Today in “romanticizing abuse”

arnezuara · 2021-06-30T17:31:10+00:00

This sounds absurdly dysfunctional. She romanticizes her own trauma, his abuse and infidelity.

What the actual fuck.

08__80 · 2021-06-30T17:35:15+00:00

"Once a month, my ex-boyfriend from high school emotionally cheats on his wife with me, and I've allowed myself to believe she's cool with it."

Radicology · 2021-06-30T17:25:34+00:00

Sorry I can’t get past the fact that he’s married and they are still carrying on with this foolishness.

shockingupdate · 2021-06-30T17:22:44+00:00

TL;DR: A very long story-thread wherein the author opines about taking calls from her high school sweetheart, who is now married with kids, every month for decades, to compare life decisions and scream at each other, to much applause and fanfare from lovestruck readers who can’t wait for her movie and book deal. 🥺

radfemmd · 2021-06-30T18:02:59+00:00

I’m starting to believe that there’s a correlation between abusive “relationships” like this and addiction. I don’t know the studies to back it up (if there are any), but this is eerily similar to the addicts that I worked with during my social worker days. Does anyone else see this?

idiosyncraticg1 · 2021-06-30T17:33:35+00:00

That tweet had so many comments saying “you should write a book about this”, “this is poetry”, “amazing”. Wtf? This is romanticizing past relationships. Who has time for this.

DarjeelingGut · 2021-06-30T17:27:08+00:00

the f--- is this

no. just no.

pickmieshaexorcist · 2021-06-30T18:17:27+00:00

Pretentious hogwash. I just about puked.

“Suburbia is rougher” 😫

Girl, you are too old now for this quarter-life-crisis, I-sit-in-Starbucks-to-write-angsty-poetry, faux-deep horseshit. All this is is him putting cheater feelers out because he’s trash, and you’re addicted to dysfunction and dress it up in blood-red lipstick and black lace thinking you’re a walking goddamn song lyric. GROW UP.

pinksamosa · 2021-06-30T18:24:46+00:00

God. When will we stop romanticising abuse.I grew up believing this was how love was supposed to be; hard, full of pain and heart break. Ugh. No. Took me so long to unlearn and I can still find bits of this bullshit lingering in my psyche. The idea of nice normal romance sounds boring to me , because where’s the back and forth and where’s the emotional turmoil! Still fucking unlearning this nonsense. Lol this got me all triggered. Sorry for the rant

excusemeILY · 2021-06-30T17:58:04+00:00

These two need jesus… and a hobby

IndigoTR · 2021-06-30T18:42:25+00:00

I’m flummoxed… this sounds so entirely tedious and unpleasant I’m not seeing the “sweet” part of the bittersweetness they are all talking about. Adults who need “angst” to feel alive are stunted, but she basically admitted that.

Lavender_flow · 2021-06-30T19:05:26+00:00

What in the fresh hell did I just fucking read. If this is real, Holy fucking yikes.

To all the people commenting on this and romanticizing it: Go to fucking therapy. Fucking getting second-hand embarrassment from reading grown adults behaving like teenagers over this. I guess I know why Twilight/50 Shades got so popular. A shit ton of teen angst, zero fucking quality. If you like reading this kind of garbage, you are still stuck in a teenager mindset, which is just straight up embarrassing as an adult. No wonder society is going to shit in a handbasket, when these are the kind of people to move it forward, getting to vote and that needs to make changes. Jesus.

catlady4u · 2021-06-30T17:45:44+00:00

I am wondering why he was not blocked.

BlueSkiesOverLondon · 2021-06-30T17:23:41+00:00

Funny how she starts out saying they took bad days out “on each other” but all her examples are HIM treating HER horribly, and he admits he thinks she will end up with another abuser like him...remind me why any of this is supposed to be aspirational? WTAF

pozzalovah · 2021-06-30T18:49:31+00:00

I bet you that she is the only one romantisizing this whole bs.

marlenemermaid · 2021-06-30T17:55:16+00:00

This is terrible. I prefer to chill with my girl friends and drink a nice drink instead of waste my precious time on some cheating loser. The f*cl, her „relationship”sounds miserable.

shelballama · 2021-06-30T18:34:59+00:00

Ew what is this sad garbage

Was she trying to make that seem cute? He has kids and is presumably married? Wtf

FodderFigureIllushun · 2021-06-30T19:57:14+00:00

This sounds AWFUL. Imagine being with the same boyfriend you had at 16 when you were ignorant of the world and he was the most impressive person you've ever met. WHAT EW NO TY

hanjaporfavor · 2021-06-30T20:06:29+00:00

Oh my GOD bitches like these drive me crazy 🤣🤣🤣 He SlIpS My HaNd iNtO HiS the fact that she's aware that this behaviour is concerning and flings this concern away as if it's an annoying mosquito is mental. Actively knowing you're destroying your life and peace and being idiotic enough to romanticize it has to be classified as some type of masochism smh.

aplaceformythoughtss · 2021-06-30T17:43:27+00:00

When will pick me women stop making themselves emotionally available to their exes 🙄 I wonder if she values and holds her ex to the same high standards as her friends.. probably not!

modernmedusaa · 2021-06-30T18:20:02+00:00

More like pick me enjoys getting attention from her married ex and romanticising abuse.

How is this a flex, god I just already know she’s a liberal feminist. She probably already made this into a poem and posted it on Instagram for clout.

NoGutsNoGlory2 · 2021-06-30T18:11:56+00:00

A big nope for me. I’m not wasting my time and energy on someone that I threw away in my past trash can.

CynicalSucculent · 2021-06-30T19:36:31+00:00

He's married with kids and he's still calling his ex once a month.

Theboredshrimp · 2021-06-30T19:17:48+00:00

This is so cringy

GreatOrchidAmbition · 2021-06-30T20:24:23+00:00

I need to say, and I literally cannot stress this enough, this is the most CRINGELORD thing I think I've seen on the internet in months. What the hail was that?

queenagave · 2021-06-30T19:25:20+00:00

Ohhh man, I was super confused at first reading this. I didn't realize she was romanticizing it. I thought she was expressing a horrible cycle of abuse. Making a poem about how this isn't healthy.

queenofswordsxxx · 2021-06-30T19:32:55+00:00

What in the ‘i actively involve in drama to make my low value self feel better’ crap is this

Equal-Ear2312 · 2021-06-30T21:12:12+00:00

So hurting each other is... Romantic?

Wtf is this?

Also, the idiots calling this codependent abuse "wholesome"... 🤦‍♀️

This woman needs to let him go and get in therapy.

Gambit12345 · 2021-06-30T19:35:43+00:00

There is nothing charming about that entire thread

rosegoldmacaron · 2021-06-30T18:24:36+00:00

Dazzling_Grass1727 · 2021-06-30T20:08:09+00:00

Yes, because breaking hearts is so fun.

lskfjd743 · 2021-06-30T21:06:58+00:00

Wwwwwwhyyyyyyyyyyy is she even giving attention to a man she knew in high school, and (treated her like shit to boot?)

Maingurl · 2021-06-30T21:51:55+00:00

Who has time for ALL that!?

Newwavesupport3657 · 2021-06-30T22:05:34+00:00

Why doesn't she block him? And why does she refer to her ex as her bf? Sounds like some serious unmet feelings and dysfunction; time for therapy....

restlessGal · 2021-06-30T23:54:01+00:00

What the fuck is this Wattpad gibberish

december14th2015 · 2021-07-01T02:35:52+00:00

Wtf did I just read?? Honey you're STUNTED, and he's absolutely par forthe course when it comes to lost men who married too young. This is not "poetry," this is sad and gross.
Like really, does this seem appealing to ANYONE? Other than 16 year olds going through their first ever breakup, I guess. 🤮

Emergency-Feed8216 · 2021-07-01T07:08:51+00:00

He's tucking his kids in, so... he's still married?

If so, I think I understand the tendency to hyper-romanticize and rhapsodize with violins over the awful situationship. Because if it's not really and truly "twu wuv," then she's just a poacher and proxy ab.user of other women and children, and he's a creepy, ab.usive, mindfucking cheater, shitty dad and manwhore. So slap that twu wuv whitewash on the dogshit affair and hope it seals in the smell.

She needs therapy and an STD panel. He needs to lose custody and the major share of assets to his poor bat.tered spouse.

CroneRaisedMaiden · 2021-06-30T23:32:24+00:00

None of that is wholesome at all, the entire thing is disgusting. They’re both awful wow

janeaustenfan99 · 2021-07-01T00:24:04+00:00

I couldn’t even get past the first few tweets. This is why a new technology called blocking exists.

ennu_i_sao · 2021-07-01T16:56:21+00:00

I really want this to be a story by some 15 year old who romanticizes the 90’s.(But going through her twitter it seems like it was really really real— GIRL IF YOU “DODGED A BULLET” WHY DO YOU KEEP TRYING TO CATCH IT)

High school drama felt really intense in the moment but when I look back on it there was nothing real or significant about it. I learned and I grew and I wouldn’t seek out those people who mistreated me. She really sounds like she never grew out of that teenager mindset of “well, I’m bored might as well think about boys I shouldn’t”

How can she say she loves his wife and family (in other tweets) but still carries on with him like this?

Tanalize · 2021-06-30T21:28:28+00:00

Why don't women want to be happy? In a healthy relationship? Instead of being extremely melancholy like a 14 year old girl who just watched anime for the first time.

Resident-Equipment95 · 2021-06-30T20:44:56+00:00

This made me laugh. How ridiculous 😂

Fun_Tangerine4494 · 2021-06-30T22:39:05+00:00

Yuck

exhalefierceness · 2021-06-30T23:48:33+00:00

What the hell did I just read

lolmemberberries · 2021-07-01T00:57:44+00:00

Well, this was some supremely fucked up shit from two people with huge boundary issues.

Elegant-Emergency-60 · 2021-07-01T01:31:47+00:00

God, this girl is ‘on the hook’ in a BIG way. Lose his number, he clearly doesn’t value her even as a person let alone a ‘friend’.

I dare a man to do this shit to me now because that’s how we have a final conversation where I rip ‘em to sheds for 30 minutes. This man is traaaash.

Jaelismyhomegirl · 2021-07-01T05:35:42+00:00

Nah, sis. I’d have gotten as far as “ex bf called”, and that’s it. Cause why tf would i pick up the phone?

Optimal_Grapefruit_5 · 2021-06-30T21:36:17+00:00

Why are people calling this wholesome? Disgusting.

VanessaViews · 2021-07-01T02:43:27+00:00

Lol my high school boyfriend and I talk like twice a year and that's to wish each other happy birthday because our birthdays are a day apart. Like wtf is she doing. I'm so confused

katiekat0214 · 2021-07-01T13:53:50+00:00

So why hasn't she already blocked him? Oh right, attention...

detikripur · 2021-07-01T16:14:59+00:00

Mah. I think about my first boyfriend once in a while and only because we are FB friends and we have many friends in common. He was a little a$$hole but I said what I had to say and went on with my life and he also. I have no need for him to call me to talk about the past and ask for forgiveness or whatever that word salad was. I have bigger fish to fry now in my 40.

sassyheather · 2021-07-01T19:42:16+00:00

Wtf is this word salad? English may not be my first language but this was too difficult to grasp.

Novemberinthechair · 2021-07-01T12:28:24+00:00

Huh?

esthermaniii · 2021-07-03T20:50:35+00:00

What in the codependency?!!

Title	Today in “romanticizing abuse”
Author	shockingupdate
Upvotes	950
Comments	151
Date	June 30, 2021 5:19 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/ob1x2t/today_in_romanticizing_abuse/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/today-in-romanticizing-abuse.788122 https://theredarchive.com/post/788122

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