People who claim women are "happier single" have never spoken to a truly undesirable woman

ValeWho · 2026-01-02T12:11:52+00:00

I think the main argument for women being happier than men about being single is that many women are single by choice.

Of course you get a biased opinion, if you ask two people if they like their situation and one person actively chooses to be in this situation and could change their situation at any time, and the other person has no choice but to be in this situation. Well then it's an easy guess who is more likely to be happy about their situation.

So therefore it is not surprising that, similar to men, "undesirable women" are not happy about being single.

Pitiful_Home5655 · 2026-01-02T18:33:49+00:00

It's an abundance thing. Basically all of my guy friends have expressed that they would actually enjoy being catcalled by strangers occasionally even though they all unanimously agree that catcalling women is bad. I have a hunch that some of them would literally like to be sexually harassed if only for the fact that a woman would be expressing grossly forward and unsolicited interest in them. It's not all that surprising that a woman with unfortunate or downright hideous looks would want a relationship more than a woman who could have nearly whoever she wants in her immediate daily surroundings. The grass is always greener on the other side. For what it's worth, most-but-obviously-not-all women who claim to be happier single would be singing a different tune pretty quickly if they woke up horribly disfigured tomorrow. The people who get a ton of attention tend to want less and the people who get zero tend to want more.

stuffeson · 2026-01-02T12:26:12+00:00

As a parent of young kids and living with my partner. It does sound perfectly reasonable that younger people in their 20s / early 30s, both men and women, even slightly unattractive ones who are single are happier, than if you have a partner. Why? Because then you have plenty of time, looks, money and few responsibilities so you can do plenty of fun stuff. Sound like great times. !!!

The problem gets when you reach older ages. Late 30s, 40s, 50s, 60s, 70s. Then it just simply is not as fun anymore to be single and alone. Especially when all your friends pop off to have kids and dont have time for you anymore. Having a spouse when you are 20s early 30s is an investment for your future happiness and family.

But just because that parner is a nice investment for the future. It doesnt detract from the happiness you have as a single person.

TermAggravating8043 · 2026-01-02T11:10:36+00:00

Right guys,

Either all women always have options, be it orbiters or fuck buddies or can just hit a dating app and have floods of guys desperate for her

Or we genuinely acknowledge that some women find dating hard too

Pick one

-Shes-A-Carnival · 2026-01-02T12:41:46+00:00

people who claim it are also not talking about "truly undesirable women". in fact, no normal human dating discourse is about undesirable loser ugly dregs, ever. when people make passing statements about dating love and romance they are never ever ever ever talking about the experience of the bottom of the barrel, like ever.

Green_Quiet1717 · 2026-01-02T12:37:19+00:00

Obviously, if the singleness was a choice. It's not a choice if there weren't any options to choose from in the first place.

It's just that, in general, a lot of men equate success to having a romantic relationship, but this mindset is not as prevalent in women.

In the pool of people who actively choose to not be a romantic relationship, there are more women than men. These people you're referring to are obviously not in that same pool.

Confident_Counter471 · 2026-01-02T13:33:34+00:00

Yall take things to their extremes. Yes most people would prefer to find an ideal partner, that is the best option.

What most women mean when they say they’d rather be single is that they would rather be single than be with the WRONG man. The idea is that a bad relationship is worse than no relationship at all and they would rather be in no relationship.

RelativeYak7 · 2026-01-02T11:22:28+00:00

You can ask your mom or grandma if they'd be interested in dating again if their partner died. Most say no and if they feel safe being honest will tell you why.

Disastrous_Agent9307 · 2026-01-02T15:06:24+00:00

Happily Commited > Single Unhappily Committed < Single

Even unattractive women aren't lying about the math. They're just longing for the top option.

Whiskeymyers75 · 2026-01-02T09:50:33+00:00

I’d argue they haven’t really spoken to regular women either. Only the Reddit femcels

Past-Shoulder-631 · 2026-01-02T12:09:26+00:00

I’ve spoken to single mothers and they’re the most bitter people on earth

DietTyrone · 2026-01-02T14:43:14+00:00

the problem was never men its the utter lack of romantic intimacy, not just sex.

Expanding on this part in particular, there's a big difference between a woman who is single because she genuinely prefers it to being in a committed relationship vs a woman who is single because all the guys she liked refused to commit to her. Only one of those is actually a choice, yet I feel like there are women in the second category that often get lumped in with the first category. Maybe it makes some of them feel better and empowered if they pretend it was a choice they made instead of the result of failing to achieve what they wanted.

jorts-enthusiast · 2026-01-02T17:39:18+00:00

So is it “all women have endless options and can date whoever they want” or “some women struggle to date too?”

Tylikcat · 2026-01-02T20:17:44+00:00

I'm not sure I'm a good arbiter of who is a truly unattractive women. Certainly not to men! (Not sure we'd agree about the cute soft butch lesbians, say...)

But when I think about the women I know who have been ignored, they mostly didn't make much of an effort to put themselves out there. I'm not saying they should have - most of the couples in our social groups met through social groups, and these are women who have active social lives, though chunks of that are focused in places that tend to have less men. (Quilting. Gardening. Choir, etc.) Here I see a lot of folks arguing that any woman could go down to a bar, or put up a profile on a dating site and get a ton of takers. And while this is technically true, I'm thinking of women for whom these strategies are beyond unlikely. I could take them to my local roadhouse for good food and what conversation we can manage over the noise, but they aren't going to flirt - hell, they aren't going to meet anyone new. They'd never put up such a profile, and if we bullied them into it, they'd be pretty horrified by the sleaze quotient. And really, if one of them said "This is stupid and gross," it's not like I could disagree.

And these are women I know men have been interested in in the past, though it didn't work for various reasons. If anything, these are women who didn't center men in their lives in the first place - and if they met the right match socially, would have settled down years ago.

I'm not saying there aren't women who aren't seriously undesirable and much more interested in looking for partners?

Blunt552 · 2026-01-03T23:04:50+00:00

Have to disagree here, women who claim that are simply miserable most of the time and are coping or gaslighting others into misery so that they can feel better about themselves. Iv'e seen tons of those types giving horrible advice and cheering for anyone to stay alone and single. They know they can't 'step out' of it and didn't have enough 'fun' in their younger days.

Winter-Item4335 · 2026-01-04T00:02:46+00:00

Agree Undesirable women know there undesirable and are bitter angry people

No-Rough-7390 · 2026-01-02T12:36:16+00:00

As a rule of thumb, self reported data from women should be treated with great skepticism unless you are willing to deduce what is unspoken behind it.

In terms of the OP, I’m sure women who state the are happily single believe it because it protects their ego investments. What it’s normally an indicator of is that they can’t lock down the man they want. If THE guy showed up for them, they’d stop being single.

A great display of this are famous women like Eva Mendez who proudly stated she never wanted kids, meets THE dude (in this case Ryan Gosling), and then suddenly she’s leaving Hollywood and having a family.

Making a virtue out of a necessity is a go to move for women so they don’t have to feel bad about mistakes they’ve made. She solely dated hot guys of a certain type but then married dad bod normie? Attraction grew over time. Is staying in an abusive relationship everyone knows she should leave? He’s misunderstood and she’s the only one that can help him. OF? Sex work is empowering. Leaves OF? The porn industry is manipulative and she was used. She loves him? But she’s not IN love with him.

I could go on, but basically this is why the only reliable info to go off of is behavior.

ChewedMyWayOutOfThat · 2026-01-02T14:00:02+00:00

People who claim women are "happier single"

You mean researchers that conduct studies, like this one?

https://www.artsci.utoronto.ca/news/new-study-finds-single-women-are-happier-single-men

have never spoken to a truly undesirable woman

So had these researchers spoke to an undesirable woman, it would magically invalidate their findings and it would be revealed that the respondents were actually liars who exaggerated their happiness and were miserable. They would then marry men, become happier and end the stupid gender wars. Is this what you're saying?

The 'happily single' takes pop articles keep shitting out written by and for the women

The people making this claim are referencing neutral researchers who collected data and came to a conclusion. Had the researchers found that single women were as happy or more miserable than single men, they would have fucking said so. The only shitting done here is by men with their baseless assertions from their unwashed asses.

Single women are happier than single men. However, l have found conflicting research on whether single women are happier than married women. I can't find a source other than Dolan's study, so l cannot conclude that single women are happier than married women. l can definitely conclude that married men are happier than single men.

In every metric, men's lives are improved by marriage. However, marriage does not have the same effects for women.

https://www.the-independent.com/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-stress-of-marriage-shortens-your-life-by-a-year-if-you-re-the-wife-5335547.html

Marriage helps husbands to an extra 1.7 years, but it knocks 1.4 years off the average wife's lifespan, according to the study of more than 100,000 people

https://jamanetwork.com/journals/jamanetworkopen/fullarticle/2792821

In our study, we found that being unmarried was associated with higher mortality among men but not among women, reflecting the possibility that, in Asian marriages, gender inequality in the division of domestic labor and high expectations of childcare for women may counteract the health benefits of marriage among women

Back to your "stupid gender wars". No. Fuck that. May the gender wars persist in perpetuity with every woman that avoids parasitic relationships with men to live her best life. Women should leave men to miserably die earlier like the chore-digging shits that they are.

Cool_Ranch_2511 · 2026-01-02T09:59:35+00:00

It's more of pre-emptive narrative shaping given that singleness is definitely in the cards for many women as they enter middle age, and all the good men are taken, and they were passed up for, generally better women than them.

When you press them on the lie, it quickly shifts form to "happier single than men who are single" or "happier single than in an abusive relationship".

That's why the small group of unattractive women who never had a shot don't matter. There's a narrative to push to make the large majority (mid women) feel ok.

Objective_Ad_6265 · 2026-01-02T11:50:17+00:00

Noone is happy single. It's just lesser evil than a man you are not attracted to.

ConstipatedAvocado · 2026-01-02T10:49:29+00:00

Its not even that. A lot of women front, a lot more than men. I tend to find when a dude is struggling with the opposite sex, he's far more likely to admit to himself. Its whats made me always doubt those "men report themselves as more attractive than women" studies I always see. Take a look at much of the data people use to prescribe this "male loneliness epidemic", you'll often find much of it only reports men struggling up until 30, and then the rate of singledom drops off a cliff. What is interesting is that loneliness/singledom/sexlessness data is actually a lot higher among female gen Zers than their millennial/gen X counterparts however there is hardly any online/media discourse about femcels or lonely women. When women struggle, it often seems to get blamed on men.

Also women dont understand the experience of "truly undesirable" women because there are hardly any "truly undesirable" women. The baseline effort the average woman puts into her appearance is far higher than the average man and thus highly undesirable women are often an outlier hardly worth discussing. What is actually interesting is maybe the middle 50% demographic (lets say 20% of women are universally attractive, 20% are decent looking and 10% are irredeemably unattractive) who are middling. These women are often either overweight or possessing some kind of trait which makes them potentially unappealing to the opposite sex. I often think, in very few cases, are any of this demo are happily single.

And, TBH, even in general. I'm starting to see romantasy memes dominate my social media feed (weird because I've never read a romantasy book in my life...my wife's into it tho) and so much of those memes seem to poke fun at the cliched character traits and tropes that would have the most ardent redpiller blush (most of the female protagonists are exceptionally young, petite, nubile and large breasted and the men exceptionally tall, dominant, rich, and powerful). So much of women's self worth and interest is tied to their romantic well being. For all the complaints about "porn brained" men, the most popular discourse online about male interests never seem to feature shit about onlyfans thots or pornstars. Its insane how intimacy and sexuality dominate so much of women's interests and yet men have somehow accused of being the ones who lament their singledom. People seem to forget that incels/redpillers are a very loud minority.

gaslighterr · 2026-01-02T10:03:10+00:00

sometimes undesirable woman turn resentful and don’t seek relationships with men

MissParTee · 2026-01-02T10:03:22+00:00

Having a boyfriend is embarrasing now.

https://www.vogue.com/article/is-having-a-boyfriend-embarrassing-now

I’m married, but we will tell our daughter to decenter men until some great man comes along, indeed.

mrcs84usn · 2026-01-02T11:37:55+00:00

The two things about this happier single thing.

How old were they when they were being asked about their happiness? People, generally are unhappier if they are in their 40s-50s and they are “unpartnered.”
This whole thing flies in the face of how many women are on some kind of psych med. I really question their happiness regardless of their relationship status.

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matthedev · 2026-01-02T21:10:50+00:00

In my opinion, most people can do things to improve their odds of attracting someone. There are obviously going to be variables that make it harder for some people than others, and there are going to be, I think, a small minority of people who have some major deformity or disfigurement that might make things challenging, no matter what they do.

For example, if someone is overweight, working on things to improve their fitness would not only make them healthier but also attract more people. If there are other blockers to those steps, then working on those may be a prerequisite.

The other thing is location. I'm considering making a move in significant (but not exclusive) part to improve my dating opportunities. For example, I leaned in hard to health and fitness during the pandemic, and that does vastly expand the pool of women who are initially attracted to me, but where I live now, that's still a small pool, and where initial attraction is mutual, I find the women are often not truly single (going from "I have a boyfriend," to, "it's not serious"). I can go weeks at a time, though, without seeing a woman I'm attracted to here, and it seems to have gotten rarer in the past couple of years, so I've concluded something just totally broke here. Visiting other cities is eye opening: like having lived in the desert and come to an oasis. There are other reasons to move, too: Things feel stagnant here, kind of dead.

I do think, if a woman is struggling elsewhere and she has truly "done the work" of dealing with any underlying psychological issues, being gainfully employed, hitting the gym, and working on diet, well, the bar isn't even on the ground for women in St. Louis, Missouri.

JuFufuO_o · 2026-01-03T00:33:39+00:00

They are for sure not happy while being single , yes single happiness works and it applies to average and above average women 18-30 Imo and then it stops , women become so isolated especially after having kids / divorced etc. and they're touch starved that they're willing to date guy who has harem rather than being alone.

They are for sure not happy being alone 30-70 which is majority of their life

It's just online coping tbh.

Unattractive women have it worse since beginning , 18-70 not just 30-70 , so basically just like men , they experience what average and below average men do most of the time.

mashedturnip · 2026-01-03T04:29:39+00:00

The claim is that most single women aren’t truly undesirable

These-Purpose-7019 · 2026-01-03T05:13:54+00:00

True i seen a tiktok of a woman whos never had anyone and she sounds just like the chronically single men. Im different than alot of blackpillers in that I acknowledge true femcels exist, its just that years of women claiming it or claiming to be forever alone just to find out they either have experiences and or people who want them, it makes it harder for true femcels to be believed.

Keep_calm_or_else · 2026-01-05T17:19:59+00:00

Older women don't reminisce about having to deal with men and all their heartaches and disappointments. Unless they truly loved their husbands and they died rather than get divorced, most women are happy to forget that mess and pretend it never happened.
Attractive women receive positive sexual attention more often than not. Unattractive women do still receive sexual attention, but it's negative. It can be degrading if not outright scary.
Decentering men is about not falling for the fairy tale. Don't put all of your yearnings on the shoulders of one person, least of all your partner. LGBT aren't generally sold the lie that your partner will sweep you off your feet and save you. They are unfortunately used to being let down by other people, but that's another discussion.

pie-mart · 2026-01-09T01:20:09+00:00

Cuz being single by choice vs force is not the same

Look at a bachelor vs ahhh lack for a better word, incel.

One can be in a relationship but chooses not to. The other... cant. Or seemingly can't

I am happier as a woman single cuz having a relationship is a huge responsibility that take time, work, effort, and money. I have to be responsible for someone else's feelings and emotions. Regulate mine and theirs

And I just know it is easier for me to have my friends and just not have to deal with the extra crap it takes to maintain a relationship i am fine without

Competitive_Swan_130 · 2026-01-10T08:18:52+00:00

But those women don't want to be single. I'm not single now but when I was I had amazing times and did things I wouldn't have been able to do if I had to consider somebody else.

United_Donkey8368 · 2026-01-12T12:07:59+00:00

No creo nada de eso. 1. Las mujeres relmente lo sexual no es lo que nos llama, de echo muchas prefieres quedarse solteras y célibes, porque se sintieron usadas sexualmente y no quieren seguir sintiéndose así, hay que entender la diferencia entre hombres y mujeres. 2. De echo no, a la mayoría de la smujeres sno nos gusta el sexo casual y incluso si eres poco atractiva habrá hombres que quieran contigo. 3. Estoy de acuerdo con eso, querían romance y esos hombres querían sexo, pero a nosotras no se nos hace necesidad la sexualidad de por si, eso es lo mínimo la mayoría de mujeres están más satisfechas con vibrados o ellas mismas que hombres, los hombres satisfacen menos.

Darth-Hakujou · 2026-01-02T16:55:41+00:00

I feel really sorry for a femcel. Unfuckable to ppl that "will fuck anything" 😭😭😭

Lysa_Bell · 2026-01-02T12:00:17+00:00

Which one is it? That even the fat ugly women have an easy time dating the hot Chad like how its claimed so much on here, so staying single and happy is actually a choice. Or that some women do actually struggle and the narrative of the happy single woman is just propaganda?

There seems to be no agreement on how women being single are viewed by men on here.

Chance_Dog_6281 · 2026-01-03T06:26:51+00:00

So you're really arguing that there aren't women who are happy to be single because there are some out that almost no one will touch? That's a hot take. I have no doubt there are many women out there who are tired of all the bull shit that comes with being in relationships or married. I'm a man and quite frankly I didn't seek out my gf, she asked me out. I wasn't looking nor was I really interested in a relationship. We're together 5 years now and although I'm happy and I love her, I know that I'd probably be just as content single if I had good friends.

ComfortableTragedy · 2026-01-02T14:27:45+00:00

When it comes to sexual desirability:

Ugly Women >= Ugly Men (0 - 3)

Average Women > Average Men (4 - 6)

Attractive Women >= Attractive Men (7 - 10)

There is no scenario where women are less sexually desirable than their male equivalents; thus, using the word women as a means to compare all woman vs all men still holds.

mrbonee69 · 2026-01-02T16:17:31+00:00

Women who are so unattractive that no man would fuck them are at the bottom 20% of SMV for women. Meanwhile, men who are so unattractive (to women) are usually within the bottom 50%. I will start caring about any issue women have regarding being lonely as soon as women start caring about men being lonely.

Title	People who claim women are "happier single" have never spoken to a truly undesirable woman
Author	Crazy_Kray
Upvotes	109
Comments	218
Date	January 2, 2026 9:45 AM UTC (6 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1q1uk9a/people_who_claim_women_are_happier_single_have/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/people-who-claim-women-are-happier-single-have.1570219 https://theredarchive.com/post/1570219

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