What is wrong with you?

Ofourkind · 2019-09-17T20:34:11+00:00

I'm prone to overwhelm. Sometimes tasks, opportunities, or goals that are daunting get me spun out to the point I get a case of the fuckits and get stuck. When I get overwhelmed, I tend to focus my energy on pointless endeavors like tweaker cleaning my already clean house instead of get to work with whatever unpleasant or intimidating task lies ahead.

Pride. I can be a huge baby about asking for help when I need it. Denial plays into this as well. It can be something as dumb as completely ignoring an illness until I'm unconscious on the floor instead of just taking a day off and going to the doctor. Luckily, this is something that has gotten significantly better with age and experience.

Judgmental, "boot straps" attitude. Probably a result of having to overcome a fuckton of obstacles and adversity to build the life I have. I tend to react well to a "suck it up" approach, but forget that not everyone appreciates that. I do know what it's like to feel powerless over a problem, so I could be more sympathetic.

Th0ma5_F0wl3r · 2019-09-17T19:53:19+00:00

If you had to take an objective and brutally honest look at yourself, what would you say is wrong with you,

Hmmm, a 'functioning' alcoholic incapable of real intimacy on either a physical or emotional level.

The closer I get to someone the more alienated from them I seem to feel until quite quickly I arrive at the point at which there are two mes and the one is watching the other in a state of real numbness carrying out some semblance of contact with the other person.

how is it detrimental to finding happiness, maintaining relationships, achieving goals, and being a well-rounded individual?

See above - I think that should just about do it, don't you?

anyone who frequents this part of the internet probably isn't normal.

Yeah, but define normal

Orange_Paisley · 2019-09-17T20:24:15+00:00

I'm introverted, passive, quiet, and slow to stand up for myself. Except when I do stand up for myself, I absolutely lose it. I would rather stay home with my dog and read a book than go out and be social. Fortunately I'm finally at the age when that is perfectly acceptable. Nobody expects the middle aged women to be out partying in the clubs.

SkookumTree · 2019-09-17T21:40:10+00:00

I have ADHD. It is medicated, but I still have very limited executive function. There's a lot of stuff around the house that doesn't get done.

I don't compete in the FSM. Or, more accurately, I participate in it just enough that my kids won't be ostracized because of my weird ways. I dropped out of the Junior League after a year and a half. I'm not on the PTA. I don't get my eyebrows threaded. Any man who cares about having a family that is "well-respected in the community" would have no use for me.

I have a short temper. I have been working on it for years, with varying degrees of success, but this is a character trait I come by honestly and have handed down to my kids.

When I get into a work groove, the rest of the world might as well not exist. I wish I had a dollar for every time I looked up at the office and found that it was 10 PM and I had a series of increasingly annoyed texts from Mr. Abrams asking where the fuck I was. (This kind of hyperfocus is characteristic of ADHD.)

I have zero patience for complaining. Venting from time to time is all right, if I am married to you, but otherwise I don't want to fucking hear about whatever bullshit is grinding your gears. This goes for everybody in my life: my sister, my friends, my children, Mr. Abrams, everybody. If it's a problem that you need help with, I am delighted to help you, but just blabbing discontent? I don't need that.

SevenDrunkMidgets · 2019-09-17T21:02:06+00:00

Highly suspect I have avoidant personality disorder or at least avoidant tendencies. Definitely have the generic depression-anxiety combo.

I also really dislike getting too involved in people's lives. I like acquaintances to stay acquaintances, which usually manifests itself as being too lazy and anxious to maintain relationships. I literally never text first and normally ghost people who text me first, which is a great way to lose friends. It's not that I don't care about people, I actually have very high empathy, anxiety is just a killer sometimes.

I tend to have the male equivalent of resting bitch face, but I am very gregarious with only those who I have known for a long time (like childhood friends).

Texastentialism · 2019-09-17T20:28:06+00:00

Depressive/melancholy disposition that can make me a downer to be around. Bouts of anxiety that often manifest physically in the form of insomnia, illness or self-destructive behaviors (namely skin-picking which has led to scarring etc.) Insecure attachment style; neediness/clinginess. Not great at "girling" when it comes to appearance-related things. Crippling fear of the unknown. Poor communication skills that make it hard for me to express my feelings, worries, desires etc. in a relationship and often lead me to bottle things up that need to be talked about. Chronic reproductive illness which may or may not have rendered me infertile, and a great deal of depression resulting from that. Passive aggression. Sexually inadventurous. Unassertive which can lead to people taking advantage of me. I also don't really have any "hobbies" or "passions" which I think is fine but is apparently some kind of mortal sin on reddit.

I also do a very good job at hiding all the aforementioned so it's not a burden to other people so everyone thinks I'm extremely well-adjusted but I'll probably die of an aneurysm at 50 or something.

_Neon_Shadow_ · 2019-09-17T20:15:42+00:00

Emotional turbulence, and periods of inaction/apathy that I later have to scramble to correct

TheJim66 · 2019-09-17T20:42:34+00:00

I'm lazy about doing things that don't interest me.

Littleknownfacts · 2019-09-17T19:59:30+00:00

(3) I can't hold a genuine human emotion for more than like 5 minutes. This has some upsides and downsides so I rank it at #3.

(2) I can't decide if I like Victoria's Secret VaVaVoom bras or the more natural bralettes so the size of my chest can vary greatly depending on the day.

(1) I can't shut my fat whore mouth. Apparently I'm an insufferable gossip which has never effected my life until about 3 months ago when I somehow acquired enough friends that would give me juicy info and other friends to blab it all to that all knew each other. I'm working on this.

Edit: Honorable mention goes to my vanity. But it's one that I feel I have to work on.

rivertorain____ · 2019-09-17T20:55:20+00:00

I have a hopelessly sensitive temperament and try to fix people, in an unconscious attempt to fix my parents (nasty divorce when I was 5, which sent them both into depression, which for whatever reason I blamed myself for).

I’m lucky though and have made a cushy life for myself. I’m a restless, type-A, flaky workaholic, generally bored with life but also wildly curious. 90% of the time I’d rather be high on ketamine.

jax006 · 2019-09-17T21:21:50+00:00

I have no confidence with attractive women and I'm not at all smooth or charismatic with them until getting comfortable for a few hours.

I also hate my social circle of dweeb engineers, but it's all I have here currently, and I'm not too sure how to really build a new one.

Other than that life is pretty great. Could always use a lite more money I guess.

SuccessfulTrader · 2019-09-17T20:11:48+00:00

Anger issues. Sense of hopelessness/meaninglessness.

WestsideMoonWalker · 2019-09-17T20:23:09+00:00

Literal autism. Mostly got a handle on it though. The other thing I've seen is that I am too laid back, and people seem to think I don't care about stuff by default.

I also don't have my career established yet, but I'm working on that actively.

neubiiAUT · 2019-09-17T20:36:31+00:00

I am scared and lazy. Scared of going out of my comfort zone, scared of failure. Lazy because i have so much time and do none with it. Being called lazy all my life. Ive been told by teachers and friends i am smart and i could accomplish anything, if i only wanted to. Yet i do nothing much with my time.

Due to being lazy, i couldnt maintain bridges i had with my friends. They just crumbled away over time. A sideeffect of being lazy is that i also dont look for social interactions anymore. It's easier being alone, than looking for social interactions. And when most effort comes from my side, then i cut things off.

Which comes to another bad Attribute. "It is never my fault". I am a master at looking for fault in someone else or something than looking at myself why i or something failed.

passwordgoeshere · 2019-09-17T21:00:43+00:00

Figurative autism. I just can't wrap my head around why people are so irrational and can't explain their behavior.

I also think way too much about small decisions and barely at all about large decisions. Sounds irrational, right?

-OpportunityCost · 2019-09-17T21:28:19+00:00

I have a hard time trusting people. I think just seeing so many people act only in self-interest has turned me cold in a way. I've grown to only really care about my family and a few close friends.

Galliend · 2019-09-17T21:47:21+00:00

Hey it's a therapy thread.

Psychologically I'm temperamentally predisposed to Cluster-C personality traits and extremely high-inhibition. This makes me unattractive to basically 100% of women and means I have to change pretty much my whole personality in order to some day be desired.

Physically I'm too damn skinny. And I'm tall and skinny which means even though I've put on 40 pounds of muscle in the past couple years, I'm still too damn skinny. I've got a ways to go but by the will of Zyzz I'll fuarkin make it bra.

webernicke · 2019-09-17T22:02:56+00:00

I'm weak, cowardly, depressed, dishonest, lazy, insecure, have shit self esteem, fatalistic, pessimistic, narcissistic, neurotic, dim-witted, arrogant, self-centered, ungrateful, unmasculine, unmotivated, undisciplined, self-pitying, self-loathing and I have a bad habit of writing run-on sentences.

EcstaticEccentric · 2019-09-17T22:52:33+00:00

I’m never satisfied with anything, from personal relationships (and lack thereof) to artistic and intellectual pursuits. Boredom is my residual emotion, and no hobby or interest has been able to replace it or distract me from it. From boredom I become irritable, and my irritability leads me to irrationality, and my irrationality leads to outbursts. Today my puppy just wanted to play, but even though I was just lounging in bed doing nothing I wouldn’t entertain her, and when she started getting feisty I yelled at her when she did nothing to deserve it.
Irresponsibility. I’m 24 with no practical skills, $8.24 in my checking account, $5.00 in my savings account, and I work a dead-end job at a coffee shop. I’m impulsive and can’t seem to comprehend how to manage money, or even how to go about understanding what ‘money’ really is- even with an awareness of this. I frequently buy things I don’t need, from books I’ll barely read to pens that I won’t even use, to drugs that I rationalize are beneficial. I’ve been on and off in college, and currently I missed the dorm application and couldn’t get on-campus housing, and apartments were too costly so even though I managed to finally get free of community college and into a university I’ve only been able to attend one semester, and now I’m back where I began.
Unnecessary arrogance entangled with perpetual self-sabotage and persistent self-doubt. I’m highly critical of people I deem “lesser” than me, and I find it honestly disgusting. I know I’m projecting my insecurities and only critiquing the part of myself I see in others that I hate, but even with awareness of that it still creeps up. I preach love for all but all around I just see muck, usually emanating from myself so that it colors the people around me, and no one deserves that.
From a culmination of my flaws I’ve been single for over 3 years, I’ve only had one girlfriend and I was a very toxic person. I’m averagely attractive, but I know how I “am” and I want to spare others from myself, but even that leads me to rejecting people that are interested in me, and it makes me feel bad that I have to put people in that position. I’ve tried the hookup scene but I’m not very sexual, and that’s put me in positions where I’ve felt obligated to pleasure the other person at my expense, and from my inability to assert myself it has only led me to feel more negative about myself and my situation, and that only leads me to “Why am I only obsessed with myself and how I feel”, so I’m in some strange feedback loop, witch again leads to my irresponsibility in that I can’t even take of myself.

— I’m a bit lost, I don’t really know what to do. I just lurk Reddit, others are much worse off than me, but I’m so self-obsessed that I’m blinded.

statusincorporated · 2019-09-18T00:04:21+00:00

What can I say that Right Said Fred didn't already say?

wtknight · 2019-09-17T19:50:13+00:00

I’m in a happy marriage. There’s nothing wrong with me other than the growing realization of my own aging and mortality that every human faces.

SmurfESmurferson · 2019-09-17T20:20:04+00:00

Explosive temper when I get angry (which, thankfully, I have a lot of patience before I lose it. But when I lose it, it’s epic)

My love of my animals means that you will leave my house covered in fur. Even if you stand the entire time and don’t interact with them

When I shut down on a friendship or relationship, it’s like a switch flips. I become someone unrecognizable to the other person

Large boobs. I don’t know when that became a negative, but now that I’m single again, I can’t tell you how often I’ve been told “I’m normally more of an ass guy” (and guys, stop using that as a pick up line!)

EDIT: I can’t believe I forgot this one, but OCD. I fall pretty far on the obsessive side it, which means I can drive myself borderline insane at times with disruptive thoughts

slavicgypsygirl · 2019-09-17T21:23:59+00:00

I have ptsd related problems with impulsive behaviour & hypersexuality

shoup88 · 2019-09-18T06:49:49+00:00

I’m an alcoholic and compulsive liar. I’ll lie about small things that aren’t even really a big deal because it just seems easier sometimes. I’m a people pleaser and will go out of my way to do things for people, and if they then begin relying on me I’ll resent them for it.

I’m extroverted and get very bored and boring if I have nothing going on. I like to go out 4-5 times a week.

I’m much healthier and happier than I used to be though. I quit drinking 3 years ago.

flamingoinghome · 2019-09-18T11:42:12+00:00

I'm extremely neurotic, and have struggled with a cocktail of anxiety/depression/ptsd for a long time, though good therapy helped a lot.

I'm stupidly devoted to a slightly ridiculous career path that in many ways makes my life much harder than it has to be.

I suspect I'm somewhere on the spectrum/ in its neighborhood.

I don't always take good care of my body, particularly when I'm stressed.

I want so badly to believe the best in people that I can be an idiot and overlook red flags and people being unkind to me (note; this is not a romantic relationships thing; it's people in general).

I'm not particularly "fun" and never have been; I'm legitimately inept at clubbing, for instance, and I'm frightened by any drug harder than weed. I do try and make up for it with my own hobbies/interests, though, even if they're more off-center.

darla10 · 2019-09-18T12:03:26+00:00

I am romantically insecure and jealous. My husband found it cute until it wasn’t.

I have a temper. My kids are sometimes scared of me. I yell at them then regret it terribly.

I grew up in a family of impoverished UMC hippies who thought it ‘tacky’ to worry about money. The disconnect between my parents’ rose colored bohemian perspective and the reality we actually experienced installed in me a permanent anxiety over money. I have recurring nightmares of living in a scummy tent inside a hippie compound.

I care too much what other people think of me.

I am too insecure to be as ambitious as I want to be.

318RedPill · 2019-09-17T20:01:48+00:00

Laziness

praisethesun799 · 2019-09-17T21:08:10+00:00

Other than drinking wayyy to much on and off the job , I'm pretty fantastic lol so sober boring people might think that's a negative

I might be too privileged lol ? From some people here that's a negative apparently 🤔

Spurius85 · 2019-09-17T22:26:09+00:00

I'm the most content I've ever been, my goals are on track and I've got a life that I could only dream about a decade ago. My needs are super simple, but they are all met.

I'm bored though. I seriously want to just break something, it's this same weird feeling that a child would get when he sees something expensive, and he just wants to watch it break into a thousand pieces. I genuinely thought I would get into helping men with their demons as my mission, but that desire just went right out of me. Dudes are just ungrateful pricks most of the time and I just want to be left alone now. Like I said though I'm bored.

I'm thinking I'm gonna sell my stuff and get a train pass and just explore my country, spend a couple nights in every city that the train stops at. I always believed that an American oughta know his country intimately.

blackKat007 · 2019-09-17T22:31:18+00:00

I have trouble trusting people, have to know the ins and outs of them fully and be able to discuss everything. I ask too many questions as a result and most people don't want to get close in such an artificial way. I'm also very easily irritated by people who don't follow social norms.

katymarx · 2019-09-17T22:33:38+00:00

Borderline Personality Disorder

Procrastination

Addiction Issues - currently Reddit, beats cocaine tho

Unpredictable drunk, blacks out easily and can't remember what the fuck I said or did that really pissed someone off

ariesv123 · 2019-09-17T22:49:23+00:00

In no particular order.

-I’m a very outgoing and warm person socially and due to this people often find it easy to open up to me and be vulnerable, even people that usually keep that stuff really under tight wraps, but ask me to be vulnerable with someone and I absolutely refuse to in fear it’ll be used against me. I think this came from my older sister who would often get me to confide in her to feed her narcissistic supply, which I think is a reason for the other two things listed.

-I downplay my emotions by A LOT.

-I’m too worried about embarrassing someone else simply by me being there.

These are my biggest flaws and all of these screwed me over big time in my last relationship (I hated making him feel unloved or uncared for) and it took me a long ass time to stop, but I know I still exhibit these when not with him, the last one i’m still not over in any circumstance.

ETA: I pick myself a part way too much to the point where it affects a lot of the things I do and I end up missing out on stuff and even ruining other people’s good time. I also have a hard time with not being apathetic. It comes out at the worst fucking times.

ToraChan23 · 2019-09-17T22:56:44+00:00

I don't trust anyone, and believe even the most graceful acts of kindness have a self-serving ulterior motive.

we-are-men-with-ven · 2019-09-17T23:02:57+00:00

I haven't talked to my father in two years, I haven't told him why I'm not speaking to him, or addressed this in any way at all. I can't seem to confront him with my feelings.

My thoughts during masturbation are...questionable.

I am completely retarded when it comes to organising time, this is something that's really hard to articulate however I'm starting to think I've had some brain damage at some point..

BenKent6 · 2019-09-17T23:14:57+00:00

Having an ugly face is my major one. Been rejected by pretty much every girl I've tried to date. I'm 6'2 and muscular so that's not the issue. The fact the only way to fix this issue will be CS is frustrating as I have to wait until I have the money. I also have some mental health problems, they're mostly controlled though. I get the odd flare up, but oh well! Also, I got out of shape in the last year due to academic stress. This is being swiftly rectified (over 15kg down already). Apart from that, I'm doing good. Graduated with top honours in aerospace engineering, starting a masters soon.

megazordwhippin · 2019-09-17T23:28:19+00:00

-Intimacy issues -Low self-esteem to the level that it’s difficult to recognize compliments and engage -bad sense of focus

cxj · 2019-09-17T23:28:53+00:00

I’m eccentric and disagreeable . I’m also average height.

[deleted] · 2019-09-17T23:51:31+00:00

Too busy hating the position society put me in instead of at least making life a little more tolerable.

AggravatingTartlet · 2019-09-18T00:18:01+00:00

I spend too much time in PPD.

[deleted] · 2019-09-18T00:45:22+00:00

Hey, it’s my speciality, talking about what’s wrong with me.

Anyway, I’m short and I have an average face. Now this wouldn’t be a problem, if the fact that my looks have led to an absolutely awful sense of self that no matter what I do doesn’t go away and thus prevents me from being happy. Seriously, name it, I’ve tried it. Drugs, alcohol, different hobbies, fulfilling careers, pets, therapy, depression meds, all of it and it just won’t stop. Simply put the only way I can ever be happy is if I was Chad and could have a bunch of casual sex and validation for my looks. Validation for my looks is the only thing that could ever make me happy. And that is simply what’s wrong with me, it’s there, and nothing really makes it go away even after trying as much as i possibly could.

That being said it doesn’t prevent me from having fulfilling relationships, or keeping friendships, or getting up in the morning and going to work, or doing my hobbies. By all means I’ve accepted where I am on the attractiveness scale and I’ve reached my limit, I’m just going to be miserable about it forever.

CandleLess · 2019-09-18T00:49:09+00:00

I have terrible self esteem and constantly try to improve myself to escape feelings of inadequacy. I am afraid of asking girls out/ trying to get hookups. Those two aspects of my life essentially kill the chance of dating a girl who doesn't make the first move and the first one is very detrimental to forming relationships and being happy

DerEwigeKatzendame · 2019-09-18T01:26:55+00:00

I love lists!

-awk af Missed out on a lot of early socializing bc I had a hard time making friends in some extremely cliquey environments.

-kinda intimidating 5'9", stoic, graceful and tsundere. Can build a fire better than you can. Gives out gifts like pepper spray and emotional support pry bars to lady friends. On the bright side, guys feel safer if their gfs go out in my company.

-hearty cooking style It's edible, it's nutritious, and heavily spiced to compensate for how simple it is. This is a downside for people who are used to eating out or cooking fancy things. I'm working on developing past this.

-detail oriented I remember things you said once, drunk, five months ago. This becomes a problem when the narrative changes, so I check. Not an issue if you're honest, but many hate being called out.

sicoks · 2019-09-18T02:22:41+00:00

I care way too much what others think

_Tumbleweed- · 2019-09-17T20:56:36+00:00

Lacks empathy

Loves money

Loves drugs

Posts nudes on gonewild

Watches violent porn

Swears a lot

Other than that I’m pretty cool.

Aaren_Augustine · 2019-09-17T20:32:08+00:00

That I have been a nutty angsty book writer that seems to have all the same issues most angsty "artists" do with substance abuse or booze and I've had to put in a lot of work not to crash and burn in loserville like so may others like me.

Most of that has run it's course now and I'm able to level out and be consistent. The future is bright but I feel WAY too comfortable burning shit to the ground.

darudeboysandstorm · 2019-09-17T20:56:16+00:00

God complex and if I dont want to do something I have no problem flaking on plans.

crystal_wb · 2019-09-17T20:56:37+00:00

Physically speaking im a little too chubby, I don't have the prettiest face and having shaved off my hair in the beginning of the year I'm experiencing a lot of guys being weirded out by my short hair.

Personality wise my biggest problem is that I take a long time to warm up to people. I also have too high standards, considering specific traits. I often over-analyze people and rule them out for a relationship pretty soon after meeting them, even if theyd actually be a good catch.

But overall I don't feel like these things keep me from finding happiness, maintaining relationships, achieving goals or being a well-rounded individual.

churnthrowaway123456 · 2019-09-17T21:37:37+00:00

Mommy issues (she's a needy narcissist). Internet addiction from a young age. Have a mean streak

yasee · 2019-09-17T22:04:32+00:00

I'm too competitive and I have issues with anxiety

Believeinyourflyness · 2019-09-17T22:13:05+00:00

Aspergers. Struggle to form relationships and relate to other people. Socially disconnected, lonely life.

Also lack self-discipline which has prevented me from achieving my goals

Pontifex_Lucious-II · 2019-09-17T22:35:52+00:00

1) Addiction

slytherlune · 2019-09-17T22:45:57+00:00

More of my Grandma Mavis in me than is healthy, a honey of an anxiety disorder, and social teeth that really want repairing but this insurance is pretty bad.

[edit] Okay, so how's it holding me back? Er... Grandma Mavis was a bitch. And that's being kind. She was abusive, she was crass, and I'm not sure she was all there. In terms of the anxiety disorder, driving more than three minutes is not happening. The tooth thing should be fairly obvious.

Thounumber1 · 2019-09-17T22:47:19+00:00

I'm not very smooth/witty, I don't like to party/drink, and and I'm more health conscious. Based on what I read here on PPD, this means I'm basically screwed in the dating market. I know I have other qualities, but I sometimes feel like they are negated based on those aforementioned things.

I can also be somewhat argumentative and I get annoyed very easily. The latter I try to just keep to myself though, and the former I am working on.

CaptDeadlift · 2019-09-17T22:51:21+00:00

I grew up in a poor home and now I find myself really frugal.

I currently work 3 jobs and own a decently sized company at age 21 (have a contract with a food chain) with a engineering degree coming on it's way so you probably guessed it , I make a decent living yet I find it really hard to shell out money for anything..

I think I am slowly getting over it as I bought my SO 3 pairs of fairly expensive shoes ( I consider anything above 80-100 euro expensive) and didn't mind it one bit.

I also focus too much on maximizing money making and lifting but that is a part of me so yeah.

tyty20188 · 2019-09-17T23:15:09+00:00

I am obsessed with drama.

Although I haven’t been directly involved in anything for over a year, I crave it. I constantly bring up old, tired situations in an effort to feel excitement in my life. I don’t have any serious hobbies or passions. I procrastinate on just about everything. I am indecisive and at the same time make decisions impulsively at times.

I know what I’m doing in regards to certain things but I am trying to develop myself control. I don’t really know who I am but I am trying to figure it out. And failing. Lol

couldbemage · 2019-09-18T00:35:25+00:00

Probably a sociopath. It's really not a problem. Surrounded by people who love and adore me, relationships and sex are easy. I'm pretty happy, and key to that was finding a career that didn't leave me so bored as to make being a bum seem like a decent alternative choice.

So I assume other people might consider being a bad person to be a flaw, but I don't see it that way.

Brazilian_Slaughter · 2019-09-18T03:16:14+00:00

Lazy
Procastinator
Forgetful
Don't have a job
Five kilos overweight. It shows.
Sedentary.

trippymantis · 2019-09-18T03:33:13+00:00

I’m emotionally unavailable

HumanSockPuppet · 2019-09-18T05:34:05+00:00

I take men who are ripe for exploitation by the feminine imperative and lead them astray. I teach them that their lives are valuable for their own sake, and I show them how to demand respect and appreciation for their precious time and effort.

I'm a monster.

binkerfluid · 2019-09-18T06:37:08+00:00

The part of my brain that tells me to kill myself every day and robs me of the energy to do most things.

The fact that I basically have zero self esteem. Im in a job where I get a lot of praise and its a very public job but it never means anything to me because internally I know im garbage.

When I was a kid I was picked on a lot and never fit in and I never got to be normal I guess. I changed schools a lot so I didnt have friends for very long.

I had the first woman I ever really loved cheat on me and the mother of my child who I intended to spend the rest of my life cheat on me. I bounced back a bit from most of that but after that last one I dont think Ill ever come back.

its been over a year and I havent gone on a single date and I dont think I will.

URETHRAL_DIARRHEA · 2019-09-18T07:06:29+00:00

I'm chronically depressed and anxious, comorbid with severe ADHD. This causes me to be lazy and unconfident. I cope with a ton of exercise and weed. And rely on Adderall for getting schoolwork done; thankfully, I'm graduating college in a few months.

Gravel_Roads · 2019-09-18T07:30:43+00:00

I'm super disorganized and flakey. I don't like people depending on me to the point that I withold a lot of general social attention by default. I don't think this is necessarily fair to anyone, but it's something people have to deal with if they spend too much time around me.

petrichordium · 2019-09-17T20:28:10+00:00

I have been totally sex ruined and slut widowed by enough interesting and open minded women during their exploratory years to ever be domesticated for anything remotely similar to a typical arrangement involving monogamy. Even exes settling down would probably be insufficient for me at this point. I can even point to a specific evening in Bangkok at 22 where it all went downhill. Also women really seem to like prettyboy twinks more in their younger years and so somehow i am still dating undergrad aged women in my thirties and it’s not sustainable and i have no clue what i will do when that stops being possible, especially since being a straight ish twink is kinda niche. Oh also i am heteroromantically bisexual which means way too gay for most straight and even bi women but not nearly gay enough to take complete refuge in homosexuality.

philomexa · 2019-09-17T20:43:47+00:00

I have autism (legit dx) and an incredibly privileged life which makes me obnoxiously tone deaf.

Fighting with my husband, or empathizing with my friends is hard because I overwhelmingly don't....hmm...get it. Whatever 'it' is doesn't translate, so I don't care which is apparently very hurtful to people that are emotionally invested in me.

It's not that I don't care about them, I just have a hard time caring about their feelings because I don't understand or recognize them.

My best friend could be crying on my shoulder about a broken relationship, but instead of offering comfort (which I don't comprehend outside of the parent-child relationship) I'm confused and slightly irritated. Why is she so upset over the end of a relationship? that just means she's free to move on to something better if she chooses. Apparently thats the wrong instinct and thought process to have in that sort of situation.

For most of my life I've been referred to as an ice queen or a robot by various people. It used to bother me when I was younger because I felt like an alien in human skin. It sent me into a deep depression in my teens, always feeling like I was wrong or defective, but I could never pinpoint why I felt that way. My parents were upstanding people that showered me in love and self esteem, no major troubles besides some freak trauma (that I've largely resolved) when I was 14. I had everything but I couldn't escape feeling like a defective human that couldn't parse this relatability that everyone else took for granted.

Pack all of that in with wealth and beauty and I was/am pretty insufferable.

reluctantly_red · 2019-09-17T20:03:06+00:00

Just because you're not normal doesn't mean there is something wrong with you.

SeverianSaratsi · 2019-09-17T20:54:32+00:00

Near constant self hatred and doubt complimented by a cynical nihilistic world view.

_Neon_Shadow_ · 2019-09-17T21:19:31+00:00

Too much swag.

Hennythepainaway · 2019-09-17T21:26:55+00:00

My biggest relationship problem is I'm terrible at keeping in touch.

I really don't have to contact people who aren't in my city for months at a time. I just don't get the urge. I guess I'm pretty lucky with my friends cause they're the ones who hit me up if I haven't heard from them in awhile. I don't like texting so I don't feel the need to do it.

I had this close friend in college my freshman year. We were rooming together my sophmore year. I contacted him only once or twice over that summer cause I was doing my own thing with other people. A few other friends commented that was weird. I didn't even register that what I was doing wasn't typical.

It's not that big of a problem with my guy friends because when we reconnect, we always pick up where we left off. Girlfriends and friends that are girls can get slighted with this behavior.

Also might be a bit of a narcissist. How can someone tell?

azngirl7689 · 2019-09-17T21:48:30+00:00

I am very much a Cash on Delivery person. No one gets anything until they prove the product is coming or the product is in hand. Admittedly this is pretty untrusting but I can’t do promises anymore. Not after being lied to (to my FACE) for so long.

buartha · 2019-09-17T23:08:25+00:00

Neurotic, standoffish to the point of rudeness to people I don't know, can't really be trusted around alcohol if left to my own devices, emotionally unstable (depression and PTSD), paranoid and jealous. Pretty much my only saving grace in these regards is that I'm fairly private with my negative feelings and unless things are very very bad I'm the only one who hears about most of the unpleasant stuff

I'm cracker at baking though, which I assume compensates for all of the above.

finding happiness, maintaining relationships, achieving goals, and being a well-rounded individual?

I don't think I'd be a very 'happy' or well rounded person regardless of my situation, but in terms of relationships I have a husband who I love a lot (and who puts up with a lot.) I sometimes feel like I would like to do more high stress/ rewarding stuff, but I think at the moment I'm probably striking as good a balance between what I want to do and what I can do without causing me too much stress.

insultin_crayon · 2019-09-17T23:16:24+00:00

Small boobs.

Sionnach1776 · 2019-09-18T02:26:07+00:00

Laziness, poor discipline, anger, low self-esteem, and a tendency to over-think things.

Fairly common I think.

captvell · 2019-09-18T02:48:22+00:00

i’m extremely prideful and obsessed with my own self image.

FalseButterscotch0 · 2019-09-18T03:42:54+00:00

Anxiety, especially how it causes social anxiety, sensitivity, defensiveness, and ego-protecting. It's hard to be vulnerable or even empathetic and interested in others when you're so busy protecting your ego. The few times I'm able to let go of that some I feel so much better and am able to connect so much better with others.

Bekiala · 2019-09-18T03:50:48+00:00

Depressive. Lazy. I don't finish projects. Also I'm a big zero on the career front.

I spend way too much time on netflix, internet and knitting. I can't see this being appealing for a partner.

Ant1matter8 · 2019-09-18T08:13:01+00:00

Idk by wrong with me but i know what is detrimental to achieving goals and being well rounded individual.

I have Antisocial Personality Disorder and it is a detriment when it comes to achieving goals or giving a shit enough about stuff like that.

Imagine lacking deep passion for shit, imagine lacking any self esteem or ego problems, basically having huge ego yet it is completely detached, you ALWAYS feel content with yourself and never experience any negative feelings about yourself, imagine that, you are so content that to you it really fucking wouldn't matter if you achieved shit unless it is for the benefit of money or easier life.

It makes this shit difficult, it requires fuckton of effort. That's about it i guess, anything else about me imo is an advantage or something that i am indifferent about.

mayoayox · 2019-09-18T11:01:46+00:00

I have trouble admitting im wrong, which can make holding down a relationship impossible

OneTrueQ · 2019-09-18T11:09:02+00:00

I’m too much. I’m too intense all the time I’m either on 10 or depressed 0. Thus I can be moody. Idk what to do about it. Plus I’m anxious and impatient when I feel like there is a threat to me no matter how small.

[deleted] · 2019-09-18T12:56:34+00:00

Neurotic, trust issues, probably some mild autism, I don't know how to "chill", I'll never let go of that feeling of being the weird kid on the playground nobody liked. That feeling follows me around, no matter how much I change my appearance or do things to prove to myself that people find me attractive and likeable. Also I fall in love really slow and by the time I realize I'm interested in a guy, he's been my friend for so long that he wouldn't date me because he knows too much.

I'm an astrology bitch no matter how much y'all hate to see it, I have venus opposition neptune. Venus related areas, love/beauty/relationships/friendships/femininity are my weakest areas. No water in my chart. Prone to insecurity, lack of identity, emotional constipation (clinical term), inability to express my emotions, I can't "be still" or "lean back".

MisterJose · 2019-09-18T13:47:32+00:00

I can tell you what's wrong. I can tell you what solutions are. But I simply cannot get myself into action to implement them. Every time I go to a psychologist, that is the pattern: I already knew everything they wind up telling me, I already know what they were going to say I should do, but I just...don't do it.

Literally right now, I KNOW what the perfect today looks like. I know I should go get a healthy breakfast, do some work on my business, prepare thoroughly for a client, do a really solid 45 minute gym routine, take care of chores that I've been lagging on, etc. I even told myself I was going to do all those things.

And yet, what am I actually doing? Going on reddit. Thinking maybe I'll jerk off before watching some TV, and then spending 10 minutes preparing for that client and then mostly winging it.

One day soon, I'll have trouble falling asleep because I'm thinking about the state of my life, how old I am, how unbearable it is to be in this place, etc. It will be unbearably painful. And to sate myself...I'll jerk off and go on reddit again. Rinse and repeat.

ThisIsJustATr1bute · 2019-09-19T02:12:57+00:00

Too sensitive. Paranoid. Manic Depressive. Did not get acceptance in early life and so overly seek it from people now in a way that isn’t really possible. Then get devastated when they can’t live up to it. Also take relationships too seriously. Assume everyone hates me unless they go out of their way to show otherwise. Absolutely hate working on anything I don’t enjoy. When I do work I get lost and a whole summer can go by alone working on web design. Can be exceptionally lazy. Prone to bouts of cynicism where I don’t enjoy anything. Scared of other women. Scared of men socially, for no reason. Scared of marriage and babies. Hold people to unfair standards. Too blunt at times and too quiet at other times. Cripplingly indecisive / commitment phobic. Sarcastic. Horrible procrastinator. Low attention span. Sweet tooth. Pride. Prone to flip into humor mode where I lol at everything and it’s all a joke, even inappropriately. Flight risk. Just want to drive into the sunset forever. Or quit it all and live on a surf island. Escape into religion and spirituality to the point it’s irresponsible at times. I have intellectual pride around faith and look down on people who scoff at faith. Always read into things and assume it’s all a mystery I need to interpret when it really isn’t. Too strong willed—can’t tolerate weak willed people for close relationships but also butt heads with the strong willed ones. Bad at boundaries. I treat everything like it’s the childhood crisis I went through and that me and the people with me need to trauma bond and stick it out come hell or high water and trust no one; that’s what I value in relationships and it’s annoying to people who are able to be more lighthearted, which then makes me feel insulted like they just want amusement and I want DEPTH. Confrontational. Trust no one. I read my horoscope as a middle schooler and took all the bad parts to heart. I thought I was cursed from 7-14 because I broke a mirror. Irritable, over stupid small stuff, occasional terrible temper, I know exercise fixes the irritability though.

Physical: sweet tooth, baking as therapy, asthma-allergies, blacking out when I stand up and fainting.
Insomnia and delayed sleep phase disorder.

A lot of this stuff has gotten better.

poppy_blu · 2019-09-17T23:45:25+00:00

I really like to argue especially with people with conservative and misogynistic views. Most people don't care for that IRL.

DOSGAMES · 2019-09-17T20:27:40+00:00

An acute case of ADHD which is still prominent into my 30s.

Occasional bouts of Mania.

Addictive personality.

Lingering Anti Social Personality Disorder. (Luckily I got most of this addressed when I was a teenager)

Beyond that I’m golden. And I think my positive traits outweigh all my negatives.

Thank God I had good parents and got the support I needed early on.

ItsOverBoyosLDAR · 2019-09-17T20:41:36+00:00

Bad facial aesthetics, manlet, not white, low IQ, no worthwile education, laziness, apathy, self hate, ...

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mandoa_sky · 2019-09-17T23:25:41+00:00

Ptsd. Therapy is slow but I’m getting there

PlainSlim · 2019-09-18T00:23:24+00:00

I'm not super social, partially due to introversion, partially due to pride (if I get annoyed with someone I'm not one to try to repair the friendship, I feel they should come to me), partially due to mild social anxiety.

Then of the small group of people I actually do meet, I am very picky in terms of attraction. I just rarely feel attracted to someone, and when I do, it's rare they're attracted to me.

I feel like other areas of my life I do all right, I've got a pretty good job, I stay in shape and eat healthy, got relatively lucky in terms of looks, I'm close with my family. But I just never 'got' the relationship thing, and finding solid friends has been hit or miss depending on the period I'm at in my life :/

bonobo-no · 2019-09-18T01:44:08+00:00

Autism, anxiety, ugliness.

SDW137 · 2019-09-18T03:01:06+00:00

Not a 10/10, not rich, I have high standards, and my parents got divorced when I was 10. They had an arranged marriage, and the reason why they divorced was because my dad was physically and verbally abusive. I'm 23 and have still yet to be in a relationship. I can't ask my parents about relationship advice so I'd have to ask my brother or my friends.

Willow-girl · 2019-09-18T04:24:03+00:00

My man would say it's the fact I put mayo or ranch dressing on everything.

TopOccasion29 · 2019-09-18T04:33:52+00:00

I'm vindictive and I quickly and easily get attached to women who possess and display nurturing instinct (this includes women in my social circle and dating prospects in any setting). This is due to emotional pain caused from a cold & distant biological mother, foster mother and step mother LMAO.

Overall i'm pretty ok with everything in life. I'll be done with college soon. I'm great physically, socially, mentally and financially(for my age haha). I'm proud of myself for overcoming my hardships despite emotional scarring by most of the mother figures in my life.

RandomAttackHelpMe · 2019-09-18T05:00:43+00:00

Habits, beliefs, warped self image, tunnel vision, an empty void, anxiety, self consciousness of inexperience, lack of support/emotional closeness for long periods of time, not being able to break the habits and try and change, growing up in an alcoholic home with a distant father, getting ideas of sex from porn, weight problems, always been kind of fat, few years back lost a lot of weight and looked good, trying for that again, trust issues, wanting love and commitment and all that but not knowing how to find it, resentments/jealousies, I think I have gotten better at maintaining relationships in some areas though, I am trying to achieve the goal of graduating from school but hit a road bump recently, I am like 98% close to finishing. I'd say more but I think that sums up a lot.

darksoldierk · 2019-09-18T05:17:23+00:00

I am happy. I've become someone I'm proud of, someone I'm happy to be, I've accomplished my career goals, I've accomplished my goals of learning some of the things that I wanted to learn ever since I was 2. I have plans to accomplish more goals that I need to finish. I am, in all respects, a well-rounded individual by most if not all definitions. Some rough edges and all ,but I'll get those all fixed up.

What's wrong is, I don't understand why I have to change who I am, why I have to change the person that makes me happy, the person that's doing great, into someone else, someone that I don't want to be, in order to keep my relationship. I had to change who I am to get into every relationship I've been in, and that's why I refuse to let her move in. In my house, I'm me, the real me. The only me I want to be. But that me isn't enough for women, for any woman, not just her. I have to be a different me in front of her, and if I move on from her, I'd have to be a different me to attract another woman, and continue with this charade.

And if I don't put on this Charade, then I don't get to move on with my life. I won't get to have kids. I'll be exactly where I am. I'll continue to be happy, I'll check off every accomplishment on my bucket list, I'll live comfortably, 'll see the world and I'll die content, and I guess that would be fine. But a part of me doesn't want to stagnate, a part of me doesn't want to die content, A part of me wants to die surrounded by my children, and my children's children. It's a pipe dream, no one ever died like that anyways, I know, but I'd like to be able to say I tried. Now, I don't think kids are all that valuable to my happiness, I don't think they'd make me any happier, but I don't know, I've never had kids, I'd like to try it. But in order to do that, I first have to put a mask on every time I walk out my front door, and eventually, I'll have to wear that mask 24/7. Why? Because if I don't, our society allows her to take my kids away from me. To make me nothing more to my kids than "that guy who does fun things with us every other weekend" and eventually to my kids I'll be " that guy I 'm forced to waste my weekend on".

So am I normal? Probably not. And reading this, you probably think I'm a psychopath, and that's okay. Or maybe you think that I am underestimating women's abilities to love men for who they truly are, but the truth is, I'm not.

Whisper · 2019-09-18T06:51:16+00:00

I crack my eggs on the small end.

finch2200 · 2019-09-18T21:38:36+00:00

Strong desire for companionship yet seemingly no motivation to pursue it.

TrueReligionGenes · 2019-09-19T15:21:17+00:00

Not masculine enough in terms of frame/bone size.

rus9384 · 2019-09-17T21:34:03+00:00

Wrong as in abnormal? I ideologically oppose marriage and commitment.

So far people seem to equate wrong with bad, but everyone has downsides and when you are saying

anyone who frequents this part of the internet probably isn't normal.

It does not seem it's what you are asking.

brander20 · 2019-09-17T20:25:05+00:00

I don't take my online persona as seriously as I should sometimes. I forget sometimes the degree of which some people not having lives is multiplied into their energy to construct false characters, play vague social roles, and manifest attributes in text. I couple sincerity with a mock persona to such extremes that I sometimes get caught up in my pretenses or role playing to such an extent that I make people believe that these self-concepts are truly my own. In the same vein, I make promises that are hard for me to keep, due to lack of consistent desire. Basically, I'm a lazy Sadist/flip who needs encouragement to consensually disrespect women, (girls).

MyDogLovesCorn · 2019-09-17T20:35:23+00:00

Why I'm single:

Currently bulking so I now only have a six pack in favorable lighting with a pump. Body fat makes a big difference to how attractive my face is. I was far more attractive before I began bulking this summer.
Minority. My interests, SES, career, etc. all unfortunately means that white people are like 80% of who I'm interacting with.
More genuinely intelligent, worldly, and curious than average. It makes it harder to be genuinely interested in someone. It sounds arrogant, but it is true. I have a STEM diploma but I've read more Russian literature and American classics than your average English major. I'm also more acutely aware of present-day politics, often being able to out-talk poli-sci majors. My point is this: it's just hard for me to do small talk or find people with my same intellectual drive who aren't either weirdos or pretentious toffs. At my Ivy League school, EVERYONE was well traveled and read "great books"...but it was all very superficial, just to help them look more polished for that 6-figure-out-of-college-job.
I'm an immigrant who has actually seen what "hard lives" are like. I'm honestly repulsed by the average Becky because of how spoiled they are, and I simply can't hide disgust no matter how hot someone is. Also makes it harder to find someone because I can't date someone who isn't grateful and can't be content.
Too busy. In college I was too busy studying. Now I actually have more free time now than I did in school even though I have a white collar job, but I'm trying to switch careers (from tech to banking) so having to learn new shit means I just have no free time to "go on the prowl".
See above. Because I'm too busy and moved to a new city, I have a smaller social circle than I'm used to. Smaller social circle = less warm opportunities to meet someone.

Title	What is wrong with you?
Author	_Neon_Shadow_
Upvotes	80
Comments	288
Date	September 17, 2019 7:46 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/d5m4zf/what_is_wrong_with_you/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/what-is-wrong-with-you.253833 https://theredarchive.com/post/253833

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