It would be easier to focus on the type of women you want rather than getting upset you cant succeed with most women.

Prudent_Heat23 · 2026-04-20T17:04:32+00:00

Casting a narrow net feels like a non-viable option to most men because the probability of reciprocal interest from any particular woman is so low. That said, they often make it even lower by having a featureless personality that attempts to please everyone. Seeming okay to everyone is useless. Seeming weird to most but potentially exciting the right person is the path that gives you a shot at a good relationship.

Isolation_Man · 2026-04-20T17:55:16+00:00

Ragebait used to be believable

BlackTransMaam2 · 2026-04-20T19:29:54+00:00

Classic, the gender that has a multitude of options lecturing the gender that struggles to get any options to do better.

Jephta · 2026-04-20T18:46:15+00:00

The entire point of trying to successful with women in general in dating is in order to increase the options a man has so that hopefully, god willing, one of those options turns out to be halfway decent.

All of the things you've described are filters. They take a set of options and further narrow them down. This is not something that a person with almost no options to begin with can afford to do. As with every bit of advice women give to men in dating, it's useless at best and counterproductive at worst, and doesn't even make any sense once you give it a moment's thought.

I don't think women are even capable of understanding men's dating problems. It's something they cannot even conceptualize. Can you imagine what it's like to open a dating app after swiping every day for a week straight and seeing no activity? "Hmm, maybe I should add 'only women that want to fuck around plz' to my profile and that'll increase my matches from 0?" Could you be any more out of touch with the reality most men face?

AhkrinCz · 2026-04-20T16:51:57+00:00

Considering your advice is aimed towards already unsucessful men:

1) If you refuse to pay on dates you will filter out even non gold digger women. I'd say you will shrink your dating pool atleast by 90%. Awful advice.

2) Lmao this is like telling homeless person to just win lottery.

3) Actually decent advice.

YveisGrey · 2026-04-20T17:53:36+00:00

This is a good point but the execution is all wrong.

Men who seek women romantic partners should narrow their field by demographic not the way you’re saying.

The problem isn’t paying for dates or sleeping around because most women aren’t into that no matter what so he’ll lose out on too many women going that route unless he is exceptionally good looking which he probably isn’t if he’s struggling.

Such a man should narrow his search in terms of demographics, social scenes, age, religion, ethnicity, education level etc.. then he can just maximize appealing to those women. Like if he wants a highly educated areligious white woman he’ll have to display different traits than if he wants a religious Catholic Latina woman with an associates. These two women probably wouldn’t be into the same guy, if he tries to appeal to too many women he won’t appeal to any so better to be narrow and focused so be can maximize his attraction.

caption291 · 2026-04-21T05:49:11+00:00

Instead of going on a "WE LIVE IN A SOCIETY" rant on people, how about you have some self reflection on what your goals are and which women would be more likely to help you reach those goals.

I mean, humanity has been around for a while, a lot of the modern problems we see are modern and didn't exist(or were far less significant) when we did things differently.

It's pretty easy to see that there was a lot more of the things you claim don't work and a lot less of the things you claim work...

So maybe you need to reflect on wether you are actually trying to help, or just saying whatever you can to try and maintain a situation that benefits you. The latter is much harder to argue for than the former...so I understand it's very tempting to pretend you're doing the former.

Anyways, to give a more direct answer as to why this doesn't work:filtering early works great as a strategy when you have too many options(like women) but not when you're the one consistently being filtered early.

SeemedGood · 2026-04-20T17:02:15+00:00

Very few men have the capacity to choose women. Most men’s choice is limited to accepting whoever chooses them or going along with nothing. Thus, most men have to cast a wide net.

theitchcockblock · 2026-04-20T16:52:27+00:00

Replace women you want with “you can get” and then the question gets way more pertinent

Proudvow · 2026-04-20T20:30:57+00:00

The argument is that women are relatively similar and less varied than men, and are mostly into the same things, and therefore there is no "type" for a lot of guys.

bluestjuice · 2026-04-20T17:25:48+00:00

Teeeechnically getting upset and doing nothing yet complaining about it is easier than making hard decisions and making peace with a reality that you don't like.

Not that it's productive or healthy. But it is easy!

3stun · 2026-04-22T08:58:18+00:00

The strategy of focusing works for cases when you are awash in optionality and need to filter only the most relevant options. However, if you don't have any options - you would be better off casting the wide net and hoping something gets tangled in it. To understand what type of woman he wants - a man needs to "try" different women, without experience it's just theorizing that will be crushed by reality. But most men don't have that experience, so they don't really know what kind of woman and what kind of relationship they want.

Your advice is good for women, though.

Ok_Department_7955 · 2026-04-20T17:00:08+00:00

I just want to sleep with many women I don't care which type

ConstantSample5846 · 2026-04-21T00:01:55+00:00

This is far too complicated a line of thinking for the men you aim this post at to understand.

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meatballs_and_molly · 2026-04-20T17:52:35+00:00

You just broke the system, seedling lol

Wide-Illustrator2906 · 2026-04-20T21:15:27+00:00

This is good advice but not in the way you're applying it. The goal should be to find women who genuinely want to be with you and are attracted to you and not necessarily just the women you want. Basically, find the type of women that generally gonorrhea guys like you and focus on them.

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7186997326 · 2026-04-21T06:15:44+00:00

Yes, it is better to be more selective, for all genders. Candidate pool will be smaller sure, but really it was always small. At least now if you ever do get lucky you might actually be happy with who you end up with.

No-Rough-7390 · 2026-04-21T10:39:09+00:00

What if I told you that the “type” most women gravitate toward being is 100% related to the man most within their gravitational pull at the moment?

For example, almost every woman for point #2 is down for a night of fun and the ole “I swear I never do this” given the right circumstances. I’d actually argue you’re belittling women by insisting that it can’t be the case.

Big-Sir7034 · 2026-04-21T12:52:19+00:00

The advice is great if you want to find people who are compatible.

Not sure how it addresses the we live in a society complaint though, unless you’re claiming that following this advice will allow men to attract as many of the preferred sex as physically attractive men or women can, which isn’t true.

The reality is that, although this will increase the chances of attracting somebody from minuscule to small, it’s easy to say that you should be choosy when the options come to you over and over again.

That complaint itself is accurate. You’re angry that their complaints are useless. Reality is, nobody is gonna change the situation in their favour. Nobody is obliged to. Nobody wants to. They could be doing things that are more productive for their own dating life than complaining.

It’s fine to point out when things are unfair and it’s a good thing. It’s just annoying when that’s all someone does. Just tell them to face the reality that they have to either face an uphill struggle or stay at the bottom of the hill.

meat_p · 2026-04-21T23:41:42+00:00

How about focusing on type of woman you can get, and finding one, instead of hating women you can’t get

S0mnariumx · 2026-04-22T02:40:50+00:00

I want a romantic and alt woman. I don't see a point in seeking out women I won't really like.

Neverending_Danding · 2026-04-22T13:47:45+00:00

This line of thinking could only come from a woman, because you assume the "type of women you (guy) want" will automatically like this guy back. it's the same as with every dating advice from women.

Intelligent-Insight · 2026-04-23T00:21:31+00:00

They are upset they can't succeed with women they want. If they can't succeed with women they want, only focusing on their ideal women makes their chances to succeed lower, not higher. So it sounds like a bad advice. It sounds like - if you can't match with women you like on the apps, don't be upset you can't match at all and start swiping only on women you like as opposed to more women. But of course, that doesn't work. That's why men swipe on a wider range of women, some probably even swipe on everyone and then only really consider them after they already matched.

Feeling_Ad_1034 · 2026-04-20T16:56:05+00:00

My theory on this is that if boys knew how to build their case and whine to adults that they were being shafted, adults would step in and level the playing field for their kids.

Women are the new adults that grown ass boys are whining too.

DriverInitial8305 · 2026-04-20T18:50:21+00:00

See the problem tho is to get their type they’d have to put in work and that affects the core issue for most red pill, blk pill guys. They don’t want to do the work to get what they want

chile-pica · 2026-04-20T17:21:25+00:00

Your post presumes there’s tons of really unique people out there who you can find to match your style.

Truth is if you have a countercultural style then it’s going to be more difficult. Being lgbtq has got to be hard. Furthermore being a woke, enlightened, egalitarian guy is going to be tough because I think culture expects men to be a liiiittle sexist in a benevolent, patronizing way.

AdorableTonight3930 · 2026-04-20T19:57:32+00:00

I agree with you in theory. But the men who complain like that are upset on some level that they have to play those games in order to have a chance with a woman, because they have limited pull (take whatever they can get). Whether it's true or just perception. And some of them seem want a woman who is stereotypically hot but resent the way those women act/what they require. Bc the majority of girls are not gold diggers or "IG thots" but I see dudes project those women's traits onto the entire sex.

LawLegitimate2890 · 2026-04-20T20:38:32+00:00

Exploiting a man out of expensive gifts, free dates or financial support regardless of his income is still gold digging in my eyes. I know you women hate men but Jesus Christ are we gonna change definitions and context to fit your narrative.

Also it’s not men’s job to do anything. Men are not obligated to provide for anything we live in a free world sorry. You sound really demanding with this whole providing stuff.

Fast-Key8274 · 2026-04-20T16:46:53+00:00

You know what’s crazy all we are asking from women is don’t be whore right, close your legs and cook us a meal and clean the house. The thing is that woman doesn’t exist in the west and so it’s not complaining, it’s trying make women understand that being a virgin and taking care of your husband is the holy thing to do. It’s not me shooting my shot and missing, it’s about there being no rim.

Title	It would be easier to focus on the type of women you want rather than getting upset you cant succeed with most women.
Author	LillthOfBabylon
Upvotes	116
Comments	414
Date	April 20, 2026 4:37 PM UTC (3 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1squmer/it_would_be_easier_to_focus_on_the_type_of_women/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/it-would-be-easier-to-focus-on-the-type-of-women.1578436 https://theredarchive.com/post/1578436

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