Every LVM's apology ever, to a t. Bonus points: doesn't include an actual apology :)

denimbastard · 2021-11-05T15:57:56+00:00

This is almost exactly the same as a voice note that I still have from my ex that said "you're an amazing person, we've had a amazing time together, nothing I ever do or say can change that, its been amazing. Thanks for sending my stuff...did you include the X box?" (That I paid for). It helped so much, we all just spent the night cackling at it.

Edit: I just found the recording and I desperately want to share it with you all. We need an FDS WhatsApp or something.

baileyj93 · 2021-11-05T12:13:16+00:00

Love this.

I used to get texts like this from a guy and he'd say 'don't hate me', 'why do you hate me?' Etc. He didn't like it when I said 'I don't hate you, I don't care about you'. They're self indulgent and can't stand the idea of not being relevant to your life.

throwawaychilipaste9 · 2021-11-05T11:36:08+00:00

The audacity ! Ive slept with your roommate but I’m going through a lot hahahaha

renthestimpy · 2021-11-05T12:09:00+00:00

Take this one-woman standing ovation, please!!! The violin, the dramatic reading of the shit apology (which… where was the apology fr??), the pitch-perfect harmony at the end? This is GOLD! 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾

electroloop · 2021-11-05T11:25:29+00:00

I spat out my coffee. I LOVE THIS.

Some scrote reported this video as sexual content about minors? Get bent.

KindredMaximus · 2021-11-05T11:56:39+00:00

Goddamn - I love this younger generation of women.

Specific-Composer300 · 2021-11-05T12:24:22+00:00

Lindsey Stirling is the one on the violin for those wondering 😊

waddamelone · 2021-11-05T15:27:31+00:00

LMAOOO “did you change the netflix password?”.

This reminds me of those videos that someone used to post of these 3 girls on tiktok. Who did a whole play about LVM. Does anybody remember their tiktok?

WestAtmosphere · 2021-11-05T15:40:30+00:00

I swear most men are narcissistic ... they cannot take accountability for anything lmao.

Phoenix__Rising2018 · 2021-11-05T14:10:03+00:00

"you were busy so I had to fuck somebody else"

He would have better luck just pretending he can't tell the difference between you and anybody else because he's so stupid.

ExistentialJelly · 2021-11-05T17:19:55+00:00

I tell women this all the time... scummy guys aren't original. They all show the same behaviour, use the same tactics, and attempt the same nonsense. They just do them at different speeds.

It's like there is a dang manual.

SakuraGirl88 · 2021-11-05T14:09:40+00:00

That was so funny. That last line "did you change the Netflix password?" 😂. I've texts AND voice-mails like this ex "I'm sorry for not considering your feelings and only thinking with my d#$% woe is me". Nah, you have two heads and neither of them function properly.

coolestgirlyoueverme · 2021-11-05T17:45:05+00:00

"what am I supposed to tell my family" lmfao that's not her problem. This is exactly the bs where men expect women to cover for their reputation.

SearchLightsInc · 2021-11-05T12:46:47+00:00

This has to become a thing.

Edit: did she change the Netflix password!?

Joan_of_Spark · 2021-11-05T17:16:11+00:00

It's really telling, the line "what do I tell my family" - like, it's obvious this guy has the little kid mentality where he doesn't care if what he did was wrong, he cares about the consequences (mommy finding out and yelling at him, missing out on all of his favorite shows). The emojis were SO over the top and manipulative.

East-Willingness513 · 2021-11-05T11:40:44+00:00

Lyk dis if it made u cry 😢

CoconutJasmineBombe · 2021-11-05T15:36:58+00:00

That very last bit! The violin made me crack up! So perfect! 😂

poison_snacc · 2021-11-05T15:24:25+00:00

If this is real, then this isn’t just horrible for OP— I mean, what an insult to Emily! The way he used the word “love” makes me think that he promised Emily a relationship & the whole 9 yards as soon as he was free from the confines of his girlfriend.

The typical LVM who cheats will do pretty much anything to get laid, and that includes future faking in order to convince each woman that she isn’t about to become a homewrecker. Somehow society frowns less on a male “finding love” outside of a relationship than on the same kind of guy having multiple fleeting hookups. It’s a crock of shit, but hey… society.

Some of these guys go so far down the rabbit hole of lies, that they can even make themselves believe— if momentarily— that they are indeed going to have a legit relationship with the new woman. Believing something yourself allows you to keep a straight face when lying so it’s understandable that even smart women can fall prey to that particular kind of manipulation.

The manipulation is such that the “other women” are often shocked when the novelty of illicit sex wears off for the guy— even if he ends up being dumped by his GF— and he just fucks off to be with yet another person. It’s absolutely humiliating to find out the person you’ve been seeing already has a partner, so I imagine it’s even worse when you find out he played you badly enough to make you help him cheat!

driftinglochawe · 2021-11-05T11:40:00+00:00

This is fine art!

DanceWithPandas · 2021-11-05T14:01:05+00:00

Why am I supposed to change my decision,
When you cheated by your own volition?
You claim it's me that you were missing,
But that wasn't me that you were kissing.
Tell your family you caused this division,
And watch your own damn television.

ilovegunter · 2021-11-05T12:48:48+00:00

somebody call nasa my sides are in orbit lmaoo

Technusgirl · 2021-11-05T14:16:06+00:00

Omg he cheated on her and is trying to play victim with a pity party as well as trying to gaslight her, probably a narcissist. I think what she did is hilarious too, lol. We should be doing this too when guys pull shit like this on us.

WorkaholicParty · 2021-11-05T17:22:26+00:00

I agree with all the comments so I'll point out what other things stood out.

She's so beautiful I can't take my eyes off her. I'm developing a crush.
Dude got fired and is failing all of his classes? Eww, gross. He probably deeply resents her and that's partly why he cheated. He's mooching off of her (netflix password) and really misses all the ways she made his life better (the whiny desperation, fear of telling his family who will probably have to pick up some of the" slack). Disgusting, she's convenient to him, he's a loser who envies her.

Of course, failing classes or having a hard time doesn't make someone a bad person or a failure but there are so many clues here that indicate that this guy is useless trash.

Edit: this guy really doesn't even deserve the sad violin treatment.

hazzard4 · 2021-11-05T11:58:22+00:00

That’s Lindsey Stirling!!!! :D

wateryyvibes · 2021-11-05T16:23:55+00:00

Omg ahaha. I love them. The expressions on the violin lady is amazing haha.

iloveyoubabi · 2021-11-05T16:32:47+00:00

Omg I could not stop laughing!!! This is absolute GOLD. I aspire to have friends like this and to be as funny as this woman. Amazing!!!

Lady_Schmoobleydong · 2021-11-05T14:49:59+00:00

I’m sorry for “what happened” (what I did). I’m going through a hard time, and you’re making it harder by being busy and this is basically your fault… Come on, man!

Senior_Raise180 · 2021-11-05T17:31:27+00:00

"did you change the Netflix password"

God this is an entire art piece by itself, wonderful work ladies

Cacapoopoopipishire2 · 2021-11-05T12:25:54+00:00

Bravo!! Encore encore! 10/10 entertainment, 0/10 quality apology!

BasketLow8411 · 2021-11-05T19:45:19+00:00

If you have to say “I’m sorry, ok?!?” you are 100% not sorry.

SilentSleepingKitty · 2021-11-05T13:06:04+00:00

Is that Lindsey Stirling? I haven’t looked her up in years 😩

coolestgirlyoueverme · 2021-11-05T15:37:59+00:00

So talented!

cannabis_ferox · 2021-11-05T15:48:45+00:00

This is just… all around beautiful. Love it.

stackofwits · 2021-11-05T16:54:01+00:00

This is a work of art. A masterpiece.

its_me_phosphene · 2021-11-06T00:54:10+00:00

So many of the comments in the other thread say the message is fake. Like, no bro, you guys are really this fucking crazy

The_Cat_Empress · 2021-11-05T14:30:13+00:00

This is some entertaining s**t. I’m happy she can move on and laugh about this loser. And seriously!!! “I’m going through sO mUcH you’ve been So bUsY” That 🙄 emoji really takes the cake. What a scrote!!!

sacchilax · 2021-11-05T18:29:23+00:00

THIS WAS THE LAUGH I NEEDED THIS WEEK!

hikurangi2019 · 2021-11-05T13:08:45+00:00

Lol love the theatrics.

Jaelismyhomegirl · 2021-11-05T18:03:13+00:00

That ending tho 🤣

ThrowRA_08t · 2021-11-05T11:53:54+00:00

Love this! She’s great

lostmillenia · 2021-11-05T13:57:57+00:00

Lindsey Stirling tip: wait till after her Xmas show is done if you are gunna go see her if you are a fan of her dubstep stuff.

midgetsinheaven · 2021-11-05T13:26:32+00:00

I could listen to this all day long!

Jazzycullen · 2021-11-05T17:07:22+00:00

The violinist looks like lindsay sterling, I think her name is????

HottPinkSlug · 2021-11-06T00:29:01+00:00

When she turned her phone around and it was a giant block of text, I knew it was going to be amazing.

Also Lindsey Sterling, holy shit, how?!

Waste-Win · 2021-11-06T00:58:45+00:00

And they say "women aren't funny". This is hilarious.

mmesuggia · 2021-11-05T11:44:30+00:00

Genius

extragouda · 2021-11-05T13:58:50+00:00

Wow. The audacity of that guy.

Paris_dans_mes_reves · 2021-11-05T15:38:30+00:00

I love how he highlights all his deficiencies as if that’s supposed to improve the situation. Oh, you’re failing all your classes AND don’t have a job?? Wow!! I think I will take you back after all!!

JessyJK · 2021-11-05T13:37:30+00:00

This was the funniest thing ever! Just because it's true.

shockingupdate · 2021-11-05T15:08:26+00:00

that harmony at the end? [chef’s kiss] 😂😂😂

ABQ_COgirl · 2021-11-05T15:19:48+00:00

I love this!!! So hilarious. Classic user cheater NVM.

chocolat-viennois · 2021-11-05T13:27:03+00:00

This is the best thing I've seen in months
I would pay to watch a 4 hour musical performance with men's bullshit apologies and women singing and playing instruments!!

maskwearingbitch2020 · 2021-11-06T01:10:23+00:00

This is BEAUTIFUL!!! Ladies you NAILED it!

sleepypanda_924 · 2021-11-05T14:17:16+00:00

HAHAH! Trash. My favorite apology is one that starts with “I’m sorry, but…” sarcasm. How hard is it to take responsibility? People are so afraid of being wrong.. we’re all human! Just admit when you fucked up and then we can move on!

pompommom31 · 2021-11-07T04:29:31+00:00

Is that Lindsey Stirling??!! Holy crap she’s one of us! Love her!!

GaD99 · 2021-11-05T15:27:38+00:00

My ex fiancé cheated by fishing for compliments on Tinder with a fake name. He actually gave me a genuine apology, paid me back for wedding expenses, and understood why I’d call it off. I wish I got ingenuity like this. It would’ve been (emotionally) easier to leave

Ratephant · 2021-11-05T16:53:02+00:00

LMAO thats just so great! the ending killed me

wHAtisLife59 · 2021-11-05T17:36:34+00:00

This is golden. I feel great about this women and her friend, they’re going to great places. So creative. Love it!!

xfelugirlx · 2021-11-05T18:54:08+00:00

I love her is always the same thing or if u ask why, “i don’t know it’s just to do something” LOL

FrowzyCosmogyral · 2021-11-05T23:22:28+00:00

So brilliant!

aluriaphin · 2021-11-06T01:35:23+00:00

The ending took me to out 🤣🤣🤣 God I hope she sent this to him too

Equal-Ear2312 · 2021-11-06T10:23:53+00:00

everything, to a T, including the netflix password. and the belated: did you also change the locks?

meanemad · 2021-11-06T12:00:56+00:00

these pair of QUEENS 😁😁😁😁 so young and so clever at the same time 😂❤

Bella_Keira23 · 2021-11-06T13:19:12+00:00

This is gold 😂 I love when men act as if their excuse for cheating is always because they’re having a “hard time” dealing with life for them Sure, scrote. Cheating always makes life easier! Didn’t you get the memo?

Also.. If I had a violin for every time my LVX text me with some sort of “apology” (that of course never included an actual apology) the cords would’ve busted

Emergency-Feed8216 · 2021-11-06T18:22:43+00:00

Truth is funny. I think that old bullshit about women not being funny was because FDS style thinking/humor were so universally verbotten that women couldn't even think the thoughts much less say the words even as recently as a decade or 15 years ago. Now it seems like that genie is never going back in the bottle. It's almost mainstream.

SarahMinette · 2021-11-05T16:07:53+00:00

Love everything about this!!!

maeta123 · 2021-11-05T16:29:21+00:00

The end is what gets me!

Denimiaa · 2021-11-06T04:10:04+00:00

HaHaHa, I had to go and get my head phones on and listen to this after I read it. Well done.

Eli1984 · 2021-11-07T13:21:44+00:00

OMG, I had to laugh out loudly, that was awesome! Thanks oft sharing😂😂😂

Ok-Appearance5982 · 2021-11-14T12:38:37+00:00

😂😂😂

Left-Requirement9267 · 2022-06-29T22:31:02+00:00

How cute are these two!

thecrazywitch31 · 2021-11-07T15:11:03+00:00

This was so funny 😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣🤣

justic3bon3r · 2021-11-24T08:51:42+00:00

u/SaveVideo

Title	Every LVM's apology ever, to a t. Bonus points: doesn't include an actual apology :)
Author	Eqvvi
Upvotes	3564
Comments	126
Date	November 5, 2021 11:21 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/qn8ymy/every_lvms_apology_ever_to_a_t_bonus_points/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/every-lvms-apology-ever-to-a-t-bonus-points-doesnt.1085778 https://theredarchive.com/post/1085778

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