What’s the missing ingredient that holds a lot of guys back from really connecting with women?

putcoolusernamehere · 2022-09-15T17:48:05+00:00

Willingness to get rejected. If you’re not getting rejected very often, you’re not putting yourself out there enough.

zapadz · 2022-09-15T17:46:32+00:00

Non neediness

Presence

Vulnerability

Humor

Ability to create Sexual tension

Attractive body language and voice

Preselection

Escalation

aceswild8 · 2022-09-15T18:56:40+00:00

Emotional and communicative intelligence. Honesty. And a stellar sense of humor.

IceColdBrewsz · 2022-09-15T18:26:50+00:00

Game and Experience. It's a weird balance because to get dates and more women you need experience. However, most girls don't wanna date a guy who has no game and experience. So it's a catch 22 for most guys.

Ambitious-Ice2357 · 2022-09-15T19:31:50+00:00

Women are attracted to men they find attractive. They’re not that different then men. Attraction is what sparks initial interest. Once attraction is established then personality, shared interests and other factors come into play.

Exmerus · 2022-09-15T18:28:46+00:00

Having an actual functioning brain. We men can be so stupid at times and blow great chances for legit no reason. You don't have to be smart all the time, but having a spark of quick thinking can sometimes help you close

SwimComfortable7465 · 2022-09-15T17:48:54+00:00

Honestly a sense of relevancy.

Why should this women consciously or subconsciously care about you compared the other confident guys? How/Why would you even be a type to her?

These need to be purposeful aspects/tactics that it doesn't look like your trying to communicate, that's just who/how/what you are, at least to her.

ILostFull1 · 2022-09-15T18:25:05+00:00

I think people be really be trying to solve this mystery. Bro life is life. The shit is the way it is exactly for us to reproduce and keep the species going on. Let nature take its course why bother I mean if you wanna study this down to the perfect science, when you should just have the balls to make the right decisions in the moments that matter. Being a man isn’t hard it was meant to be exactly the way it is. My advice just laugh at it, it’s not your fault but if you want to chase a fantasy go for it. Just don’t be saying shit about masculinity, and what makes someone a man or not. If you feel like the man, guess what YOUR THE MAN.

Yamochao · 2022-09-15T19:49:33+00:00

Not just fucking chilling and treating them like people. Seriously.

If you're reading this, the fact that your worldview leads you to this sub for diplomatic advice-- as if women were an alien species or combative that needs strategizing around --this internal outlook is the major reason you're not connecting.

Normal_Tutor391 · 2022-09-15T19:28:21+00:00

normal behavior + really good looks

-TimeTravel- · 2022-09-15T20:24:44+00:00

What do women have to work on? If feel like guys have so much factors they work on.

Slight_Election6046 · 2022-09-15T22:31:55+00:00

Rejection is nothing because there's girls out there that will give you a shot Don't take it personal. There's girls out there you'd say no to also

SnooHesitations4922 · 2022-09-15T17:49:54+00:00

If we are talking western hemisphere and progressive societies, the answear is masculinity. A person can have all the looks and confidence in the world but is useless unless conveyed in a masculine manner.

Make no mistake,, weak men are the cause of all difficulties in modern dating. They just roll over and cave into all the social programming and brainwashing and actually start believing masculinity is toxic and catering to what woke society says is correct, then wonder why they can't gain a woman's respect.

Think_History_5682 · 2022-09-15T19:27:39+00:00

ability to 100 percent carry a conversation

Ability to Navigate a conversation that will only floursh if you talk about her.

Ability to intuitively know what a paticular womans triggers and anxieties are so she doesn't red flag you

Ability to make a woman laugh and not even remotely intersect with her anxieties or triggers

Ability to tolerate standard stale tedious sex abilities

Ability to tolerate or navigate mental illnesses

TiberZurg · 2022-09-15T18:30:05+00:00

It all boils down to authenticity: truly expressing yourself and what's inside of you. Not hiding behind a front out of fear. Saying what you want to say without being afraid of how you'll appear. Humor, presence, sexual tension, all flows from authenticity. But true authenticity can only arise once you're calibrated and have enough experience.

Cscottbowser · 2022-09-15T22:27:23+00:00

Basically everything, to fall in love you need to like a person, find them attractive, have things in common so you can interact as friends then there needs to be the setting where your both gonna find yourself alone , have that moment where you feel the gravity, chemistry, the electricity, lust then desire to make our , fall in love and become obsessed with one another.

The way people practice having a defensive armour , having a gaurd up and the way society cuts everything off , kills the vibe, ruins the chances and then there is fear of rejection if you try to be brave and tell someone you like them because you can’t find a way into that perfect scenario.

That and woman’s expectations are too feckin high. If your not muscles, educated, rich tall , dark and handsome a guy has no chance.

Enough said.

TruSiris · 2022-09-15T17:48:24+00:00

Authenticity.

NilacTheGrim · 2022-09-15T17:40:12+00:00

[permanently deleted]

cronasminate · 2022-09-15T19:22:44+00:00

Every guy will have different sticking points and they'll have to smart enough to realize it and then put in a lot of work to fix it. That's the one missing or SECRET ingredient no one wants to admit.

It's the only thing. But noone wants to get it because it's hard so you keep looking for tricks. Same way fat people keep looking for a trick on how to lose weight when it's literally eat less food.

nendsnoods · 2022-09-16T01:40:27+00:00

Emotional intelligence

AyoAlej · 2022-09-15T20:34:18+00:00

Trying

burncushlikewood · 2022-09-15T21:44:36+00:00

Confidence, but most importantly some men don't know how to talk to women and get to know them, also putting her on a pedestal, treat her like your equal, don't get friendzoned

nojremark · 2022-09-15T21:55:35+00:00

Being genuine 🙂

Individual_Minute168 · 2022-09-15T22:31:25+00:00

Social skills

great_account · 2022-09-15T22:52:17+00:00

True connection will exist when you can talk to a woman without an ulterior motive. It's ok to want sex, it's ok to want a girlfriend. But if you frame all your interactions through that lens, you can miss the person sitting in front of you.

weddle55 · 2022-09-15T23:23:30+00:00

Listening?

AshyBoneVR4 · 2022-09-15T23:58:49+00:00

Expecting sex.

When a lot of guys talk to women they're attracted to, in the back of our heads our thoughts end up on sex. Can we get some, will I say something stupid that will fuck up my chances, or something along those lines. When you think like this you are approaching the person with the mentality that you want something from them.

This makes most guys come across as awkward, needy, or just straight up creepy. So even if getting laid is an after thought, the more that you approach someone with that wanting mentality the harder it is to make a genuine real life connection. This is why a lot of times people say to find someone that you have a lot in common with. It gets you to focus on things other than sex, or wanting the person to like you.

TheIgnobleSavage · 2022-09-16T09:21:35+00:00

Meeting and interacting with women in person. Go to bars, clubs, coffee shops, book stores...anywhere women naturally gravitate. Dating apps are ok but pales in comparison to just meeting women in a natural environment.

wintergreen233 · 2022-09-15T23:04:28+00:00

For me? Intellectual depth and curiosity. The majority of men I meet just aren’t curious about the world (to be clear, I don’t think this is a gendered trait — I’m sure women are the same). They don’t tend to explore complex ideas or topics in any real depth, and just aren’t able to hold interesting, challenging, wide-ranging conversations.

The ones that can, though? As long as they fall anywhere in the broad bracket of my physical type, I’ll probably become wildly into them.

Contango6969 · 2022-09-15T18:53:39+00:00

Hmm there are a million answers. I think one of the things that is taught probably too much is to “be masculine” imo. Guys take that to mean scowling, clenching their jaw, being overly direct, never participating in the silliness of women etc etc. Acting like this is maybe required if your appearance is not very masculine. But if you’re physically normal or above average in terms of looking masculine then it’s definitely overkill. I feel like one of my secret weapons is that I can talk to a girl about Harry Potter, vampire diaries, astrology and lots of things I might not look like I would know anything about. It comes as a surprise to them and makes me more interesting I think. Remember girls respond to how you make them feel. Be fun and have a big personality, display a childlike zest for life. The sweet spot is not hyper-masculine imo.

Odd_Delay_603 · 2022-09-15T20:59:18+00:00

Looks don’t matter that much tbh, if a man isn’t afraid to like whatever or show his feminine side then he is extremely attractive to a lot of people.

ZoeticLark · 2022-09-15T21:53:03+00:00

Understanding pacing would help. We cant just drop everything just bc they show interest. Some of us are actually busy and require time to make room for someone new, and build a new foundation of trust but with the illusion of infinite "options" there is little to no time allowed for things to grow and develop naturally these days. Friendship is frowned upon even though that is the best way to build trust. Courtship/pacing seems like a dead concept. Of course you still have to read the situation for what it is, but i cant tell you how many times ive made a plan for date, had a busy couple days bc my schedule is just like that some days working 9 to 9 and when i check back day or two before the date, they are gone, possibly bc i wasnt messaging daily. Not everyone wants to be texting all day every day. Not everyone is tied to their phone. I get that some people are flakes and dont show up after they make a plan but there is rarely a question about whats happening or curiosity, just bad assumptions and generalizing, as if we're just sitting there purposely "making" them feel whatever their unsecurity is. You have to treat each person as an autonmous person with unique life circumstances, and communicate expectations, without basing a decision to ghost someone on bad assumptions, or generalizations, or we'll always keep missing the mark with each other, majority of the time.

Last guy i went on some dates with, broke it off bc of a work related issue and said maybe in a few months the trouble will be resolved but he had to focus on that. He messaged me a week later (on the day we had planned to get together before he broke it off) and was disappointed i didnt still have time to go out. I apologized and said i thought we werent going to date now so i made other plans since nearly a whole week had gone by. He changed his mind without informing me until the day i had orginally set aside for him. I think he didnt understand how hard it was to start to make room for someone only to have them change their mind, inform me via text, and then change it back, with no advanced notice. I needed a conversation to understand what changed and time to adjust. But he never responded to my questions about what ifs. I was kind but had some valid concerns. So either he assumed i was seeing someone else already and was pussy footing to blow him off and avoid saying so, or he just didnt want to answer questions about changing circumstances and just wanted to see me when he felt like it, and have me be open and available always. I am not psychic and felt confused about what he wanted and when. I had already stopped going on new dates bc i really liked him and it was kind of hard to just end it abruptly and then pick it back up on a whim without some clarity on where he was at and how we were going to navigate this in some way other than just him ending it again via text, down the road. Due to the circumstances of his work issues i didnt pursue it further. I was kind but genuinely curious and i wondered if maybe he just didnt like to be questioned. But thats the reality of an actualy relationship. Youve got to be able to talk and resolve conflicts and that takes time, compassion and patience.

Expecting a new relationship to have zero bumps and just be exactly what you want, when you want it, is totally unrealistic.

New_Rough_5528 · 2022-09-15T22:50:52+00:00

Talking about their feelings…

Senior-Dot387 · 2022-09-15T23:09:04+00:00

I know you said other than confidence but confidence really is the key. I don’t mean having confidence, I mean showing it.

Cactus2711 · 2022-09-16T01:17:16+00:00

The ability to make her feel something she doesn't feel with anyone else.

Ysfysfd · 2022-09-16T01:24:09+00:00

Truely connecting with someone requires a level of honesty most PUA are uncomfortable with and a partner that is willing and open. First be brutally honest with yourself and discover who you really are, your authentic self. Second be honest with her, start incrementally. Connecting means letting somebody in, being vunerable and seeing all the parts. The good, the bad and the ugly. In true connection there is always a risk of one or both parties getting hurt.

The hard part is not connecting but maintaining the connection. Recognize that it takes two to tango. When coming from a place of authenticity all falsehoods will disappear and only truth remains.

PUA is a numbers game but only a specific subset will have a. The correct mindspace for connecting b. Compatibility of personality c.emotional maturity

If you find you're having problems connecting you either have internal issues that need sorting out first or you have been trying to connect in the wrong way or with the wrong woman

There is saying where i'm from that goes something like: discover who you are and be it on purpose

oreomugen18 · 2022-09-16T02:17:00+00:00

Understanding when to walk away if you aren't having any success with women. Either to re-evaluate things, or stop completely and put that energy into gaining new skills, or accomplishing goals.

Cynical_Doggie · 2022-09-16T07:33:15+00:00

3 inches

Mundane-Currency5088 · 2022-09-15T18:50:05+00:00

Seeing women as people to get to know and not objects to be concurred or obtained through strength of will or manipulation. Focus on living a fulfilling life that someone might want to be a part of. Achieve some of your own personal goals to gain confidence. Get regular health screenings and check your mental wellbeing. Care for you inner child and and trauma you suffered. Basically be someone safe to have as a partner.

Majestic_Meal_5655 · 2022-09-15T18:53:29+00:00

Money

rwalsh138 · 2022-09-15T20:28:19+00:00

Perceived value. Women need to perceive you of being a high-value man in order to find you sexy. They need to think that you are a hot ticket item.

Also, there needs to be a dangerousness to you. Women aren't attracted to rule-followers, they want someone who's fun and willing to bend the rules (not to the point of being a criminal, but just enough to get away with it.) She will associate you with having fun and feeling cool.

Humor is huge as well. If you keep a woman laughing, she will associate you with smiling and feeling good.

Rheastar · 2022-09-15T21:34:06+00:00

Answer from a woman. Respect and treating us as equals. Really. Misogyny is horribly unattractive.

jackknifeman · 2022-09-15T22:59:07+00:00

Confidence…

manduhjane · 2022-09-16T00:27:58+00:00

Hygiene. A lot of people talk about confidence and good looks and all that, yes this is true but can be difficult to be confident if you aren't conventionally attractive, or maybe you just struggle with that (as a LOT of women do). Intelligence is a plus but you can't just tell someone "Be smarter!" Like, okay. Lol but if you are a well kempt individual, that will make you more appealing to the opposite sex even if you don't have all the other things.

Demiurge_H8ter · 2022-09-16T04:39:29+00:00

A big dick

firee98 · 2022-09-15T19:45:47+00:00

Confidence and a little bit of height at 5'10.5 🥲

Delicatestatesmen · 2022-09-15T23:23:47+00:00

You have to understand that she isn’t rejecting you necessarily. That is it maybe bad timing, or she has a man or is trying to obtain goals or just not your type.

I believe men take it as an ego thing and are quick to take it personal. Unless she says get away creep you should never get mad or think its because of you many other things at play.

Some men say she rejected me I am a loser and ugly. Little do they know she rejected him because shes moving to Spain miles away.( just an example).

I have had women call me 3-6 months after things didnt pan out for whatever reason. I am dating one who I was texting on tinder then she faded off. Later we rematched like 6 months later. She rides my dick every night now and lives with me.. I played it cool.. I will pre-sue interest but not chase!

mrcanoehead2 · 2022-09-16T00:11:59+00:00

Money 💸💸💸💰💰

Altruistic-Ad7054 · 2022-09-16T03:57:20+00:00

My last two cents after reading the comments (good value thread) - suffering anxiety, being a lone wolf or awkward doesn't remove your natural instinct to protect or provide, which is what women want if you believe in any kind of science. Most women know this. There's your confidence. Most women, in the real world - not in the dystopia created by social media, also know that men suffer mentally because they've been taught to suppress their biology, or take on the burden of the world to be good providers. If you get rejected because you're not exuding confidence, that woman was going to destroy whatever confidence you did have in the long run anyway.

Puzzleheaded-Dot-411 · 2022-09-15T21:22:21+00:00

Not asking questions. Talking about yourself for most of the date or time you have together. Countless of times this has happened. I give up

Claralaraa · 2022-09-15T21:30:21+00:00

Authenticity maybe? Applies to both genders.

HSB84 · 2022-09-16T01:08:23+00:00

The toxicity of marketing..

Select_Attempt4190 · 2022-09-15T19:57:54+00:00

Small dick

Haunting_Papaya_9575 · 2022-09-15T19:09:54+00:00

Non neediness and preselection bro…get those in check and ur good to go….controll ur emotions

catniagara · 2022-09-15T19:35:34+00:00

Trying to manipulate the situation and making everything a competition.

FuzzyBlanketThrow · 2022-09-15T21:35:51+00:00

Just being nice. I swear so many men aren’t just nice to the girls they like. You don’t have to kiss our ass but do nice stuff for us just because. Not just when you wanna get laid.

ftdrain · 2022-09-15T22:35:58+00:00

Dont be a meek a bitch

Tiler02 · 2022-09-15T22:37:09+00:00

Balls

FIVE_6_MAFIA · 2022-09-16T00:56:47+00:00

The inability to see each woman as a unique individual with emotions.

Miguel_Legacy · 2022-09-16T01:57:37+00:00

One thing I was reminded of recently is the differences in how masculine and feminine energies communicate.

Men speaking with men are very direct, straight line, and logical.

Women's conversations are ALL OVER the place. Fucking swirls and twirls.

When guys can be fun, Playful, and challenging with a girl and take conversations many different (fun) places, girls just really feel that "vibe"

mikej73 · 2022-09-16T03:23:18+00:00

Swallowing all these red black and blue pills instead of realising women are human beings not objects with preprogrammed sets of rules would be pretty high on the list.

fajitaondiznuts · 2022-09-15T19:09:49+00:00

Empathy

freespirit1963TJ · 2022-09-15T19:42:57+00:00

Strikingly obviously, confidence.

Mundane_Natural5131 · 2022-09-15T20:30:19+00:00

Their looks is the missing ingredient

ChicoBrillo · 2022-09-15T21:18:02+00:00

Being direct.

You obviously can be too direct but most guys suffer from the Opposite.

It’s incredibly unattractive when a guy is passive aggressive or just won’t come out and say what’s on his mind. Nobody can read your mind, and if she’s got any experience in dating she’ll know a guy who can’t communicate is a waste of time.

hookedonfonicsmunky · 2022-09-15T21:31:04+00:00

mine is patience, fuck those dumb little shit tests, im out

itiswhatitis_- · 2022-09-15T22:19:40+00:00

the problem i’ve run into the most, especially on dating sites, is guys that don’t actually try to hold conversation or bring up topics that you can actually talk about.

To better explain it a conversation will usually start with them calling me pretty and if you think about where am i supposed to go after that? It puts me in a corner because you’ve just started an ended the conversation in 3 words. Even if this isn’t a dating website where you can blatantly see people’s interests, comment on something you noticed them wearing and bring up how you relate to it.

Literally just put effort into actually having a conversation and getting to know each other, don’t just expect it to start itself.

gandalfdoughnut · 2022-09-15T23:37:44+00:00

Willingness to get rejected and purposeful vulnerability

Samuraibeb0p · 2022-09-15T23:38:11+00:00

Trust

alikazi · 2022-09-16T01:07:09+00:00

Character. If you don't know yourself, the woman will know this through her natural ability to feel what you're really made of.

Learn techniques on how to pick up, create tension etc. But know yourself. If you are a uncalibrated mess inside yourself you don't stand a chance keeping a high quality woman.

Skizznitt · 2022-09-16T01:10:29+00:00

The ability to make a woman trust them, which involves genuinely listening to and caring about what they have to say, being strong and confident so they can be their feminine selves around you and showing your vulnerable side to them.

CloudOfMeatball · 2022-09-16T01:19:26+00:00

Money, lots of money.

MasterTeacher123 · 2022-09-16T01:21:20+00:00

They don’t make attempts

yourmamama · 2022-09-16T01:46:32+00:00

Connecting with people*

lovethyjoystick · 2022-09-16T02:01:38+00:00

Introspection.

Razzle2112 · 2022-09-16T02:14:05+00:00

humor

bluecollarx · 2022-09-16T02:35:48+00:00

Much often tits.

Noothyy · 2022-09-16T02:41:50+00:00

Preconceived notions and a lack of confidence/self esteem.

Altruistic-Ad7054 · 2022-09-16T02:56:29+00:00

Being genuine. There's safety and comfort in that for a woman. Depends on the type of women you want to attract, but if you are going for women with lived experience, who aren't interested in instagram modelling, they don't want games and bullshit. Just be yourself and if you get rejected, good riddance. Why would you want to put on a facade that's going to a. make you miserable and b. eventually falter, and she's going to feel unsafe and distrustful and leave. Safety is everything. You're genuine, you're safe emotionally and mentally. You're working/trying to be a valuable member of society, you're safe as a long term partner. And pay the damn dinner bill.

2022-09-16T03:00:41+00:00

Lack of fear.

larissa0901 · 2022-09-16T04:00:34+00:00

Communication.

Literature-Agitated · 2022-09-16T04:02:41+00:00

Not shutting the fuck up sometimes. lol Seriously, listening is key.

RandomFish83 · 2022-09-16T04:25:34+00:00

One thing that I realized recently is that a lot of men including myself are / were so longing for connection that we will kinda hit on anything that moves at first.

Going on a self improvement journey, I find that after rejecting someone for the first time ever in my adult life that I ended up in a better place in terms of connecting with someone as I know what I want so I began actively pursuing those types of women.

lzyslut · 2022-09-16T04:41:47+00:00

Emotional intelligence

Material-Mastodon-82 · 2022-09-16T04:51:51+00:00

We know that no matter what y'all say it will be held against us later on..We know that all women have certain levels of crazy and when it comes out which it always does ...Bam thrown in our faces and connection is broken forever!!

SeaPen333 · 2022-09-16T04:58:53+00:00

Only talking about themselves. If they never ask or listen to the woman they’re unlikely to connect with them. Be cognizant that you should only be talking about 50% of the time.

bybiker123 · 2022-09-16T05:28:50+00:00

Trust 95 % of women have a back up man or 2 and most of them are their boyfriends buddies

slamar85 · 2022-09-16T05:36:23+00:00

3 fatigues = decision making, self judgment and persona. 5 A's = Alive, Attentive, Assured, Assertive, Attractive.

Its12oClockSomewhere · 2022-09-16T05:42:58+00:00

the ability to (at least pretend to) listen

KahnKlingonme · 2022-09-16T06:18:38+00:00

Father's and strong male role models

pd08111997 · 2022-09-16T06:30:27+00:00

I'll say most important will be environment and life setup...that changes most of the stuff...

duh-mobetta · 2022-09-16T06:41:02+00:00

Trust

duh-mobetta · 2022-09-16T06:41:34+00:00

Loyalty

The past

duh-mobetta · 2022-09-16T07:11:57+00:00

It's not physical attraction that maintains a relationship... it's a healthy emotional connection. But you can't get to that if theres no physical attraction.

iAmDoBetter · 2022-09-16T07:24:51+00:00

Trust and letting go of ego on both sides...

val_br · 2022-09-16T07:52:42+00:00

Money.

Ryu_Lee_Giddins · 2022-09-16T08:09:21+00:00

Mind reading. We get upset it you cannot know what we actually meant without saying/meaning it lol

SandtheB · 2022-09-16T08:12:38+00:00

Eye contact!! 1#

One of the most important things you need to learn!

Ok-Marionberry-8669 · 2022-09-16T08:50:16+00:00

Thinking too much, doing too little

Common-Snow5434 · 2022-09-16T09:05:28+00:00

Overthinking

AverageZhoe · 2022-09-16T09:26:16+00:00

Willingness to initiate conversations. Still working on that

heartfelt24 · 2022-09-16T09:44:49+00:00

Do stuff with them. Sports, travel, motorcycle rides, other outdoor activities..

PowerLifterVagSlayer · 2022-09-16T09:45:12+00:00

Their own lives are shit

lqtys · 2022-09-16T09:57:20+00:00

I think it’s honestly and vulnerability .

neotonne · 2022-09-16T10:21:14+00:00

Genuine belief in equality. For example im very good looking and confident on my own, but don't think much of the average woman.

lonewolf1961 · 2022-09-16T10:37:04+00:00

Game and charisma.Being exciting and interesting

Equivalent_Ad282 · 2022-09-16T10:52:17+00:00

Seeing all good looking women as potential romantic partners and not just possible great friends.

;The missing ingredient is Zen, ones internal ability to awaken their inner nature, compassion and direct intuition all while letting go of judgement and simply learning the art of not giving a fuck.

When this happens you don't approach women with the same mindset you would in a completely calm sorta state while talking to a friend.

When a interaction is not genuine and there is the thought of being rewarded with a partner based on your actions and how you portray your image during said interaction, you are not being your natural self.

If you cannot be your natural self you cannot connect with someone on a natural level.

TheReverendAlan · 2022-09-16T10:54:42+00:00

Oh I don’t know…what keeps you from sticking your head in a shredder???☮️♥️🎸

wtjones · 2022-09-16T11:51:48+00:00

Listening.

citygerl · 2022-09-16T12:14:25+00:00

Talk. Ask her questions and actively listen to her answers. This is what you’re missing. Looks and confidence have little to do with attraction for most women. The guys that listen, ask follow up questions will know what she likes and then he can provide what she’s looking for. Talk and listen.

dacryptokid · 2022-09-16T12:19:37+00:00

Not being able to relax and be themselves therefore not connecting. Nerves and overthinking for first stage.

When dating, being vulnerable, honesty, loyalty. Finding ways to keep it exciting. Getting complacent and taking one another for granted. Stop flirting and being playful.

Life, work, kids can all be stressors that can put a wedge between a couple. Or can strengthen. Depends on individuals and their cohesiveness or chemistry.

Just my 2 cents

PlatypusGod · 2022-09-16T13:03:07+00:00

The ability to not objectify women

XanthicStatue · 2022-09-16T14:31:15+00:00

Charisma

FearlessConflict9744 · 2022-09-16T14:47:27+00:00

Testosterone

bandsupjay · 2022-09-16T15:05:21+00:00

Shame. You can’t connect with someone or a woman perhaps if you have shame or is feeling shame about yourself. Its that toxic shame that makes you wanna hide, not show yourself, and express yourself. It’s that what hides your personality and everything that’s cool about you. What seperates one guy from another is their self esteem. Thats what women are attracted to. Connecting to women is the connection itself. Talking and interacting with the other, not hiding yourself and if you suffer from shame in childhood this is an art. To connect is to not hide your flaws, be truly imperfect in your lovability and accept yourself. Its to know no one is perfect and we all have imperfections including the person you’re talking to. It’s to know you’re good enough. It’s to swerve in her feminine energy and be okay with that and get vulnerable. Thats the missing ingredient that holds men back from connecting with women. Don’t hide your perceived flaws

Icy_Complex2903 · 2022-09-16T15:13:54+00:00

Not possessing a sense of "Entitlement".

MajorWookie · 2022-09-16T15:23:05+00:00

Eye contact.

holmgam · 2022-09-16T16:15:42+00:00

Being open, open to difficult conversation, open minded, open to new experiences and people, just being open!

rownezza · 2022-09-16T16:27:12+00:00

Some men lack basic life skills/knowledge. that if he isnt willing to learn or correct will be annoying long term. Like basic cooking, cleaning, and laundry skills. Its not hot to be worried about if your partner ate or not while you were gone for the weekend .

throwaway1247890 · 2022-09-16T16:32:43+00:00

sleeping with attractive women is extremely hard knowing their nature. If you’d ask me i could explain the nature part. However, if this is about ‘connecting’ and serious relationships it’s actually very easy.

scapulirthrowaway · 2022-09-16T16:53:03+00:00

Imo playing it too safe , gotta risk it to get the biscuit

Golden_Golem · 2022-09-16T16:56:49+00:00

Honesty and presence.

pikecat · 2022-09-16T17:06:37+00:00

You're title and body text are two completely different things.

Maybe knowing what you mean yourself would be one thing.

Regarding your title question, talking on a deeply personal level. Really getting to know the girl you're with, and her getting to know you too. Of course, you can have a whole relationship without ever doing this.

Regarding you're body text, to be appealing to a girl that you don't have yet. Talking in a way that makes her want to be with you. What that is, is different for different kinds of girls, and situations. Also, the right demeanor, stance, gait, facial expression.

Euphoric-Respond6046 · 2022-09-16T17:17:09+00:00

communication and LOTS of reassurance♥️

No-Persimmon1236 · 2022-09-16T17:46:54+00:00

Falling too fast and then being clingy and needy without any foundation to build on. Like geez, can we get to know eachother first maybe? Rushing into it just makes me feel like he doesn't really like "me", bc he can't know me on tht level.

Title	What’s the missing ingredient that holds a lot of guys back from really connecting with women?
Author	FaithInStrangers94
Upvotes	524
Comments	439
Date	September 15, 2022 5:39 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/xf2vck/whats_the_missing_ingredient_that_holds_a_lot_of/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/whats-the-missing-ingredient-that-holds-a-lot-of.1249955 https://theredarchive.com/post/1249955

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