I hate that damn term.

Why?

Because it’s often used to describe a normal typical woman with a normal typical female sexuality. Aka a more passive responsive libido as opposed to a compulsive libido.

I hate it because I feel like it only exists because women and their sexuality were never the focus, nor examined as much as male sexuality. Male sexuality was so prevalent growing up it was basically presented as the default sexuality.

Growing up many girls assumed they were going to hit puberty and think of nothing but sex and have “wet dreams.” When a reality what was being described to us was the male experience and typical male sexuality.

I think “demisexual” became a thing because male sexuality was seen as the default for so long, so little girls and female teens were growing up thinking something was wrong with them because they didn’t feel “horny! horny! horny!” 24/7.

They watched American Pie and were like “I don’t get it” lol.

So the girls came up with “demisexual” to try to make sense of why they couldn’t relate to the horndog status quo sexuality which was basically male sexuality being presented as “everyone’s default sexuality.” Most adolescent and teenage females didn’t hit puberty and think about sex 24/7. That’s the boy experience. We hit puberty and got a period 🩸 and more generally annoyed and “aware” lol

DISCLAIMER: I am generalizing for the purpose of digestible debate. Of course many women can relate to what people perceive as a typical male sexuality and of course many men can relate to what people perceive as a typical female sexuality. And of course there’s a lot of variance and nuance in between. But in general I’d say more women than men relate to what people describe as “demisexual.”