Why is virgin used as an insult if sex and relationships are supposedly not important?

pie-mart · 2026-01-10T18:55:58+00:00

Cuz people are still stupid. As a feminist woman it irks me when people, especially women, use insults like virgin or "must never have touched a woman"

Its one thing to imply in earnest that maybe someone doesn't spend time with the opposite sex thus are just ignorant of something. But it shouldn't be used to shame someone.

And I think as women, if we want men to be less obsessed with sex and the status element of it and not feel shamed into being more aggressive or violent or manipulative to get a relationship or sex, then we need to do our part in not making it seem shameful to not have sex or a partner as a man

And I KNOW emotionally we wanna go "but they have been saying we are going to die alone with our cats for eons" which is TRUE, but not a good enough reason to insult men about virginity or less experience in dating.

People need to stop shaming men and women for choosing not to, or having trouble with, dating and sex or general socialization

Secret_Entry1840 · 2026-01-10T19:00:09+00:00

People insult people. They find something that hurts. Virgin, fat, short, ugly, broke, smelly, etc.

I like sex. I enjoyed devirginizing men back in my sluttier days.

Some people are just assholes.

Lost_Reaction_5489 · 2026-01-10T18:24:55+00:00

Everything can be used as an insult.

Obsessivethot · 2026-01-10T18:17:27+00:00

Because it’s insulting to you. It’s an effective attack even if they don’t believe it themselves.

AngeAware · 2026-01-10T18:14:12+00:00

Different people have different values.

I'm a 27yo virgin. Some people think that's a good thing. Others think it's weird. There simply isn't a societal consensus on this sort of thing in a country where people live in different cultural bubbles.

ThatBitchA · 2026-01-10T20:35:31+00:00

An insult is meant to sting.

If you're insecure about being a virgin, someone will just virgin to insult.

Same reason that men use "ugly", "fat", "cat lady". Problem is, most women aren't insecure about being ugly, fat, or having cats.

Trouvette · 2026-01-11T06:41:15+00:00

For the same reason women say small dick energy and the same reason men call women fat: it works. It doesn’t matter if these insults have any basis in reality. As a people, we simply know what insecurities each gender has and they are exploited accordingly.

Downtown_Cat_1745 · 2026-01-10T17:54:48+00:00

Who said sex and relationships are not important?

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cezzy15 · 2026-01-11T04:22:22+00:00

People will use it as an insult to hurt others, getting someone where it stings can be satisfying.

Relationships and sex absolutely do matter, it’s just some people seem to think they can’t possibly function without it.

alphamaker420 · 2026-01-11T14:03:16+00:00

Because they think or know it's hurtful and it's low hanging fruit because of gendered socialization. People insult someone to press their buttons and dudes have made it known that being a virgin is a huge insecurity that's beaten into men from youth. Same reason why men call women fat or ugly or a slut, because it's a common insecurity beaten into women from youth.

If you're going to insult someone why go for something they may be confident in? Then it'll just roll off their back. Like you wouldn't insult a jacked dude by saying "you look swollen", that's what they're going for. You'd tell him he's small because that's where it hurts. Insults are meant to be mean and hurt. I think it's unfair to insult someone for no reason and stupid to do period but it's fair game if they're insulted first.

Keep_calm_or_else · 2026-01-10T18:10:05+00:00

I seldom see women using that as an insult. Usually it's guys teasing each other calling each other "virgin", "gay", etc. You should ask them.

Potential-Item5629 · 2026-01-11T06:18:12+00:00

”Virgin”/”incel” is sometimes used as shorthand for ”not bringing anything to the table”. When used as an insult it really has little to do with your actual sexual history.

Women generally like men that contribute in ways that elevate her social status. It can be by being wealthy enough to by her status goods such as expensive clothing or vacations. It could also be that a man is beautiful and eye-candy on her arm. Or being someone who takes an interest in performing well in the areas women are usually being judged for; such as keeping your living space impeccable clean and well-decorated or excelling in cooking. Really being helpful to her in any way, be it as a pt, a barista, her personal florist.

A guy who spends most of his time polishing his figurine collection will be called ”a virgin loser” not because she is irked by his sexual history, but for the fact that he spends all of his resources (time, money, attention) on something completely useless to her.

Sex and relationship experience isn’t everything, they don’t define your worth and you really shouldn’t obsess over them.

A man that brings something valuable to the table will not be called ”virgin” or ”incel” as an insult no matter how little experience he has.

EmpressJJ · 2026-01-12T08:23:09+00:00

Sorry what is this thread? "Virgin" and "slut" is something men have used for centuries to describe women, in very aggressive and judging ways. Women are only worth when they are virgin, worth nothing when sluts. The internet has existed for 34 years, but only has been used mainstread for like what, 20? If you would want the word virgin and anything related to sex, not to be an insult or judgement, perhaps men should not have literally constructed someone's worth on their virginity/if they had sex, thousands of years ago. Literally still now, there are countries where women could get executed if it was revealed that they are not virgin before a forced marriage takes place. Women have adapted over the very short years they have started to get rights and imo one of the big things that happened is, that women have reclaimed words and insults and have started using them as "payback". Imo, it is a bit childish and not really productive to do so, but tbh men have not STOPPED using insults like slut or have started caring less about women's body counts either. It does not surprise me at all, that women have started to insult men back and since there is no equivalent to slut for a man (feel free to create one or name one), they "retaliate" in different words. If women created an insult for men, it is likely not going to have any impact, perhaps even laughed at, but if men give a word meaning by themselves or/and have used it for a long time, it is more impactful to use as we see

mashedturnip · 2026-01-10T20:04:28+00:00

It’s very important to men, despite people’s advice.

Can’t make someone believe something if they really don’t want to

waffleznstuff30 · 2026-01-10T18:48:41+00:00

I don't think it's "virgin".

It's the out of touch takes that usually means that man hasn't interacted with the opposite sex or his behavior is off-putting to women. That their frame of reference on women. Is rage bait online, porn, and anecdotal evidence from forums.

A guy could not have had sex and be pleasant to be around. And it wouldn't even be a point of conversation or something to be poked at. Maybe he just hasn't found the right one. Maybe he's not focused on dating. Maybe he hasn't had good luck.

A guy who is bloviating online about how women only go for the top 20% of men. And 80% of average guys don't stand a chance. And women's standards are so unreasonably high no one could ever meet them. AF/BB.... And other chronically online takes. Usually virgin.

Poppy_Luvv · 2026-01-10T20:58:18+00:00

I constantly see those same people use virgin and some other things as a go to insult the moment a man does something they dislike or likes something they dislike.

Do you really see the same people do that? Say it's okay to be a virgin and then use it as a synonym for loser? I'm gonna bet you really don't see that often.

People who say bring a virgin is NBD are a minority pushing back against the dominate idea virgins are losers.

Even when a man states a dating preference (sometimes) in a non-offensive way, the immediate retort is often an attack on his sexual history.

I don't think bring a virgin is moral failing, but it can be crazy to the see the things virgin expect of women and our bodies and sexuality. Just because you say something in a non-offensive way doesn't mean its not offensive. Virgin men will fight with you about how your own body works. That's when it gets silly.

Stunning-Potato-1984 · 2026-01-11T02:46:02+00:00

It's an easy hitbox. Plain and simple. It's not that people even care about your level of actual sexual activity: they just know it will sting. Same reason men call women slags, fat, fatherless, etc. It's because it's an insult you can throw out that will hurt the person's pride.

It's because it's important to the man. Not because virginity is a terrible thing. If your intention is to hurt someone you hit what's important to them not you.

Oftentimes people give away their soft underbelly on accident which makes it easier to get a critical hit so you don't have to go generic.

althere000 · 2026-01-10T19:40:24+00:00

A good insult is one that bothers the insultee, regardless of what the insulter thinks about it. For example, I annoy my sister about having light eyebrows, even though I couldn't give a flying fuck about anyone's eyebrow shade, because she cares about it. Obviously men put quite a bit of weight on how many different people they've had sex with and often form a hierarchy around comparing themselves to other men in that regard, and women know this and see it as a good insult to use.

MiddleZealousideal89 · 2026-01-10T20:04:28+00:00

If someone is trying to insult you, they'll go for something you find hurtful.

Disastrous_Agent9307 · 2026-01-10T21:07:30+00:00

Ask yourself why we insult others...to hurt them. (Please note, what I'm about to say is just a rational process. I try to avoid insulting others and if I did, calling them a virgin even if I knew it would work is near the bottom of my list simply because it feels too easy on this forum).

What is the best way to hurt someone? Well, there's lots, but something they're likely insecure about has to be near the top of the list. Do I have to think their insecurity is valid in order to insult it? No. I only have to think they think their insecurity is important and thus know it would hurt them, right? I've been friends with women that think their eyebrows are strange and they're hyper insecure about that or like their arms in ways so deranged and ludicrous even trying to explain it would make you squint....but you can bet if I was pissed at them or casually cruel...first thing I'd go for is the eyebrows or the gnobby arms.

They're just going for where they know that man feels weak. How valid that is or isn't...pretty irrelevant. It's just obviously effective. Now, do some people believe these things matter? Sure...I'll go ahead and guess they're the sort of people who wouldn't agree it doesn't matter on a survey. Because the world is a garden full of different kinds of people.

Title	Why is virgin used as an insult if sex and relationships are supposedly not important?
Author	althere000
Upvotes	241
Comments	305
Date	January 10, 2026 5:52 PM UTC (6 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1q9aluf/why_is_virgin_used_as_an_insult_if_sex_and/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/why-is-virgin-used-as-an-insult-if-sex-and.1570884 https://theredarchive.com/post/1570884

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