How to avoid being 'boring' to ladies?

shadowling77777 · 2023-08-18T12:29:55+00:00

Be attractive
Don’t be unattractive

FightMeCthullu · 2023-08-18T07:06:42+00:00

This question is so fun because myself and my fiancé are both autistic and we have literally discussed this before - how to not seem boring.

The problem is, boring is subjective. I’m boring to some people, fascinating to others. BUT the best way to make a good impression and not seem boring when you’re talking to someone is;

1: Be interested in what they’re talking about. Ask questions when it’s natural, so it’s an exchange and not an info dump

2: When you’re talking, gauge their interest. You do not have to have every interest in common to get along, but you do have to be mindful of what interests you love seem boring to others. If they seem not so enthusiastic, don’t ask many questions, or seem like they’re just being “polite”, they probably aren’t interested in the conversation topic.

3: Jokes are good but not everything has to be funny. Some people love banter and it’ll come naturally, but if they’re not a banter-y person it’ll feel forced and if it’s feeling more like stand up instead of a conversation, pare back on the jokes.

4: Know when to stop and don’t force it. If there’s a natural conclusion let it conclude.

5: Don’t reveal every single thing in one conversation. I’ve known my fiancé for 10 years, I know everything there is to know about him. After a while, interesting is based in familiarity and not mystery…..but when you’re getting to know someone, I guess you kinda want to leave them wanting to know more? Don’t hide stuff, answer questions, but don’t pour a whole life story in one go.

You can have interesting hobbies or passions, and do interesting things for dates, and still seem boring. I’ve thought someone is interesting after a coffee date, and boring after roller skating. I’ve met boring people with interesting jobs and interesting people with boring jobs…..

I think conversation really helps with being interesting.

Sillysheila · 2023-08-18T06:32:00+00:00

I’ve always felt that a man that’s intensely passionate about something or has a mission in life is pretty hot.

Twinseo09 · 2023-08-18T11:55:51+00:00

Last place you ask is Reddit

Tanker-boingo · 2023-08-18T12:40:32+00:00

You aren’t boring, you’re just not Ch@d. If she found you attractive you suddenly wouldn’t be boring, and every corny joke would be amazing. Your hobbies of looking at sports would be amazing and she’d want to know the rules of whatever sport it is.

You really need to listen less to what they say.

“Boring” is akin to “ick” which is akin to “creepy” which is akin to “just shower bro”, and everything else.

Just excuses and lies to avoid saying you’re unattractive to her.

So the real answer is, she just isn’t into you bro, you’re trying way outside your lane. Date down. Only men better than her aren’t “boring”.

Soloandthewookiee · 2023-08-18T05:54:26+00:00

It's going to vary from person to person and there's also a difference from being boring in conversation and boring in action.

For conversation, it's good to have interests and hobbies that you're passionate about. It's also important to make sure you ask her questions about herself; a number of my female friends have said they've gone on dates where the guy just talks about himself the whole time.

For keeping things interesting in action, spontaneity is good in measured doses and just going and doing different and new things.

Zabadoodude · 2023-08-18T06:25:48+00:00

You are correct. Being boring is a cardinal sin in dating, almost as bad as being unattractive.

Some women like drama, and want guys that match that energy. Plenty don't though, so you shouldn't have a problem finding them.

Tips for guys to be less boring:

Get a variety of diverse experiences and interests. If she can guess all of your hobbies and opinions based on a 5 minute conversation you will be boring.

Be more spontaneous, and try to come up with some unique date ideas.

Have a sense of humor, but don't be too self depreciating. You don't want to come across as insecure.

Be positive and energetic. Don't complain too much. Make it sound like you're excited about things, both on the date and when talking about your interests.

asdatafaweasd · 2023-08-18T10:14:17+00:00

ironically by liking all the extremely boring shit women like.

madchendesu · 2023-08-18T06:05:05+00:00

I would say being spontaneous it’s what does it for me. Like planning activities that are not just going for food. Of course I would also suggest things but the guy gotta match my vibe too! I also like memes and people that can laugh about any situation, like turning an awkward moment into a funny joke and etc.

controllrevival · 2023-08-18T06:33:53+00:00

In my opinion and from experience, “boring” usually means lack of taking risk, no hobbies, submissive

stats135 · 2023-08-18T07:26:56+00:00

Like all other subjective labels, the answer usually comes back down to rule 1 and 2. If you follow the rules, everything you do is interesting. Break the rules, and everything you do is boring.

Rach1943 · 2023-08-18T15:02:30+00:00

what ive learned is that modern dating is like a big fucking dance you have to put on for women to be "selected".

DANCE MOTHERFUCKER DANCE YEAH YEAH DANCE DANCE YOU MONKEY

*giggle giggle well I don't CHOOSE you YET..dance more!!"

not-a-dude-at-all · 2023-08-18T06:12:41+00:00

You don't. If woman see you "boring" then she isn't interested in you and you should find somebody better.

Happy_Nuclear_End · 2023-08-18T11:10:10+00:00

Be an asshole, simple as.

UpbeatInsurance5358 · 2023-08-18T08:19:25+00:00

The only way to not be boring to a woman is to find a woman who shares your interests, or perhaps outlook.

NoCardiologistz · 2023-08-18T12:49:13+00:00

Be decently attractive and try to make them laugh. Be spontaneous, talk about current events, and be laid back.

Don't talk about creepy stuff, like the Girondins, the Montagnards, Marat, Robespierre, and other fucked up stuff that nobody cares about. And ffs, don't talk about the difference between straight and broken horse snaffles. Nobody cares about your autistic hobbies.

Be normal and look decent.

Disclaimer: my advice does NOT apply if you are unattractive; if you are unattractive, you can not be not boring.

Puzzleheaded_Card_71 · 2023-08-18T09:04:05+00:00

The real answer is to not spend too much time with any one woman. No matter how funny you are, familiarity breeds contempt. The best relationships I have had are when we saw each other on weekends and maybe dinner during the week. Then there is space and time for her to miss you, and you can continue to do the stuff and hobbies that she found attractive in you to begin with. Spend 24-7 with a woman outside of the honeymoon phase and watch her desire and interest in you fade.

Ok_Scene_1799 · 2023-08-18T07:29:10+00:00

I'm sorry but I'm not an entertaining clown for your amusement.

Why are always men who have to jump on a leg for women?

Good-Fee-8681 · 2023-08-18T06:53:05+00:00

Being boring and something I don't want to come off my hobbies and interest are where I look for a person that may enjoy my company

r_phone · 2023-08-18T08:00:38+00:00

Depends on the quality of women.

Be an expert in something, and find women who find that expertise attractive

Diddy_1978 · 2023-08-18T11:59:25+00:00

You can’t learn not to be boring. Either you have passions and interests or you haven’t. On the other hand, plenty of women are boring too. Just find one of those.

wtknight · 2023-08-18T12:22:36+00:00

I only bother with women who have the same boring interests as I do. It usually worked out. Not every woman is either exciting or looking for a lot of excitement. A willingness to travel is usually enough to attract many women.

HmanTheChicken · 2023-08-18T15:35:55+00:00

Be attractive and be toxic

Helpful-Towel857 · 2023-08-18T15:37:24+00:00

If she says you're boring, dump her. Do what interests you. Life is too short to be a dancing monkey for people.

Dune587 · 2023-08-19T04:26:24+00:00

I think this is a bit of a terminally online question. The vast majority of men and women in relationships are “boring” in the sense that they have normal lives, no incredible or unique abilities, and are basically just regular people.

Imagine if every single man you see who has a gf was some high octane suave badass who sails around the world, climbs mountains, is a great improv comedian, etc. It’s a nonsense expectation set by fake social media content that depicts people’s lives as way more interesting and exciting than they actually are.

For the record, I’ve done my fair share of “adventurous/non-boring” things in my life like fly airplanes, live in foreign countries, scuba dive, play sports, etc. They’ve all had very minimal impact on my ability to attract or not attract women. Most women I’ve dated in the past shared few if any of those hobbies so I had to make a connection in some other way.

Shoddy-Donut-9339 · 2023-08-18T07:12:57+00:00

I was not afraid to look stupid when making jokes. I was pretty silly and women liked me being silly.

Substantial_Video560 · 2023-08-18T11:50:20+00:00

I'm the most interesting person I know. I'm probably considered boring to most 'normies' 😅

Captain-Stunning · 2023-08-18T13:01:17+00:00

You should be able to have a conversation. Not an interview of her, not a soliloquy about yourself, but a nearly effortless back and forth about any topic series you share common interest in. That's where the feeling of chemistry comes in, because it's usually not easy. Some people are really hard to talk to, common topics are hard to come by, and unfortunately nerves can get the better of us and diminish our vibe. During the conversation, especially on the first 1-2 dates, you keep it easy and for the love don't overshare your personal stuff.

AstronautLoveShack · 2023-08-18T13:22:08+00:00

Nobody wants you to be a dancing monkey. Just be fun and interesting to talk to. If that is being a dancing monkey to you, you must be very boring indeed. Just ask questions and listen thoughtfully to the answers, and have stories of your own to tell, be witty if you can. Be flirty, and escalate.

duenebula499 · 2023-08-18T15:46:13+00:00

Eh honestly im an introverted dude with a few masculine hobbies and not the most spontaneous and it’s never effected me. At least I’ve never had anyone call me boring. Helps that I’m tall though

RepresentativeBook62 · 2023-08-18T16:37:10+00:00

I've discovered that a woman wants to be shit tested every now and then, teased, busted on. Many crave verbal banter. It's a fine line to walk.

Stunning-Potato-1984 · 2023-08-18T17:37:25+00:00

It all depends on the person. If a guys passions were sports and cars I would be bored as fuck. This however might really rev up a different lady.

You're not going to find one viable strat. Being socially active is great. Having lots of friends and going out will at least make you not seem boring.

Zealousideal-Sell137 · 2023-08-18T06:52:42+00:00

Good question for me its:

Be a good listener and then add your own stories when it's appropriate
Be loose, on a date and it's 10pm? Suggest a walk, or a new place, always seem like you're up for something
Have interesting takes on things, usually funny takes. Even if I disagree it's still fun
Be curious and open minded to new things
Talk about your family/friends funny stories and experiences too
Don't be percieved as a homebody or couch potato, have hobbies or passions that you do when you're away from me. Basically have a life, that in itself is attractive, even if it's a second job

Lovemelikeareptile1 · 2023-08-18T11:32:19+00:00

So you have not tried actually dating and sleeping with women but somehow you are afraid you MAY get labeled as boring? Did I get this right?

Good-Fee-8681 · 2023-08-18T06:21:46+00:00

Me being boring to a lady it's just like saying she doesn't get my jokes she doesn't get away I act or the way I'm carrying myself and it comes boring to hurt because she's looking for something that I don't see it's not there but we just have to hit the right note yet

dyngladfel · 2023-08-18T08:35:04+00:00

Sorry but you're deluding yourself if you think your lack of dating success is you don't like drama.

I definitely like men that aren't boring by which I mean; they're funny and find me funny, we can spend a few hours chatting about anything and everything and that's fun; they're interested in the world; they get up to cool shit and they're down to do different things.

Kept this deliberately generic because the specifics of cool shit is gonna vary depending what area/scene/vibe you're into.

TheRedPillRipper · 2023-08-18T06:21:46+00:00

I think it’s worth being mindful of ways in which I might be coming across as boring

The key is how you’re setting up dates. Meeting is fairly straightforward. You meet. Exchange numbers. Then set up the date. Which is key.

A great tip I learned was to set up fun date ideas. My goto was simply a workout/walk and a coffee. Rock climbing. Pitch and putt. Driving range was good too. Museums. I love art. So galleries were great.

You’ve got a lot of interests. Build upon that.

Godspeed and good luck!

MidoriEgg · 2023-08-18T10:16:22+00:00

I think for some people, ‘boring’ is code for doesn’t get involved in drama. I’d avoid those people.

Irl genuinely boring men I’ve met have just talk continually about something super niche and specific (like specifics of their job). Either talking too much about 1 topic or not talking enough so I have to lead the conversation.

I think it also varies from person to person.

Correct-Warthog-9061 · 2023-08-18T06:10:30+00:00

Or.. this might be a crazy idea, be fun

TotalTravesty · 2023-08-18T13:43:22+00:00

The question is what if this just isn’t in your nature and you lean more toward introversion and prefer stability over spontaneity and are happy with a few hobbies that aren’t exactly appealing to women and aren’t overly ambitious? (Which I would say describes the average guy)

Then be the best version of that. Boringness to me means being a muted version of yourself. It means being asked a question and giving a one word answer. Aim to be the type of person who begins an answer with “Okay, so…” before taking a person on a ride deep into your world. Even if your world consists solely of stamp collecting, I want to walk away ready to start collecting some damn stamps myself. Be a person with life behind the eyes.

At the same time be honest and sympathetic to the fact that you’re trying to relate to another live human. You can’t expect someone to sit in a corner and watch you play video games all day even if playing video games alone all day brings you tremendous joy. And before you blame women for wanting a dancing monkey, know that nobody is going to tolerate being around an energy-drain.

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c0pkill3r · 2023-08-18T07:28:25+00:00

Righteous anger is very interesting. You can be rather dark and twisted with it. Like me. I scare people constantly when I feel lots of empathy. It gets siphoned off for certain other types of people. When those people sense they can't control me with superficial attributes that are easily used on others they lose their fuckin minds. It destroys the natural hierarchies that "civilization" (pathetic) is founded on.

motion_lotion · 2023-08-18T07:40:59+00:00

First off accept that no matter what, sometimes you will be boring to some women. Sometimes the vibe simply isn't right. Anyway, you need to have passions. Hobbies. Things you do besides watching netflix. For example, I love climbing, BJJ, MMA and boxing. This has lead to me meeting so many women who shared the same interest. However to a mostly sedentary girl I met, this was not so interesting. Likewise, I found her interests boring and told her. She said the same about me politely, we had a quick huge and went our separate ways. This was a while ago, but I ended up finding a good match a week later while climbing in the Adirondacks. You have to have hobbies. You have to have interests. You have to do things where women will be there. Meet them organically. It's so much easier than swiping on a fucking dating app and competing with 50 guys, 25 of whom are using pics from 7 years ago.

No-Chance-8405 · 2023-08-18T09:48:13+00:00

You sound like someone who should do perfectly fine, you don't sound like you would be boring at all, but I'll try to answer your question nevertheless.

Boring would be someone who only talks about their job and nothing else. Or someone who never offer new topics and only passively replies to what the other person says. Or someone who is only serious all the time, without any banter in between. Or someone who is never open to new ideas or curious about other things and life, basically living in their own small bubble... to name a few.

TheMemeMkaer · 2023-08-18T11:18:40+00:00

Drugs

FightingForCollins · 2023-08-18T11:47:54+00:00

You avoid being boring to women the same way you avoid being boring to men: be funny, have things that you're passionate about, do a lot of things so that you have experiences you can tell people about, spend time with people who have similar values and interests as you.

DeepHouseDJ007 · 2023-08-18T12:50:15+00:00

By “boring” women usually mean a guy who’s completely predictable, repetitive, and lacks spontaneity.

It’s fun to be around someone spontaneous, that can be a little unpredictable (in a good way, that has a sense of adventure and who knows who to live in the moment, and that’s usually what women mean when they say they don’t want someone boring.

Some of the things about me than women I’ve dated / FWBs found fun about spending time with me: - I DJ and know a bunch of other DJs which means playing at clubs and going to see friends plagiat clubs and being backstage / in the VIP lounge. - I love taking random spontaneous road trips and just deciding to hop in the car and drive towards the mountains / the beach / another country / whatever. - My social circle is varied and a lot of fun. I have friends who live all over the world and they come and go so there’s always cool people to meet and to talk to that just came back from some exotic destination to have interesting conversations with. - I’m a great cook and sometimes I like to just stay in and make some fancy food for us to chill, get high together and binge watch some cool Netflix series. - Sometimes I’ll just randomly just change plans and surprise her with something totally out of left field, for instance there was a time we had had an early dinner and she expected us to just lounge around and chill and I told her to put on a little black dress and some Louboutins because we just received an invite for a private LVMH (the Louis Vuitton, Moet &Hennessy group) event in Manhattan and we were going.

It’s not about doing things that are necessarily fancy or expensive, it’s about doing things that are fun and living in the moment and not being a one trick pony that gets cranky and uncomfortable the second he’s out of his element. Women want to see that the men they’re with know how to “handle the world”, so to speak.

waffleznstuff30 · 2023-08-18T12:53:18+00:00

Be spontaneous and have clear goals for yourself having passions in life have your own thing going for you. Like that is awesome if you have hobbies and things you want to do and are passionate about doing tell us about it take us to it.

A lot of the time boring is when a date feels like a job interview. Or there is no banter and you talk into the void. Crack jokes let loose a little bit.

It doesn't mean being a performer just be genuine.

CountMandrake · 2023-08-18T13:16:48+00:00

I remember long time ago a girl sent me a text on a Saturday at 10 o the morning. I was completely black out drunk, so I replied about 14-5 PM. The convo was something like this...

Hey, how are you? -
Hi, fine, and you? -
I'm cool, thanks, what you doing? Wana hang out? -
Sorry, who are you? -
I'm Martina -
Have we met before? -
Last night? You don't remember me right? -
Sorry, I passed out last night -
Yah I could see -
Who gave you my phone number -
You did -
Really? -
Yeah, I was kinda hitting on you, you're cute -
Thanks, so did we made out? -
Well not really, I took sit next to you, you were faceshitted, I offered you some water and you drank my entire bottle, and then proceded to talk for 40 minutes about an orc warrior you have in World of Warcraft and how much you love fucking up elves and dwarves. Then you gave me a small kiss, your phone number and left. -
Oh well sorry -
It's ok, but you can invite me for some shots and apologize in person? -

We ended up fucking that night and dated for the next two years.

She was so relief to know I was a skilled musician and composer who played in three rock/metal bands and could speak four lenguajes fluently. She thought I was going to talk about World of Warcraft and Champions of Regnum 24/7 and bore her ass out of the relationship, but I'm actually a quite fun, extroverted and intresting person.

Still, my point is, when a woman wants to fuck you anything and everything you say can be fun and intresting.

Even hearing about your lvl 60 orc in World of Warcraft.

HaymakerGirl2025 · 2023-08-18T13:28:56+00:00

The men that are truly boring are the ones that talk about themselves the entire date.

So, be curious. Smile. Ask questions. Listen a lot. Bring up some of your own passions and interests. Give and take.

If she’s the type that talks only about herself, then she’s not the one for you.

DopeAFjknotreally · 2023-08-18T13:36:23+00:00

Two different approaches, both of them stem from the same concept - don’t ask a bunch of super basic questions on the first date. Shit like “where are you from” and “what do you do” and “how many siblings do you have” is boring.

1 - Be playful. Lightly tease her about stuff. Make super exaggerated plans with her “omg we’re going on a rocket ship right now and flying on the moon. You want to land the craft or get feet on the ground first?”.

2 - Depth. deep questions beyond superficial shit. Where does she see herself in 10 years? What is the perfect evening for her? What does the word love mean to her? What’s the most important green flag for a friendship? What is her passion? Likewise, talk about your own real passions. Not “making money” or video games. Your real passions in life. Don’t have any? Then you need to try more things in life

EverVigilant1 · 2023-08-18T13:52:43+00:00

Unfortunately, the more you care about this, the more boring you'll be to women. Better to stop thinking about how to avoid being boring to women, which will make you more interesting.

RevolutionaryOkra679 · 2023-08-18T14:10:46+00:00

Are you on the spectrum homie? You type like you’re on the spectrum

SwimmingTheme3736 · 2023-08-18T14:22:13+00:00

What I find boring has changed at different times in my life. I used to like parties and clubs, now I like garden centres and decorating my house.

As a teen a date took me to a theme park and I thought that was the coolest thing ever.

My last date with my husband was swimming in a waterfall pool

Hoopy223 · 2023-08-18T14:40:08+00:00

Conversational skills are huge. Get them talking about whatever they are interested in and listen intently.

Look your best. Being attractive always helps. They’ll have more fun talking to you because you are nice to look at.

Try to keep up on whatever pop culture cancer the women are interested in where you live. Where I used to live during my 20s it was DJs. Even women that were in their early 30s still wanted to go to clubs where certain DJs played.

As you get older the pop-culture part matters less and hobbies matter more. They want to know that you have an interesting and fun hobby. Maybe you go off mountain climbing or ride motorcycles. That sort of thing.

Flightlessbirbz · 2023-08-18T14:44:14+00:00

You don’t have to be extroverted or a drama king to avoid being boring. Personally, the ultimate problem with the men I’ve found boring, is that they didn’t have much curiosity or passion. This meant they didn’t have enough basic knowledge or interest to be able to have conversations about more than a few topics. Like I would start talking about something that caught my interest and maybe wanted to know more about or try, and they’d just shut it down.

Avoiding boring doesn’t have to mean having extensive knowledge or experience. It’s good if you can have some of that, but it’s just as important to avoid monologuing and show interest in what the other person is talking about. I’ve noticed that men often don’t want to continue the conversation if they don’t know more than you about a topic or don’t share an experience. You don’t always have to be able to impress her. Sometimes she’s just trying to interact with you.

bread93096 · 2023-08-18T14:55:26+00:00

Sometimes women make jokes about me being boring. I have interesting sounding hobbies, like writing, filmmaking, painting, but in reality they consist of me sitting quietly in my apartment and working for hours on end. I don’t like to party, I’m not enthusiastic, I don’t have an edgy sense of humor, and I’m not planning on changing any of those things.

So if women say I’m boring, I’ll just respond with ‘Yep. Im a grandpa’. After all, I’m not here to entertain them, and it would be more unattractive for me to apologize about being boring than to convey that I simply don’t care what they think. On the plus side, I’ve had several women tell me I have a ‘calming presence’. So if you’re boring, I encourage you to embrace serenity instead of trying to put on some clown show of adolescent joi de vivre.

Fantastic-Pirate4623 · 2023-08-18T15:00:16+00:00

Find interests that appeal to you both. Include her in your hobbies if she’s interested.

I’m thinking about when my friends found their boyfriends boring, it was usually because he played video games too much and forgot she existed.

Of course you can still play video games if that’s your forte, just remember she doesn’t want to sit there endlessly while you play them.

TelevisionGloomy5458 · 2023-08-18T15:16:40+00:00

Read books, fiction and nonfiction. Have a multitude of interests, hobbies, skills. Listen to comedy skits etc.

thechopps · 2023-08-18T16:12:55+00:00

Personally I think venues are a major key in what is perceived to be “boring” dates.

If it’s a dinner date you have to have multitasking at knowing when to stuff your face, but also let her talk and be entertaining all at the same time (secret make sure to eat something before the date so you’re not actually super hungry and can allocate more brain power to the other two. Always works for me.)

If you have like boardwalk, pier , or some sort of busy event like a food festival or something dumb like that you have so much more to talk about but the key here is physical contact in a playful light manner and being talkative in a focused on her the date setting.

Don’t talk about boring shit most women could care less about when dating. She’s focused on seeing what her potential with you looks like for “feels good” emotional not sexual perspective.

Conversation when first dating shoul never feel like an on/off switch with pauses. It should be continuous flow and that’s why the second types of dates are great for this reason. If conversation is dwindling then you always have something going on to focus on to like something cool caught your attention and leading the date again.

Both people are going to be nervous but it’s your responsibility as a dude to lead the conversation and energy, she responds directly off of that.

Flirt, make a PP joke or something lol

HighestTierMaslow · 2023-08-18T16:41:42+00:00

You havent found the right one.

Im a female and this post could be written about me (although I do think I am reactive sometimes IDK, but others describe me as not)

" I'm also obviously not going to be trying to force a connection with a lady who's looking for someone who isn't me" Yep this is the right attitude. You will meet someone eventually who appreciates your qualities.

I wrote on my dating profile I was turned off by reality TV and that I prefer to stay in more than travel and there were quite a few people who agreed with me apparently.

sunfromgirl · 2023-08-18T17:02:59+00:00

I think beyond boring, there is another massive deal breaker : self involved, inconsiderate & cheap. This generation I’ve noticed tends to be all of those things. Now I understand that we are living during a time where housing is basically unaffordable most places and inflation is killin us, but if a guy makes MORE money and doesn’t bother to chip in a single dime outside of his half while you two are dating and doesn’t bother to do anything thoughtful at all, that is literally the killer. There is just something inherently unattractive when it comes to stingy men. It should always be both ways, always, don’t get me wrong - but when someone doesn’t go out of his way to do something nice for you once and a while…. Ugh. No. Money is symbolic of a lot unfortunately, and the way a guy treats his wallet is how he will also interact with you emotionally - if he’s stingy, he’ll be stingy with compliments, affections, emotions.

Unfortunately I’ve ended up in situations where I would pay and thinking nothing if it - and expect that the other person would remember that and offer to cover later. Man was I sorely mistaken. It’s just so gross, I’ll take boring over that shit any day.

Bikerbats · 2023-08-18T18:01:41+00:00

Be active. It's as simple as that. Take hobbies for example: Anime (insanely popular on Reddit) and gaming are purely passive, sedentary endeavors that usually enjoyed slack-jawed while mouth breathing on your ass. Yes, that's fucking boring, and you look amazing with a controller in your hand on the couch drooling on your chin. The guy who instead put his girl on the back of his bike and road and hour outside of town to that little known BBQ is going to have a much happier girlfriend than the couch potato.

MistyMaisel · 2023-08-18T18:16:31+00:00

Watch your audience. If they aren't smiling, laughing, and showing interest positively and genuinely, you need to get off the stage or invite them to participate better.
Do not assume shared interests means you share those interest the same ways. Remember to watch how they're interfacing with how you interface with the shared interest.
Info dumps are usually not appreciated by the majority of people. Don't do it unless invited and remember to cut it shorter than you may want to.
Ask people about themselves and be a good audience member for their stuff as much as you expect them to be a good audience member for your stuff.
Take risks in your humor or conversation.
Do some spontaneous stuff, be somewhat unpredictable.
Realize life isn't about you, if you're an introverted dude and don't like adventures, be doing it for her. Do it because you love her and realize life isn't about you or your comfort 10000% of the time. Make a sacrifice, but with a genuine heart to enjoy the activities.
Challenge yourself to be more than you are. Me personally, and I'm a woman, I try to say yes to at least one thing a year that within reason, I would never do, think is stupid, am sure I'll hate, and may even consider to be a bit sketchy.
As much as you pick on these dramatic guys not being interesting, remember that sitting in a chair playing video games or doing the same thing every single day is beyond certainty not interesting. At least the other guy is in the running to be interesting. He's trying. He might be failing, but he's trying. Most of the guys you're describing ain't even trying.
Don't talk about your job unless it is a really interesting job (shark tamer) or you're really good at making mundane office scenarios interesting.
Have a life plan and be able to articulate it.
Invite her to participate in non-shared hobbies at least once in awhile. And offer to participate in her hobbies/interests once in awhile.
Be intellectually curious and humble. The number of tedious fuckwits I've met who think reality tv or make up or other girly interests are shallow and beneath them is hilarious. If you're bored by them, I can almost promise you it is because on a fundamental level you're unaware of, you're boring and selfish.
Don't dump. It's ok not to reveal everything all at once. Assume there's going to be more interactions and there probably will be. Think of movie trailers. Give enough to keep everyone wanting to talk. Show the entire movie and I ain't going because I think I already know everything.

jonascf · 2023-08-18T19:51:21+00:00

The question is what if this just isn’t in your nature and you lean more toward introversion and prefer stability over spontaneity and are happy with a few hobbies that aren’t exactly appealing to women and aren’t overly ambitious? (Which I would say describes the average guy)

This is a very accurate description of me, but some women do obviously find me interesting.

This might seem a bit vague, but I think that much of it comes down to what kind of "vibe" one gives off. It seems some women liked the edgy, brooding and nihilistic vibe I gave off when I was younger, and today I would say that it's probably my epicurean enjoyment of life and curiosity about the world that makes me interesting to some women.

So; it's about vibes, unfortunately it's hard to be any more practical than that. Except perhaps for this; be a good conversationalist, everybody loves that.

Laurely4u · 2023-08-18T20:34:38+00:00

Don’t talk about your medical issues

ceereality · 2023-08-18T21:44:18+00:00

Don't be an open book

That's imho the only and the best advice I can give you to answer your title.

Educational_Tank_175 · 2023-08-18T23:19:46+00:00

Ask her about the things that interest her and see what you have in common.

Use open ended questions.

Listen to the answer (don't just wait to talk).

Talk passionately about things that interest you.

If she is unengaged at this point, she is just not that into you.

toasterchild · 2023-08-19T01:22:50+00:00

Spontaneity doesn't have to be crazy, it can be really simple little things like "screw doing the laundry first thing this weekend lets start with mimosas" or "wanna check out the renfair?"or it's been a while since we've done something fun, wanna plan a weekend get away?" Just going places and doing simple things is exciting to someone who's into similar things. You don't have to be grandiose and crazy, just leave the house sometimes.

JumboJetz · 2023-08-19T01:28:41+00:00

I’m not a fan of Andrew Tate but on a funny podcast (Your moms house - seriously the podcast with him on it was a riot), he gave a great piece of advice. When asked what this kindof man should do he said “take a train trip from Europe all the way to Asia and think about what a bitch you are - at least you’ll end the trip with some stories”

The take away message is - do interesting things and you might become interesting.

Quick_Ad_3367 · 2023-08-19T02:38:14+00:00

I know it's a cliché in this sub but the best way to not be boring is for the other person to really find you attractive and to want to be with you. This has been my experience as a guy who got his self esteem crushed because I thought I was the most boring person ever when trying to entertain women who didn't want me. Whenever a girl really liked me and especially if I liked her back, both of us went through awkward moments very easily and the question or thought of being boring never came up.

BlueGlazedDonut · 2023-08-19T18:36:18+00:00

This isn't advice, just a trend.

I feel like so many guys get so caught up in "improving themselves" they become actual cardboard cutouts. Ripped, hustling, nice clothes, etc.

My man, you spend all your time becoming a sex doll. Ofc girls will find you Boring, ofc they aren't gonna be loyal. After like a month of fun w you, they're gonna feel like youre a joke of a person. Like Christian Bale in American Psycho.

Have fun in life. Stop defining yourself by how women view you. Find hobbies, just do whatever. Sure, work out, but do it for you. Do it cause it feels good. Hangout w people, anybody, watch the crazy shit that happens.

And the sparks will fly along the way.

Not saying this is easy advice. It can be difficult to go out and have fun, and investing in yourself is better than nothing I guess. It's just, you're gonna be so fucking boring if that's all you do lol. The only fun a girl will have is making fun of you in her head and riding your dick for a month or two

bootyhunter69420 · 2023-08-20T02:16:42+00:00

Be tall

social_mules_alt · 2023-08-20T02:54:55+00:00

How I avoid being boring (a primer)

I limit the amount of time I spend with a woman. The truth is modern adulthood is "boring" to the average novelty seeker if you're doing it right. I spend roughly 60 hours per week working, commuting to/from work and getting dressed/undressed before and after work. I also spend about 60 hours sleeping, shitting, showering, brushing my teeth etc. Gotta eat so I spend time cooking. Fortunately I have a dishwasher so I'm not standing over the sink doing dishes.

I mow the grass every week during the rainy season. I have a cleaning lady come in periodically so I don't do much heavy housework. Aside from that laundry needs to be done, the dog needs to be fed, watered and walked, oil needs to be changed, tires need to be balanced and rotated, groceries need to be bought etc. Not much time left to entertain some bitch with an insatiable appetite for excitement.

And that boring routine is what a person sees if they're with me. They see me riding on the John Deere on the weekend or sitting in the living room folding my t-shirts and boxer shorts while my meals for the week are in the crock pot.

Oh, I also have a compost bin and a few raised beds with vegetables for crying out loud. Is there anything less exciting than a fucking vegetable garden? Hey baby, take a look at these radishes.

My "excitement" consists of getting choked out by 145 lb brown belts at bjj and a few international trips per year. Pretty boring.

However.....

If she doesn't have constant access to me she sees a man who has a mowed lawn, paid bills, laundered clothes, a fed dog, who "does mma" (I don't "do mma" but it's the closest thing to bjj that I can explain) travels, cooks etc. And I'm a 6'4" engineer. Do you have any idea how good I look on paper? How many fucking boxes do I check?

Heifers see me in a group photo with the other "cage fighters" at my gym one week, see photos of me at an exotic location a month later and from the outside looking in I'm Mister Excitement. Not just Mr Excitement but Mr Excitement who also has his shit together.

And the facade stays intact provided I never let them get too close or stay around for too long.

mikehawk1988 · 2023-08-20T10:26:36+00:00

Your best chance to seem not boring is to go out with your friends and have a good time. Just like the cheerleader effect this will 100% make you more attractive. If a woman likes you she will want to take part in that group and be as cool as you. Most women groups are boring as hell and male friends groups are always the main thing. They only look down on you when you're alone, except if you actively engage in social situations by for example talking to a whole friends group and asking if you can join.

Peacesquad · 2023-08-25T03:42:54+00:00

Be hot. Don’t be broke

Title	How to avoid being 'boring' to ladies?
Author	StaticNocturne
Upvotes	30
Comments	185
Date	August 18, 2023 5:44 AM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/15ubnem/how_to_avoid_being_boring_to_ladies/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/how-to-avoid-being-boring-to-ladies.1228884 https://theredarchive.com/post/1228884

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