Being a hoe has it's consequences

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Viewed differently*. They aren’t different. It’s the same thing. Just because people have told you and themselves it’s different, doesn’t make it different. That’s just your cultural bias setting in. Let’s take this from a logical approach.

Is it ok for a man to sleep with 58 women and still expect a woman to want to marry him? If so, why? Is it ok for a woman to sleep with 58 men and still expect a man to marry her? If not, why?

I’d like to hear your clear thoughts on this, since you claim they are totally different. And cmon now man. That last line sounded like it came from an incel sub. I was the most average dude in the world as a teen. I was a very late bloomer when it came to the attractiveness scale. Never had an issue back then. Don’t now. I never needed any of those things. Just knew how to talk to women and I wasn’t a weird, creepy, and publicly horny guy. Don’t blame your lack of success with women on factors like that. Does it help? Sure. Same way a girl with a big butt or breasts will get laid easier than an obese girl.

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Uh no…it’s biological and going against her human nature as a woman. Biology isn’t sexist. That is just what it is. If she thinks that’s “misogynistic” then she’s the type of person that prioritizes feelings and emotion over logic, reason, ration, data/statistics.

It’s funny how whenever you say something a woman doesn’t like, suddenly they resort to the following shaming language: misogynistic, sexist, who hurt you, you’re insecure, name calling and all types of ad hominem attacks.

This is the exact same type of who also wants men to be traditional men and gentlemen, but would refuse to be a traditional woman. She’s expecting you to pay for the check if you go out on a date, open her car door for her, protect her if somebody breaks in the house. By her logic that sexist, and misandrist to assume he should do any of that because he’s a man. They only want double standards when it benefits them, but as soon as it’s something they don’t like or inconvenience them “I’m a woman treat me different”.

These are some good listens: https://youtu.be/_8telkBWbgQ

https://youtu.be/RGn2-DKhnr0

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The bashing? Are you serious? Lol. People aren’t just saying “well nobody wants to marry a man/woman who has been with that many people”. But instead you’re comparing women to dog turds, and another highly upvoted comment was saying she’s a “cum dumpster slut”. That is most certainly bashing.

This sub has fallen apart. Everyone can throw their downvotes from the shadows, but that won’t change the fact that 95% of you reading this have never slept with a woman and likely never will. Hence why you come here. To get that feeling of “sweet justice”. I used to be all for the “nah, you don’t get special treatment just because you’re a girl” type posts here. That’s what the sub was intended for. Now it’s just angry teen virgins who are mad no girls want to sleep with them, despite them seemingly sleeping with everyone else.

This may not directly apply to you, or maybe it does. But it for sure applies to most people reading my comment right now. Y’all enjoy your circlejerk. This sub has turned trash

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Oh cmon now. This sounds just a tad bit incel-y. Nobody has to find the right person right away. If you fell in love with someone and found out they’d been with 4 people at the age of 26, you’d decline them? Are people only open to dating virgins now? Lmao. I agree that a lot of people see it as a red flag when the number is TOO high. But to say they need to find a man and settle down right away? Wouldn’t even logically make sense.

If men only dated virgins, slept with them, and it didn’t work out, that’d leave a much, much smaller pool for men to find partners in. Because half of the women would’ve met at least one guy and tried to “settle down with him” only for it to fail.

As long as their body count isn’t absurdly high, who really cares? Are people that insecure that they can’t handle if their girlfriend or wife has slept with someone at some point in their life?

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[–]qdolobp2 points 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Horribly bad faith argument you’re making. Nowhere did I say you can’t have preferences. I myself wouldn’t ever date someone with a body count that high either. That wasn’t your point. You said the wisdom was there. For them to find the right guy and start a family with him. That’s some Christian mindset shit.

Implying girls should all wait until marriage, while allowing men to have sex whenever they want creates a paradox. Everyone can’t find a virgin girl if the men are having sex with them like they want to.

The problem was what I just stated. You implied they need to follow the wisdom of elders and just look for the right man and to start a family. Not everyone wants a family. And not everyone cares if a girl has had a couple previous partners. Not to mention the straight women-bashing that this sub is littered with now. It used to actually be a good sub. But now all I see are comments such as “cum dumpster whore” and “nobody will want to touch her loose arby’s sandwhich vagina”. The sub is full of virgin teenage boys who are angry that women are having sex with other people than themselves. And they know it. They can downvote all they want, but they know I’m right. Most people reading this comment are likely virgin teen boys.

[–]Facepalmitis6 points 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Christian mindset shit

Religions evolved as a means of distilling and passing down wisdom about how to live a happy and fulfilling life. Since the west disposed of religion a half century ago:

Implying girls should all wait until marriage, while allowing men to have sex whenever they want creates a paradox.

Agreed. Which is why I didn't imply that. Not sure where you got enough hay to construct this colossal strawman.

The rest of your reply isn't even worth quoting, christ it was funny reading it. I get the impresson that you're foaming at the mouth and getting droplets of spittle on your monitor / phone as you write. You should take a chill pill, which for you probably comes in the form of a few big sausages.

[–]qdolobp2 points 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Know what else unhappiness correlated with? Social media and technology. Don’t go pretending like atheism is a disease that kills happiness. Religion has, and always will be bullshit to keep people in line. Another correlation is ignorance and happiness. Funny enough, I’d say you have to be pretty ignorant to believe in an old book that supports slavery and more.

So maybe they were just happier because they were ignorant and uneducated? Oh sorry, forgot you’re hiding behind the wall of the “great-grandmothers’ generation” giving that advice. You wouldn’t make out like the advice was good if you didn’t believe in it. Unless you’re suggesting you commented that without actually believing it is good advice yourself? In which case I’d say that’s a super weird thing to do.

Lol at me being “foaming at the mouth”. Nah, I just said this place has turned into an incel breeding ground. What would I have to be upset over? If none of y’all want women to like your, that’s totally cool with me. Impacts my life exactly 0%

[–]Facepalmitis2 points 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Don’t go pretending like atheism is a disease that kills happiness.

I never did. Why put words in my mouth? Religion simply attempts to tell people about the truths of human existence, and how to navigate these truths to lead a happy & fulfilled life. I'm not religious, if you're wondering - but I do like religion.

Happiness is two main things:

1) Human pleasure comes on a spectrum, with immediate pleasure on one end, and long-term pleasure on the other. It's easy to make the immediate choice, but it will lead to vast unhappiness. It's harder to make the long-term choice, but is ultimately far better for us.

Eg. If I did everything I felt like, and nothing I didn't, I'd quit my job, eat nothing but fast/junk food, stop working out, and smoke pot and play video games 24/7. At least, until I got evicted for failure to pay rent. Then I'd weigh 800 lb. and be homeless. IOW getting what I want would make me miserable!

The story of Cain & Abel exemplifies this. Everything seemed to work out for Abel, and his brother Cain hated him so much for it that he eventually murdered his own brother. The story tells the reader that the reason everything worked out for Abel is that he made the right sacrifices.

Translated into modern parlance, Abel sacrificed short-term pleasure so that he would have more long-term pleasure. He did the ancient-times equivalent of investing money instead of spending it, eating healthy food instead of junk food, going to work instead of quitting and playing video games, and so on and so forth. He chose to do the less pleasurable things, and that is why his life worked out well and he was happy.

2) What you hold in your heart determines your happiness. If you have hatred, anger, outrage, and other negative emotions in your heart... that's YOUR HEART! "But it's justified!" you tell me, "Those people I hate like, totally suck and are bad people!!" Completely irrelevant, it's YOUR heart.

Religion is big on forgiveness because when you forgive someone who wronged you, you're giving up the negativity in your heart so that you can be happier.

Whether you're a feminist who hates men, an MRA who hates women, a racist who hates blacks, an antiracist who hates whites, a religious person who hates atheists, an atheist who hates religion... The toxic, negative emotions you're feeling in YOUR HEART will see to it that happiness eludes you.

Have a listen to 'The Grudge' by Tool

"Life is a tragedy for those who feel, and a comedy for those who think" - Cicero

I'm mildly amused, and I'm about to go lift weights - the difficult choice, but the one that leads to long-term happiness. I lift about 90 minutes, 6 days a week.

I wish you luck in tackling your anger, my friend. It's making you miserable.

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That is a weird outlook to have for a guy who posts nothing but porn. Maybe if you had more sex partners you would feel differently. To be honest, this comment, along with your straight up porn account, just makes you like like a hypocritical and judgmental, incel. I’m not making assumptions here, but from where I stand, it doesn’t look good. If you’re not going to judge a dude who has had sex with a lot of women, then you shouldn’t judge women any differently. Also, “whoring it up” isn’t destructive, nor does ut negatively effect your chance of conceiving and having a successful ten pregnancy. By that logic, a monogamous couple that has had a lot of sex would decrease the chances of successfully getting pregnant which is clearly not the case. Not every woman that has sex is a regular in the abortion clinic. Not everyone who has sex end up with STDs. You can be responsible and get checked, and make sure your partners are checked. How do you think all the porn actresses in all the videos you post do it? Also… previous porn. Anyways, don’t hyperventilate about the facts. 🤓👍🏼

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A lot of women try to psychologically circumvent this realization by playing the "I have the right to privacy" card. That in itself is a logical fallacy and a cope though.

"Having a high number of casual encounters is no big deal. Nope, not a big deal at all. Such a not-big deal that this is the one thing my significant other cannot know about me under any circumstances! This information is so negligible that I must guard it with my life!"

As a woman, I'm going to tell you this: we all know deep down that a high count lowers our value. It's wired into us through millions of years of evolution just like it's wired into men to despise women like this. A lot of women out there are well aware of this, but they simply want to have their cake and eat it too, so they rely on far-left progressivism to enable this.

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That seems like a failing is on the man in that case. Someone who can't get past their own insecurities. If she's only slept with that many men not been in committed relationships why should a man feel insecure? Do most people really fail to realize that sex with a loving partner is a different experience in itself. She wouldn't be comparing you to all those men, maybe to a couple that stood out to her, which is no different than a women with a lower count. I would feel more valued and respected that she feels strongly enough about me to not continue sleeping with others.

On the flip side a woman with an extremely low count would make me feel like she doesn't actually know that I'm what she truly wants just I'm the one she's getting it from and she doesn't want to find someone new and risk being labeled a "hoe".

I'll take the woman who knows what she wants everytime.

[–]jakeofheart6 points 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

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[–]djspacepope0 points 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

"Plus, you prbly have HPV". People seem to forget the reason why we were supposed to limit sexual partners. STDS. Nothing else, not "being a whore", or "men with standards". The reason why it is judged is due to STDs. If you had 57 "partners", doesnt mean you were safe with all of them.

And when a woman finds out that a man has a high body count, and she doesnt think the same thing, well shes asking for trouble. And through observation men know women dont care about men's body count. Which is bad, if they did, it would be equality. But they sit back and complain that we do care about our sexual and physical health and are picky. Meanwhile she finds a shirtless guy at the beach, and she "progressives" all over his dick.

And that kids, is how STDs continue to spread. Did you know we could wipe them out if we were all monogamous? Or at least not so "progressive" about how we view sex.

[–]orangekirby2 points 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

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I get where you’re coming from, but why does that matter if it’s 5, or 60. If the fear is that they will compare you, why does number matter? To illustrate, which is worse: 5 people who blew them away, or 1 good one and 59 mediocre?

The other side of the coin is that someone with a lot of past partners has had varied life experiences that have shaped them. They have explored themselves and are open to new opportunities. This person CHOSE you. They could be with anyone… or everyone, and they think so highly of you that they are content that the “next best thing” isn’t likely better than you.

Everyone gets to have their own opinion, but I think it’s important to evaluate what’s driving the feeling. It could be lots of things: shameful feelings from upbringing or religion, insecurity around sexual prowess, insecurity around fidelity and probably many more.

All I can say is that I wouldn’t let things my parents taught me, a 2000 year old book written by goat herders, or the self-work needed to be more secure stop me from loving a partner that is perfect for me except for the path they took to get to me.

[–]Dramatic_Explosion-9 points 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]emax47 points 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Not quite. I get where you're coming from and see your point, but everyone has standards. If you slept with double the number she slept with, you'd feel pretty good, right?

What if she dated socialites and popular people with far better looks and financial backgrounds than you? What if she found your dream destination very boring from having traveled there time and time again, when you've never been there and are still excited to visit?

Also understand that insecurity is generalized here and should be more specific. I'm secure in approaching someone attractive to tell them a bro is interested in them, but maybe not so secure about approaching them for my own interest for fear of rejection and crushing my hopes. I'm secure in taking a windows PC and installing MacOS on it, but insecure about setting up a networking server. So someone who may be insecure about a body count may think they may be compared to others, or worse yet, not valued enough as the woman seems to have no standards at all. Like they say, the person you love may be "the one", but that person may not see you as "the one" themselves.

[–]Zlobnaya-9 points 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

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You don't seem to understand that men and women are different. A man who's able to sleep around, is a man who displays a lot of qualities society regards as valuable. Low value men can't sleep around. Sleeping around for men is hard.

A woman doesn't need to be a high value woman to be able to sleep around. She just needs to not say no and don't have obvious birth defects. Sleeping around for a woman is comparable to stuffing yourself untill you have an indigestion at a free banquet. It's easy.

Sleeping around means different things when a man or a woman does it. Because it's easy for a woman and very hard for a man. People don't get praised when they excell at doing something easy. People only get praised when they do something hard. When a woman and a man are being promiscuous, only one of them is doing something that's hard to do. So it's only logic that only one of them gets praised.

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[–]Scandi_Navy4 points 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

No your mistake is thinking men and women are the same and play by the same rules.

Men are not guaranteed to be the biological parent like women. Men rely on a woman's lack of promiscuity for paternity. Men are willing to give up a laundry list of other preferences for a sexually conservative woman. Also because family court destroys men. Risk adverse behaviour.

Women on the other hand want the very best they can get. Looks, money, status. Those few men are thus very popular, and women try to lock them down by offering sex before commitment.

Cool. But the rest of the men don't want to clean up after that. Risk she will try again. Risk she will get bored or resentful over not having a yacht. Having to settle for a single mom. Specially after getting ignored most of their youth by those women.

We get it. No one finds love in one try. But prostitutes a hundred years ago couldn't match the body count of your average girl next door in 2022.

Sex is easy to get for women, for most men there is an industry with a payment model now. That's fucked up. And men are expected to risk their future on a woman? Risk she'll stay, that she'll be loyal? Currently 80% of divorce is initiated by women, 90% if higher educated. Absurd.

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[–]Scandi_Navy2 points 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

No I view a relationship as something I invest in. And just like a business, I need to be able to trust my business partner. If you bankrupted your last three startups I'm going to have questions. I as a man am going to be liable for your fuckups, your cheating, your random feelings, your single friends ability to manipulate you, and the divorce that could result in. You can't be my equal because the government doesn't hold you liable. In the eyes of the government you are an irresponsible child. And if you run away from home I am still financially responsible for you through alimony.

You think I care so much about half an hour of fun with you? Not only is that openly for sale, viewable for free online, but women will meet up with stranger they matched on dating apps. So what exactly do you think you are offering me in a partnership that's worth the risk for me eh?

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[–]The-Box_King-34 points 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Were they good reasons? The main 2 were:

1) feeling like they'd compare you to previous partners. Why think of their previous partners? They are choosing you for a long term relationship NOW, you are who they currently think are better. You don't compare each time you had sex with a time you did it better with the same person, why introduce the weird ultimate sex ranking when other people are involved

2) that she doesn't respect herself. How is having sex not respecting yourself? It's just an action. It doesn't decrease your value. When you think of it like dancing would you only want to dance with people who haven't danced before rather than people who know what they're doing, or god forbid, someone who's better than you at it.

And that doesn't even touch on how many of the men who give these reasons will use this as a double standard and think it's totally fine if the man has had 58 sexual partners.

[–]Equilibriator25 points 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Men don't want to have to compete with 50+ men when having sex. Over time there's a higher chance of the relationship failing because you can't measure up in bed. Do you want to live with that self doubt? Not every man can, many are self conscious. The harder she is to climax, the worse the man will think it's because of this reason and there's nothing he can do. Some men think of this immediately and don't want to systematically crush their libido with self doubt.
What makes you different from the previous 50+ men? Are you going to be able to trust you aren't just 59? Why exactly are you taking her word that she didn't want to date any of those guys and only started caring now? Why the fuck does she remember the exact number?

It's like applying for a job that has a high turn over rate. That probably means something about it sucks. Red flags. 59 shags is a red flag. She doesn't sound like she wants a relationship because that's what she wanted all along, but more because everyone else is doing it and she's realized she's getting left behind. Not exactly a promising reason for a long and joyful relationship. How long till she realises she misses the old life and wants to return to it and you are the only obstacle?

Your last comment is sexist. I'd have absolutely 0 issue if a woman said she went off a guy because he's had too much sex. It's an absolutely normal reason to call off a relationship, it says so much more about a person that "oh they just had sex a lot." Not to mention a lot of people want traditional partners and traditional partners don't fuck around.

[–]The-Box_King-26 points 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Both your points to 1 and 2 rely on that you are in competition with previous partners. Which you aren't. When you cook for someone else do you worry that someone else in the past made them a tastier meal? No, because that's really unhealthy to do in a relationship. And there's even more competition there because they'd have had 3 leaps a day everyday of their life.

Also the study linked in your other comment only linked a correlation of cheating and number or partners, not causation. Because cheating inherently raises your number of partners, like the instant you think about it for more than a second you realise how easy the direction of correlation goes.

And pointing out a common point of sexism isn't sexist. Mentioning how despite cheating being statistically insignificant between men and women despite women cheating being scrutinized at a far greater level is actually a relevant point to make.

People can want traditional partners if they want, but maybe thinking why they want it is a good thing. If someone only wants to date a specific race it's a good thing to question why. If someone doesn't want a bisexual partner is a good thing to analyse why. If someone wants a partner who is a virgin is a good thing to ask why (in this case want = will not accept a romantic partner without that want). IT IS GOOD TO ANALYSE YOUR OWN WANTS AND REQUIREMENTS FOR RELATIONSHIPS

[–]Equilibriator22 points 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]The-Box_King-7 points 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

It's clear your pedestalising sex as a sacred act when it is just an act.

And you're acting as if you are the defendant when the original post is literally implying it is right and good that it becomes more difficult to find romantic partners the more sex you've had (not even more sex, more sexual partners). Like this (clearly fake) woman is sad about part of her life being more difficult for something she shouldn't be shamed for and commenters are saying stuff along the lines of "it is good she is suffering, having sex outside of the sanctity of wedlock and only having sex with the man you lost you virginity, your innocence to is such a disgusting immoral act that should be punished by you never being fulfilled. You disgusting whore!"

You're just trying to hide your shaming behind "it's just a preference". You can have different values, but judging another person's social value based on your own is weird and creepy

[–]Equilibriator12 points 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

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[–]Soplop10 points 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Dude what!? Do you really believe what you’re saying? Comparing sex to food and dancing shows how you view sex. There are people (myself included) who view sex as a special and intimate thing to be shared with a loved one. Others (like you) view sex as “just an action”. These two groups of people rarely see eye to eye on this subject (understandably so). Me personally, I’ve had relationships with both types of women. There is a distinct difference in their personalities, relationship ideals, and morals/values. Yes it’s anecdotal but it’s been a rather clear indicator to the quality and reliability of the partner. I felt WAY more valued and loved in the relationship where we both had only been with a couple people before. That relationship lasted much much longer too. There is definitely something “off” about the relationships with high body count ladies. I never felt the same type of love. I just felt like their “guy of the moment” (which turned out to be true each time). It does indeed feel like you’re guy number 59, and they’ll move on to guy 60 when they get bored or inconvenienced or whatever. Cause that’s what they did the other 58 times!

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Any evidence that will be presented regardless will be dismissed. There was a CDC study indicating the higher number of partners a woman has the higher the chance for divorce. It's pointless because you have your point of view and for whatever reason based on your defensive note you will disagree with anything that doesn't fit the narrative you want to believe. The reality however is that most men do not want a woman who has been ran thought . Women can choose to do as they please but it doesn't change the fact that men will see it through their looking glass and either add to her count and move on or skip her all together. Relationships are on a low because of the misandry because of how tipped the scale is towards women. There is no benefit. As a a full time father of 3 ,I can tell you I've met plenty of women who don't have much to offer.Can't cook have to be told to clean spend their time on social media find it difficult to self assess and make changes for the better or meet me half way. They don't choose equality they seek preferential treatment .

[–]Topol1no_Qu3lloV3ro-8 points 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]BridgeBurner221 point 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

And that doesn't even touch on how many of the men who give these reasons will use this as a double standard and think it's totally fine if the man has had 58 sexual partners.

You don't seem to understand men and women are different. And because they are different sleeping around means different things for them. Because it's easy for a woman (don't say no and lack obvious birth defects and you're good to go) and very hard for a man (you need game, money, above average looks, decent career, social aptitude, social status,...).

People don't get praised when they excell at doing something easy. People only get praised when they do something hard. When a woman and a man are being promiscuous, only one of them is doing something that's hard to do. So it's only logic that only one of them gets praised.

[–]Scandi_Navy2 points 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

No your mistake is thinking men and women are the same and play by the same rules.

Men are not guaranteed to be the biological parent like women. Men rely on a woman's lack of promiscuity for paternity. Men are willing to give up a laundry list of other preferences for a sexually conservative woman. Also because family court destroys men. Risk adverse behaviour.

Women on the other hand want the very best they can get. Looks, money, status. Those few men are thus very popular, and women try to lock them down by offering sex before commitment.

Cool. But the rest of the men don't want to clean up after that. Risk she will try again. Risk she will get bored or resentful over not having a yacht. Having to settle for a single mom. Specially after getting ignored most of their youth by those women.

We get it. No one finds love in one try. But body count negatively affects marital happiness and increases chance of divorce. Women initiate 80% of divorce, 90% if higher educated. Women got jobs and men aren't allowed a life anymore. If they fall below 100% efficiency with at least 10% annual growth they get their life destroyed in divorce. Mom will use the sexist court system to keep men from seeing their children to get more child support.

Women treat men pretty disgusting if you ask me.

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Of course people have the right to feel the way they feel. But I don't think I'm simplifying sex. I'm just stating how people like myself feel. I don't think it's fair to call people like myself "prudes" for having a limit on our preferred body count. It's not about being sex negative. It seems more like we're not allowed to voice that we have any kind of limit whatsoever. Like we're not even supposed to. Honestly, can't you see the logic in having a limit? If 58 is fine, then what about 100? What about 300? Doesn't it seem like at some point there may be a problem? We acknowledge alcohol and drug addiction. We acknowledge shopping addiction. We generally acknowledge that it's possible to overdo just about anything, so I'm not sure why we can't feel like it's possible and potentially unhealthy to sleep with so many people. I don't think that makes me a prude, I think it's just myself being aware that there is a limit to everything in life. Even good things. Eat too much ice cream and see what happens. Even something as simple as that has negative consequences if you overdo it.

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If so, you are a minority and you used two weak conversational strategies: 1- ad hominem, 2- use unique cases to generalize.

When I say that most women don't like poor, ugly and unsuccessful men I really mean it. Most girls feel special when they have a handsome, successful man who chose her over all other females. That makes her feel special. The only case in which you may be right is when your female friends tell you that he's a bad boy cheating so you shouldn't date him because he fucked your best friend. Women tend to be highly influenced by their friends opinions. Most rich and competent men don't feel the need to spread the news that they fucked this specific or that specific girl and they find a way to keep it private, for example by paying. Only unsuccessful men would spread that, and they would do it just because it's uncommon for them.

And if you still on average prefer ugly and poor/unsuccessful men, you are a minority, but that is not something to be proud of.

[–]DoctrDonna-3 points 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

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You are dumber to think that your goal of getting a successful AND loyal man is realistic.

Women prefer to sleep with men who are total whores

Did I ever mention that? No I didn't. The point is that women prefer successful men over unsuccessful men in the long term, and since you didn't understand the concept let me go further, because if they had to choose between the two they'd choose the successful man regardless of how many other girls he has fucked. Actually, it is the fact he chose her over other million females and still be with her despite the options that makes her feel special and cultivate the relationship.

The fact that men who are successful think that it is their right to sleep around, and then they judge women for doing the same, is a huge part of what is wrong with the world.

Women and men are different.

1- over 90% of women if they do sex, they need to feel a certain emotional attachment before making that choice. Men don't. When I say girls that men can literally fuck girls without feeling emotionally attached and still have a great experience, about 9 out of 10 don't believe it/deny that/accept it but can't understand this concept. Men tend to look for quantity even if they can't, women look for quality.This means that when a woman is cheating, most of the times she's not cheating only sexually but romantically too. When a successful man is cheating, he's either doing it for habit as he can afford it, or by frustration, but less often by emotional attachment. A successful man that lives in abundant sex with different women can easier look for quality too in a woman, as contrary to when he was unsuccessful, his instinct doesn't feel the need to prioritize sex in a relationship, while an unsuccessful man is as faithful as his options.

2- Women can get sexual attention very easily. You don't need to be the 10% girl to get sexual attention or sex, while a man needs to be realisticly part of the 10% to get that. If a man gets sex, it is often earned with effort(financial success mainly) as statistically most men can't get enough sex. An average woman can literally enter in a club for free, scream, and a bunch of guys who want to fuck her would go around her. It's not special. Every woman can do that. Not every man can do the same. Furthermore, not even the 10% of men get the same sexual attention as an average girl. And there's a lot of data about this. Look for the data yourself.

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You're not upset that men find it repulsive, you're upset that you were told that body count didn't matter, and it's irreversible.

A lot of women try to psychologically circumvent this realization by playing the "I have the right to privacy" card. That in itself is a logical fallacy and a cope though.

"Having a high number of casual encounters is no big deal. Nope, not a big deal at all. Such a not-big deal that this is the one thing my significant other cannot know about me under any circumstances! This information is so negligible that I must guard it with my life!"

As a woman, I'm going to tell you this: we all know deep down that a high count lowers our value. It's wired into us through millions of years of evolution just like it's wired into men to despise women like this. A lot of women out there are well aware of this, but they simply want to have their cake and eat it too, so they rely on far-left progressivism to enable this.

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Yeah we don't think of marriage with a hoe. It's just the way it is. Some guys say they prefer a "well experienced" woman. I'd argue men prefer experienced women only if you talk about sex. But securing a relationship is another story. And if they still say that, most of the times reality is they don't have the courage to say the truth for many reasons, including the fact that they don't have many choices available( like most men ), or that they will be ashamed by other women calling him misogynistic or something. Like someone said, you can be a hoe and nobody will stop you, you might have even changed and now you are less promiscuous, but men of value will reject you. Men can have a past with a lot of sex without many bad consequences, women can't. It's not about having rights or not having them, it is just the way it is. Just like Men who don't have a "valid" secured future won't generally have a successful game in the dating scene, women who had a hoe past won't too. Men mainly look at women's past in terms of relationships, women mainly look at a man's future.

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Edit: I forgot Redditors haven’t ever dated anyone. Don’t tell people your number, that’s nobody’s business but yours

No, we were taught that honesty is the best answer. If she has to hide it, it means she's ashamed about it. If she's ashamed about it, she's going to want to be honest about it so she doesn't have to sit on a secret the entirety of the relationship, which could potentially be the rest of her life if she's looking to settle down.

Like... this says more about your shitty morality than it does about anyone else's dating strategy. Clearly you're a liar and you keep shit from the people you love. "Who cares if you cheated? Just don't tell her about it!" Thats what you're saying, because if you have zero issues lying about the little shit, why would you care to be honest about the big shit?

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I initially said “yeah it looks confusing” but maybe to a native speaker or a reactionary, and I guessed you’re the latter.

Also, that’s pretty reductive of you to just say all I’m saying is “me right. You wrong.”

I’ve said that “they” is used as a singular pronoun here. I’ve said that the people downvoting you aren’t misogynists, they’re just too lazy to have this exact same drawn out bullshit conversation because they see how exhausting and (incorrect) you are

***All I’m saying is, it was wrong of you to label him as a misogynist when he’s only talking about that one lady. As I’ve said, maybe he’s been around that type of woman before and found that they generally downsize their body count.

There’s even a “rule of 3” out there, so it’s not just him thinking that.

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Man it's not about gender role models (2 mums or 2 dads are absolutely fine imho), it's about having enough people around to take care of you. 2 parents is a bare minimum, I'd say that even that is not enough and the extended families on both sides are required to create a balanced environment.

Now, if it wasn't for the institution of marriage (that in some way, shape or form was independently developed by most cultures in the world) there would be a greater incentive to break families up, creating great problems for society.

Having one parent is not the end of the world, but if the percentage of single parent families sky-rockets because of the absence of a deterrent, that would create insane problems.

Now, don't apply a strowman to this situation: making relationship work is hard even in the most loving and committed couples. Sometimes the deterrent of the complications of a divorce will make people work on their problems together instead of just breaking up instantly: this doesn't mean, as you say, that dysfunctional families have to stay together (in the long run the dysfunctionality will lead to a divorce because the problems are greater than the benefits). It means that families don't just break up because of small misunderstanding like a teenage couple would.

That back and forth that is fine when you're young and have no responsibilities, it's not fine anymore when there's a child to be raised. Stability is of the utmost importance.

Again, just realism. It's not a hard point to understand, unless you don't want to understand.

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It’s fine to have preferences and it’s understandable to want to go for someone with little experience, but IMO that desire is rooted in insecurity and is therefore immature. Also, her number is 58, not 580…

First of all, even if it was rooted in insecurity it doesn't really matter, plenty of preferences are - it is what it is. Hell, the whole concept of monogamy one could argue is rooted in insecurity, we (men and women) don't like the idea of our partners sleeping with other people in case they end up wanting to stay with those people.

Secondly, it's reasonable to at least heavily suspect that if this woman has slept with almost 60 men, monogamy probably wasn't particularly high on her list of priorities, and most people - again, not just men - tend to prefer loyal partners. A promiscuous partner is less likely to be faithful, and the data shows that promiscuous women tend to be more unhappy in marriages.

So if I, as a man, am looking for a potential partner to settle down with, I'm probably not gonna wanna choose someone who a) has way more sexual experience than I do, b) is less likely to be faithful, and c) is less likely to enjoy being married. Are there exceptions to this? Of course, I'm sure there are women out there who've slept with 60 men, settled down with a dude who'd slept with fewer than 5 women, and had a sexually fulfilling marriage that they remained in forever. But that's not gonna be the norm, is it? Now if 50% of marriages already end in divorce, why would I wanna lower those odds even further?

The Madonna whore complex is a psychological theory about categorizing women as one or the other and how it influences attraction. It’s not meant to say that literally all men think that way.

Literally no one here has made that claim though, and I've seen no hard evidence suggesting even a substantial portion of men think women are all either sluts or virgins, with no variation in between.

This post’s comments section calling her a whore over and over, though, very much gives me those vibes.

I don't agree with calling her a whore, but I think it's safe to say that 58 men would probably qualify as promiscuous by most men's standards. Some men think promiscuous = whore, hence the insults.

[–]orangekirby-10 points 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

I feel like we are talking past each other or are reacting to different content. I don’t even disagree with what you are saying. People usually can’t escape their insecurities, which is why I said it is understandable.

I think people also tend to look for similarity in a partner, which is why similar sexual experiences could be a factor.

What I’m reacting to is this comment section calling her a whore and implying this woman (who lets be honest, this is probably a fake post anyway) has no value because of her body count. The fact that this is even posted under the label “pussypassdenied” is silly to me. Like “this bitch thought she could have harmless fun with no consequences!” Wtf.

I don’t fault a guy for considering the reasons you mentioned above, but that level of awareness and openness to look past a number if other factors are involved is not what I’m seeing here.

[–]BoreDominated7 points 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

What I’m reacting to is this comment section calling her a whore and implying this woman (who lets be honest, this is probably a fake post anyway) has no value because of her body count.

I've already disavowed the whore comments, but you've already conceded that a preference for a woman without a high body count is understandable, so what's the issue here? I don't think anyone the woman was describing said she has less value as a human being, only that she has little or no value as a potential partner, for some (or maybe even most) men.

The fact that this is even posted under the label “pussypassdenied” is silly to me.

It's a woman acting surprised that there are consequences for her actions, so that's probably why it's posted here. I agree though that it doesn't really fit.

Like “this bitch thought she could have harmless fun with no consequences!” Wtf.

I think that's the point that's being made, that this type of fun isn't harmless, it harms your ability to attract men in the future if you ever wanna settle down (while being honest with them). We can also go into the data on promiscuity and how there may be other potential harms that can arise as a result of this lifestyle choice.

I don’t fault a guy for considering the reasons you mentioned above, but that level of awareness and openness to look past a number if other factors are involved is not what I’m seeing here.

You don't need to see it here, people aren't obligated to look past a high body count if they don't want to. For some, that's a deal breaker, and it's a perfectly valid preference to have. For some women, if a guy isn't over 6'0" that's a deal breaker, and you know what? They have a right to have that preference, nobody's out there telling women "Height is just a number" are they?

[–]orangekirby-1 point 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]BoreDominated3 points 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

I see comments making fun of women with height requirements all the time.

Then I would disavow those comments, and anyone who has a body count preference who also cries about women who have height preferences is a hypocrite.

I mean, it is what it is and people can have their preferences, but I think it bothers people when a man/woman has extremely rigid rules and puts them out there in a way that characterizes anyone not following them as sub par people.

If you're a promiscuous woman, but you know the potential pitfalls of promiscuity and you don't care if you suffer them, or you're prepared to accept the risks in favour of the benefits... go nuts. If you're a promiscuous woman, but you're too ignorant or dumb to understand that this might have actual consequences later in life, then you are a sub par person. This applies to women and men.

Like there’s a difference between writing “I prefer someone with similar sexual experience and values as me” and writing “I’m not getting with the neighborhood bicycle”

Yeah, the only difference is that one sounds respectful and the other doesn't. They're typically both denoting the same feeling. If you wanna say I'm guilty of being crude or mean or whatever then I'll take it - you got me, I was mean on the internet.

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Sex, physical intimacy, is a HUGE part of relationships. My body count is <10, but I have still had very attentive partners, and very selfish ones. Sexually pleasing a woman requires more finesse than a man. If a man is just mindlessly humping away for 30 seconds we aren't going to enjoy it even 1/16th as much as he will. He will still walk away from the encounter sexually satisfied and happy, but she will be left unloved, frustrated, and feeling like her partner doesn't care about her enough to do something as simple as returning foreplay, or thrusting at an angle he knows she likes, even if only for a short period! It feels like being used, it's absolutely awful.

For many men, they will try initially, maybe for the first year, possibly longer, but usually after marriage and ESPECIALLY children is when they stop giving a shit, so it makes sense why women would want a divorce when they've reached that point where the man no longer cares about showing her love or affection. No one, regardless of gender, wants to be in a loveless marriage. When your partner just sexually uses you with no regard for what you like, no matter how much you communicate what you like to him, sex just becomes a chore, and after chasing around your 2.5 kiddos, cleaning, and cooking all day the last thing you want to do is have your partner use you like a sex sleeve and essentially toss you in the garbage.

I'm in a long term relationship, nearly 2 years together, engaged and getting married next year, and we have lived together for over 3/4ths of our relationship. We are not traditional people by any means, but our relationship itself is quite traditional. He works, I manage the home, cook, clean, and do some entrepreneurial work on the side from home (I'm unfortunately suffering from chronic illness and maybe cancer, due to this I cannot work in a traditional environment, which is why I've resorted to being a cam model so we can afford my medical care so I can keep living, and pay for my tuition so I can get my doctorate and HOPEFULLY go into my full time actual career ASAP), etc. He is the dominant in our relationship, and I am submissive, that being said we have equal say on big decisions and equal enormous respect for each other.

Do we have sex as much as we did initially? No, for many factors, partially being my health and his job being exhausting. Is our sex ALWAYS as good, long, and hard as it was initially? Also no, but I NEVER walk away from sex left feeling unloved and unsatisfied. Even if we do no foreplay and it only lasts 5 minutes, I always feel good, because he pays attention to me and what I like, and makes an active effort to do those things. He also just generally loves on me when we have sex. We still do hardcore fucking, but we also slowly make love, with lots of kissing, holding, etc...

If a woman is more sexually experienced, that likely means a few things. She's going to know the difference between good sex and bad sex, she's going to have a better idea of what she likes, she's going to have a better idea of how to please her partners, and more than anything else she's going to be more comfortable sexually and have higher standards. I am in the process of becoming a sex therapist. The biggest problem I have seen in my studies sexually between couples is the lack of TRYING to please their partner, and it's almost always men who throw in the towel first. Whomever it is within the relationship, that scenario always leads to unrest within the relationship, and oftentimes separation.

I read the article you linked above, and though it is interesting and articulate, it is from an inherently biased source, and it's also outdated. The theory they had as to why more premarital partners led to higher divorce rates was that women who had more were less likely to attend Christian church, and more likely to be aware that if they were to leave their partners, they could find love again. They also theorized that if a woman had more premarital partners, they would have more "baggage", making for a more difficult marriage, though this claim is not backed by any evidence.

For the sake of continuity, here is a new study conducted by the same researchers (https://osf.io/preprints/socarxiv/ke5fj/) In contrast to the previous study, it concluded that women with 3-5 premarital partners had the lowest rates of divorce amongst any other group, including 0-1.

In conclusion, there are many reasons why premarital partners may affect how successful a marriage is, but correlation ≠ causation, and to truly get to the root of why, far more research needs to be done into different contributing aspects. Studies also need to be conducted without the support and supervision of a religious organization or university that is vehemently against premarital sex.

[–]Get2theLZ-12 points 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]netver-22 points 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

This is coming from a conservative think tank pushing an agenda.

More than that, the marriage won't simply "fail," SHE will more than likely be the one that files for divorce. Any prospective long term partner deserves to know that the relationship is more likely to lead to failure

The most idiotic ideas conservative think tanks promote is "divorce bad" and "divorce ruins marriages". No, it doesn't work that way. A ruined marriage leads to divorce. It may take some experience to be able to realize that the marriage is dead and it's best to part ways. Incels want to have an inexperienced woman who will tolerate abuse, mediocre sex, lack of effort on the husband's side, and never complain about it. Proper men prefer an equal partner they can actually respect, who will divorce them in a moment's notice if she wants to (but she doesn't, because she's happy with them). Worried about her taking your stuff? Sign a prenup. Or simply don't get married.

[–]2005RX84 points 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

"A ruined marriage leads to divorce." Sure, but what constitutes "ruined"? The differences in expectation, needs, and desires between men and women leads to an incongruity in the relationship which leads to divorce.

When men are asked what they want in a wife they give their desires and then are asked "if you got 50% of that, is that a good catch or settling?" They will say that's a good catch. When women are asked what they want, they give their desires and then are asked "if you got 50% of that, is that a good catch or settling?" They say that is settling. If they get 80% of what they want many women still consider that settling.

Women instigate divorce 2 to 3 times as often as men, and the number 1 cited reason is "dissatisfaction." Look through family court stats, see how many men are absolutely blindsided by a divorce they never saw coming. The suicide, poverty, depression, and criminality rates of men post divorce indicate that there is a problem with the way society handles this issue, and it is biased against men. I dont care that the study is conservative in origin. Progressives hate marriage, children, and monogamy. You will likely never see a pro marriage argument from a leftist organization, unless it is by accident (okcupid used to publish their stats until they realized they go against progressive ideas).

[–]netver0 points 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

The differences in expectation, needs, and desires between men and women leads to an incongruity in the relationship which leads to divorce.

Of course. But your calculations are based on nothing whatsoever.

Look through family court stats, see how many men are absolutely blindsided by a divorce they never saw coming.

That's exactly what I get from my female friends. The #1 complaint - men just don't give a fuck. They expect to be serviced, and don't expect to put any effort into the relationship, pretend they don't understand why the woman is unhappy about having to do everything around the house. This worked in the older days when women had literally nowhere to go, but, thankfully, now they can easily leave.

"Housewife" is quite far below what most self-respecting women would want to do in life, yet this is what's frequently expected from them due to how men are frequently raised. Especially conservative men, those are the worst.

Progressives hate marriage, children, and monogamy.

Progressives hate misery. Ever noticed how what looks like the majority of boomers would make jokes about hating their wives and their lives, while those wives would make jokes about "mummy juice" helping keep their sanity? Their lives are actually miserable. Millennials are far less likely to get stuck in these soul-sucking relationships, thanks to that wonderful thing called "divorce" where you can split up and try again, or not, whatever.

You will likely never see a pro marriage argument from a leftist organization

You misunderstand the whole concept. To you, a marriage is a way to trick a woman into submission. Make her a house slave, burden her with childcaring tasks while you stay as long as possible at work or in a pub, just to avoid being home. That's why you're pissed off when they refuse to accept this shitty deal. This is a typical approach I've seen with pretty much every conservative. To normal people, a marriage is a union of two loving people. If they're not loving, then there's no marriage left, and it should be dissolved.

For me, it's important that my girlfriend stays with me not because she has nowhere else to go or because it's too difficult to separate, but only because being with me is better than being without me. Not a very hard concept to grasp, right? :) And I don't care how many guys she dated before me. She picked me, so I'm better than all of them, which kinda makes me proud. Whether or not we decide to get married is not important at all - who cares? It won't change anything.

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💀 my brother tried to pull this life has no purpose we're on a floating ball in space shit. It's an excuse people make so they don't have to deal with the reality that is that they haven't accomplished anything important

Happiness is cool, but it's not everything. I'm a pretty happy person but I'm not satisfied, I'll never be satisfied, it's what keeps me actually doing stuff

As soon as people feel like they reached their goal, they basically roll over and die. It's miserable

There's nothing wrong with judging people. I don't know why people have spread this around. It's just peace love positivity bullshit.

And yes I guess you're sorta right about the wife thing, but a wife is alot more than some fuckbuddy, it actually involves developing a deeper bond.

At a certain point of indulgence this enjoying your time mindset you have goes to shit. What's the difference between an occasional drug doer and a drug addict? One just "enjoys their time" a little more?

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I’m curious: why does enjoying life have to correlate with having no goals? Most I see it’s the opposite. In the last 5 years I’ve started a company, run 5 marathons, traveled to 17 countries, been to 6 music festivals, took my parents on an all expense paid vacation, completed training be a volunteer court appointed child advocate for kids in foster care, bought a home, made amazing friends, and went on a whole lot of really fun dates.

I’m pretty ambitious, work hard and make a very good living, but it’s honestly the least fulfilling part of my life. The things that bring me the most joy are adventure, experiences, and living life to the fullest.

Nothing wrong with you having your own road map to your own personal fulfillment, but deprivation is not a requirement for everyone to achieve a life of reaching our potential. To each their own!

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Okay I'll spell it out for you. Your mistake is thinking men and women are the same and play by the same rules.

Men are not guaranteed to be the biological parent like women. Men rely on a woman's lack of promiscuity for paternity. Men are willing to give up a laundry list of other preferences for a sexually conservative woman. Also because family court destroys men. Risk adverse behaviour.

Women on the other hand want the very best they can get. Looks, money, status. Lifestyle for her kids. Those few men are thus very popular, and women try to lock them down by offering sex before commitment. But they are not that interested because they have tons of interested women giving it up. Women won't enforce body count in men because it hinders chasing these top 10% men.

Cool, you do you. But the rest of the men don't want to clean up after that. Risk she will try again. Risk she will get bored or resentful over not having a yacht. Having to settle for a single mom. Specially after getting ignored most of their youth. And once the women run out of pretty suddenly they are good enough. Lol.

We get it. No one finds love in one try. But body count negatively affects marital happiness and increases chance of divorce. Women initiate 80% of divorce, 90% if higher educated.

Risk, risk, risk. Women got jobs and men aren't allowed a life anymore. If they fall below 100% efficiency with at least 10% annual growth they get their life destroyed in divorce. Mom will use the sexist court system to keep men from seeing their children to get more child support. No one cares about male suicide.

Modern women treat men pretty disgusting if you ask me.

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I've never heard any fuckboy phrase at all because I'm at the age where "Fuckboy" isn't part of a vernacular in my age range. Plus I've never set a goal to be a fuckboy but rather get involved with a woman I was interested in and establish a LTR with her.

I had a FWB with a woman older than me, and at the time I dwelled on wanting it to be a LTR, but wasn't sure about the age gap. At the time I never considered a body count because she was my second and she was older, plus I was too caught up in just being together with her. One time my Dad kicked me multiple times and I wanted to be with her. I didn't want sex to take my mind off the pain, but just wanted to be held and comforted (and she did, no sex). Years later I did end up with a FWB which is how it started. I treated this person like a gf and it started to go that way, but I backed out because of my standards. She did a lot of drugs back then whereas I never did drugs (to this day). I regret not getting into a LTR with her because she was such a nice person and we had a lot of good memories as friends outside the bedroom.

I can't recall if I asked her about body count as I may not have been serious with her at first, plus my standard was prior drug usage. Sadly she passed away about 8 years ago, so while I told myself I probably couldn't be with her, I still regret not maturing and letting old standards get in the way.

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Very well said! If I had a high body count I probably wouldn't care either. A lot of people don't realize it's wanting to feel comfort in having similar values and experiences. Opposites attract to a degree, but when you match with someone who has been through the same shit as you; it's much easier for that person to accept your faults, your thought process, your reactions and actions to things, your choices. I understand why some people may find another shallow for reasons, but those same critics have not yet been criticized for what they have and have not done (yet). They may feel they're the Victors and gatekeepers for deciding what's right and wrong, but have not yet experienced things from both sides.

It's not wrong for the woman wanting to be as sexually liberated as she wants, just wrong for me based on my own experiences and needs. Some other dude may be totally okay with this, and if they can both find happiness in each other, I certainly wouldn't want to be the wet blanket for pushing my own ideals and opinions on them for that. More power to them!

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Because leftist Disney-Adults seek to ~~groo~~ "influence" other people's very very very young kids into believing that being sexually destructive to your body in the name of instant gratification but long term harm is perfectly acceptable.

They do this because their long term ideology is that they don't want kids to grow up and have children of their own. They simply want to ~~groo~~ "influence" as many very very very young kids into their cult as possible so that they then have more Disney-Adults to go out and ~~groo~~ "influence" other people's kids.

What we are seeing now is a good couple of generations of ~~groo~~ "influenced" kids hitting their mid 30's and their 20's, who have had their lives and minds warped by the actions of Disney-Adults & have no clue or understanding about the consequences of the life choices and decisions they have made.

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[–]Mink_Niffy7 points 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

I mean if you have 58 past relationships, chances are most of them lasted less than a year then you're probably the problem. There's no way she met 58 dudes and all of them were just bad men sure maybe some were but I'm sure it less than half which would still be 29 men! I don't mean just in sex but imagine 58 dudes like that's wayyy too many to not atleast do some self reflection. Like fuck dude the average is probably like 10ish 15 ish at the most right? This is almost 6 times that ｄａｍｎ. Most dudes are probably scared of her not because of "mileage" but because of how many relationships she tanked 💀 I don't think I could be with someone with that many ex's that's just sus

Edit: I mean if we're to believe like 48 mfs were one night stands. And 10 we're relationships that's still still wayyyy too many one night stands and a lot of failed relationships... The problem isn't that you had sex 58 times like I get it I have a high drive too ngl but when it's 58 different people that's a problem. Didn't school teach you that having sex with a bunch of people is dangerous? Like it takes one slimey sleazy infected mf to fuck you over for life and there's a lot of them... Also I got auto banned from r/offmychest for commenting in this subreddit 💀 I ain't even an incel dog... If you gotta ban people and control what subreddits they go on wity threats of bans then you're kinda bitchmade ngl. Ironically most of this site is adults but they have waaaayyy less chill than the teens.

[–]legstrong1 point 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

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[–]Mink_Niffy1 point 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Hmm interesting! When I see someone I usually look at their past to see what the future would be like. Like if they had substance abuse problems, if they cheated, been to prison, stuff like that and the more recent those things are the more it weighs into my decision to really be with this person.

When I see a high body count I don't see "mileage" I see somebody who either has a lot of failed relationships (a red flag) or is so addicted to sex that they'll smash anybody... It's one of things were it's sorta tells me that they kinda don't care about their safety. Like it's pretty dangerous thing to be doing and something to keep in mind about. Then again I don't get jealous over a body counts it just raises some red flags for me.

I'm pretty sure I'm unusual in that regard though... I just examine what someone has done because of that whole phrase "actions speak louder than words". And I really take that to heart with someone and if I think I could be with them.

I don't ever compare people romantically or do something stupid like ""value"" I focus on one person romantically and if it seems good I'll go for it and it if it doesn't then I'll move on eventually. Money, status, ""value""(I hate this term) don't matter to me but actions, personality, and compatibility do.

[–]legstrong2 points 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

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[–]RTX44447 points 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Freedom of choice(or speech) doesn’t mean freedom of consequences. She can sleep with whoever she wants, but she also can’t tell men what criteria they should follow when it comes to valuing women. Don’t know why she’s surprised, it’s been like that since the beginning of time. Men and women aren’t the same, we’re different. Different doesn’t mean anything bad, but biologically when it comes to relationships and sex we’re not the same. Women deep down inside know their body count matters, which is why they will either lie about the number or refuse to tell a man that she’s interested in.

There’s been plenty of studies that show that once a woman’s body count goes to 5+, her ability to pair bond decreases and the likeliness to a success relationship decrease. Really it’s a biological thing, men usually seek quantity in partners and women usually seek quality. But you know how people are, they’ll put feelings and emotion over ration, reason and statistical data.

The bigger issue is when these women get ran through and they finally want to settle down, they want you to pay full price for what 100 other men got for free. Doesn’t even make any sense. Why would I have to do more when they did less and still got it? There’s nothing on earth that increases in value with both age and usage. That’s like asking somebody to pay MSRP for a 1999 Dodge Neon with 500K miles and leaking transmission fluid.

These are a good listen: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LD_EhGeH7s4

https://youtu.be/RGn2-DKhnr0

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As a solo dad who as lived both as a full time worker and a stay at home dad, it's a pretty sweet gig being a stay at home dad. Way better than working 50 hours for cents, missing all your childrens development. Will I ever be rich? Yes, in memories and amazing moments. With money? I'll live comfortably but won't ever be "rich". I'm okay with that. Money won't help me when Im dead, nor will memories but shit, a life of good is better than a life of imbalance and bitterness that my pairs want to be parents and not a nicely greased cog is some dudes machine.

It's not about "going for woman with high paying jobs". Because you can argue the selfish people on both sides. The most selfish people that exist in our society are those who only work. Make all the money, and keep it. Not that I personally care, just pointing out that staying at home as a parent is selfish, absolutely, but not as selfish as our lovely multi billionaires

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Men and women are different.

Biologically, one of those differences is that men who have one or more partners through their early years and maintain over time a persistent and healthy sex life, will develop build and enhance their sexual capabilities. Men hit their sexual peak in their 30's and the quality of their sperm between the ages of 20 and 40 is almost negligent, if any at all.
.
Women on the other hand, in terms of fertility, degrade each and every year from the age of 20 onward, with a steep decline in the quality of their eggs and birthing system from age 26 onward. By the age of 35, they have 1/20,000th the chance of a successful contraception and healthy child development in the wound over the course of a full term pregnancy, than they would have had just 10 years earlier. By the age of 35, a woman's womb will literally be a geriatric quality organ. No organ in a man will be considered "geriatric" until usually they age into their late 60's.
.
What then significantly reduces the quality of that fertility for women is unprotected sex with partners that have higher than normal risk factors of passing on STD's https://www.cdc.gov/nchhstp/healthdisparities, unprotected sex with multiple partners (every additional partner increases that risk), catching any STD's at all, smoking, excess alcohol consumption, recreational drug use, etc.... Then abortions compound those factors unbelievably again - even just one abortion at a Planned Parenthood or abortion clinic is enough to end your chances of ever conceiving, or bringing a baby to a full term pregnancy.

[–]Volpe666-5 points 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Congratulations you spewed some random facts about age and fertility, the above comment I was responding to speaks about "value" not just fertility, and you are correct that STDs can cause severe damage to reproductive organs, once again though we weren't really talking about fertility this one is however on topic.

Your point about higher sexual partner numbers increasing risk for contraction of STDs is true of both men and women, this is why many women will also be turned off by finding that a male partner has a high body count.

But to circle back to the comment I was responding to, the notion that men build value and women retain/lose it like a fucking car as soon as you drive it off the lot is utter bullshit. I am 26 I have a good job and hopefully will soon buy a home, all of these things "build my value" but this is true regardless of gender if I was sitting around on the dole making nothing of my life I would be unattractive regardless of gender.

It is a fucked notion to try and teach kids the girls start at 100% attractiveness and it is only down from there if they make mistakes and boys start at 0% but it only goes up if you put the work in when that just isn't so.

Anyone, man or woman who is fat or has a shit haircut or dresses poorly can make an effort and embark on self improvement.

Obviously those are only a fraction of the examples of how people are in control of their own attractiveness regardless of gender.

[–]Octopotamus50006 points 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]Volpe6660 points 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Please specify exactly which fact you would like me to be direct on instead of saying I danced around "it" without saying what "it" is.

But just to take a stab at it if it is that men and women are different then yes in man ways they are and in many they aren't.

Due to the difference in physiology and testosterone men are far physically stronger, generally due to the same hormonally differences men and women will exhibit different emotional reactions and different statistical interests.

To follow that through to the realm of intimacy and relationships where we started this means that men and women will likely value different traits in partners.

What it doesn't mean and what I have disagreed with from the start is that the differences in what men and women value mean that men must build value and women must retain it as that is utter tripe, both men and women can build value what a partner values may mean they have to build different things but they are able to work on self improvement none the less. On the flip side there are things that both men and women may value particularly if they are religious that can be "lost" such as purity whether it is pure abstinence or high body count.

Edit - Sorry forgot to ask where my age and experience were painfully displayed? I really don't see how reading the number 26 can be so painful.

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https://i.postimg.cc/4yp7789n/FB-IMG-1658853648100.jpg

I am happily married with a child :)

https://scholarsarchive.byu.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?article=1137&context=etd

Here's a study that shows that the more sexual partners a person has, the less likely they are to be sexually satisfied in marriage, and this one says it doesn't matter if they are male or female, stating that males are even less satisfied they more partners they have had. When you consider that women instigate divorce at 2 to 3 times the rate of men (and the most cited reason being "dissatisfaction") and have half as many sexual partners as males (on average) it becomes apparent that women place more importance on sexual satisfaction in marriage than men. Which is not a stretch, dudes seem to be happy to just watch porn and jack off to get through the day. Not only that, it supports the idea that women who have as many or more sexual partners than the average male will be overwhelmingly more likely to divorce.

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OkCupid used to publish their dating stats, they are a very progressive company with a massive user base. They showed that what men and women value in a partner are very very different. The age of the man doesn't matter to women. The number of sexual partners doesn't seem to matter (in fact more partners seemed favorable to some women). And while women view 80% of men as below average in physical attractiveness (which is insane), physical unattractiveness can be negated by the appearance of wealth. Men who make less money, get less responses, get less dates, and are less likely to marry. And this makes sense viewed from evolutionary biology and psychology. Children are expensive, sexual selection is based in the survival of offspring. Men want access to healthy eggs to fertilize. Women want access to resources and security to get through pregnancy (potentially multiple pregnancies) and child rearing.

[–]2005RX81 point 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

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In a secular fashion, I would argue that sex is best used judiciously in relationships because it does a whole lot of chemical things to the brain to facilitate pair bonding.

High body counts numb us to that reality, which isn’t healthy for our relationships or our sex drives. I’m not even saying be a prude. Rather, be judicious. There’s a difference. 78 is a lot for anyone. It’s not really normal. (For reference, she’s about 35% of the way through Barney Stinson’s body count of 200..)

So yeah, if the average person is turned off by that, there’s a reason. The most hilarious part is that, should OP actually want to settle down, her partner is actually entitled to know some of that history because it could pertain to their health or needing to give her care assistance (monetarily or otherwise). In many states, not disclosing such information can be grounds for divorce.

[–]manbro7 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

i liked and dated a girl once. I tried to believe she wasn't a hoe despite every red flag and hints of red.

Then she tells me she was aromantic. She thought she must be incapable of real love or feeling romantic feelings.

Instant red flag. I know hoes don't feel real love. There's science on it, pair bonding diminishes.

Later on she talks about how she loved and was serious with the ex 2 people ago. So she can actually love.

Her previous ex was a girl bc she's that promiscuous, despite not being an actual lesbian.

I was miserable and now I'm happy again.

Never commit to a hoe, never be with one who has traits of promiscuity, and "aromantic" means hoe who lost the ability to pair-bond. Save this, remember. The hints of promiscuity you feel from her are there despite her hiding that part from you. Magnify by 20.

[–]KaramelKitten1 point 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]MazerTag 13 points14 points15 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

I (1993 Ford Aspire) hate how auto buyers value me because of my mileage.

So I have been with 58 different owners which I know is higher than average but I wanted to have fun and enjoy new experiences and it's my tires so I wore them out. My seats have been replaced too many times, and the padding no longer feels right. The transmission slips because people have slid it into gear very roughly numerous times, and the clutch was not always properly lubricated, so it is hard for some drivers to tell if it's actually in gear yet. One buyer was interested recently, but I had to admit to him that I had applied a really thick paint job, buffed out whatever body damage I could, and rolled back the odometer a little. When I was finally honest about my "high mileage," he ended up bringing me back to the dealer and purchasing a shiny new model that no one has test driven, and only a few people have been inside.

I ejected windshield washer fluid for days after that. I'm just more than the abuse I've taken from not being choosy about who owns my ass. I have a decent set of bumpers still, a fun 8-track player, and I'm still younger than a lot of those muscle cars who probably take their owners to the gym every day and don't get passed around by a bunch of other slobs.

But I guess I'm just used goods in most people's eyes.

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Lol except we all know the consequences of our actions do we not?? Like it or not we are judged over things we do control.

Men are judged on they job they land, the income they have, their money, does money make a man good? No but sadly thats what men are judged on most of the time

Women know they are judged on their sexual history, which is why most are told to lie, they chose to go that route knowing what the endgame could be.

If I as a man chose to fuck around and not get my shit together for a good career, you bet id get no sympathy, and no women would look twice at me.

Like it or not women are judged the same way, the difference is they dont accept it, they want to lie their way into a man that does not want that kind of woman and thats WRONG, she has to be with a man that is okay with her having that many bodies, are you saying its okay to lie? Because thats the fucked up part

[–]Valyrian_Tinfoil1 point 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

There’s plenty of broke ass dudes landing hot chicks because they’re hot, talented at something, or they’re just more connected to reality than most rich dudes.

Your view is off. There’s something internal that was shifted a long time ago, and I think you’re holding on to “the way the world is” from similarly poor judges, because mankind comes from a long genealogical tree of trauma, and this is the period in which the old models of living will have the final nail hammered in.

Real Men™️ and women don’t accept being judged at all, in my opinion. This person is simply sad that their ease of getting what they want isn’t so easy now that her values changed.

Saying she’s disgusting even though she wants to be a different person now is truly disgusting and your inability to converse (listen to ideas, then share your own) has gotten old and i see that you’re not worth the time.

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[–]emax41 point 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Not all men like a challenge. Put yourself out there when you're older, when you've dealt with more shit in and out of relationships, and see if your confidence then matches or exceeds the confidence you have now.

Do you have the confidence to jump over a chain link fence today like you may have done as a kid, with your older body and scars? Do you think you can heal just as fast now if you fall or get back up as easy? Think you can run down a hill as fast like you did then, or jump off the last three steps at once in a stairwell?

Here's a fake challenge... I challenge you to give me $100. If you fail the challenge, I win! If you pass, I lose the challenge but have $100 of yours. (kidding)

I understand challenges and the need to push one's self, but I feel it shouldn't be that way with relationships. What's the reward (even to a dude)?

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[–]flowerofhighrank 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Apres moi, le deluge.

I'm a straight man and my number is higher (no ONS, no hookers) but I'd never reveal the true number to anyone. If I'm std-free and committed to being monogamous, why tell someone a piece of information that has nothing to do with who you are now? sheesh, I used to skateboard a lot. Doesn't mean I'm going to start busting-out kickflips.

Being sexually active at that level was A LOT OF FUN. It was also fucking dangerous and caused a lot of heartbreak, but I survived and I am fairly certain that I am not going to have a 'mid-life crisis' where I buy a Harley and start banging random nurses. I did the stuff, it was fun and it's nobody's business. I am a very faithful husband.

She needs to stay safe, reflect on the pros and cons of her past and TAKE THAT SHIT TO THE GRAVE, the way most of our grandmas did.

[–]scaredofshaka 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

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[–]snopuppy 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Okay, a lot of you dudes are telling her not to reveal her number and it says a lot more about you than it does anything else. If you're meeting someone you want to potentially be with for an extended period of time, you don't want to have major secrets like that. If you're okay lying about the little shit, why would you be honest about the big shit? No wonder women don't trust anything you say, you think information like that should be lied about or hidden between life partners. My wife has a higher body count than I'm personally comfortable with, nowhere NEAR 60, in fact it's barely in the double digits, but I'm a monogamous person, I've always dated with the intention for it to go somewhere so my personal body count is relatively low. I realize I'm the odd man out though so I don't judge her for it, but I would if it was THAT high and if she didn't want to tell me, I wouldn't want to be with her because I couldn't trust her to tell me the truth for anything. Are ANY of you that are telling her thay she doesn't have to tell him married at all, or are you still fucking around like a boy?

[–]loganhudak 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

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[–]May0972 points 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Because she made her choice on the basis of rhetorics like (my life my rules, exploration and probably a little independent women), and now that people are doing the same, not wanting to date her because of her choices she hate that.

Also, she's not sad about the right thing. Let me explain, let's say you run over your neighbors dog and they stop talking to you. What you should feel sad about is running over the dog, your own mistake, learn something from it and move on. On the other hand, if you feel sad about your neighbor not talking to you and don't register running over the dog as a mistake in your mind. Then you're not taking responsibility for your own decisions.

She expects men to cater to her beliefs, because that is the type of person she probably is. Someone who always expext others to live according to their beliefs.

Well guess what, most men and women don't like marrying a walking petri dish of STDs and mental issues.

Edit - Personally it doesn't matter to me what someone do with their body. Yes, as a human i will warn them to treat sex carefully, not to sleep around because that doesn't end well for most people. But if they still want to do it, okay, more power to you.

It's your life and it's your choice. However, will i ever settle with someone like that? No, never, because that is my choice. I don't want to settle with hedonistic people who on most occasions (not true for everyone, but I've noticed this in everyone I've seen that sleeps around) don't accept responsibility for their mental problems and use sex as a crutch. And are incapable of settling down.

What pisses me off, is the nerve of such people to cry when other people don't agree with their lifestyle choices. Fine! You made your choice, not let everyone else make theirs. Accept responsibility for your decisions and move on with your life.

She is still blaming men, no where in her mind does she hold any accountability for her current situation.

[–]orangekirby0 points 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]May0972 points 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Did you read any other sentence? I don't think you did. If you did you'd realize i never said she definitely has those problems.

I said most often people who engage in such behavior have these mental problems. Seconds, the more number of partners you have, the more a risk of STD you have.

I'm not willing to take that risk with my life. I've already been in a couple of emotionally abusive relationships (some of them had this exact issue, using sex as self-medication for their mental issues. I also have a couple of friends, both men and women who does this), so i won't be risking the same.

And also, people are judging like that, because guess what, that happens in most of these cases (cases of people like these). And no one else wants to waste their time and risk their health and happiness to compensate for her choices.

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ew. no one is born with sexual value. i think i get what you mean but it's worded very awkwardly.

if you mean "women naturally have sexual value" then i'd have to respectfully disagree. for starters, sexual attention for women really isn't that much of a plus because many of us have been getting sexual attention since we were 9, unfortunately. it's not flattering or cool. likewise, women can absolutely be sexually unviable. many women straight up do not enjoy sex. others have other commitments (work, school, family) or personal issues (physical/mental illness, trauma, money). a woman with crippling low self esteem and poor social skills will not pull no matter how hot they are.

women absolutely do need to work. they need to work on their physical appearance and confidence just as much as men. learning is also required. we need to learn how to get and keep men interested just like men need to with women. furthermore, women need game, too. so many women are legitimately 10/10 smoke shows but they can only get laid because they don't have the confidence or mindset to have a relationship due to other factors.

anyone can get laid if they really wanted to. just depends on how much you are willing to cast your net. people with high body counts typically keep their tastes broad. if you pride yourself in your taste and are willing to keep your # low bc you only want to sleep with what you genuinely like then that's on you. the people with high body counts don't do that. that's on them.

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She’s likely never had a long term relationship.

Over roughly 5 bodies a year give or take? Don’t be dramatic lmao. If you’re popular at a party college your body count probably increased by 58 during undergrad alone. It just shows that you partook in hook up culture at a point in your youth. Not that deep.

And keep in mind that 5 a year isn’t consistent over that time. “She” (assuming that this person is real, which I doubt) could’ve dated 1 guy for 3 years. They break up and she dates a handful of guys the next year.

Being nearly 30 and never being in a long term relationship is a red flag for both men and women and I’m saying that as someone who is exactly that. Pretty much every guy I’ve met has thought it was very awkward bc physically there’s nothing wrong with me and I’m not religious. Gives the impression that I’m a huge shut in (which I am) and there’s nothing hot about a shut in that rarely leaves the house.

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Massively increased risk of STDs with someone that’s slept around that much. Also averages out to ~5 men per year (5.27, rounded down) if she started at 16, which is a pretty common year for virginity loss. That many people coming and going from her life in that short of a time span indicates that she’s either never had a long term relationship in lieu of casual sex, has cheated on a partner, or has only managed to have relationships that span a couple months before fizzling out. All of these would lead me to believe that she’s either too immature to have a long term relationship despite her now wanting to settle down after she’s had her fun, or that she has some major personality issue that’s actively driving men away from her. Every woman out there can feel free to be a whore, but men are also free to choose to not want to settle down with one because of the myriad of issues that that sort of heya your is indicative of. 58 is also a crazy number for her age. Wouldn’t be an issue if she were in her 40s or 50s, but she outright admits that she’s had her fun and is looking to settle down now. As in, spent her 20s with fuckboys and now wants someone that offers more stability

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3 things to unpack for any person questioning why this is wrong.

1) Sex is something special, intimate and caring to share between two people in love. When you have given it out so readily to any man you looked at, what is special and reserved for your partner? Whats supposed to be a special moment offered to him has been handed out to every other man he may walk past.

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2) Why does she consider sleeping around meaninglessly to be fun? There are extensive repressed moments and emotions that cause this behaviour. Is it a desire to be needed, wanted? Is it a lack of attention from parents? You can't just turn repressed feelings off when you want to. You wouldn't slit your wrists and then declare "I'm doing slitting now, I want to relax", you need proffesional help to resolve those deep down behaviours.

.

3) She said it herself, it was just some fun. What happens when she settles in to a relationship and decides it isn't as fun. Sex with strangers is short term, instant gratification, a quick dopamine rush. The same thing that drug abusers recieve. You sure as shit wouldn't trust a guy who's just spent 10 years slamming cocaine up his nose to declare one day "Im going to be drug free" and not desperately dream of going clubbing with just a few gram in his pocket when he's sat on the sofa on a Saturday night watching a crap film.

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Thats not up to you tho, i dont have to be a christian man to want a christian woman, thats fucking stupid, and men are not shaming women for doing this, they just dont marry them, how is that shaming??

If you want to hoe around more power to you, but dont try to shame me into marrying you, find a man who is not disgusted by that, why be with a man who doesnt share your views on sex?

The problem is as simple as this, she screwed herself out of a category of men who dont want a woman with that many bodies, but instead of accepting that fact, and going for men like you that dont care, she is trying to force her way into the men that dont want that, thats the fucking problem, shes tryna cheat her way into a place thats not for her

Edit - guarantee you wont even answer this, your logic is hella flawed.

Edit 2 - married my wife who i met when she was 16 and i was 15, so yes even with my views i still talked to women.

[–]SansyBoy141 point 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Alright never things wrong with this.

1) “men are not shaming women” and “if you want a hoe” are both things you said. If you call a women a hoe, you are shaming them.

2) “she’s trying to force her way into the men that don’t want that” how the actual fuck is she trying to force her way into it. All she did was go on a date and get ghosted.

Like how fucking dumb are you. How is it that you are so fucking stupid, that if you see a women who has had sex before, then they are just a sex machine.

Let’s use that logic with you. Ok you’re wife has probably had sex with you, numerous times. So she has had sex numerous times. GUYS THIS GUYS WIFE IS A HO…. See how stupid that sounds.

Just because someone has a lot of sex, doesn’t mean that they are a bad person, or are any different from someone who doesn’t. Are there some people who are, yes, but the majority of people who have a lot of sex, are normal everyday people. Hell I am bi, I could get a dick to suck in 2 minutes, and quite often I do, as I’m not dating anyone and it’s fun. And yet I don’t go into a relationship thinking “I need to fuck I need to fuck I need to fuck” because thats fucking stupid.

You actually have the mental age of a 6 yo

[–]Ramzabeo1 point 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Are you retarded? Are you really going to compare a woman who has sex with the same man who she is MARRIED to btw, to a girl thats sleeping with tinder dates on the regular? You better get your brain checked, thats beyond stupid.

And yes, since we are discussing this here, i would call her a hoe, would i do it to her face? No, will i go out of my way to find her and call her one? No, im not shaming her, im stating a fact, thats what she is, just like a man who does the same thing is a man whore as well.

The problem here is that she SHOULDNT complain about men being disgusted by her body count, shes not dumb, she must of known that was a possibility when she started fucking around, except now she doesnt want to accept the reality of it.

I do not care if thats the life she chose, i do NOT care if she regrets it, all i care about is how simps like you will argue that we shouldnt hold her accountable for her actions, that we shouldnt care, that she should hide her body count, thats fucking insane.

If you dont care about that, then she should go for men like you, but what shes doing is complaining men like me wont touch her, which makes no sense since we share different views as is.

And just to finish it, are you really dead ass serious going to compare a woman who married her first boyfriend, has sex with him say 58 times, to a woman who slept around with 58 different men, are you really going to say they hold the same values? Are you insane? Please tel me you dont actually believe this

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[–]odysseytree 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago* (1 child) | Copy Link

Preferences are judgement. What's the problem with that? Did those men say anything to her. THEY WENT SILENT, that's it.

Can women have height standard for men? Yes, she can. Can she reject a short guy without saying anything to him? Yes she can. You are free to exercise your preferences.

Edit: /u/SansyBoy14 has blocked me from replying to his reply on my comment. A typical tactic of insecure white knight males who don't get relationship and jump on Internet to defend their maidens in a hope of finding a queen who will message him for his shining armour. But because he's 14, I'm giving him a benefit of doubt that he has lot to learn about the Internet.

As to his reply which I can still read:

Let’s put it this way. Ok you’re 5’10 and a women turns you down for not being 6 ft and for only not being 6 ft. And then 2 thousand people start to relentlessly shit on you for being short and start to call you a dwarf for being 5’10 and not 6 ft.

Not really a problem for me. I accept the consequences that if I publish my story on the internet to validate me, I'll get validation and judgement from both sides and it's my fault that I cannot handle the judgement because I know that the internet is not Utopia like you white knights want for your queens.

[–]SansyBoy14-2 points 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Are you really trying to say that 2k people upvoting calling this women a ho is ok just because they guy she went on a date with didn’t say it?

Jesus Christ you’ve never spoken to a women before in you’re entire life.

There’s a huge difference between having and exercising a preference, and calling someone a ho for sleeping with people. The fact that you can’t understand that is a huge sign that you are fucking stupid.

Let’s put it this way. Ok you’re 5’10 and a women turns you down for not being 6 ft and for only not being 6 ft. And then 2 thousand people start to relentlessly shit on you for being short and start to call you a dwarf for being 5’10 and not 6 ft.

That is the same situation that is going on here. You, and 2k other people are judging this women for having sex, because you’ve never been close a vagina in your life. Grow the fuck up, don’t call people a ho for having sex, and don’t defend people who call people a ho for having sex, you sexist pig

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[–]Da1Don951 point 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

59.9% of reasons why divorces occur is infidelity. Second only to lack of commitment. If you are not set in your opinion and want to use common sense or even research you would understand. Sex is great but having too many multiple partners is not. Repeated action leads to habit. Getting used to a habit of making connections and severing them on a constant basis leads to a significant reduction in the ability to maintain it especially if it's one lead by dopamine releases and the alternative of maintaining tge relationship is much harder. Everyone has more options and temptations than have ever existed and although people with substantially more past partners say they wish for commitment statistics show the opposite in their ability to maintain it. People are more promiscuous than ever and the divorce rate is at an all time high. No need for name calling live in your delusion it's no skin of my back

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[–]SansyBoy141 point 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

HAHA YOU JUST SAID BUSINESS INSIDER IS A TRUSTED SOURCE HAHAHA.

Several things wrong 1st source is outdated, and it even proves you wrong, as it takes a little bit of reading to find that when women it cheat it is usually not sex related, instead with a 2nd relationship, while men usually cheat through sex. Also thats not the university of Queensland, and even the site looks sketchy as hell.

2) both the 2nd are 3rd source known very well for having a lot of mis information, especially business insider. The fact that you think business insider is extremely well trusted really says a lot about this conversation, because it’s been very public for like 6-7 years that they are full of misinformation.

https://www.uq.edu.au/news/article/2010/08/ladies-you-don’t-have-be-relationship this is the real university of Queensland, this is research that shows that more casual sex actually increases the likelihood to have a better relationship

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Or, not asking questions that are none of your business.

First of all, you're presupposing that there's no such thing as "Word Getting Around" — which has even the worst potential of causing harm & possible irreparable damage to any potential relationship.

There are also these things relating to issues of Trust, Sincerity, Loyalty, Faithfulness, Integrity, Honesty, Genuine Intent of Purpose, etc. that all need to be taken into consideration with any potential mate.

So before I sit down and sign my name to any lifelong-binding "Legal Documents" forever attaching myself and the reputation of my family name & family honor to another person who could possibly become the mother of my children, hence my Legacy, then you better pfukking believe that it's "MY BUSINESS" to vet the schitt out of her azz, Real Word!!!

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You know… I have hope for her. People can be young and change their outlook. It might be a little weird if you were in a small town where you find out you have 58 Eskimo brothers from just your girlfriend, but hear me out. I had a friend who said something about his wife having a slutty phase. A couple guys guys him shit about even saying that (hate to tell you guys, but some of those little sweethearts you’re with right now had a slutty phase that they never told you about. It’s called a little white lie), but what I said was, “so what? A lot of us have had slutty phases. And just think, after running though a field of dicks, she picked yours. That’s special, bro.” So just know, if you’re with a chick, and you think she’s special, but you found out she slept with a bunch of dudes, at least you got an honest one, and after all that dick… thinks yours is worth settling down for.

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Imo men find high body counts intimidating because it shows that their partner (or potential partner) has options. If she’s not happy in the relationship she knows she can leave and find someone else and try again. If there’s a disparity between their numbers then she obviously is better at finding partners than he is, and therefore has more options, and less reason to stay if she’s unhappy. Lazy misogynist men hate that, so they use the “used up high mileage” argument as a justification that she’s no good. But I guarantee they’ll still fuck her if they get the opportunity.

The base issue here is that these men don’t respect women and still want stability, and regular sex with someone (like most of us humans) without the pesky work of being a good partner. An inexperienced woman who will put up with BS and doesn’t know from experience that she has value is more likely to stay with them, so that’s what they seek.

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What i find absolutely abhorrent about men is that they expect a woman to have high standards and have a low body count, which you know what thats fine, want what you want but then dont just turn around and pout when it comes the 3rd date and she hasnt given it up to you yet. If you want that virtuous woman then expect to pay virtuous prices, aka for her to make you wait till she decides to let you into the temple of which is her body. Thats what you want right, for her to respect herself.

Its like he wants her to have high standards but then break those standards for you as if your dick is gods gift to humanity and sPeCiAl. What is it scrotums! Pick one, virgin or whore, which we basically are if we have a body count above 5. Its like men expect us to have never dated around ever, 5 gos is all you have as a woman.

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Honestly no, you're the moron. Blindly hating isn't any better. It's provoking a discussion and even if it's serious, arguing with the person would be the right way here.

And talking about that, you should really look into the so called "Incel-Culture" which isn't even a real movement. Most of the guys there simply went through many years of mobbing, Depression, anxiety and rejection without ever feeling accepted let alone loved.

For a movement that wants to stand for inclusion, acceptance and support of people that suffer because they don't fit in with society it's almost funny how "Incels" are demonized as if they were pure evil.

The thing is I've been there and let me tell you, if you get nothing but rejection and hate for years and years without anyone that shows you love... it's only natural that there will come a certain point where you simply start to hate because that's easier then continuing to suffer.

And by now insulting them as Incels all you do is driving them right towards People like the alt-right. So maybe at least try to think a moment before insulting someone.

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[–]catkrieger131 point 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

That's a cliche at best. It depends on where you're living, sure but it's just as accepted for guys to fuck as much as they want as it is for girls.

Oh and to mention that: there are a whole lot of guys who have a hard time finding a girl at all. Of course there are assholes and duchbags which are very, very sexualy active but in today's (western) world it should also be said that women simply have a way easier access to sex (on average) then most men do. And that's also kinda where the connotations come from. For the average guy it is a giant fucking accomplishment to get laid at all. If an average girl wants to get laid on a Friday night, she most likely will get laid.

That's simply biology. Our ancestry Females had to be more picky about who to mate with since they would have to carry out the child and if left alone were pretty much dead. For the Male it wasn't much of a risk. That's the simplified version of why women do the sexual selection. The thing is, nowadays with condoms, the pill and stuff that's not necessary anymore. So women today (on average) have more sexual freedom then men do. And no that's not made up, you can look if up.

[–]meltedcheeser1 point 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

It’s “douchebag”.

Evolutionary biology demonstrates the benefit for “promiscuity” for both genders, equally. Suggesting that a woman is equally benefitted from multiple sexual partners at one given time, as the male will believe the child is their own, and thus protect and provide for the child under the assumption that it is their own. Similarly, a woman is benefitted by copulating with a mate who is biologically “superior” and then “fuck” with a man who is economically “superior” to pass the genetic benefits onward while benefiting from the economic gains of the latter. Baby trapping, as it’s colloquially called now.

It’s not a cliche. It’s the truth.

Men who can’t get laid are neither from either pools. Women who can fuck 58 men, clearly are at least from one of the two… at least subjectively to their partner.

[–]catkrieger131 point 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Thanks english isn't my first language.

To put it in more modern terms, because of evolutionary biology the "average" women is more attractive then the "average" male is. And yeah well that's why women have the easier access to sex in general (in most of western society). I mean just look at some of the research on dating (websites, apps and so on). I thinks apps are the best example here. Even though the distribution is about 50/50 most of the time, 80% of women only like "like" the top 10% of guys while guys are way less picky in general and "like" about 60-80% of all women shown to them.

And since men and women have mostly equal rights in today's western society, the second "pool" as you called it isn't to important anymore.

Oh and that's basically the whole reason the "involuntary celebrate man" exist. Or well a big part of that reason at least.

[–]meltedcheeser1 point 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]catkrieger131 point 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Oh for fuck sake. It's not as simple as people like you make it out to be. In fact most men suffer under the "patriarchy" just as much as women do but since differentiating isn't possible for people like you that obviously can't be and all the men benefit just because some fucking shitbags in positions of power are males. God damn it's because of people like you I've stopped participating in CSD parades.

The sad thing is, all you do with your attitude is push more people towards konservatives, alt-right people and fuckfaces like that.

But yeah go ahead, call me incel, educate the 50% males of people in the US that life in poverty on how they are suppressing women financially, make more and more men who get screwed over by the system hate the people who would change it. Have fun. I'm sick of getting called an incel for trying to have a sensible debate here. Fuck this shit.

[–]meltedcheeser0 points 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

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[–]meltedcheeser0 points 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

I think this is an exhaustingly reductionist narrative that is missing a lot of data. I’d rather some real literature on the matter rather than a fluff piece from medium, from an op-Ed author I’ve never heard of.

The history of relationships and dating has fundamentally changed. Relationships cited “your dad! Your grandpa!” are not the relationships of today. Prior relationships were motivated largely by economic stability or the shame of sex, whereas now relationships are oriented towards friendship and “emotional connection”.

The tinder data is a niche of the spectrum. Very few people are on those sites for love — those are hook up culture sites/apps. It’s just a fact. So to say, oh pretty girls only want pretty boys on dating apps that are about hookup culture, is… Ummm…. Duh. High school.

It’s reductionist to say girl want handsome men or rich dudes, because of course all people crave the best. It’s human nature and evolutionary biology. Just as you sex fantasy being w a celebrity, or winning the lotto. But lots of pretty girls are with very ugly guys. Like a lot of them.

Why? Because 1.) men don’t have to be beautiful — which we know from the fact that numbers are so deeply skewed. Top 78-percent of women want the top 20-percent of men? There’s another way to read those numbers — women can’t find a guy who isn’t gross because men are afraid of — too lazy for — judgmental against — whatever the word, avoid self care.

… I’m tired, look: Money and looks are easy ways to get attention but don’t sustain an iota of connection. Emotionally available, thoughtful, funny, good listeners, who are kind and playful aren’t lonely. Boring dudes who complain and masturbate to their own misery aren’t owed the attention of women.

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The reason it exists, is because women are born with inherent value. Men aren’t born with value, they have to work their way up the sexual marketplace, unless they naturally are incredibly attractive or have attained some sort of game.

On online dating sites, even average women get FAR more attention than the top most attractive men, and there is literal proof of this.

Therefore, it’s glorified for a man to be able to pull women, because most often he had to go through some sort of trial and tribulation to achieve it. Women naturally get attention from men. That’s why the double standard exists.

This is why women with high body counts are biologically looked down upon, they are absolutely less likely to make good mothers, skyrocketing chances of infidelity, and the type of men she desires would typically have options. If you are making six figures as a man, and have options, why would you EVER pick the 27 year old with 58 bodies? You would be playing with losing odds

[–]Kaleb88041 point 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Yes of course, because all women get every man they want. Men are just as important as women, you just don’t see women being incels as often as men because people have the exact mindset you’re presenting.

Biology doesn’t look down upon anyone unless they are born with disabilities of any sort, and there’s nothing you can do to change it. People look down on people, like you’re looking down on her. If ANYTHING, you’re proving yourself wrong, as a woman who can pull that many men is clearly physically able to be a mother.

You also implied men don’t naturally get attention from women, which is also just blatantly untrue.

Lastly, skyrocketing infidelity has nothing to do with how much sex someone has, it has to do with hormones and the imbalances being caused by the environments they’re raised in, whether physical or parental.

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So

More sex does not equal unsafe sex
There is no shame in her post, and assuming that she's ashamed is 100% coming from your own bias against woman having a lot of sex. There are plenty of people who have a lot more sex than this woman, that are in no way ashamed of it, nor should they have to be.
The doubt is coming not from her having a lot of sex, but from people like you'd reaction to it. Because you are enforcing traditional hypocrisies that it's okay for men to have a lot of sex, but not women.
Nothing is proclaimed in the "confession", other than she's an experienced woman who likes sex, which, last time I checked, a lot of people do. The one proclaiming things here is you, and people who share these outdated views on women.
Having fun is fun, no one is getting hurt by this woman having sex. Life sucks and before you know it it's over, so have fun while you can, certainly better than losers like us typing dumb shit on Reddit.

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Yeah but blindly hating is any better. It's provoking a discussion and even is would be serious, arguing with the person would be the right way here.

And talking about that, you should really look into the so called "Incel-Culture" which isn't even a real movement. Most of the guys there simply went through many years of mobbing, Depression, anxiety and rejection without ever feeling accepted let alone loved.

For a movement that wants to stand for inclusion, acceptance and support of people that suffer because they don't fit in with society it's almost funny how "Incels" are demonized as if they were pure evil.

The thing is I've been there and let me tell you, if you get nothing but rejection and hate for years and years without anyone that shows you love... it's only natural that there will come a certain point where you simply start to hate because that's easier then continuing to suffer.

And by now insulting them as Incels all you do is driving them right towards People like the alt-right. So maybe at least try to think a moment before insulting someone.

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Source one: I hate to be that guy but this is exactly the kind of pop psychology I was talking about, non of what is claimed in this article is cited with any studies

Source two: While this one does actually link a study (the links in the article don’t work but I’ll assume the study is real somewhere), the researchers themselves hypothesise that “more experience may increase one’s awareness of alternative partners.” I don’t really see how this is a bad thing?

Source 3: cites a super preliminary look at the rates of divorce with amount of sexual partners and acknowledges that a high body count has a lot of third variables attached to it that need to be looked into.

Source 4: This one is hilarious, it’s a blog post littered with big claims and no sources to back them up and a super obvious right-wing bias (eg. “They are promoting and normalizing a destructive behavior in an effort to bring down Western culture and civilization”)

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[–]DoppelGangHer880 points 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

You don't respect articles reviewed by accredited doctors for accuracy, studies that measure behavior over 50 years (how that is "super-preliminary," I don't know) or studies that show a strong correlation. Okay, I can respect that you want to see more in-depth studies.

Here's some highlights:

Women who have more than one intimate premarital relationship have an increased risk of marital dissolution
Although having multiple sex partners increased the odds of substance dependence disorders for both sexes, the probability of a disorder was higher for men with up to 10 sex partners in the same period compared to women; however, with more than 10 partners, the probability of a disorder was substantially higher among women versus men [...] Although substance dependence and multiple partners were more common among men than women at each age, the relationship between multiple partners and substance dependence was stronger for women at each age.
Having multiple sexual partners frequently adversely affects educational opportunities for young women, which can affect their careers and opportunities as adults; the frequency of multiple sexual partners have negative long-term economic effects for women as a result of a loss of schooling. There is little evidence, however, that the number of sexual partners adversely affects the educational and economic opportunities for males.
Women who begin sexual activity at an early age are far more likely to experience an out-of wedlock pregnancy. Over half of girls who begin sexual activity at ages 15 or 16 will become pregnant out of wedlock. By contrast, some 22 percent of women who begin sexual activity at ages 21 or 22 become pregnant out of wedlock.
Some 3.6 percent of sexually active women who have had zero non-marital sex partners have contracted syphilis, gonorrhea, chlamydia, genital warts, or genital herpes, or have a self-reported high risk of HIV. By contrast, the STD infection rate of women with 11 to 15 non-marital sexual partners is nearly ten times higher. Some 30 percent of these women have been infected.
Women were defined as having a stable marriage if they were currently married and had been in that same marriage for at least five years. Women who had more non-marital sex partners were less likely to have stable marriages. Over 80 percent of the women who had never had a non-marital partner were in stable marriages. By contrast, only 30 percent of the women with five non-marital sex partners were in stable marriages
The greater the number of non-marital sex partners a woman has, the greater the probability she will have an abortion. Some 7.6 percent of sexually active women with zero non-marital partners have had an abortion. By contrast, over half the women with more than 20 non-marital sex partners have had an abortion.
The greater the number the non-marital sex partners, the lower the probability of personal happiness. Some 56 percent of women who have had sex only with men they married report they are currently “very happy.” As the number of non-marital sex partners increases, the probability that a woman will report she feels “very happy” shrinks. Only 37 percent of women with five non-marital sex partners report they are very happy.

SOURCES:

THE HARMFUL EFFECTS OF EARLY SEXUAL ACTIVITY

AND MULTIPLE SEXUAL PARTNERS AMONG WOMEN:

A BOOK OF CHARTS

http://s3.amazonaws.com/thf_media/2003/pdf/Bookofcharts.pdf

Before “I Do”

What Do Premarital Experiences Have to Do with Marital Quality Among Today's Young Adults?

http://before-i-do.org/

The Relationship Between Multiple Sex Partners and Anxiety, Depression, and Substance Dependence Disorders: A Cohort Studyhttps://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3752789/

Premarital Sex, Premarital Cohabitation, and the Risk of Subsequent Marital Dissolution Among Women

https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1111/j.1741-3737.2003.00444.x

The Price of Promiscuity: Does the Number of Sex Partners Affect School Attainment?https://www.researchgate.net/publication/241764452_The_Price_of_Promiscuity_Does_the_Number_of_Sex_Partners_Affect_School_Attainment

Sexual Hookups and Adverse Health Outcomes: A Longitudinal Study of First-Year College Women

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3946692/#R47

Nonmarital romantic relationships and mental health in early adulthood: does the association differ for women and men?

https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/20617757/

Risky Business: Is There an Association between Casual Sex and Mental Health among Emerging Adults?

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7871523/

Psychological distress and risky sexual behaviours among women aged 16–25 years in Victoria, Australia

https://www.racgp.org.au/afp/2017/december/psychological-distress-and-risky/#ref-4

[–]PM_ME_YOUR_FRESH_NUT0 points 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]DoppelGangHer880 points 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]PM_ME_YOUR_FRESH_NUT0 points 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

There is not sufficient data to show that promiscuity is the cause of these negative effects (not that all those effects listed are negative). The problem is assuming correlation equals causation when every source I’ve read always admits that there are multiple other variables that could be a cause for both promiscuous sex and the negatives.

If a lot of people looked up and thought the sky was green then we would need to find out why instead of assuming they’re wrong because you look up and see blue. Plenty of people are promiscuous then have long happy relationships, and plenty of virgin couples breakdown when they realise they never really considered others might be better for them.

Regardless of this, judging individuals based on statistics is extremely close minded and will end with you misjudging tons of people.

[–]DoppelGangHer881 point 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

According to what metric, because data and studies show that promiscuous sex leads to increased risk of abortion, unwanted pregnancies, out of wedlock births and STDs. All of those things are directly caused by promiscuous sex. As well as being common symptoms of personality and substance use disorders, which I already said was indicative not causal; illustrating that it is dysgenic, unhealthy behavior.

"Plenty of people are promiscuous then have long happy relationships, and plenty of virgin couples breakdown when they realise they never really considered others might be better for them." The data doesn't show that, what does "plenty" mean because the data shows that the more promiscuous sex you have the lower chance you have of having a long, happy marriage. The burden of proof is now upon you.

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[–]DoppelGangHer880 points 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Promiscuous is defined as having or being characterized by many transient sexual relationships. Wouldn't you guess that it would be much more likely a pregnancy would be unwanted if it was caused by a casual fling than a serious relationship? Would you guess that it would be more likely for you to catch a sexually-transmitted disease from many transient partners than having monogamous sex within a relationship? After the advent of sexual education in public schools in the 60s, transmission of STDs and sex among young adults and adolescents went up not down, so again, please cite your source.

Immorality is a moral judgement; I said science helps inform judgements not that it bestows an objective standard. Things being "automatically true" isn't the standard most people use when weighing the risks of getting involved with a person or activity. They use past behavior or probabilities based on what's happened before and what they know about the person or situation to gauge whether or not it would be good idea to engage and thus acceptable or unacceptable. You're perfectly able to have as much random sex as you want but there are consequences for that behavior, and part of those consequences are social; because depending on how recklessly you've behaved, most people will judge that you most likely have bad judgement based on your past behavior and wouldn't be a good partner.

That judgement isn't arbitrary, it's based on cultural, social, scientific and practical knowledge of the physical and psychosocial dangers of promiscuity.

[–]PM_ME_YOUR_FRESH_NUT1 point 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

What is the difference in casual sex vs sex in a relationship that increases the chance of unwanted pregnancy?

Yes I would guess that it is more likely to catch an STI if you engage in casual sex, but as with anything that is fun we accept the risks and take precautions to prevent them. If someone isn't taking those precautions the we would criticize them for not taking the precautions, we shouldn't criticize them for engaging in the act. For example, we probably should criticize people for riding bikes without helmets, but it's a little silly to criticize people for riding bikes just because there are risks involved.

As for the STI - low education correlation, sure here's a source: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3349441/

I don't know what study you're citing that shows the rates of STI's going up after the advent of sex education in the 60's, but I would bet you $100 that they have a non-significant correlation. It is more likely that the rates of young adult sex was going up due to the time period, which naturally carries with it a higher number of STI's. Unless I'm misunderstanding you and you don't actually think that sex education causes rates of STI's to go up?

"They use past behavior or probabilities based on what's happened before
and what they know about the person or situation to gauge whether or not
it would be good idea to engage and thus acceptable or unacceptable." - yeah these are called Heuristics and often lead people to massively misjudge situations.

There *can* be risks to promiscuous behavior, but there doesn't necessarily *have* to be. One of those risks is social, as you mentioned, but I am arguing that there shouldn't be as there's nothing inherently wrong with having multiple sexual partners. There are non-reckless ways to have casual sex, just as there are non reckless ways to drink alcohol or race cars.

And lastly, there have only been correlations made between multiple casual sexual partners and the negatives you put foward, no causation has been established.

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[–]sushixdd0 points 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Explained my math above. Will try again. Assume Im a woman with no interest in relationships and still enjoy sex. I find a ONS every 2 months. Is having sex once in 2 months too much in your opinion? Cause that adds up to roughly 58 partners in 10 years of being sexually active.

"Be the damaged goods everyone fucks just to get a need fulfilled" - Does this in your opinion imply that one party has sex to fulfill their needs, while the other gets damaged in the process? Is this how you think the sex works? Where the hell does this implication of "damaged goods" even come from?

Of course sex feels good and makes you validated and desired. Almost everyone has sex for these reasons - reproduction has not been the only purpose of sex for some time now. This applies to relationships as well as fwb, ons, etc.

"The part about pair bonding being lost, STDs and an almost biological disgust factor is just icing on the cake." - What are you even talking about? Why would you lose the pair bonding? STDs are nowadays perfectly detectable and preventable. Biological disgust? For having sex statistically less than once in a month?

Would love to come where does your opinion come from.

[–]manbro73 points 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

About the theoretical situation, Ok, I imagine a woman fucking almost the whole street and now she suddenly wants to date. If they had no interest in relationships and did ONSs, why suddenly defend that viewpoint and make others who are not promiscious accept you? Is time running out? You know they wrote this out right. From the cock carousel straight into finding a provider rich male when the vaggy zone and face beauty starts rotting hopefully only figuratively. That's the fear of promiscuous women. That's why the backlash, and the supporting simp men army.

You say almost everyone has sex just for validation and to feel desired? No.

And no, hoes will never be viable partners. I know my values and live by them. I don't dwell in a pit of regret and weird rationalizations to cope with my past decisions. I don't feel worried about the time passing or whether I'm damaged or undesirable to anyone due to my past decisions. Someone who didn't have any of my values don't align with me to begin with. They made their decisions, they're not entitled to being accepted with fucking around if that's not the guy's values.

[–]sushixdd0 points 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Noone is making you accept anyone. You can turn down anyone for any reason, relationships, intimacy and all this shit is still based on consent in modern countries, as far as I know. If you decide to specify a reason to decline someone, you can expect reactions as other people have the same freedoms as you have. Just as you can imply a woman having ons once every 2 months is a whore, I'm free to imply that you're just insecure. In democracy, prettymuch every opinion goes, no matter if it's dumb or not. About the "rich provider" point, that's just reaching from you. Sure, it could be the case. Just like it doesn't have to be, since she herself claims she has a decent job. Like sure, you can always have more, lie, whatever, but these are just assumptions as we don't have the facts.

"You say almost everyone has sex just for validation and to feel desired? No." - This is literally just you replacing words from shit I say, creating a whole new sentence that says literally something completely different and then answer it. You know what you're doing, I know it, everybody knows it. I wont even bother breaking that down.

"I don't feel worried about the time passing or whether I'm damaged or undesirable to anyone due to my past decisions." - On what is based this assumption that having sex damages you? I asked similar question before, you didn't answer - why?

[–]unluckyparadox1 point 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

I think that’s a massive misconception, running through 58 dudes in 9 years very likely means she never actually learned to be good at sex.

People who run through one night stands at that rate tend to act like their limp body in bed is the prize, and then shift the blame onto the guy for not pleasuring her properly.

It takes time with a partner to truly learn the extent of how your body reacts and what it takes to make it pleasurable for both parties.

It’s one of the worst parts about the game these days, cause there are many women who talk like they’re pornstars because they got the mileage, but they’re absolutely awful in bed because they believe that they know what they’re doing.

If I had to put money on it, this girl has infinitely worse technique than a girl with only 20-30+ partners by 27.

You don’t run through 58 people and not find one to keep fucking unless you treat them all as disposable, which means she likely wouldn’t have the experience with one person more than 3-5 times.

As a dude with a considerable count, I avoid people with that kind of pace because they tend to be infinitely worse than virgins in bed. At least virgins will attempt to get pleasure from the experience, but these hoes will disdainfully act like a dead fish and if you do make them cum they get frustrated before becoming excessively distant.

A hoe with that kind of pace is no fucking pornstar, she’s gonna be more like a body pillow than someone actually dedicated to getting pleasure from sexual contact. To people like that, they think that making others chase is better than the sex cause they never let anyone close enough emotionally to truly teach them sexual contact.

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I know it sounds like complete bs, cause the mindset behind it is absolute bullshit, but you’d be surprised how many of these “promiscuous” women actually fall in that category to a tee.

It’s not a commonality, but that’s how those with a real distain for pair bonding end up acting.

Ask a lesbian, you might be surprised to learn that those exact moves are the modus operandi for a solid 1/10th of sexually active women.

It’s an addiction to being placed on a pedestal, that many women claim as sexual, in order to seem as if they know what they’re doing.

I’m sure men would end up doing exactly the same dead fish shit if being chased and then rode was the norm. It only happens because getting sex is easy for women, so there is never going to be the drastic need to perform like what you’re doing could be broadway worthy. When you’re just doing it to watch and diss these performances to your girls, getting caught by the one who can make you cum will upset you because it makes the cycle of kicking these men out suddenly feel like a waste of time. Which in turn leads them to try and prove their cycle to be right, instead of finally taking the door they opened that day.

That kind of experience is not one everyone will be witness to, but as a man, you should be very aware cause that type of woman exists and absolutely likes to hurt feelings for fun. It doesn’t matter how hard you try to show them that what’s going on is a self destructive behavior, by that point confirmation bias lets women like that, ride the cycle to a depressed cat lady with burnt bridges where her friendships were.

That shit is depressing, but for many, it’s surprisingly life.

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Of course. Because men and women are not symmetrical. If a man is capable enough to have a high body count, he has physical and financial qualities that qualifies him to attract most women. These men are rare. An adult virgin guy struggling to date is the least attractive in dating sexual market.

Whereas a woman with high body count doesn't have to qualify for most men to have sex with them. Being a commodity is less valuable than being rare.

Most men aren't in a position to select partners based on their preferences. They have to go with what is the best option available to them.

So, a man with high body count is called stud not because he has sex with many women but because he has achieved a certain level of status in society as a consequence of which he gets access to date many women.

Women are free to choose virgins, they don't get women and they don't care about high body count.

But you will see that majority of the complaints on the internet are about those rare men who have the ability to choose.

Do men complain about how they can't earn like women on OnlyFans or don't get high Instagram followers like beautiful women do or don't get to go in a club for free? Double standards seem to be fine as long as it doesn't benefit men.

The problem with people who point out this double standard is they symmetrically compares standards of men and women and point out those standards that benefit only men.

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I used to thibk like you do, and I had a gf explain that same idea you have to me and it made complete sense…because you too can go out and have sex with women if you want, problem is that you do t wanna have sex with every woman you see, some are not attractive to you.

She explained it like this…let’s say you go to a bar and there are ten guys there, out of those ten you find 6 attractive, out of those six 2 have a gf, now you have 4, out of those 4, two have bad personalities or are rude, or give you creep vibes, now you are left two. But here’s the deal, those two might not thibk you are attractive, or you are not their type, so there’s is maybe, out of ten guys 1, maybe two guys that you actually can have sex with.

Just because a woman can have sex with most men doesn’t mean she wants to actually have sex with them…just like you don’t wanna have sex with ever single woman you see. If you had no standard you could go to the bar and find any woman as well, but you do t want any woman, you want one that turns you on, or you find attractive.

It’s not as simple as you think for a woman to hook up with a dude. They also need to think of their safety, some men might push their boundaries and that woman may find herself in a situation where her safety is compromised.

Think about it, it only seems like a woman can pick up any guy, when I’m reality, they can’t.

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[–]Da1Don951 point 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

I see what you are trying to say, that women are more picky than men. But you are forgetting 2 important factors. We are talking about promiscuity and people that want to be promiscuous men and women. Unlike your analogy where there are only 20 vegan dishes in the steak house in reality someone who is promiscuous will go to other restaurants and continuously find more options available to them. Keep in mind unlike your analogy with a very limited options she wants, in reality there 4 billion men to wittle down and chose from in the world so a promiscuous woman will always have options. I.e to top it off in all these restaurants all the dishes (including meat- the ones she doesnt want) are available to them whereas for men they want most of the menu but the restaurants only serves them depending on their reputation (attractiveness), with the vast majority of men being offered a couple or NO dishes at all

Women have more access to sexual partners than men. Ironically you have proven that by saying women are more picky than men which means men (apart from a small percentage) have less options given to ghem

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It’s way more prevalent and socially accepted for women to be slut shamed while men get celebrated for it. It’s the societal norm. You’re talking about an exception like it’s a rule.

It’s different because a woman would experience this 100 times more than a man and as you can tell from this post, (assuming it’s real) it is having a huge impact on her well being.

It’s so rare for a man, I have never even heard of it happening in real life. If it did, it would be a rare, one time thing.

And any (lmao) “Californian Feminist,” I know wouldn’t give two shits how many women a dude has slept with, and would expect to be treated with the same respect. It would be more common for a woman not to date a smoker or someone who drinks soda. That’s some west coast shit that has actually happened.

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Title	Being a hoe has it's consequences
Author	Decariel
Upvotes	2810
Comments	2084
Date	July 26, 2022 12:42 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PussyPassDenied
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/pussypassdenied/comments/w85bdg/being_a_hoe_has_its_consequences/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PussyPassDenied/being-a-hoe-has-its-consequences.1124816 https://theredarchive.com/post/1124816

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