Would you date a bisexual?

Environmental_Day558 · 2023-10-04T00:02:44+00:00

I imagine the majority of women on reddit would say yes because this platform is generally more progressive, but what you're saying is common. I have a friend that's bi and she told me she would never date a bi guy. I used to date a girl who was afraid I was "downlow" and tried to get me to "tell the truth", despite me never being with a man ever. The reasons were primarily being afraid of HIV and other STDs. I'm currently with a woman that is bi and doesn't mind. But from my experience bi men are generally not preferred.

fakingandnotmakingit · 2023-10-04T01:07:44+00:00

I have and it was fine. Broke up eventually due to lifestyle incompatibility (in terms of wanting to settle down etc)

I got a lot of biphobic statements from people though. Like if I was okay that he had slept with other men (why wouldn't I be?) and whether it would make a difference if he was top or bottom or vers? (no?)

I do think that there is some residual homophobia of not like a less dominant guy. There are also many girls who might be insecure about other women and now it's double fold because they get to be insecure about men too

I'm not either of these so didn't care.

jay10033 · 2023-10-03T23:20:20+00:00

"Rules for thee, not for me". This is the ethos of many women. The fact that bi women would reject bi men shows the latent homophobia that exists among women but it's passed over because homophobia is a "toxic masculinity" thing, if you hear them tell it.

pandenubes · 2023-10-04T00:56:00+00:00

My guess is it gives women this unavoidable feminine vibe, which may bother them depending on their upbringing.

I read another post the other day, where certain women consider men who use turn signals when driving feminine, and therefore undateable. Maybe what intrigues most women in men is their “wild and uncontrollably masculine nature.” Who knows!

To summarize, maybe women tend to overly fetishize masculinity as much as men do femininity. Perhaps us guys are in the other side now? Being absurdly fetishized to a ridiculous and inhumane degree, much like how we’ve done to women all these years?

Specialist-Action-33 · 2023-10-04T02:00:12+00:00

Even though bisexuality exists among men and women, what I've seen so far is that its only accepted when women are bi (along with all the other sexualities). When it comes to men, we are only seen as either gay or straight. Thats a hardcore double standard that I can't even comprehend.

Song_of_Pain · 2023-10-03T23:48:51+00:00

Biphobic women invented the idea of "pansexual" to avoid being grouped in with the bi guys they think are icky.

AngeCruelle · 2023-10-04T00:53:16+00:00

Yes. According to my faith, there is more to human beings than our raw sexual inclinations.

I would prefer to marry a virgin. If I ultimately marry a non-virgin, there's a possibility that both women and men would be included in his sexual history. It doesn't make much of a difference to me.

Hysterical__Paroxysm · 2023-10-04T02:29:43+00:00

I wouldn't see a problem with it at all.

macone235 · 2023-10-03T23:33:06+00:00

There's this general idea online that women aren't attracted to bi men and I have run into women being totally against it, numerous times. Even very progressive women, in one case even a bi woman rejected me because I'm bi.

It's not a general idea, it's statistical fact. Women don't like feminine men, and being bi is considered feminine to them.

SabineLavine · 2023-10-04T10:34:20+00:00

No, I wouldn't.

wheartv · 2023-10-03T23:57:58+00:00

Nope

dogsmoking · 2023-10-03T23:50:09+00:00

I would. I'm bisexual too. Provided you're loyal and have integrity. It would even be something fun to bond over.

DerayRevan · 2023-10-03T23:05:15+00:00

Nope, sorry not sorry

l00ks-p1lled · 2023-10-03T23:21:37+00:00

Bi guys are usually seen by women as weak and feminine men and this is an ick for them.

I usually don't agree with the extremely masculine alpha model that the redpill describes, but I gotta agree that most women are definitely not attracted to weakness and femininity in men

NothingOrAllLife · 2023-10-03T23:10:55+00:00

Would depend on if they regularly wanted anal performed on them or not. I’m not that kind of giving type. But being bi doesn’t bother me.

howdoiw0rkthisthing · 2023-10-04T02:17:48+00:00

I married one

kalashhhhhhhh · 2023-10-04T11:14:42+00:00

Yes, unless there was some other dealbreaker (very promiscuos, stds, unfaithful)- regardless of his orientation.

Unfortunately, I don't live in the most progressive country so I'd also wonder if he's actually gay.

tinasnow-poty · 2023-10-04T15:13:51+00:00

No. I get the same icky feeling men get when they learn a woman is promiscuous. I heard an idea that dick is a polluting agent which makes sense I guess. More specifically I’m not into effeminate men and having sex with a man is effeminate to me even though it’s only two men involved. Weird but it is what it is

permiecandy · 2023-10-04T09:50:44+00:00

No. If I answered honestly I'd get down voted so hard. So, that's all you're getting for an answer.

h1shman · 2023-10-03T23:16:15+00:00

Women can’t love men they don’t respect and many if not most women can’t respect a man after imagining him being taken by another man. This might change as stigmas change.

The same way I am 100% for equal rights and respect for same sex couples and can have a friendly conversation with gay men at clubs, but at the end of the day I do feel negatively towards men who sleep with other men.

saraimarsena · 2023-10-03T23:59:43+00:00

my boyfriend is bi.

i had previously been against dating bi men because i had incorrectly assumed that all/most bi men were feminine leaning. obviously i was wrong.

i prefer strong and masculine men, he fits my preference, his sexuality has no bearing on our relationship.

xItaliax · 2023-10-04T00:19:40+00:00

Digital-Bionics · 2023-10-04T01:06:31+00:00

No but that's because that is a preference of mine, been there done that, so I kno for sure that I only like women who love men exclusively.

januaryphilosopher · 2023-10-04T06:42:39+00:00

I prefer other bisexuals. Straight men generally see it as worse than neutral, lesbians have a usually better opinion but it's still more likely to be bad than good. It's easier to have this thing in common to get past misconceptions and they're less likely to be into gender roles stuff.

arabiandoll · 2023-10-04T13:11:56+00:00

I am immediately turned off. I like men very masculine and only attracted to women. The fact that he likes men is just soooo unattractive on a very instinctual level.

Obviously I don’t care if someone is bi I just personally can never be attracted to that. It’s annoying that some people are calling that homophobia like straight people can’t have preferences that they can’t control.

Sadsad0088 · 2023-10-04T14:33:42+00:00

Nope, the thought of my man being attracted to guys is a huge turnoff. About it being a plus for women I wouldn’t know; I’m bisexual and my husband says he has 2 sexes to be jealous of (I’ve been in relationships with women)

sempiternaldaydreams · 2023-10-05T00:21:36+00:00

I personally would not

HighestTierMaslow · 2023-10-05T02:34:57+00:00

No I wouldn't romantically. I have had several bisexual men friends, none could be tamed and they all struggled with cheating. I doubt a bisexual man would ever be interested in me so it's nit a big deal anyway

Lv99_Slacker · 2023-10-05T11:10:25+00:00

Lesbian chiming. Cliche and not sorry about it, but, while you can't control who you fall for, I have no interest in dating a bisexual woman. Yes, it's fear of not being enough. I've seen a stat where most bi women end up marrying men by a large margin.

Safinated · 2023-10-03T23:51:05+00:00

Both bi guys I dated cheated on me with men. Every gay man I asked has a non monogamous relationship, even the married ones

Technically I would date a bi guy —— but only if I had no other options. And I would expect them to cheat on me, with men

thetruthishere_ · 2023-10-04T01:47:36+00:00

There is a stigma about it for sure. Im ok with it. Im a part time escort so Im more open over others. I find way too many so judgey and uptight about sex.(in the US anyways)

Like those that think Im gross, etc because I have sex for money and have some 'lifestyle' making so many assumptions when I live like anyone else. I mow my lawn, garden, etc, etc. If you catch my drift.

I think many fear stds and the man wont be totally satisfied because he swings both ways.

Reality, bi men Can be more prone to STDs though so I can understand Some of the fear.

GadgitPlease · 2023-10-04T12:37:57+00:00

I declined another date with a guy who told me he was bi after he thought I was going to accepting because my brother is gay. I also had a negative experience with a guy my brother was dating prior who had hit on me while we were on a double date with my boyfriend at the time. And my bf was telling me he wasn't gay but I swore he way. Turns out, bi.

Truth is, I find it to be sexually unappealing. The idea of him sucking a dick or on all fours like me is so feminine that I couldn't take him seriously in bed anymore. But we could be friends.

And that's just me being honest. They're still good people, just I can't be intimate.

Opening_Tell9388 · 2023-10-03T23:02:30+00:00

I always found dating bi women to be fun. Checking out women together, group sex, seeing the woman on woman romance dynamic.

lostacoshermanos · 2023-10-04T00:08:25+00:00

Yes but only because I’m poly. If I was monogamous never in a billion years.

RonMexico432 · 2023-10-04T02:07:41+00:00

Pornstar, August Ames, hung herself after being bullied online for not wanting to work with a guy that did both gay and straight porn. Gay porn doesn't rigorously test actors for STDs the way straight porn does. She didn't want to risk it. People started calling her homophobic.

Mobrowncheeks · 2023-10-03T23:05:24+00:00

Why didn’t you date a man? I’m sure bi men are less homophobic .

Anyway I’m pretty sure I’ve mostly only dated bisexual women really

Motherofvampires · 2023-10-03T23:07:01+00:00

I have done. It wasn't a problem.

MiddleZealousideal89 · 2023-10-03T23:09:26+00:00

I have. No issue with it.

GridReXX · 2023-10-03T23:23:18+00:00

As a woman who has been in an LTR with a man before and a woman before, my questions to you are this:

1) Will you feel the need to act on your attraction to men? 2) How would you feel if some women said it’s the mental image she has of you making out and being generally sexually sensual with a man, that sexually turns her off? It doesn’t turn her off from you as a person, but it takes her out of wanting to be fucked by you? It’s not a constant thing for her. But if she overly thinks of it, it takes her out of lusting for you.

InjectAdrenochrome · 2023-10-03T23:32:11+00:00

Yes next question

I_can_get_loud_too · 2023-10-04T07:54:01+00:00

Probably gonna get downvoted for being honest but whatever.

If a guy is physically attractive enough and tall enough (my two big things that I really look for, as opposed to money or income as this sub wrongly assumes) then any additional traits I’ll probably have a skewed opinion either positive or negative based on how tall and physically attractive the guy is. So if a guy is over 6’ and has a nice body and a good head of hair and I’m really into him, and he says he’s bisexual, my brain will be like, wow that’s so cool and progressive!

Versus if there’s a guy I’m on the fence about with attraction (usually because he’s not tall enough unfortunately, sad but true that’s the reason I don’t feel attracted to most guys) then when he tells me he’s bisexual, my brain will just invent negative connotations around that - when the real deep down reason for me is most likely his height / body type / maybe face / hair / voice. The actual personality traits are kinda neutral really for me because attraction still ends up being the number one thing for a romantic relationship, for me anyway and I think for many other people.

TLDR: If a guy is tall enough, most women will find any reason to like whatever traits he has, if he’s too short, your brain tricks you into thinking his personality is why he’s not attractive, because as a woman in America I’m just so tired of being bullied for my preference for tall men, so my brain figures out ways around that to reject people for other reasons rather than height, since men get so butt hurt about it.

Barneysparky · 2023-10-03T23:37:07+00:00

I personally thought a bi man would be ideal, as I'm.not a huge fan of PIV and I kinda think.of bi guys like a lot of straight guys fantasize about bi gals.

But I can see why women wouldn't be ok with it that wanted a monogymous relationship. However a monogymous guy (had serial.relationships not hookups) wouldn't give a red flag to progressive women.

Trump supporting women? Not a chance, as you are a groomer. :)

SameNotice4306 · 2023-10-04T00:25:20+00:00

I would not. It’s the biggest ick ever for me. I like my man to embody a specific type of masculinity that can only be embodied by a heterosexual man.

naughtychick9999 · 2023-10-04T00:43:56+00:00

No. Turn off. I can't say exactly why but it just is.

PM_ME_ZED_BARA · 2023-10-04T02:02:04+00:00

Yes, I would. I am gay and my boyfriend is bi.

Uglypostwall · 2023-10-04T07:00:44+00:00

I will not date bisexual man because I don't want to.Why should I be forced to date bisexual man as straight woman?

Prior-Specialist-988 · 2023-10-03T22:57:18+00:00

if a girl yes

Ainsleygz · 2023-10-03T23:53:00+00:00

Unf yesss

operation-spot · 2023-10-04T00:09:54+00:00

Yes I would date a bisexual man.

jpla86 · 2023-10-04T00:50:33+00:00

Most bisexual women don't like men and mostly prefer women so no.

uwuskincare · 2023-10-04T02:00:11+00:00

I'm a bi woman and I would date a bi man but my concerns would be

Is he used to having casual sex with men? It's a lot easier to find hookups with men than women... so there are more opportunities to cheat. Like most straight dudes download tinder and get no action even if they want to cheat (unless he's pretty hot). A bi dude doesn't have to be hot to get action on grindr. Also hookups are more lowkey on grindr than tinder... so it's probably easier to hide.
Will he maintain attraction to me, (am I enough)? I've been on bi subreddits a lot and it's crazy how often people talk about craving the gender they aren't in a monogamous relationship with... so that is concerning. Also the whole bi cycle concept.

Dating a straight guy just leaves a bit less room for worry?

Esterwinde · 2023-10-04T12:13:03+00:00

I would date a bi woman.

p_taradactyl · 2023-10-04T17:58:25+00:00

Currently in a relationship with a bi guy, so yes. (S)he is also trans. Mostly into women. I’ve always thought of everyone as just people so if I like someone, I don’t care what gender or sexuality they are, though I’d only ever dated hetero men previously. We’re about the same size so we share clothes & play dress-up & it’s awesome.

2023-10-03T23:44:48+00:00

How does a woman being bi count as a plus? She doesn’t know if she wants dick or pussy, I can only imagine how long it’ll take to decide on something as simple as dinner.

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mrmudkip11 · 2023-10-03T23:05:53+00:00

Yeah of course, I only seem to date bi women after all lmao. Only straight girl I’ve ever dated was by far my worst relationship

2023-10-03T23:20:39+00:00

Honestly, i come from a more conservative culture & i know even a lot of my friends would be judgemental of it. However, personally i wouldn’t care. I also think it’s because i’ve made queer friends in the past few years so i see things differently now. Before that i would say i had that mentality you speak of because that’s how everyone around me was thinking.

Cat_Lover259 · 2023-10-03T23:44:06+00:00

How would being a bi woman be a plus…?

MistyMaisel · 2023-10-04T00:16:31+00:00

I have once, I wouldn't now.

I know this isn't true of all folks, but I often feel like bisexual is just a step in the journey to gay and also that a lot of lgbt+ people are too...like internally chaotic and unsure of who they are and messy. And that's just not what I wanna deal with ever again. I also don't wanna deal with the more loose relationship with sex they tend to have or the desire to explore more or any of that shit.

And, as a final thing, if he'd had sex with other dudes, I just feel like I'd find that off putting in the dude I'm having sex with.

Friedrich_Friedson · 2023-10-04T00:18:52+00:00

I've dated a bisexual. Probably one of the best women I've met fr

aryamagetro · 2023-10-04T00:20:46+00:00

yeah as long as he's responsible with his sexual health, like uses condoms, gets STD testing done regularly, and is on PrEP, if needed.

Infammo · 2023-10-04T00:37:25+00:00

I would casually date a bisexual woman but I'd never marry one. Despite what they say bi chicks do not do long term monogamy.

SoulBadguy0408 · 2023-10-04T01:02:29+00:00

I'm not against dating bisexuals

Novadina · 2023-10-04T01:25:17+00:00

Yes and I have.

Care_Bear_Blair · 2023-10-04T01:25:50+00:00

The issue with dating anyone who’s bisexual for me; is that because our society is strongly heteronormative, a bi person will generally choose the opposite sex over the same sex. Why would a gay individual want to be second choice?

DivineDaedra · 2023-10-04T01:47:53+00:00

Yeah I definitely would. I did, more than once—though only one was AMAB.

I definitely don’t understand people who are grossed out by it but are fine with pegging or anal sex. Hell, I don’t like either of those and it doesn’t really matter unless a partner expects one from me.

JumboJetz · 2023-10-04T02:56:52+00:00

I guess women think that men are so awesome that if inclined, a man would rather be with another man than her?

Greenghoul07 · 2023-10-04T02:59:37+00:00

I think it might be that some women aren’t comfortable with an*l play and with bi men- it’s almost given they like butt stuff. To each their own, but I’m happy with my bi boyfriend. and the butt stuff.

cassowaryy · 2023-10-04T04:08:20+00:00

So what? Some women just don’t want to date a guy that’s had dicks inside him just like some men don’t want to date women that have dicks on them. It’s really just a matter of preference and it’s futile trying to explain that kind of stuff. If there is a biological or evolutionary reason for such behavior, knowing it will probably just make you less happy. So stop seeking approval and be happy you found someone who likes you for you

dishonouronmycow · 2023-10-04T04:13:11+00:00

Yes I would, it doesn’t matter to me if he’s attracted to men in the same way it doesn’t matter if he’s attracted to other women, as long as we’re in a committed and loving relationship

MrBrittle · 2023-10-04T04:16:11+00:00

My girlfriend is bisexual, I don't see any problems with that, it's not something you can control.

Personally, I would prefer it not to be the case, as I fetishize ffm, but I shouldn't.

Doghair_Shark · 2023-10-04T05:29:17+00:00

I would not because I would not agree with their core values.

Do_U_Scratch · 2023-10-04T06:35:03+00:00

I am. So is my girlfriend.

animehents · 2023-10-04T07:15:31+00:00

I wouldn't date a bi woman as a straight man myself

sweetbrown89 · 2023-10-04T07:23:03+00:00

Absolutely would date bi men, and I have — as long as he’s a top

I’m not attracted to women, so I wouldn’t date a bi woman

Maelas84 · 2023-10-04T07:49:23+00:00

Ive experimented, but didnt stick with it.

I personally wouldnt date a bi woman, but thats just my opinion. The why is, that I wouldnt want to invest a good chunk of my life with someone, just for her to get confused or change her mind halfway through our marriage about what she is attracted to. I understand this can happen to anyone, but I just feel that it would be more prevalent in people who are Bi.

tawny-she-wolf · 2023-10-04T09:43:03+00:00

Being bi would be irrelevant to me, all that matters is how compatible we are and how we treat eachother

NSGameDeveloper · 2023-10-04T11:27:14+00:00

If you are a bi man don’t say it. You just lose points and women regard you as a worse potential partner, or they even filter you off.

bluestjuice · 2023-10-04T16:01:31+00:00

I’m attracted to bi men. I would definitely date one. (I am dating one.) I’m also very LGBTQ+-friendly and queer myself.

I have definitely had the pang of ‘what if they’re not as into me as they are other people?! what if they would rather be with other people?! what if I’m not enough!!?!?’ insecurities. I recall one particular long dark teatime of the soul on this topic with my current partner about a year into our relationship. I’m sure there are some people who don’t experience that but I know it’s extremely normal to experience. Like other insecurities, I have to work it out (with my partners, by myself) on an ongoing basis.

I can’t speak for people who have deepset inclinations against dating bi men, to say whether that insecurity is the main driver of that or some other factor. But I figured I could share my perspective (which surprised me somewhat), for what it’s worth.

LanaPiaf · 2023-10-04T17:55:06+00:00

Also bi men and women are fine with me. Someone who is secure with their sexuality is a green flag

NoMoreWares · 2023-10-05T14:35:29+00:00

I’ve dated a bisexual man before; and men who have a history of experimenting.

harmonica2 · 2023-10-05T14:52:57+00:00

To the OP as far as a woman getting weird compliments that she's with a bi man how do pull around her know he's by unless she tells everyone?

Title	Would you date a bisexual?
Author	onirroc
Upvotes	40
Comments	280
Date	October 3, 2023 10:54 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/16z6c3c/would_you_date_a_bisexual/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/would-you-date-a-bisexual.1233949 https://theredarchive.com/post/1233949

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