Is having a "hoe phase" important for maturing ?

SSCookieLover · 2022-03-21T12:11:35+00:00

Some people learn from touching hot water. Some never learn or like that feeling. Some see others touching hot water and learn from that.

wtknight · 2022-03-21T12:07:56+00:00

No. I think one can attempt to date multiple people monogamously in an effort to find the right one rather than just have sex with strangers in order to go through the same kind of maturation process.

LittleDragonMaiden · 2022-03-21T15:14:48+00:00

I didn’t have a hoe phase and I turned out pretty good, in fact, I turned out better than some women who did have a hoe phase. I’m married, I waited until marriage, I graduated college, I married a successful and kind man, and I have a good friend group of lovely likeminded women.

Cupcakelover1985 · 2022-03-21T11:46:10+00:00

Not really. It’s a matter of personality types. Some people are High SES and high libido and having a hoe phase would be important for them. It helps them discover a lot about themselves as people. For those on the opposite side of the spectrum having a hoe phase is not important for them because they can discover what they need to about themselves by having fewer sexual partners.

People that aren’t having hoe phases are only missing out if they’re high SES. It’s like with partying and going out every weekend. You’re more likely to feel stunted and like you’re missing out if you’re an extrovert vs an introvert who would be ok not going out as much.

krischens · 2022-03-21T12:16:19+00:00

Maybe they are "missing out" on some things, but why would it affect maturity? Wouldn't it be the other way around - you are mature enough to settle down and therefore not go through a "hoe phase"?

feistykalorina · 2022-03-21T13:16:38+00:00

In my culture there is no such thing as hoe phase, there is adolescent phase where you act up by being defiant and dress funny lol. Hoe phase is not about a time frame it’s about personality types some people are promiscuous hoes regardless of their age or gender and some people have self respect I’m a woman with an extremely high libido since very early on masturbation helped me stay a virgin until marriage it wasn’t easy but it’s doable, much better than risking STDS, fuckboys, ruined reputation, potential pregnancy that would have resulted in marriage

mrcs84usn · 2022-03-21T13:32:21+00:00

Having a hoe phase is a product of modern times and sexual liberation. It’s more of a social pressure than it is some sort of psychological requirement for maturity. There are plenty of people who married (and are still married to) their high school sweethearts and are doing just fine.

ThisBoringLife · 2022-03-21T11:54:44+00:00

Maturation in what way?

AFAIK, the only thing people who don't do this is missing out on is periods of time solely focusing on sex. It's on you to determine if that's a bad thing.

mextreme10 · 2022-03-21T15:14:54+00:00

They definitely can learn a lot about men/women, what they like/dislike. Most come to the conclusion that it doesn’t provide long term satisfaction or enjoyment, but not all. I’m not saying that casual sex is necessarily wrong for everyone but most eventually conclude that it’s not the best way of life for them. You definitely gain memories and or experience just for the fun. It probably was fun to have had multiple partners or just a guy/gal that was really good looking.

The question is does the benefits outweigh the damage done. Potential trauma, safety risks, pair bonding problems, emotional baggage, etc. Does the benefits outweighs the negatives. Yeah you’ve gained a lot, but now you’re never satisfied by your long term partner. You have to lie to all of your future partners about your past. You are potentially pregnant or have STDs. That’s a tough way to mature, rather than learning from others.

The other thing to consider is lessons learned the hard way typically stick better than lessons learned from others. You never have to question if being a hoe was better because you’ve actually experienced it and now. That’s a stronger belief than anyone just telling you that you it’s a worse way.

funlightmandarin · 2022-03-21T12:06:20+00:00

I don't see how I'm missing out by being sexually disappointed by random guys. What exactly would a hoe phase mature here? I find it more important to learn how to be in a relationship long-term, I find that more mature. Additionally, I won't be sexually disappointed here.

raju1462 · 2022-03-21T13:48:40+00:00

No. That is just some bs excuse for justifying being a hoe and some men agree because they hope they can get laid.

Arnold_Incelinator · 2022-03-21T11:44:58+00:00

maturing?

being responsible?

being able to control your impulses?

not really.

and there is no such thing as a hoe phase, a hoe is a hoe and that never changes.

facsis · 2022-03-21T13:49:22+00:00

I don’t think I was missing out. Seeing many people without sex involved really helped me figure out who’s good and who’s not. That’s maturity. In fact, I think hoe phase keeps you stuck with the childish idea that you will stay young forever and everything is a game to you. It’s a total abdication of responsibility.

LondonLobby · 2022-03-21T14:27:19+00:00

I dont want a lady who has had a “hoe” phase. I have only been with 6 different women my entire Life, yet some ladies are in the double digits

Prize-Thought-4205 · 2022-03-21T15:26:02+00:00

Nope, the healthiest and most mentally/emotionally stable people don’t feel the need to do anything and aren’t easily influenced by peer pressure or FOMO or wanting to do what they think others are. Men or women, young pre teen girl or boy they might have curiosity or feel lust but the healthiest people that were raised correctly don’t feel like they’re missing something deeper or need sex with many people to discover themselves instead of the billion other ways they can discover themselves. Relying externally too much instead of internally can actually fuck up a persons sense of self, self esteem, everything since they rely on other people. Maybe a lot of kids aren’t raised properly so that’s why we see so many more people who feel like it’s a NEED. Instead of a want, and aren’t happy in different LTRs through out their lives. A lot of girls do use sex & promiscuity as a way to try & discover themselves, what they feel like is missing from their lives. Men who have the option to do it just see it as fun, sex, pleasure & getting a ton of variety out of women. Most men actually settle for LTRs and choose one girlfriend to actually share a connection with, memories, intimacy, more meaningful affection and getting to know, cherish a person more… HOWEVER if the girl isn’t loyal to them they can also change as people and feel very heartbroken, become the guy that doesn’t want LTRs as deeply or badly anymore like men normally start out as, and go for just getting variety & not to close with any women emotionally. Combine this with the heavy rise of polygamy, open relationships, promiscuity and women’s natural pre-selection, hypergamy instincts. And yeah you have what you have.

kaiden08 · 2022-03-21T14:40:08+00:00

We have a culture where these “phases” are considered normal and/or part of life so what happens is due to the cultural expectations people feel entitled to this experience and as if missing this is like missing a rite of passage or life benchmark.

I recall once sitting in on listening in a herpes support group and one of the women bemoaned her diagnosis of genital herpes. After all “you’re supposed to be sexually adventurous and sleep around in you’re 20s. I thought I was doing everything right. Why did this happen to me?”

Christian_Kong · 2022-03-21T16:10:33+00:00

I would guess being very very conservative here that maybe 30% men even have a chance at doing so, so I don't think this is the case.

A_solo_tripper · 2022-03-21T19:00:24+00:00

You mean is getting pounded by 1000's of dudes before you settle down with one good for you?

shockedpikachu123 · 2022-03-21T13:13:29+00:00

Not really. Not sure what being pumped and dumped repeatedly can enlighten someone about. Going through a celibate phase is more important for maturing

Drougen · 2022-03-21T14:04:29+00:00

Yes, people who don't go around and fuck a ton are somehow not mature. 😂🙄

LotBuilder · 2022-03-21T16:10:38+00:00

I wouldn’t say Everywoman needs to go through it but the girls that married their high school sweetheart and Have only slept with one man certainly have some curiosity and wonder if they’re missing out. My area has a fairly large Mormon population, and if you match on tinder or bumble with a recently separated Mormon girl, you are in for a wild few weeks. 75% of the time they’re going back to their husband.

Darklillies · 2022-03-21T17:56:31+00:00

There’s a difference between experience and a ‘hoe’ phase. Is sex some life changing horrible thing that changes a person? No; but at the same time, is sex an emotionless activity without consequence? Also no. I would suggest having dating experience, dating and having proper relationships is good for maturing, sleeping with strangers will only harm you. Sleeping around with strangers, for both men and women, doesn’t really build anything, it damages your esteem and risks stds. Sex is a vulnerable emotional experience, having sex during loving relationships, even if you don’t end up married builds experience, but sleeping around does more damage than good.

SwaySh0t · 2022-03-21T18:14:10+00:00

I think it is for men. Men who’ve had a ho phase tend to be less jaded/bitter and less judgmental of women’s nature in general. The older generation called it: “sowing your wild oats” its 100% a thing.

The results: I don’t feel the need to coax my partner into doing some depraved shit I never got to try when I did it exploring with other girls casually. I know what my wants and needs are and can better articulate my boundaries. if you’ve had enough casual sex you realize it’s mundane activity and you can think more clearly about other aspects of your relationship etc

Physical-Pie748 · 2022-03-21T18:41:28+00:00

no. it can ruin you. stds/lower stability in marriage/violence from random hookups/waste of time

Lateralanouncer · 2022-03-21T19:18:17+00:00

Definitely. Men need to experience alot of hoes as our relations to the opposite sex have an positive or negative effect on our lives.

As.

Wakens men to experience what promiscuous women get up to, etc.
To know that access to a woman's body is not valuable. Eg. Drunken girls night out, waking up, not knowing who she let fuck her. Promiscuous woman's body's are not temples; they belong to the streets.
If wanting an ltr after that experience and / or while having plates (hoes), You have enough game to get the type of woman you desire for an ltr or marriage.

JameisBong · 2022-03-21T21:00:23+00:00

No. I think it sets both genders up for failure. You suddenly have a buffet of sexual partners and activities... How exactly are you supposed to go back to regular, boring vanilla sex?

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IHuntSmallKids · 2022-03-21T13:34:20+00:00

SlinkyCyberSleuth · 2022-03-21T13:51:34+00:00

No, and no.

That's about as simple as it gets.

2022-03-21T14:19:14+00:00

it isn't

flapperfemmefatale · 2022-03-21T14:43:37+00:00

Nope

Emil_1996 · 2022-03-21T14:46:48+00:00

Uhh what?

Is this a serious question??

Aviadcool111 · 2022-03-21T15:09:49+00:00

Considering that std's are on the rise I would say no

Remarkable_Sort_1706 · 2022-03-21T16:08:13+00:00

I don’t want a “hot phase,” but I absolutely feel like I’m missing out. I worry I’m going to wake up one day and regret so much when it comes to this

MedicalOkami1914 · 2022-03-21T16:17:11+00:00

Once a hoe = always a hoe

scwizard · 2022-03-21T16:27:59+00:00

For basically as long as there's been humans there's been hoes.

The bible is very clear on things. Basically that it's evil, so it's intrinsic to human nature but isn't something it's wise to tolerate as a society.

But if you want to try and argue against the Bible you can argue either that the super traditional family structure, of two virgins in a monogamous relationship raising kids together, is somehow suboptimal. Or you can argue that somehow traditional families need hoes and hoes need traditional families.

The only issue is that there isn't good evidence. Being raised by a hoe doesn't seem to make girls happier (just the opposite in fact) and doesn't seem to make them have more children on average.

2022-03-21T16:58:05+00:00

I don't think I missed out anything. I can learn from other people's mistakes. I knew a couple of girls that got pregnant in high school. Why would I want to try that?

greedyleopard42 · 2022-03-21T17:47:40+00:00

i don’t think you’re missing out if you don’t, though doing it with multiple people has certainly helped my retroactive jealousy when i DO get in a relationship.

With the first guy i dated, he was the first person i even kissed, and though we both lost our virginity to each other, he had a few other relationships where he got head fingered etc.

i could NOT stop being bothered by it. it wasn’t even sex and i was fuming at the fact that he did anything with anyone else. i knew it was irrational but i couldn’t stop it. Now i’ve had more relationship experience, and a few casual experiences under my belt. the casual experiences really put into perspective how unimportant the person from a casual encounter can be. I no longer get anywhere near as bothered about the other persons sexual experience. Still bothers me- i’m human, but it doesn’t make me feel sick now lmao.

errrright · 2022-03-21T17:51:29+00:00

Not necessarily. For some people it can do more harm than good, but it all depends on expectations and intentions. I think if anything, it takes a certain level of humility going into a hoe phase to come out unscathed.

2022-03-21T17:53:17+00:00

Depends.

Is going through a “f#ck boy phase” important for maturing?

When we identify phases for one gender, we need an equal comparison to the other so one isn’t left in the dark about how to improve themselves (unless it’s something only one gender has like periods for women, obv there’s no male equivalent to that).

thesmelliestfart · 2022-03-21T18:46:27+00:00

In my thirties, I have friends who had or are still in their hoe phase, as well as friends who are serial monogamists who are incredibly immature. So I guess it doesn’t really matter your view on sex if you’re not doing inner work and actively trying to grow as a person it won’t happen.

PurpleKittensRock · 2022-03-21T21:17:19+00:00

I think there should be an "exploration phase" where you gain social aptitude, gauge the type of people you attract, find your boundaries by getting out of your comfort zone etc. But I don't think you need to go full hoe-mode to get there... I sure didn't have to - dating people without involving sex was enough.
But people are different. For some it's a self-esteem issue, where they need to get through a couple hundred bodies to feel adequately sexually validated.
Others just really like sex, and compartmentalize it entirely from the rest of their existence, so for them it's not a philosophical/social matter but just plain hedonism lol.

AquaChip · 2022-03-21T12:52:58+00:00

Some people’s version of “living life to to the fullest” is having adventures and sex with lots of people in their youth. Other people’s version of “living life to the fullest” is finding one special person and having adventures with them. Neither is good or bad.

Classic_Head3437 · 2022-03-21T15:32:48+00:00

I had a hoe phase in my mid-20s. Every woman I slept with either had a bf or was married. It was a good time. I stopped before I got a shotgun to the belly.

IrvingChernov · 2022-03-21T11:44:44+00:00

As someone who is 35 who went from relationship to relationship throughout my 20s because I was petrified of being alone, I definitely regret not sleeping around more just to test out how attractive I may or may not be

Professional-Car7752 · 2022-03-21T11:55:29+00:00

Posted the same exact comment on another sub but it fits here too so:

Had a discussion about this to some reddit women. They try to hide their bad selfesteem so bad behind promiscuity. Promiscous women are dependent on sexual intercourse with men for their selfworth to be determinend. That is what makes them cheating. So you are 100% right

So no. It is proven that promiscous women actually are worse then non promiscous women in any means of having a mature, loving relationship. Source

neetykeeno · 2022-03-21T12:49:58+00:00

There's lots of paths to maturation. Lots of sex is just one part of several of those paths.

techr0nin · 2022-03-21T12:18:41+00:00

As a man it helped me alot in building confidence, both sexual and otherwise. It also helps me stay true to my wife now that I’m married, because I don’t need to wonder about what it’s like to be with other women, and I’ve tried just about anything that I would like to try, some of which I wouldn’t be comfortable doing to my wife.

Sunshine12e · 2022-03-21T18:55:25+00:00

No. I was with one person from 16-33, and didn't feel that I was missing out on anything, except that he became obsessed with porn as the internet came about. Afterwards, most of the next guys were worse, to be honest. Maybe one about equal. Those pre-porn years were the best, and I don't think that time is coming back for anyone.

Malgurath · 2022-03-21T12:05:58+00:00

No, but I do think if you're the type of person that constantly fantasizes about having sex with multiple people then you should probably have one and see what that brings you.

Visible-Doughnut-782 · 2022-03-21T15:54:55+00:00

It’s hilarious that there are actually people equating the most base human desire to bang as many bodies as possible as being “important for maturing”. Like taking 300 cocks is some noble rites of passage necessary to reach true enlightenment. 😂

The question should probably be reframed as is having a “hoe phase” important to having a fulfilling life? Lots of people believe “variety is the spice of life” and is why so many of us( male and female) seek sexual gratification from as many different people as possible. A desire for sexual variety( and the ego validation it brings) is hardwired into us in the same way a desire for seeking any new and interesting experience is. Human beings are inherently curious creatures that seek out novel experiences. If we weren’t we never would have spread across the entire globe.

Variety might be the spice of life but there are of course those that also believe in “everything in moderation”. Too much of a good thing can easily become a bad thing. This is not just true of casual sex but much of what people find pleasurable in life-food, drugs, video games, social media ect…

Legal drugs are probably most analogous to casual sex. Despite being perfectly legal and it being nobody else’s business what goes into your body- there is still a social stigma to getting persistently high or drunk. Same goes with having multiple partners. Especially for woman.

As such there will always be a trade off. Most people crave a varied sexual lifestyle but many balk at the judgements it might bring-hence derogatory terminology like “hoe phase”.

Ultimately all human beings suffer from the “grass is always greener” effect. It’s impossible for so somebody to truly live a life devoid of regrets. Somebody who has only ever had a single partner who they love and cherish and have raised a family with-might still on their death bed regret not having a “hoe phase” or “sowing their wild oats”.

Somebody who has banged their way through Tinder and fulfilled every sexual desire they ever had might equally on their death bed regret never experiencing a life long monogamous relationship with somebody they truly love beyond simple sexual gratification. No life is perfect.

Lotus_82 · 2022-03-21T16:14:01+00:00

A lot of these frustrated incel types don’t realize this but sexual maturity is a huge part of a healthy individual’s emotional development.

The stuff people are into sexually isn’t the same six months after they lose their virginity and at six years after.

People discover themselves, they experiment to explore their kinks and figure out what they’re really into.

Which is why it’s very hard for people with dramatically different amounts of experience to be sexually compatible, or compatible in general.

Orange_Paisley · 2022-03-21T11:51:35+00:00

I didn’t have mine till I was 40. No regrets. But I was selective with my hoeing and chose men that were already dear to me as friends rather than randos at the bar.

Anti_Thing · 2022-03-21T13:39:06+00:00

I would say a “hoe phase” isn’t necessary. But marrying the first person who takes interest in you is also stupid. I don’t think people should marry until they’ve been with a partner for at least 5 years and preferably not until late 20s

gofigure62 · 2022-03-21T14:00:32+00:00

Depends on the person. Some people have to go through a phase to be able to appreciate the security that a monogamous relationship provides. For some people it's an issue with a lack of self control/restraint. For some people they just have a high sex drive and they have sex with a significant amount of people because they can. Sometimes hypersexuality in men and women is an aftermath of sexual abuse or trauma.

There is no "general" answer for someone who is promiscuous. Different people have different reasons, some neutral, some negative, and some positive.

I never had a "hoe" phase. But I did have sex after a 3rd date for the first time and it was pretty liberating, despite the sex itself being nothing to write home about. So I can see the "excitement" people get out having a ton of sexual partners.

veloron2008 · 2022-03-22T00:55:54+00:00

A "hoe phase" is just straight up, unbridled sex addiction in my view. Basically, weak minded people giving into their primal urges.

It's neither healthy nor attractive, and is probably a strong indication of underlying mental issues. A high physical libido (SES lol whatever) can be handled by a relationship partner, and/or toys and hands. Most people engaging in this behavior are seeking some sort of validation.

So yes, slut shaming (of men too!) is healthy for society as a whole.

ogsimpology · 2022-03-21T12:36:23+00:00

No. It's more like "having fun when you're young and hot", then later settling down.

I don't see anything wring with it. If you wanna have fun, do it... I personally am boring and don't have those options anyway, so I matured without it

poorboy2022 · 2022-03-21T13:13:49+00:00

I am in my mid 20s. An advice I get from my married 40s friends is that I should "hoe out" to get a feel of how my relationships go and what I want from a partner.

I am not sure what to take of that. They are all well adjusted experienced men so I kinda trust their advice.

sarkington · 2022-03-21T15:11:11+00:00

Yes, yes; absolutes are always accurate

Noodlesandwings · 2022-03-21T17:07:08+00:00

Important?!? No. But it’s shouldn’t be shamed if you want to go through a Hoe phase

acornfroggie · 2022-03-21T22:08:16+00:00

People who have hoe phases are missing out on love.

Metrorexz · 2022-03-21T14:33:22+00:00

Well..

I have this sexual fantasy of tying my dick to a church bell with a rope and then, with great and intense force, jumpin down from the tower.

kenshn1 · 2022-03-21T15:28:41+00:00

I think casually dating is. But one night stands, getting a train ran, threeways, etc ie. Extreme hoeing that porn and some popular media push, isn't necessary at all and actually detrimental.

Guitar-Master9891 · 2022-03-21T16:20:02+00:00

Maturing? No.

But people with a huge missmatch in sexual experience don't make for good couples.

I'm usually the most experienced in relationships since I've been around a lot, but never ocurs to me that I'm more "mature" than my fiancee or any of my exes because I banged a ton of women.

2022-03-21T16:31:39+00:00

It's going to vary wildly from individual to individual. I will say in my case, nope! Never went through one, never wanted to, don't regret a thing.

Not everyone's sexuality is the same...guys like to talk about female solipsism but they are constantly projecting their sexuality onto us.

2022-03-21T16:50:07+00:00

DeJuanBallard · 2022-03-21T16:52:53+00:00

Past_Course_5130 · 2022-03-21T17:02:14+00:00

Not for me. Maybe for some other people it is though, I don’t know.

Thebestbyanytest · 2022-03-21T17:42:04+00:00

I’m a virgin reaching beyond the age where that would be considered to be normal. Due to this lack of sexual experience, I do have a fear of missing out, and still feel like I’m sexually immature. I don’t think a full blown hoe phase is necessary, but some experience is good

decoy88 · 2022-03-21T17:57:38+00:00

“Hoe phase” is subjective. People always overestimate the activities actually done when women use that label.

EviessVeralan · 2022-03-21T17:59:24+00:00

No. Practically everything you can get from sleeping with strangers you can get in better quality from an LTR without the risks of STDs.

ExerciseQuickly · 2022-03-21T18:14:24+00:00

Yes and no, depends on the person. In a “perfect” world everyone would be able to have a hoe phase without any problems, learn from it and make use of this knowledge in future relationships. However wether this is appropriate for the person in question or not depends on the amount of self-distance a person has. I’m gonna try to keep this as gender neutral as possible but let’s just say sometimes we call something a hoe-phase but it’s not really a hoe-phase. It’s us throwing ourselves at people who we are attracted to but haven’t really vetted and secretly deep down we yearn for a connection and at that point it’s very damaging and can stunt your growth and have you stuck in a set of very destructive thought patterns that will have an impact on your future relationships, like it or not. But if you’re able to prevent yourself from tying your emotional well-being to another person it’s perfectly fine really. But people don’t work like this and one specific cough gender cough might have an advantage in this conundrum.

CosmicBioHazard · 2022-03-21T18:21:13+00:00

What are we defining as "maturing", exactly?

let's be socially conservative and say that mature means that you recognize the value of stability and the emptiness of whoring around and aren't tempted to discard the former in favor of the later.

Let's also assume that maturity is a one-way street and that once you've learned that lesson, it's learned.

One possible outcome of a hoe phase is that you get burned by the emptiness of it and learn that stability is better, sure, but just as often feeding a sex addiction just makes it more severe. You also see people who start on team 'lifelong commitment' and get burned by that, say in a bad divorce, and start their hoe phase then, having 'learned their lesson' in the 'wrong' direction. For the former you could make the argument that they've failed to properly mature and got roped into the hoe phase from a place of already low maturity, but in the case of the latter, you've got a loss of maturity, a regression. The question is, how do these people come out on the other side of a 'regressive hoe phase'? do they come back ready to give settling down another shot, or remain just as jilted as they were when they started it?

back_in_blyat · 2022-03-21T18:23:25+00:00

About as important as having a "heroin phase" so you learn about the dangers of losing self-control and don't get that fomo later after only having drank on weekends and hit a few blunts /s

Ainsleygz · 2022-03-21T19:10:20+00:00

It’s called a hoe “phase” for a reason. A phase is just a passing of time. That is where the maturity grows, it’s not solely because of sex or random partners. Life is full of learning experiences that you have over time. That’s it. Some people learn from intimate partners, bosses, coworkers, friends, family, etc. Life is ever changing, we all go through phases. We are constantly learning and (hopefully) maturing and become wiser because of it.

Flightlessbirbz · 2022-03-21T19:29:58+00:00

No, that’s not something everyone wants. Casual sex is usually not a very positive experience for women, and honestly not something I would recommend unless itself something she truly wants to do and understands it offers no validation and may also not be physically enjoyable. For men, it’s also not necessary, but if a guy feels the need to have a hoe phase, most important thing is that he’s honest with the women he’s hoeing around with. Being a player is a sign of poor character.

That being said, I also don’t usually recommend marrying your first boyfriend or girlfriend straight out of HS or college. If it happens it happens, but I think that’s where people can feel like they missed out and never got a chance to mature into their own person.

bluestjuice · 2022-03-21T20:11:52+00:00

Haha, no. People grow in different ways. How you manifest your sexuality doesn’t predetermine anything.

BennyHillThemeStops · 2022-03-21T20:19:28+00:00

No, I did pretty much everything I wanted to do sexually within my one previous relationship and I don't need to have casual sex anymore. All the times I did have casual sex, the sex was bad and the girls were not very attractive.

Hot_Role9647 · 2022-03-21T20:34:27+00:00

no, it’s an excuse to be a whore that’s socially acceptable to other women

Akillahbee · 2022-03-21T21:14:53+00:00

It isn’t important it will damage you in the long run and all it’s worth is momentary pleasure that makes you feel bad afterwards

Distinct_Ad3163 · 2022-03-21T21:55:07+00:00

Fit_Kiwi9703 · 2022-03-21T22:56:43+00:00

"Missing out" on what?

Personal growth is nonlinear.

GVM3SnakeBeater · 2022-03-22T00:15:21+00:00

Stunted maturity? What kind of maturity ffs?

"If you train to be a bus driver that will make you a better pilot."

"If you train to be a hoe that will make you a mature person."

This is idiotic.

FatmanSlim93 · 2022-03-22T00:52:27+00:00

No. I had mine and honestly it probably hurt me more than it benefited me. But if people wanna have one go for it

hekutoru_ · 2022-03-22T03:20:26+00:00

Lol hahaha

Karaokoki · 2022-03-22T09:31:38+00:00

I grew up in Purity Culture and thus did not have a hoe phase before I got married. Did the whole virgins until the wedding night thing.

After 13 years of terrible sex (he was not interested in making it pleasurable for me, felt using toys was an insult to his masculinity, and discouraged me from masturbating) and abuse, I left.

Then I had a hoe phase. And discovered polyamory, so I guess by some people's rubric, I'm still in a hoe phase.

I don't think a hoe phase is necessary for everyone. I do think it was important for me, as I was shedding my strict religious beliefs about sex in general at the same time.

Short answer: everyone is different. It's necessary for some and not necessary for others.

The problems come about when people decide a person's value is determined by how many sex partners a person has had.

Freevoulous · 2022-03-22T13:50:11+00:00

For men, definitely yes.

For women, LIKELY yes, though it depends on the reason they have for hoe-ing. Ok if its for pure fun and lust, probably not ok if it comes from some kind of insecurity.

eyelinerqueen83 · 2022-03-22T22:30:45+00:00

Yep. We are all sexual animals and it’s just a repose to our nature. Also it helps one narrow down what they are into as far as a life partner.

MrBurke100 · 2022-03-25T19:50:48+00:00

It's important if you want to sell your soul and become a walking sex organ.

(Does not apply to men)

Kodama_Keeper · 2022-05-15T16:31:51+00:00

Look at your parents and grandparents, or all the older generations of people in your life or just walking down the street. There was no "hoe phase" for them, as least not the ones we love and respect. Are they mature? Compare them to those who are now going through their own hoe phase. Which group is the more mature?

How can this even be a question?

Title	Is having a "hoe phase" important for maturing ?
Author	Pm_Me_Dirty_Thought
Upvotes	49
Comments	258
Date	March 21, 2022 11:32 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/tj9or4/is_having_a_hoe_phase_important_for_maturing/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/is-having-a-hoe-phase-important-for-maturing.1108276 https://theredarchive.com/post/1108276

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