Do you feel any empathy for men?

szunday · 2026-01-29T07:25:43+00:00

I genuinely feel a lot of empathy for men. We live in a society that teaches men to always be strong and emotionally restrained, where crying or complaining is often seen as a weakness. From my experience talking to men online, it’s surprising how quickly some of them open up. Even men who seem closed off at first begin to share when I gently ask and truly listen. Many of them end up crying and thanking me, simply because they’ve never had someone really listen to or support them. It’s not that their male friends don’t care, but men often approach emotions through logic, so the way they express empathy can be very different from women.

One time, I met a random guy through a game who told me about his messy relationship. His girlfriend thought he was too busy with work and didn’t make time for her. In reality, he was working so much because he had to support his family while his father was sick. And who could he talk to about that? His girlfriend didn’t understand, and his male friends just told him to “find another girl,” without trying to understand the deeper situation. So when he finally met someone who genuinely listened, everything came out. That experience made me even more empathetic toward men, because I saw firsthand how difficult it can be for them just to open up or have someone who truly listens and cares. Society expects them to stay strong and handle everything alone, and maybe that’s why brotherhood often isn’t as emotionally open or warm as sisterhood.

Brilliant-Block-8200 · 2026-01-29T01:13:08+00:00

I do. I’ve heard firsthand from my husband on how hard it is. I know men also have high expectations in society and I really respect how resilient they tend to be. However, I have not actually heard from the men here on how women can help. If they’d just like to vent, that’s valid. But women also are allowed to take issue with it if it turns into harmful or false generalizations. But yes, I do greatly empathize with men and men’s issues and understand how lonely it can be. I just wish I knew how to help

NoDanaOnlyZuuI · 2026-01-29T13:10:39+00:00

Yes, I have empathy for men. Caring about women’s safety doesn’t cancel that out. Women’s caution doesn’t mean we think men are monsters. We manage risk, not character. The cost of being wrong is high, so we’re careful. Men deserve empathy. They just don’t need women’s suffering minimized for that to be true. And empathy isn’t action. I can care about how men feel without prioritizing my safety less to make someone more comfortable.

LolaPaloz · 2026-01-29T01:30:45+00:00

Yes. I mean I see them as people.

U know, it's hard to be unpopular. Many people feel lonely for different reasons: from trauma, from being unpopular, from being weird/different/geeky, whatever. Just because some of us do well in dating, doesn't mean we don't understand loneliness or rejection in other situations or in the past

Ronniebbb · 2026-01-29T04:09:18+00:00

Of course I do. Suffering is always sad and I always want to try and help make things better

But my empathy has a limit. When you blame and become hateful towards a specific group of people and use them as a scapegoat for your suffering, I draw a line. When you want rights to be stripped away from ppl and harm done to them my empathy ends.

jorts-enthusiast · 2026-01-29T00:59:57+00:00

Of course I feel empathy for men. We are more alike than different. Problem is, some men really don’t like when women try to be empathetic, so I reserve that empathy for men in my life mostly.

IntrusiveThot6 · 2026-01-29T02:34:04+00:00

I have a lot of empathy for men. Sympathy on the other hand it depends on the issue

oppositegeneva · 2026-01-29T02:33:14+00:00

Yeah of course, men have it much worse when it comes to dating and loneliness.

kmb218 · 2026-01-29T08:02:25+00:00

I do emphatize, I really do. Especially since I have experienced loneliness, including romantic loneliness, myself in some periods of life. It’s not even just loneliness, it’s the feeling of being excluded from something everyone else seemingly has access to.

I think a lot of men’s hatred towards women / mysoginistic opinions on here come from being hurt rather than malice. That does not mean this behavior can be excused, but I understand where they are coming from. Sometimes, I really want to share with users here what really has helped me with this type of issue to help, but I know it would not be well receieved.

I will say though that this for me is not empathy “for men” in the sense that I would think this is a predominantly/exclusively a male issue or even something they deal with more. It’s empathy for the people who are struggling with this including women. Studies shows men and women feel similar amount of loneliness. From observing the real world/my social circle it does not seem any easier for a woman to find a relationship than a man.

When it comes to more male specific issues (feeling like a creep approaching women or like a monster), I would definitely feel empathy if someone talked about this. It sounds like it sucks. That being said I have not experienced this myself and it’s not something I’ve heard many people describe in detail or even talk about in general so it would be more difficult to relate. But yeah I do feel empathy for that too.

I would say right now, the empathy is more directed at an individal struggling with it rather than something I think of as some collective empathy for a group. I think this is because the men I know (or even men on this sub) don’t really talk about this as something they are struggling with. Which is not to say they are not experiencing this, but maybe they are afraid to speak out.

ChewedMyWayOutOfThat · 2026-01-29T22:08:26+00:00

Those who want empathy, give empathy. Men can fucking start by doing their share of the household chores, childcare, volunteering, kinkeeping, eldercare, community organizating and myriad other unpaid work that men have been statistically proven not to fucking do. There's no invisible forcefield preventing men from doing so except their own laziness and lack of responsibility.

Like, women seem to have a very deep “sisterhood” that men are jealous of, and it feels so much harder as a man to get that.

Have men considered being less cunty and more supportive to other men? Again, this problem seems self-inflicted. The only obstacle in front of men is men.

Also, your entire post seems incredibly manipulative. What was the purpose of your post, other than to elicit compassion and sympathy for men, who have none for anyone but themselves?

Altruistic_Look_7868 · 2026-01-29T03:17:27+00:00

Alot of men here seem to think: women not caring about them not getting laid = women not caring about men's issues at all.

It's not true. Most women don't care about that because you not being to be in a romantic relationship despite wanting to is a personal failure, not some systemic issue that needs to be researched.

love_in_october · 2026-01-29T06:39:58+00:00

I know you're really trying to demonstrate empathy for women, but your description of what women face is only how some women would even describe it. You can't blanket say that all women face a particular problem or don't experience another. Your description of women's experiences just seem quite alien to me - for example, I haven't been used for sex nor really thought about it, I'm not particularly afraid of violence, I don't feel any deep sisterhood, and I have always been very concerned about looking like a creep when asking someone out. When I say I have empathy for men, I say I care about the experiences actual men I know are really having and don't guess about what experiences they're having and trying to empathise with things I've made up.

belongtomee · 2026-01-29T01:53:57+00:00

If you showed me a lonely depressed sad man, and asked me if I feel bad for him, I’d say yeah.

And that’s about the extent of it. I would never think about him again.

DMmeClownPics · 2026-01-29T06:27:52+00:00

Some men, yes. My boyfriend is bi and is 33 but has really only dated men because he just hasn’t had any luck with women before meeting me. He’s only a few inches taller than I am (at 5’ 2”) and he’s bald on top and skinny-fat. He is super attractive to me though.

At the same time though. He has had pretty bad experiences with men in dating too. Women just weren’t interested, but he also hated the way he was treated by men. He isn’t a fan of hook up culture and really wanted a long term relationship, but kind of just felt like he was being used like a sex toy. As though he wasn’t treated like a human being with feelings and a personality.

girlwithalovelife · 2026-01-29T01:02:11+00:00

very rarely

GridReXX · 2026-01-29T10:07:46+00:00

Sure. Empathy and sympathy.

I just have a low tolerance for cruelty, lopsided mutual consideration, edgelording, bigotry, inability to comprehend multiple and holistic perspectives, myopia, hyper self-centeredness, etc.

I also have a low tolerance for low-agency people. Not because they’re bad people. But because that “unable” and learned helplessness modus operandi frustrates and exasperates me.

NiaMiaBia · 2026-01-29T12:55:59+00:00

I have ZERO empathy for “men” as a whole.

There are some men that I do have empathy for, but as a whole. NOPE.

mashedturnip · 2026-01-29T01:32:37+00:00

I can understand men just fine. I’m just not going to fuck them or ignore/forgive their misogyny, resentment, threats, entitlement and selfishness

Men cause their own loneliness. It’s hard to feel sympathy for that

cb8585b · 2026-01-29T01:52:10+00:00

Sure to the extent I care about social issues that affect everyone they would be included and on an individual level it’s more likely I feel and demonstrate specific empathy to people I know.

Do I feel empathy for Men™ though? No and I genuinely find reddit MRA’s hilarious.

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Disastrous_Agent9307 · 2026-01-29T21:33:01+00:00

Only the hot ones.

YaSureMyGuy · 2026-01-30T02:06:05+00:00

Being a funky little neurospicy wahmen, I’ve actually found that I don’t get the experience of “sisterhood” that a lot of people describe. I’ve come close but end up feeling uncomfortable with how they talk about men lol. I don’t know if I’ve just misunderstood the meaning or something.

I don’t consider men monsters, I find that generalization really weird and I see it a lot mainly on TikTok, but outside of TikTok I usually see much more reasonable takes.

Most of my friends are men, I think only this last year I’ve made some woman friends that I actually get along with. I blame the teen girl mentality for that, as soon as I left school it was way easier to get along with women I met

ComplexAttitude4Lyfe · 2026-01-30T16:55:27+00:00

but have you also been able to see why it might be painful to be labeled as a monster because you were born one way?

Born what way? As a man?

Look, I have empathy for men. I think it is absolutely disgusting that men are conditioned not to feel or show feelings. I think there are too many women on TikTok/Insta who demonize men for no good reason.

but here on this sub, I've also been exposed to some pretty toxic views from men (men toxic on Reddit, women toxic on Insta.) So I guess it depends on WHO you want empathy for.

LemonPoppyPancake · 2026-01-29T12:53:05+00:00

Of course. I don’t think I can really switch empathy off in the first place, and it isn’t gendered. There’s always some part of me trying to read how someone’s feeling. And the closer I am to a person, the more I think about their well-being, their motivations, how they’re doing, and why they feel the way they do.

I think what you’re really asking about is sympathy, though. And yeah, I feel sympathy for men too. Men and women deal with a lot of the same issues, and the world’s been a mess for a long time now. A lot of people are struggling just to get by. Men have their own gender-specific issues too, and the expectations and pressure around their gender role definitely don’t make things easier.

pie-mart · 2026-01-29T01:08:39+00:00

Yes I do. But sometimes it becomes hard when they start talking about red pill stuff. I can understand the core of why they are in pain or feel like things are unfair, but refuse to acknowledge our risk to being raped, murdered, and getting pregnant causes us to act a lot more logically and less emotionally/lustfully than them. And they don't get it

Like a woman who actually finds ylu attractive will sleep with you immediately. Even if yall are trying to form a romantic relationship. And they never consider being attracted to the man is the bare minimum. But we have to choose to have sex or not based on a million other factors beyond just physical attraction. Like our saftey and emotional security that men just don't think about.

They think sex gotten quicker means she likes you more when irl, it just means she doesn't care about the longevity of the relationship.

And we don't just act luatfully and sleep with a guy we wanna romantically date just cuz he is hot. That doesn't mean he still can't harm us or impregnate us. We still have to ignore our lust and emotions and choose the logical path of not immediately bedding everyone we find physically hot

Blacktransjanny · 2026-01-29T01:17:25+00:00

Nope

Flightlessbirbz · 2026-01-29T03:57:57+00:00

I absolutely feel empathy for men as fellow human beings, and many of the specific issues men face. However, I don’t believe loneliness is really such a male-specific issue as it’s made out of be lately, nor do I believe what men tend to complain about on this sub should really be described as “loneliness.”

Why do I say this? Well, first of all, because I’ve never had an easy time making female friends. A lot of it is likely because I’m neurodivergent, but it doesn’t take a whole lot to miss the mark on being included in any sort of “sisterhood.” So I don’t see this as a male-specific issue, although I do have a lot of empathy for anyone struggling in this manner regardless of gender.

And as far as “male loneliness” (at least on this sub specifically goes), I can’t call it “loneliness” when men act like having a platonic female friend is just a massive slap in the face and view dating and relationships as a price to be paid for sex. It seems to be more… lack of ego validation via casual sex. And no, women are not going to have empathy for men who speak of them like points in a game and treat male/female relationships in such adversarial terms. It’s like asking men to have empathy for unsuccessful gold diggers.

Tylikcat · 2026-01-29T03:17:55+00:00

For some things.

That many of you are more socially isolated. That you really want to get laid, and getting laid is often hard. That you are generally expected to initiate most romantic or sexual contact. (Sure, I generally initiate, but especially as that's the minority position, it's generally been pretty easy. Oh, hell, it's been kind of like having super powers, though that's not all about initiating.) That there's this model of masculinity where you aren't a real man unless you have a woman (or are at least fucking various women on the regular).

It sucks to be born into a body and culture that has all of these expectations around it. The cultural undertow is real, and I hear it. (Yo, I'm a woman CS prof, and have, as a woman, been in a number of STEM positions, starting with software engineer and going on. And I'm in my fifties. Do you think that on the cultural level I haven't been swimming upstream the whole time?) But a lot of this also seems more than a little self inflicted, and things that any group of men could solve for each other. Sisterhood isn't something that just happened - hell, the older stereotype was that women were backstabbing to each other more often than not. It was something women built, and many of us are actively building now.

The exception as far as these things being stuff you can solve together, of course, is access to pussy, and considering that pussies are part of actual human beings, that is going to have to be cooperative.

mooncake_bites · 2026-01-29T15:36:21+00:00

Women have empathy for men, but we’ve either experienced ourselves or seen how having empathy for a man can derail your life and/or kill you. It’s like asking a mouse to have empathy for the cat. Maybe not all cats eat mice. Having distance from a cat won’t kill it, but being nice to the wrong cat will for sure kill the mouse. So sadly, we’ve learned the hard way to give our empathy/sympathy sparingly. You cannot change a man who doesn’t see you as human. You cannot negotiate with a collective where most of its members’ goal is to subdue you. You cannot save people who won’t help themselves. You get blamed if you have empathy for a man and he ends up hurting you.

Obvious_Smoke3633 · 2026-01-29T10:49:44+00:00

Genuinely, no.

toad-wrangler · 2026-01-29T02:52:12+00:00

Yes, I do have empathy for men and their experiences. I ususally don't take the time to listen to men outside of my family and friends because I lack the resources like time and bandwidth, not the empathy. It's not that I don't care about the well being of men or issues that they experience, it's that my struggles and the struggles of my loved one already take everything I have to offer.

kayceeplusplus · 2026-01-29T09:18:44+00:00

Yes actually. Sympathy, though, is another thing, because I don’t feel like men have it for me.

-Shes-A-Carnival · 2026-01-29T13:09:09+00:00

I feel "empathy" for my men in my life, like my father and my h. why on earth would I care about fucked up strange loser mens' loneliness and lack of sex. they are what id like my h to protect me from

GoldSailfin · 2026-01-29T15:50:48+00:00

Only for the ones I know, or hear about in the news. For example, I am reading up on Chris McCandless and how he was treated so badly by his parents as a kid that he left without a word and took off across the country and died in Alaska. It's an old story, but the new book by his sister really highlights the abuse they suffered at home. I have sympathy and compassion for people like this.

Title	Do you feel any empathy for men?
Author	GarfeildHouse
Upvotes	18
Comments	471
Date	January 29, 2026 12:53 AM UTC (6 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1qptsdr/do_you_feel_any_empathy_for_men/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/do-you-feel-any-empathy-for-men.1572182 https://theredarchive.com/post/1572182

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