I literally cannot remember the last time a woman approached me in public for anything.

yoursultana · 2021-04-19T03:24:03+00:00

Men are asking women for “help” to get close to you or signal interest.

I saw a video of a daughter of an FBI agent saying that women should never respond to or approach men who ask for any form of help outside. Men will always ask other men if they truly need help bc they have huge egos and think women are dumber or weaker than them. Ted Bundy and plenty of other serial killers and rapists kidnapped and attacked women by first “asking them for help.”

PeachPitiless · 2021-04-19T09:15:45+00:00

When I was on my phone in Baltimore, I noticed a man in my peripherals watching me. He was standing right where I wanted to go next, so I tried to outwait him. But he wasn't budging. Finally I figured I'd walk on by, it was daytime and lots of people were about.

Sure enough, as soon as I passed he said, "Excuse me, do you know the way to the Science Center?" Of course I did, it was a block away, but I had a feeling he knew that too. I replied no without breaking stride. This man instantly said, "WHORE," in my face.

I didn't react but kept going to the street I was trying to cross. I had to wait, and kept an eye on him in my peripherals again. He just stood still, staring. Finally I could cross and when I walked, he started walking. Luckily I have good reflexes, he tried to cut me off and shoulder check me. I stopped at the last second so his angry petulant shoulder swipe hit nothing but air.

Yeah, no point in talking to these psychos.

Saeyato · 2021-04-19T09:58:46+00:00

Whenever I've been stopped by a woman it's been for really quick easy things like "hey where does the no.10 bus leave from" or just really basic stuff that takes no more than a few seconds

Meanwhile, with random men I've been asked to:

Lend him my phone (repeatedly, even after I refused- I was literally in the middle of a call)
Watch an infant child while he grabs some things
Give him my lunch
Buy him a bus ticket
Hold a bus for over 10 mins so he could go to the toilet

And that's not even mentioning all of the disgusting pick-up tactics that I've had to avoid. The entitlement.

randomgirlimok · 2021-04-19T03:00:10+00:00

A woman will ask a question to the store worker or other appropriate person to ask, not a random person.

FDS-GFY · 2021-04-19T02:40:58+00:00

Had a guy approach as I was walking my dog to ask for directions.

I gave him precise directions as I knew the place.

Him: “you SURE?”

Me: you asked me. You decide.

Him: ......

LevellingUpTime · 2021-04-19T02:55:30+00:00

I've only had women approach me in order to be helpful (your tire is flat, your skirt is caught and riding up etc) or to compliment my clothing

I once had a group of 5 men in a car pull up to my house, get out and ring the doorbell obviously trying to scope out whether it was empty so they could rob it... my dogs went ballistic and they tried to say they were lost and asked for directions to the shopping centre. Like, are you serious? Men don't ask randoms for genuine help, especially young men who have phones. There's nearly always an ulterior motive. I wouldn't even trust an old man in a wheelchair now thanks to Ted Bundy

Men can honestly go live on Mars, and they can take all their "inventions" and wars whatever else they say we need them for with them

greeneyesrosylips · 2021-04-19T05:05:18+00:00

My NVM's father car once broke down in a street when I was with him. He was trying to fix it when he decided to ask a woman (who was in her car) to help him. She agreed (while still in the car) but once he wasn't looking she drove off. I don't think she saw me, and I wish I could have done something (I was 20 at the time) but I'm scared of my father myself. He was SO angry that she dared not help him. I tried to explain that as women we need to be careful and that he's not entitled to a complete stranger's help, let alone from a woman who is alone, but instead he started screaming at me. Yeah. He doesn't really care about my safety either, for anyone wondering.

FDS-GFY · 2021-04-19T04:42:36+00:00

We all have smart phones and downloading Google Maps is free.

He can figure it out himself.

Never respond to a man who asks for help. Just keep walking.

I have had women ask me for directions or assistance. I think I have a wholesome or non threatening vibe. I have had French lady tourists, mums with kids feeling lost in the city, or old dears in the mall trying to find a particular shop. I always stop and give them my attention.

A man - nope. Ignore Ignore Ignore.

I had men in cars ask me for directions when I was a child. I shudder to think what would have happpened if my instincts didn't compel me to retreat to safety and not respond.

Platipus6 · 2021-04-19T03:02:24+00:00

So many men ask me for the time, or directions. Like, you bums don't have a phone??

I tell them I don't know the time and then wave goodbye with my watch-hand.

Hostileovaries · 2021-04-19T08:01:15+00:00

Not a stranger but I had a guy text me and ask if he should take a medicine? And then ask me several hours later if he could take it again? What?! I am not holding the bottle, I'm not your doctor? Why are you texting someone you've never met in real life?!

VanessaViews · 2021-04-19T11:35:07+00:00

I was walking alone the other day in a fairly busy area with my headphones in and this man rushed up to me very fast ( to the point it legit startled me) and tried to talk to me. I told him to please stay six feet away. I told him women do not like when men come up to them when they are walking alone. He replied sleazily "well what do women like then?" I told him women like when their space and boundaries are respected and for him to not do what he did to me again. He got so mad and asked if my name was "karen" I said no my name isn't Karen and that I'm not a Karen for wanting my space and boundaries respected. He said "have a good day Karen" and finally left me alone. Like the audacity to be upset because someone called you out for not respecting their space. He really felt entitled to be in my space and bother me and during a pandemic no less.

AlextheAnalyst · 2021-04-19T04:44:47+00:00

Also this is a redpill tactic. They openly discuss using this as an opener for women they are interested in.

They are taking advantage of the female (socialised) proclivity to be "nice and helpful".

I was once walking my pupperino at the beach and this man asked me to help him zip up his wetsuit. The zipper is at the back of the wetsuit. But wetsuits have tag thingies on the zipper you can use to zip up.

LOL A GROWN MAN CAN'T DRESS HIMSELF

I literally said "you can do it yourself" and kept walking.

eclo · 2021-04-19T10:54:43+00:00

I’ve had women ask me stuff like directions or the time, but no woman has ever yelled at me from a passing car, followed me, kept talking to me when it’s obvious I’m not interested, encroached on my personal space, told me to smile, leered at me etc

Alisha_Reddit · 2021-04-19T11:08:56+00:00

One time a guy about three times my age asked me if he was bleeding in his face? Because he was scared he had cut himself while shaving and he came closer so I can take a better look, I guess. Ofc he wasn't bleeding or anything, he just needed to be a step or two closer to me because I have big boobies and wore a fitted shirt. I was 17 at the time and just said no and smiled 😭 wish I had the courage to just look him in the eye and walk away from him, but at the time I was too embarrassed and scared to walk right past him.

uwuwowowuwu · 2021-04-19T04:02:00+00:00

Honestly women are so kind. I was visiting a specialist doctor's office in an area I wasn't familiar with the other day. When I got off the subway, I tried to orient myself near an intersection, probably looking very confused as I stared blankly into my phone's Google Maps. Half a minute later, a woman approached me and asked if I was looking for directions. She approached me and offered her kindness just because she wanted to help. And she did, I found where I needed to go with her directions. It warms my heart.

AlextheAnalyst · 2021-04-19T11:35:38+00:00

When I was 15 I was doing a community service project at the library and needed to be there before they opened. I was the only person walking to the library. An older man (maybe 40, late thirties) pulled over on the other side of the road and asked me where the train station was. I told him that it was at the very end of the road we were on, he just had to continue to follow the road and he'd be there. He said thanks and drove off. Ten seconds later, he was pulling up right next to me, saying he couldn't find it. He said to get in and show him where it was. At that point I got scared and walked faster. It was blatantly obvious that he had not been looking for the station, and had just used the first driveway he saw to turn around and follow me.

Thankfully I had reached the library, but I started to panic when I saw that the front doors were bolted shut. Then I heard a voice calling me, and I saw the librarian poking her head out at the side door. I ran in as fast I could and covertly checked that she was locking it behind us. I never told a soul about that incident, but now that I think about it, she must have seen him and known what he was up to, because he was shouting after me right in front of the building, and I probably looked scared.

ASeaOfQuotes · 2021-04-19T02:35:19+00:00

I never thought about it, but it’s the same for me. The only time I’ve had a woman ask me something was if they mistook me for an employee somewhere. But I used to get random men asking for help all the time when I was riding public transit. Directions, how to work the ticket machine, for change, etc.

janeaustenfan99 · 2021-04-19T05:14:54+00:00

Homeless men more readily approach women than men

Heather619 · 2021-04-19T05:24:01+00:00

Shit, this made me think... The last time a woman approached me randomly (that I remember) was about 5 years ago.

My last few years of grad school, I'd take late night trips to a particular park to clear my anxiety. The park had a lot more people there than usual because Pokemon Go had just come out. A girl who looked about 18 approached me and asked to use my phone because she got separated from her friends and her phone battery died. Poor thing looked terrified, but relieved when she saw me because I was the only other adult woman in the park 😭

The_Pyramidion · 2021-04-19T11:33:15+00:00

Never, ever slow down when a man approaches you, especially after dark. Say "no, sorry" to whatever bs he's coming up with, bring your hands out of your pockets and DO NOT SLOW YOUR STRIDE OR STOP ALTOGETHER. Walk with purpose. Do not signal hesitancy or insecurity.

Positively-Occult · 2021-04-19T02:11:20+00:00

[deleted]

shellofthemshellf · 2021-04-19T02:43:20+00:00

Yes and so important to remember that there is NEVER a good reason for a man to ask a woman or child for help. Nope. Bye. Find someone else.

ketodietclub · 2021-04-19T08:42:27+00:00

The only thing I've ever had another woman ask me was "have you seen my toddler? He just ran off", and one super old lady who dropped her shopping asked me to pick up her apples.

You're right though, now I come to think if it it's almost always men.

nurulfakasha · 2021-04-19T13:11:17+00:00

Had a woman approach me because it was raining and she saw I didn't have an umbrella, so she offered to walk with me to the train station and share her umbrella. The men, on the other hand.......

pizza_connoissieur · 2021-04-19T03:29:52+00:00

One time, I had taken the subway home from work and I was with my younger sister. A man approached me in a BUSY subway platform to ask for directions. Mind you, said platform has BIG LETTERS AND ARROWS indicating, "westbound" and "eastbound" trains.

I said, "no" and continued to walk away with my sister and the fool turns around and yells that all he wanted was directions and I didn't need to be a bitch.

Dude. There are freaking directions in the subway. And it was the afternoon rush hour. Ask someone else or better yet, READ.

c_a_t_lady · 2021-04-19T05:30:03+00:00

Only times when women have approached me have been:

Two older religious ladies asked if I needed a bag of food. (Their church had a charity, where they gave out free food around Christmas in case that someone was poor and couldn't afford food.) I politely turned it down, because I didn't need it.
At the gym once a woman has politely asked me how much I have left in a machine I was using.
Also at the gym, a lady was going to use a machine and I was walking in the same direction, so she took a step back from the machine and asked if I was going to use it. (Implying that she would've let me use it first.)

In my country approaching random people or catcalling isn't really a part of the culture. 🤔

But I've been approached few times. Like quick "Hello!" And a long stare, someone asked me and my sister if we needed condoms etc.

And once a guy just... Came to chat and after openly checking me out few times, and saying some basic stuff like: "so, where are you going?" (I was waiting for a bus) He pretty much started to tell me about his childhood trauma, bullying and inability to find friends or a girlfriend. This is an alright thing to open up about, and I've heard that I am an easy person to open up to, but I didn't even know his name.

Magnolia_Mirage · 2021-04-19T11:27:40+00:00

You know I've only had one weird interaction with a woman. My friend and I were shopping for groceries and as we were talking she would ask me like what kind of salad I'd buy (I was in that section) then she "ended" up in other of the same aisle as me and commented on my friend saying something to me. She was focused on me and not on him.

I still wonder about what that was about.

With men, if I get a "aggressive vibe" from them I stare back. Probably not the best decision to show more aggression at them but I do.

Also, geez how many will hit on me and tell me their life story. This guy one time ended up telling me he was in prison and internally I'm like, "😰". Anyway, sometimes I feel the best "reaction" is to not react, be aware, and evacuate the area in the best way possible.

chickenlesnugget · 2021-04-19T03:40:43+00:00

I used to work as a sort of greeter at a store so of course I got asked for help by men and women often, one thing I noticed is (contrary to the Karen stereotype) men were way ruder and less understanding than the women. Of course women got attitudes too about things I didn't know or couldn't help with, but it was still easier to keep them calm than men. They also asked me for help with things that weren't store related more often, like directions and things which I usually couldn't help with.

CreativeInitial2 · 2021-04-19T12:56:40+00:00

I literally just had this happen last week. I was outside cutting grass AT WORK and this guy flagged me down to ask if we were hiring. Like bro, this is a city building. HR is right down the road. Ask them if we're hiring.

FabledAngryVillager · 2021-04-19T03:54:46+00:00

Can't say I've ever had a woman harrass me, at least. Not that I can remember. Men have been a mixed bag. Some dudes get so pissed when you give them a look like you're having really painful gas when they approach 😂

havingababypenguin · 2021-04-19T02:33:40+00:00

I haven't slept through the night in 21 months. I had to ask a woman how to get into a hotel pool today. So that's embarrassing, but I quickly apologized and stayed 8+feet away

will_dog2019 · 2021-04-19T06:45:58+00:00

I have had women ask me for directions occasionally when downtown pre-covid because it’s a major city and tourists can get easily overwhelmed. It’s never bothered me because I would rather they feel much safer asking me than some dude. However, I’ve never felt uncomfortable when a strange woman talks to me in public, whereas a lot of guys give off creepy vibes.

hellacliterate · 2021-04-19T13:52:06+00:00

I go walking a lot and this shit happened weekly. Usually for “directions”. I don’t stop for men anymore. They try , trust . And I see other women stop and hope one day they won’t. Maps, internet phones etc theres no excuse to be lost anymore.

SlightlyCapsized · 2021-04-19T10:40:23+00:00

I personally don't ask random people for directions because it implies I'm lost, phoneless and vulnerable, not because I'm trying to be kind to other women's needs.

When I've most gotten asked it's been men driving a car with their families in it, looking legit lost. I usually just Google even if I know where they're heading, I open up maps and turns out the wife already had the gps going or is literally holding a map.

In my experience, women definitely approach me more when taking public transportation or waiting in line, anything requiring being at a place for a while, older women will start a conversation, but they're wise enough to take the hint if I have headphones on. I've never been approached by a guy in this sort of open attempt to talk for the sake of it.

sacchilax · 2021-04-19T15:00:31+00:00

Wow okay, because I get approached by women all the time. All the time to get asked for directions, comments about ny hair, outfit, questions, etc. So while that’s your experience mine is the exact opposite.

smallishtree · 2021-04-19T18:56:52+00:00

For me, it’s always little old ladies (I’m toll) who ask me to reach something high up for them. It’s funny because they never ask the men, which tells me they’ve had some negative experiences with that.

spicyspa · 2021-04-20T00:45:32+00:00

Yep.

The only time a woman will talk to another woman in a public place if she's in line or if they're both looking for stuff nearby on the same shelf.

Women will never just randomly walk up to another woman.

Men on the other hand will make a beeline to the nearest woman. I've actually seen cases where an old guy was turning in the direction of a woman in her 40s then a young woman walked past and he followed her.

freelancepsychic · 2021-04-20T08:00:58+00:00

I was just thinking about this a week or so ago. Very rarely does a woman talk to me. We'll smile in passing, but rarely even say hi. On the other hand, I cannot go anywhere without a man saying something to me. Sometimes they'll wait until they pass by me so I can't respond, or they follow me. Even with headphones they try to spark up a conversation about nothing. Online too. Literally everywhere I go some man needs something, at the very least, my attention.

Last month while PMSing and waiting for my grocery delivery in my apartment lobby, within 20 minutes two men needed my help. Why? They had locked themselves out! Totally separate occasions. The first guy I basically told you're SOL we can't let people inside. Some guy helped him. The other guy I gave hell to by contacting the manager for him, and let him way in the lobby, but I ranted to him about how men are always needing help from women. And how it's not hard to remember to bring your key with you when you leave. It's not hard.

lesslikeumorelikeme · 2021-04-19T05:19:18+00:00

I had never realised that men never ask for help until it was pointed out here one day. I’ve had plenty of offers of help (looking lost, broken down, etc) but they never asked for * help. Such an eye opener and as a tiny, non-threatening looking woman, I would have assumed *that’s why they would have asked for help....not that they would have ulterior motives.

It’s definitely something I’ll remember in the future now and be more cautious about.

ecoecho · 2021-04-19T06:11:05+00:00

Back before covid, I would usually take my lunch at a small public square near my downtown office, one where a lot of professionals, tourists and transient folks hang out, too. The houseless guys would ask me for money and the tourists for directions/help, and maybe they'd bother a couple other women. They'd walk past the many men in suits and beeline it for us on the daily. I'd curtly say no to them before they could even muster up a request. Not to be cruel, but to establish I wasn't to be bothered on my precious lunch break.

And I in no way mean to disparage houseless people by sharing this story, but just to write that these guys were literally asking one of the least-paid people for money just because I was a woman.

overachiever856 · 2021-04-19T06:31:00+00:00

A guy came up to me to ask for the time. He was wearing a watch. The Fuck.

marzipanmoon · 2021-04-19T06:42:25+00:00

I hate when this happens, I feel good grossed out and terrified when this happens. I have to take the bus for transportation and its nasty how they feel entitled to speaking to a young woman. Lately its been really bad with men shouting at me from their cars and offering rides. One even circled around my stop to yell at me again.

It gives me awful heebie jeebies. I'm only 20 and still feel a teen so I still get freaked out. Does anyone have tips on how to feel not as afraid from this?

jellobears · 2021-04-19T09:21:28+00:00

I don't go to the laundromat anymore. I've been asked way too many damn times by men how to do laundry. The instructions are literally on the machine!!

medusaisdone · 2021-04-19T09:29:25+00:00

I was walking my dog this morning in our neighborhood and a guy stopped his car next to me and asked "excuse me, do you know if there are any apartments here to rent?". I said "look online" and walked away. He drove slowly next to me for a few seconds then slowly drove away. Then I saw him stop further down the road, then drove slowly again. Really sus, so I put out an alert on the neighborhood watch. The mothers here are super vigilant, so I know they'll warn everyone.

Sana_Del_Dre · 2021-04-19T18:36:34+00:00

I can luckily say that i have been mostly approached by women and girls asking for directions and it has been always a wholesome encounter. Men on the other hand .. tried to check me out 😒

yayy_mjg · 2021-04-19T22:02:42+00:00

They ONLY go up to women at the gym “can I use this bench?” No but how about the dude clearly texting on his bench

randowordgenerator · 2021-04-19T22:06:47+00:00

Some nasty streetscrote crashed on his ass in a doorway asks me what time is it? It was almost comic.

valkyriegoll · 2021-04-20T20:10:21+00:00

How I shake off these types of guys is I respond with ransom sentences in a different language, if they happen to speak that language, I switch to a different one. 😂

Title	I literally cannot remember the last time a woman approached me in public for anything.
Author	Positively-Occult
Upvotes	1073
Comments	143
Date	April 19, 2021 1:58 AM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/mtqo4q/i_literally_cannot_remember_the_last_time_a_woman/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/i-literally-cannot-remember-the-last-time-a-woman.762618 https://theredarchive.com/post/762618

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