Who has it harder in dating? Men or Women and Why?

Able-Imagination3695 · 2023-10-12T20:22:55+00:00

Men have it harder, but not to the degree this sub makes it sound. Men have a lot more to prove to women than vice versa, and the bulk of the pursuit is on them.

I"m a woman and quite frankly, the odds are in our favor. I don't really think too highly of women that stay complaining about love and relationship, because a lot of times, the problem really is coming from inside the house. Great men exist everywhere, but they're aware of their value and they'll be doing their share of screening too.

The big issue with women is that they refuse to do the work necessary to make sure they're making better choices in men and then they want to blame all of men for their trash choices. While I understand that the bar is in hell and that there's a lot of bad mixed in with the good, you have to be smart about who you choose and I just don't see a lot of women making it a priority to fix their picker. There's a weird learned helplessness and cluelessness that a lot of those same women express as well that honestly irritates me.

baiser_vole · 2023-10-12T20:01:18+00:00

In general, men would most likely have to put more effort in. Male libido breeds simps and a lot of men going for the same younger women should only increase the competition and the standards. Many men like to date younger, and a good number of women do not have an issue with dating within the dating age rule and that screws up the competition especially for younger guys.

TSquaredRecovers · 2023-10-12T20:19:32+00:00

I would say that women have it easier due to having more options. And contrary to what many here believe, there are plenty of guys who are happy to transition from a FWB situation to a full-fledged relationship. At least that’s been my experience, and other women have said they’ve had similar experiences. So, all in all, I think women have an easier time obtaining both sex and relationships.

throwaway164_3 · 2023-10-12T19:57:51+00:00

By far and away women have it easier

wtknight · 2023-10-12T22:58:24+00:00

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Safinated · 2023-10-13T00:18:01+00:00

Women have it easier because men are thirstier. Does anyone not know this ?

MidoriEgg · 2023-10-12T19:46:00+00:00

In terms of ease of finding a partner, women have it easier. In terms of things like physical saftey and reputation issues, men have it easier.

0ffnliner · 2023-10-12T20:43:09+00:00

Men definitely has it harder. But I wouldn't say women has it easier; in relationship, all is hard. But entering one has become immensely difficult for men these days. Speaking as a woman, most women can go with or without relationship so rejecting others comes easy. Men rejecting one woman one time in his 20s could mean losing half a lifetime worth of opportunity - and that's for majority of men it seems. I've never heard women regret rejecting another guy before. But most guys have thought about missing a "chance" with someone a whole lot more.

Delifier · 2023-10-13T08:08:53+00:00

Women have a harder time finding someone they like. Men have it harder finding someone to date at all.

DecisionPlastic9740 · 2023-10-12T23:37:58+00:00

Men have it harder because most have very limited options.

efroggyfrog · 2023-10-12T21:47:25+00:00

Men have it harder finding a date. Women have a harder time dating because their standards are ridiculous.

howdoiw0rkthisthing · 2023-10-12T19:54:26+00:00

I’m okay with saying men have a harder time in dating. I don’t think that means they automatically win the oppression Olympics though.

-Shes-A-Carnival · 2023-10-12T22:11:44+00:00

what does it matter? men probably have it harder, they are the pursuers and women are the pursued. women arent going to stop thinking their own problems exist just because men have it harder and theyre not going to make it any easier for men. stop maundering on this and go read the red pill and learn how to meet and fuck women, only talking to men can help any of you

Objective_Ad_6265 · 2023-10-13T11:41:00+00:00

I have to admit that I think generaly on average men have it harder. Because as a woman, yes, you have to go through trash of bad men, men who only want to use you for sex... But as a man you have to actively aproach women and text first on dating apps. And I think it's still easier to look for a pearl in a trash that comes to you than actively reach out.

chalkandapples · 2023-10-12T20:38:10+00:00

Women has it easier in dating specifically, in terms of finding someone. But women have a lot of other issues that will impact the dating experience negatively. Things like being physically more vulnerable and and sexually I don't think the experience is as great and carefree as it is for men.

wtknight · 2023-10-12T22:48:08+00:00

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Holiday_Artichoke_86 · 2023-10-12T20:32:32+00:00

Woman struggle is that the most of the houses they go, it's always dirty and messy, Man's struggle is that they are living on the streets

Rogue5454 · 2023-10-12T22:35:17+00:00

Both do for different reasons. The main issue is a disconnect in respect for each other due to dating apps & that it’s made people a product instead of human beings.

Dating apps were never intended to work. They’ve always been intended to make money. They keep men in low margins of being “seen” by the women they swipe on because they KNOW men are their biggest target.

That said, dating apps have “vices” that men tend to fall for (statistically) more than women.

When they were created, many men still didn’t see women as anything other than an object yet here’s a place now to “look through” what previously was just in “magazines” for them but now with endless swiping of options to get addicted to like gambling for the next best thing (to win) making this objectification even WORSE.

Women mostly are on dating apps to find a partner, but instead are using a designated spot with ZERO safety precautions in place & where the worst of the worst can easily peruse & prey (instead of having to search for in public which was way harder to do). A place where men will lie about wanting relationships when they just want sex yet women keep using them & getting duped over & over.

Nothing is going to change & discord between the genders will continue unless dating apps are banned & people start interacting more in person again.

Blame_the_Muse · 2023-10-12T19:39:03+00:00

Undesirable people have it harder in dating

Nellylocheadbean · 2023-10-12T21:38:54+00:00

I think each gender has it harder depending on the stage of dating. Prior to the relationship/sex men have it much harder since they’re basically trying to prove themselves. After a relationship has been established and/or sex between the 2, women have it harder because men have constantly stated how they can be with women that they have no emotional ties and women are more vulnerable after relationship has been established.

Lysa_Bell · 2023-10-12T20:24:27+00:00

Dating is like being thirsty.

Men are in the desert. Women are in a swamp.

Everyone is stuck in a shitty situation. It's just different.

catchtowards12345 · 2023-10-12T19:50:32+00:00

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InjectAdrenochrome · 2023-10-12T22:32:25+00:00

I think women have it easier, but in my personal experience as someone who likes to date maniacs, it's definitely not that easy. In fact most of my experience is with dating men suffering from mental illness problems so I'm not actually a good person to ask this question.

catchtowards12345 · 2023-10-12T19:40:06+00:00

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MacaronFinancial · 2023-10-12T20:35:38+00:00

Women do not need to date to get their needs met. Dating is a game to get to things you like and not an end in itself.

Women can get a child without having the maturity for a relationship while it's illegal for men to rent a womb where I live.

I should not have to mention sex or compliments.

hungrychick404 · 2023-10-12T19:49:33+00:00

If you’re only talking about heterosexual men and women, I think they both struggle based on the fact that hetero men and women are becoming so different. I see men and women as having different goals from each other, different values, different politics. They generally expect different things out of relationships. Seems exhausting

jadedrosary · 2023-10-12T21:02:08+00:00

They both have it hard. Men have to be nearly godlike to get the attention of women. Women are inundated with a thousand dudes trying to get their attention practically everywhere. Men risk their social standing and possibly risk their careers and jail time. Women risk their lives. And the modern world, for all its benefits, does a really shitty job of setting out a clear path that both "teams" can follow that will lead to a good, or at least acceptable, result. So we have a huge mess.

baiser_vole · 2023-10-12T19:43:17+00:00

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lady_ven0m · 2023-10-12T23:51:51+00:00

Men struggle with loneliness in the sense that they don’t have as many options (for sex or relationships) and women struggle because they get too much attention from all the wrong guys (looking for only access to sex/her body) and it’s difficult to find a truly compatible match.

melindabrown2023 · 2023-10-12T19:42:33+00:00

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retal1ator · 2023-10-12T21:13:43+00:00

Before 25, women. After 30, men.

EDIT: I meant it’s easier for women before 25, easier for men past 30.

catchtowards12345 · 2023-10-12T19:43:32+00:00

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Angels_hair123 · 2023-10-12T20:58:11+00:00

Men crawl through a desert of loneliness trying to find an oasis while women drown in a sea of attention and they can even drink more of the water because it's salt water. It's more of pick your poison.

Trouvette · 2023-10-13T00:39:04+00:00

I don’t think any one gender has it harder. I just think both face radically different challenges that make it difficult to relate to or compare.

Wide-Aside-7610 · 2023-10-12T20:37:01+00:00

Women. Men care so much abt hookups, we don’t know who actually likes us and who just uses us as a toy

Icy_Ordinary2025 · 2023-10-12T20:03:56+00:00

Women.

Decision fatigue, threats of violence, lonely and angry men who blame women, cold approaches, etc.

CroomagnumTX · 2023-10-12T21:57:25+00:00

Ranking from hardest to easiest: 1. Undesirable/Ugly/Short/Broke Guys 2. Ugly/Fat women 3. Plain Guys (not short, not broke) 4. Plain women 5. Attractive women 6. Attractive Broke guys 7. Attractive not broke guys

operation-spot · 2023-10-12T22:39:15+00:00

I think women have more options than men but the vast majority of those options aren’t good or compatible. I truly believe a lot of men are not worth the trouble they would cause me but that’s just my opinion.

I hope men can find a way to support each other socially and reduce their libido because I believe those are the major issues they’re facing today.

At the end of the day, I don’t think there’s any reason to make this type of comparison or value judgement because the difficulty of your own life does not negate how someone else feels.

Dry-Cricket3524 · 2023-10-13T02:06:27+00:00

Men, mainly because they are big losers with inflated egos.

(Not every dude, just the ones that specifically have trouble with dating)

mlo9109 · 2023-10-12T19:59:39+00:00

Seeing as women are just used for sex at best and run the risk of actual murder at worst... Yeah, I'd say us.

thetruthishere_ · 2023-10-13T01:58:46+00:00

I think men have it harder in some aspects but really both sides face crap. They are just different issues. I think both sides are close to 50/50 on things they face.

Women may fear being assaulted/raped, abused, etc over a man when dating but a man may have a harder time getting dates. This is a basic general examples if you catch my drift.

Reality both sides face baloney.

Least_Ride1826 · 2023-10-13T22:34:04+00:00

Obviously women lol — at this point, isn’t that just common knowledge?

darkredpintobeans · 2023-10-12T23:29:19+00:00

I sympathize with the loneliness and rejection a lot of men face, but I'm still going to have to say women. This is especially dependent on location for instance my state has a super high DV rate it's like 40% or some crazy shit and some places it's not even illegal to kill your wife. Women are most likely to be killed by a romantic partner, more likely to be abandoned if they get sick, expected to do the majority of labor in the relationship and household. It's summed up pretty well in the stats that say married men live longer and married women lose a few years.

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catchtowards12345 · 2023-10-12T19:53:11+00:00

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MiddleZealousideal89 · 2023-10-12T21:47:51+00:00

I'd say both groups have their own struggles. A lot of guys struggle with finding a partner, a lot of women struggle with finding someone who likes them for them, and not just for being a woman-shaped object. When it comes to proper relationships and not just the process of getting into one, it's rough for everyone. It's difficult to find someone who you not only like, but who is also compatible with you in terms of values, interests, plans for the future, lifestyle, habits, etc., and who is open to compromising and having genuine discussions about your shared life. I've dated some lovely people who just wanted different things and we ended up not working out but now we've found what we were looking for. Finding a right person for you isn't easy, and it can take a while before you yourself figure out exactly what you want out of a relationship.

TaemonDocks · 2023-10-14T22:32:28+00:00

Men have it harder. They have to look good, smell good, be charismatic, have money for dates, be masculine, chivalrous, and so on. AND this doesn't include the multiple times they get rejected throughout this process.

H8beingmale · 2023-10-15T05:13:22+00:00

well its far more common for men than for women to reach a certain age and have always been alone, never dated, than the other way around, i'm sure no doubt most 30 and 40 year old people in the world who have never been with anyone, are male.

Ectoplasmic1984 · 2023-10-15T21:06:49+00:00

there will always be more male wizards than female wizards, that is a fact

Who has it harder in dating? Men or Women and Why?

Comments

The dating equivalent

Title	Who has it harder in dating? Men or Women and Why?
Author	Vegetable-Rub3418
Upvotes	3
Comments	362
Date	October 12, 2023 7:35 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/176fdre/who_has_it_harder_in_dating_men_or_women_and_why/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/who-has-it-harder-in-dating-men-or-women-and-why.1234906 https://theredarchive.com/post/1234906