Majority of men don't show up for child support hearings.

NockerJoe · 2021-11-17T03:18:33+00:00

Thats just court lmao. I remember waiting in a courthouse waiting room once with one other guy and we both got called in. The guy who was suing me didn't even show up to his own trial and the guy I was waiting with had the same thing happen to him. Of all 4 parties I was the only guy who even filed any paperwork ahead of time.

I dunno what it is about judges that make people dip, but this is somehow the norm for basically all legal cases where there isn't major companies involved.

ivy176 · 2021-11-17T16:05:46+00:00

Its kinda like when men on reddit say men hardly ever get custody but like men don't commonly try to get full time custody

FitNovember · 2021-11-17T09:02:46+00:00

It means a lot to the kids when their dads show up and say they want to see their kids. Why is it so easy for men to walk away from their children? If I didn’t have custody of my kids, I’d live as close as possible to my kids and let my ex know that I was available any time if needed. I would ask if I could drop the kids off at school in the mornings or pick them up in the afternoons—anything to be a part of their lives. I would think any parent would want their kids to know that they can count on them.

pearllovespink · 2021-11-17T16:05:17+00:00

Be careful. There’s always a shit storm when men are held accountable on here.

poppy_blu · 2021-11-17T04:56:24+00:00

What’s far more significant is that in the vast majority of cases, it never even makes it to court.

91% of custody decisions do not require the family court to decide.

Men in the aggregate do not want custody.

HedgeRunner · 2021-11-17T03:08:40+00:00

You should look at how many men do actually end up paying for child support even if by ethically equality standards they may not have to.

Actions speak louder than words.

AquaChip · 2021-11-17T08:04:11+00:00

That’s the funny little detail men’s “rights” activists love to leave out. That stat AND the fact that 95% of child care decisions between divorced parents are settled outside of court. That’s why you have to zone them out. They’re just trying to make up things to be oppressed about at this point.

bilged · 2021-11-17T16:27:58+00:00

This is just an example of selection bias. You'd see the same thing if you looked at cases where the father was seeking child support. You also see it in every other kind of official civil proceedings like traffic court. People who wind up at that point without lawyers tend to be poor and irresponsible. Surprise, surprise.

ThatGirl50 · 2021-11-17T21:22:41+00:00

Well wining a custody case would mean men have to actually take care of their kids, which, LOL

Flightlessbirbz · 2021-11-17T03:56:01+00:00

Doesn’t surprise me. Most men also don’t seek custody and yet MRAs act like it’s all women’s or the court system’s fault they don’t often get it. I’m not saying the courts are always fair to men in these cases, I do believe they favor mothers to some extent. But the stats don’t tell the whole story. And don’t even get me started on men who worry about having to pay child support but won’t wrap it up.

HoneyNJ2000 · 2021-11-17T13:20:20+00:00

...In my county, 75% of the men didn't show up.

Well gosh and golly, what a shocker.

Not.

-WolfieMcq · 2021-11-17T05:27:54+00:00

The guy was certainly there when the kids were made. It would be great if they werent automatically innocent of all wrong doing. The woman is handed the children when the guy walks out and is somehow supposed to magically make a living and support everybody. Why are men always seen as innocent?

I-wanna-GO-FAST · 2021-11-17T06:40:40+00:00

I have first and second hand experience with how fucked up family courts are toward men, me with my parents and my brother with his kids. The mother defaults on custody, and the ones involved in my experience say crazy shit to get what they want and get back at the father. Wouldn't surprise if most fathers don't show up just so they can get as far away from that mess as possible.

But yeah okay sure, fathers stay away from family courts because they hate their kids, not because of a systemic bias against them.

NoMarriageNoKids · 2021-11-17T03:50:21+00:00

I've been to court many times over this. It's a racket. Family court is a hostile place if you have a penis.

LotBuilder · 2021-11-17T04:38:39+00:00

In my state it is a simple math equation. It is what it is, there isn’t much to argue about. You pay it or go to jail.

The system is really fair. If a woman can’t provide for her children the state steps in and gives her money, free housing, free food and free childcare. If a man can’t provide for his kids he goes to jail.

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WhoRoger · 2021-11-17T12:02:54+00:00

Hm what happens if neither parent shows up for the hearing?

BannedAccountNumber5 · 2021-11-17T23:43:46+00:00

If true, this entirely on us. But I'd say if your not gonna even bother showing up for a child supporting hearing, you probably aren't fit be the guardian anyway.

Laytheblameonluck · 2021-11-17T05:16:37+00:00

Have really worked in law?

And the men blame the women and "the system" for child support.

Those that do go, do blame the system.

RDelbson · 2021-11-17T03:42:51+00:00

Low-value women get impregnated by low-value men, more at 11.

zyramain69 · 2021-11-17T03:10:29+00:00

Just because women get knocked up by men that don't want the kid, why are men that actually wanted their kids punished for it?

EstablishmentKooky50 · 2021-11-17T04:31:19+00:00

Can you prove that the men who didn't show up are the same men who "complain years later"?

Also, the blame usually goes against the system, not against women.. Usually...

DevilishRogue · 2021-11-17T13:51:43+00:00

If you know you are going to get shafted what difference does turning up make?

UEMcGill · 2021-11-17T13:15:21+00:00

I'm affraid you maybe suffering from confirmation bias.

75% of cases don't show up to court.

What percentage of total cases does that represent? How many settle out of court through arbitration? I'm doing great in life. If I got divorced tomorrow, most of that stuff would be handled by lawyers in conference rooms. The state of NY has guidelines based on total kids and income up to a certain point. So for everyones benefit we shouldn't go to court.

Conversely NY has minimum amount for low income fathers. Which I would bet getting a default judgement is easier than losing a day of pay to get told the same info.

I don't doubt your number, but I do doubt your assessment.

Estarossa86 · 2021-11-17T11:13:50+00:00

Stats for a lot of these claims are sorely missing shame to see because the talks here are very interesting as well

xFallacyx69 · 2021-11-17T12:59:49+00:00

There’s a lot of different angles to this.

Perhaps ALL men who don’t show up are pieces of garbage who don’t want to be a part of their kids lives. Half-Solution: don’t have kids with deadbeats (or guys you aren’t married to). Vet better. He doesn’t want anything to do with you or the baby. It’s attempted Financial abortion. His wallet, his attempt at a choice.
A subset of men who don’t show up already know (or think) that the courts heavily favor the women, and therefore don’t want to waste their time in a kangaroo court.

3? My dad actually spent TONS of time and money fighting for just half custody when my parents split. He had a stable job, a masters, helped my mom earn her bachelors when we were old enough to be left alone, did all of the housework, picked us up from practice, etc… guess who won 90% custody? Mom with no job, no drive, and who all of her kids DIDN’T want to spend time with. Would you consider that a just and fair court system?

ToughAnswers · 2021-11-17T04:45:29+00:00

Opt outs, or ban abortion

Taste_of_Based · 2021-11-17T13:37:13+00:00

I paid $30k fighting to have equal time with my kids and was willing to get child-support raped to do it and I lost simply because of judges personal opinions for separating kids from their dads.

Now I pay money to my ex and there is absolutely no requirement that she spend a cent of it on the kids.

Ugandabekiddingme2 · 2021-11-17T04:04:22+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Ugandabekiddingme2 · 2021-11-17T17:12:55+00:00

And I noticeably remember the amount of men who didn't show up for their child support hearing. In my county, 75% of the men didn't show up.

No idea what country you are from.

Are the guys complaining, part of this 75%.

Are the 75% who complain part of the guys who are complaining.

I think if a guy has a kid, he has responsibility. And yeah, if he does a runner, he is a peice of human shit.

But I do think that if a guy actually wants custody and loses it, after trying. Well he has a right to be angry.

But its OK I get it, men should be robots and have no emotions.

BetaSoyAlphaRoy · 2021-11-17T18:37:54+00:00

Well I am fightin for the ones who do!

Nineite · 2021-11-17T19:23:30+00:00

I'll make the guess (and this is only a guess), that something like 95% of the guys who would ever need to go to a child support hearing are terrified and confused - specifically of the court.

I'm not saying this is effortless or good for the women - I know it isn't. Best case would be to not be in court in the first place.

I'm suggesting that a lot of the guys who get these summons don't understand what they're holding, and don't have anyone to translate it for them. They may well assume that everything is already done or that they would just immediately be sent to jail.

Remember the EULA you have to accept for everything online that not even Lawyers actually read? That same thing happens with physical letters too, it's just scarier.

fwoketrash · 2021-11-17T20:48:25+00:00

If you think you're not going to get a fair hearing why show up?

You didn't say what country, but if it was somewhere in the west I wouldn't bother.

Women show up because they are generally better at:

- following the "rules"

- kissing up to the state for benefits

- using the state to do their dirty work for them

So of course they show up. If they ditched their husband the government is their husband now and the don't want to disappoint him!

Perseus_the_Bold · 2021-11-17T22:02:51+00:00

You just don't get it.

From men's point of view the issue is not on whether or not he can defend his livelihood in a biased court of law that is already holding him accountable and guilty before he ever sets foot in that damned place. The whole issue is that the concept of Child Support exists in the first place!

Men are held accountable for women's choices, THAT is the issue here. Men do not choose to be fathers. Women and only women have that legal freedom/right/privilege and choice in life. Women should not have the right to make a man into a gather anymore than a man has the right to make a woman into a mother against her will. THAT is the issue!

So excuse us if we do not wanna hear that bullshit about accountability from the gender-class who has none!

My uncle showed up to court and it did not do him fuck-all any good that he was not earning a living wage for himself that they still decided to penalize him basically for life with child support functionally making him homeless. That is how you end up with so many men working outside the formal market for cash under the table if they know every fucking wage they will ever earn is going to be skimmed and given to a woman who decided to have a child. And don't give me any shit about "it takes two to procreate" because this is the 21st century! Giving birth is 100% a choice and an entitlement for women and only for women. Men still have zero rights in this subject.

TheBookOfSeil · 2021-11-18T00:01:20+00:00

Soooo what happens when men do show up? Don't they have to plead their case because women are still considered the default custodial parent?

herefortheparty01 · 2021-11-18T00:46:10+00:00

It’s true

EdwardCircumcizehand · 2021-11-18T02:19:57+00:00

I like how usually a sub that always asks for sources suddenly does not

healththrow345 · 2021-11-18T07:50:49+00:00

Not surprised. I've seen this stat often.

Bergensis · 2021-11-18T11:39:56+00:00

but remember my stint working for the court system.

And I noticeably remember the amount of men who didn't show up for their child support hearing. In my county, 75% of the men didn't show up.

This is anecdotal. This is about what you remember. You didn't choose a large number of hearings at random, record how many men and women showed up and then repeat the process dozens of times at different locations at different times. Why are you treating this as settled science when it's just your memory?

They complain years later on to friends, to strangers on RedPill, FSDRedpill, etc., when the person they should have complained to was the judge when they were given their day in court.

How do you know that the men complaining were the men not showing up? Have you been stalking them all?

Puzzleheaded-Lab-165 · 2021-11-18T19:05:21+00:00

Don’t ask men why were you not in your children’s lives, but ask why did the mother make it so difficult for the father to be in his children’s lives.

welcometothejl · 2021-11-17T09:44:40+00:00

I think about this a lot, and I have figured out a way that will probably get men to show up. Rig the system so that they will mostly win, like it is with women now. Basically speaking, if they get paid to show up, they'll show up. If they have to pay to show up, why bother?

bilberberbers · 2021-11-17T09:48:55+00:00

Only loser women get knocked up by guys they're not 100% sure will back them forever intimately and financially.

Marriages are more stable than the loser women here like to admit. There are huge swathes of people who have stable lifelong marriages, because the women don't choose loser men.

If you don't choose your partner from literally the bottom 3% of men, you won't have this issue. Simple as.

Puzzleheaded-Lab-165 · 2021-11-17T11:17:49+00:00

They believe the system is rigged against men so they don’t show up. I showed up was involved in my kids lives but now I pay child support and never see them

old_wise_man_ · 2021-11-17T14:37:33+00:00

If I was a divorced parent, I would only go for 100%. Wouldn’t accept less. It is 100% or nothing.

abaxeron · 2021-11-17T09:45:34+00:00

What were the results of those who did show up?

when the person they should have complained to was the judge when they were given their day in court.

How many of those who did show up complained and got the desired result?

DeJuanBallard · 2021-11-17T15:56:01+00:00

Didn't want to be with you and the baby won't change that. Now ur a single parent.

t-D7 · 2021-11-17T18:40:42+00:00

why should chad, badboy, fboy show up? thats the men women choose. vet better.

Title	Majority of men don't show up for child support hearings.
Author	Ugandabekiddingme2
Upvotes	163
Comments	489
Date	November 17, 2021 3:00 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/qvpc9f/majority_of_men_dont_show_up_for_child_support/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/majority-of-men-dont-show-up-for-child-support.1083716 https://theredarchive.com/post/1083716

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