Women more prone to express disgust and take offense when a guy perceived as "below their league" shows any kind of interest

ThrowRA-Two448 · 2025-04-27T09:49:45+00:00

I would describe it as covert bragging, a self-promotion in which person avoids directly describing their value... insecure women do this a lot...

What insecure woman really wants is for everyone too see that she was approached by that guy, and she rejected him, but it can't come out as bragging.

So insecure women will repack it as something else, something presentable.

When insecure woman is being approached, she might stir up drama to draw attention to the situation, so everyone gets to see her rejection.

But lets say guy is messaging her, so this approach is happening in private. Never had a woman pull out her phone and say "Oh my God this guy is so annoying look at all these messages where he is hitting on me" if guy was really annoying she could easily block him, instead she is collecting material to be used for self promotion.

And now Tik-Tok videos of women which are "outraged" that these low value men even dare to think they have a chance with them.

Insecure men do this as well but men are supposed to be stoic, so men can't fake outrage or disgust for being approached. Also humiliating a low value woman for approaching you => other women become way more anxious about approaching. So guys reject much more politely, then come up with ways to covert brag, or even brag directly.

Where both genders do actually feel offended is when friend tries to hook us up with somebody of low value.

Because low value person approaching us, that can be taken as that person having inflated sense of value, or that person trying to shoot up.

But when friend tries to hook us up with a low value person, then friend considers us to be of low value, or is intentionally trying to lower our value (not a real friend).

Cutiee_Salmon · 2025-04-27T06:45:01+00:00

I guess it's due to the fact that conventionally attractive men only show interest to conventionally attractive women. And it becomes unflattering for a woman that all her pursuers/suitors are all unattractive for her. It feels like she isn't really pretty but just attractive enough for them. That's just my take.

Icyfemboy · 2025-04-27T06:49:41+00:00

I think this applies to women who don’t get approached very often or have a hard time dating in general so they’re unsure about their place in the dating market and an ugly person approaching them confirms their worst fears. If a woman is highly attractive I don’t think she’d feel disgust or at least not at the same level since she’s likely already secure about her place in the dating market.

ruthpalo · 2025-04-27T23:31:26+00:00

I've said this same thing in a nutshell - as a guy who's unattractive, I've noticed that girls will often react as if a fat, ugly guy being interested in them somehow makes them feel like they're unattractive. which, of course, is utterly irrational. I also have perceived, as a guy who's fascinated and fixated on all this gender/sexual politics shit, that a lot of girls, even/especially those who have submissive leanings (which is virtually all cishet women lol) get an almost sexual pleasure from rejecting/mocking/humiliating guys they deem physically off-putting, for so many reasons (height, weight, "confidence" levels, style, status, job, wealth, stoicism levels, athleticism levels etc.

just_a_place · 2025-04-27T08:02:16+00:00

I gotta confess I have been feeling the same way lately whenever women flirt or attempt to flirt with me.

I don't feel disgust, I just feel insulted, like "who the fuck do you think you are that you think I'll just fucking go along with your wiles?" I never had this issue when I was younger. I was normal as hell where any time women gave me that kind of attention I just felt flattered, lately it just fucking annoys me and even pisses me off. I'm probably just getting old.

I don't feel the same way when ugly, fat, or older women just play-flirt with me, I take it as just banter when they obviously don't mean for it to actually go anywhere. I only feel insulted when hot women do it. That fucking entitlement pisses me off, like they're so used to these piece of shit simps just bending over backwards for them they think I'm a fucking chump or a clown just like them.

So I don't think it's only women who are reacting negatively to being approached.

Joey-Ramone_ · 2025-04-27T14:59:15+00:00

their disgust when a guy perceived as below them shoots his shot, they take it as a offense

This is a very real thing, but why?

No one is saying they have to give the guy a shot, you're allowed to reject him so why aren't they flattered?

SurroundWide447 · 2025-04-27T12:54:00+00:00

I used to be in the pickup community and these reactions are honestly really rare. Then again, when I was heavy into it, I was sociable even outside of women so it was never that bad, I often times just stayed and chatted for a bit.

More recently, even really pretty women are nice about it during the day time. I'm not the best looking right now, I've gained some weight and stuff. At bars and clubs, they can be very mean LOL but that's just the nature of those environments. High value women aren't going to be rude like that.

I do think at some point a woman can wonder what is going on if all she gets approached by is average to below average men. The issue is (and this is well acknowledged in the pickup community) really good looking guys are often times the ones that don't want to do the approaching because of ego. Whereas the other men need to approach and work on that skillset to get ahead of the dating market. So many times I'll be hanging with handsome men and they're huge cowards when it comes to approaching women because they'll get rejected too.

BobtheArcher2018 · 2025-04-27T13:24:57+00:00

It's a hit to her status that a guy below her league would think she might be in his. Showing obvious contempt to brand him as deluded or crazy reaffirms her level in the eyes of her peers. It's part of female intersexual competition. It's basic and primal. Could list many things men do for intersexual competition that seem similarly silly or mean spirited.

Reasonable_Style8214 · 2025-04-27T08:04:07+00:00

What's funny is that unattractive guys shooting their short with conventionally attractive women is the direct result of women gaslighting men about looks - like, if you were honest about how you view unattractive guys, he'd know his place and wouldn't assume that he has a chance with you to begin with.

champion_azure · 2025-04-27T11:19:10+00:00

Yes, in general.

But the expressions of disgust, the summoning of white knights to issue a kerb stomping, and the general insults aren't necessarily a bad thing.

Sure they sting, cause severe mental trauma in some instances. But they teach you that you shouldn't be trying to be that flirty guy, that ain't you.

GoldSailfin · 2025-04-27T16:41:29+00:00

I don't get any of that on my algorithm so it's just your content scrolling.

autistic_midwit · 2025-04-27T11:00:35+00:00

Being a creep has nothing to do with your behavior and everything to do with how attractive you are.

flipsidetroll · 2025-04-27T18:54:24+00:00

Ok. Let’s break down your observations….

You notice it on posts, videos and blogs? So places where people are specifically looking for clicks and likes and shares? So, places where the extremes get the most attention? And you have no idea if it’s real or not? See the problem with that?

Then your bar tending days…. You say you wouldn’t be offended by someone beneath you, hitting on you. But then you literally contradict yourself by saying if YOU THOUGHT SHE WAS CUTE. So you don’t think she’s beneath you. See the problem with that?

Realistic-Ad-1023 · 2025-04-27T11:01:32+00:00

i mean, shit like that is out there but it isn’t like there’s not plenty of women that basically lay down their lives for broken men too

i think we extrapolate too much from one or two women into how all women are

you can validly have someone treat you like shit without it meaning that their entire half of the population is at fault for it

i’ve always felt like that was the most uncomfortable part of these discussions when women were involved in them because “patriarchy”, “toxic masculinity”, etc. can make you feel like there’s something wrong with you for being a male

and yet the more i comb through, the more i honestly get the impression that the boys are doing this worse than the girls

you can’t complain that all women think you’re creepy and yet also think they’re all just going to steal your (lack of) money

or that women are all overly offended and yet try to exclude them from male spaces because you… are offended

either we do the john wayne thing or we don’t

but it should just be consistent regardless

we can’t claim to be the logical sex and then be the pettiest and most sensitive things out there

one way or the other

DecisionPlastic9740 · 2025-04-27T15:22:28+00:00

Women see their relationship partner as a reflection of their own value. This is why they want the 666 high value guy. They want to make other women jealous of her. It makes sense that she would be offended if a low value man tries to approach.

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Werevulvi · 2025-04-28T13:58:39+00:00

It's more about attraction or lack thereof, imo. Whether the people someone thinks are attractive are in their league or not. And men are just as disgusted when a woman they think is unattractive is showing interest in them. I've gotten some really vile comments from men who thought I looked unattractive. Men are not shy from expressing disgust.

Appropriate-Mango385 · 2025-04-27T06:43:16+00:00

More odds, mate. More stats , numbers. Women get asked out more so of course there's plenty of this behavior to observe.

I'd argue your point may seem that way to you that's because negativity travels faster. A lot of guys are being let down nicely but that's hardly worth rage-baiting so we don't see it on the news.

I think as a woman the most important thing is we handle the rejection as kindly as possible without inciting any retaliation from his end, so the laughing the making fun of is something only a brave or stupid woman would do (seriously, I can't understand those types. That has to be an unhappy person).

I would say men and women are equally prone to be rude, this would be something that depends more on the nature of the person - whether they're a good person or a heartless jerk, than it does on their X and Y chromosomes.

Since women are the ones getting asked out usually, they're the ones doing most of the rejection so of course it would seem their bad rejections are more frequent, because overall their number of getting asked out it is.

I think if men had the same options as women there'd be an equal amount with this evil attitude as well.

Like I said it depends more on the person because it ultimately boils down to how you consider the feelings of other human beings.

rejected-again · 2025-04-27T08:47:46+00:00

This just goes to show how women lack empathy. Men would be flattered that an ugly women were interested in him even if he doesn't want to date her but women are more cruel in their treatment of ugly men.

No-Breath6663 · 2025-04-27T13:49:50+00:00

In reality women are very desperate for marriage and LTR, they tend to act this way towards men as a defense mechanism out of fear that these men will pump and dump them. They do have these ideas about their league, but those ideas are usually a way to cope with the fact that they're not actually that attractive.

wtknight · 2025-04-27T06:33:22+00:00

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Sharp_Engineering379 · 2025-04-27T08:35:23+00:00

Sure they aren’t simply annoyed by being cornered by an awkward stranger with who won’t leave without a response? Maybe it’s the approach.

Attractive people are just better at flirting and better with rejection.

Unattractive man with a serious face and heavy expectations of an audience approaches at an awkward moment: Hello there, do you have a boyfriend, can I have your number

Attractive man walks up grinning: What are you drinking? I’m not going to buy you one, I just think it looks good.

The first isn’t leaving without a response, the second one is just having fun. The cold approach is an annoying sales pitch, the second one is just harmless small talk from a man who isn’t going to linger if it falls flat.

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wtknight · 2025-04-27T06:36:51+00:00

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wardenferry419 · 2025-04-27T09:25:10+00:00

As Gump said, ¨stupid is as stupid does.¨ The same goes for many other elements of human behavior such as entitlement and self delusion. They either learn or they don`t. All you can do is shake your head and move on.

Manifestival1 · 2025-04-27T18:21:40+00:00

I don't understand what the debate should be about this. I've read and agree. I'm one of those who used to be repulsed by some of the men that would show interest but it hasn't really happened in the last 15 years since my self esteem has improved and I wouldn't even take a second look at someone not on my level. It might be helpful if you elaborate about your ideas around status.

Are you complaining about it?

PrideAndPotions · 2025-04-27T23:55:18+00:00

Your first couple of sentences say it all: it is a status thing to content producers. Because that is the content they are selling: faux status.

-Kalos · 2025-04-28T01:25:27+00:00

Maybe because those less attractive dudes are doing power plays rather than tweeting to make her feel good about him finding her attractive. Women aren't as obsessed with making power plays and actually compliment you. How you compliment someone makes a difference

SayuriKitsune · 2025-04-28T17:37:50+00:00

I never took offence, at all. I never thought its "who I attract". To me was more the case of some men having a big ego and thinking a bit much of themselves. Nothing to do with me.

Aggravating-Bat2788 · 2025-04-28T20:11:24+00:00

I can't blame them, I had a total lack of self-awareness the one time I asked out a young woman at work. I was overweight, had a terrible haircut, and she was gorgeous. Her negative response was more than warranted and taught me a valuable lesson.

RevacholAndChill · 2025-04-29T15:19:10+00:00

The disgust usually comes out of me when I'm simply "not in the market" and I'm not in a place where someone coming on to me is expected, like passed out on the bus and a strange guy groped me (the bus driver woke me up) or like when I was in the psych ward and a gross guy propositioned me. (That was the worst one).

If I'm at a sex dungeon or something, I'm not that bothered by people flirting with me, even if I say no I try to let people down gently.

addings0 · 2025-04-30T01:12:00+00:00

It's far too easy for women to get the ick. They put far more emphasis in undesirable traits, than the desirable ones.

Crop_Rotation_10 · 2025-05-01T01:35:43+00:00

I think their status is achieved by networking with high power men AND demonstrating rejection of lower power men.

They WANT to have a large pool of men that they can point to and say “look at all the lower people I’ve rejected”

Abject-Sky4608 · 2025-05-01T20:33:11+00:00

On the flip side, struggling guys often come off as too desperate, clingy, weird or even hostile. A woman might overlook these traits in a rich or handsome guy but that doesn’t make the behavior ever attractive.

Striking_Swing_6521 · 2025-05-02T21:45:03+00:00

As somebody who Is relatively attractive I honestly do find it offensive when undesirable men approach me with the assumption I'd be interested in them. It's genuinely repulsive and makes me wonder what give's them such gall in the first place.

PotentialPainting8 · 2025-05-03T16:50:01+00:00

Anyone who would do this, man or woman, is a small minded mean person. Its a gross sweeping generalization to lump this in the camp of most women. That's just not true. People who would do this are unattractive, regardless of how physically handsome or beautiful.

Fun-Guava-4645 · 2025-05-04T00:37:32+00:00

so are men

chobolicious88 · 2025-04-27T10:35:38+00:00

Hypergamy basically?

FeelingCalendar9231 · 2025-04-27T16:50:52+00:00

I don’t think most women really find it disgusting. They just reject the guy. It may be disgusting if the guy actually insists, which if they guy was better looking instead the guy could pull them that way. They will bash the guy if they find a justification, but they won’t about outright be disgusted just by the guy expressing interest. I disagree. Most women aren’t like that.

jay10033 · 2025-04-27T20:10:27+00:00

Women want men who other women want. That simple. Regardless of what people may say here, the men they attract continue to be one of the most powerful barometers of their attractiveness.

Vikklee · 2025-04-27T13:19:54+00:00

Women are taught from a young age that their worth ties to what men think of them.

“Be kind, men like that”

Disney princesses all acting the same (docile, gentle, beautiful, not very opinionated) and therefore getting the prince

While boys were fighting eachother on the playground, adults were asking young girls about boys or calling us “heartbreakers”

Movies and TV often only depicted female characters in relation to male characters. (The best example for me is Padme from Star Wars. Beautiful, gentle, kind, not very opinionated, and her character development surrounds only the male characters in her story)

It’s hard not to think of the male attention we receive as some kind of “gauge” for how well we have fulfilled our purpose, when that’s all we have been told all our lives.

G4M35 · 2025-04-27T09:15:51+00:00

LOL, believe everything you see on Social Media.

They are amplifying things for shock value to gather eyeballs.

Same for traditional media.

Regardless, what if you are correct? What does it change knowing it since you can't alter/control it?

bluehorserunning · 2025-04-27T23:22:59+00:00

Because men will interrupt anything and demand attention at any time. Excuse you, random stranger man who sent a bolt of electricity down my arm by grabbing me out of nowhere?! No, telling me I look good does not make that ok. Excuse you, literally gangrenous patient asking for my phone number at work? No, I do not have relationships with patients.

DXBrigade · 2025-04-27T12:30:45+00:00

All types of men approach women, however only attractive women approach men. Reaction on social media are very exagerrated. Personally, I am bothered by much older men making moves on me but I am NEVER rude.

weenieandthebutt · 2025-04-27T13:08:41+00:00

Let's be honest, us men are like this too but to a lesser extent. The lesser extent being that if we got hit on by a fattie, we wouldn't be downright rude or hostile about it but I would feel a bit insulted.

You said it yourself that you'd feel flattered if the 40 year old woman looked good. Now imagine what your visceral reaction would be if she was a minger.

Flightlessbirbz · 2025-04-27T13:10:16+00:00

Well, older women usually only hit on younger guys who are attractive, so it is seen as a compliment. They usually are also more just playful and flirty vs actually implying that it should go somewhere. But how about women their age who are obese/ugly pursuing them? From what I’ve seen, men really do not care for this they same way they may like being flirted with by a “cougar.”

I mean you are talking about a “40 yr old girl who looked good.” No guy has an issue if she looks good.

RecognitionSoft9973 · 2025-04-27T14:51:34+00:00

Only if they have high standards

attendquoi · 2025-04-27T15:32:07+00:00

The more disgusted I act, the less likely the guy is to think I'm playing hard to get. If y'all would learn to take "no" for an answer, I wouldn't have to be a bitch about it.

Fik_456 · 2025-04-27T20:02:13+00:00

I personally believe older women are more worth it than girl's my age. They have something that just makes me feel safe and secure in their presence.

Knighthonor · 2025-04-28T01:42:03+00:00

its because women control access to sex, not men. So women making the first move is like gold coming to a gold miner without having to swing the pick.

Lightinthebottle7 · 2025-04-28T07:53:59+00:00

You should probably get less information about this from tiktok.

GGMcThroway · 2025-04-27T16:00:56+00:00

Men express disgust to "unworthy" women who show interest by tearing into them and making a show of it.

Lucky for men, most women put some kind of effort into their appearance - so men can at least put them in the category of "slampig" and call it a day. But women who are so ugly that it would lower a man's status to be associated with them are afforded no such kindness.

Title	Women more prone to express disgust and take offense when a guy perceived as "below their league" shows any kind of interest
Author	Crazy_Kray
Upvotes	257
Comments	333
Date	April 27, 2025 6:25 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1k8xfoz/women_more_prone_to_express_disgust_and_take/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/women-more-prone-to-express-disgust-and-take.1550754 https://theredarchive.com/post/1550754

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