If a guy vehemently hates cats, run.

notreallyhere123456 · 2020-09-15T18:58:58+00:00

I told a man I dated for 2 months, after he launched into an impromptu monologue on his hatred of cats, that it was a sign of misogyny. He was very insulted. We broke up shortly thereafter but not before he asked me whether I could orgasm from cervical stimulation. I looked horrified and told him to never ever touch anyone’s cervix, unless he’s on an obgyn rotation and, really, not even then. Then he said, “you’re so arrogant. You think you know everything because you’re a doctor.” And I said, “nope, I think I know everything because I have a cervix.” Then we broke up. And now I feel a little nauseated when I realize I dated him for two month. Ugh.

Longirl · 2020-09-15T17:05:19+00:00

I commented on this earlier and I agree 100%! My boy’s got my back. The only man I need.

LizardInFirst · 2020-09-15T19:37:36+00:00

I once went on a first date with a NVM who told me that my cats weren’t a problem because I could just get rid of them. I got rid of him instead.

myousername · 2020-09-15T17:37:11+00:00

My BFF has a cat who is very aloof. He is loving to my friend, but if a stranger tries to pet him or even look at him for too long, he hides under the bed or on the top of something high like a bookshelf/fridge.

For the longest time I mostly ignored him, sometimes I forgot he is even there until I look up at the shelf and he's just staring at us, always watching.

Anyways one day, I was sitting on the couch watching TV with my friend and he just hops up onto my lap and bunted my hand, then just sorta does a few circles like "this place is fine" and curls into a little ball.

In that moment I was so shocked and happy like "OMG I AM THE CHOSEN ONE" 😻😻😻

You cannot force a cat to do anything, if you want it to like you, it needs the freedom to come to you only when he chooses it.

pickmieshaexorcist · 2020-09-15T17:50:28+00:00

There’s also the fact that cats are associated with the feminine (at least in America). The “dogs are boys, cats are girls” concept is so popular it’s a TV Trope. So if a guy is really macho and hates cats because he thinks liking cats is sissy shit, well.....🚩

theawkwardalli · 2020-09-15T18:12:07+00:00

You totally reminded me of a somewhat recent interaction I had on OLD!

Hinge has prompts that you can answer to help show off your personality. A newer prompt they came out with is “What’s a social cause you care about?” I answered about how there’s a huge overpopulation problem with cats (especially strays) reproducing and how I’m all for TNR programs (trap, neuter, release) and want to foster kittens someday.

A man liked this prompt and asked if I had fostered any yet. When I told him no but I’ve bottle fed a baby kitten, he told me I was Satan for not liking dogs. WHEN DID I EVER SAY THAT? I didn’t respond to his neg, but I just couldn’t believe he would assume that since I like one, I can’t like the other. WTF

Deadgirl1888 · 2020-09-15T18:15:06+00:00

So true. Also you should never leave your cats alone with someone who says they hate cats. I noticed my cat started acting weird after a month of my ex living with us. I'm sure he did some fucked up thing when I wasn't around.

honeybeeroll · 2020-09-15T18:21:06+00:00

Interesting! This was ways a deal breaker for me because I've had cats my whole life and always plan to, and my cat would come before any guy lol. I've always been 😑 about people who don't like cats because 99% of the time, the reason is like TV told me cats were bad. I've had cats my whole life, as did my mom, so the stuff I hear from people that they're mean or something is like lmao what? Have you ever met a cat? Have you ever been on the internet? Cute & friendly cats have been all over since the days of "lol catz" like why does the mean cat stereotype still exist. Could totally be this control thing is a major factor

notallowed2havepizza · 2020-09-15T18:13:56+00:00

I have another point to add, OP. Another reason why some men may hate cats is that cats don’t feed their already fragile ego like a dog would. A dog would worship the ground that they walk upon. So, they don’t get their narcissistic fix from a fiercely independent cat. It drives them crazy that they aren’t codependent like dogs. Watch out for men like this.

ShadowoftheGrimoire · 2020-09-15T18:10:27+00:00

My LVM nex had a cat as a child. It died sometime before I met him, but because I had cats he mentioned it in passing sometimes. He always whines and complained that the cat was mean to him and would but or scratch him. Surprise surprise he was the controlling and manipulative type. I should have taken a hint from the cat.

Equipoisonous · 2020-09-15T17:59:38+00:00

Hating pets of any kind is so weird to me. They're... pets. I understand when people aren't comfortable around them/not used to them but saying they don't like animals is just a major red flag and a big no.

sarcasticdoll · 2020-09-15T19:33:50+00:00

My ex-boyfriend when I was a pickme told me a horrible story.

He told me he learned as a child that cats have nine lives so he tossed a cat in the air and let her drop. I was obviously disgusted but thought it was in the past.

The cat broke two legs and was given to a neighbour but still what kind of psychotic behaviour is that?!

Later, he gave a monkey in Thailand my open chapstick because he was a fucking idiot. I just looked at him like he was crazy but he honestly convinced me I was insane at this point so I let it go 🤷🏻‍♀️ He later raped me whilst I was sleeping.

Hahane · 2020-09-15T19:58:45+00:00

I've always felt like cats are the sweetest. They never done me no harm. They always want me to pet them, so I do and they are happy. Maybe my inner animal is a cat, but I never undestood the cats being independent thing. They come to me faster than my dog when I call them, even though my dog is trained lol.

yfunk3 · 2020-09-16T05:35:52+00:00

Also, a lot of men view having dogs as a way to "meet women", which is diagusting in and of itself. Get a pet for companionship, not to get laid, for chrissakes.

I love both dogs and cats. I actually thought I preferred dogs, but then my siblings got cats of their own, and I realized I am just a giant cat. 😆😸

AnonymousRooster · 2020-09-15T18:42:34+00:00

I will never choose a man over my cat. One is my heart, the other is easily replaceable

randomgirlimok · 2020-09-16T01:04:00+00:00

My cat makes a soft chirping sound when he jumps off things or you pet him. One time a guy angrily said “does your cat have to make a noise every time he moves?!?!” He was seriously annoyed by that. Um bye

RiasXgremoryX · 2020-09-15T17:59:53+00:00

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Summerisle7 · 2020-09-15T17:07:51+00:00

Well I love cats and if they don’t like cats out the door.

To follow this guys who hold their pets in OLD is usually a no for me. I literally feel bad for the big dogs ( or cats) being held up, just the look of horror on some of these animals faces for a candid moment. Ew 🤢.

overthinkersanon8 · 2020-09-16T00:42:18+00:00

I swear to god, cat people are better in bed.

Pudding5050 · 2020-09-15T17:48:35+00:00

Anybody who dislikes animals (at least pets) is a big no for me.

2020-09-15T19:30:18+00:00

Fun fact most psychopaths apparently prefer fishes for pets, and cat owners were found to be less psychopathic compare to other animal owners. It makes sense though fishes are trapped and contain in tanks of water.

Nifteroni-and-Cheese · 2020-09-15T23:56:43+00:00

Hot take: hating any animals is a red flag. Maybe things like killer bees and wasps and stuff because they’ll fuck you up for no reason, but most animals just want to live an let live, so even if you wouldn’t want something as a pet, hating it is just being hateful for no reason.

SundanceDog · 2020-09-16T03:11:32+00:00

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plummyjellyfish · 2020-09-16T03:14:36+00:00

Cats for some reason are thought to be 'feminine' in some western countries, so I've often found that a lot of men who don't like cats do so in part because of this 'female' association. They're often loud, ignorant and misogynistic meatheads. I admit I'm deeply suspicious of anyone who doesn't like animals, but especially men who have nasty opinions about cats. Think of a man who says something like, "the only good cat is a dead cat!" (actual quote). A man who says that has a high chance of being a total sexist dumbass in addition to his shit taste in pets.

thatslikemy4thaccunt · 2020-09-15T17:52:46+00:00

I have the same experience.

fim_de_semana · 2020-09-15T17:15:46+00:00

I don’t think I could get along with a guy who doesn’t like cats.

NottodayScrote · 2020-09-15T17:22:33+00:00

My dad claims to hate cats, even though he once rescued a cat from being abused. . I just think he's bittter about being allergic to them. But he and his wife were controlling. He still tries to control things including who people choose to marry ect.

Edit: accidentally hit save before finishing. Again.

Eris_the_Fair · 2020-09-15T22:59:59+00:00

You can tell if a man will be good at sex by how he pets a cat. Cats only like it a certain way, and will give you lots of non-verbal signals to let you know what they are and are not enjoying. A lot of men will just pet them their own way, ignore all the cat's signals, then berate the cat when it gets annoyed with them. These men will not give you an orgasm.

Equipoisonous · 2020-09-15T17:56:21+00:00

YES YES YES thank you! This is exactly right. I've always felt that I wouldn't get along with with someone who doesn't like creatures that take some time to warm up to you. But this really explains why it's a red flag, not just a sign of incompatibility. A terrible sign if he can't stand an animal wanting to get to know him first before showing affection.

Plus, I really love my cat.

Salt_Satisfaction · 2020-09-15T23:29:39+00:00

I find it funny that some guys will say that cats "are assholes who attack them for no reason".

No Kyle, you just failed or ignored the warning signs that the cat did not want you to touch or approach them.

Run from guys who take it as a personal insult that a cat does not submit to their orders too. Some dog "lovers" believe they are the shit because a big scary dog obeys his orders.

2020-09-15T18:20:44+00:00

Well named! He looks like he can hurl lightening bolts.

Sekina7 · 2020-09-15T21:54:38+00:00

ABSOLUTELY agree! My bestie comes first!

Here is my bestie , Code Name-Emma Frost :

https://imgur.com/a/aglKit9

I truly believe cats are straight up feminine energy, supremely intelligent, almost magical and protectors spiritually! It's obvious at this point that a lot of men are jealous and aghast that many women generally prefer the company of cats en masse if they end up choosing not to marry, remarry or co-habitate with anyone less than a HVM.

Datonecatladyukno · 2020-09-15T17:30:41+00:00

THIS IS SO TRUE

RiasXgremoryX · 2020-09-15T17:07:01+00:00

I love cats and most people I know hate them. To me this is a good indicator of character, It means that person wants someone to control, push around and do anything to, while the person constantly loves them through all the disrespect and cruelty (like say, a dog).

2020-09-16T05:01:30+00:00

I find men who like cats to be more caring, emotionally mature and more of a gentleman.

redbirdflies · 2020-09-15T17:22:03+00:00

I’m not a cat fan. Anything that poops in the house is a no for me. I’m not a control freak but I am a clean freak and the random throw up sessions on carpets would make me nuts

I don’t hate them though. I have strays that I regularly feed and I can’t imagine why anyone would hate cats.

siberiansummer · 2020-09-15T21:07:54+00:00

I honestly always found it weird when people said:”I hate cats!” I’ve heard it so many times too. Like tf? What did a small animal did to you that you hate them so much you feel a need to broadcast it?

jayohday · 2020-09-16T03:45:28+00:00

Thank you for posting this! I think run doubly fast if he hates cats and is obsessed with his dog -- like spends more money on the dog than anything else, including you. And hits the dog when it won't do what he wants. Major red flags. I cut and run, thankfully! But just hating cats alone is enough, I agree, based on cats' nature, like you said. I love that I have found my people!

IwantyoualltoBEDAVE · 2020-09-16T08:04:02+00:00

I do think there is some merit to the idea that men are like dogs and women are like cats. Men are gross and need daily walks and are dangerous where as women are independent and need security and are cuddly

Pahapan · 2020-09-16T07:04:28+00:00

You can mistreat a dog and it will very often still love you. They can't help themselves. They don't hold grudges easily, you are their world, they want nothing more than your approval and love. You can regularly yell at your dog and it will still look at you with nothing but love in their eyes. You can regularly hit your dog and they'd still want to curl up next to you in bed. And when you take them out in public or interact with them for an audience, it can be hard for a bystander to be able to tell that poor animal is abused in private. Cats, on the other hand, were not bred the way dogs were to be adoring human fantasists. If you haven't earned a cat's adoration, it's obvious. If they don't like someone, it's obvious.

So when someone is SUPER into dogs (in conjunction with HATING cats), that puts me on guard. Dogs are definitely the preferred pet of abusers. They like their women the same way, someone they can shit all over who'll keep crawling back to them. People who love control also love dogs because you can obviously train them to within an inch of their life and it's an ego thing to have an impeccably trained dog (often trained using abusive fear tactics).

Summerisle7 · 2020-09-15T17:03:35+00:00

I probably wouldn't choose a cat as a pet, not just because I'm allergic but because I don't like their smell. But I don't think they're evil or dangerous! Agree that people, mostly men, who have an OTT aversion to cats often have a cruel or controlling streak.

nomadzebra · 2020-09-15T21:06:26+00:00

They are scared we'll choose cats over them, rather be a crazy cat lady than with another loser

hongkonghenry · 2020-09-16T07:56:22+00:00

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rad_sensei · 2020-09-15T21:01:16+00:00

this is so true!!!!!!

cats’ affection has to be earned, they only come around you when they trust you and deem you as safe.... any man who doesn’t have enough patience for that AND blames the cat for not having blind trust like dogs do is a red flag.

gcthrowaway2019 · 2020-09-15T19:39:47+00:00

I agree with you and I'm not a fan of cats. I would never hurt one or snarl at the mention of one bc they're valuable pets that people love just like a dog, a bird or a hamster. I can't hate them.

the_twilight_drone · 2020-09-15T22:59:51+00:00

My dad hates cats. You might be really onto something here.

Pippipippi_k · 2020-09-16T08:17:26+00:00

Agree. My abusive ex wanted me to surrender my sick 17 year old cat because her meowing "disturbed his sleep", but wouldn't wear earplugs. It was the red flag I should have run a mile from immediately rather than waiting for his true colours a year later.

JaneIsaPain · 2020-09-16T12:53:24+00:00

Funny, my abusive manipulative ex hated cats.

All my nice exes loved them.

Good observation!

mielelatte · 2020-09-16T16:03:01+00:00

My bf drew this parallel himself the other day. We were on the couch and he was kinda stroking my arm and I sometimes would pull away at certain spots bc I’m ticklish.He said, women are like cats, they’ll give you love and affection, but only when they want to. You can pet them, but only on their own terms. I could never make you do anything you don’t want to do, just like a cat.

He loves all animals, btw, and I agree that men who “HATE” cats could have control issues. Men who show disrespect to animals in general- big red flag.

LilyChickadee · 2020-09-16T16:52:23+00:00

My ex HATED that I had cats. It wasn't even the cats, it was the attention that I gave the cats. He couldn't understand how I could show so much love and affection to these sweet babies but was cold and distant around him when he got drunk and screamed at me every night. If he saw me cuddling my cats or talking to them, his whole body would tense up and he'd walk out the room--which he considered very mature for not "blowing up on me." What a fucking JOKE.

AFineDogMom · 2020-09-15T19:44:55+00:00

Not a huge fan of cats personally. I think they're sweet and cute and I love my Sophie cat, but she's not very cat like. The thing that bothers me about them is that they climb up on counters with their dirty paws. Lol. And if you have a really bad cat (I did for 16 years RIP Garfield) they get on your counter and eat your bread/butter/veggies left out. Lol. I have never gone out to get a cat though. Just was blessed by circumstance/picked by said cats.

I would never tell anyone I hate cats though. I think anyone hating any animal is a HUGE red flag regardless!

Another HUGE red flag to me is a person that brags about buying an expensive breed of animal. Just seems selfish to me.

heleninthealps · 2020-09-15T18:19:21+00:00

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notallowed2havepizza · 2020-09-15T16:58:42+00:00

I...hate cats. Lol

amiranda00 · 2020-09-15T19:18:19+00:00

Lol I don’t like cats. I think they’re gross and quite annoying. I love my dog though. Almost a decade that I’ve had him.

Some ppl just don’t like cats 🤷🏻‍♀️

Works_For_Treats · 2020-09-15T20:33:52+00:00

I don't like cats because they are inherently unsanitary and extremely detrimental to the environment because they murder everything. I don't want a cat's litterbox paws all over everything, not to mention their bare butthole sitting on everything. Ew.

This is not to say that I don't like cats as someone else's pet. They are cute and cuddly, intelligent, silly, have pretty good characteristics as far as companion animals go, but are not the pet for me.

thetacobitch · 2020-09-15T17:02:36+00:00

......I think this is reading too far into it lol. Lots of people hate cats. I hate cats and it’s definitely not because they won’t give me consent😂 I just think they kind of suck. No offense

kitcat479 · 2020-09-16T02:03:51+00:00

Sorry but no this is a bad take. If there is a guy who hates all animals on principle and this translates into them being abusive towards the animal, then yes absolutely run that’s a red flag. But disliking an animal alone is not enough for it to be a red flag. People are allowed to have preferences in terms of what animal they like to have in their home. And in this thread it is obvious that a lot of you guys are huge cat lovers and see people who do not like cats as a personal affront. Some of You guys are literally arguing with other WOMEN Who have valid and legitimate reasons to not like cats, this is not a man issue. Let me be frank. I love all animals, however the only animals I like to have in my house are those that I feel can be sanitary. I do not like turtles in my house because I don’t like the smell of a fish tank. The same with fish. I do not like hamsters or gerbils in my house because I do not like the smell of them in their cage and their mess. I do not like rabbits in my house, I have a friend who has one and it scratches the floors, nibbles on everything, and poops numerous hard pellets I. Fear when you pick it up. And I truly do not like cats and I will tell you why. They smell. No offense but almost every house I have went into that owns a cat you can tell from the ammonia smell coming from the kitty litter and the smell of their fur. You don’t want to see it but they literally step inside of their feces in there kitty litter and will track that through your house. Y’all are acting like this isn’t an I stick that aspect of these cats, when they do this in the wild so stop. At least with Dogs when you walk them they will shit outside and not step on the shit that they just put outside. I’m not saying Dogs a perfect either, I have been in homes where people have dogs who lick them in the face, eat off the table, and dog hair everywhere I don’t like that either. I’m also in medical school and if you guys knew even a fraction of the diseases that they teach us that are transmitted by cats it’s fucking insane. One of the most vicious disease is toxoplasmosis, and pregnant women are literally asked do you have a cat in the home, because it is transmitted from cat feces, And pregnant women are advised to literally have someone else pick up the feces from the cat litter. While it is usually asymptomatic in pregnant women, in the unborn fetus it is disastrous. I am not trying to shame anyone in this thread and I’m not trying to look down on anyone in this thread. My little sister has a cat and it is a beautiful and gorgeous creature that is totally unique from other pets. And that’s her choice. But to say that I or other men need to be written off from dating because I don’t like cats is a stretch. All these anecdotal stories about the previous men in your life not like your cats = LVM is laughable because we all know damn well that man probably had a zillion other real red flags that you missed, ignored, or excused because you had not been exposed to FDS ideology. All you ladies have to say is having a cat in my life is a dealbreaker for me, which is perfectly acceptable and normal for you to exercise healthy boundaries in future relationship, rather than making blanket statements about the judgment or character of the man that you’re dating. Please refer back to the FDS handbook which explicitly and very succinctly lays out what our tools ACTUALLY ARE to discriminate these men and do not waste your time on this arguement that you are engaged in because your emotions are tied to..... your cat that no one else is obligated to love. There are plenty of men who are HVM who love cats and HVM that don’t lmao. Preferences for animals in the home have no bearing on the character of a man (as long as that man is not treating that animal abusively). Let’s do better ladies. Drops mic.

Title	If a guy vehemently hates cats, run.
Author	hongkonghenry
Upvotes	656
Comments	271
Date	September 15, 2020 4:49 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/itcn3t/if_a_guy_vehemently_hates_cats_run/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/if-a-guy-vehemently-hates-cats-run.213506 https://theredarchive.com/post/213506

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