If high n count men are hypocritical for wanting low n count women - does the same apply to wealth preferences in women?

Reisiluu · 2021-11-17T15:44:57+00:00

Hypocrites are those whose actions contradict their beliefs.

hypocrisy UK /hɪˈpɒk.rɪ.si/ US /hɪˈpɑː.krə.si/

a situation in which someone pretends to believe something that they do not really believe, or that is the opposite of what they do or say at another time:

The reasoning matters. Does she think everyone who is unployed is a loser, but blames her 5-year long unemployment on her abusive ex or some other excuse? Hypocrite. If she thinks a woman's place is at home and a man's place is at work, she is sexist but not a hypocrite.

Similarly, a man who incorrectly believes that men's promiscuous behaviour is not a sign that they are bad partners but believes that is the case for women, is sexist. If he believes women shouldn't sleep around and then encourages them to do exactly that, he is a hypocrite. One can be sexist and a hypocrite at the same time.

Novadina · 2021-11-17T09:23:29+00:00

I think it is, yeah.

Wanting a partner who has similar goals and lifestyle as you would make more sense to me. Someone working minimum wage probably doesn’t really share the same goals as someone who is a high earner.

ivy176 · 2021-11-17T16:13:46+00:00

It's hypocritical if either of them demand that in a partner when they can't provide it themselves, yes. They're ultimately free to want that though and it doesn't make them evil for having a preference. I guess it depends on whether it's a hidden preference vs a demand.

But I don't know why a high count man would want a low count woman in particular. It wpupd be a lot more work for him.

StacksFifthAve · 2021-11-17T14:41:08+00:00

There was a video of a podcast where this young black woman, I’d say about 22-26, said she deserved a millionaire because she had her own bag.

When she was asked to clarify how much her bag was, she said she was making about $50k a year; it was ridiculously hilarious.

If a woman making about $100-300k/year says she feels she needs a millionaire, then that’s one thing and I can understand why she may feel that way. If that isn’t passive income, or some manner of her finding a way for her money to work for her, then that means she’s working 40-65 hour weeks for that money, and starting a family with someone will be sure to slice her income down; she’s gonna want someone she can sure will be able to maintain the life she already built for herself along with being able to handle the bag that their life as a family will require.

But, in my state, minimum wage is $7.25, which is $15,000 a year. No woman making that should have the audacity to think she’s owed a UMC anything.

$7.25 an hour is why so many people would rather scam and sell drugs for a meager 15-30k a year, but that’s an entire other conversation to get off into.

CimZim · 2021-11-17T09:53:54+00:00

I think it is hypocritical, yes, with one caveat. The woman is in a minimum wage job out of her own choice, just like high N men are sluts out of their choice.

The whole hypocrisy thing is due to not even trying to hold yourself to the same standard as your mate, and either not acknowledging or getting upset that your choices may have a negative effect on how you're perceived by the person you're wanting.

High N men spent their sexual lives being sluts out of choice but fail to realize the majority of low N women have zero desire to be with a guy who fucked enough people to fill a movie theater. We want a guy who has a N similar to us. Typically the guy gets upset, saying that women "shouldn't care" or worse, keeps banging his head on the wall insisting we don't care.

Lower class woman who spends their career lives being minimum wage workers out of choice but fail to realize that the majority of high earning men have zero desire to be with a woman whose greatest work accomplishment is being employee of the month at McDonald's. He wants a woman who has a financial motivation similar to him. So if she gets upset, saying a man making $200k shouldn't care that she's only making $20k, or worse, keeps banging her head on the wall insisting men are totally accepting of gold diggers, yes she's just as hypocritical.

redheadbeauty15 · 2021-11-17T20:06:27+00:00

almost every single person is hypocritical about what they want in dating, I want a boy with a moustache but I don't have one is a stupider version of that. It's obvious men and women are different.

That being said there are also common expectations of someone being on your "level" not just looks wise. This can account for a lot of these being seen as hypocritical. Sometimes though what you look for in a partner is not what they are looking for in you so it sort of works.

I think the problem comes when your preference now becomes this public expectation you place onto all of the opposite sex. Men and women do this they try and shame each other cuz they don't meet the standards they were not even trying to meet. Also just because you have a right to have a preference others also have the right to criticize it. For example rolling their eyes when a fat guy or woman says they don't want to date someone fat. Fools can look like fools.

I personally find the low n count want to be a bit insecure ( unless they also have low) considering they consider the max for low to be like 3. They still can have that preference though, I just find it insufferable when they constantly try to rationalize why this should apply to the value of all women, even ones they aren't dating. FDS does this too in some ways.

It's human nature to contradict yourself. You also owe it to yourself to reflect on why you do and maybe you can resolve some of it if you feel it hinders your relationships.

healththrow345 · 2021-11-18T07:04:45+00:00

It's about shared values. I would never settle for a former male hoe. That's gross to me and I'd feel dirty.

Stoic_WillToPower · 2021-11-17T10:51:57+00:00

They are both hypocrites

MMAjambo · 2021-11-17T12:19:29+00:00

Its hypocritical if they chat about getting rid of gender roles then still think a man has to treat a treat a lady to a night out and pay for her stuff

dbz19 · 2021-11-17T13:41:29+00:00

I don't think either is "hypocritical". People can have whatever preferences they want. Leave them alone.

If you want a virgin, want a virgin. If you want a millionaire, want a millionaire. You're allowed to want what you want. Don't let anyone shame you out of it.

SaBahRub · 2021-11-17T15:28:50+00:00

Yes. Unless you plan to do most of the childcare

hermione88992 · 2021-11-17T18:09:25+00:00

Both are hypocritical.

princessxmombi · 2021-11-17T21:13:09+00:00

The way you wrote this is unclear. Do you mean low income women expecting high income men? Yes, that’s hypocritical too.

Fleischpeitsch · 2021-11-18T14:41:18+00:00

Despite what the virgins of the manosphere claim in reality most men don't care, and they are just trying to come up with any justification for their insecurities that put the blame on women.

https://www.bustle.com/articles/97433-more-women-than-men-care-about-a-new-partners-sexual-history-says-new-study-and-over

Far more women than men want to know about their partner's sexual past, according to a new study by sex toy company Love honey.

Not only do 36 percent of women want to know the intimate details of their partner’s sexual past, but women are also more likely to talk about their past partners. Of those surveyed, 44 percent of women were more than happy to volunteer information about their exes, compared to 39 percent of men who did the same, and 76 percent of women talk about lovers from their past with their current partners. Men, at only 66 percent, are still in the majority, but definitely less chatty.

According to the results, 45 percent of men “deliberately avoid” talking about their exes, while only 38 percent of women also do.

For 27 percent of women a partner’s sexual history has complete and total bearing on whether that person will make a good partner. You know, because forget qualities like honesty and kindness. At 21 percent, men aren’t too far behind women in this thinking.

According to the survey, 29 percent of women and 21 percent of men would be “put off” if someone they're dating had a high “number.”

But while there are those who lie by decreasing numbers, there are also those who lie by increasing numbers. Of those surveyed, 31 percent of men and 12 percent of women actually inflate the number of their past sexual partners as a means to impress the new person they’re dating.

As a spokesperson for Lovehoney explains, “All our research shows that the happiest couples are those who are open and honest with each other, particularly in the bedroom. A significant number of men and women do tell white lies about their sexual pasts, but the overwhelming majority are honest.”

For 27 percent of women a partner’s sexual history has complete and total bearing on whether that person will make a good partner. At 21 percent, men aren’t too far behind women in this thinking.

According to the survey, 29 percent of women and 21 percent of men would be “put off” if someone they're dating had a high “number.”

And despite the virgins of the manosphere using their solipsism to claim that no man would want to date a woman with a high n-count, in reality it's actually just virgins that want virginal partners while studs prefer sluts.

http://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/00224499.2016.1232690

For long-term relationships, in contrast, there was virtually no sex difference. Thus, contrary to the idea that male promiscuity is tolerated but female promiscuity is not, both sexes expressed equal reluctance to get involved with someone with an overly extensive sexual history. Finally, participants with an unrestricted sociosexual orientation (high SO participants) were more tolerant than low SO participants of prospective mates with higher numbers of past sexual partners but were also less tolerant of prospective mates with low numbers of past sexual partners.

https://www.researchgate.net/publication/5964280_Matching_in_Sexual_Experience_for_Married_Cohabitating_and_Dating_Couples

Romantic partners showed a significant level of matching in the prior number of intercourse partners. Further, among the married couples, a higher discrepancy between men's and women's number of previous intercourse partners was related to lower levels of love, satisfaction, and commitment in the relationship.

tl;dr: High n-count people are usually looking for and pairing up with other high n-count people, while virgins are looking for and pairing up with other virgins, which explains why the manosphere has such a strong preference for virgins.

fakingandnotmakingit · 2021-11-17T09:21:56+00:00

Yes. Women are hypocritical if they want someone who earns more than them.

The only times it isn't hypocritical is when it is almost unavoidable. Like for example physical strength. Obviously it would be borderline ridiculous to expect that the man is not physically stronger than the women or to demand that the man be able to get pregnancy. Both of those are biological and physical functions that's part of dimorphism.

Last I checked n count is not physcially mandated by biology. Neither is wealth. Therefore hypocritical.

Additional-Project28 · 2021-11-17T09:22:15+00:00

In my opinion, neither is hypocritical. Like you said men and women are not the same which means each gender is going to want different things.

It just so happens men don't want women with a past and women want men with a future.

WilliamWyattD · 2021-11-17T10:16:21+00:00

It's only hypocrisy if on subscribes to the idea there are no gender differences or roles.

That said, even if not hypocritical, ones ideas about gender balance could be unfair. Or one's ideas can be wrong.

AquaChip · 2021-11-17T09:31:46+00:00

You except your partner to have higher moral standards than you while you give them lower morals in return. The amount of money someone makes ebbs and flows. You can’t take back how many people you’ve slept with. That goes for men too.

Men with high n-counts are more likely to cheat. Why would a woman who’s been “good” (by society standards) want that for herself?

NarniaFox · 2021-11-17T09:43:31+00:00

Having different standards for yourself and your partner(s) is hypocritical if we're talking about morally-based preferences and in some other cases.

If a man believes that casual sex is inherently wrong, he's a hypocrite if he engages in it himself. If he thinks that casual harms only women, he's still a hypocrite if he doesn't refuse from casual himself as in this way he harms women by having casual sex with them.

Income preferences aren't exactly morally-based though.

JoeRMD77 · 2021-11-17T12:46:23+00:00

I've had a lot of sexual experience and I expect the women I date to be on a similar level. I think I'd be pretty bored with someone who wasn't.

I've known women who look at promiscuous men as unworthy dating prospects because they know he just offers himself as a cock carousel to whatever woman finds him attractive.

To think it doesn't work both ways is shortsighted.

chubbybutt22 · 2021-11-17T13:06:45+00:00

Yes. They are both hypocritical. Most people are hypocritical about a lot of things. Own it.

wtknight · 2021-11-17T14:22:54+00:00

No. I think that it’s hypocritical for a person who doesn’t do any work at all, including domestic work, to want a partner who is willing to work. Wealth is not always reflective of work level.

flapperfemmefatale · 2021-11-17T14:37:22+00:00

It depends. If the attitude is that the behavior you want to avoid damages a person, then yes it'd be hypocritical to engage in that behavior yourself.

So if a woman sees being poor as damaging, I would expect her to not be poor.

Flightlessbirbz · 2021-11-17T15:01:50+00:00

I would say sort of yes, it is similar though not quite the same. In both cases people have expectations for a partner that they aren’t even trying to live up to themselves. They’re also somewhat delusional to think that most low n women want a slutty man or that most wealthy men want a minimum wage woman. While the genders do have different priorities, the reality is that similar people tend to get together. Rich men being willing to marry poor “hypergamous” women and virgin women being willing to marry high n player type men are nowhere near as common as red pillers seem to think.

The difference is that in the case of n count, men are making moral judgments on women for behavior they engage in themselves. Which is basically the definition of hypocrisy. With women and income, it’s not a moral judgment, more like a hope of getting lucky. So just delusional.

Ruben_the_Fish · 2021-11-17T16:36:23+00:00

Literally no one cares how much money I make.

HumanNumber348 · 2021-11-17T17:00:13+00:00

Yes. Especially if she goes around calling male minimum wage workers worthless trash not deserving of love, like many of the it’s-just-a-preference men do.

notsofriendlygirl · 2021-11-17T17:13:13+00:00

Hookup culture is damaging to both men and women, but moreso for women.

sarkington · 2021-11-17T17:34:25+00:00

Yes, unless you are planning on a traditional or unequal setup to begin with.

Ppdebateismental · 2021-11-17T18:06:13+00:00

Is it hypocritical for a minimum wage earning woman to want a high earning man? Yes, imho, especially if she is a low ambition woman who has no plans for financial success, other than marrying into it.

PoMansDreams · 2021-11-17T18:26:25+00:00

Definitely hypocritical. But women will never admit something like that.

Personally I don’t mind them being hypocritical tho. Everyone is.

No_Exercise_8670 · 2021-11-17T10:27:24+00:00

What people who advocate here for "equality of n-counts" fail to mention is that women are usually perfectly fine for settling at say 30 for a man who has less experience than her and think that he should also be fine with her experience.

When woman is more experienced then suddenly "the past is the past". When man wants low count woman - it's somehow hypocrisy.

At this point it's ironic to read stuff like this.

PlayfulLawyer · 2021-11-17T11:23:15+00:00

Neither is hypocritical to me, I just say good luck in terms of getting what you want lol, like I always say on here you're allowed to want whatever you want in a partner, just make sure that you yourself are desirable to somebody that matches your standards

CrazyBaby8891 · 2021-11-17T09:28:25+00:00

I don't think I'd call it hypocritical, but I believe it's shallow to care that much about a man's salary. Work ethic though, that's different because it's about the man's integrity instead of shallow status symbols. For example, I didn't want to marry a lazy deadbeat (laziness is a character flaw) but I didn't want a workaholic either (being addicted to work can also be a character flaw and besides, a healthy work-life balance is important to me and I wanted someone like myself whose priority would be family over work.)

xQueen-Bx · 2021-11-17T12:40:30+00:00

who cares if anything is "hypocritical"

ToughAnswers · 2021-11-17T10:05:12+00:00

Either both are hypocritical or neither are, but more importantly anyone who would sacrifice their happiness for some autistic sense of objective consistency deserves every iota of misery and suffering coming to them and more.

Orange_Paisley · 2021-11-17T12:40:22+00:00

I mean, we already mock such women and call them gold diggers. What more do you want?

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Shredddz · 2021-11-17T12:54:47+00:00

You are out of your damn mind to call this hypocritical. Its called biological differences. male high body count does not come with pair bonding issues due to biochemistry, it only correlates with the male natural urge to have sex and is possible through sex being chemically disconnected to "love" in men. The mans loyalty to provide for the women is not affected, therefore there is no negative consequence for the women. loyalty in men naturally doesnt encompass sex, because humans are hypergamous. In women its tied together, making the high body count a sure indicator of inability to love/bond/loyalty to the capacity necessary for a family. for women, loyalty does encompass sex. The natural gender "deal" is male resources vs exclusive access to the womans body. For the women to demand sexual exclusivity from men is unnatural, unjust and unequal, given the unfair deal and lack of biological need/ negative consequences. Also women with high body counts are sure to use sex as a tool to use men, since women naturally require bonding before sex and the sheer number and frequency of partners prohibits an actual relationship as a base. Its a sure indicator for bad persons/users on top of inability to bond. High bodycount women are just not fit for commitment. relationships with them are sure to fail, thats why men avoid it.

and the reverse in true for the wages but only to a degree. Its natural for women to want to feel safe and the resources for that to be provided by the man while their earning power is irrelevant to men. Beyond safety though it is just greed and craving for material goods. Also men dont complain about having to earn money of the wage difference. They know and accept that this is their role and they are naturally better at earning and just accept that.women care about low body count though because of their inabilty to provide it and obsession with being able to act like men in a world where nature just doesnt allow that.

Mrs_Drgree · 2021-11-17T15:57:25+00:00

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PopularBug5 · 2021-11-17T10:53:27+00:00

Yes, it is hypocritical.

I believe a man should also hold in high regard women who strive to better themselves and be proud and dignified grownups who don't have to rely on anyone else for a piece of bread.

What, they say? That women who have careers are assholes? Guess what genius, people who are assholes don't last long in the workplace, man or woman. And they think men are excused from developing sociopathic traits while having a career?

Hell, I've read far more stories than I can count of a boyffriend/husband treating his girl like shit because he's got monies and she should 'feel grateful' that he is even spending money for her. Similarly how the man is restraining her rights in the household because he is the sole breadwinner and that she has to listen to everything he says. Money makes right, after all.

faptemp44 · 2021-11-17T09:34:40+00:00

Depends, what does she offer? If she wants just sit her arse down doing nothing but keep draining my pocket, she can fuck off. If she agreed to bear the responbility of our house and staying with kids while I’m gone for work, aye.

If the only thing the woman could offer is “my body”, straight to the bin. No one shall marry a living sex doll.

Notanothrshitthrow · 2021-11-17T09:47:34+00:00

I would say so, though I'm of the mind that wanting something in a partner that you yourself can achieve but don't (i.e. wanting someone who goes to the gym frequently yet you don't go yourself) is hypocritical in most cases.

Educational-Ad6210 · 2021-11-17T10:19:27+00:00

The issue with n count is that it only goes up, while your wealth depends on (for the sake of the argument) how hard you work. Not hypocritical to want a low n count woman if he courts her properly and marries her so she can stay low n count before you provide her with security.

Not hypocritical to want a high earning guy, though women should look at themselves and evaluate their chances objectively.

insertcredit2 · 2021-11-17T11:09:53+00:00

There's an issue here that men and women are not the same. If you gave most men the opportunities that women have in terms of having casual sex with the top 10% of attractive people then men would be doing it. You need only look at the gay scene where male sexuality is untethered and there's a massive amount of promiscuity.

What's a realistic expectation is for your partner to be more selective than other people of the same sex. Comparing men to women is stupid.

_Oh_Be_Nice_ · 2021-11-17T13:32:47+00:00

What you want, what you deserve, and what you think you deserve are not always the same, objectively.

Many times, people paradoxically overestimate their worth to others and undervalue their own self-worth.

Being self-aware is important to building relationships on trust, and, to me, an desirable and attractive quality in a partner.

quiturbitchn · 2021-11-17T13:40:05+00:00

Yes it does outside of both people being dedicatedly tradcon but they would also be likely to both have low n as well. If it’s a lifestyle choice you should be holding others to the same standards you hold for yourself. Personally my standard is financially independent and I care less about the exact amount being made. As a result I make nearly 2x what my partner does

cccccclairee · 2021-11-17T15:29:50+00:00

Yes it’s hypocritical where both are working and intend to continue doing so. If someone wants a housewife then imo they should support that person as though that’s their “job” though. (I can not in any way relate to agreeing to that arrangement from either side of the relationship though)

Liberal_On_Guns · 2021-11-17T16:23:32+00:00

Modern women look down upon minimum wage earning women.

Don't believe me? Wait until one of these average or high-earning women get left for a woman without a job, or with a low-paying job. See how the tune changes from "I don't look down on poor people" to "He left me for some dumb bitch working at Kroger!"

radicalmeasure · 2021-11-17T17:43:21+00:00

This isn't really the tat for tat men think it is because there's a lot more social stigma regarding n-counts

2021-11-17T18:43:10+00:00

I want to support a stay at home wife, never stopped to ponder what their income actually is when dating

Abstract_Knight · 2021-11-17T20:26:00+00:00

I don't think anyone is hypocritical for wanting a men or a women with a different count.

Everyone should be allowed to be with whoever they want; the problem that we should be focusing is on the fact that sometimes, on a relationship someone could use the wealth of the other to satisfy themselves on a selfish way or take certain advantage.

dbz19 · 2021-11-18T01:36:19+00:00

[permanently deleted]

ChibsFilipTelfordd · 2021-11-18T07:22:19+00:00

Of course. I'd never want a low earner woman

BecretAlbatross · 2021-11-18T11:59:14+00:00

I think it's only hypocritical if you aren't willing to offer equal value to the man. If both people are getting what the want out of the relationship then it's fine.

silveryspoons · 2021-11-18T22:11:09+00:00

It's not hypocritical to be poor and want more money. It is hypocritical to be immoral and want everyone else to be moral for you.

Pola_Lita · 2021-11-17T10:39:44+00:00

It's hypocritical IF the one wanting the low n count isn't prepared to offer the same in return. Any reasoning that says it protects one partner also says it protects the other.

Non-hypocritical requirements would involve things that would be difficult or impossible for one partner but easier or natural for the other. Nurturing, bravery, etc. A perfect example would be the physical part of bearing kids linked with protecting and providing, at least for the window of time involved, depending on the pair's overall relationship.

januaryphilosopher · 2021-11-17T12:16:37+00:00

Minimum-wage-earning women would also tend to want to earn a high wage themselves if they could. But many people wouldn't change their n count if they could. There's also a point to be made that it's difficult for two low earners to raise a family. If someone is earning minimum wage out of choice or a lack of work ethic or something then that would be hypocritical to say that you needed someone who worked much harder than you did but that's usually not what happens.

shockedpikachuface_ · 2021-11-17T14:00:49+00:00

It's not hypocritical to expect things you yourself don't have from a partner. Men and women are very different in their desires and expectations. Are women hypocritical for wanting a tall men while they are 5'0?

Elevatedheart · 2021-11-17T15:28:08+00:00

Gender roles are just a made up construct. They don’t matter anymore.

Title	If high n count men are hypocritical for wanting low n count women - does the same apply to wealth preferences in women?
Author	ass-thetics
Upvotes	76
Comments	427
Date	November 17, 2021 9:09 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/qvvade/if_high_n_count_men_are_hypocritical_for_wanting/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/if-high-n-count-men-are-hypocritical-for-wanting.1083675 https://theredarchive.com/post/1083675

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