I see so many men claiming that they want a “good girl” type who is a virgin or low-n, quiet, sweet, no drinking, smoking, or partying, not a lot of makeup or revealing clothes, no tattoos, maybe a bit of a plain Jane, but that’s okay as long as she’s thin and has long hair. That seems to be the consensus. However, I do not often see these girls/women actually being in demand. Back when I was pretty much like this, in the prime of my youth no less, thin, long hair, I was not in demand. I do much better now that I am older, party more, don’t sleep around but am clearly more experienced, have visible tats, and am supposed to be much less desirable overall. And not just for hookups and inappropriate attention, I’m talking dates and respectful attention.

It seems to me that men really are more apt to pursue the more outgoing, fun, more flashy girls, even if they have high n-counts, bring drama, or do things most men say they don’t like. And not just for hookups, women like this don’t ever seem to be single when they don’t want to be. It’s the girls who want to wait for marriage, the nerdy girls, the shy plain janes, who always seem to be perma-single.

So what’s going on here? Are men’s stated preferences not their actual preferences? Or perhaps, do the men who are vocal about their preferences on the internet not represent a majority of men irl? Or am I wrong entirely? It seems like people often point out incongruences between what women say they want and actually go for, so I thought this would be an interesting topic to explore.