Women who HAVE in fact dated or married a Red Pill Man, good experience/relationship or negative?

SladeWilsonXL9 · 2022-01-12T13:21:56+00:00

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BrownEyedGringa · 2022-01-12T20:01:28+00:00

I dated someone I think might have been Red Pilled. He was quite handsome actually, but short (my type lol). I only mention it because I think there may have been some insecurity there that led him to become Red Pilled.

He was the first guy I dated who actually was actively trying to evaluate me on a date. I thought it was cool to be honest. I've read a lot of Red Pill stuff and also Mark Manson's Models, which specifically goes into this idea of seeing if you even like the woman rather than get worried whether she likes you or not. So I knew what he was trying to do. I'm a pretty laidback person though so I just went with it. He also said he was ONLY looking for something serious and wouldn't tolerate something casual for long, so I assumed we were on the same page.

He did a lot of the things perfectly. Said (mostly) the right things, planned out all the dates, adequate text messaging, etc.

However, he would neg me sometimes. He said "I think you're pretty for an Indian girl" and "I'm usually into white women," and bizarre statements like "women peak at 21 and men peak at 32" and "You lack the conviction" when I made a joke about wanting to be a cult leader someday.

Anyway... What made me ultimately end things with him was his insistence that I have sex with him before we were monogamous. I told him I only ever had monogamous sex and that too, not that many times, so I was looking for someone who I knew cared for me and would stick around.

Nope. He went on and on about how important sexual compatibility is to him, completely ignoring my needs. When I asked him how long of casually seeing each other would he possibly make a decision to be exclusive he said 5-6 months. Cool. So you tryna spin plates. Real power move there. I found it absolutely unacceptable, so I left that night.

What still boggles my mind is that he wasn't even close to the hottest guy I dated or had sex with. Yet the others were totally okay with monogamy. I suspect he had a need for the upper hand and power in a relationship, which goes hand in hand with red pill ideology.

_HEDONISM_BOT · 2022-01-12T19:29:02+00:00

My ex was military and red pilled. It was the most toxic, abusive relationship I’ve ever had.

It was the relationship that sent me down the rabbit hole of finding out what the redpill was, with the sole purpose of learning everything about it so I can block the men who have redpilled beliefs, behaviors, ideals, values, etc.

I’ve had a more peaceful and joyful dating life since I learned how to avoid redpilled men.

Barneysparky · 2022-01-12T13:04:18+00:00

You can see the effects the red pill has on relationships by spending time reading the achieves on marriedredpill.

After taking the pills men's relationship problems are solved. No relationship=no problem.

Owaysnew · 2022-01-12T22:17:55+00:00

My husband claims he is red pill, i actually think he’s more purple pill. If we take the labels off, our marriage is great! We have our roles, know what those roles are, but still help each other when the other is unable. If I’m too tired, he puts the kid to bed and does night time routine. When he was sick with pneumonia, I stepped up and ran his business. I think we have great communication and a good relationship. I’m happy. There are issues but every relationship has them and I don’t think they are red pill generated.

FabulousFuchsbau · 2022-01-12T22:57:17+00:00

Never “dated” but got set up on dates with some Red Pillers.

I stopped letting people set me up on dates.

Throwaway18077 · 2022-01-12T16:27:01+00:00

[since there’s been some misunderstanding of my comment I’ll make it more clear: I’m open to dating a man that makes less money than me but I’m not open to dating a man that makes less than me but still demands to appear as the one in power, and this is why I have resented redpilled men that I’ve dated.]

I’ve only dated red pilled men and I have a close relationship with my father. The problem is that I end up resenting these men because they act like they’re in charge when I make more money than them and often pay for things for the two of us. It starts to feel like we should just swap roles altogether and I resent my exes for demanding they be the one wearing the pants when realistically, money talks louder than they do.

I actually think my close relationship with my father is what caused this mindset. He’s raised me like I am his son rather than his daughter, and always taught me that I need to watch my own ass, never share my full income with my future husband, and he’s raised me to look down on men in some sense.

His mother (my grandmother) was the breadwinner, and while my grandparents are still married, I think my father learned that behind the curtain of a red pilled relationship, the woman often holds the true power, and he’s passed this down to me.

ddouchecanoe · 2022-01-12T16:55:20+00:00

You should go peruse r/RedPillWomen

I am in a relationship with someone who is fairly RP. He took the school of thought to primarily be centered around growth and strong leadership. He is an incredible partner and I am so happy to spend the rest of my life with him.

I do not think that being RP is the exclusive reason he is such a strong partner though. I don't even think it is half of the reason or a third of the reason. He and I were both fairly traditionally natured people prior to meeting and I feel that our values being aligned helped our relationship a lot.

We do believe that a traditional approach builds a stronger nuclear family and is better for children. RPM/RPW is traditional and fit our viewpoints respectively (not perfectly, but well). However, they fit well because it most just comes down to having a traditional viewpoint centered around self improvement and serving your family.
I think a lot of the challenge comes in with Red Pill when you have eternally single men who cannot relate to women and believe RP is an excuse to see themselves as above women. They assume that they ares single because women are whores rather than because they need to improve themselves. RedPillMen seems like it is full of bitter single men, RedPillWomen is about women who want to improve themselves to attract a HVM and largley women in long term, traditional relationships.

Also- Red Pill Men and Red Pill Women are different. They have many overlaps, but there are some ideas they do not agree on.

divingrose77101 · 2022-01-12T17:08:50+00:00

I was married to a red pill guy for 21 years. Back then, we just called it plain old misogyny though.

He locked me down into marriage very quickly because he found me kind, submissive, and attractive and thought I would be the perfect household servant and mother.

I worked three jobs to put us both though college while he was only working part time. I put off having kids so I could get my master’s degree and he told me he’d divorce me if I didn’t a giving him children soon.

He expected me to do 90% of the child raising, 99% of the housework, most of the yard work, and also bring in extra income.

He bought cars without telling me. Chose our home without my input. And was a constant cheater.

When I finally left, he married his mistress within a few months of our divorce being final.

divingrose77101 · 2022-01-12T17:10:50+00:00

My ex husband was actually horrified when he realized I am more than a pretty face. Other people who know and love me find me funny, smart, passionate, and creative. He didn’t think any of those things were good things.

lemurianelf · 2022-01-12T14:42:01+00:00

Didn't date but had a best male friend who was TRP. He was really into me and kept negging me about my dating choices. I was objectively way out of his league. He's borderline obese, never finished college. Has a good job but no career or bright future. Lives with his brother, though they own a small condo. Reads comic books all day and play games. Not traveled. But he was fun to hang out and was a friend of a friend.

He became trp as a result of lack of success with women though he claimed he was very successful with them... I have seen women give him his number so he definitely was attractive enough for some women. But he was very bitter. I think he would have made a decent partner. He was just bitter and angry at women. I think a loving relationship would have pulled him from watching YouTube crap and reading articles about it all day.

Whynotbebetter · 2022-01-12T17:48:06+00:00

What is red pill, purple pill, blue pill, CMV.... People in this group (like many on reddit) are always talking about stuff like everybody knows what it means. How does everybody know everything? Is there a redditclass you can go to?

GridReXX · 2022-01-12T21:07:49+00:00

I'll go.

He wouldn't describe himself as "Red Pill" because he thinks this entire section of the internet is full of lames.

He's more of a "natural."

We met through a mutual friend who suggested we meet on a venture together. This was back in 2012 when every millennial who wanted to and was savvy enough was getting "investor funding" here and there fairly easily or at least more easily than previous generations.

Anyway, we met then at the bar of a swanky hotel with our laptops and got drinks and talked shop. I could tell he was flirting, but he had a gf and I wasn't immediately attracted to him in that way I don't think.

Fast forward a couple of years. We reconnect again. Actually, start working together. His leadership skills and ability to motivate and excite others was impressive. I could sense myself becoming more attracted to him. Then we developed this really deep friendship. He told me everything and I was wanted to run things by me when it came to issues he was having or even just discussing theoretical topics like PPD type stuff or climate change or community issues.

Why I would describe him as Red:

he fundamentally believes women are different than men
he fundamentally believes a warm-blooded man should enjoy his youth and beauty and fuck everything and everyone he desires to
he fundamentally believes a man should lead and that women should accept that role of being his help-mate
he fundamentally believes it is fully the woman's job to meld to him and his desires/beliefs/etc.

Now you may ask why we aren't together? Distance, but also he ultimately chose a woman considerably younger than him whose mind he could shape. How do I know this? He told me lol. Also, he convinced her that they are "open" except only for women. I say convince because he had to convince her of this. He also more liberally speaks to her in a dismissive way.

But then he'll say things like "you and I should have been thing -- Michelle and Barack! YOU GET ME!”

lol we aren't a thing because his version of "red" whether he realizes it or not, is “my way or the highway.” There's no compromise with him.

I think he likes the idea of a woman like me, but not me in practice.

I did tell him recently to be mindful of how much he expresses his "open arrangement" with his lady. I told him she said yes because in her mind you're a catch. That was her compromising. But being constantly reminded of you fucking other women will likely lead to resentment, especially if she wasn't on board, to begin with. So he should tone the "in your face-ness" of it down.

TheBrokenBaller · 2022-01-12T22:50:07+00:00

Red pilled? Nah Im a full blown anarchist. Red Pilled dudes are annoying as shit

FoxCQC · 2022-01-12T18:46:16+00:00

I'm in some FA and incel spaces. We get a lot of redpill guys. Mostly younger ones. I have given up finding love but I am not a hateful person. I usually try to steer the younger guys away from the redpill mindset. Encourage them to go after personal goals. I've never seen someone who swallowed the redpill become a better person. They just get frustrated.

I know they mostly start as men self improvement groups but get toxic. It's unfortunately hard to find healthy male improvement groups. Men value physical strength and the way most men get that is through something aggressive. You can develop strength without the aggression but the men who advocate that are more rare.

wtknight · 2022-01-12T12:47:14+00:00

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womandatory · 2022-01-12T13:38:18+00:00

MRP sub advocates for PUA strategies in married men who are arguing with their wives. It’s okay, chaps, have an abundance mentality. Go out and cheat on your wife like a scumbag (cue heavy cheering from the knuckledraggers).

Seriously though, my current partner probably originated from a place of RP before we met and to some degree, I originated from an FDS mindset (until they went a bit off-topic). Two sides of the same coin, imo.

If you look beyond the PUA nonsense with TRP and if you look beyond the current weird narrative of FDS, they both emerged from the same basic principles. Invest in yourself - education, savings, health, hygiene, surround yourself with successful and decent people and you’ll attract them.

The problem is, TRP tells men to level up in order to attract hot but cheap, nasty women for the purposes of casual sex. There’s not going to be a sweet, saintly, marriageable unicorn that emerges from that kind of field, sorry. And FDS has gone from have high standards for yourself and dump trashy men to some weird ableist, racist, ageist crap that doesn’t even make sense most of the time.

Fact is, TRP and FDS are actually well-matched if you roll them both back to their basic principles and assume they are both looking for a LTR. They both desperately want a high value partner who earns good coin (you don’t have to earn a lot, just be smart with your money, invest some of it and and don’t piss it all away on something stupid like video games or fake nails), works out and keeps fit, has hobbies, is intelligent, can meet your boss without embarrassing you, gets on with your family no matter how dysfunctional your fam are, has great parenting potential, doesn’t use porn, is loyal and 100% devoted to you alone.

The problem is they’re always waiting for the other to misstep or fuck up so they can sink in the knife. The ‘AHA!’ moment, if you will.

If a man who follows the basic RP premise of self improvement/provider mentality meets a woman who follows the basic FDS premise of self improvement/self-reliance mentality, it’s actually likely to be a good match. That’s what me and my current partner did and what we brought to our current relationship is our very best selves. Neither of us are perfect. We’re both post-marriage and raising our own kids and co-parenting with exes, so we’re unlike a lot of younger people here, but we have a lot to offer each other. I don’t need his money so he’s less wary about being used. We both like sex and are sexually compatible, so I don’t feel used in that regard. We have agreed boundaries about monogamy, no cheating, we’re both anti-porn, and we don’t try to parent each other’s kids. We make space for each other’s personal needs and our own and our desires as a couple.

The minute I lose respect for him through some stupid thing he chooses to do, or the minute I feel disrespected by some stupid thing he does that isn’t able to be rectified, I walk, and he knows that. I presume he feels the exact same way and it keeps us in check with our choices. Neither of us are interested in wasting time or flogging a dead horse at our age (40s).

If only a lot of you younger people would stop wasting your time on people who aren’t worth it. Ditch the porn addicts and the situationships. Dump the woman who strings you along with unfulfilled promises, or the man who jerks off to his ex’s nudes. Ditch the guy who laughs at his dumbass friend’s sexist jokes, or the woman who openly criticizes you in front of your friends. Ain’t nobody got time for that shit In a LTR. Show up 100% each of you every single day even when it’s hard as fuck, or ship out.

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Mrs_Drgree · 2022-01-12T15:44:13+00:00

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ZealousidealAd7191 · 2022-01-13T02:27:48+00:00

My wife is married to a Red Pill man. I’m her best

sushiii2020 · 2022-01-12T13:53:45+00:00

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MotznRoth · 2022-01-12T16:29:45+00:00

Incredible relationship, however we still argue from time to time.

luliloo · 2022-01-12T16:24:39+00:00

I’m currently dating two guys who are both RP. I first learned about RP when I started dating the first guy and now that I get it, I prefer it. Love a guy who holds good frame and knows how to lead.

Mrs_Drgree · 2022-01-12T14:53:34+00:00

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Mrs_Drgree · 2022-01-12T14:07:47+00:00

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JohnPettimore · 2022-01-12T22:06:17+00:00

The visceral hatred of the entire idea of the red pill is revealing: ladies, what are you really afraid of?

It reminds me of racism, or homophobia. Someone is homophobic because he, deep down, realizes he might be gay, which is terrifying. Or needs to feel superior to someone else, and uses homosexuality as the perfect platform for that.

Women who trot out stories about how their (allegedly) red pilled husbands/boyfriends were (allegedly) assholes or monsters operate the same way. Either they, deep down, prefer red pilled man, which cuts against the narrative they've been force-fed for most of their lives, and are terrified by that. Or, they need to demonize men, in general, unless they're acquiescent lapdogs, because they're afraid they won't measure up.

The absolute foundation of being red-pilled is giving yourself permission to ask the one question that's forbidden in this culture of men when it comes to women: "What's in this for me?" The red pill is how you rationally, calmly size up what you're getting, what you want, and in a lot of cases, decide that it's not worth it. Which is going to leave a lot of women, who've been trained since birth to manipulate, out in the cold.

The really dirty secret at the heart of all this is that there are a lot of women, maybe the majority, who absolutely crave the idea of a redpilled man. They just cannot allow themselves to admit it.

wtknight · 2022-01-12T12:56:06+00:00

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silkPJson · 2022-01-13T00:57:10+00:00

I haven’t dated any red pill men but I have met and interacted with men who would agree with red pill beliefs and it wasn’t pleasant.

They would neg me and other women, liked to think they were somehow “better” then me due to being a male and only valued/objectified looks/youth/agreeableness.

I wouldn’t have known all these tricks/the meaning if I didn’t frequent this sub/trp so for that I’m grateful.

Gaiamanuscript · 2022-01-13T02:07:19+00:00

I can’t find anything positive about redpoll men. Those are a breed of beta’s who would punch a black eye for arriving home late.

nicksbrunchattiffany · 2022-01-13T02:41:14+00:00

Sort of dates someone like that. We had a lot of things in common when it came to sex and morality, but when it came to politics and certain world views I was more liberal than him.

Would I do it again? Maybe

Yaya199 · 2022-01-16T18:11:38+00:00

From my opinion they will degrade women constantly and complain about them . But In other terms say things “oh but not you all other women “.. don’t understand why they talk about other men so much

Mrs_Drgree · 2022-01-12T13:37:56+00:00

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TakeTheVaccine · 2022-01-12T22:57:51+00:00

I can already assume that a majority of the comments will be negative. Of course. Because red pill is like the antithesis of what you’ve been groomed to think by this “blue pilled” society. Of course theyre will be negative reactions because there’s not one single redpill man that follows it the same, different men have different personalities, and it goes against what you’ve been told your entire life and what you’ve thought of relationships are.

Like a popular example,

Do I think billionaires like Jeff Bezos should stay loyal to his girl? Nope. If he is, That a whole lot of control the girl has to decline him sex. (Not Mackenzie his new gf, Mackenzie actually helped/supported him building Amazon)

Patrick_Bateman007 · 2022-01-12T17:17:27+00:00

What is a Red Pill Man

Title	Women who HAVE in fact dated or married a Red Pill Man, good experience/relationship or negative?
Author	OneAngryBlutbad
Upvotes	107
Comments	480
Date	January 12, 2022 12:24 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/s252nr/women_who_have_in_fact_dated_or_married_a_red/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/women-who-have-in-fact-dated-or-married-a-red-pill.1095712 https://theredarchive.com/post/1095712

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