Men, what negative dating/relationship experiences have you personally had with women?

mitigated-disaster · 2024-09-01T13:53:09+00:00

Tons but the one that stings the most.

I was a scrawny loser who unlike most people was actually okay with never having a girlfriend or wife as up til this point women made it clear im hideous. So I found solace in my nerdy hobbies. Until one day some girl starts showing me crazy amount of attention. I keep my guard up (reread the 1st sentence).

But she doesn't quit. So slowly I start to return her interest and we start dating only for her to ghost me. I at first am worried about her safety. She's not returning messages etc. Until one day after like 2 months she responds with "I didn't actually even like you. It's unfair to do this to you. I was trying to make my ex jealous", thats not verbatim but the general gist of the message and she proceeds to post a picture with her new boyfriend (I presume this was her ex. I dunno).

Obviously because I had made peace with being a leper to women. This fucked my head on a different level, that's when I became bitter but oh well.

DoinIt989 · 2024-09-01T17:08:57+00:00

Girl I was dating for a couple months. Planned a nice beach date on a rare warm Fall day. She showed up hungover as fuck, 30 minutes late, with obvious hickeys.

Being ghosted after talking about future plans more times than I can count.

Lots of "hot/cold" behavior in general.

Overall, my experiences have been good. But there's some jarring shit that BP people claim "never happens" that I've seen plenty of times.

MysterySolverDog · 2024-09-01T14:41:12+00:00

Mostly just being ignored, sidelined, and placed into a box. It's difficult to describe exactly but I'll give it a shot. I have Asperger's Syndrome and for the vast majority of my life I've sensed that something was slightly off about me, then consequentially made considerable efforts to be more agreeable than most people in order to make up for it.

The results of this are weird. Women don't view me as a threat, and the vast majority of people I've met throughout my life seem to think I'm good-natured and generally likeable. However, I'm not included, I'm not somebody who anyone thinks to invite to social gatherings, and certainly not somebody any woman wants to date. They definitely think I'm strange, even if it's in a non-threatening way. In video games, you have townsfolk NPCs and the most accurate way I could describe it is that women seem to view me the same way I view these virtual townspeople. I'd be lying if I said it was 100% of women, but the number of women I've met who don't view me that way doesn't reach the double digits. The number of men who don't view me as an NPC, while still not great, is significantly higher than the number of women.

The consequence of being viewed as not fully human in the way I previously described, particularly by the gender that I am attracted to, is that I developed depression right at the end of the year 2015 and have had it ever since. Neither medication nor therapy has helped and it only seems to get worse with time rather than better.

Quiet_Firefighter_65 · 2024-09-01T15:09:22+00:00

Mine isn't as bad as everyone else's I guess.

Biggest one for me was an ex telling me, to my face, that she didn't care about me.

Seems small but I think my entire outlook and approach changed at that very moment.

purplish_possum · 2024-09-01T13:27:20+00:00

I could write a book. I'll just give three examples here:

A high school GF dumped me. When I asked her why she said I had a "funny body" (she wasn't wrong, I managed to be both tall and gangly and fat at the same time). 40 years later, when I'm a successful professional and she's on disability after her knee replacement surgeries didn't go so well, she contacted me to "catch up".
My 1st ex-wife cheated on me with a 6'6" drug dealing former Marine with washboard abs. She got addicted (to both him and drugs). We lost pretty much everything we'd worked almost two decades for including our best house which is now worth 1.2 million.
My 2nd ex-wife asked for a divorce the same day I was diagnosed with a heart problem. I sold the house I managed to save from my 1st ex-wife's addiction to pay for the post weight loss plastic surgery my 2nd ex-wife wanted. She used her new body to find a new much richer guy. (She did a lot more but I'll just leave it at that for now.)

NotReallyTired_ · 2024-09-01T19:12:36+00:00

When I was a socially anxious teenager if I wasn't ignored, pushed away, or given weird looks, most girls were incredibly rude, haughty, snarky, and mean to me. The girls who weren't openly mean, tried to lead/string me along into doing things for them or to be their personal clown by teasing me with questions about relationships/sex to make fun of me for being a virgin at the time. One experience that was humiliating was when I had a summer job in my sophomore year of HS as a candy/soda vendor, and my boss and supervisor were these two girls who were cruel. We had a cooler filled with ice where we store candy and soda inside, and at the end of every work day we would take turns dumping the ice out and put the cooler back into the storage closet that was in the conference room. One day when it was my turn to dump the ice, my supervisor told me to keep the ice inside cause they're going to use it after I leave. As I rolled it down to the conference room there was a meeting going on and the room was packed. I told my boss and supervisor if I can put it anywhere because I don't want to lift the cooler and risk spilling it on someone, they demanded me to do it or else they'll report me. So I lifted the cooler which was slush water at this point and was wiggling myself through the room, and they went silent and starting watching me. I was apologizing and saying excuse me for disturbing them, and then I accidently split it on a girl who's for the lack of a better was hood/ghetto asf and she went off on me, calling me all types of things while everyone in the room was siding with her. I turned around and saw my supervisor and boss just straight up laughing at me, and that was how I found out that they were hazing and pulling a prank on me. I cried my way into the administration office and practically begged them to place me somewhere else.

From college to today, my experiences from women went from being cruel to lead on situationships that goes nowhere. I had numerous dates with women who I'll instantly click with through text and voice notes, and once it comes to meeting in person I would get ghosted. But the few who didn't ghost me view me as a chumpy guy and would ask me for money for rent, bills, food, hair, nails, etc etc. Admittedly I used to fall for it, until I realized that I'm being stringed along. For the women who didn't ghost me or tried to get money from me, they would all of the sudden up and dip without any words or explanation. Like a flicked switch, I would scroll through texts and re-think about past conversation wondering if I did something wrong or weird, hell... this still happens even if we done something sexual or slept with each other. Overall, I'm constantly being played with and gathered so much negative experiences that I'm in a mental existential civil war with misogyny. The majority of the women I run into regardless of who they are and where they came from, for some reason adopted this spoiled princess "I'm just a girl" sense of entitlement that irks me. At first, I would think this is all just in my head and purely online, but these behaviors and attitudes are slowly seeping into real life.

Edit: I tried everything, from learning how to flirt and banter properly. How to be more personable. When to talk and shut up. Conscience of my looks and hygiene. But it's never enough and it's out of my hand.

Maffioze · 2024-09-01T17:18:36+00:00

I suspect my ex had some kind of personality disorder because unlike other people I know, there was just no way for me to make sense of her behaviour. Especially near the end of our relationship I found myself in a perpetual mindfuck trying to make sense of things.

There were red flags in the beginning, which should have made me pause, but I was inexperienced, insecure and had low self-worth because I was used to emotional abuse by my mother so I ignored them. I thought a lot of those things were either normal, or that I deserved them.

She would be very emotionally unstable, unsure about what she wanted and indecisive. She would be constantly anxious about all kinds of things and I was expected to be the stoic rock that grounded her. Even though I'm a fairly stoic and calm person by nature, since I was human I also had emotions and needs, and this eventually crashed with the ever increasing expectation to be more stoic than is realistically possible for someone to be. When I tried to bring this up she refused to understand it. I was growing increasingly frustrated with her lack of understanding of basic emotional aspects of human interaction, and confused about how she could sometimes say extremely smart things but then simultaneously not understand very basic things. As our relationship growed closer over time, she started telling me of her childhood abuse. I tried to be supportive but this was the beginning of the end. I don't think she could handle someone else knowing this, or even voicing these things out loud to herself. This is when she started to break up with me, accuse me of the most horrible things imaginable, and took her emotions as fact even when they told her things that never ever happened, only to come back the next day begging to get back together. At this point I was so burned out from endlessly playing therapist, and the pain from a complete lack of security in the relationship, that I started drifting away. I started realising that she was projecting her own behaviour on me, and that she literally acted like a 5 year-old regularly, and here I'm not being dramatic to describe a childish person, I'm talking about literally acting like a 5 year-old does to her parents with that level of emotional development. This obviously made me extremely uncomfortable and killed all sexual desire that was still left. I basically started drifting away, only not breaking up with her because I was scared she would take her own life. Until eventually we broke up and we blocked eachother on everything.

antariusz · 2024-09-01T17:45:34+00:00

2 stories in particular:

The girl that had been near to my friend group, (her friend was dating my best friend) I asked to prom said yes and seemed happy about it. An hour later her best friend came up to me, called me an ugly loser and said that she was just being polite and she didn’t actually want to go with me. I didn’t ask any girl out for 7 years afterward. (I avoided talking to the girl I asked out ever again for the remaining 4 months of high school). My boss’s wife (1 year older than me) ended up going to prom with me “as friends” (because she felt sorry for me after hearing the story. This incident made me completely give up on trying to figure out if women were ever interested in me, including one particularly embarrassing (in retrospect) time where when I was freshly out of basic training a girl was flirting with me and gave an icecream cone a blowjob right in front of me in the chow hall and I completely ignored it because I had no idea if she was interested in me.

A decade ago, I dated a girl for a year and a half, she started to treat me really badly, like was a total jerk to me and was just constantly ragging on me, since this was my longest relationship ever at this point, I assumed that she was just finally getting comfortable with me and the “honeymoon phase” had worn off. She did one particular thing to disrespect me (forced me to babysit her 2 year old child which made me late to work) (it was literally, “bye I’m going to work, Christian is watching TV and my mom should be around to pick him up in 4 hours”… and then 6 hours later her mom was still nowhere to be found and I couldn’t reach either of them by phone and so then I broke up with her after I finally found the grandmother who was currently at a hair appointment and forgot she was supposed to pick up the kid. 2 weeks later she told me she was pregnant. She had been pregnant for the previous almost 3 months. She wanted an abortion and wanted me to drive her to her appointment. I did. After the sonogram I broke down and cried in the car and told her we could reconcile and get back together and I wanted to have the kid with her and I apologized for breaking up with her. She said she was going through with it anyway. So I drove her to the next appointment and then I was staying with her at her house since she needed someone there for safety just in case. Her phone buzzed while she was sleeping, she hadn’t changed her passcode. I read a bunch of texts of her flirting with a new man (sending him sexy photos) and she had even told him about our situation and called me a “little bitch” for crying in the car after I saw the sonogram of an about 12 week old baby.

IronDBZ · 2024-09-01T18:55:02+00:00

The girl I lost my virginity to told me the next day that she didn't like my body but she really liked the dates I took her on (that I was paying for)

SillyMushroomTip · 2024-09-01T16:39:56+00:00

The one that hurts the most is my first love in highschool. To keep it brief; she psychologically manipulated and emotionally destroyed me for 2 years straight. I just didn't have enough experience with women to comprehend what she was doing to me, at the time I thought I loved her and she loved me. However the sheer amount of mental anguish I went through was so intense because of her. What hurts the most is that she toyed with me for her amusement and reveled in making me suffer, it took me 2-3 years after highschool to heal from that.

In my twenties I was in relationships but most of them ended with them cheating on me with a co-worker

In my 30s now and over decade of being with women, I haven't had much positive and mostly negative experiences.

a_minty_fart · 2024-09-01T14:40:55+00:00

Women are very open with talking about negative experiences we've had in past relationships or just with men in general and I think it would be a good thing for men to do so as well.

Just wanted to talk about this.

Women are lauded for sharing their pain. There's usually an outpouring of sympathy and a dearth of "well, what was your part in this?"

Men have the opposite experience.

thisaccountaintrea1 · 2024-09-01T21:15:44+00:00

A few that stand out:

I met my first girlfriend my freshman year of college through one of my friend groups. She was the sort of person that NEEDED to be in a relationship at all times; being very inexperienced at the time, I didn't clock this as the red flag it was. It turned out she actually had feelings for another guy in our friend group (who had a gf at the time), and she threw me out like yesterday's garbage the day he became single. While I did get a bit of vindication (the guy she dumped me for dumped her for another girl after two weeks), this gave me a cynical view on relationships for quite some time.
I had been seeing a girl for a few months, and things were going great- I legitimately thought that she could be "the one". However, several personal tragedies hit me within a short time frame (my grandfather died, my good friend committed suicide, and I had a falling out with another friend), and these, combined with my existing anxiety and depression, resulted in me having to stay a week in the hospital. The girl I was talking to gave her condolences and promised to do whatever she could to help me, but when I got out of the hospital, I found that she had blocked me on everything without so much as a "goodbye". I was really confused, so I made an alt account to check her instagram; she already had photos with another guy up. Tough shit.
Being sexually assaulted on multiple occasions.

Cunnin_Linguists · 2024-09-01T13:33:17+00:00

All of them. I'm going to be generalizing because I'm confident most men with any semblance of experience has seen these too:

Being vulnerable with a woman made her lose respect for me.
Taking women on dates who later revealed to me they're actively in a FWB or fucking other guys 🤢 and they still expect me to keep taking them on dates.
Women complaining that men having bodycount standards is unfair while holding very strict and rigid views on virgin men.
Same as number 3 but for height, wanting tall men but mad that attractive tall men tend to prefer shorter women.
The worst offender of them all, entitled women. Women who think they don't need to bring anything at all to a relationship but themselves, and that they've never done anything wrong in their lives.

Tywinlol2 · 2024-09-01T16:16:58+00:00

Every women without a fault that I had been with in LTR, that was perfectly okay to go on without marriage and kids at the beginning, had always changed her mind after a year or two. I would probably be baby trapped several times over if it wasn't for vasectomy.

Lift_and_Lurk · 2024-09-01T13:40:58+00:00

I had an ex-GF try to show up at my office, but the building security wouldn’t let her in and she caused so much of a scene the police has to be called in and she got arrested. She also snuck into my apartment (told my roommates she was just grabbing some of her stuff left behind) but what she actually got was a box of sentimental photos and things of mine from school and growing up then burned them. I had to get a restraining order.

cromulent_weasel · 2024-09-01T21:17:45+00:00

One women who I dated briefly a couple of years ago, the night we broke up, said '<bullshit reason> is probably why your kids are trans'.

That was the last time I saw her.

wtknight · 2024-09-01T13:50:50+00:00

None, really. I've been stalked and I've been hit on by cheating women, but I did not date these women. I'm pretty good at vetting people. I think that a lot of men who have problems with women are likely desperate or not particularly good at vetting women. I've never dated anyone for less than four years, and one relationship ended because I was the issue, and the other ended because of long-distance issues. I'm still married to the person who is my third relationship.

cookietoffeee · 2024-09-01T13:12:41+00:00

I'm 5'7, as such women don't even see me as a human being and the few times they like me they end up cheating on me with a taller men because only looks matter to them. I've received mental and physical abuse I've endured so much and always got payed back with garbage lol

Solondthewookiee · 2024-09-01T13:09:12+00:00

My fiancee in college cheated on me is probably the biggest one.

I also struggled with online dating for awhile before really getting the hang of it, I got basically no matches for a year or so while doing swipe apps. It was really discouraging.

abaxeron · 2024-09-02T11:34:22+00:00

Will repeat the one I already mentioned here not to give away any more personal info.

Got blamed for getting cheated on because I took too long responding to texts. She knew I was in poor coverage area with an old cellphone with damaged antenna.

xxxMisogenes · 2024-09-01T19:35:59+00:00

I have yet to meet a woman that didn' cheat, instigated breaks where they slept with other men or use my 'niceness' against me. Treating the average woman good seems to give her a complex where she either can't accept it so she runs, or see how much she can get away with

Unable_Evidence_4028 · 2024-09-01T14:43:19+00:00

Well, you are not understanding that it is not dating/relationship experiences that makes men see the flaws in women, it is men having experiences in general with women. Women don't see the problems of women because they themselves also share most of the same issues of egotism, ignorance, arrogance and intolerance. Thus, It is impossible to not generalize to other women. It just happens that when we are kids we think the issue is just our close circles, families and friends, we think that there are exceptions elsewhere, as we get older we understand it is an issue shared by women in general.

a_minty_fart · 2024-09-01T13:28:18+00:00

I know the way women treat men they don't see as hot vs the way they treat men they see as hot since I've been both.

When I was a scrawny broke loser:

Women happily confided in me, but never saw me as a person with feelings that needed to be regarded
Women engaged with me on a purely conditional basis - if I wasn't doing anything for them in the immediate moment then I was worthless.
I was never a romantic option and genuinely didn't see why women picked "assholes".
I was privy to the way women mocked guys they didn't find attractive but then got the "but no, you're different* when they realized that I was in the room.
Countless "some lucky girl is going to get you one day".

When I muscled up and got my life together though:

Women still confide in me, but they don't dump trauma related to other men.
Women gravitate towards my presence even when I'm not giving them attention and they constantly try to get my attention when I'm not giving it.
Occasionally they will forget themselves and want to fuck me. (I don't let them because I'm happily dating a nice girl)
Women don't mock men around me because they know I will call them on their bullshit and they would rather keep quiet than risk losing my presence.
Women who don't know that I have a woman keep trying to fuck me.

PMmeareasontolive · 2024-09-01T15:52:19+00:00

I had one who was a little verbally abusive. I don't recall exactly what she said because I would go into a sort of dissociative state where I would be thinking "wtf is going on here?" and be unable to process what she was saying, which I'm sure frustrated her more. Not all of what she said made sense though; she was a sophomore psyche student who was sure she could analyze on a deep level anyone at a glance, and every gesture that you made. For example, leaving a party once she went up to a small group of skinheads and said "You're just afraid to take it up the ass", and left. I recall she called me "a dildo w/ arms and legs" once, which I later thought was funny.

I wasn't too shocked though. Even though I had no experience, I somehow knew what I was getting into. In many ways, it was either this or nothing, and there were enough good things about being with her (not just sex, though that was a big deal at the time, she was also pretty clever) to make it a worthwhile experience for a while, but I never thought it was built to last.

Unusual_Implement_87 · 2024-09-01T13:08:32+00:00

A lot of them are selfish and have been in relationships without disclosing it to me, I'm always afraid I will die buy murder suicide when their boyfriends or husbands find out or walk in on us.

Also on tinder the average man has it significantly worse than women and are far more likely to be a target of a scam or getting set up to be robbed. This has happened to me once so I always make sure we meet in a public place first, and sometimes this is a huge turnoff for women who just want the first meeting to be in a bedroom.

And before I had my surgery I would maybe get between 0 to 3 dates a year, and that was with spending thousands of dollars on dating subscriptions and messaging hundreds of thousands of women and things like messaging women who created new accounts on okcupid who had no experience with online dating and would naturally have lower standards before realizing how many options they had. And even then I only had maybe 3 dates in total that went "well" as in we talked for hours where in the back of my mind I would think "Finally I'm going to have a girlfriend, or at least have a ons without paying for it" but every single time they would say they don't want to see me again.

Then I met a girl through mutual friends and it seemed like she really liked me, she would ask me about who I was dating and would ask me to go to movies with her one on one, and we would text for hours and talk about life. But when I asked her out formally she had this look of disgust on her face and instinctually said "I'm sorry I have a boyfriend" even though I knew she didn't. That was the worst I have ever felt in my life as I was 100% sure she liked me and I had so much hope leading up to asking her out. This is when I got suicidal and decided to literally try anything before ending my life. This lead me to seeing an orthodontist and getting referred to a Maxillofacial surgeon and I ended up getting jaw surgery, a BSSO, genioplasty, as well as a rhinoplasty. And it was the single best thing I have ever done in my life, my life took a 180 turn when it came to women. Suddenly I was able to get dates and casual sex from tinder and for some strange reason a lot of women wanted to be in my social circle (this is one of the main reasons I don't think men and women can be friends, one person usually always likes the other, otherwise why didn't I have a lot of female friends before my surgery? nothing else changed about my personality or behavior).

Since my surgery I've had women in hostels I've literally haven't said a word to pull me to their rooms for sex. I've had sex on first dates and many relationships since then, I'm a far leftists (Marxists) and I've even had an ex girlfriend who is a part of falun gong (right wing anti communist cult). This is why I get so triggered now when I read people on reddit say things like personality, chemistry, game, political affiliation, being a good person etc matter, and how much people downplay looks. Improving my looks is the only thing that made a meaningful change in my life in terms of sex and relationships. If personality or behavior does even matter, it's only secondary to looks and even then there are a lot of pieces of shits who have have loving relationships and active sex lives.

Plazmatron44 · 2024-09-01T22:24:25+00:00

Most women I've been involved with have been pathological liars, one girl I dated ghosted me because I was too nice (she admitted as such to a friend of mine) but then later told me I had acted inappropriately towards her or something because she didn't want to be seen as a bitch for ghosting me so she lied for reputation management.

Another lied to me and said she didn't like sex or men romantically because she had been sexually assaulted but now has a kid and is engaged to a guy.

Another led me on for ages, one time inviting me round to her house after a party, saying "we're not having sex" and waking me up the next morning with her hand on my dick, I pleasured her but she didn't reciprocate besides the most half arsed attempt at a blowjob saying sex is "too emotional" cough cough bullshit cough.

The first proper girlfriend I had dumped me because she was bored but we got back together at some point, she then dumped me again because I refused to drop everything at very short notice to go with her to look at a house she was "going to move to" which she never did. I was always helpful, patient, kind and loving towards her but was given the "what have you done for me lately" bullshit demonstrating she never loved me or appreciated anything I had ever done for her. I believe the only real reason she got back with me is because I had unfriended her on Facebook (should have blocked her) and she wanted to be in control and have the last word by doing the blocking herself.

These are just the ones I've been involved with that showed any kind of interest, I've lost count of the number of women who have been hostile towards me for no apparent reason, I didn't stare at them or say anything rude they just didn't like me. I'm autistic so they can probably sense there's something off about me, regardless my experiences with women have been mostly negative.

scwizard · 2024-09-02T05:31:48+00:00

Falsely accused of stalking/attempted rape.

Losing interest once I stopped constantly feeding her attention.

Rejected cause my horoscope is wrong.

Rejected cause my Meyers Briggs is wrong.

Warm_Gur8832 · 2024-09-01T14:15:48+00:00

In general, I’ve experienced in my life a theoretical open mindedness that exceeds that of men, but in practice, a sense that women still expect men to pay for stuff, open the car door, be dominant, etc.

You can certainly find people that are accepting of you.

But I feel like women in general overstate their degree of compassion and openness to differences

They’re not falling head over heels for pegging femboys and being a millionaire that dates cashiers, for instance.

And while that’s a bit exaggerative, I think the overall point holds - women are fine with men making progress on figuring ourselves out.

Until our self exploration gets too close to them and conflicts with their preferences

Better if we’d all just be upfront

IdiAminD · 2024-09-01T15:24:01+00:00

My hs girlfriend was cheating on me with a teacher, though i wasn't very serious about her tbh and she was imo heavy on spectrum. She remained single and she has no friends afaik. My gf met online dumped me when one guy hit on her online. Turned out this guy was a con artist that was even mentioned in tv, she was lucky because some girls contracted std from him, and some were robbed. Later she was writing to me for over 2 years to possibly get back together. She was really hot lol. My gf turned out to be control freak - she demanded immediate answers to her messages and she wanted me to move in after 1 month so she can be sure what am i doing. She got married and was reaching out to me from time to time, until i got married. She is now divorced and living with woman.

And small info for those dreaming about much younger wife - most likely she will be cheating. Sorry boys - you are wallets and stability, emotions and sex are younger guys.

Ripley_Riley · 2024-09-01T13:15:32+00:00

It's patronizing of you to act like you are doing men a favor by giving us a place to post our dating/relationship issues. You don't care; you just don't want us talking about our trauma when it's inconvenient to you. But alright, here's just a bit of what I've been through.

I was dating a woman who made it clear she thought men crying was gross, weird, and unacceptable. She dumped me out of the blue one day and I couldn't help it, I cried a little. She was visibly disgusted by me crying. I still remember the look on her face.

A woman said, point blank, "How's it feel to know I'm the hottest girl you'll ever be with?"

A woman I dated had a substance abuse problem. She lied to me about going to rehab so she could cheat on me with some guy for a month.

A woman threatened to kill herself if I left her.

That's just what comes to mind right away. There's much more but recalling it all just bums me out so better not.

BrainMarshal · 2024-09-02T00:38:09+00:00

Where, oh where to start? Okay, I'll just relate one.

I made a dumb joke about an ex-gf's favorite TV character and she slapped me for it.

This taught me that male loneliness isn't the worst thing imaginable. The worst thing is winning a relationship with women like that.

-Kalos · 2024-09-02T02:02:03+00:00

Married women seem to love me. But I would never touch another man’s wife

Wyerie · 2024-09-02T02:12:40+00:00

My cohabiting partner left me for a guy from work. Having to leave your home because someone splits up with you is the worst. I'd never live with anyone now unless I had majority ownership of the property.

PossessionUnusual250 · 2024-09-02T09:40:24+00:00

As a Gen Zer, for me it has just been dealing with mental illness: reactivity, love bombing then pulling away. I dated a woman with a disorganised attachment style among other things. Even my friends with anxious attachment styles drive me a bit nuts because it strains the friendship when you disagree with how they handled a situation, etc. Attachment issues pervade the quality of every relationship you have.

A lot of Gen Zers seem relatively stable when single but everything becomes explosive when they date.

Politics is also something I am very even keeled on and would date someone left or right, within reason. However, I’ve met a lot of women who are intensely one way and it’s a bit exhausting to be walking on eggshells.

Overall, people generally and especially dating make me feel absolutely awful, mentally and physically. I’m not hugely experienced, but nevertheless have been abstinent for a while and feel much healthier, more productive and I feel stronger. It is easier to think and my mind is clearer.

trombonesandpuns · 2024-09-01T19:03:33+00:00

As others have said, many but the worst was my ex I was engaged to. After she broke it off, we rode out the rest of the rent in our apartment, only two months. But she made those two months a living hell for me.

She was bringing any and every hookup she could over immediately after the breakup, sleeping with them in the bed we used together (we didn't have another bed). She would even beg me to leave the apartment and go see a movie or something so she could bring these guys over. She also moved out a week early and only left me with a desk chair and shower curtain LINERS so I could shower (because the shower curtains were hers, of course).

That was only a fraction of what happened in those two months. I'm still so screwed up 2 years later that I don't feel comfortable sleeping in beds thanks to getting to sleep in the stains of other men for 2 months while she said she still loved me.

SoldierExcelsior · 2024-09-02T04:26:05+00:00

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odd_cloud · 2024-09-02T01:20:15+00:00

Many rejections, some of them rude. Nothing really dramatic.

ta06012022 · 2024-09-02T04:54:17+00:00

Years ago a girl slapped me in the face. Hard.

I knew her through friends and had turned her down when she tried to get with me. She didn't take it great, but seemed to move on. Then she (conveniently) ended up dating one of my roommates a couple months later.

Then one weekend night, I got home from a bar and my roommates were all still out. The girl shows up (very drunk) and I let her in. Her boyfriend/my roommate is on his way home at this point, so we're standing in the kitchen making small talk and waiting for him to get there, and all of a sudden she just slaps me in the face hard and starts ranting fuck you, you fucking asshole, etc. Fairly shitty experience.

LordShadows · 2024-09-02T11:27:36+00:00

Date:

An ultra feministe who told me she might be a lesbian and tried to convince me that when women abuse men, it's men's fault, while when men abuse women, it's also men's fault.

A hyperactive girl (like too much for me and I'm litterally diagnosed with ADHD) that told me she was there for a week as she was staying with her usually long-distance boyfriend.

Relationships:

A girl who accused me from not being able to read her mind because that's apparently what you're supposed to be able to do when you "truly" love someone (word for word what she said). Also extremely jealous, which is funny as she confessed to me she cheated with someone. She confessed that seconds after we broke up.

A girl who was bipolar and borderline. Could randomly go full screaming match, ugly crying, panic attack, or suicidal impulse. Somehow, the burnout and depression I did when I was with her was not real and me not "trying hard enough".

pence_secundus · 2024-09-03T06:14:28+00:00

I'm a pretty good looking guy, A lot of the issues I've had were seeing how willing women who were in relationships were to cheat with me when I was younger, they would openly talk down about their husbands and bfs too while we were hooking up.

In my early 20's I didn't meet a single woman who wasn't down to cheat, the whole thing threw me off of getting into any serious relationships for over a decade.

kvakerok_v2 · 2024-09-03T07:16:21+00:00

I was a chubby, average kid up, sub 5 in looks, so I was a ghost to girls. Then I hit puberty, grew a foot over the summer to over 6 feet, my looks, voice, all improved to just over 8. The tide of hoes that hits you like a tsunami is unreal.

Some excerpts from my life:

A woman locks eyes with you in a packed bus, and leans forward just enough to flash you her tits.

Two young women chase you down the street, demanding you fuck them.

A random girl on the bus sits on your lap.

A married woman from work starts sexting you.

Another married woman from work tries to take you to a motel under false pretenses.

Another married woman from work wants to fuck you in a bathtub at a house party.

Another woman from work invites you over for wine, then there is an obligatory "I'm usually not like that" before she fucks 5 minutes later.

These are non-exhaustive, most egregious examples. I've lost count how many times women and men have hit on me.

Comfortable-Dare-307 · 2024-09-26T17:35:42+00:00

My ex-wife is bipolar and a sex addict. She always wanted it. I always gave up and gave in. There were times I would be blackout drunk only to find out we had had sex the night before. I finally stood up for myself and said no and she cheated and got pregnant.

I have never been in a loyal relationship. Every woman I've been with for a significant period of time has cheated on me.

kongeriket · 2024-09-02T09:40:01+00:00

At my big N-count one would expect I'd have horrifying stories but... I really don't. Mostly thanks to my grandma and my father who fed me red pills before reaching puberty.

The worst relationship experiences would be these two:

The third girl I boned was also boning someone else. I was aware of that and was okay with the FWB arrangement (she was a very good fuck). Trouble is... at some point she wanted exclusivity just when I was getting closer to an older woman. I refused her demand for exclusivity, thanked her for the wonderful moments and I thought that was it. Well, I was wrong. She stalked me for months. She went at my new gf's house (again, an older woman) and caused a scene there, police had to be called, the whole nine-yards. Finally after about 6 months she stopped stalking me but she would still call me from random numbers every three weeks or so and sent SMS with weird rants. Eventually she moved to another country. Whew!

After the older woman had to move to another country and logistics made our relationship impossible, I took her advice and looked up for a new girlfriend rather than wait for her (thank God I took her advice, in the long run anyway). The gal that I got involved with was really sweet and almost a perfect match. We were together for 18 months and then... she disappeared. Like,... literally. Her apartment was empty, her family was also gone. Like they never existed. Phone numbers disabled. The whole thing. Like a movie scene, lol. Many years later I found out that she and her family moved on another continent. I found out the country and the city. In 2018 I had the opportunity to meet her as I was in the same city... but eventually decided against it. I suffered for half a year asking myself what tf happened. I really loved her and their family had been nice to me as well. Heck, we met at her place and spent the week-end together all normal just three days before she and her family vanished.

After that, I went full player for almost two years, accrued dozens in the body count, spun all the plates and then, at some point, I've had enough of that too and started dating for marriage. Six months later I met my current wife.

Overall, I remained acquainted with most of my FWBs and some of former ONS. Heck, I even hooked up some of my ex-FWBs with their current husbands/boyfriends.

In dating, I have more common stories:

scheduling a date and then not showing up
getting physically violent when I rejected her (happened at least 5 times to me, but once pretty bad, she threw a heavy ashtray at me. If I hadn't dodged that one I would've probably been stuck with a deformed face)
ridiculous demands (she wanted me to spend the equivalent of a monthly minimum wage on a date with her, lol)
weird mind games (this salted me from dating my own age peers and oriented me towards older women for years)
more ridiculous demands (like having me wait for 2 months to have sex, lol)

The red pills helped a lot in avoiding crazies. It wasn't full proof but still overall better than what more naive guys have had to go through.

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MikeArrow · 2024-09-02T01:52:18+00:00

I can't say I've ever really had a negative experience. All the women I've gone on dates with have been lovely, polite, well adjusted, etc. I'm thankful I haven't had to go through anything like the stories here.

The biggest complaint I can raise is that they lost interest in me after the date, which is more on me than it is on them.

Title	Men, what negative dating/relationship experiences have you personally had with women?
Author	alphamaker420
Upvotes	40
Comments	292
Date	September 1, 2024 12:42 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1f6di71/men_what_negative_datingrelationship_experiences/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/men-what-negative-datingrelationship-experiences.1529066 https://theredarchive.com/post/1529066

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