Are men more romantic?

Cjaylyle · 2023-10-26T12:21:51+00:00

Men are more romantic for individual women. They will day dream about a specific woman and often go to almost insane levels to try and deliver a woman a romantic experience.

Women day dream about themselves at the centre of a romantic experience, the guy is often just a faceless chad in their fantasies

AMDisappointment · 2023-10-26T10:42:45+00:00

Yes. Women complain about the lack of romance while not providing any if at all.

Suitable_Ad7540 · 2023-10-26T13:43:32+00:00

Look at the weekly post of women asking what the female equivalent of gifting flowers is and you’ll realize women are so often the consumers of romance that they don’t even know what constitutes female romantic gestures.

NataliaCaptions · 2023-10-26T11:17:16+00:00

Men love romantically but pretend to be opportunistic

Women love opportunistically but pretend to be romantics.

It's redpill 101.
Ofc not all women, not all men but for the vast majority? Yes.

ZeeMark17 · 2023-10-26T07:04:02+00:00

Men are providers of romance and women are consumers of romance.

Women consume romance, whether it's through experiencing romance herself from her partner, or watching people close to her enjoy romance, or watching romantic movies or reading romantic novels. Women consume romance. (obviously some of these examples also include women providing romance to women i.e. through novels and other media, but even in these novels written by women, a man in the story is providing the romance to the fictional woman)

macone235 · 2023-10-26T06:50:39+00:00

It's not even a competition. Women are not romantic at all. I can't think of one thing that women traditionally do for men that would be considered romantic other than stay a virgin, which they pretty much never do anymore.

Nellylocheadbean · 2023-10-26T12:38:51+00:00

I was thinking about this because most great love songs are written by men. Usually the the love song is about how they will woo their girl or do whatever to make sure she’s happy. Men even write great love songs from a woman’s perspective (when a woman sings the song).

Different-Virus-7474 · 2023-10-26T18:29:08+00:00

Romance was invented by men to take women from the Chad's and Tyrone's of the world.

Hatefuleight-36 · 2023-10-26T07:46:25+00:00

The majority of women lack a single romantic bone in their fucking body it’s so bad. The same chicks that seem obsessed with this concept of romantic love are incredibly lost when it comes to any instance of displaying it themselves and if you point it out to most of them they always have some silly excuse or will just straight up admit to being lazy as all hell. Most women’s idea of a romantic gesture for the man they are apparently head over heels for us to buy some shitty lingerie on Valentine’s Day and fuck him with actual enthusiasm and a focus on his pleasure, which if you were in a relationship were both of you actually had anywhere near equal desire for each other should be the case whenever you have sex anyway. It’s fucking astonishing how bad women are at this, every gesture of romantic love that men do is just defaulted to sex whenever women are tasked with that same responsibility? A grand apology after fucking up with your lover? The kind of stuff men pull out the big glamorous rom com bullshit for? Nah, let’s just blow him and not even address what we did wrong in the first place. Birthday presents and special events picked out specifically with your girl’s favorite thing in mind? Be ready to get a power tool and have her awkwardly ride you that evening once it’s your special day. Anniversaries are literally all about her, as are weddings, she does fucking nothing until the evening comes when all she’s expected to do is look somewhat fuckable and maybe let you creampie her this time.

And yeah I know I’m gonna get women replying to this saying they don’t do this and blah blah blah but I’m talking about how the VAST MAJORITY of women experience “romance” and it’s fucking abysmal. Men, if you learn anything in your time dealing with women, it should be to have higher standards for the person you want to spend the rest of your life with than just her fucking you, because I would feel straight up scammed for me to put so much effort into a partner I love only for my ultimate reward to be sex that I will inevitably put a lot of my own effort into in order to please her as well.

_Ad_Astra_Abyssosque · 2023-10-26T15:41:23+00:00

Women will call you sassy for wanting to be romanced.

OtPayOkerSmay · 2023-10-26T15:06:38+00:00

Yes, and that is part of the issue in the gender war. We are living in a post-romantic society. Average men would suffer less if they embraced, like women have, the fact that the opposite sex should no longer be looked at as a necessity.

SeveralLiterature980 · 2023-10-26T06:40:58+00:00

First of all, you're referencing MOVIES. And MOVIES AIMED AT A FEMALE AUDIENCE to inform your "science" speech. Go straight to jail, do not pass Go, do not collect $200.

AngeCruelle · 2023-10-26T10:50:59+00:00

Most of the romantic movies, anime are made by men.

You must mean the "romantic movies and anime I care about." The entire shojo genre would like a word with you.

Men give gifts more often.

This is said all the time on here and yet I see zero evidence of it in real life. Ime women spend a ton of time and money on their BF's gifts, especially since the increasingly mainstream nerd hobbies are so damn expensive and the more cost effective homemade gifts aren't something you can slap together in a few hours.

Also many men will choose a cute , inocent McDonald Worker rather than a lawyer women

Considering the fact that McDonald's hires employees as young as 14 this is kind of concerning.

Toxic_LigmaMale · 2023-10-26T07:08:23+00:00

Yes. Generally, anyway. Men will get stuck head over heels for a girl for literal years at a time. Usually more than once. Only after having our hearts ripped out and sufficiently crushed, do we mature, go through that villain arc, and hopefully even out at the end. But we’re never the same as we were.

I do wish all the luck to my dudes that haven’t gone through that, and that your first good relationship is the last you’ll ever need.

begayallday · 2023-10-26T17:03:57+00:00

My question is: do men do these things because they want to do them, and because they enjoy making romantic gestures? Or because they feel that it’s expected of them to do so? Because I have to tell you that from the way many of the men on this sub talk about it, it seems like an absolute chore that they resent.

That’s sad to me. I don’t really care about being on the receiving end of romantic gestures, but my wife lives for it. Anything from buying her a scented candle or a soda or a bunch of flowers while I’m grocery shopping, to giving her a hug when she’s not expecting it, makes her feel loved and appreciated. If you love your partner, why wouldn’t you want them to feel loved and appreciated? Why wouldn’t you want to expend effort to make that happen? I get just as much enjoyment out of seeing my wife happy as she gets out of the romantic gestures I make for her.

januaryphilosopher · 2023-10-26T09:23:01+00:00

Some of your claims are just plain false or misleading. Men direct a lot more films in general because of more opportunities, but women are much more likely to consume any form of romantic media, and even more likely to produce some kinds, such as books, than men. The things women do for men are so ubiquitous we don't even call them gifts (surely someone making a meal for you is a gift, for example). Women are more likely to think men are too distant than the other way around. Women tend to focus on romance a lot more and it's everywhere in female spaces. Women make more sacrifices for men, I'm not sure what you think there is about sacrificing in men's "biology" but one of the biggest sacrifices you can make for a partner (giving birth) is actually biologically closed off to them. Women sacrifice their independence, careers, dreams, identities, even names for men in a way men usually don't. Men are likely to leave their partners when they stop providing, for example get sick, and are also more likely to cheat when they've checked out of the relationship rather than break up. Male lawyers aren't picking McDonald's workers en masse - they prefer female lawyers. Who's more romantic?

doggiedoc2004 · 2023-10-26T19:27:55+00:00

This behavioral observation is rooted in nature and also socially conditioned/reinforced. Look at most mammalian and avian species. Male attention and sperm is cheap. Sex and reproduction for females is biologically “expensive” and risky. Females of many species vet males often by their investment in providing resources and/or by perceived genetic value. So yes, of course, we are not, as a whole, interested in wooing men. Especially men we are just getting to know. Many women who are in LTRs provide romance to their partners through many avenues from planning birthdays, baking treats, taking care of them when ill, sending romantic messages, remembering important milestones/anniversaries etc

Stacie_Sophia199 · 2023-10-26T07:43:47+00:00

It's a hard question. First define romance? Is it a candlelit dinner? Breakfast in bed? A picknick in a park with wine and watching the stars afterwards? A hot bath surrounded by candles and soft music? Or is it morning sex followed by coffee? A quickie when you get home after work?

I think women love romance in general and that might be why men provide romance? Maybe romance should be seen as some sort of foreplay and thats why men provide romance? Do men like romance themselves as well or is it to show how much they care about the woman?

For me personally I love romance. Either to receive it or provide it.

RRBeachFG2 · 2023-10-26T13:22:54+00:00

Women confuse fantasizing about things as being romantic, which is the difference between saying and doing basically

WhatyouDontwantoHear · 2023-10-26T14:19:24+00:00

You watch too many movies.

Acaciduh · 2023-10-26T12:06:28+00:00

I think romance for men just looks different from romance for women. Do most men want flowers, poems, a bed strewn with roses and the other stereotypical “romantic” gestures - in my experience no. Tbh as a women I’m not all that into those either. Romance in its essence is to woo. If you’ve ever had a woman really like you and love you she will go hard at romancing you. And those are just early courtship days. To me real love in a long lasting marriage it’s reciprocal romance and is tailored to that relationship. My husband doesn’t want flowers but when I hunted down an original signed baseball by his favorite player and gave it to him out of the blue he thought that was romantic af. Romance is seen as stereotypically feminine which is why media portrays it most of the time as something done for women but men love being romanced as well it just is done in a different way.

mumblebumblegrumble · 2023-10-26T17:18:31+00:00

Men only do romantic stuff to bait the woman in and get her locked down. Once they feel comfortable they have her, they stop.

wtknight · 2023-10-26T14:54:58+00:00

Just the desire to want to give romance more does not make someone “more romantic”. Wanting to receive romance can maybe someone romantic too.

sweetbrown89 · 2023-10-26T19:57:36+00:00

Men are more prone to grand gestures and take romance to be a performative concept

Women are more prone to stable gestures (like taking care of their partner) and take romance to be a dedicated concept

It’s not that men are more romantic, they just do it it big grandiose bursts that get a lot more attention than women literally walking the walk of a relationship

_here_ok · 2023-10-26T14:08:06+00:00

I think it's mostly that men have more wiggle room when it comes to sacrifice. Due to how little society cares about our lives, sacrifices are one of the few ways we can gain validation and glory.

Women however aren't treated that way and if they try to sacrifice anything it's treated like a tragedy or undermining her worth. This can lead to women being scorned by the many if she sacrifices anything. Say a woman tries to sacrifice home for work or work for home, either way people are going to be against her on either decision. Her decision to sacrifice one thing for another isn't treated with respect.

NeonCityNights · 2023-10-26T16:28:44+00:00

yes, I think this is the case.

Women are ultimately utilitarian when they select a man, as opposed to romantic. They might appreciate romantic gestures, but only because they can help confirm the man's desire or commitment to her. Romantic gestures can reduce any doubt or uncertainty a woman may have about a man's interest.

In other words, a woman selects a man based on utilitarianism, and then welcomes romantic gestures from those chosen men to alleviate doubts she may have about him.

wecovetwhatwesee · 2023-10-26T20:20:09+00:00

No. Men act romantic because it is required of him to "get the prize".

How "romantic" a man is cannot be estimated while he is pursuing her.

How romantic he REALLY is we will see after they move in together and he's comfortable enough to fart in the same room. If women didn't require the dating / courting process, most men probably wouldn't even do that.

And as The Great Prophet DAVE CHAPPELLE said, if women didn't want to live in nice houses, men would have sex in a cardboard box.

SmallSituation6432 · 2023-10-26T11:33:09+00:00

This is more detached from any idea of how the world is or should be than most posts on here. So what if its true? It only amounts to a "well that's interesting" thought, nothing more.

Romance as a concept exists specifically for men to woe women. It stems mostly from romance tales concerned with chivalry. Arguing that women are or even can be more romantic is almost self defeating.

Even if we assume a modern idea of romance its almost so divorced from any context as to require a new word. Its just "doing things for the other person, with or without self interest being involved" That is just a description of all relationships.

GYN-k4H-Q3z-75B · 2023-10-26T17:40:55+00:00

Most women have no idea how to be romantic. They expect romantic gestures all the time and will complain about how men suck at it, but they themselves do absolutely nothing.

BaiKingu · 2023-10-26T19:56:45+00:00

Weeeew chile ok we got a lot of very male very never been in real relationships perspectives here.

Women are far more romantic than men on average. All I see is “no women are just receivers of romance” only in the initial stages of a relationship and in the very superficial ways nigh everyone posting here understands romance as “flower giving”

When a woman is in love with you, acts & words of love, true love, are much more likely to come from her. Women will give their very soul & being to you if they’re really in love with you. They will say no one compares to you, they can’t think of no one else, they will talk about you to others as if you are their god king until everyone gets sick of hearing it.

They will think & breathe you every single day. If you are truly loved by a woman, you will notice. If you haven’t yet then you have no frame of reference.

Not to say men are not capable of these traits, but it is far more typical of women. It is obvious by the type of art women consume & revere.

Also most men sorry to say don’t really care for flowers. I know that what I’m describing is too cryptic For many of the autismos reading it. Most men would prefer a woman take an entire day getting ready for them and putting on sexy lingerie than they would getting some flowers, and women know this.

Women are far more romantic.

Pola_Lita · 2023-10-26T12:00:31+00:00

Most of the romantic movies, anime are made by men. Men give gifts more often .

Anime women are a good example of sexual objectification and fantasy.

They are more clingy often than not, but girls are disgusted by boys like that.

I don't agree that men are more clingy but I do agree that women aren't usually impressed. Not many women want to be mothers to their men. Why would this be considered romantic?

Milions of forums full of men talking about how much thry will want a gf.

And...?

They give gifts more often.

I disagree. This may be true when a traditionally-minded man is dating a woman, but otherwise I don't think it's true.

The nature , biology make men also more able to sacrifice for their gf.

Are you talking about being stronger? It can be used to sacrifice for a woman but if you're limiting it to nature and biology, there's not much that trumps childbirth.

Man will love a women even if she doesn t have nothing because they don t want to gain money and status from her, many women leave the men if he lose the job or all the money.

Haha. Lies. No man loves a woman he doesn't expect to gain sexual gratification from and that certainly isn't "nothing". They're not interested in status or money because the chances are overwhelming they have more than she ever will. Women will leave a man who loses his job due to his own behavior and he generally needs to do it more than once. Women are well known for giving way too many chances when men have no intention of changing.

Also many men will choose a cute , inocent McDonald Worker rather than a lawyer women

All the better to objectify, control and dominate.

cute , inocent McDonald Worker...

Why does this make me envision an anime character?

Clementinequeen95 · 2023-10-26T13:27:48+00:00

I’ve actually never met a romantic man. But I have met romantic women

Saucy_Moist · 2023-10-27T03:34:37+00:00

I don't think there is such thing is unconditional love, with the exception maybe what a parent has for their child and vice versa. I think almost always love outside a family is conditional. I think there are less conditions for women to be loved by men. I think the upside to this for men is there is more you can do to be loved but that's a double-edged sword because when that is gone less conditions are met.

gothiccbitch · 2023-10-26T17:43:28+00:00

You’re asking a bunch of bitter single dudes what constitutes as romance and of course they can only imagine the things they’d do for their imaginary gf, but not anything the other way around. They already have written all women off as self centered, They have 0 actual experience in romance. I also heavily doubt that most modern romance novels/movies are written by men as the genre has had a huge resurgence in the past decade by women writers.

In my actual relationship cook meals that my bf likes for him, especially for our picnic dates, which I arrange in a basket with blankets and activities to do at the park. We hold hands everywhere, which he likes more than me. I got him a promise ring after he got me one. We surprise each other with random gifts all the time. When I’m over his place I’ll tidy up his room for when he gets home. I watch things I’m not interested in with him because he enjoys it. I play video games with him, especially 2 player ones. I threw him a surprise party when he graduated with balloons and cake, etc. Romantic pet names we use with each other daily. The list could go on.

You guys have seriously been with some shitty gfs or maybe you weren’t providing enough to be deserving of gestures. Often times if a woman has to take care of all the basic house necessities and is expected to have lackluster sex, she won’t feel inclined to be romantic as she is already stretched too thin. But maybe y’all focus so much on shallow traits you never end up with someone you actually enjoy to be around and like which turns into love. It’s easy to do romantic things with my partner cuz he’s like my best friend.

Ok_Smile_60 · 2023-10-26T13:27:51+00:00

I guess so, makes in general do the ‘mating dance’ which isn’t that basically romance? Women are more the receiving of romance

Blue_Robin_04 · 2023-10-26T13:32:36+00:00

I think it's too hard to say conclusively. Women have feelings of love that are just as strong as men. I agree with the women in this thread that when a woman decides to get married and have kids with you, it is a very big commitment, so big that it is almost always an act of love towards the man. But the whole acts of service thing is definitely more male. Whenever a girl goes out of her way to treat her man with something like that, it usually gets turned into an Internet meme because it never happens, but most men love it. I think there is a higher percentage of men that are not interested in providing "romance" than women who do not care very much about receiving it.

OldStorageUnit · 2023-10-26T22:03:15+00:00

It’s interesting to see how many commenters here are rejecting the notion that women can be romantic. From my experiences of dating as a woman, I’ve pulled some pretty romantic things on the guys in my life.

When I was 16 I would regularly bike mostly uphill for half an hour at all hours of the night and during terrible weather to see my boyfriend when he was feeling down.
I would buy food for my partner and bring it to work for him.
I would spend good money on concert tickets and games and whatnot as random gifts.
I’ve cooked for my partners family, in his home, to establish some baseline level of trust despite the fact I despise cooking.

List goes on. Romance isn’t always a giant gesture. It’s the small things you do to show that you care.

Pathosgrim · 2023-10-26T13:42:44+00:00

Men are the only ones that are romantic. Women just have to show up and accept.

Happy_Ben90 · 2023-10-26T16:24:21+00:00

Men have to set up dates. They need to be creative. They have to create the environment and setting which can lead to romance. They are the ones who need to create the romantic tingles within women.

Women just need to show up if they feel like it and just adapt a wait and see approach.

Environmental_Lie561 · 2023-10-26T19:24:14+00:00

I attracted to a man’s heart. If he’s romantic, I will fall in love with him and want to make him happy. The only men I have ever been adoring towards were those kind of men. They’re essentially a lover and a fighter.

modidlee · 2023-10-26T15:55:16+00:00

Yes. I think men genuinely like to do things to make the woman they care about smile. Women don’t really do that. I think men are so focused on sex it makes women think having sex with him is the greatest thing they can do for him. The whole concept of the friendzone is a thing because men think if they’re just a little more romantic it’ll show the woman he’s the man for her. The average woman, if she gets rejected by a man she wants, isn’t going to think being nice and “romantic” towards him will change his mind. And even if she did, all of her female friends will rise up in a chorus telling her how stupid she is to do what she’s doing.

Ok_Smile_60 · 2023-10-26T16:35:16+00:00

I will say, I married cute barista over the many fellow lawyers I work with, so that’s totally true

Amiskon2 · 2023-10-26T18:19:16+00:00

Men are romantic to women they find worth it.

If they marry a single mom, for example, they are not very romantic because what is the point? They are dating women at discount.

Suspicious-Bed-2717 · 2023-10-26T18:43:02+00:00

Men will have a woman smile to them and imagine what life they could have together from marriage to death at that moment. I'm guilty of this. Who else is? Women aren't romantic to the degree men are.

noise__floor · 2023-10-26T20:28:50+00:00

Of course. Women are not romantic - they only look for what you can give and the second you stop giving, they stop pretending to love you

Spyro7x3 · 2023-10-26T09:29:11+00:00

I think saving herself/chasity and being a good housewife/helpmeet is probably the female version of romance. Otherwise no women aren't romantic in any sense.

And this actually brings up a good point. I think men are romance starved as well as sex and relationship starved in todays world. There are practically no women who keep a low body count and become ride or dies.

Homecraft/devotion is the pinnacle of female romance. Men on the otherhand are still romantic today often attempt to commit and provide as well as gift and acknowledge with attention and devotion although less in the past because basically its a one way street now.

Where both sexes intersect at romance is basically rememberances such as birthdays, anniversaries, favorite foods/drinks, favorite colors and tastes

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romantic-knight · 2023-10-26T15:47:47+00:00

It really depends on the men, for example I would say I am more romantic than most of the women here.

colonize_mars2023 · 2023-10-26T16:12:43+00:00

I think this age definitely proved that while women are more relationships-oriented in general, men are way more romance-oriented then women will ever be.

Lornewolfe666 · 2023-10-26T20:00:20+00:00

“Anime are made by men”

Sonic_Medley · 2023-10-26T20:57:15+00:00

Until they learn better

Sabrepill · 2023-10-27T04:12:53+00:00

Men are romantics who pretend to be pragmatic. Women are pragmatic and pretend to be romantic.

ipupaya · 2023-10-27T14:32:51+00:00

i cant wait to go on a date one day. or have someone do romantic things bc they like me so much

Rebexl5150 · 2023-10-27T19:29:18+00:00

Yes way more.

BathroomExisting2511 · 2023-10-27T21:26:38+00:00

I agree that men give gifts more often, but how often are they truly thoughtful gifts, something their partner actually loves and wants, and not just basic "Here's a shiny object" mating ritual like magpies do? Men absolutely give superficial courtship gifts more often, but is that really romantic?

PIPting2024 · 2023-10-28T11:04:51+00:00

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Rare-Emu-119 · 2023-10-30T02:51:22+00:00

I’ve been abroad for the last few months. I think I’m the United States… the answer is yes.

I think outside of the United States, women are just as romantic as men are.

SteveSan82 · 2023-10-30T04:17:09+00:00

Men are more romantic. Women are actually disgusted by romantic things. I learned the hard way to not buy flowers, to not buy things on valentines day. To not say I love you, surprises.

Title	Are men more romantic?
Author	DismalScarcity1167
Upvotes	79
Comments	339
Date	October 26, 2023 5:47 AM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/17gpkvl/are_men_more_romantic/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/are-men-more-romantic.1236380 https://theredarchive.com/post/1236380

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