How to get over redpill rage?

Littleknownfacts · 2019-02-12T17:22:42+00:00

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Advice should be productive and actionable.
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Please do not invalidate OP's experiences or opinions. If you find it hard to swallow, use it as a thought experiment... What would someone do if they were in that position?

yasee · 2019-02-12T17:06:31+00:00

are the women who like you now the same ones who treated you badly before?

petrichordium · 2019-02-12T17:11:35+00:00

The only real way would be to be magically transformed into an ugly, awkward hetero woman who only gets offers for NSA sex from men who aren’t really attracted to you or willing to be seen in public with you at all. The sex feels hollow and terrible to you.

Then gradually you start a glow up and all of a sudden dudes are drowning you in sloppy promises of True Love (tm). You are the perfect girl and everything you do is beautiful and they just want to be with you so much. Your silly hobbies are now cute. Even your anger is no longer fat girl bitchy rage but now a sort of imposing princess “attitude” men willingly accept and lap up. Importantly you still largely see yourself as the same person inside, but now all of a sudden people see your “Inner Beauty” lol.

Barring that, just like... develop some greater empathy or introspection and think about whether you’re even half as prosocial and angelic as your pedestaled expectations of women were. You probably aren’t and eventually you’ll realize a lot of that rage comes from some covert contract “women” never agreed to.

TheBookOfSeil · 2019-02-12T17:04:43+00:00

Sounds like you need to learn to forgive and forget.

If you’re taking the actions of some people out on others who have done nothing to you, that’s not cool.

Try learning to live “in the now.” Whatever is happening in the current moment is the most important. Forget about your past trauma if it isn’t happening anymore with those specific people, and if it is, drop them. Let them live their lives while you live yours. You’ll be better off because of it.

mwait · 2019-02-12T17:28:03+00:00

Women like attractive men. This isn't new and it isn't exactly rocket science.

As a man, you have two options. You can either resent women for liking hot dudes. Or you can make yourself as attractive as possible to reap the benefits of that fact.

Attractive people, men and women, are treated better in every facet of life. As an attractive man, you will be given better jobs, you will be paid more, promoted more, you will be given better service at restaurants and retail establishments, your opinion and advice will be taken more seriously, etc.

This is how society works.

whatdidshewrite · 2019-02-12T17:04:02+00:00

Red pill rage comes from realizing people aren't as good as you thought they were.

Most people are nothing but dumbass slaves to their emotions. Once you stop placing such high expectations on them and start treating them as they should be, you`ll have nothing to be mad about

lxnarratorxl · 2019-02-12T17:05:07+00:00

I went through a similar set of changes a few years ago. Honestly the anger and bitterness faded from me overtime, I learned from my experiences and I would say now I am in a good balance between red and blue that works well for my relationship. I spent a few years doing casual relationships but have spent the last 2 years with the same woman quite happily.

Give yourself some time but also try and remember that "women" didn't do this to you, people treated you like. Hold specific people accountable for how they treat you and others but don't blame and entire gender for what specific people did,

Tedesche · 2019-02-12T17:57:12+00:00

Develop higher standards for people, and refuse to associate with the ones who disappoint you.

One of the main mistakes I see men make in dating is going for attractive, but trashy women. Pretty girls get the world handed to them on a platter; this spoils them, and makes them entitled cunts. Don't bother with them; they're a waste of time and resources. Ignore them with extreme prejudice. Don't give them the time of day. That's how you get back at them--by refusing to be their patsy in any capacity. If they don't find a schmuck to enslave long-term, their looks will fade, and won't have developed a personality that can compensate. In other words, they'll be fucked. Just avoid them and focus on women who aren't entitled cunts.

Second, accept that most of us care about looks to some extent, and that doing so doesn't make you shallow, so don't interpret girls being attracted to you now as mean for not being attracted to you when you were overweight and acne-ridden. You put work into looking better, and it worked; this is the result. Enjoy it. It's not about you, anyone can do this. Don't take it personally.

Finally, understand and accept that raising your standards is going to restrict the amount of pussy you get. If your goal is to get tons of ass, don't bother with any of this advice I'm giving you, because the honest truth is you'll never get tons without gaming a whole bunch of women like you have been. What I'm suggesting is that you sacrifice quantity for quality. Think about what you really like in a girlfriend and start screening for those traits. Don't bother with women who don't meet them, and learn to how to be patient. It helps to have an appreciation of the perks of being single too, as you're going to need to be able to go for a long time without a relationship. Romantics have a hard time here. Basically, the idea is that there are women worth your time out there, but probably not a lot of them. To the extent that you can increase your exposure to them, do so, but the main thing is patience.

CainPrice · 2019-02-12T17:12:36+00:00

You aren't mad at women. You're mad at you.

You knew how things worked. You knew that everybody, not just women but everybody, treats good-looking, interesting, social people better than they treat the opposite. And you knew that you were a loser. You knew exactly why you were being treated the way you were treated, and you knew exactly how the world works.

It was within your power, all this time, to not be a loser, but you were a loser anyway and you reaped the consequences of being a loser. While you were overweight, boring, and timid, everyone else was having casual sex and passing you over. And you wanted to take part in the causal sex culture, but you couldn't.

You did the work, and now you're not a loser any more.

But you knew how things worked, and you knew where you stood. You were the loser, and that's on you. That's not on women. Women didn't take all of those years you could have been having casual sex from you. You did that to yourself.

First, you need to take ownership of that. It was on you, and you did it. You had your own path and your own experiences, and they weren't all bad, but they were all yours.

Second, you need to forgive yourself for having been that guy and let him go. It's okay. A lot of people struggle and a lot of people fail and a lot of people don't get it. I did, too. It's okay that you used to be that guy. You're not any more. But you'll never be everything that you can be until you forgive yourself and let that guy go. Being that guy made you who you are today, and you can take the good parts that made you strong, but leave the bad parts that are making you sad and angry and regretful.

flamingoinghome · 2019-02-12T17:54:18+00:00

Not a guy, but....I think something that might be good for you is to remember women you're not attracted to. Fat women, ugly women, old women, boring women. Surely you'll have met many. Realize that you were the male equivalent of those women--even if they're fine people with good hearts, you don't want to date them or have sex with them, and that's that. And maybe if they lost weight/dressed better/developed some personal charm, you'd change your mind. But for now you don't want them, will avoid dating them or, if somehow forced to, probably not be that into it, and that doesn't make you, or men in general, bad. Why should it be so different that women are more interested in a confident fit men, when you're more interested in women you think are pretty and good company?

(also, don't fall into the "I don't want her but someone will" trap. Fact is, even if she gets plenty of one-off tinder messages who don't reply when she answers, she's probably struggling too)

Women are people, and that means desire isn't a judgement of moral worth for them any more than it is for you.

gattaca_ · 2019-02-12T17:32:08+00:00

Anger is poisoning you, not them.
Best thing for you (and the best revenge), is to let it go, and live a happy, successful life.
There is nothing to be gained by holding onto that hurt. It makes you weaker, not stronger.

Truedemocracy4 · 2019-02-12T20:26:43+00:00

Realize you’re no better than women or the lie. Be honest with yourself. You’re only interested in that girls stupid random hobby because she’s cute. You only think she’s funny because she’s cute. Her tits and ass mean more to you than her personality

We aren’t better as men. We are different, but still animals

diffdedbed · 2019-02-12T18:08:54+00:00

You haven't embraced the real issue. You, not them, was the problem.

I have an idea to cure this in you. Find that overweight with acne socially awkward girl we all have known at some point in our lives and date her. After all looks and hygiene shouldn't matter.

But of course they do.

I made two transformations like you did. Once at 19 and once at 36.

At 19 I was just a dorky skinny fat kid who after getting used by a slutty girl and dumped, got in great shape, found my wife to be and went on with his life.

At 36 I realized I got fat and lazy and got in shape again because my wife and I were now swingers and chicks don't dig fat guys as a rule, at least the ones I was interested in.

Not once though did I blame women as a whole, it was ME the whole time. Just like a guy can't help being attracted and nicer to hot women (scientifically proven) women can't help being nicer and more attracted to hot guys.

Don't hate women for nature anymore than you hate yourself for liking tits.

reluctantly_red · 2019-02-12T17:27:36+00:00

Lost a ton of weight

I get this. I've struggled with my weight my entire life (since grade school). I learned long ago that women (and people in general) are shallow assholes. When I've managed to be reasonably fit women treat me fairly well. When I've been fat I might as well have been invisible (women were seldom rude to my face since apparently I look intimidating). Its a harsh lesson to learn -- that women don't really care about you -- only how you look (and what resources you can provide).

However, guys seem to have a need for female companionship. To satisfy this need you have to learn to accept women for what they are.

3vilg0d · 2019-02-12T17:08:47+00:00

Just accept that the women you happened to met previously were bitches and you have rage over them. Start treating each woman as an individual not a part of collective.

Rage will disappear after having a bunch of happy memories with some women. That's just how male brain works.

crushplanets · 2019-02-12T17:29:05+00:00

Women didn't like you because you were unattractive, that was your fault not there's. It sucks that women treated you like shit, nobody deserves that. But if you hated how that felt then why would you pass that feeling on to others, be better then that.

eliechallita · 2019-02-12T17:25:25+00:00

Congratulations, you've reached the natural and logical conclusion of redpill beliefs. You may now proceed directly to MGTOW, or realize that you've been fed a crock of bullshit and deprogram yourself.

Jackpot807 · 2019-02-12T17:33:39+00:00

My redeeming thought of what OP is saying is that the good ones, while they do not regard the fat and ugly men, do not do so with disgust as if they are better. They do so as we do to a 300lb woman: indifferent and maybe even with sympathy. They hope they can become better men, and they know there is nothing they can do, and that it’s all up to them. That’s whats been getting me by. I feel disgraced when I have to accept the fact that some girls won’t look at me, but as long as they sincerely wish me well, and don’t regard me as filth, I am okay with it. After all, I do the same thing to women I don’t feel attracted to.

RightfullySqualid · 2019-02-12T17:43:49+00:00

In my opinion this is a perception issue. Most people who were really rude to you and treated you bad or dismissively when you were overweight and had other issues are part of a percentage of people who are bad enough to actually be vocal about their distaste for you. If you think about it, most people simply didn't care about you. Now that you've lost weight and improved yourself a lot, a lot of the women who weren't noticing you before now are. it doesn't mean those exactly same women were the ones being awful before, or that would have been awful if they had met you earlier. Women are people too (lol), and so at the end of the day, there's women who are awful people, there's women who are incredible, and there's all the gray in between. You earlier were in a more vulnerable situation in the dating scene, so therefore you were probably more likely to encounter shitty women. Don't let this make you think everyone out there is shitty just because some people are.

ThisIsJustATr1bute · 2019-02-12T18:05:43+00:00

Also asking, is is the same women who rejected you before, or different women, on whom you seek revenge?

Do you know that it is not just women who treat people differently for shallow reasons? That is just people.

But it isn’t totally shallow. If you exercise and work hard, people see that you value yourself and consider yourself important enough to be healthy and successful, and people know that self esteem is good for dating.

This is the same exact thing that happens to obese people who lose lots of weight, people who get surgery, people who glow up, and it is not women, it is just people who act differently.

You can be mad about it, but you can be mad about gravity too.

You changed your outer packaging to send the message that you take care of yourself, and that is attractive. It’s just like running good ads for a product. They weren’t likely rejecting you as a person, but more that your image sent the message you weren’t worth getting to know and didn’t want people close to you anyway.

Hayley_42 · 2019-02-12T18:50:58+00:00

See the people who did all that to you, were horrible people. Returning that same cruelness to new women without giving them a chance is unfair and unjustified. Because you have got to remember, that not everyone is that shallow.

Don’t be like those women who treated you like sh*t in the past. Be different, show them that you didn’t let them affect you and treat others with kindness. Maybe the women you meet now will be attracted to that.

LowCreddit · 2019-02-12T19:23:05+00:00

Everyone needs their petty revenge. It's part of being human. You have now matured enough to realize that it is petty and probably hurting you. This is honestly the first step. Now that you are aware of it, you can control it. You need to internalize that women aren't evil. They are just women. Accept that all humans are shallow, mean animals and let the universe be what it is.

circlhat · 2019-02-12T21:43:12+00:00

Fat girls feel the same way when they get skinny. They also lose a lot of respect for men.

No one has a right to disrespected you, but also no one owes you anything. Think hard, where you disrespected?

This lead to me leading women on and using them for sex, and being really cruel to them after.

You don't use women for sex, they get getting just as much from it, but let them play the victim, you are still a puppet and please stop framing your emotions when you clearly don't understand them

Nodoxxintoxin · 2019-02-12T21:58:01+00:00

Insulted and laughed at? No, those are shitty people and that’s a dealbreaker. I’m guessing these were high school girls. Young kids can be shitty, the boys can be shitty bullies at that age too. If you are hanging around grown people who are STILL insulting and laughing at people who they find unattreactive you need to hang around better people. If they have grown up a bit, recognize that maybe they are a bit more mature now and move on.

Zanajin · 2019-02-12T19:04:47+00:00

Since you cannot change the past, decide who you want to be in the present. Do you WANT to be mean and vindictive on a personal quest to smite all the pretty gals? Do you want to be the laughing guy with lots of friends who sleeps well at night? Do you want to get better inside? Figure out who you WANT to be and pursue that path.

Side note, I understand having rage and not being able to let go of someone hurting you. It made me so hateful inside and I decided not to be that person. I had to forgive someone who did NOT deserve forgiveness, but I did it for my own soul. Now I sleep better.

aylaflowers · 2019-02-12T23:11:28+00:00

If women treating you badly is what you believe shaped your current view of women then try to remember that by doing the same to other women you are attributing to the continuation of the cycle. If they are left feeling worthless by your actions then by the same token they may start to develop the same feelings you have but towards men. This would lead to other men being put in the same position. By treating women better you may break the cycle

Your experiences and feelings are valid, but I hope you can at least agree that there are some good women out there. Think of any good female figures you have in your life. If you can agree with that then why would you risk making one of them feel worthless when the outcome is either them seeking revenge on men or having all the other negative confidence killers that come with being treated without respect?

In a perfect world, all relationships, be them one night stands or LTRs, are reciprocal, neither side is left with bad feelings. This is easy to achieve by treating people with common respect and knowing that you are worth the same amount of respect you give. If you can do this you will be assured that you are not contributing to the cycle, or hurting a good woman.

Uyrr · 2019-02-13T00:42:05+00:00

My advice is to stop listening to Redpill and MGTOW youtube videos and reading their articles. Despite what some believe, its not a healthy mindset. These "movements" have gone way too far, and are extremely detrimental to both men and women. I know you are doing just that from the title of your thread.

You know what you should do, though? Live by the golden rule, treat others the way that you want to be treated. I know its something that not many people adhere to nowadays, but it works wonders once you put it into effect, and the world would be a much better place if more people practiced it. You are projecting your perceived negative experiences onto other people, and nothing good will come of it.

YetAnotherCommenter · 2019-02-13T05:51:11+00:00

Always remember that human nature is amoral. It just is. Doesn't mean we can't be sad about it. The human condition isn't all roses and sunshine and "everything we want just falls from the sky".

Morality comes from dealing with this condition. But human nature is pre-moral.

You can justly loathe the women who treated you cruelly and you can resent that society essentially celebrates women being superficial and cruel to men. But rage at women for being superficial... that's like rage at women for breathing.

Not to mention, men are superficial as well. You're angry that women are no better than you are?

We can justly demand that unsexy people be treated as human individuals with an innate dignity, no differently to sexy people. So anger at blatant lookism outside of intimate lives is understandable.

But women are people too, and people want to fuck sexy people. Biology makes that happen.

desolatewinds · 2019-02-13T07:06:01+00:00

Date fat girls who would have dated you when you were fat so you know they're not just dating you for your looks.

PearsOfWrath · 2019-02-12T17:02:49+00:00

Stop being a bitch.

isweartoofuckingmuch · 2019-02-12T16:59:57+00:00

Do you need to? Stay with the ones that you feel are worth it and just sleep with the ones that aren't. You have the upper hand now so you should use it. You'll prob get over the revenge bit once you find someone you care about.

Sksjdbdbdjjfn · 2019-02-12T19:08:31+00:00

Look for women who are kind and communities that are supportive. Don't waste your time on revenge... expand your world and find the kind of people you wish you'd known then.

boomadley · 2019-02-12T20:39:18+00:00

If you are looking to release anger, I can highly recommend therapy, especially with a female therapist. It helps you talk through it and get it out in the open where you can grapple with it.

Also, try finding a place to relate to women in a completely different way. It sounds as if you have primarily been seeing women as sexual partners, whether or not you are successful with them. Try volunteering in an organization that helps women you would never consider sexually. If you learn to care about those women, it will help you overall. It sounds to me as if you are trapped in a groove of only thinking about women in one way, this could help you break into a new mind frame.

blackedoutfast · 2019-02-12T21:54:20+00:00

the past is the past man. stop dwelling on it and move on. you used to be a low value garbage tier loser male, now you are high value. of course people treat you better now. and of course people didn't treat you well when you were loser garbage. that's the natural order of things.

why are you still butthurt about some dumbass girls being mean to the old you when the new you should be enjoying life?

donkeydodo · 2019-02-12T22:03:35+00:00

Get over the angerphase. Back to the sidebar, kid

guy_24601 · 2019-02-12T23:21:25+00:00

I wouldn't treat people like garbage because you feel like you can.

Why have mercy? The framing of this is horrible, but I'll answer. do you tell yourself/others you are a good person? would a good person do the things you are imagining doing?

Big difference between being candid, and being cruel.

daveofmars · 2019-02-13T00:09:53+00:00

Read Meditations by Marcus Aurelius.

“The best revenge is not to be like your enemy.”

Your opinion is 100% within your power and letting resentment fester is going to ruin your life.

Bigsmell1983 · 2019-02-13T00:54:02+00:00

You're still pedestalizing women and letting them control you. So you still have a long way to go. You're one step away from being the same beta you were but even more angry - say you get an injury and gain weight again - you'll be right back to being a loser. Are you even getting laid now? Cos you still sound like a frustrated neckbeard.

You're still clinging onto your Disney dream and your fantasy is still intact, so your values haven't changed yet. You are essentially still a teenager at heart because you haven't accepted the world as it is yet.

Realise that women rejecting you in the past wasn't a bad thing as such, it was just that you were a loser and too soft to cope with it. See your anger now - you still aren't coping with it. You haven't changed yet.

And realise now that your anger is misplaced, and that you're still a loser deep down. Every guy gets rejected and tested at times.

Your ego is dependent on women, you need them to validate your existence. That's sad because as I said, if you slip then you'll be back to a no validation life. Find something in life that isn't about being attractive. As you are now, you'll always be wrapped around their fingers. You'll get betad hard by the first one you fall for.

ThinSpiritual · 2019-02-13T05:48:16+00:00

Anger phase is angry.

To me, it sounds like you didn't really internalize all the concepts yet. You can identify theories and verify them in real life, but part of you still don't really accept it.

"Why is world so fucked up?" Because you are not fully unplugged yet. Being out of rapport with the former value system that has supported you all your life feels uncomfortable, and it will get lonelier and lonelier.

Until... You realize and fully accept that it's not people's fault, it's not women's fault, it's YOUR FAULT for not accepting this system, for not accepting the reality for what it is. RP is a tool, you can use it to make yourself happy or you can use it to make yourself feel cynical.

analt223 · 2019-02-12T17:07:10+00:00

Honestly I dont think its possible to completely get over the anger. The time lost from believing bullshit will always be there. Just dont let it consume your life every minute of the day.

wobbleelbbow · 2019-02-12T18:35:37+00:00

This lead to me leading women on

they were asking for it

using them for sex

they use you for money ATM all the time

and being really cruel to them after

women are cruel to their men all the time

You haven't swallowed the pill. It is stuck in your throat for a time being. You either swallow it and accept reality of women being just as faulty as men or you vomit it out and go back to your belief that women are sugar and cream.

Stop putting them on pedestal. They are NOT better than you. The only thing that most of women have to offer is their vaginas. That's it.

Pastelitomaracucho · 2019-02-12T20:36:56+00:00

Tal todo people, have friends, go out, date.

RP anger is fueled by the same principles of racism, homophobia and xenophobia: women are different, they are not like us and their existence is a threat to our wellbeing.

If you have black friends, gay friends, immigrant friends or you just happen to travel a lot, you probably understand why these phobias are useless.

Women is not a different case.

MidnightMaple91 · 2019-02-12T18:01:45+00:00

As long as you realize that you are the asshole, not these women who have never done anything bad to you, and being angry at all women will only leave you alone and sad. When you “turn the tables” on them, they aren’t coming to some grand revelation about being nice to losers. They just think you are a huge piece of shit.

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sadomasochrist · 2019-02-12T17:53:04+00:00

This lead to me leading women on and using them for sex, and being really cruel to them after. I wanted them to feel the same way they made me feel. Worthless.

You have to get to a point where you understand they're also chasing the dragon. Basically they haven't reached the point where they realize the chads aren't interested in committing.

At that point, they occupy an inferior developmental position and you don't really get emotionally invested in it.

Let me put it this way, the only woman that should really instill a sense of true burning interest is one that genuinely wants to make a man happy in the ways you want to be made happy, without relegating you to the role of dancing monkey.

Now this isn't nAWALT, because of course if you failed the duty of performance then we all know how that goes, but let's just use this as a mental placeholder.

Let's say this woman is 5% of the female population. At least from here you can know you're dealing with the 95% population most of the time. And so you can mentally bin her as basically just a beggar looking for her cake and to eat it too. It's an easy write off.

Listen to her talk about all the tropes you expect, pay her lip service and get yours.

As they say, the best revenge is living well. To know that you're not part of that paradigm anymore is real freedom. To look at it top down etc.

There's great satisfaction once you get to that point. It's like when you're old enough to laugh at younger people who KNOW they'll never have kids or get married and are TOTALLY TOTES sure they want to be an astronaut etc. Figuratively you just pat them on the head even if you know they'll probably be in a desk job with 2 kids and married.

Do you really care that they don't know shit from shinola? You're just a product of their profound lack of introspection and enshrined ignorance. So knowledge is what frees you, not just in how you operate, but how you view them.

JanuaryArya · 2019-02-12T19:42:25+00:00

Start with learning more about the Think/Feel/Act cycle. I’ve been applying these techniques towards over indulging in alcohol and listening to podcasts on the subject. You can apply it to anything though.

If you notice yourself thinking thoughts like: i want to inflict pain, I hate women. They were cruel. I want revenge. Why should I be the better person?

Try to change them to something more palatable like: Those experiences helped me grow. I learned to have higher standards. You never become successful without failure.

The first thoughts will lead to feelings: physical sensations in your body, like anger, distrust, disgust.

The second set of thought can lead you to different feelings: motivation, determination, feeling proud.

Finally, your actions will reflect your new thoughts and feelings.

Interesting stuff.

mistercheeez-o____O- · 2019-02-12T20:15:14+00:00

It will take some time. Eventually, as your wounds begin to heal, you will be able to view women more individually, and you will treat them accordingly.

Your consciousnes may be finite, and it could be assumed that the greatest portion of your existence will be the record that has been accrued of the life you've once directed. A substantial portion, and perhaps the most important portion of that record, the only portion that could approximate a multidimensional representation of your formerly mundane existence, will consist of the memory of how you treated those with whom you've engaged in close contact. Eventually you will exist through the memory of who you once were.

trail22 · 2019-02-13T00:29:49+00:00

I am no red piler but I always believed red pil rage was about wanting to be liked for the things you liked about yourself or were proud of.

I read that in models I think where he saif if you are not living in a way congruent with your values you will end up angry and resentful.

I think this holds especially true for red pil guys who are succesful.

You got what you wanted but not for being the person you value.

It is a choice though. Be the person you want to be and possibly be alone, or be what other people want and have love, a family and kids.

despisedlove2 · 2019-02-13T03:38:57+00:00

That you still have rage implies that you haven't yet completed taking the red pill. A person gets angry when they expect better than what they get. Your expectations are still blue pill. Get rid of that deadweight and focus on what is really important in life.

[deleted] · 2019-02-13T16:46:07+00:00

I have had some brutal, traumatic rejections in my lifetime which have given me serious trust issues with women when it comes to dating that I honestly don't think I'm ever going to heal from. I believe there is nothing absolutely wrong with criticizing women even if it pisses almost everyone off, but I don't believe in holding grudges; my experience with grudges has made me experience some of the darkest emotions of my life. The finding of the decades-long Harvard Grant Study that wellbeing and success is tied to the warmth of relationships, also would suggest that holding grudges could do serious damage to a person's life. Just let it go for your own sake. If you find dating to be too fucked up, just avoid it, focus on finding out what it means to heal yourself. Motivation leads you on paths that change yourself, traumatic motivation leads you on paths that change reality.

Mira_nom · 2019-02-14T01:24:23+00:00

I think your rage is actually directed toward attractive people but you've somehow channeled this towards attractive women for obvious reasons; they're the ones you were interested in and they're the ones that have rejected you after all.

Ultimately, it's as silly to blame attractive member of the opposite or appropriate sex to reject you than it is to blame bees in being attracted to flowers emitting certain scents, as opposed to say, other less "pleasing" scents.

We're all shallow (you included, if you ever preferred attractive women at least) to some degrees and it's useless to blame people for having certain preferences in a mate (fertility cues for females, health and strength cues for males).

zayelion · 2019-02-14T04:10:26+00:00

For me it didnt come, it was more like pity... my personality does not anger much.

I went from begging to threesomes, in a matter of months it was rather jarring. The main thing was that I had read a book on evolutionary behaviorism. That allowed me to justify female behavior as in defense of ones own existence and genetic future. Rollo's second book touches on this. I find it sorta frustrating that it is not more interwoven into RP views.

FistfulOPubes · 2019-05-11T06:57:40+00:00

You're right, this rage isn't good for you. It is going to eat you up inside until you are miserable and all alone.

To let go of rage you have to train yourself a little. Think of it as wasted fuel--it burns you up and accomplishes nothing.

Give people the benefit of the doubt more often. That asshole who cut you off in line? Maybe they're having the worst day of their life. Whether or not it's true, it's better than being angry all the time.

Consider how people are naturally programmed differently from you; they don't see the world, or themselves, or you, the same way you do. And that's OK. It's just the way it is--everyone's the star of their own sit-com.

The harsh truth is that you teach people how you want to be treated. That is not blaming you for the poor treatment you suffered. When you feel shitty for yourself, you tolerate shittiness from other people., and you perpetuate it because you received it too, right? But all that does is perpetuate a cycle of pain that prevents people from having loving relationships we all crave.

Sexual humiliation happens a lot in your teens and twenties because everyone's trying to cover up their own insecurities. Maybe of those girls were into you, but didn't know how to get your attention? They're not immune from embarrassment, shame, or shyness either. Maybe they were dishing out the same pain you're now serving.

But frankly, your rage at people doing what they naturally do--respond positively to "conventional" attractiveness--is a waste of energy. It's screaming at clouds. Instead, focus on how your hobbies, your fitness, and your newfound confidence makes you feel valuable to yourself. Learn how to really like yourself and forgive that former version of you that suffered that humiliation. I promise you, the rage will melt away.

Spurius85 · 2019-02-12T18:13:42+00:00

You still value women more than you value yourself. Think about it, you completely transformed yourself and your life; and are continuing to do so. This is fantastic. Instead of being proud of that fact, you are actually bitter because women have never loved you in the way you desired to be loved. The cold truth is that women in our society have almost no accountability to anyone in their actions, so they treat both men and many other women horrendously. If you allow this reality to subvert your goodness, life will become a never-ending torment because you will never be able to see the good that life can bring.

I would suggest that you go Monk Mode for a long while. Continue to build your life, but avoid women until you feel objectively more content and more in control. Start developing real standards for the people you allow into your lives, especially women. With these standards you will begin to meet women that do not act in this way. A woman will not feel for you in the same way that you feel for her, but there are women who hold themselves accountable to a higher standard of how they treat others; it is just exceptionally rare.

killallthenarcs · 2019-02-12T18:43:42+00:00

If you don't want to feel this way any more you need to realise that the times you were treated in ways that led to you being unhappy were comprised, as ever, of a varying mix of up to three things... reasonable self interest on the part of the person who you interacted with, anger or other negative emotion on the part of that person and malevolence on the part of that person. You need to come to terms with each of those three things as things that are HUMAN not purely female. You got treated that way by women because women were who you were interacting with... men can treat you just as bad, they would too given the right situation.

You need to understand and accept that individual women can be malevolent but as a sex they really aren't overall more so than men are. Sure you got laughed at. You could also get your jaw broken by some vicious fucker of a guy at the local pub, because he just felt like dealing out a bit of pain that day. You could get curb stomped and die in a back alley because some guy doesn't like your face. This is people. Sometimes people are malevolent. And sometimes they are really really really good. You need to calm the fuck down and realise that women are no better or worse than men they just on balance express their evil in slightly different ways and that any expectation you have had of otherwise is something that was totally down to you. The reality of evil has never been exactly hidden. It is out there. You ignored it because girls look nice, smell nice and give you nice feelings in your penis. You were wrong. None of that is directly related to being good or bad. Stop blaming an entire gender for your lack of perceptiveness.

OK. Now about women's anger. Men are angry. Women are angry too. They are angry at a bunch of things that make perfect sense from their point of view to be angry at. They are angry about the fact that male malevolence is even more threatening to them than it is to men because of the strength difference, and what this does to how they must life their lives. They are angry about man after man feeling he can take up their time, energy and ability to deal with random strangers to make an advance and still expect to be treated politely no matter how hamfisted his advance was. They are angry about modern men being in general poor quality on several measures... physically, in terms of how much they neglect to deal with real life in favor of games and porn, economically etc but most of the discourse seems to be "modern women are crap". They are angry about all the times they get asked to make coffee and no guy ever fetching them a damn coffee dammit. There's plenty for women to be angry at too. If you understand this you will calm down about a lot of the lesser slights you received. Of course she didn't want to date you and was angry at you... you were crap you didn't know you were crap despite how she's got it in her face every day how guys like you are crap and when you approached her you reminded her about the general male crapness situation.

The third thing is reasonable self interest. It is reasonable for a woman who really does not want you and does not enjoy your advances to see you off in a manner that makes sure you will never try again... if that means a mocking sneer on her face than so be it, that sneer is in her self interest, it sees that you are in no doubt where you stand. It is also reasonable for her to let you stay around so long as you behave yourself and aren't a detriment to her. If that means you spend a few months pouring yourself into being a friend, so be it, maybe that is in her self interest. These things are reasonable. She has to live in the world and she makes reasonable decisions for herself. She owes you nothing if she has given you no promises. If you're carrying a hidden agenda and it comes to nothing well shit, maybe if you had been more open and upfront it wouldn't have happened.

Look, you don't need to move on from your anger and hatred. I'm not saying you have to. So don't go arguing against any of my points by saying "why I gotta do that I don't wanna do that that's unfair!" Fine. You want to keep being angry but not reasonably assess and have some consideration for other people's anger? You want to keep being malevolent but not reasonably assess and have consideration for other people's malevolence? You want to keep being self interested but not reasonably assess and have consideration for other people's self interest? Knock yourself out dude. This is your life now.

I can assure you that to have a supportive intimate relationship in which two people are each other's best hope in life, you will be required to come to terms with the fact that other people are as full of shit (evilness, anger and bad emotions, selfishness) as you are... and do so in a manner that at least for one other person in the world is sympathetic, understanding and hopeful.

Workaholico · 2019-02-12T22:15:51+00:00

Let it burn to cinders and become ashes

You know? The world sucks, but, Why bother?

There is nothing you can do about things outside of your control, and the things you can do, you are already doing it.

Take some camping equipment and some beer and some mashmellows.

Sit with me and lets enjoy the view of the world burning.

After all, the world is crazy. Might as well make part of the fun.

leftwingsoysquad · 2019-02-12T22:39:19+00:00

Just hold frame bro.

ChadThundagaCock · 2019-02-12T23:21:12+00:00

get money, fuck bitches

shipiaozi · 2019-02-13T00:18:02+00:00

That's how the world work, accept it.

There is no such thing as a free lunch.

The_Frag_Man · 2019-02-13T04:41:44+00:00

Your feelings aren't wrong OP. You now understand through experience that they don't care about the person you are inside (your soul) but just how your body looks.

You are still the same person inside that you were before.

I think having your fun with them and messing with them is fine. Payback is payback. The important thing is not to hate yourself. You need to love yourself because nobody else will.

shonenhikada · 2019-02-13T07:31:34+00:00

Understand women only value 3 things:

Looks (height and/or face)
Money
Social status

[deleted] · 2019-02-13T15:00:23+00:00

This is a well known phenomenon that gets talked about in art, religion and philosophy. Go read the count of monte cristo and reflect what the author is trying to tell you.

Some individuals just get fucked over in life (arguably everyone, but some harder than others). And no one is going to come and give you a reason why everything is ok and you should forgive your former tormentors, and ultimately the cosmos itself. Such reasons don't exist.

All you get is the choice. The choice to cause suffering to others and continue the cycle, or break out of the cycle and devote yourself to something better. But having said that, not everyone can break out. Some people are just too fundamentally pissed off. If that's the case, just make sure you devote yourself to punishing the *worst* people you can find. That's about the best you can aim for.

Title	How to get over redpill rage?
Author	IroningBoard9191
Upvotes	63
Comments	328
Date	February 12, 2019 4:56 PM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/apvf0w/how_to_get_over_redpill_rage/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/how-to-get-over-redpill-rage.257260 https://theredarchive.com/post/257260

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