Men...this is the main reason you aren't getting laid

_Turiya · 2022-01-10T14:28:05+00:00

how do i get out and about if i don’t have a social circle to begin with

phrunk87 · 2022-01-10T14:57:48+00:00

That was a lot of words and misinformation just to basically say:

"If you meet more women in general, you'll have a better chance of meeting women who might be into you"

I get the point you're trying to make, but that's pretty simple advice that isn't exactly groundbreaking.

affinitypaw · 2022-01-10T14:40:56+00:00

I've tried. Extremely hard.

It doesn't work.

I'm sick of forcing it. I'd rather just focus on things within my control rather than playing all the mind games in the minefield that is dating

Blackmetalpenguin90 · 2022-01-10T14:07:28+00:00

Yeah, I tried the "let's be very social" thing. Fact is, I rarely met any women who were single and reasonably attractive, as almost all social circles are sausage fests where any prettyish girl will be pulled out of the market in minutes. It's a bunch of work and time, spent doing activities I'm not that interested in, with people I'm also not that interested in, just to occasionally have a shot with an ok girl. It's not worth it. Cold approach takes 3 minutes of my life and I don't have to maneuver social customs and beat around the bush so as not to reduce my standing.

Edit: I'd like to add that this does not apply to guys in college. If you're in college, then be as social as you can, because that scene is FULL of young, attractive women, and the gender ratio will also be in your favour (unless you are in a STEM field), and you can easily build up a huge social circle. But after college, yeah, the above applies.

Marinaraplease · 2022-01-10T14:53:17+00:00

You dumb asses! Get off social media and youtube!! Also please come check me out on social media and youtube

eccentricrealist · 2022-01-10T14:42:00+00:00

Bold of you to assume I get invitations to be social OP

rocksnstyx · 2022-01-10T14:29:01+00:00

This all might work if I didn't work 12 hours a day, take care of my son and live with crippling social anxiety due to past trauma. These types of posts come off as condescending, and almost never take into account someone's life circumstances.

aviator122 · 2022-01-10T15:31:47+00:00

I'm not getting laid because girls don't or stop responding on every dating app conversation.

WantanWanja · 2022-01-10T13:26:17+00:00

I'll just stick to the games it's more fun anyways

ld20r · 2022-01-10T16:20:15+00:00

Your dead right.

I was really into someone and they were more social than me. Ultimately they found someone because of the fact they simply had more social experiences and networks to work from.

More social experiences = more options.

More options = more opportunities for dates and sex.

Now the socialising itself isn’t a guaranteed ticket to success but it does increase your chances and opportunities.

It’s all a giant numbers game.

Local_Blackberry_856 · 2022-01-10T15:21:42+00:00

It's not like that. My brother is single, he is such a nice man, but really, I sometimes hate how woman act, they do not treat people well, just because they know they are attractive or sort. Its completely not that simple. they are sometimes very unkind out of nowhere.

Chicagoj1563 · 2022-01-10T16:02:10+00:00

This is spot on the problem most guys really have. I think some of the posts disagreeing with this is relating to some sticking points, such as you know someone who is social and around women yet doesn't get laid, or you don't have enough time, etc...

Comon. You either want to try or you don't. Truth is, most guys if they had access to attractive women socially on a regular (weekly) basis, they would try. And they would get numbers, lots of flakes, but eventually would get dates. Yes, you still have to learn some fundamentals of attraction. You have to learn to talk to women in a man to women way, sexualize conversations, etc... But, I would ague if you go out and get social, build a life of various interests, get good with people socially in general, then most guys natural intuition would be enough to figure it out. Not to mention your whole life gets upgraded.

bjjkaril1 · 2022-01-10T15:38:13+00:00

Yeah but what do you even do to meet these women? I work a full time job and run a business. If I was single, idk where I'd meet women besides the bar or dating apps. My main hobby is martial arts and guitar. Aside from just chilling in coffee shops, hanging around college campuses, dance classes or yoga classes, I have no clue how to meet women.

VDKay · 2022-01-10T17:16:20+00:00

Men. This is the number one reason why you aren't getting laid...

You aren't social enough.

That's it.

That's what it all boils down to in the end.

pretty blanket statement. I can easily come up from the top of my head with a bunch of examples from my friends an acquaintances who are either super-social but can't get a girl to like them sexually, and others who are not like super-social, but do have a GF. Personally, I've been on the former group for several years. Had no trouble meeting and befriending girls, but was really frustrated when I ended up in the friendzone every time. My recommendation would be to, yes, be as social as possible, but also start flirting as soon as possible. And also always opt to burn a bridge instead of struggling being accepted and likeable no matter what

BlankImagination · 2022-01-10T21:30:03+00:00

Dating is like applying for jobs- you have to fill out like 30 applications just to get one bite

gsbs2010 · 2022-01-11T10:32:04+00:00

Omicron says Hi👋

caesarfecit · 2022-01-10T16:46:05+00:00

100% approve. Unless you've got serious lifestyle issues or zero game whatsoever, the thing holding you back is you're not getting out there enough.

Remember Mark Manson's Three Fundamentals?

Lifestyle affects the quality of women you meet and how "pre-warmed" they are. The goal here being not necessarily to be some kinda rockstar celebrity, but to hone in on your target demographic so the girls you meet are super compatible with you, and you with them. Building lifestyle is all about changing the "league" you play in, and reducing friction.
Much of what we call "outer game" MM just calls "conversational skills" and he's not entirely wrong. Most of outer game is just basic flirting skills and the things you learn with experience. What many people misunderstand is that all game can really do for you is improve your batting average. It will not change the quality and quantity of women you get, because those things depend upon your character and your decisions.
Courage, or the willingness to approach, polarize, and escalate is what determines the quantity of women you get. It is the one indispensable ingredient of good game because nothing else can replace it or compensate for it. You can literally be Prince Charles, or have god-tier game, but if you have no balls, guess what, you're still Prince Charles, pretty much the antithesis of a ladies' man, despite having advantages you and I never will.

It's like the old bit from King of the Hill where Boomhauer takes Bobby out to show him his secrets for picking up women, and lo and behold, all Boomhauer does is spam-approach women in a shoe store. His batting average is terrible, but he still gets results because he keeps a positive attitude and doesn't get discouraged by rejection.

Now, I've said before that you'll get 80% of your gains from working on your lifestyle, and 20% from consciously practicing and honing your game through experience, but that all assumes that you're getting out there and getting your reps in. Because if you don't, the 80% might be good for your self-esteem and IRL life, but it won't help you get laid, and the gains from the 20% will be non-existent because you're not getting out there.

So get out there.

There has never been a better time to just get out and be social because people are so starved for normal social interactions. We've all had extra time on our hands thanks to working from home and lockdowns, and the lesson to take away from all of that is to make the most of your idle time.

jorstar · 2022-01-10T19:16:08+00:00

I scrolled through all these comments, and I don’t see one mention of the fact we’re in a god damn pandemic. Am I the only person here whose social life has been completely torpedoed by the pandemic???

I’m sick of hearing dating advice that ignores the fact that socializing is a shit show thanks to covid.

cronasminate · 2022-01-10T21:41:29+00:00

You need to be attractive enough for this to work.

Let’s say being social is your reach. Attractiveness is your conversion.

If your conversion is so low, even if you have a lot of reach, it takes too much effort for them to get even one good lead because they are not attractive enough.

They are better off working on their attractiveness before going out of their way to be social.

Attractive guys love going out because it rewarding to them. Unattractive guys don't get enough rewards often enough to justify the effort.

That being said, they should maintain base level social skills and keep improving them with the goal of getting better at reading people rather than trying to meet more people.

jam-unam · 2022-01-10T16:27:32+00:00

Damn straight, I am not social enough. And I know it. Thanks man I’m gonna get out there

Radicalmattitude1 · 2022-01-10T19:25:44+00:00

Good point lots of guys don’t laid simply because they don’t go out. But I want to point out how that clearly isn’t the ONLY reason why.

If you’re unattractive and you show up in a sea full of women, none of those women will be attracted to you so it won’t matter if you meet 100 or 1000 or 1,000,000. You still have to work on yourself and become attractive.

Social skills are attractive yes, but if you’re forcing yourself into social situations without first accepting and loving yourself, it will just make you feel like a social outcast in a room full of people. You might get better at making a polished social front, but you won’t build lasting meaningful connections.

This is just an example but the point is that it’s always a combination of things -> work on your lifestyle, purpose, fitness and nutrition, image, finances, self-esteem Etc. If all you did was become an approach/social skills monkey without taking care of the other things, the guy with a balanced lifestyle would mop the floor with you.

MyLifesParody · 2022-01-10T14:18:19+00:00

Can’t say I agree. I have a decent looking male acquaintance that recently contacted me saying he had 3 women all blow him off recently and that no sex was happening after hanging out for a bit. (Also sure he contacted me trying to get laid).

I know him and know why, because at one point I was that woman blowing him off.

He’s extremely clingy.

He’s a liar.

He has narcissistic traits (every story ended u with someone thinking he was hot or hitting on him).

And when we did sleep together (drunken mistaken and I was horny) it was about him getting off. No concern for me.

So yeah he’s social enough, but he is actually the problem. I’m just glad women are seeing him for what he is.

HtesNidog · 2022-01-10T14:47:08+00:00

This exact thing was posten on r/dating by OP. Wanna see the train wreck it became over there?

https://www.reddit.com/r/dating/comments/s0jvvk/menthis\_is\_the\_main\_reason\_you\_arent\_getting\_laid/?utm\_source=share&utm\_medium=web2x&context=3

Worried89_ · 2022-01-10T16:39:26+00:00

This is literally the same thing as telling people to "get out there and date." I've met plenty of social guys who struggle to land dates. You want to get laid? Here you go:

Wake up early and hit the gym for 1-2 hours/day. Learn to lift, invest time into learning the proper techniques and routines.
Dress yourself well. Pick some quality items and build around them to create a solid wardrobe. Plenty of services that can help you if you're clueless.
Get a good barber and visit him monthly. Make sure you build a good relationship, you never know when you'll need an emergency touch up.
Choose a beard length that accentuates your face and invest in body grooming tools. Girls put a ton of effort to look good, you should at the very least be immaculately clean and groomed.
Stop eating trash every meal and give up beer. You want to date women who are in shape and your belly goes past your chest? You need to reassess your priorities.
Get a skin routine. Nothing complicated. By that, I mean you just need a good scrubber and moisturizer. Also some good smelling soap, sandalwood is my choice.
Listen to a variety of podcasts or read a damn book every once in a while to help you become a more well-rounded conversationalist. Not all women want to hear about your obsession with your favorite sports team. Start with The Art of Manliness.
Learn to listen and be complementary without being a creep to Everyone you meet. Contrary to popular belief, you don't have to be an asshole to come off as confident.

Extra Credit:

Learn to fucking love hiking and get a dog to accompany you.
Take up yoga and learn about astrology.
Give up video games.

Do all of this consistently for 3 months, get some good pics, download a dating app and put effort into the descriptions and questions, and then sit back and wait.

If this doesn't work, come back and tell me I'm wrong.

ZenGeezer · 2022-01-10T16:59:47+00:00

I meet women all the time. They can tell I'm not a "player" and none of them are interested.

notastupid_question · 2022-01-10T17:35:31+00:00

I am introvert, I have tried to become social my whole fucking life. Fuck that. You either got it or you dont. I still get laid but it takes a tremendous amount of time and energy. Fuck people

nuc1earwessels · 2022-01-10T17:56:33+00:00

I agree with being more extroverted in general helps. But I disagree with saying yes to every social invitation you receive. Thats an easy way to get burned out, and hang out with people that are not worth your time. Only say yes to events/people you are genuinely excited bout going to seeing. It makes it more worth while.

daddysgotanew · 2022-01-10T19:03:31+00:00

Dude. If you can’t log onto Tinder and get laid tonight you’re not going to do any better in real life. Ugly is ugly and no one wants to be around it or associated with it. Funny how you also assume average looking men get invites to social gatherings. That doesn’t happen. No one wants to be around average people

ABINIDI · 2022-01-10T19:57:19+00:00

And get off of Porn..kills drive

SimplyADesk · 2022-01-10T16:04:48+00:00

It’s a pandemic here so it’s harder to date

DDBvagabond · 2022-01-10T16:43:24+00:00

Oh yeah, another megaoriginal take of "move the world".

Yes, tell it to me, who suffer from total apathy, once again. Maybe metaphysical mental fire of intruding into lifes of others will burn. Yeah, sure, mister changer.

jjboy91 · 2022-01-10T17:03:30+00:00

I talked to strangers for a year for a project, around 100 and it never lead to anything 🤷🏽‍♂️

aidsjohnson · 2022-01-10T17:04:22+00:00

You're not wrong, women are more social people than dudes. There was some study that said the average woman talks more in a given day than a man, so they do like a man that gets out there.

As for the other part of your post, that stuff definitely matters lol. Height, ethnicity, money, looks, and dating scene these days sucking are all factors. That's why I don't do well on these apps and shit, makes it easier for girls to not give me a chance. But you are right that if I were to go out I'd have a better chance at meeting women. Being social isn't a guarantee, but it's very important.

Lotus_82 · 2022-01-10T17:35:12+00:00

There are certain hobbies that will put you in social settings automatically. And better yet, some hobbies will put you in a place of prominence within those social settings.

Personally I’ve been DJing since my early 20s and I can’t even count the number of women it’s helped me meet and hook up with.

Warden18 · 2022-01-10T17:54:09+00:00

Makes sense. * Picks controller back up *

BaberFett · 2022-01-10T18:04:38+00:00

This wasn't great advice all the way. He's right. But not really. If your a hermit no shit you ain't gonna meet ppl. But to think that if you aren't attractive in some sort of mental, physical way no one will fuck with you. Even if ur at every fucking social avenue. This sounds like an ad for his page. Also posting on Reddit acting like anyone on Reddit is a creep. But then saying," come check out my page." No. Don't be a yes man. Don't be thirsty. Be you. There's other ppl like you. Don't be a creep. Don't be rude. Don't be unhumble.but honestly he's right but same as saying don't kill kittens. Common sense advice

AreJewOkay · 2022-01-10T19:23:07+00:00

Great advice. If you’re an average looking guy your soul will be crushed on OLD. It’s a sausage fest essentially.

I’ve met most of my girlfriends in person and most of them approached me. The best method I’ve found is to make good FEMALE friends. Girls usually know lots of girls and know where the girls are going to be. Then it’s an extra boost that they are able to vouch for you as not a weirdo because they’ve chosen to be your friend.

Deep-Room6932 · 2022-01-10T22:16:48+00:00

Don't be ugly... got it

PorchandTitchforks · 2022-01-10T23:02:37+00:00

Lame.

youKnowImRightBitch · 2022-01-10T23:05:55+00:00

Oh gosh another one of these posts. Smh

NoorksKnee · 2022-01-11T03:48:17+00:00

I normally don't post outside of subreddits that interest me, but some of this is harmful.

Social skills are absolutely important and deflecting blame from yourself isn't necessarily helpful, but this overboard. This is encouraging putting most of your efforts into getting laid by abandoning everything else, which is harmful to your self-worth. You need hobbies, stress outlets, and cool off periods where you give yourself time to breathe. Otherwise, you are going to find a general lack of satisfaction when you finally achieve your goal. You are correct that sex is a by-product of being social, but sex isn't everything.

You also don't need to "move the world" unless you actually want to achieve something meaningful. You need to learn how to tell a joke.

I am also not going to get into why this is a particularly bad time to be particularly social, but this is definitely a great time to reflect and focus on what your overall life goals are, and what you want to achieve in life, learning skills and learning who you are and what kinds of things interest you. Going out for a walk with notifications shut off is good way to clear your thoughts and process what is on your mind. If you need therapy, get it if you can. Make some friends first.

Good things follow good effort.

_Trip_Hazard_ · 2022-01-11T05:00:38+00:00

Honestly, most of this could work for women too. It's soooo easy to become a shut in that is addicted to video games.

1ecommillionReasons · 2022-01-11T05:43:21+00:00

I agree. I also advocate for spending way less time per day even thinking about girls.

Wouldn’t future (insert your name) be better off if you spent 80% of your time focused on $$$,$$$ / career fulfillment and 20% of your time on girls … ??

If it’s a Tuesday at 3 PM and I’m Not focused on $, I’m screwing over where my future self really can be after just 1 year of spending time & focusing better.

Friday-Saturday, be more social, got it. Sunday-Friday, only One focus is going to benefit me Most just 1 year from today. $ buys time & choices. Short-term dating does not.

80 20

Nikarwong · 2022-01-11T09:28:45+00:00

Going out costs lots of $$$.

olivercowlishaw · 2022-01-10T14:20:46+00:00

[permanently deleted]

MagicGnome97 · 2022-01-10T14:33:36+00:00

damn, you're not wrong

LanterQ1 · 2022-01-10T15:24:52+00:00

Still think I'm not "being social enough"?

I'm almost willing to bet you won't read the threads I made at that site nor reply with me with solid advice.

Sensitive-Permit-877 · 2022-01-10T15:04:23+00:00

Thanks needed this. I do live a busy lifestyle but also thought today why do I have zero friends lol so true

callsign__iceman · 2022-01-10T23:23:06+00:00

Bullshit. Women are human beings. They like having sex because it’s fun. If you want a relationship, then act and behave like a functional fucking person or at least try your best to not be a fucking douche and you’ll get one pretty fucking easily.

I started having sex at 16. Between 16 and meeting my wife, I slept with 22 different women and had 3-6 long term relationships depending on your definition. I met my wife at AGE 20.

They’re just people. There’s no mystical secret. Act like an interesting and good person, and that will intrigue them enough to give you a shot even if you’re just average looking. You’re overthinking it and getting into broscience when you start talking about shit like this.

Fucking armchair psychologists and your pseudoscience to “hypnotize women.” What a fucking joke lmao

chapapa-best-doto · 2022-01-10T23:33:49+00:00

I don’t know. To be honest, sounds kinda pathetic? If the only reason you’re doing all those stuff is to get laid, then my man, I’m sorry but you should try to get a life.

If I sit down at home and play video games, I’m just unwinding. If I go to the gym for a run, it’s because I want to live a healthy lifestyle. If I go to a park and read a book, that’s also me enjoying my free time and hoping to learn something from the book. If I sit down at home and code for 4 hours, I’m trying to improve my skills in hopes of landing a better job. If I spend hours on Memrise or Duolingo learning French/Japanese, that’s also me trying to learn stuff from other cultures. If I go and hangout with my friends on Saturday or Friday nights, it’s because I enjoy their company and they make me feel loved.

Do you know what doing all those tips you gave achieve? Nothing. They give nothing except a fake sense of self-worth. If you wanna move the world, I suggest you find your passion, get good at it and help the world step by step. Trying hours and hours in hopes of getting your dick wet for a night won’t do that for you. Of course, that’s assuming you wanna move the world, and not just some vain horny dude trying to get laid.

Good luck man! Oh crap, forgot I’m in the wrong sub XD But on a more serious note, try and give some good advice for real. Maybe you’re trying to sell a product or promote your channel, but don’t ruin other’s lives for the sake of earning some cash because you know a lot of men are horny and are desperate to get laid. You can always get money from doing good work.

P.S.: and just to prove you even more wrong, most of the men who moved the world actually just stay in a room. They stay in the room (well, not necessarily alone or small room) and work their ass off because they are passionate and believe in what they can achieve. Sure, they go out and do other shit. But they actually work instead of trying to meet women.

cornflake2525 · 2022-01-10T13:40:08+00:00

One of the very best posts I’ve seen on here, well said man. The amount of people that will not look inwards when trying to figure out their bad luck with the opposite sex is insane.

freakyfeb97 · 2022-01-10T20:47:53+00:00

I did everything that guy said not to do and I still got dates on Tindr.

Imreallytired2301 · 2022-01-10T16:35:17+00:00

Pretty much not give af is all. You gotta do tbh

Primary-Mirror3470 · 2022-01-10T16:53:49+00:00

Bro stop roastin me

abzze · 2022-01-10T17:53:55+00:00

This is one of the big BS posts I have seen.

Yes you can be sociable and will get laid more. Is that a secret? No shit Sherlock.

That’s like saying eat healthy and you will get healthy. Thanks for the info.

And then OP goes on to like they are revealing the secrets of the universe.

oohbeartrap · 2022-01-10T18:52:01+00:00

Lol, this cringey copypasta just reads like some self-help seminar scam. Then he plugs his social media after telling you to get off of social media.

There is no one secret to doing anything. Practice helps, but doesn’t guarantee you anything. And if half of you go out there only being social to try and get laid, it’s gonna show and come off creepy as hell. Being social helps, yeah, but only if you’re being social to be social. Unless you’re attractive, cruising for chicks every day/night is a fantasy.

Work on making yourself happy without a woman first. Once you build up confidence, that will seep into your behaviors and that will get you some attention. Not automatic sex, but attention you can work with.

Anyone that tries to sell you “one weird trick” is just clickbaiting you.

PondScum420 · 2022-01-10T20:39:27+00:00

My roommate used to always tell me”you’re not going to meet any girls here in the apartment”

Yourlocal_priest · 2022-01-11T03:50:00+00:00

I cant afford to go out fnancially , so what social events are free that i could go check out ??

Jabss93 · 2022-01-11T06:17:13+00:00

After few years I have finally come to the point where I know I can get it anytime but rn I am at a phase in my life where I want to focus on improving my finance and building my long-term career

AHigherBeing · 2022-01-11T09:27:18+00:00

And then he catches herpes

theAarma · 2022-01-10T15:12:29+00:00

that's right but it takes an immense amount of will power push yourself out of the victim mentality to achieve what you just said.

CenaSmackDown · 2022-01-10T15:27:42+00:00

Lol. if you're social with sex workers this might help you get laid. Probably not a big enough factor for that girl next door. Nice try though.

ajayt365 · 2022-01-10T18:38:34+00:00

I've met 0 women in the last year. I'm attractive but no lays when you don't meet women. Social skills have gone to rust.

the-dan-man · 2022-01-10T19:18:04+00:00

Fuck it. Why the hell do men have to put in all the work. They can take it easy, life is hard. Socialising is not all that. It is a lot of work. Constantly putting yourself out there in spaces you wouldn't naturally is counter productive.

William_Seriously · 2022-01-11T04:28:08+00:00

Lmfao.... real MEN aren't chasing skirts trying to get"laid" A Real man is looking for his True Lady to spend his life with, someone who will complete him, work with him.... grow together, someone who will be there when the shit hits the fan....

As for the Advice given in the OP..... and men wonder why women get everything in the divorce.. and why so many relationships end in. Bitterness....I wonder if the OP will ever get to make True Love.... it's totally amazing and well worth waiting for...no amount of great sex can compare with true love....

stonedundertherock · 2022-01-11T07:56:15+00:00

Get out of the house and get what? Covid?

sikes999 · 2022-01-10T14:54:41+00:00

🙏👏

Gamygyn · 2022-01-10T19:15:13+00:00

Couple of things here. Fist off, you seem very eager to indirectly promote your commercial services here. So I would start of by calling this an advicevertorial and not genuine advice. Second, although you are not wrong, I think you oversimplify the issues that a lot of us are dealing with on a daily basis. It is not as simple as just unplug your playstation and go outside to socialize. You conveniently ignore the underlying and some times crippling traumas we all suffer from. You forget how much introspective work and energy it can take for an introvert to "just socialize" I feel that with your approach you may hurt people who have issues that are not simply resolved. People who may have tried this and failed anyway because it is not this simple.

I also think you are a hypocrite for telling people to get away from the screen and youtube etc. Only to tell them to go to your website and youtube channel to get more advice about how to get away from the screen. How is that helping? How is that good advice?

thelambofdeth · 2022-01-10T13:32:30+00:00

Nah, it's bc I'm ugly and not white.

Alec784 · 2022-01-11T05:10:45+00:00

Kings, this is factual. I can attest to this personally.

prettydirtyboy · 2022-01-11T00:51:40+00:00

Dudes complain about having no women and literally don’t even talk to women. Me personally I don’t engage with women, I’m too focused on reaching 6 figures a year but the one time I decide to have some fun and go out I meet and girl and get laid. It’s literally that simple. Put yourself in position. Some men might have to cultivate their game but yea it ain’t hard

Equivalent_Current_3 · 2022-01-11T05:30:35+00:00

If I asked you how many new women you meet on a regular basis every week, you might give me a single-digit answer = 20 plus usually. i am active at a climbing gym and meet a lot of girls there.

Whole_Hovercraft4987 · 2022-01-10T13:30:50+00:00

for some, this is true, but there are still sub5s who have no chance and it's not their fault.

Practical_Run7033 · 2022-01-10T15:03:44+00:00

Holy shit, it rings true

thatblondeguy1 · 2022-01-10T18:28:41+00:00

Here take my upvote. Enjoy it you honest speaking bastard 😅

AstroTG · 2022-01-10T18:39:32+00:00

Hey there guys it's Leo here from actualized.org

MasterTeacher123 · 2022-01-11T14:54:58+00:00

Preach. These dudes don’t talk to or interact with girls.

I ask them how many girls have you hit on or asked out this month? It’s zero

SerjEpic · 2022-01-11T00:47:09+00:00

Burnt guy with knowledge

There is no way around being social. You have to push your limits even if you feel uncomfortable. It's almost like a muscle, so over time, it will get easier.

3 years ago I use to barely talk to people, even my own friends because I was so self-conscious about my scars and disfigurements. The quarantines made me unbearably lonely and depressed and after 2020 I swore I would open up. I forced myself to be more talkative in general. Walking down the street, I am the annoying guy asking you how's your day? and I start full conversations with the cashiers. I also started asking friends if they wanted to hang out or hit the clubs and bars. I don't go to them to talk to girls, I go to have fun.

All this translates to improving your confidence and chances with girls. Just this weekend I Facetimed two 2 women and set up future plans with them.

Saturday: I chatted with a NY girl that was visiting family for 2 hours and now I have a place to stay whenever I go to NY ;) and we have a date set for the next time she is in town.

Sunday: I chatted with another girl for 2.5 hours and now we plan on hitting the club and ending up @ my place Saturday.

That would not be possible I didn't develop my social skills and showed that I was confident.

Get out there you ugly mfers!

cyrusol · 2022-01-10T14:29:48+00:00

And if over the next 30 days you:

Got dafuq off of Reddit/YouTube etc

Stopped playing video games

Got out of the house every day and spoke to new people

Said yes to every social invitation you received

Your results with women would improve.

The quality of my life in general would just be in the trashcan. It would be boring as hell.

As a matter of fact Age of Empires 4, Europa Universalis 4 and Valorant are better than sex.

Socializing is the most boring thing, most despicable thing ever. I can't think of a single activity out of everything life offers that would make me want to scratch my own skin off more than socializing only for the sake of getting to know more people. I'd rather die of starvation alone in the forest. I only socialize for a specific purpose or if I have to, and that's not going to change.

You think I would be more succesful when I live an unhappy life? Go f yourself. Certainly not.

Remember this, women are moved by men who move the world.

Why should I live my life according to what women want it to be? That would be so pointless.

You can't just tell a man "Jump!" and expect him to jump just for your sake. The men who do that women don't want in their lifes anyway.

theowawausyss · 2022-01-10T17:16:09+00:00

Damn who hurt you? Tell them to do it again lol

filipvajdik · 2022-01-10T13:50:06+00:00

"Women don't like me because I'm not white" - I'm white, but I've read that women prefer men with darker skin, so what's the point of even trying when they can't like a white guy...

Professional-Reply26 · 2022-01-10T14:16:54+00:00

What are the best ways to socialize? Do you take classes, organise events or just go out? What works the best?

SIR_SKINNYPENIS69 · 2022-01-10T16:07:12+00:00

Git gud

Lefanteriorascencion · 2022-01-10T16:24:21+00:00

It works and it’s true. Once I put in work on myself ( bigger muscles, higher income) . I be found that I have less time to be social BUT the times I am social I have to invest way less effort and I get more lays for my time invested. If you find you are not getting the outcomes you want in the social realm take time to work on yourself

drgonzo17 · 2022-01-10T16:29:11+00:00

I just gave up trying to get laid. Not going to happen lol

Okayhi33 · 2022-01-10T16:46:25+00:00

As a woman I can say that YES we will still like tall men and rich men but this advice is extremely practical. It’s not rlly about just going through the motions and going to a bar and not talking to anyone. It’s about transforming your personality into warm and approachable.

wakawah · 2022-01-10T17:09:01+00:00

You mean the answer isn't "work on myself" for years as an excuse not to approach a female ever?

teebsthesimp · 2022-01-10T17:25:25+00:00

Damn I gotta give up the video games

LookingForCumpany · 2022-01-10T17:36:54+00:00

I go to a cafe almost every day but striking up a convo is difficult

b_a_d_r0b0t · 2022-01-10T18:04:06+00:00

You must be delusional because as soon as men start cold approaching, women complain that they can’t even do “insert activity “ without being harassed by men. In most social gatherings the women are either taken or not interested in dating.

creativeoutlaw44 · 2022-01-10T18:04:53+00:00

100%

bmalbert81 · 2022-01-10T18:08:50+00:00

All of this is 100% true. And it’s also why I’m Glad I got married so I don’t have to do this. Because.

nbh1995 · 2022-01-10T18:18:29+00:00

true

DagDunkin · 2022-01-10T18:31:24+00:00

Dude isn’t wrong.

Ashamed-Temporary244 · 2022-01-10T18:41:59+00:00

Basically go out to bars

cotton_i_jo · 2022-01-10T18:57:44+00:00

Nice plug at the end there fam

poly_nerdy_panda · 2022-01-10T19:11:31+00:00

u/olivercowlishaw yes going out, and listen you can actually not say much and people can be attracted to you because you listen... you also can figure out if that person is someone you want to keep talking to

Saucey_26 · 2022-01-10T19:18:36+00:00

I’m in the same boat in terms of actually conversing with single women when I go out. I live in a fairly rural area, and all the “nicer” establishments I go to by myself, are all couples, or groups of friends. It’s nearly impossible to find a single woman with the same intentions as you

Lucazzz14 · 2022-01-10T19:23:31+00:00

You would get more socially confident/charismatic through sheer practice alone.

This is the only benefit from going out and talking to people. People need to stop selling this dream that simply going out results in numbers and sex.

But being more confident in yourself, developing conversational skills and having banter will make things easier with regards to talking to women. At least the likelihood of being nervous or choking up will fall because you're just talking to another person right?

But ultimately, all you need to do is hold a conversation, have some banter, the ability to flirt, the self confidence (via body language), not looking like a depressed emo and having the basics of grooming locked down. Yes, looks do open the door and yes, being physically fitter is an advantage. But I know a lot of good looking people who are self conscious and are anxious as fuck.

Keep the dating apps. Even if you don't get matches or views, just try your luck at starting a conversation and take it from there. Use it to improve the texting game.

This is from a guy who barely meets "new women", barely socialises, only goes to the gym and mma practice and I still get numbers and a rotation going. Yes I'm decent looking but at least I don't have the personality of a potato.

nobrainxorz · 2022-01-10T19:24:09+00:00

I've never had much success walking up to a woman, blubbering and stammering because I have nothing to say, then walking away. That's my problem, and I think for a lot of people: WHAT THE EVER LOVING F**** IS THERE TO TALK ABOUT WITH A COMPLETE STRANGER???? And since I keep hearing confidence is key, how do I go about confidently doing what I already do??? How the heck are you supposed to show confidence to a stranger woman (or man, or whatever noun your preference is) when all you're doing is going up and ordering another round? Or standing in line at a grocery store? Or, say you see a pretty woman placing an order next to you, you know nothing about her, she's not expressing any interest in even acknowledging your existence, how are you supposed to break that defensive barrier in a way that doesn't come off as creepy?

AtCloseRange94 · 2022-01-10T19:25:01+00:00

The reason guys don’t get laid is because they’re not attractive and that’s it .. if women find you attractive and you’re not socially retarded or mentally ill it’s easy.

hookedonfonicsmunky · 2022-01-10T19:50:00+00:00

idk man my only problem is i'm 5'9"

Wargasm69 · 2022-01-10T20:50:53+00:00

it’s because I’m not white

Words of wisdom from a white guy

foofuufou · 2022-01-10T21:03:48+00:00

What do you do if you have no one in life to invite you out? My family is all distant, no friends (not a single one), no acquaintances. No hobbies (except the gym if that counts), and no real interests. Where do i go "be social"?

MathematicianHefty39 · 2022-01-10T22:39:13+00:00

Where the hell would I even go. And who would I even talk to?

IntelligentOutcome83 · 2022-01-10T22:39:33+00:00

Just go out and get some..... Get some hobbies , go to the store, go to the park. Just meet ppl there's options for ALL of us just need to go out and be a person. The more you do the more you will meet, one person knows others that you will meet and in six months your list of ppl will grow to a lot of ppl. You will find sin-gals out there just like you where's the good single guys I haven't been meeting them. It's life in a nut just get out of the Shell. Good luck don't over think just be yourself. From Nike : " Just do it "

AceyJim · 2022-01-10T22:51:05+00:00

but the girls in those social groups are with tall white guys no cap

Vladimir_Poontang24 · 2022-01-10T23:14:34+00:00

I find myself fighting with this but that uneasy feeling I get when asked to do something out of my social comfort zone? The vast majority of the time that uneasy feeling is just an indicator that this is something to improve on. I'm not gonna go from 0 to 100 but a gradual jump in comfort is great, and the more intimidating it sounds the more I will probably gain from taking advantage and involving myself in that social thing that's so scary. Hard to keep top of mind but when I do it's significant.

Fragmented79 · 2022-01-10T23:39:08+00:00

Great post - you can’t call yourself an incel if you’re not going out.

fireglare · 2022-01-11T00:18:10+00:00

solid advice, sadly its covid here so but once stuff gets back to normal ill get my life back together

Plutonic_blue · 2022-01-11T00:23:53+00:00

Ah once again. Simple advice for a very complex problem a lot of people go through. “Just go out and socialize bro!” Holy shit! Simply groundbreaking. Then when they do that for a year and nothing works; “hit the gym and be confident”, then that doesn’t work. “Work on yourself bro! Get your life together before you go out and date” *lands nice job, own place, responsible, buff, has hobbies and good social skills, goes out. <<< Still gets turned down and struggling….then what? Haircut while lifting weights in the shower three times a day?

Dating today sucks due to some simple harsh truths. Looks absolutely matter, more then anything. Not saying you gotta look like Denzel Washington or Channing Tatum but however your face and body structure is built is going to impact a lot of things in your life, not just dating. This is a harsh truth and the truth is usually ugly.

Secondly: average women have way more options and validation these days. Meaning the competition is even more brutal than ever. Tons of men especially are doing everything they can to self improve and yet for many it’s not enough. And then of course the shaming language when men speak out or are angry at the current affairs: “fucking incel, misogynist! The world owes you nothing” <<< *Guy gives up and sees no point anymore.

Look I’m just saying man we gotta stop blaming men for literally everything in this world. Dating is horrible for even good men these days. Thank a post progressive society for that one. I could go on and on but imma just leave it at this: the problem is much deeper than this man. Anyways I’m out before I get labeled as a woman hating misogynist incel

nic-warrior · 2022-01-11T00:25:18+00:00

Say yes to every social interaction you receive

LMAO

PureFlames · 2022-01-11T00:33:02+00:00

This isnt the case for everyone, i have a very large circle circle and go out a lot. For the longest time i had 30+ close female friends i used to go out with every week (and even more male), but platonically. The problem i had was not showing intent, and i realized this when all my female friends thought i had a high body count when we were playing a game of guessing everyones body count

H8beingmale · 2022-01-11T00:33:53+00:00

reminds me how i read a long post somewhere, that changed my perspective on interactions or on talking to women, i thought the guy hit the nail right on the head, its another reminder of something that will never change, and can't do anything about it, as in, its unfortuneately the way the world works, as in, its just as natural as an earthquake or hurricane, as in, a mans social-skills or conversation-ability, the way he talks, the way he behaves around people, impacts his ability to get laid or to get a girlfriend, his dating life, a lot more than the other way around

HarWho_Vey · 2022-01-11T00:55:27+00:00

Gotta love how the fortunate people act like it’s just bound to happen if they just go out and talk more.

Tashum · 2022-01-11T00:55:53+00:00

Hopefully if you're getting out then you're also vaccinated but also be aware that omicron is out there in full force and even with a correctly prepared and healthy immune system, you are unlikely to be unaffected to varying degrees appropriately.

This is some first principles advice though, if you're not around new women it really cuts down on options to find a partner.

haspro_ · 2022-01-11T01:51:19+00:00

No, very sociable, just ugly

virtaulslayer · 2022-01-11T02:11:20+00:00

Some of that is true. But then again working all the time making time for yourself so you decide to put you out there on social media and most times get looked at as a creep or you didn't say the right thing. Your chances of mating comes down to having a social circle but also the world we live in girls are scared and have every right to be that's a challenge itself. So if you have a mate be happy and grateful because if your not guys like myself will remind you one way or another

Web-splorer · 2022-01-11T02:32:15+00:00

Idk, I have a lot of achievements I need to unlock on my current video game. The ladies will love me when they see my 100% completion. /s.

PetroBooming · 2022-01-11T03:01:07+00:00

Yo, I have better solution just do this: K on my D + C and your favourite number should be 69

papertiger123 · 2022-01-11T03:32:31+00:00

wow oh! that's really enlighten me. thanks,bro

deliciousalmondmilk · 2022-01-11T03:41:52+00:00

also just want it. You have to want to get laid more than those other things, and understand it will not happen unless you put yourself in a position to get laid. Also, failing is absolutely fine on this front, do it early and do it often so you don't get bothered by rejection; move on and be friends with someone, we're all adults at this point.

Iroh21 · 2022-01-11T04:13:29+00:00

But video games are so funnnn

Ragnarok992 · 2022-01-11T04:29:43+00:00

If i could get more days off i guess it could work but i need my second job to survive so is hard to socialize

laddy_McTaegue · 2022-01-11T07:00:10+00:00

It’s because I don’t pursue it.

JewInABox88 · 2022-01-11T07:00:41+00:00

Spend more time at Gas Stations trying to buy a few items. Do that shit every day for a month and tell me how you really feel about people.

whomeverIwishtobe · 2022-01-11T07:30:24+00:00

I dont think if your hobbies are gaming and stuff you do by yourself that means you should just stop doing those things to meet more women.

Being social is important for a lot of reasons and will surely help you meet new women but I prefer to spend my time doing hobbies with people I don’t have romantic interest in because I’m usually there for the hobby and think it’s worthwhile or the people are equally worthwhile.

A better piece of advice still really would be do social things in places where there are many people.

Ex: the beach, sporting events, clubs, expos, conventions, the fair

This will expose your group to other groups and especially help them you play the numbers if your friend group is mostly dudes.

cheeky-splk · 2022-01-11T07:42:17+00:00

What if i lose interest pretty much fast!! How can i avoid; more so prevent; that from being recurrent?

Agreeable-Neat1358 · 2022-01-11T08:20:36+00:00

Ten four good buddy

duvetdave · 2022-01-11T09:55:20+00:00

Where the fuck are you supposed to go to meet people?! Like seriously where?! I go out and people are constantly on the move or within their friend group.

William_Seriously · 2022-01-11T10:19:24+00:00

I believe that you are truly blessed if you have One True friend... and if you can count them on one hand shit you should share your knowledge with the rest of us.... Anyway if you are truly looking for your other half, the OP is not the best way to go about finding her.... none of us are perfect, sometimes we need to walk hand in hand through someone else's shit before we can see who they truly are (vice versa)....if you want someone to accept you and your flaws maybe you need to be the man and accept someone else first and ALL their flaw's first.... I'll put it like this: In order to have a true friend, you yourself need to be that friend first. And yes my wife is my best friend....In the Era of Covid this area has only gotten harder... heck it's the only reason I even heard of Reddit..I hope you find that one, and apologize if I upset you.

ChattyBot7 · 2022-01-11T11:05:57+00:00

Oh for fucks sake ! You don't have to move the world, you don't have to do anything you don't want to. You don't have to stop doing the things you like because a bunch of women find it childish or unattractive. Maybe you get laid if you follow all this but at what cost ? Is this what you're willing to do to get laid ? Are these the values you'll adopt to get laid . Is this what you'd stand for ? If so then yes, please change yourselves to get laid. If not, trust me, you're better off chilling in pajamas playing a video game cause that's what would truly make you feel happy.

But sure, going out and saying hi to new people and initiating meaningful conversations is a good thing to do but don't do it with the sole intention of getting laid.

lmeekal · 2022-01-11T11:08:27+00:00

I work with people everyday and “move the world” right from my home. After 20+ meetings a week, I don’t fucking want to go out and meet new people. Plus I hold myself to a higher caliber and I don’t just become friends with anyone. Yes, as human beings we are social creatures but it’s all relative. Although what you’re saying does apply to a certain extent, but I don’t believe it fits everyone’s situation. Women standards and expectations have changed and evolved due to looking everything from social media lens.

Paddster123 · 2022-01-11T13:24:29+00:00

I work a shift of four days on, four days off of 12 hours, however on my days off I'm just going to try and be as sociable as possible. The only issue is that my town is relatively small and the only actual hubs to meet people are the gym and clubs (which are only open on the weekend).

thee-mjb · 2022-01-11T17:03:04+00:00

Well spoken (typed)

CapAnsonTemp · 2022-01-12T04:55:29+00:00

I'll get back out there when this covid thing clears up.

firelitother · 2022-01-12T08:03:48+00:00

Great advice for those who live in countries that have already opened up.

kevinjames416 · 2022-01-13T09:49:24+00:00

OP thank you for this post, you are right! After reading your post I suddenly got motivated and decided to go to the mall and be around ppl. When I got there I walked In a store and I got complimented on the way I dressed even tho it was a male it made my day! I will make it a habit to go out even if I got nowhere to go. THANK YOU AGAIN

Men...this is the main reason you aren't getting laid

Comments

1 find an environment and a way to simply make it FUN for You personally. Socialize w girls in a way that entertains You. They’ll Flock to the Funness vibe you’ve put time into finding and following.

Title	Men...this is the main reason you aren't getting laid
Author	olivercowlishaw
Upvotes	993
Comments	452
Date	January 10, 2022 1:21 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/s0jwf9/menthis_is_the_main_reason_you_arent_getting_laid/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/menthis-is-the-main-reason-you-arent-getting-laid.1269320 https://theredarchive.com/post/1269320