Does sleeping with someone really attractive for a period in your life ruin sex with other more average people?

acmemetalworks · 2021-10-12T08:19:38+00:00

In my experience, as a guy who was quite popular w/ the girls during my 20s, looks don't matter as much as chemistry. But mind bending blackout orgasms definitely make things difficult for the longevity of following relationships, even if everything else was great, and sex was probably better than average. And was it worth it? No, I waisted a lot of time and tossed several good relationships because of ridiculously high expectations sexually.

Pickled_Tink_Tea · 2021-10-12T11:12:40+00:00

No. I got married at 19, and he was a model. He was a decent, thoughtful, lover. But it was good sex, not amazing sex.

Nobody I've been with since has been as objectively attractive as him. Though I have had much better sexual chemistry with other partners since.

Chemistry is FAR more important than looks.

majani · 2021-10-12T08:43:56+00:00

In college I was once with an international pageant model who was super into me. Problem was she kept up her slim figure by sticking to a strict diet of chips and soda once a day only. Made her pussy stink to the point of me wanting to throw up when I smelt it. That was a central factor in us eventually growing apart. Moral of the story: everyone has skeletons in their closet. And not tiny little cute skeletons. No, everyone has huge, mouldy, festering skeletons in their closet and once they come out, it normalizes them

TheBookOfSeil · 2021-10-12T06:14:21+00:00

The phrase "alpha-widowed" must exist for a reason.

JacobMoogberg69 · 2021-10-12T07:32:43+00:00

I've had really good sex but it has been attached to some really shitty (though hot) women. It's always a battle in my mind that I guess a former crack head would have. He knows crack feels like da bomb but will leave you homeless and toothless on a side of a road within a week.

RRBeachFG2 · 2021-10-12T08:29:03+00:00

If you're thinking about other people during sex that's on you not them

Insidious-Sid · 2021-10-12T06:20:27+00:00

No.

I had sex a few times with a woman who physically was ideal for me.

She didn't ruin anything for other women who were:

a) Much better in bed

b) not selfish narcissistic cunts

If having sex with someone attractive is THAT important to someone, I think that shows a glaring weakness of character to be honest.

FarWestNationalParks · 2021-10-12T05:57:14+00:00

I feel at least that getting attention from more attractive women made me realize I could do better, although this is probably a way different situation for men compared to women.

Jakes1967 · 2021-10-12T06:00:25+00:00

Does sleeping with someone really attractive for a period in your life ruin sex with other more average people?

No, as the worst sex is usually with very attractive women, who seemed to believe that just being in their presence, brings forth satisfaction.

Wondering if having great sex for a period in your life with someone really attractive will make all the other sex seem pale in comparison.

For a short period, I dated an "underwear" (lingerie) model and can honestly say they're damn hard work. Yes only one, but my buddies were dating other models and heavily agreed.

There's a reason Liz Hurley got cheated on and I understood completely.

Or do you think our bodies and mind will forget after a while and get used to the new sex?

Not relating to hook ups, each partner is completely different and your connection to each is different, thus the sex is also different. .

As an aside, have you ever been with someone that was so hot they surprised you and just woke your body up from being dormant?

Yes, my wife.

RottingVillain666 · 2021-10-12T07:26:04+00:00

Depend really. The less attractive dude could have a 12” dick. Or you could be infatuated and not just horny? Idk, nature is nature

RunsWlthScissors · 2021-10-12T08:20:06+00:00

Worth it? More personal, but for me yes. I don’t really hold on to emotions from past experiences. If you do you may need to think on this more. The most I do is remember the feelings I felt at the time because they are similar but all different.

Other sex pale? No. Every new person is a new and different experience. Dear god please treat it as such, otherwise you’ll be chasing the dragon.

Bodies and mind forget? Yes and no. You certainly don’t forget, well except for the blackout nights, but that’s different. In my experience, I really have to think on it to remember the feeling from those moments or times. The ones that come to mind sooner were either a unique time itself (place/act like my back bleeding or 1st time w/ handcuffs or my buddies boat) or something that happened(college roommates parents walked in).

Dormant? No. Attractive women make me motivated to go shoot my shot, or talk longer before my ADHD mind spaces out and starts staring at the next pretty girl at the bar. My bodies pretty good to go most night, but hey, guys are like pitchers; good nights and bad nights.

So hot that it changes something? No. There are tons of attractive people in the world, this is not special. Attractiveness is motivation to try for me, otherwise I feel general disinterest in all honesty.

Reading between the lines here, if you are about to have a break up don’t be afraid. Learn from it and move on.

If you are thinking of past partners with your current, then the sex is bad or you aren’t attracted. If your partner is receptive to the former work on it. If they aren’t or it’s the latter, walk away you are doing both of you a disservice by prolonging the inevitable.

Gilmoregirlin · 2021-10-12T08:52:53+00:00

You do realize that attractive people often suck in bed, at least attractive men do, and from what my male friends tell me attractive women can also be dead fish, so I think you are missing that point entirely. So from my perspective the most attractive men I have slept with (and I have had some model looking dudes) have not been the best men not even close to it, so no they have not ruined sex for me with more average people who far exceeded Them. Often I feel like attractive men, as well as men with larger members feel like they don’t have to do anything more because they are attractive or have the large penis.

BoogersAndSugar · 2021-10-12T12:42:36+00:00

As a guy, no. What "alpha widowed" me was passion and enthusiasm, not looks.

AquaChip · 2021-10-12T12:13:01+00:00

Yes. It raises your standards. You think, “If this hot guy was in love with me and was in relationship with me, then I can get another hot guy.”

Artsyhipster · 2021-10-12T10:27:13+00:00

I have to say sleeping with a guy with a large penis who I was in a long relationship with did put me in a position afterwars where i definitivly got a lot more disapointed when seeing a New guys penis. But when I met my current boyfriend who is average I don't care at all and actually appreciate the practicallity of his size.

mistresswhat · 2021-10-12T06:33:18+00:00

No.

I feel like having sex with people who are really fantastic in bed kinda can, though, probably because that's more about effort. I can't resent someone for being less hot than the most attractive people I've ever been with but I can resent someone for not putting in as much effort as the most sexually generous men I've slept with. I know they all could do that, if they wanted.

My body has never really "gone dormant" but I have 100% experienced the thing where I went to bed with a guy I was kinda medium on expecting it to be just alright and he did such a surprisingly great job that I was exponentially more attracted to him after.

PlayfulLawyer · 2021-10-12T06:35:53+00:00

It didn't for me, at the end of the day just speaking physically and sexually different women bring different things to the table

Orange_Paisley · 2021-10-12T13:12:30+00:00

No. Having sex with someone who is wildly inventive in the bedroom can though.

K_ayla_Baby · 2021-10-12T14:43:40+00:00

Hot guys are more focused to their own pleasure and don't see the point of helping you reach orgasm so if anything they are ruining sex for themselves. Average guys are more genuine and seems to care more about your experience in my opinion so I will always prefer average guy sex. What use do I have with a hot guy if he turns me on but doesn't know what to do next?

doyouliketoplaywithf · 2021-10-12T15:05:12+00:00

Firstly, I want to note the difference between your title and the first question in your body text: one only says "sleeping with" while the other says "having great sex". Pretty important distinction, and as many people have noted already here, someone being really attractive is only one of many factors that make up "great sex". I've had hot sex with meh ladies and meh sex with hot ladies, I'm sure anyone who's been around a bit can say the same.

IMO, truly great sex is a kinda singular level of greatness, like if it's "Nirvana" then there's no greater or lesser Nirvana, only Nirvana. It takes a lot of things going right get to this pinnacle, like how attractive the partner is definitely matters but so does your mindset, the context, and the actual mechanics of it. Since attractiveness is a factor, it's theoretically easier to get there with a really attractive partner, but since it's also a flat level, it also means attractiveness isn't that significant because it's not greater with a hot partner.

Anecdotally, when I'm running through my personal mental spank bank or whatever, I'll revisit all these Nirvana moments, and the ladies in these moments all vary in attractiveness.

vial_of_music · 2021-10-12T15:19:41+00:00

I have had ultra insane sex. I’m still with him.

sootlord · 2021-10-12T17:07:51+00:00

I'm a 28M and have had ALOT of sex over the course of a decade but nothing prepared me for what I experienced 2 years ago.

I met this absolute bombshell of a Woman and it was the first time in my life it was like fireworks where going off. We hooked up for a few months and then she ghosted. Hands down the best sex I've ever experienced I've had in my life.

After she ghosted, it crushed me. I tried dating new people, went to support groups, therapy, new hobbies, and hung with friends but nothing could really help me move past it. Developed a nasty alcohol problem just to numb my pain/frustration.

Sex now is boring, feels like a chore, and I do feel like its slightly "ruined" for me. Because I honestly want to re-create that feeling I had with her and be with women I'm really attracted too. Honestly it has not been the same since I met her.

ReasonableSignature7 · 2021-10-12T18:31:48+00:00

No! It's the chemistry that's more important. I find good looking men to be a bit selfish and make you feel instantly replaceable. Normal men or the unconventional looking ones are much more fun than the poodles (no offence intended). It's often nice face, shame about the personality

Laytheblameonluck · 2021-10-12T06:16:19+00:00

Attraction grows with love. That’s why love sex is the best sex and trumps any FWB situationship any day.

RabbitNRaccoon · 2021-10-12T06:37:22+00:00

For some people I do think this true. Having too much experience ruins peopels ability to be happy with average. To some end it spoils you.

So when a woman had been about sleeping with and hanging around the men of her dreams (and out of her league) it ruins her ability to accept the average man that is within her league.

The same can be said for men. The more time men spend looking at visual imagery of women way out of their league, they develop an appetite for that. Which is why you will see men simping for women who are out of their league. And wasting their time, energy, and money and self respect on them.

Where as, if a person just stayed in their league and only messed with people in their lane, they would likely be happier and able to form long term relationships.

This is one of the reasons I am glad I didn't sleep around. Also another reason I'm glad I never got into posting in social media or using dating apps. I don't have any way to overly inflate my own ego and sense of self. So I am very happy with DMV and only aim to date men within it.

I don't see a reason to put myself out there to be used by a man of a higher SMV.

ffandyy · 2021-10-12T06:37:40+00:00

Short answer, no it doesn’t

MuttonDressedAsGoose · 2021-10-12T07:30:15+00:00

Attractive? No. But I'm an older woman so I am not quite as focused on beauty as someone younger may be.

Great chemistry? Yes, that can affect the way I will enjoy subsequent lovers.

Rosifer433d · 2021-10-12T10:15:45+00:00

You do realize that a woman being hot doesn't necessarily mean she's good in bed? It doesn't mean the two of you have great chemistry in bed. It doesn't mean she has a sex drive that is higher than the tallest peak in the world.

Yes, dude, you can enjoy sex with an average woman after having great sex with a very attractive woman.

..huh.. guys who are healthy don't need a woman to be extremely attractive for the guy to get a boner.

Mafiale · 2021-10-12T10:21:36+00:00

I was head over heels over the hottest girl I had in bed. I couldn't keep m hands off of her. We are talking about sex 15 times a day at our peak. However, while I strongly wanted a relationship she was indecisive about making it official. So we fucked for 6 months with me making known at multiple occasions that I would like to make it official and with her responding that she likes me but isn't sure about it but always keeping my hopes up. At one point we told each other that we love each other but still were not together.

I completely went no-contact (after some figths and back and forth) because it hurt too much to be on a long leash like this.

This girl was on my mind a lot after that. For me she was stunning and I thought about her body a lot as we were very much physically attracted to each other. But in the relationships and flings to come after her never once she crossed my mind during sex with another woman. I also never compared other women to her. I tend to be very much in the moment when I am with someone. I don't think about other stuff.

Over time I thought about her less and less. At this point what remains is a feeling of nostalgia when I think about her. Although we had our ups and downs we spend a lot of months together. It was a good time

So overall it is a net positive and my ability to sleep with other woman is definetly not impaired. Hope that answers your questions

pink-summer-sky · 2021-10-12T11:48:23+00:00

Does sleeping with someone really attractive for a period in your life ruin sex with other more average people?

Attractive does not mean good sex, at all. Please stop conflating the two

Diamond-Breath · 2021-10-12T14:08:50+00:00

Honestly, you do feel weird if you go out with someone less attractive than your ex.

WilliamWyattD · 2021-10-12T05:51:48+00:00

I think there is a lot of variation here. But I do think it is far more likely to be problematic for women due to their more selective nature and the higher degree of complexity of her sexual / erotic mechanics.

TRP goes way overboard with the Alpha Widow concept, but there is a kernel of real truth.

Responsible-Bike9047 · 2021-10-12T05:55:28+00:00

yes. got chad once now hes ruined me for any other man so now im working on losing weight

LadyM2 · 2021-10-12T08:13:59+00:00

Wow men are really oppressing women from every angle they can. First they say high body-count is bad, then they say sleeping with hot guys is bad. Next what? Not being a virgin is bad? Men never change. They want women to be their slaves. That’s all about it.

il_nascosto · 2021-10-12T09:08:26+00:00

Brutally honest - kind of, yes. My first few real girlfriends were pretty hot when I was younger... made me hold a standard that has lasted my whole life. I’ve tried dating less attractive women but am simply not turned on by them in any way, even if I enjoy their personality. Just keeping it 100!

TomorrowsWar · 2021-10-12T11:00:35+00:00

Not for me. If I want to sleep with you, I want to sleep with you. I’m not thinking of my past lovers at all. I forget my own name, how am I to remember what anyone looks like

AutoModerator · 2021-10-12T05:45:36+00:00

Attention!

You can post off topic/jokes/puns as a comment to this Automoderator message.
For "CMV" and "Question for X" Threads: Parent comments that aren't from the target group will be removed, along with their child replies.
If you want to agree with OP instead of challenging their view or if the question is not targeted at you, post it as an answer to this comment.
OP you can choose your own flair according to these guidelines., just press Flair under your post!

Thanks for your cooperation and enjoy the discussion!

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

upalse · 2021-10-12T07:43:00+00:00

Well, duh. It sure makes it expensive down the line.

Beltadowa · 2021-10-12T08:46:21+00:00

To be honest it's not the hotness of the guy but the quality of the sex which might taint future enjoyment. If you have great compatibility with someone and have excellent sex, moving on to average sex with someone is going to leave a hole forever, pardon my pun.

As long as I find someone attractive enough to want to sleep with them, their relative hotness compares to others doesn't matter even a tiny bit. I fall for the quirks in their looks. In fact I'd feel self conscious if I was with someone way hotter than me, I've never been super hot and nobody super hot has ever looked at me in that way, I couldn't care less in fact I consider myself lucky. People fall for my personality and I think that has served me well. I'm OK enough to not put a fellow sci nerd off, I've got just the attractiveness I need and that's all I require in relationships too. And they have to be taller than me with a big nose LOL

SteveSan82 · 2021-10-12T09:02:10+00:00

No. Eventually you get use to sleeping with the same woman where a new woman who’s less attractive will be more interesting until you get use to her as well and so on.

Newkker · 2021-10-12T09:26:18+00:00

I don't think so. Honestly in terms of sensation the best sex I have had was with this overweight milf, her body was a bit terrible, but she knew how to work a dick and the dirty talk was just absurd. Freaky girl.

One of the worst sexual experiences I ever had was with this GORGEOUS half asian girl in college who just kind of laid there like a dead fish and occasionally let out a moan.

Beauty is like plating at a restaurant, yea I'd RATHER have it, but who cares honestly, its all about the taste.

djblackmith · 2021-10-12T09:42:01+00:00

It raised my standards but it more like after 3 or 4

revente · 2021-10-12T09:51:33+00:00

In my case yes. Once I’ve realised i can date the most attractive girls, i’ve stopped to approach girls below 8/10.

Obviously we are talking about subjective, perceived attraction at the time of the approach, and since i’d oapproach in clubs, often when drunk, some 7s or even 6s might have slipped in.

indyradmama · 2021-10-12T10:08:22+00:00

LORD-THUNDERCUNT · 2021-10-12T12:30:35+00:00

Women yes.

Men no.

nemma88 · 2021-10-12T13:22:03+00:00

I don't think so, or not automatically and not through just sex (at least for women).

I do believe a adjacent form of alpha windowing exists but has been known as the one that got away and is more to do with love or obsession than sex.

The one that got away could be uglier than you and isn't gendered.

just_a_place · 2021-10-12T14:18:22+00:00

For me as a guy the answer is no.

I have been with incredibly beautiful, cute, feminine and one whom I think would be a physically flawless woman and it does absolutely nothing to ruing other women for me.

That's cause each woman is different but at the same time so similar. It's the differences that make women hot. If they were all just clones with a hive mind then yeah, blegh!

This is why I hate Tik Tokers and Insta-thots by the way. Phony Clones are the worst. Raw and Real women are the best for me, it is impossible to ruin one woman with another for me.

7incowboy · 2021-10-12T14:28:30+00:00

Well the answer is as you have probably guessed yes and no, you'll always remember them and the sex, but you are likely to meet someone that is just averagely attractive but the sex will blow you're mind. I think that those of us that end up having quite a few sexual partners will remember one that"got away" most that work on a LTR will find that the sex becomes just as mind blowing, both of you just need to keep "working it"

tonyghow · 2021-10-12T14:52:25+00:00

Sure a hot body is nice, but I don't tie great sex to the attractiveness of the woman. It's less about body/face and more about her desire to be enthusiastic.

I was once with a woman who would put in a lot of effort for her and us to enjoy ourselves. She wasn't "really attractive" but she was creative and experimental in and out of the bedroom. It was the best sex of my life. That bar was set very high after that.

qunamax · 2021-10-12T15:15:22+00:00

If someone is really attractive or not does not mean that much in sex, what's being done and how is much more important. Not to make it a rule but I had much better sex with less attractive women, some would say they are compesanting this way.

Wu_Pao-chao · 2021-10-12T15:17:39+00:00

There are billions of people in this world, Never settle Get what you deserve. The person you are attracted to can be taught how to please you sexually that in turn ripens your relationship because you learned something from other. You can have your cake and eat it too.

manfrom-nantucket · 2021-10-12T17:03:30+00:00

Frankly sex is the least of the problems with any relationship. It is far more important to consider who you are dealing with and the very raw deal you might be signing up for.

2021-10-12T17:30:36+00:00

It can to a point, but good sex is something that can be achieved with almost anyone if you put in the work.

Unicorn_GoddessBitch · 2021-10-12T17:41:38+00:00

No. Physically hot guys are always a treat but that isn't the end all of attraction or satisfaction. Women are looking for intimacy and connection with their partner if their partner is really hot that's nice but if a real unique connection wasn't made and both moved on that is what mattered not the fact that he was eye candy.

heyitsjeape · 2021-10-12T18:22:18+00:00

Haha. I will let you know if I ever gain enough experience to find out.

riskykitten1207 · 2021-10-12T19:44:08+00:00

No. When I was in my 20’s I hooked up with a few guys that had an amazing body. The sex was nowhere as good as with my husband. Whether he has been skinny or when he put on some weight, the chemistry between us can’t be matched. I know he has had physically more attractive partners than me but feels the same as I do. If the sex is mediocre then looks can’t make up for it.

Nihi1986 · 2021-10-12T20:54:47+00:00

I honestly don't think it's a bad idea and I believe the mind kind of 'forgets' about it, eventually, and gets excited again with less attractive people. Also, sex drive, expectations, priorities, goals, our bodies and many other things change with age.

What I believe though is that when we talk about a relationship with this hot person it could become the one who got away. It's not always the hottest person though. In my case for many years it was a somewhat average looking girl or worse who mindfucked me so badly and was so manipulative, narcissistic (not randomly throwing the term here) and experienced, and I was so naive...I was such a mess when she left I thought I'd never get over her and certainly took me a while to fully get over her and see the truth about her. More often than not, though, it's going to be the hottest person, specially for men since we focus more on looks.

Painfulmenstruation · 2021-10-12T22:08:51+00:00

No. Not unless they have good skills and are generous in bed.

Cotton-Candy-Queen · 2021-10-13T01:04:22+00:00

Past experiences don’t really make a difference. I think our body and minds forget, or perhaps adapt to current conditions.

TheSmallerGambler · 2021-10-13T10:36:17+00:00

AtomicMGTOW · 2021-10-18T12:25:32+00:00

I stopped at the pedo comment. Fuck you. You don't even know what that word means or you'll throw it around so fucking casually trying to score points. You're ignorant and talking to you is like talking to a brick. You're going to keep that hamster running in your brain constantly deflecting, diminishing, distracting and you seem to be completely immune to cognitive dissonance.

You're the worst.

This is you. https://i.imgur.com/5U5FBFh.jpeg

gimpgirl555 · 2021-10-12T06:43:22+00:00

It does for men but not for women.

For women sex is not that big of a deal. So what matters is how good the guy is at sex.

For men just seeing a Stacy in action ruins all other women for them

Gabrielvrape · 2021-10-12T06:25:59+00:00

Well here's the thing, we know women settle when they get older and end up with partners they are not sexually attracted to so that affects their sex life. Because there is data that indicates women orgasm more depending on how sexually attractive their partner is.

Nice_Pass2393 · 2021-10-12T12:57:02+00:00

Yes. An average man won't compare

daddysgotanew · 2021-10-12T14:10:40+00:00

For women yes. For men, not so much. I’ve been with an 8 but after a few months of a dry spell you’ll get just as excited for a 5 that’s willing to do it no strings attached.

TodTheRod01 · 2021-10-12T16:16:29+00:00

I think this is a problem more for women.

Women will fuck aka get attention from good looking well off dudes and think thats what they are entitled to or should have now...for boyfriend...when that guy was just getting his nut

Comments