As a guy who's heavily struggled with dating and knows some others who heavily struggle with dating, we are often told to try and become friends with women first, get to know them as people, etc. before trying to take things on a romantic level. However, I've noticed that when I sometimes report back that the friendship was somewhat turned awkward or even ruined after asking them out, I get told "well maybe you shouldn't have become friends with her just in the hopes of sex."

I find it interesting that it is never taken into account that you can naturally develop feelings for friends, rather than having an exterior motive. And at times, the advice seems somewhat contradicting. People are told to get to know women first, but then if that fails people say "make you interested known fast or else you'll be seen as a friend." But when people do make their interest known fast, I'm told that it is using a friend for the hopes of sex.

I've always found this somewhat contradicting advice interesting and would like to hear others thoughts about the topic.