why cant you lust after average men?

jorts-enthusiast · 2026-06-17T03:53:46+00:00

“Why aren’t you attracted to people that you aren’t attracted to?”

GridReXX · 2026-06-17T11:46:14+00:00

Males can exhibit lust for a deconstructed anus. Like the asshole is over here and the rest of the body is over there and they’ll still be a contingent of dudes happy to fuck the standalone asshole.

They can feel lusty enough to fuck a cow, goat, horse, dog, a human corpse…

It’s dudes themselves who coined the terms “dumpster diving,” “butter face,” “cum dumpster,” to brag about their ability to feel lust for people who are allegedly unattractive to them or who are not “hot.”

That’s how obsessive male lust is.

So is your question why don’t females have the indiscriminate compulsive libido of males? You should ask biology and study androgens. You’ll get your answer.

Perfect-Resist5478 · 2026-06-17T02:12:52+00:00

Know why waitresses don’t show curiosity? Cuz they’re at work and they’re not curious. Why would they be curious?

You’re seriously asking why a woman doesn’t lust after a guy they’re not sexually attracted to? Because she’s not sexually attracted to him….

Most women don’t see even a hot guy and think “I wanna fuck him”… that’s just not how it works

Expensive_Lion1807 · 2026-06-17T01:59:09+00:00

Why would we? Seriously, what possible reason would there be for women to go around lusting after miscellaneous average strange men?

Most women don’t “lust” after incredibly attractive strangers. We may notice them, say to ourselves “wow, handsome man” and go on about our day, but for the vast majority of women there’s no actual “lust” involved.

Are we supposed to get all hot and horny about the possibility of having meh to uncomfortable sex with someone we know nothing about? Yippee! Gotta get me some of that and risk my safety, reputation, mental health and fertility for 25 minutes of some guy grunting, sweating on me, and then likely being either awkward or hostile afterwards?

Go ahead…make a good argument for us 🤷‍♀️

waffleznstuff30 · 2026-06-17T03:48:37+00:00

It doesn't work like that? I don't really know what to say.

Edit: I was too freaking tired to give this a full response. Because it just comes off as "WHY DON'T YOU LIKE MEEEEE!!!!!!"

Most women statistically are with "average" men. We aren't all out here dating celebrity billionaire influencers. Most of us are with average men. That average man is incredible to us? That average guy will be lusted over if he has the qualities we are looking for in a man. AND men by and large women as well by and large are all average.

We find a guy who sticks out to us that we like click with and that's a beautiful thing. If you aren't clicking with people the issue is from within not a women's issue.

MiddleZealousideal89 · 2026-06-17T04:58:56+00:00

I can be aroused by dudes who don't look like Adonis, but that doesn't mean I'll be drooling after every average guy I come across. They're just random people, similar to all the average women I also don't pay attention to.

baller696969balls · 2026-06-17T05:26:23+00:00

Oh my god I do I just don’t lust as hard as men do in general, and my individual interests in certain average men aren’t going to be applicable to every average man in the world.

Also, this whole “looking right through” people who don’t interest you thing is ridiculous. You can easily flip it around and say:

Women do see average men as people, they just don’t see them as possible romantic/sexual prospects. Men don’t see average women as people, they just see them as possible romantic/sexual prospects.

We seem to observe each other a lot differently. You don’t have to give special attention to the other gender out of obligation, everyone is a person and they are already being treated as such, according to whomever the person perceiving them is.

Objective_Ad_6265 · 2026-06-17T11:47:32+00:00

Why do you find impossible to crave food you don't like? You don't choose how it feels to you.

PlantRake · 2026-06-17T13:23:55+00:00

Because i physically cant be obsessed with people I don’t notice or forget exist. Also I don’t look around at men in public enough to know what’s average I’m focused on the things I have going on in my life.

toasterchild · 2026-06-17T01:54:24+00:00

Having men lust after you who wouldn't like one word that comes out of your mouth isn't humanizing, it's almost like sexual attraction doesn't have much to do with that.

Acrobatic-Monk9735 · 2026-06-17T04:17:09+00:00

We don’t get aroused by strangers the way men do. We get aroused as we get to know a guy and feel comfortable around him.

RelativeCondition915 · 2026-06-17T01:48:33+00:00

Lust for many women is specific and not instant. It's built on context. It's about how the person makes you feel and not always how they look. I have known absurd lust for physically unremarkable people that you cannot imagine, because they had a specific flair that promised a good time.

Good news: most of us average people lust after average people.

Bad news: the average man on tinder will not be lusted after because he is a contextless, beige, non-entity with bland pictures, a bland profile, and no unique charm to give him a dynamic with the woman he speaks to.

SeveralSadEvenings · 2026-06-17T02:19:27+00:00

Ew, why would I do that? How would lusting after average chumps make my life better in any discernible way?

zhrimpypimp · 2026-06-17T02:17:56+00:00

Go to the strip club bro. They’ll dance and flirt with you to your heart’s (wallet’s) content. That’s about as close as you’re gonna get lol.

DMmeClownPics · 2026-06-17T02:18:05+00:00

I literally do, but not for random-ass strangers. I have to have a reason to.

cb8585b · 2026-06-17T02:31:52+00:00

What do you mean “find impossible” ? desire is there or it isn’t.

I can assure you it’s of great ease and doesn’t require a thought process to not lust after random strange men.

fiftypoundpuppy · 2026-06-17T03:06:48+00:00

How is a "red-pilled man" confused by the fact that male and female sexuality are not the same?

How is a "red-pilled man" confused by the idea that men get the sexual attraction they inspire?

ThatBitchA · 2026-06-17T03:46:43+00:00

What would this look like?

Women do lust after average men. But you're not seeing it because you're looking for what...... what are you looking for?

What does women lusting after average men look like to you????

KayRay1994 · 2026-06-17T01:57:41+00:00

I don’t mean to laugh but this expression of frustration is kinda hilarious to me. It isn’t even cause of the average men, but you’re practically yelling “WHY CANT YOU JUST BE INTO ME?!?!?!?”

rosephase · 2026-06-17T01:49:13+00:00

I don't lust after strangers. I have to know someone and really like and admire and enjoy them. Then I lust after them as long as they are in a pretty large range, which "average" very much is in. Bald, short, big, harry are all smoking hot when he is amazing to talk to and enjoyable to be around.

toad-wrangler · 2026-06-17T12:26:39+00:00

I don't find lusting after average men impossible. Just not all of them.

I've only shown lust once I'm actually interested in the person. A lot of people suck to be around- all they do is complain. I try to avoid attention from shitty people who have horribly pessemistic and/or disrespectful attitudes, and I have to get to know them first before I can figure out what they are like.

Why would anyone be obsessed with average men they don't know? That's psycho.

Most people don't notice most people most of the time. We are all busy living our lives. Servers are at work working. Their job has nothing to do with sex directly or indirectly. There is no obligation for them to show interest in the 100 or so patrons they interact with on a shift. It's also a very fast paced job- not a time for dilly dallying. Obviously you've never been a server, or at least not a good one.

chamomilecloud · 2026-06-17T02:30:33+00:00

I lust after average men, or any man, when they give me something to lust over. When they are charming and seductive.

I don’t look at any men and lust after them just because of how he looks. I have responsive desire, sorry.

Nellylocheadbean · 2026-06-17T02:26:52+00:00

You’re just not sexually attractive, simple. It could be anything from your looks, your mannerisms, or attitude.

Also women are typically cordial and/or kind to average men. Men see that as being invisible because they strongly desire women while women view it as indifference because the desire is not as strong.

Altruistic_Look_7868 · 2026-06-17T01:50:00+00:00

You don't lust after average women either, just the ones you notice. Some self awareness would benefit you 🤣

ResponsibilityAny217 · 2026-06-17T03:34:52+00:00

Genuinely, I think it would be easier if u just ask men to reroute their sexual desires to other men instead of asking women to raise theirs.

It's a lot easier, less risky and more benefits.

Easier bc rerouting something that's already there is easier than generating/multiplying something. Less risky bc men cans get pregnant More benefits bc men are more likely to have and have matching sexual desires and drives.

Work on getting men to flirt with other men and be affectionate with other men and expressing it.

-Shes-A-Carnival · 2026-06-17T22:41:11+00:00

show me a picture of an "Average man"

im not aroused be men im not attracted to

Chicken_Nugget_2 · 2026-06-17T02:12:25+00:00

What kind of question is this? If I'm not attracted to someone I can't lust after them? And I have "lusted" after men who might be considered average, because contrary to popular belief attraction is subjective.

GroundbreakingAlps78 · 2026-06-17T02:18:49+00:00

A man’s behavior is a major MAJOR factor in how attractive he is. Average looking men with the right attitude are absolutely worth lusting over. I’d say they are more lust-worthy than “Chad” if Chad has a bad attitude.

Siukslinis_acc · 2026-06-17T02:28:07+00:00

There is no buildup. I don't have a swich that immediatelly goes off when i see someone. So still images does nothing for me, they only do something if i have already experienced the man in motion or had buildup, as the picture just triggers the memories of those stuff.

Not to mention the menstrual cycle. One week i do have thoughts of jumping on random men, but i have enough inhibition not to fulfill the thoughts (and not wanting to get pregnant strengthens the inhibition a lot). Two weeks of "meh" and one week of "hell no".

Lost_Reaction_5489 · 2026-06-17T02:10:25+00:00

Low self-esteem is not attractive. You cannot use people's opinions of you to prop up your self-esteem. The vast majority of all couples are average. Do you truly believe there is no lust involved in those relationships? That is illogical, and a cognitive distortion born from low self-esteem. It absolutely sucks to feel invisible, but no one can solve that lack except for you.

chalkandapples · 2026-06-17T05:43:41+00:00

Men do lust more than women when it comes to pure lust. Men can feel lust simply because someone is a woman, but much less women feel lust simply because someone is a man. For example, I am attracted to men in a way that I don't feel towards women. But I like the men I do mostly because of who they are as people, not because of their maleness. I feel like men are more prone to liking someone simply because she is female. Not many women I know likes someone simply because he's male.

There are women, and I know a couple of them, that lusts after men similar to how I feel many men lusts after women. They get excited at the prospect of just being around guys and it makes their day. They tend to enjoy casual sex and seek out men for that. They truly enjoy men for just being male. But there are far fewer women like this than men.

-nymphobrainiac- · 2026-06-17T03:49:13+00:00

I prefer to lust after men in the safety of my own mind tyvm. I'm not gonna make someone else uncomfortable just because I feel horny.

IcyTrapezium · 2026-06-17T03:58:06+00:00

Because I lust after attractive men. My lust requires attraction.

Dependent-Tailor7366 · 2026-06-17T02:09:37+00:00

Sex is pretty gross all things considered and It’s repulsive to obsess over it.

Average men are ugly.

Tylikcat · 2026-06-17T02:22:51+00:00

First, remember that most women don't just look at men and lust after them. It's a different process. Even when we lust after actors or something, it's usually more than just their looks - there's a whole set of performances, and stories about them that give an idea of who they are. (Often a false idea, and I'm not into the lusting after celebrities thing, personally. Okay, there was the crush on Michelle Yeoh...)

So, I do sometimes lust after average looking men, though not because of their appearance per se. (Sure, appearance is a nice bennie, and they can't repulse me. But while there's definitely a halo effect, it's not that high on list.) I don't lust after more generally average men, but then, I'm not average myself, and the key thing I'm looking for is someone I can engage with intellectually.

ResponsibilityAny217 · 2026-06-17T03:09:28+00:00

what is it you find impossible about lusting after average men

1st women tend to lack the testosterone and therefore the constancy of men's sex drive. So what ur asking is biologically impossible for a women to enmass lust after a bunch of men.

If I put number to it I can explain it better. Personally I predict I will be attracted to 50 men in my lifetime. Vs man here said he is attracted to 40 women in a day.

Of the men I'm attracted to I think they vere more on the normal/average side none of them have been Chad's like 666.

Even women who self-identity as pervert they identify that way bc compared to other women they do lust for more men, like they may see like 5ish men they want think are lustable, but that's still very small compared to men.

the_scar_when_you_go · 2026-06-17T13:07:56+00:00

Do you want women to not be "like a crazy person," or to "act obsessed"? How should women perform lust?

Flightlessbirbz · 2026-06-17T23:32:05+00:00

Men who are seen as average by a majority of other people but happen to appeal to me and I’ve built some sort of connection with? Absolutely. Just any random average man? Absolutely not.

Men do not lust after average women unless she happens to be their type either. Many are willing to use average women as a warm hole/ego boost, but they do not genuinely desire the average woman in the way you’re looking for from women. Men also often forget what the average woman really is, since their idea of “average woman” is the “average” slim 14-25 yr old girl/woman of their preferred ethnicity with sexually dimorphic facial features. So, perhaps the average porn actress… she’s not a supermodel by any means, but not the average woman either.

The waitress example is really weird as well. Why does the waitress have to flirt with you to make you feel human? They’re just doing their job. And gen z has poor social skills in general. I’m a woman and get on the receiving end of the “gen z stare” from women as well as men that age too. They have that look because they’re uncomfortable and hate their job.

Afraid_Fondant_7903 · 2026-06-18T04:58:47+00:00

male sexuality isn’t the default

Ronniebbb · 2026-06-18T03:11:01+00:00

I mean we cannot control who we find attractive, nobody can. There are plenty of women who find what some would say are average or ugly guys attractive.

To me my husband is the most handsome guy. I have no clue how others rank him, I just know what I see when I look at him.

oppositegeneva · 2026-06-19T22:13:40+00:00

I’ve personally seen a lot of average women obsess over average guys, but not right out of the gate, it was always in the context of a relationship and that relationship never began from cold approaching

I’ve just concluded that average men need to warm up women because women typically don’t desire men the same way men desire women

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JollyBowler2510 · 2026-06-25T09:59:42+00:00

Because we aren't attracted to them? It's nature. That doesn't mean treat them like shit, but not being attracted is the issue here. Why don't you show interest at average looking women?

Let me be clear, the ONLY man I actually have gotten horny or lusting over, without meeting, was Jacob Elordi. So there's that.....

AchingAmy · 2026-06-17T04:21:50+00:00

I'm a lesbian

Title	why cant you lust after average men?
Author	Numerous-Month-7688
Upvotes	0
Comments	375
Date	June 16, 2026 11:59 PM UTC (1 month ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1u7uf8t/why_cant_you_lust_after_average_men/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/why-cant-you-lust-after-average-men.1582982 https://theredarchive.com/post/1582982

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