WTF does this kinda text mean? Seeing this guy about a month. He’s all in to me, then this?

2021-01-07T04:04:23+00:00

Ghost. Men like this believe they can come back whenever they get bored of whoever they're doing. Never ever respond or acknowledge him again.

cinderella_rising · 2021-01-07T04:00:14+00:00

Do not even bother responding.

threedotlove · 2021-01-07T03:56:55+00:00

You are not ‘one of the important things he needs to focus on.’

Move on.

SansaDeservedBetter · 2021-01-07T04:01:49+00:00

He has another girl and wants to focus on her. Sadly, we’ve all been there. You deserve better than this manipulative weirdo who is negging you via text. He is flat out telling you that he has better/more important things to do than you because he wants you to feel like shit about yourself and to crave a crumb of his attention so that you crawl back to him when he sends you a “You up?” text in a few months at 2 am when he’s done with the other girl.

TacosAndWine90 · 2021-01-07T05:04:19+00:00

We call this "making you a donkey while he tries to mount a horse" in Turkish.

He will try to get someone whom he considers better. He is tying you to a stick like a back up donkey in case he cannot mount the horse!

iamwildflowers · 2021-01-07T04:03:07+00:00

I read this and had to take a nap immediately. He seems overwhelming. I would cancel, block, and delete him💤

nagchampaflower · 2021-01-07T04:19:36+00:00

This text is vague and therefore disrespectful. It doesn’t even make any sense. It reads like that time in The Office when Michael is like, “Don't ever, for any reason, do anything, to anyone, for any reason, ever” ... sir, please speak in a complete and coherent sentence! He’s being ambiguous on purpose in order to pop back up when he sees fit. He’s leaving it open to your interpretation, which should be “goodbye!”

pathalienation · 2021-01-07T06:14:25+00:00

I’m sorry you’re experiencing this. You are not alone.

Confusion is the first indicator of abuse. You are currently very confused...
It sounds like he “love bombed” you for a month and is now withdrawing that. Narcissists do this to get you to keep waiting for the good times to come back. It literally trains your brain for the love dumps so you endure the abuse in between.
Rather than focusing on what this means HE is thinking or doing (including another woman), I suggest you focus on what this means YOU are feeling and experiencing. It sounds like you are feeling abandoned, lonely and bewildered. Do you want to be with someone who would leave you feeling like that?
Did you notice that he kind of said the same thing several times (that’s called the Pinocchio effect, liars use extra words), and everything he said was about HIMSELF? Never did he say, this might be sudden/shocking/disappointing for you, or you deserve more attention, or frankly one single thing acknowledging you are a human being with feelings... Run, sis!

In conclusion: I send these dudes one response: the PEACE emoji. Then I block and delete. They’ll never find peace, but you peacing out will give YOU peace.

night_glitter · 2021-01-07T04:03:27+00:00

It means you need to block him.

RiasXgremoryX · 2021-01-07T04:19:23+00:00

He's interested in someone else. He thinks he has a chance with the new person and he is using his "busy life schedule" as an excuse to not talk to you anymore. He WILL be back if his plans with the new girl fall through, I think you should block this guy so he isn't using you for emotional supply anymore.

VeronaMoreau · 2021-01-07T04:08:58+00:00

You are not one of the important things he needs to focus on.

I've encountered a lot of similar situations so I've come up with a mantra.

"I will read with my eyes and not with my feelings."

Geocities_SEO_Expert · 2021-01-07T04:45:55+00:00

Never believe these guys who act like some big all-consuming responsibility came out of nowhere, and now they have to duck out. If he knew a big crunch was coming, he shouldn't have been fishing for a new girlfriend just 4 weeks before it.

pinkcloudzzz · 2021-01-07T04:14:50+00:00

9/10 times it means he’s met a girl he likes more and doesn’t want to deal with the guilt of knowing he hurt your feelings. Don’t expect to hear from him again. If you do, it’ll only be because the other girl ghosted him.

warinmymind94 · 2021-01-07T04:45:57+00:00

RED FLAG! hes literally telling you "i don't care enough about you and I refuse to make time for you. I can't even carve 5 minutes out of my day to text you." I call bs on him being busy and overwhelmed. If he was into you and wanted you, he'd make time, period.

Don't respond. Just block now.

Melbournegeek · 2021-01-07T04:02:50+00:00

K bye, is what I'd be thinking as I blocked/deleted.

Vmwvi · 2021-01-07T04:13:39+00:00

Basically he isn't ready to date you ever, but wants you on the side or is trying to ghost slowly.

2021-01-07T03:55:31+00:00

The uh flair covers it pretty well lmao

TheSuspiciousChard · 2021-01-07T10:37:50+00:00

Would you EVER write this to someone you are interested in?

No? That’s what I thought.

BLOCK and DELETE. Remember those qualities you overlooked because you wanted to like him and make it work? Well he didn’t do that for you. Instead he is operating on the delusion that all women want him, he might even be just busy with porn. Throw trash right in the trash.

We don’t long after trash and hold on to it. That’s a lot of words to say “I am trash but I may be back”.

_xyoungbellax_ · 2021-01-07T04:37:24+00:00

"I'm kind of bored with you, I need another source of entertainment now, ciao" - sorry to be rude but this is what it is.

muricaxoxo · 2021-01-07T04:01:03+00:00

He's either in some shit (mental illness, issues at work, in life, court related matters, stuff with ex's) that's making him unavailable, can't handle life/ dating or not into you. But really the reason why doesn't matter, you dodged a bullet before getting too involved. Block and delete (and probably thank your lucky stars! Haha)

sunflowerr23xx · 2021-01-07T04:31:33+00:00

Means he doesn’t think you’re important whatsoever and that you’re disposable to him. Throw the whole man away.

reallyuglypuppies · 2021-01-07T06:18:16+00:00

Incredible how he can string so many words together and still say nothing. This is him ending it but trying to keep his option open for later.

Oomlotte99 · 2021-01-07T04:30:36+00:00

He’s not really going to end things jic.

I’d just ignore it, block him and move on.

companyofwolves · 2021-01-07T05:37:12+00:00

Block, ignore, forget. He met someone else.

2021-01-07T08:13:14+00:00

He's trying to get you to chase him or he's setting up a situation where he can have on foot in the door and one foot out with you. Block and delete!

sassenachpants · 2021-01-07T09:19:40+00:00

Oh fuck this guy. Block and delete.

chateauduchat · 2021-01-07T04:51:03+00:00

It takes 5 seconds to text “good morning, I hope you have a great day 💕”

My best friend and I of almost a decade text each other EVERY DAY GOOD MORNING. He’s not interested.

ijustwannabefree- · 2021-01-07T08:09:00+00:00

You’re his second or third option so if things don’t work out with the woman who’s number 1 - he’ll come back to you. Block and delete

EffectiveHoneydew422 · 2021-01-07T08:12:33+00:00

what a load of waffle! I hate the implication that you have been overwhelming him with obligation and his life affairs have gotten 'all out if whack' This kinda BS was a red flag that I ignored in past relationship that turned abusive AF later down the track, started with low-key negging back handed compliments about how he was "really getting his shit together and his life in order and his business doing so well" before I came along , taking up all his time, but he was the one that would get sad if i didn't come over after work and make a fight out of me just wanting to go home and i would feel bad for taking up his precious time but feel trapped in his house like if a left he would be like "why are you going whats wrong" it was actually hell, sometimes i would have to sit and watch him re order his shelfs or do work on his computer and i would stare out the window longing to leave and trying to think if ways i could casually bring it up in a way that wouldn't start a fight. One time i had wanted to go but ended up staying over and when i was alseep he got up and went to another room and stayed up all night on his computer then told me it was the only way he could get any work done with me around all the time, and i was upset because i only stay over to cuddle while i sleep and i felt ripped off, plus he was a drug addict that kept it hidden pretty well and i would not be suprised now that im writing this if he had taken the fleshlight (i found under his bed when i cleaned his filthy room once ((pre FDs!!)) and wanked his pathetic way till dawn SMH tlrd you dodged a bullet! block delete that loser

notreallyhere123456 · 2021-01-07T08:52:51+00:00

It means the woman he was supposed to be focusing on found out he was focusing on someone else behind her back. Or something equally pathetic. Either way, boring. Do not respond. Block the number.

esthermaniii · 2021-01-07T10:39:05+00:00

He has another love interest and he’s putting you on the back burner in case that doesn’t work out

Papaverinum · 2021-01-07T12:19:50+00:00

This means "I'm ghosting you, but in a nice way, so I can get back to you later" and "I'm more focused on other girl right now, stay on the back burner".

arwenagon24999 · 2021-01-07T12:47:28+00:00

LMAO this loser really thought he did something and ruined your world. Block and delete, this is a shit test.

broggybrog · 2021-01-07T06:53:31+00:00

If he is really that busy with something that warrants pausing contacts for a while - say arresting and prosecuting Trump protestors - he would tell you that he was arresting and prosecuting Trump protestors*

Either he isn’t that interested or he met someone else - either way he wants to keep a door open with you. CLOSE IT GIRL.

*I struggled to find a worthy excuse and this was the best I could do, apart from him saving the world from an alien attack

Substantial-Ad-1745 · 2021-01-07T10:45:43+00:00

Ghost. I had the same after a month. And he came back. Stupid younger me took him back. He was a narcissist expert in mind fucking. Do not take him back under any explanation. Cause when he’s back he will have excuses and explanations. Useless fuck

ChocoBananza · 2021-01-07T12:50:25+00:00

Overwhelmed? Stressed out? Aren’t we all tho?

Unless he’s gonna live a total hermit life for the next few months, he’s a lying liar that lies. And you know this in your gut.

This means he’s seeing someone else and he’s trying to keep you on a back burner. Or he has a girlfriend and you were a potential side piece, and he needs to keep a low profile. Either way, you don’t want him anymore, trust this internet stranger.

Ghost & block.

bonenecklace · 2021-01-07T06:35:43+00:00

when people tell you who they are, BELIEVE THEM. he is flat out telling you, as many other women in this thread have said, that you are not an important thing to focus on right now. Block, delete, move on, & whatever you do, DO NOT respond at all, with anything. he knows exactly how he is hurting you right now, do not degrade yourself by sending him a pleading text to help him understand how you feel. he knows & he does not care. this is the exact type of behavior that men do to prompt a response & make you appear like the "crazy ex flame", & living up to that idea by demanding explanations or long-winded laments about how he led you on with only fuel his narrative. just block him, he had his chance, don't give him another chance.

honestlyidkfr · 2021-01-07T06:14:17+00:00

Can’t specify any timeframe for how long this will last, can’t give any reason as to why or what’s going on (not even “it’s private / personal”), and makes it clear you aren’t important to him. This dude either has another girl, lost interest, or this is his shit test to see if you’ll still be interested after a couple of weeks of radio silence - so he can be sure he’s actually “got” you or nah. Block and delete sis

laeriel_c · 2021-01-07T08:09:06+00:00

Block

kisone · 2021-01-07T11:45:30+00:00

Dude he sounds annoying af. That type of a person who claims they r smarter then everyone else and uses extra smart words lmaoooo

understatedalways · 2021-01-07T14:17:32+00:00

You’re worth so much more than this. Do not even respond. Block his number immediately. There are high value men out there who will adore you.

cherieblosum · 2021-01-07T06:50:10+00:00

He wants to focus on another woman he's dating but keep the door open with you in case it doesn't work out.

Suspicious-Leg-1407 · 2021-01-07T05:53:15+00:00

Sorry my dear.

This isn't an honest conversation. He's shutting it all down.

Did you respond?

Summerisle7 · 2021-01-07T07:41:32+00:00

It means he’s started sleeping with some other girl, but still hopes to keep you on the back burner.

Do not respond, block and delete.

Twolipz_78 · 2021-01-07T12:08:57+00:00

Boy, bye!

blocked and deleted

PhoenixRisingAsap · 2021-01-07T13:50:53+00:00

He has sent this so that you keep the door open for when he wants to come back. Shut the door and don’t tell him. Do not respond. Ever.

dollymyfolly · 2021-01-07T14:27:22+00:00

He’s got another girl he’s gotta love bomb 🤣 He wants to know if you’ll wait for him just in case it doesn’t work out?

Fun_Sherbet · 2021-01-07T06:34:59+00:00

He's giving the old discard.. don't wait around for his ass. NOPE! Block and delete

thinktwiceorelse · 2021-01-07T12:11:36+00:00

He picked the wrong person to mess with.

NaiveClub3147 · 2021-01-07T15:07:02+00:00

Had the sameeeee thing happen to me. As many have mentioned, it’s a terrible cycle of love bombing and then the narcissist’s disposal. The guy I had been saying told me he “loved spending time with me”. “Couldn’t want to see me again.” “Things felt different with me, he felt comfortable with me.” And then dropped me very suddenly, also following a good morning text.

Like almost word for word all of the stuff your guy has mentioned here came up with the guy I was seeing when he was looking for an out. That he was “overwhelmed”. I tried to get answers but wish I didn’t. I’d block like all these other women have mentioned. Me calmly asking for answers led to him blocking me, just because he didn’t want accountability. There was another girl, for sure. Don’t let him have the upper hand. He’s disrespecting you, and my only regret now is giving him any more of my time. He didn’t deserve it.

You deserve better. If you close this door, you’ll be able to open new ones. I’ve met some incredible men after he left, and even though I didn’t end up dating them (not emotionally ready)- I don’t see any of the red flags with them. I hope for that for you too!! ❤️

letsberealforamoment · 2021-01-07T15:13:14+00:00

Haha, sounds like someone might be serving a jail sentence.

Block and delete

2021-01-07T07:29:16+00:00

He's a narcissist. Block and delete.

kimikupkake · 2021-01-07T05:45:03+00:00

I send messages like this when I'm getting bored/want out.. Its like the precursor to ghosting. Yes, I'm a horrible person

Lady_Schmoobleydong · 2021-01-07T14:35:21+00:00

He’s “diplomatically” dumping you via text. Date other guys, he ain’t your boyfriend no more.

2021-01-07T14:41:28+00:00

Idk, he sounds like an idiot. Dont respond. Not even worth analyzing... it’s not deep. He has the IQ of a goldfish.

Unfit_Needleworker · 2021-01-07T14:51:14+00:00

Sounds manipulative. Hot, cold.

janetheautomaton · 2021-01-07T15:39:36+00:00

It's been fifteen hours. If she took everyone's advice and ghosted, I bet he's reached out by now.

ChocolateBiscuit96 · 2021-01-07T15:52:08+00:00

That you’re not a priority. Don’t wait for him because you’re just gonna be a placeholder or some toy he can pick up when he’s bored, then leave you on a shelf when he finds a better toy.

PollyAnnaSunshine · 2021-01-07T15:22:56+00:00

He’s seeing someone else and doesn’t want your name popping up in his phone while he’s with her. Sorry but I think that’s the answer. What an asshole.

daisy_0720 · 2021-01-07T15:51:51+00:00

He's a narc. He's finished the Lovebombing phase and now switched into Devaluation mode.

ShieldMaidenLagertha · 2021-01-07T16:24:20+00:00

Please don’t respond at all. The best thing you could do after his rambling, poorly written, pathetic justification is to be silent and block him. He’ll feel stupid and insecure, and will wonder about your response.

feminologie_ · 2021-01-07T18:15:58+00:00

He's using the hot/cold trick on you. Shower you with attention then abruptly withdraw attention for vague reasons or no reason at all, with or without warning. The purpose is to create an anxious attachment within you so that you become emotionally dependent on him and become addicted to getting attention from him. This is manipulation. LVM love to mess with your emotions like this because they are too insecure to form a genuine connection.

This guy made it clear you're not his priority which means he's probably going to dump you soon OR he will just keep you on the back burner while he explores his other options.

As a HVW you need to remove this type of man from your life. If he is serious about you he'll make time for you whether he's busy or not. A HVM does not let his relationships fall apart just because he's stressed in other areas of his life. He handles himself properly and always does right by you.

2021-01-07T05:54:24+00:00

His gf/wife's schedule/job changed and now he has no way of hiding you from her during the day.

smallishtree · 2021-01-07T15:28:23+00:00

Tbh I’ve done this because there was a ton of shit going on in my life, and when I sent this text it’s because I didn’t want “to deal with” the guy I sent this message to. Obviously it didn’t last. Move on.

BleuRaspbery · 2021-01-07T16:50:39+00:00

I actually flip this on them and don’t allow myself to be an option anymore in their heads. I would respond with “I am not looking for this kind of relationship. Don’t contact me again, thanks.” and then I block. They pull these bizarre power moves to try to have a bunch of women they can text when they’re bored and I make it clear they’re not welcome to try with me ever again, no matter how busy they are. This text is rude.

biggestsigh · 2021-01-07T17:24:33+00:00

We should also acknowledge that no man interested in a woman is EVER too overwhelmed in his life to send text messages. It's why when guys are cheating the first thing to change is how glued to his phone he is.

After one month you should not be getting this message. Did you end up messaging him or did you block and delete?

Sarcastic3 · 2021-01-07T17:39:50+00:00

I had a good laugh reading this. Scrotes are unbelievable. Do yourself a favor and Block and delete. He will return and try to fuck you over again. Don’t give guys like these a chance.

v0ta_p0r_m0ta · 2021-01-07T05:18:13+00:00

Lets not assume all this stuff(it’s another girl blah blah blah). Just take it at face value. And simply tell him...Ok, go handle your business...and you miss...keep handling yours. Oh well, upward and onward😌💕

2021-01-07T04:39:00+00:00

[deleted]

NetflixBingeQueen · 2021-01-07T09:55:05+00:00

“Gonna hold off on texts for a while” - I won’t specify the time so you can wait for when I need you again

“I’m overwhelmed, under a lot of stress” - man sad, pity me

“I have a lot going on and I need to focus on some thing” -the other girl I was talking to is finally giving me attention so you can wait

The rest is just repetition of the above. He is a waste of time. 1 month in and he is setting the landscape for the progression of your relationship if you continue with him. Save yourself the trouble and cut your losses now. Block and delete! It’s He is not the one 2021.

simplicityduplicity · 2021-01-07T16:31:28+00:00

Translation: I have another woman I’m focusing my time, energy, attention on... but I still want to keep you around in case she doesn’t like/want me. Run.

Ancient-Cucumber · 2021-01-07T17:35:46+00:00

Hi attention needs to transition on to the next chick. Or he's not doing anything, but still not interested. Just ghost. Don't even bother to reply.
I wouldn't block, unless I feel the need to, but otherwise I'd just leave him on read, so that if he comes back later, I'll never reply to him again, while he keeps on writing.

Alybank · 2021-01-07T16:53:05+00:00

Ghost him. Obviously he doesn’t value you. Just leave him on read and never speak to him again.

MissKween · 2021-01-07T17:00:00+00:00

Block his ass! You are not on the list of important things, don't let him come back

Nat_at_all · 2021-01-07T17:45:36+00:00

Ignore it Don’t even acknowledge I hope you haven’t already

Stuffenfluff · 2021-01-07T20:39:40+00:00

NARC!!! RUN!!

RabidWench · 2021-01-07T21:28:06+00:00

Translation: "block me and delete my number, for you are not one of any number of priorities for me."

veruscka · 2021-01-08T00:52:59+00:00

Instablock ⚡️

Title	WTF does this kinda text mean? Seeing this guy about a month. He’s all in to me, then this?
Author	TastyGuava5979
Upvotes	256
Comments	127
Date	January 7, 2021 12:33 AM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/ks1bak/wtf_does_this_kinda_text_mean_seeing_this_guy/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/wtf-does-this-kinda-text-mean-seeing-this-guy.750410 https://theredarchive.com/post/750410

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