpuppy · 2024-12-15T06:42:29+00:00

Issues like men’s mental health, suicide rates, societal pressure to suppress emotions

Feminists say toxic masculinity hurts men, and men mock them and get in their feels about the term

substancally lower number of sexual partners than women

That's not an issue, and it's not even true. There's no pussy charity either way

negative portrayals of masculinity

Yeah

So

Like I said earlier

It sometimes feels like people (both men and women) dismiss these concerns, as if acknowledging them takes away from women’s struggles.

Yeah look, men have issues and men are struggling and men deserve help, but the devil's in the details and some things men think "need to be addressed" are ridiculous and impossible and unworthy - like men having "substantially lower number of sexual partners." When you throw things like that in with potentially legitimate issues you are not going to be taken seriously.

And there's a lot of awful messaging around men's issues regardless, many men themselves see it as zero sum; go on about divorce rape and paternity testing, and only bring up men's issues when trying to avoid talking about women's. And at the end of the day, I'm sorry, but women's issues have consistently been under attack ever since we got rights. It's not like we've ever had much breathing room to sit back and relax, and with Roe being overturned and Trump coming back, it's a viscerally scary time for many women with Project 2025 in the works and zero checks and balances. When you are actually having to live life as a woman and you hear men talking about how they don't have as many sex partners as us, it's going to be a little hard to take your problems seriously.

Men can't even get on the same page themselves about what "problems" they have, much less what to focus on specifically - and yet women are supposed to have carte blanche support for them? And when it comes to mental health no one is in more support of getting treatment than women, and no one is more adamant that treatment is useless than men. At a certain point it just seems like WTF do y'all even want from us, you know? You keep talking about your mental health and suicide rates but don't want to get treatment and you keep talking about your gender roles but recoil every time the term "toxic masculinity" is used.

Figure out what you actually want to advocate for first cause right now it's all over the map. We have cut dicks, we have dry dicks, we have rigid icks... and everything in between. Then maybe there can be a conversation about attention and empathy

Siukslinis_acc · 2024-12-15T13:15:44+00:00

From my experience on the internet it is often talked when problems of women being talked about. Thus they are often said in opposition, to dismiss the problem of women or to derail the conversation (like women talk about their problem, then a man "butts it" and wants to talk about their problems, thus the conversation is no longer about womens problem, but about mens problems). Or when the problems are talked it is usially by dismissing the problems of women (the whole "women have easier time with dating" rethoric instead of "these are the hardships men have while dating" without comparing it to womens problems or vilanising women) or blaming women for their problems.

You know there is an american institute for boys and men which focuses on mens problems without dismissing the problems of women?

Perfect-Resist5478 · 2024-12-15T14:33:37+00:00

Because you do things like lumping suicide & men’s mental health with not getting laid enough, and tbh most women are pretty sick of hearing about how men don’t think they smash enough.

bluepvtstorm · 2024-12-15T14:37:49+00:00

I have said it time and time again in here. Men want attention to their issues with women doing the grunt work for them. I have stated several times, men need to define and declare what issues they want prioritized.

If the issue is male mental health then what is the plan for fixing it. Not there’s a male mental health crisis, how do we fix it?

When no-fault divorces became a thing and women needed to escape, domestic violence shelters became a thing and before that Nuns used to take care of women who needed help. Women set up the infrastructure for those things. Things like the House of Ruth became a place for women to escape.

Men who are now more entrenched in the church can work with them to set up the House of Job. Do the fundraising, do the strategy, find a commercial building and turn it into dorms. Deal with the NIMBY’s.

But here’s where patriarchy will get you in the ass. Social Workers are woefully underpaid and those would be the best people to help with a project like this. you would want to have male social workers to forge that connection but since it’s so woefully underpaid because it’s perceived as woman’s work then you are going to have that struggle of finding enough men to be effective at it.

You would need counselors, people plugged into addiction and recovery, people plugged into grant writing, people plugged into disability advocacy. All of these things have been treated as women’s work so the salaries are super low and you need men to be present in order to properly represent the struggles. This is the double edged sword of patriarchy. Men don’t have to do this work. It will get done by women but it’s not as effective because the system is so overburdened with women and children who need help.

My dad was a social worker for 37 years. One of the first in the state who advocated for gay men to be able to adopt kids out of foster care because he knew how good a life those kids would have. He was also a small government republican that taught his daughters to be self sufficient because they don’t make men like him.

Men can champion their issues. They just need to create a plan and a strategy that doesn’t involve the fixed labor of women doing the grunt work. That has always been the case. Focus on what is the most important and trickle down from there.

katecard · 2024-12-15T07:12:50+00:00

They don't. The entire world is about men. Women have to work their asses off to get women's issues into the conversation. And still, women's issues are laughed at. Women's issues are called fake, exaggerated, or "playing victim." Women's issues called natural/biological. Men say women deserve it or that it's women's fault and nothing to do with misogyny.

I hear about men's issues every single day. Women never stop talking about it. Women try so hard to be nice to men just to get told men aren't centered enough. If men gave a fuck about these issues, they would mention it independently, not in response to women, trying to silence women talking about women's issues.

LillthOfBabylon · 2024-12-15T12:39:57+00:00

Why Do Men's Issues Often Get Overlooked

Because men dont give a fuck.
The man who claimed to give a fuck only care to try to blame women for the problems, instead of asking why their male-majority rulers dont give a shit.

While women’s struggles like workplace inequality, safety, or societal expectations are discussed and addressed

Because people have been actually vocal about this.

Issues like men’s mental health, suicide rates, societal pressure to suppress emotions

Men tell other men to suppress their emotions and don’t worry about their mental health. When women tell them that they should go to therapy like women do, women are met with a bunch of excuses, especially ones that being vulnerable doesn’t get men laid.

substancally lower number of sexual partners than women

Imagine thinking men not getting their dicks wet enough is a man’s issue and then wonder why women don’t take that shit seriously.

or negative portrayals of masculinity are very real

While you ignored the negative portrayals of femininity.

but talking about them can feel like stepping on eggshells

Because the way men issues are mostly talked about is so unappealing to help out with. Seriously, thinking that not getting your dick is a man’s issue is fucking ridiculous.

SapphireRising225 · 2024-12-15T07:21:51+00:00

Because men by and large don’t care about these issues. There was someone that posted on here a while back about how a domestic violence shelter for men only eventually got shut down despite every best effort to promote it because too few men were using it. Guys were still twisting themselves in the comments trying to somehow blame feminism for this.

The truth for MRAs that they need to accept is that for most men who are anti feminist it’s because they prefer return to patriarchy not because they desire true equality. It’s why the most popular male figures from the manosphere have ended being Andrew Tate not Paul Elam.

It has nothing to do with wanting to be political correct, conservatives have no problem tweeting repeal the 19th amendment, they can talk about male issues if they wanted.

S0yslut · 2024-12-15T07:26:10+00:00

Whatever the women in this subreddit say feminists’ actions and their lack of academic integrity (exposed by the grievance studies affair) tell the full story. Feminists set off the sprinklers at men’s rights activists meetings. They want a monopoly on opportunity and power. Otherwise there would be no reason to do that. Men will have to stop representing women’s interests and instead focus on their own for the time being. Clearly women aren’t on board to meet men in the middle.

I know you were hoping for any empathy from women but you won’t get it on Reddit because it’s a liberal squawk box. Feminists believe they are arguing from moral superiority so they won’t compromise. men rights are viewed as anti-feminism. You can’t trust them to be empathetic to mens issues because they believe they are oppressed in the US by the patriarchy. That is why men are silenced.

Search paternity testing on this subreddit. There’s no logical reason to oppose a paternity test, but women on this subreddit overwhelmingly do despite the consequences for the child and father. This would be such a simple win to let men have. They won’t allow it! And before, “he can I’ll just get a divorce.” That is you not allowing it in your relationships.

Edit: not one person who downvoted had a rebuttal. Those actions speak for themselves.

flipsidetroll · 2024-12-15T08:39:24+00:00

This is one of those questions that has no definitive answer. Feminists will say men overlook women’s issues and mra’s will say women are overlooking men’s issues. But people’s experiences are different. And many times, the issue being addressed has too many influences that can change the outcome.

I’ll give an example. ….women getting custody in divorce. All divorce goes through mediation. In mediation, the aim is to sort out as many if not all issues before going before the judge. So most times the custody and amount payable is agreed to by the parties. (Mra’s often bleat about alimony and child maintenance as too high, but often both parties have agreed to it). No matter if the custody is shared, there is always a primary residence and primary guardian for the children. So when MRAs use the data that women are most often the primary guardian, this is because of this. If custody is disputed, many things are considered. Let’s say the man works more hours. So is he available to take the children to school and back, take them to extra curricular activities, provide aftercare? If the mother is available, then mostly she would be given more days. Of course it’s not this simple, I’m just giving examples, and of course there are contentious divorces where things get ugly and accusations are thrown around, (my area of work), this is an issue I totally agree.

Many issues are one word against another, SA, or DV but it would be better if we stopped separating many issues into men and women’s issues and tackled them together. But of course, how could ghastly people like Mona Eltawahy or Paul Elam make money off the issues if we were actually working together, right?

Different_Cress7369 · 2024-12-15T06:38:48+00:00

Because men generally don’t care about these issues except as a tool to derail discussion about women’s issues.

Sillysheila · 2024-12-16T01:54:01+00:00

I think part of it is that traditional masculinity and a lack of in group bias makes it really difficult for men to want to organise, or even admit that they have issues.

Part of the reason women organise more in general and are more likely to be online activists etc. is that they’re not afraid of asking for things or saying treatment towards them needs to changed, is bad etc. This is part of how women are raised in our female gender roles. It’s ok for us to ask for things and to consider how we feel. Women also have an in group bias…now when I say this some people on here might roll their eyes. It doesn’t mean women are a hive mind or whatever, it just means that we are more agreeable with each other and keep one another’s interests in mind. This makes sense when you consider in earlier, more violent parts of history women would’ve been very vulnerable due to our biology particularly in times of pregnancy/childrearing, so this support was greatly needed.

Men are not similarly biased, and there is additional challenge of men not wanting to admit struggle or need, for fear of being seen as less masculine. A lot more men have an outlook where they view themselves as rugged individuals trying to make it out on top. Working together as a group to proclaim about how they are struggling in some manner, isn’t befitting of a traditional masculine image.

There was a men’s movement mirroring various aspects of the feminist movement in the 1970s. One of the key figures in the movement was Warren Farrell, a feminist leaning man whose writings often zeroed in on the male side of gender roles. He introduced the idea of men as success objects rather than sex objects (an idea that I use in this subreddit) and argued that men should throw off the shackles of being a stern, emotionless traditional provider, becoming more involved in caring roles. There were some movements that followed his ideas.

Sadly this inspired activism wave died out because men were unable to agree to organise behind these principles, with some wanting to blame women/feminists more, some disliking the ideas the men should give up the bootstrap lifestyle (with some of these underground men’s movements becoming heavily masculinised, hyper individualistic, and focused on philosophy and lifestyle as well) and some agreeing with Farrell more. The men’s movement went more underground, disconnected from the mainstream and split off into a bunch of different smaller groups. This is a perfect example of what I’m talking about. A movement like Farrell’s 1970s movement could be inspired and we could see real change, but we would also need to see men give up the idea of not asking for help, and to agree on a few centralised guiding principles.

This is not to say that we can’t criticise also how people react to men’s issues or how some feminist groups or individual women may react to them. I don’t really think it’s the whole story, considering that men’s issues are not represented within the mainstream which is a rather large problem.

I understand people getting frustrated at men introducing issues as a whataboutism with other gendered issues, but I do believe we need to take a step back and display more empathy and compassion to men’s issues as well. When people bring up issues specific to men, the response often is that they aren’t oppressed or discriminated in other areas so it doesn’t matter (which I really disagree with; some particular groups of men, like non white men, working class men, disabled men and LGBT men face a lot of difficulty). Another response I hate is “well women have it worse in some other way, so there”. For example, people pointing out that more women attempt suicide when suicide is brought up. This is just tone deaf and is very lacking in empathy for men that experience suicide, suicidal thoughts, and their friends/family.

Flightlessbirbz · 2024-12-15T14:19:22+00:00

Issues like men’s mental health, suicide rates, societal pressure to suppress emotions, substancally (sic) lower number of sexual partners than women, or negative portrayals of masculinity

One of these things is not like the others, and yet receives far more attention than the others, despite being statistically false. Trying to make a personal problem into a societal issue that other people need to do something (but we don’t know what) about, does not go over well for obvious reasons. That’s like women talking about workplace inequality and safety issues then throwing in “not getting proposed to soon enough.”

Now if we ignore that and focus on actual men’s issues, I would say people of both genders mostly do care if you were to ask. The problem is that men generally do not care enough to bring up these issues except when trying to undermine women’s issues.

The only ways I ever consistently see men discussing solutions for men’s problems is in the context of punishing women in some way (financial abortion, getting rid of scholarships and programs for women, prosecuting women more harshly, for example) and never anything that doesn’t relate to women or would also benefit women (better birth control options for men, free/affordable healthcare including mental healthcare, scholarships and programs for men, prison/justice system reform, men’s shelters, etc.). The only post I’ve ever seen that was discussing real solutions for men falling behind in education was, you guessed it, from a woman, and had mostly women commenting. And yes, support from women is important, but there can’t be a movement without the people it is about.

serpensmercurialis · 2024-12-15T16:47:13+00:00

Why is this a q4w?

Issues like men’s mental health, suicide rates, societal pressure to suppress emotions

Just go to a psychiatrist bro it’s not that deep.

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RoseyButterflies · 2024-12-16T12:28:23+00:00

Where's you get that men have substancially lower number of sexual partners than women?

It's usually higher by 25%

-Shes-A-Carnival · 2024-12-15T14:07:38+00:00

you mean by men of course

Ppdebatesomental · 2024-12-15T18:32:23+00:00

>as if acknowledging them takes away from women’s struggles.

Well…..your bros in other parts of this subreddit today literally suggesting we take away women’s rights aren’t helping. They are literally suggesting we need to make women‘s struggles harder. Some weird, old rageaholic coomer said the same thing yesterday

Furthermore, complaining about a lack of sex partners is not an actionable problem unless you want to advocate for the legalization of prostitution, but that ultimately doesn’t solve the problem of some people being more desirable than others. Sadly the Men’srights subreddit can’t stop whining about slutty women long enough to actually do anything about possible legal actions that could gain political traction.

Last I looked, men were pretty well represented in politics , so….maybe you need to ask them why they don’t support men’s issues.

AngeAware · 2024-12-15T07:13:31+00:00

but talking about them can feel like stepping on eggshells

At pretty much any level of society fear of "stepping on eggshells" is exactly how your issues will be overlooked

I'm sorry that this fundamental truth of reality is so upsetting to some of you

ThatBitchA · 2024-12-15T16:29:01+00:00

Why aren't men doing the work themselves to advocate for their issues.

Though not getting laid as frequently as they want isn't a societal issue.

Still, it seems like men are waiting for women to come and rescue them from their problems. Women aren't going to save men from themselves.

spanglesandbambi · 2024-12-15T19:24:50+00:00

If only more men were in power to help resolve men's issues /s

This is the point of the issue, though if they are getting overlooked it's by other men I.e men are the issue.

Difficult_Falcon1022 · 2024-12-16T01:44:42+00:00

I don't think they're overlooked. On the contrary there's a lot of coverage and policies regarding all of what you've said. All of the women's issues you have mentioned have been regularly attacked and belittled as well.

Title	Why Do Men's Issues Often Get Overlooked
Author	thetruemaxwellord
Upvotes	50
Comments	409
Date	December 15, 2024 6:11 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1hemhf5/why_do_mens_issues_often_get_overlooked/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/why-do-mens-issues-often-get-overlooked.1538540 https://theredarchive.com/post/1538540

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