Older men dating younger women: A youngish woman's perspective

wtknight · 2024-09-21T14:54:51+00:00

I think that many older men are still attracted at least somewhat to older women who have taken care of themselves, even if they might prefer the physical appearance of younger women. And if they are seriously considering dating, older men will likely prefer older women because they have more in common with each other.

I think the older women hate is mostly an online manosphere thing and only a belief of a small minority of men. However, older men are likely just going to be more physically attracted to younger women due to biological factors, even if they are unable to attract these younger women. This is just how things are.

flipsidetroll · 2024-09-21T17:41:52+00:00

If the older man and younger women are both happy to date each other, then it’s no one’s business. But I was hit on by one of my father’s colleagues and I was so fully grossed out by it. Looking back, he wasn’t unattractive to my slightly older eyes, but all I thought back then was ewwww. And if an old man had hit on me and my FATHER had advised not to date him, I would have respected my father over anyone else. Half the time, these old gits are not attractive and it’s the parents of young women expressing objection. It’s funny how 90% of the red pill content creators are old gits who fancy themselves to be ladykillers.

ComfortableJeans · 2024-09-21T14:55:32+00:00

I wouldn't say I'm dating younger women by any means.

But I'm 31, and recently this 21-year-old has been wanting to talk to me. And she's sweet, so I like talking to her too. I don't think I want to go any further than friends, but still. She's lovely.

But Goddamn, the generation difference makes it hard.

When getting to know women from my generation, we type LONG, LONG paragraphs to one another. Talking about everything important to us. And silly things. And playing around. And flirting and so on and so on.

But these younger women do not do that.

Conversation will get flowing, with me doing the majority of the talking, then eventually she'll slow down to answering with 2–4 word replies, to the point where sometimes she'll just say "Yeah." and leave it at that.

Now, for what I'm used to, that's a polite way of just letting the person know that you're not really interested in talking, so I dip out and leave her alone. Then a few days later, she'll message me, asking why I've stopped talking to her and asking if I still like her.

It's a thing I've noticed with my younger friends; they hardly talk with one another.

Again, I don't plan on getting romantic with her in anyway, but if I were looking for a younger woman, this poor communication would be a fucking issue. How do you get to know one another when you refuse to speak even a single paragraph?

If this is how a lot of younger people are acting, I don't know anyone falls in love with anyone else. I want to know every little weird thought that goes on in your head. I want to talk and talk and talk with a person I'm interested in.

This is how all my relationships have been.

I've been talking to women I'm fallen for and we both have to seperate our messages into sections, because the messaging services can't handle messages and long as we were sending. Then from there, we end up spending hours and hours a everyday talking on the phone.

I don't know, man.

No-Consequence-6513 · 2024-09-21T16:03:01+00:00

Women are very open about their preferences (like hight for example) as well. Even harsh mocking of short guys is very common and trendy in tiktok. And when men feel upset about it all they hear from women is that they are not entitled to anything. I don't see women showing empathy to undesirable men at all. But somehow men should always be silent about their preferences otherwise women will react negatively even if a man doesn't shit on olden women.

Downtown_Werewolf_44 · 2024-09-21T15:36:38+00:00

There is no real parity here though. Women currently dominate the dating market and have most of the power in it. Many (not all) older women who are single, made bad choices in not only whom they chose to have relationships with but also lifestyle choices that have caught up with them as time marches on. Overexposure to the sun, alcohol use, poor diet, etc.

Many of these women are used to still having all of the power in the dating market though and often have an ego to go along with it. They can also be jaded, more cynical and highly suspicious of ALL men because of the poor choices THEY made in choosing men.

I recently became single again as an older male. I look younger than my age and have kept in shape. There are very, very few women who are my age who are single that I am attracted to. I don't need to disparage them but I am not going to lie about it or sugarcoat it.

After I became single, I went on a date with an older woman that turned into a brief relationship. She had major trust issues because frankly she made bad choices in the men she was with in the past. She was constantly suspicious of me cheating or wanting to cheat even though I gave her no reason to believe I would do so and did not do so. I could not live like that and she was not willing to try to work through it and change. After that, I had too many dates with older women that literally felt like JOB INTERVIEWS where I was applying based on how much I could add to her life. I had enough.

I have a young female friend at work and we recently went out for drinks just for fun. Neither of us have any expectation of a relationship or anything sexual. We are simply friends who were born some years apart. It made me realize that if I had the opportunity, I'd love to date a young woman with her fun energy, optimism and basically lack of cynicism. I'm not going to approach young women or make anyone uncomfortable but if I see unmistakable signs that someone attracted to me, I'd see where it goes.

Babyface_Bogart · 2024-09-21T15:40:04+00:00

Women my age say they want someone bearded, someone who looks like a “real man”, rarely any millennial woman is into slender asian guys. How is this my fault?

Sadsad0088 · 2024-09-22T21:53:47+00:00

Lots of men seem resentful towards women who they do not deem attractive.

RedstarHeineken1 · 2024-09-21T15:36:23+00:00

I am cool with whatever consenting adults do. I have no axe to grind, i am an ”older woman” with zero problem finding men +/- 10 years of my age.

I do think men gas up other men by lying to them that they will magically be more attractive to women as they age, and the majority will not.

Also, alot of older men think being used financially by a younger woman means they’re hot shit and it’s embarrassing.

AtomicMonkeyTheFirst · 2024-09-21T17:24:50+00:00

I keep saying this but men do not go for younger women, men go for attractive women.

BUT everyone peaks on their 20s and them goes downhill so inevitably there's going be a trend of mem going for younger women.

Give nearly every guy a choice between 40 y.o Gal Gadot and 20 y.o Bella Ramsey and they'll Gadot every time, but give them a choice between 40 y.o Gadot & 20 y.o Gadot and thr 20 y.o Gadot will win.

It mostly wont be 50 year old guys going for 20 year old girls but it will be 50 year old guys going for 30 year old women.

Complaining on the internet and expecting it to change is pointless. It has always been like this.

jay_de-leon · 2024-09-21T15:06:26+00:00

Who gives a fuck, as long as the man isn’t on some Epstein shit and the women are of legal age and consenting then a man has every right to only date a woman younger than him.

I also find it funny how nobody says anything critical about when older women date younger men.

Disastrous-Chart-928 · 2024-09-21T15:04:44+00:00

Women are just as responsible for the young women/older guy dynamic, we statistically refuse to date guys that don't earn a good chunk more than us despite it being harder than never for guys in our age group to earn that required increment more. The older they are the more likely they are to meet this requirement.

We complain about how bad and immature guys our own age are and actively seek out older guys for a more secure relationship.

Me and all my friends are dating older guys, my boyfriend is a few years from 30 and I'm 20, the smallest gap in my group is 4 years. I actively asked him out, I pursued him.

Older men are just hotter, they display more dimorphic traits, more financially stable, more emotionally sound and ultimately just better partners, it's been this way for thousands of years and it's sure as hell not going to change now with the cost of living crisis seemingly here to stay.

Why the hell would we date guys that are still interested in clubbing, drugs and consuming insane amounts of alcohol while 'accidentally' cheating. Hell na, I'll keep my unproblematic Kratos bf. It's crazy how many girls my age I've seen complaining about their bfs going on tiktok and following other women, meanwhile me and my friends bfs don't even know what tiktok is for.

tldr: Older guys rock

Texan2116 · 2024-09-21T16:24:31+00:00

Have you ever actually dated someone who was older(10+ years or more), what was your experience?

Junior_Ad_3086 · 2024-09-21T18:25:09+00:00

you don't need to actively shit on older women for some people to be borderline outraged by this preference. most guys (especially outside of pill spaces) don't disrespect or trash women they are not interested in. it still pisses some people off.

Feinstone · 2024-09-22T13:28:56+00:00

I can only speak from my own experience, but I'm in my 30s, and I'm currently dating a 24 year old, the main reason why I started pursuing younger women is because women my age tend to be in a rush to get married and have kids, and I'm not opposed to marriage, but usually when women are at this stage they tend to shift their priorities when choosing a man, they no longer prioritize sexual desire, and they just wanna settle for a stable "good guy", NO man wants to be in this position! if I'm going to date/marry a woman I need to make sure that she genuinely desires me, and wants to be with me even when marriage is not on the table. call me paranoid, but I wont risk it

and as far as attraction, I do find women my own age to be as attractive as younger women, but as I said younger women arent in a rush, and when she start dating a guy its always based on genuine desire. well except for gold diggers, but I'm not rich anyway

EugeneCezanne · 2024-09-22T19:09:39+00:00

I don't see the point in disrespecting anyone. Date who you want. None of us really need to explain it to anyone, let alone put anyone outside our personal preferences down in the process.

Significant_Phase194 · 2024-09-21T15:18:16+00:00

We use our youth and sexual capital in our 20s to have leverage, we play this game and accept the rules so we have to accept them even when we don't like the game anymore.

KGmagic52 · 2024-09-21T15:54:18+00:00

If young women would just date men their own age, you wouldn't have to worry about it. Oh wait, these are other people, not you. So you literally don't have to worry about it! The only reason you care is because it's an opportunity to shame older men while absolving women for their part in said pairings.

rustlerhuskyjeans · 2024-09-21T16:25:52+00:00

I’m in my mid 40s and I date early to mid 20s. Current gf of a year is 20 years younger, last was 16 years. I’m tall fit, handsome, live in a nice home. If you think you’re going to legit pull beautiful women in their 20s you need to be visibly attractive, young women aren’t dating bald out of shape men unless it’s a sugar daddy.

It’s just as easy for me to get dates from girls in 20s than closer to my age. Women in 20s tend to like me, whereas girls closer to my age more hit and miss. I face no discrimination dating even with college age women anywhere ever.

The reasons I give for dating young is seen as talking crap, but most of the time it’s reality of one man’s position in life and their choice. I got kids and I’m divorced so I’m looking for type of girl. I want a woman with her own source of money, mainly debt free, that can move in with me, doesn’t have kids, looks beautiful and has a great body, and doesn’t want marriage and kids for years.

Women in 30s and 40s can be like that, just more often they have other priorities, want marriage or kids, or in different life situation.

2024-09-21T15:13:17+00:00

How do you know those men are not right?

BC_Flowers · 2024-09-22T14:05:03+00:00

I agree, men should NOT talk crap about any women of any age.

If a 50 yo man prefers 25 yo women, that's fine but don't insult 50 yo women, they didn't do anything wrong.

AutoModerator · 2024-09-21T14:34:29+00:00

Attention!

You can post off topic/jokes/puns as a comment to this Automoderator message.
For "Debate" and "Question for X" Threads: Parent comments that aren't from the target group will be removed, along with their child replies.
If you want to agree with OP instead of challenging their view or if the question is not targeted at you, post it as an answer to this comment.
OP you can choose your own flair according to these guidelines., just press Flair under your post!

Thanks for your cooperation and enjoy the discussion!

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

GolcondaOni · 2024-09-22T00:37:27+00:00

You seem adamant to validate your own biases by claiming a whole gender is predatory. I would check on that if I were you. But I’ll bite.

Besides looks, it makes sense to vet for marriage.

There is a notable population of men who are “late bloomers”. Lost weight, got promoted, got out of depression etc. If a late bloomer wants to get married and he’s 28-35 his best bet is to date younger as it is anticipated that the longer you are in a relationship your chances of a successful marriage increases.

If you want to date for 2-5 years before commitment and kids it’s better to date guess what ? 2-5 years younger than you.

Other men have spoken about the interview like process older women are putting men through. That’s the quickest way to turn off someone. To give them the impression that you are looking for someone to fill a void or show to friends instead of dating the actual person.

Personally, this dynamic of older men to younger woman is seen cross culturally and spans across generations. It would be scandalous to claim that billions of men even ones who went on to have successful relationships had predatory intentions.

Taipanshimshon · 2024-09-22T04:45:07+00:00

Please understand that when we trash " older women" it's " older women who are actively single and dating at this point in our lives "

We are trashing the behavior we have seen and experienced.

Just like women do.

Yes I will absolutely trash a woman I know from junior high age when I saw who she picked as a partner. And the next one and the next. When I know she routinely didn't pick good men. But picked men anyone who cared about her could ) and did / tell her was a bad idea.

Yes I will trash that behavior and similar behavior I see in other women if the subject comes up.

I'll trash the equivalent men as well. If anyone asks.

Icy-Pin5030 · 2024-09-22T06:06:15+00:00

Your just jealous that your ugly and even the old guys arent going for you ahaha

balhaegu · 2024-09-22T10:48:42+00:00

So you only want to date men who are already dating or married to a woman their age. Got it. Im sure the older women will be happy to hear this news.

Wonderful_Towel_5526 · 2024-09-22T22:04:25+00:00

Yeah, you, but I don't think they would even want to touch you not even with a stick. Imagine being that intense just because some men prefer younger women, everybody is free to have their own preferrences.

Emotional_Cry_1856 · 2025-01-12T16:54:00+00:00

its plain predatory behavior. the girl who does this has mental issues... no healthy young girl feels attracted to an older guy without having mental issues. If a guy rejects me because I am 29 is better to me I don't like predators I date guys max 4 years younger than me I like men my age not some old fuck who have to take 5 viagras to just get it up to stroke his fragile ego

DankuTwo · 2024-09-21T19:16:08+00:00

For the millionth time: without clear definitions of “younger” and “older” these posts are utterly meaningless….

Duriel- · 2024-09-22T15:02:58+00:00

There are 7 billion people on this planet, why hasnt any man propositioned a low value woman for marriage? Only low value women run around talking about type of men she'll "date".

LifeDifficult5486 · 2024-09-23T00:28:18+00:00

I don’t hate women my age, I just don’t need to date them. I have no emotional baggage from previous relationships, no kids, not divorced, I’ve taken care of myself so I don’t look my age. I can date women in their 20’s who aren’t stuck in their ways and actually listen and value my opinion.

MonkeyThrowing · 2024-09-22T01:03:09+00:00

Old guy here. This is the issue. I don’t feel old. I feel like I’m 25-30ish. Women my own age just look old. I look the same, old … but I can’t see myself. So in my brain I feel like I should be dating someone much younger.

Jaded_Bad2224 · 2024-09-22T00:25:46+00:00

it is men trying to cope with their own mortality. they don't like older women their age because they reflect back too much familiar pain to these 40 year old dudes. they see everything they hate about themselves: the lowered skin quality, the jaded attitude from working corporate jobs for decades, their issues with the opposite sex from when they were younger, difficulties maintaining weight and fitness, all coupled with older men's slowly dying libido. in my opinion these guys want to turn back the clock on their life and the best way to do that is to date a woman under 23.

my father who is in his late 60s always lamented about how he wishes he was my age (18-24) because you have so much potential and so many choices at that age.

there are multiple levels to the attraction, the first is obviously physical attraction, and past that, what they really want is someone with a youthful personality, someone innocent and naive. and it's not necessarily because they want to take advantage. it is envy. they want to be 23 on the top of the world, they want it all. they want the money and status they have now (if they have any) but they desperately wish they could be in their physical prime, high libido, high energy, full hair, fitter body, few to no health problems, with the entire world in front of them again. they want to forget about their lives and experiences in adulthood which made them disappointed. they cannot relive their youth with someone their own age, and as such they come to hate their female peers.

StadChacy · 2024-09-22T04:28:18+00:00

Tbh, I think some of the callousness you see stems from the fact that men aren’t cut any slack with what women want in early age. Women are ruthlessly particular with what they want. They’re selfish about it, unforgiving, etc… So if ever the tables turn, which they usually can when the woman hits a certain age, men act the same way toward women. No one cared when he was young and single, struggling to find a footing in the world and actually could’ve used a woman. Maybe he wanted kids earlier in life. Maybe he needed help establishing himself and could’ve used someone holding down the house while he tried to get a piece of the economic pie for his family. He didn’t get that. Maybe he was shy and could’ve used hints or an approach. Maybe he wasn’t tatted and bad tempered like young women like but would’ve worked hard to give her what she wanted and would’ve defended her with his life… none of this mattered to women his age, at that time. It’s extremely hard to just take that on the chin and turn around and grant grace, sympathy, and acceptance to those women when they’re old, the same grace, sympathy, and acceptance that you were denied.

All of a sudden when women are 45, “personality” is more important than age and beauty. It’s actually narcissistic. I’ve noticed that extremely selfish people tend to do this…when they need help, they tend to preach “compassion” to everyone else. When help is requested from them, they tend to preach “self responsibility” to everyone else. Women do the same. When they’re young and attractive and have all the leverage, it’s “all is fair in love and war” but when they’re older and tasteless watching all the Silver fox males get the attention, all of a sudden it’s “don’t you care about love, companionship, and connection?”

Men see right through it.

Diamond-Breath · 2024-09-22T04:54:36+00:00

I'm in my 20s, and I would never date an older man that thinks that his shit doesn't stink. It's a red flag when they're only looking for way younger women.

happylittlefaerie · 2024-09-23T14:05:38+00:00

Younger woman that loves older men here. I think there are other considerations we need to keep in mind. Does the older man in question have friends his own age and is he open to dating women his own age? If he is specifically attracted to younger woman, that’s not a red flag in and of itself but it does merit wariness on the younger woman’s part. That’s because the greater the age difference the greater the power imbalance can be. Speaking from experience, these relationships can be navigated and result in a happy and thriving relationship.

Give me a mature, experienced, established, well-spoken Zaddy any day. 🫦

Edited for clarity.

Bitter_Glass321 · 2024-09-21T15:19:46+00:00

I think it also has to come from men who never grew up. I've met a lot of men who are in their 20s and 30s, but you can tell they've been in a bubble since they turned 18 and it hasn't burst yet. Anytime I hear about men in their mid to late 20s or early 30s dating women as young as 20, I only have to think about what 20-year-olds are like now.

I'm 28 and I'm in a graduate program right now so I'm in cohorts with people my age but I still seldom meet and briefly speak to undergraduate students from time to time just walking around campus occasionally. They're fucking kids, bro. Especially the Freshmen. All they ever talk about is class, whatever shit they saw on social media, or some random gossip. I'm yet to hear about an undergraduate student talk about anything else. There's nothing else going on in their lives. I couldn't imagine dating someone innocent and naive. Makes my skin crawl.

SimpleStart2395 · 2024-09-21T20:00:24+00:00

Last time I checked women mature much faster than men and for that reason naturally pair well with older men.

Is this just dawning on you right now?

MrAnonPoster · 2024-09-21T16:14:47+00:00

That's a fantastic statement.... except are you sure that older man is interested in dating you? After all, you are a flight attendant for a non-major airline with a chip on your shoulder.

AutoModerator · 2024-09-21T21:14:54+00:00

Attention!

You can post off topic/jokes/puns as a comment to this Automoderator message.
For "Debate" and "Question for X" Threads: Parent comments that aren't from the target group will be removed, along with their child replies.
If you want to agree with OP instead of challenging their view or if the question is not targeted at you, post it as an answer to this comment.
OP you can choose your own flair according to these guidelines., just press Flair under your post!

Thanks for your cooperation and enjoy the discussion!

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

Altruistic_Ad_0 · 2024-09-21T22:33:45+00:00

Disrespect is not a good look early on in any relationship, romantic, business, familial anything. As a man. Yes I am attracted to young adult women. Walking down the street or sitting on a park bench people watching I have a good grasp of what I like. And there is some biological component to my personal male heterosexual preferences. But when I see someone I don't like, I ignore them, I don't disrespect them. So much in life can be solved by not opening your yap about what you think about other people. Everything I said has nothing to do with age. But if I were to ask every women who I was attracted to, they would probably be around 18-28 or so. But I don't ask. So I will never know.

2024-09-22T12:23:17+00:00

This seems like such a pointless post. OP says it's mostly online. I'd bet it's ALL online. I don't think I've ever witnessed a group of men sitting around in public, within earshot of others and actively disparaging older women. I have, however, overheard groups of women in public disparaging men loudly enough that I couldn't avoid noticing.

You could head over to Two-X-Chromosomes or even just the dating subreddits and find women shitting all over men of all ages constantly.

PurplePillDebate-ModTeam · 2024-09-22T15:58:03+00:00

[permanently deleted]

mercuryretroplz · 2024-09-22T17:51:46+00:00

As a woman who dated older men starting in my mid 20s, I felt exactly the same. Something felt very off when the older man I was out with would talk crap about women his age.

2024-09-23T21:33:29+00:00

As a 28 year old guy who is a virgin and he is keeping himself until marriage I don't mind dating a 28 years women but I expect her to be a virgin as well and is extremely rare to be at that age wich is why I go for 18 -21 the only difference between guy like me who are keeping themselves until marriage and other guys who are sleeping around with many women is that those guys are agter younger women to sleep with her then dump her while the other ones want to have a wife to treat her with respect the only way to know if qn older man really likes you for who you are is easy tell him you want to wait until marriage before sleeping with him and see his response if he gets angry ditch his ass if he remain calm and respect your wishes well then good for you

AutomatShop · 2024-09-24T10:11:45+00:00

That's why we wouldn't tell you bad things about women.

Men in their early 20s are simply not nearly as sought after as women in their early 20s or men in their late 20s and early 30s.

It is wise not to date weirdo misanthropes who regularly denounce wide swaths of people.

For example, in your generation, commentary about how women are discriminated against by patriarchy despite having better outcomes in probably all areas men are capable of being considered.

Young women report commotting more domestic violence and sexual assault then men!

Young women are paid more, given much more government aid for businesses and student aid, have right to at least 50% representation wherever they want, such as all company executive boards in California, Cali often starts trends, yet no one could possibly care less about the men dying in droves, dying early, being sentenced harsher fir same crimes, having no due process, no one cares mens testostrone and fertility is plummeting and in fact all cultural messaging is that men being leas masculine is positive, etc.

I think you are absolutely spot on to be wary of trying to find an equal relationship with any bigot.

Women tend to date slightly older, but I suppose you don't consider it sexism for young men to be regularly accused of being undatable or immature, shaming them for body counts, the total acceptance by all mainstream cultural institutions like academia, media, government that any man who is not a stud is a suspected dangerous criminal, after all, if they aren't attractive men women want they are moral failures.

I'd recommend if you can trying not to get to reddit-based as the app is a cultural programming technology that also is incentivized to support controversial polarized argumentation for engagement.

Why are young women not shamed fir not dating men of their own age, yet men are shamed for not dating women of their own age? This is a rhwtorical question, and the answer is that our cultural zeitgeist is not honest or rational.

Women are targets for marketing as they control majority of consumer decisions.

Often when young women date for funand basically date a bunch of really great attractive guys, I mean "situationships," by the time they get older and the hot men are dating younger, the older women are resentful as hell that their (hot) peers have not aged out as men are often more desirable mates as they gain maturity, while women are mlre valued on the market in aggregate for qualities like being pleasant.

Women who are pissed, depressed, traumatized, hate men, are less fertile, HATE they have to be dating less and leas and less attractive men if they want commitment basically are maybe willing to settle for a guy they are not attracted to because they "have to" prioritize other factors like financial security, so there is an extremely common pattern of such resentments coming out in highly abusive ways.

So men prefer women who don't hate them, and haven't basically been burnt out on love, doesn't it make sense if average man has slept with and had same amount of relationships as a woman 10 years younger that they are on the same page?

Would you want to daye a man who had slept with 100 prostitutes? It might seem like a bad pattern that isn't becessarily bad but could lead to trust issues or fears the man may step out or want to replace the woman, or have some kind of porn standards. Men feel the exact same way about women who have had 15 hears of going out to sleep with the hottest, often the meanest men they can see at a bar. Men think, they will have unrealistic expectations as would a frequent prostitute client, and also that the women, UNLIKE their younger selves, have become used to casual sex just like men paying hookers.

This sounds bad, but lets say there's a homeless guy who has been raped a lot, and been severely depressed and traumatized for years.... that guy is just not as sweet and carefree as the cute 23 year old guy your age who hasn't become jaded and traumatized. So lets say a woman is sleeping with the tallest, most dominant men every week or two for the last 15 years. Hiw many experiences does she have of falling for someone who uses her, or men that ghost or SA or lie, cheat, etc, often these women are like jaded prostitutea or strippers or other sex workers, who can no longer easily associate sex with love.

Then older men can fall naively for these women who are settling, but as soon as they have any security, they resent the SHIT out of the generous unattractive men, and the women feel dirty that they have to put out for and not hook up woth hot men, so that resentment comes out, like in all the posts women say they "can't leave their relationship," meaning they are using their boyfriend to pay theor expenses, yet they paint the man with resentment, and often learn to blame anything they do wrong, like financially abusing these men, or worse, on the fact that the most successful men thwy used to be able to situationship are in top positions. Sire men are in all the worst poaitions in society but somehow patriarchy means women are never accountable for anything when they can blame all men for the fact that hot men are sought after by many women.

Then many older women have a lot of debt, and seek men specifically who are financially, educationally, family background, assets, skills, talent... always must be more than them!

Then women often feel the need to settle down and have babies when getting into 30s, so basically most men who were completely invisible in their 20s, if by 30s they have attained a high power career and big house, then all of a sudden a Biblical Flood of women come and dand these peers who were not desorable should now settle down and should not date younger women, never mind that ONLY very attractive and successful and desireable and attractive and (more) wealthy men are sought after.

The truth is that any man who can easily attract younger women IS ALWAYS without exception HIGHLY ATTRACTIVE to their own peers.

There is NO SUCH THING as older women being too mature or too smart to want to date such men, much like when women say a man is emotionally unavailable, it is a bit like sexist traditional men pathologizing a young woman who wants to explore her sexuality. The women aren't damaged for not wanting to settle down woth who they "should" want, jist as the men whi are "afraid of commitment" are just guys who would not marry, but would have "situationships," ie the desirable men who are highly sought after.

Think of all the women woth debt and bad jobs who want a MORE educated, wealthier, harder working, more successful man. And why? It isn't because they want him, they have for last 15 years never wanted him- they just need someone to pay for them now that they cannot even have respectful situationships.

Many women want kids, so dating in 30s means that having children is a top focus at all times, preparing for kids, but remember, when women are / were ovulating for last 15 years they never chose Mr. Husband Material, but rather Mr. Hookup Material, Mr. Fun, used to be called Mr. Big but you wouldn't get that reference, Mr. Right Now.

Now sex can happenfor many reasons, but when ovulating, women prefer the pheramones and look of more dominant, masculine men... because that visceral hot ess is genetic information that that dominant man can provide dominant sperm with dominant genes to make dominant kids who will grow up to be the kinds of attractive men who women choose as Mr. Hookup Material. Because those men perpetuate the genea, so natiral selection favors those descendants who multiply, thus over time the species tends towards attraction to those traits that lead to numerous offspring...

So really the ideal strategy for women is to secure commitment from the really sexy guys who are also in love and committed and happy to protect and provode for family unit and offspring...

But often these dominant men, often criminally psychotic if not too dangerous to woman, presumably again because of natural selection not women's "flaws," either are too badass and wild to be likely to live responsibly, or too much of a HOT sociopath to have morals or responsibility, and these men are specifically selected for being such untamable rebel bad boys, and they are non-autistic and machiavellian and narcissistic, which women uncontroversially love... until the women get older and those men are no longer interested, then the older women get bitter and angry as all hell against "The Patriarchy" which is just that they are jealous if the top 10% of men and take it out on the "shittier" men who the women often "have to" settle for, because they "have to" date richer men...

So they try to shame the men from dating the women they want, becUae these older women have become incels in that they can sleep with men, just as many male "incels" might not date many fine women, and like the young sexually and romantically frustrated young men, the "incel" older women likewise are sexually and romantically frustrated because their peers (who are hot enough to be datable, not the 80% of "unnattractive or undatable" men) have no end to dating options.

Gold_Supermarket1956 · 2024-09-24T18:11:41+00:00

It's less crap about their age and more about the fact that most are ran through land whales with a couple kids by 35

Specified_Owl · 2024-09-28T02:33:16+00:00

Well, if men want conservative women, most of them are old. Tho even today's 30 year olds will become more conservative.

Icy_Ad983 · 2024-10-14T16:30:42+00:00

OP, I've got mad respect for you and your values. I'm 18 and am very afraid of aging because society has pushed that women lose value as they get older/age. It’s really sad. I feel like I'm wasting my time by not being promiscuous or looking for a relationship because this is supposed to be “my prime.” I feel that because I don't want to focus on that now when I'm older I'll be “washed up” and no man will want me. I try to be positive though and remind myself that that isn't true. The media will try to push a certain narrative, but remember that there are men who share the same values, views, and opinions as you. Despite the negatives, older women can and do live fulfilling and respectable lives, and find love.

AdIntelligent2836 · 2024-11-15T03:33:07+00:00

At 30, I can’t bring myself to consider someone my own age as a serious prospect. If I’d met someone in my 20s, maybe aging wouldn’t be such a concern. We’d have already grown close, built memories, and developed a connection that could withstand time. But that didn’t happen.

Instead, now I face the reality of retroactive jealousy — the baggage of her past, knowing she’s probably spent her best years enjoying life with different guys. She’s had her fun, gotten what she wanted, while I was left out of that picture.

When she finally “settles down” and wants a reliable partner, she expects a man to step up, but for that man, it feels like a raw deal. It’s like being asked to pay top dollar for an old BMW with 150k miles. Sure, it still runs, but the quality’s gone, performance has faded, and there’s a laundry list of issues. Fixing it costs more than it’s worth.

Why should I put her on a pedestal and put in all the work now, when she freely gave herself to others in her youth? There’s a reason people prefer a car with low mileage and potential. The same goes for relationships. I’m not here to pick up where others left off and pay a premium for something that’s already been worn out.

KIWIGUYUSA · 2025-01-09T15:18:11+00:00

I a 52 and my Wife is 32. She told me that she think women mature faster than men. She was attracted to me because I have my shit together emotionally. She also said that all the young guys she dated had no idea about how to please her in the bedroom and it was always over in 2 mins. Looking back, my 20 years old self agrees..

Ok_Quit5130 · 2025-01-23T23:34:50+00:00

My preference is younger because they still want to go do things, still enjoy intimacy, going places. I’m 58 and look 40 ish but haven’t found one that likes drag racing, I still race a dragbike and would love to have a woman go to the track with me. Guess I’m dreaming but maybe one day.

SeamoreB00bz · 2024-09-21T18:12:48+00:00

it's not that older women aren't attractive at all. some are. but if you had the choice, all being equal, lot of us would lean towards the 30yo over the 50yo.

Cunnin_Linguists · 2024-09-21T21:15:31+00:00

How would you know if they're disrespecting women their age?

harmonica2 · 2024-09-21T21:17:40+00:00

These are interesting responses. Why is it that older women tend to be in interview mode, if that's true?

Unhappy_Offer_1822 · 2024-09-21T22:25:43+00:00

i mean i think the ones who disrespect their own age group might possibly have some deeper issues going on

blackdaalia · 2024-09-21T23:42:10+00:00

I mean, i wouldn't want to date anyone who disrespects women.

MeteorMash101 · 2024-09-21T23:51:20+00:00

I feel like a woman being older (mid 30s to 40+) and still single is a much bigger red flag than it is for a man to be...

SaBahRub · 2024-09-21T15:03:25+00:00

Most of them aren’t as obviously negative

“You’re so mature for your age”

“Age is just a number; love is timeless”

cestbondaeggi · 2024-09-21T14:54:40+00:00

I'm not against dating a woman my age if she looks 25. It's just most look like shit and act like even bigger shit.

missmireya · 2024-09-21T20:52:49+00:00

It's true OP and I'm sick of it. I am a 42 y/o woman and I do everything in my power to look good. I keep my weight down, my hair is long, no tattoos or facial piercings. I dress well.

I only attract twenty somethings. That's flattering and all, but I want a man my own age. Not some baby faced twerp!

The biggest slap in the face is when my 30 y/o coworker showed me all the men in her stack when we were both trying to online date. These were men in my age group that I never saw before. I'm assuming because i was automatically filtered out. It's infuriating.

Title	Older men dating younger women: A youngish woman's perspective
Author	Far-Technician507
Upvotes	91
Comments	468
Date	September 21, 2024 2:34 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1fm4eqq/older_men_dating_younger_women_a_youngish_womans/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/older-men-dating-younger-women-a-youngish-womans.1530934 https://theredarchive.com/post/1530934

Comments