About once every month or two, there’s a post somewhere on Reddit, by a woman, saying something like, “My boyfriend suddenly started doing Red Pill stuff and now I want out,” followed by 4-6 paragraphs explaining how her boyfriend is now a controlling, abusive asshole who works out and wants sex (because these traits are, of course, very, very unique to The Red Pill, and any guy who exhibits them obviously went online, found us, and we ruined him). These threads get seized upon by our detractors, who eagerly point out: “See? See!? The Red Pill doesn’t ‘work’ ! It just ends relationships and turns guys into assholes!”
Independent of what is and is not actually “Red Pill behavior,” situations like these are based a bad assumption. Simply put, in examples like this, the lamenting woman has presupposed that prior to her man’s “changes”, their relationship was actually good, and he was actually happy. Then he ruined everything by reading some bullshit online that told him how his relationship ought to be, then trying to implement it.
This begs the question: If the relationship was fine before the boyfriend went all Red Pill on his woman, why is he trying to change things? Why did he go on the internet and seek out the manosphere? If he’s happy with his relationship the way it is, why is he trying to find ways to improve his sex life and become more assertive? (All of this, of course, assumes that a) the stories presented on Reddit are true; and b) the man actually sought out The Red Pill and didn’t just stop kissing his girlfriend’s ass for any number of other reasons.)
The Red Pill is here because men aren’t happy. They don’t want to be sweet and sensitive and do things for women all day long and be the “perfect boyfriend,” while having subpar sex once every six weeks, paying out the ass for expensive dates and gifts, sacrificing personal time, and getting bitched at and threatened with a break-up if any of this perfect behavior ever dips slightly. They don’t want to give backrubs and footrubs, stay at home one weekend a month while their women have a night out with the girls, get disrespected and talked about behind their backs, get cheated on (but just harmless, meaningless mistakes that don’t really count!), and get berated when they push back against any of this. They don’t want to let women move in, rent-free, and get pressured to buy a ring for a four-digit number of dollars and tie their finances to someone who makes less than half as much money, just because they’ve been “dating awhile” and “it’s time” and they’re “supposed to.”
Sure, everything’s hunky-dory for these girlfriends, but for the men, everything is NOT happy. Everything is NOT going well. And men are sick of it.
When a 28-year-old man with an entitled bitch of a girlfriend of 5 years stumbles across the Red Pill, he reads stories about men not so much older than he is who don’t have or want girlfriends. They don’t need a girlfriend because they have four or five women fucking their brains out on a regular basis outside of a relationship. They barely spend a cent on dates or activities. They barely lift a finger to impress women. But girls can’t seem to get enough of them.
And what these men do seems so simple. Work out, focus on your career, practice your social skills and get confident, develop useful skills and interesting hobbies – essentially, quit wasting time. Read non-fiction instead of fiction, watch less TV, play less video games, quit jerking off to porn, spend that time doing something that makes you physically, mentally, or socially better. The Red Pill tells men that their time is valuable, and to use it well. Hand in hand with that, The Red Pill tells men that since their time is their most valuable resource, quit wasting it on women when you’re not getting something of equal value in return. If your girlfriend is ugly, sexually ungenerous, lazy, or just an entitled bitch that expects you to do all kinds of crap for her just to maintain the pleasure of having a girlfriend, is it really worth all of the time and energy you expend? When you could be doing something that actually improves your life?
The Red Pill exists because many men aren’t happy. Because these relationships that are allegedly “just fine” are very much NOT just fine. Because men are giving so much to their women and getting so little, with the assumption that merely existing – merely being a presence in the man’s life – is all a woman needs to do to become his highest priority. That men should be falling over themselves getting in line for the right to say “I have a girlfriend,” and nothing more. Men are sick of this.
Guys in the “my man went Red Pill and ruined our relationship” Reddit posts probably aren’t actually going to internet sites to get an instruction manual for how to piss off their girlfriends. They’re just normal guys who know in the pit of their stomach that something is wrong – that they’re wasting their lives, and that they’re not happy. It’s not their girlfriends’ fault, it’s theirs. And they decide one day, for whatever reason, to try to take control of their lives, of their relationships, and build something they’re actually proud of. And steps 1 and 2 of that process involve asserting yourself and living the way you want, and expecting the people with whom you associate (e.g., your woman) to add value to your life equal to the value you’re expending. The rest of the world shorthands that behavior as “being an asshole,” and “ruining relationships.” How sad is that? Honestly and confidently pursuing the life you want, and expecting others to hold up their end of a relationship is the new Hitler.