A lot of dating advice given by women here only works for women

ashpr0ulx · 2023-04-22T15:05:03+00:00

i always thought the hobbies/clubs suggestion was less “go there specifically to meet women” and more “establish a strong social group” with a dash of “become a more well-rounded person”

like i don’t think going to a random hiking club meet up to hit on girls is gonna be a good move for most men. but joining a hiking club because you like to hike and making friends of both genders, creating strong social connections while also fostering a cool interest is probably a decent long-game move for just generally having a better social life on all fronts, including romantic.

jaypb182 · 2023-04-22T17:30:23+00:00

Yes, it does not work. I've seen countless cases, anecdotally, of women who are repulsed by the idea of having a male friend make a move on them. It's a catch-22 for guys because we're shamed for approaching strangers and we're also shamed for approaching friends/acquaintances with the intention of pursuing something.

KurtWagnersBamfSmoke · 2023-04-22T16:16:22+00:00

Unpopular opinion: women don't know how to navigate with men. The advice hardly works as well.

It goes back to the saying: You don't go to a deer and ask how to hunt deer.

TermAggravating8043 · 2023-04-22T15:15:30+00:00

The advice works for both men and women IF your someone that’s out socially in a regular base AND your someone that finds socialising enjoyable, eg your not out to meet someone, it’s not your goal to get sex/relationship. You just enjoy the banter

If you do this then yes, you will come across someone eventually where things will just ‘click’ and you’ll both naturally come together

The issue is, when the guy does not enjoy being social or uncomfortable in social situations and makes the whole dating experience about getting his goal, of course it’s off putting and awkward and its desperation when he ‘falls in love’ with literally the closest female to him that he’s not related too.

Novadina · 2023-04-22T15:10:07+00:00

Men give this advice also. That’s because it generally works better to go to a place girls actually are than go on an app filled with mostly men, where you will have to compete with those men for a small number of women based on a picture… If apps don’t work for someone, they should try something different. If apps work for you, you don’t have to follow that advice.

timetraveller5000 · 2023-04-22T21:16:07+00:00

Blue pil advice must be made by women's thoughts, "just be yourself, personality matter more, just be nice..." which probably works for women but not the opposite.

onirroc · 2023-04-22T14:59:53+00:00

I'm a guy with an average dating/sex history. Every woman I've been with has been someone I met organically in a non-romantic context.

I met my now wife when I went to an escape room with a mutual friend.

I'm not attractive enough for apps or cold approaching, and the "natural" method has gotten me success, be it dating or sex.

alexaxl · 2023-04-23T03:28:17+00:00

4 % swipe rate & 100s of matches.

It’s like a over eating whale talking to a starved refugee.

They have no idea swiping from the other side - the females who tried that experiment (examples online) had a shock.

Xbox-Loud-Cloud-216 · 2023-04-22T19:18:58+00:00

I ain’t never heard a girl at least in real life give anything other than blue pilled ass advice . Bitches won’t even say hit the gym

3RADICATE_THEM · 2023-04-22T15:13:48+00:00

The alternative is OLD and an average man has absolutely no hope there. You don't have a reasonable alternative, you just have to be patient and keep putting yourself out there in real life, that's always how it's been for average men.

Petyr111 · 2023-04-22T16:49:02+00:00

Yeah. Women don't need to do anything. So the only thing they can offer is " be there and do nothing".

That's why you dont listen to women if you are a man.

DeshaunWalt · 2023-04-22T15:07:33+00:00

Lol part 7 of why female friends are useless for me

"Get to know women as people first"

Translation: be in the friend-zone first

Can't make this up lol

Critical_Lettuce2899 · 2023-04-22T15:29:16+00:00

Getting to know women first always gets in the friend zone. All this advice does is help recruit more men into TRP.

MistyMaisel · 2023-04-22T16:18:42+00:00

As a woman I met all my dates or boyfriends through shared communities and interests. And they were all men so that means that's how they met me. The greatest predictor of relationships is proximity.

Also, by far the happiest relationship ever has been the one where we are both valued members of the same community, share a similar schedule from that, and that interest is always something we enjoy.

We aren't just recommending this as a way to meet people, it's by far the healthiest and most effective way to keep people because it provides organic and continuous common ground.

Zabadoodude · 2023-04-22T20:04:24+00:00

"Get to know women as people first" means "have a couple casual conversations to establish that you have chemistry and common interests" not "spend years becoming one of her closest friends, hoping that she'll eventually want to fuck you." The first one is very low effort and helps both of you avoid awkward dates with incompatible people. The second one sometimes works, but usually just leads to the friend zone.

Meeting new people and engaging with new hobbies helps you build up your social skills, and develop a more interesting personality. Even if you don't get with anyone there, you'll have more success talking with women in other contexts.

Ohyarlysmiles · 2023-04-22T22:53:17+00:00

Women give great advice as long as they advice is not an answer to "how do I attract a woman?"

I've been amazed many times in life by the EQ of women.

Ok-Application-7614 · 2023-04-22T16:49:29+00:00

Let's think about the situation critically;

Does getting to know a woman first inherently lead to the friend zone?

Or does getting to know a woman first inherently lead to the friend zone, when the man does a poor job of trying to transition the dynamic from platonic to romantic?

zaph239 · 2023-04-22T23:18:35+00:00

Advice from women is useless because women find it impossible to be honest with themselves. No women wants to admit their relationship is based on shallow criteria like how tall a guy is or how handsome he is. So when they give advice it is based on the woman they want to be, not the one they actually are.

The reality is, multiple women have told me they fell for their boyfriend at first sight. Normally based on how far from the ground his head happens to be and the size of his arms. They will claim there is some soulmate spark bulls**t but it is amazing that compatible souls are only found in tall good looking guys. Maybe there is a minimum space requirement for such souls?

Honest dating advice from women would be; to be tall and good looking and if you're not, f**k off. Unless you're rich.

2023-04-23T12:47:49+00:00

Women are deliberately giving bad advice to men because they dont want them to succeed. Women have no empathy for average men. Hypergamy simply doesnt care. Only top tier men are good enough.

The female collective simply doesnt want average men to procreate because that would be detrimental to the human race.

And in there lies the hypocrisy of females. We have TWO parallell systems for eafh gender, that are NOT supposed to exist together, yet they do. Most women are for a leftist/socialist system (utopia) which ideally allows maximum support and safety nets for women, in terms of female centered social programs, free female birth control (all the 72 options) free abortion, unrestricted access to welfare, and all benefits. But, the same cant apply to men. They can't allow all men to succeed in the dating market because no woman should be saddled with an average or below average men. Therefore, men are to live in a brutal, highly competitive capitalist system where they are to climb over the corpses of loser men in order to get to the top. Women are just waiting and enjoying life. In other words: Brutal, unforgiving, competitve capitalism for men, and super forgiving, humane socialiam for women.

KayRay1994 · 2023-04-22T17:27:54+00:00

thing is with advice from women is that its great for actually getting to know someone you want to build a relationship with, the advice isn’t great for building instant attraction, sure - but it ends up getting really effective when you’re actively dating her, or when the interest is a lot more than just “woman hot i want to fuck”

which kinda makes sense cause a woman won’t tell you how to game other women into sex - and i think that’s where there is a major disconnect - lots of guys want advice on how to win in the numbers game, because they think their masculinity will depend on it (and because guys don’t see women as people - they view them from a quantity first perspective), which is why lots of guys see it as a black and white “you’re either in the friendzone or you’re not”, so yeah - no shit advice from a woman won’t work because neither her interests or desires will tailor up to helping you figure out how to “win” the numbers game

YtBlue · 2023-04-22T18:39:38+00:00

It will work for men but women always give advice assuming the man just knows what to do. They only view men with some form of power as men. If you act in accordance then some woman will want you.

xcheshirecatxx · 2023-04-22T23:53:08+00:00

Yours mixing up 2 things

You should meet women where your hobbies happen, as you can't expect a good long term love life with someone who has no interest in what you like

But you shouldn't wait to show your interest. Not necessarily the first time, but certainly don't wait for friendship to blossom In love

2023-04-23T17:38:29+00:00

Don't ask the fish how to fish. Ask the fishermen.

On a side note, however, very attractive men will not actually help you because they might be bluepilled. At the end of the day, genetics so looks are 99% of the equation so if you aren't attractive - and at least 80% of men aren't tho I suspect this is way more like 90% now - then there's no way to become attractive. Genetic predeterminism basically. Of course men will never give up and they will always shoot down comments like mine, but the truth will always remain the truth. It is what it is.

Safinated · 2023-04-22T15:13:00+00:00

So average women who give advice are actually dating above average guys?

Nellylocheadbean · 2023-04-23T12:55:19+00:00

Women typically give advice that sounds good on paper but doesn’t work in general because women don’t want to hurt ppl’s feelings or make ppl feel inadequate. This is why women in general aren’t the greatest critics. They’ll only criticize someone that’s close to them.

RocinanteCoffee · 2023-04-22T22:37:59+00:00

Take the "get to know women as people first"

This is usually advised to people who don't interact with women, don't know how to talk to women the same way they'd talk to any human, have been turned down a lot in the dating world. It's so they get used to being around women, not so that they hit on every woman they get to know. It's also so people who are nervous around women have 'exposure therapy'. Become friendly or acquaintances with women they're not even attracted to so they aren't so scared of asking them out in the future or they become more comfortable just making conversation.

Yes, if you're an average girl, that is single, good chances are that your (single) male acquaintances/friends will eventually ask you out or express a desire for something more (it happens so frequently women now complain about it being annoying).

Some do but not all of them will eventually do so. Plenty of them have their own lives and girlfriends or spouses or just aren't attracted to their friend.

Going the 'meet women through hobbies/interests and lets see where this goes' route of ambiguity is not only time consuming,

Yes connecting with people takes time. Usually people recommend going to hobby or interest groups when they are consistently failing to attract a date otherwise (online dating for example). It's not the only way to meet people it's an alternative.

Ohms2North · 2023-04-23T00:38:19+00:00

Play with the balls while you suck the cock

RX-HER0 · 2023-04-23T16:42:39+00:00

Well, yeah, but that natural. Women are tying their best, but of course they can’t give as good of advice as guys in this type of stuff. They aren’t playing the same game as us.

zerofeetpersecond · 2023-04-24T13:15:17+00:00

For some men, the odds of them finding romance are comparable to the odds of them becoming a pro athlete. The real problem in our society is telling these guys from day one they have a shot in order to get them to buy in to the system.

iGlu3 · 2023-04-22T19:48:59+00:00

Find some social skills classes, get therapy, stop chasing emotionally unavailable people, learn to value yourself, make yourself interesting, have hobbies, have friends, read, travel, and most importantly LEARN TO SEE WOMEN AS PEOPLE.

Read women, whatch women produced media, learn women's history, befriend women for their company and who they are, respect women, and maybe then you will be someone they might want to date.

neetykeeno · 2023-04-22T16:55:06+00:00

Well enjoy your Tinder experience then. Four dudes to every girl and most of the girls are in it for shits and giggles and to see if that one guy they liked in high school shows up.

Hmmmm. Apps don't work for you, making actual cold approaches obviously doesn't work for you because if it did you'd all be out doing it not delaying as long as possible while you looksmaxx and wealthmaxx, and having a social circle doesn't work for you because blah blah blah reasons. You're all really at the ends of your wits aren't you? Maybe carve a statue then pray to Aphrodite.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pygmalion_(mythology)

BigVulvaEnergy · 2023-04-22T17:21:58+00:00

I suggest it because it expands your social circle, giving you more opportunities for meeting people.

I also suggest it so people can interact socially and not have every interaction be based on sex.

I suggest it because y'all refuse to interact with women as friends.

Vronicasawyerredsded · 2023-04-22T16:10:30+00:00

Why would/should women give dating advice to men?

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nemma88 · 2023-04-22T23:59:35+00:00

good chances are that your (single) male acquaintances/friends will eventually ask you out or express a desire for something more

...From the group of men who got to know me first?

Women give such advice because their partners in many cases are men who got to know them first. What we can't do is give out guarantees.

JustADudeTheInternet · 2023-04-23T01:21:10+00:00

Guess its just be people and Lower judgementations

DarkKnight3192 · 2023-04-23T04:29:26+00:00

Thank you for saying this truth.

cjt11203 · 2023-04-23T05:10:01+00:00

Yeah the gendered version of each piece of advice for men and women respectively is to put yourself in a position where it's easy to approach the type of women you want to approach and put yourself in a position to get approached by men you want to approach. Realistically if you're an average guy women ain't approaching you and if they are it likely isn't romantically.

Poddx · 2023-04-23T12:25:36+00:00

Yea. As a general rule dont follow womens dating advice. Only listen to guys that are actually good with women actually. What actually turns women on will offend most people to hear. We suffer from nice guy syndrome. Being nice is womens gig. Not saying be a dick though. Just dont try too hard and dont invest unless she brings it up.

ace1244 · 2023-04-23T20:15:51+00:00

I agree with your analysis of the average guy versus the average woman. And I think it is because a woman can easily find sex, but she can’t find a relationship and that’s what she really wants; ( I know many young women will vehemently disagree) so if they both want relationships, I think it’s an even playing field. But if they both want sex it’s an uneven playing field tilted to the woman’s advantage.

I have dated very attractive women for a serious relationship. For a casual relationship I’ve never been able to pull that off. That’s just life.

AlmostKindaGreat · 2023-04-23T20:34:57+00:00

You should both get hobbies/be social and grind/play the numbers.

Boxisteph · 2023-04-24T21:47:18+00:00

If she sees you as a brother do slightly more traditionally masculine things around her. There's not enough gendered polarity.

Otherwise there's nothing wrong with the advice. Most women pick men based off of personality, then adopt them as a project and try and help them get their money/status etc to where it needed to be. Women shouldn't do that but it's second nature, so unless she has friends trying to stop her, that's likely her route.

Title	A lot of dating advice given by women here only works for women
Author	Napo_De_Leone
Upvotes	248
Comments	274
Date	April 22, 2023 2:51 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/12v89bj/a_lot_of_dating_advice_given_by_women_here_only/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/a-lot-of-dating-advice-given-by-women-here-only.1215296 https://theredarchive.com/post/1215296

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