CMV: If the man makes far more money in a "marriage", the female should do the vast majority of home labor/chores/taking care of children

sarkington · 2022-05-15T14:53:17+00:00

I don’t see how it’s avoidable, given the work required if you do make assloads of $$$$$

And in that case, the man can also hire help if he wants his wife to enjoy life and be an amiable companion and mother . I’ve seen that rationale given by rich dudes — they’d rather have an attentive, rested wife than a stressed out and overworked mombie

HondaCrv2010 · 2022-05-15T13:07:10+00:00

I only agree if the man that makes more pays more for the bills. If it’s still split 50/50 then it’s bullshit

Even then a lot of variables to consider

januaryphilosopher · 2022-05-15T12:29:01+00:00

Hours worked show how much free time you have. If you have the same amount of free time, one person shouldn't be sitting around on their arse expecting the other to be a free maid just because their salaries are different. Lower paying jobs can be just as, if not more, stressful and it was your own choice, not your partner's, to go to university if you found it so terrible. I don't care how much I earn, I won't treat my partner like a servant which would only lead to resentment. Your money doesn't make you superior or entitled to that.

ppd_reject · 2022-05-15T12:49:48+00:00

Hours the man works are usually FAR more stressful then the female if he makes far more money

Better pay doesn't necessary mean a stressful job. I make more money than my partner and his job is far more stressful than mine

thetacobitch · 2022-05-15T14:41:31+00:00

Answer: because love and marriage isn’t a math equation lmfao. This honestly just shows you’ve never been in a real, loving, meaningful relationship.

My boyfriend makes a lot more money than I do. He’s doing very well for himself. I, however, am starting a business and have been struggling financially. We live together and split all household responsibilities. And he’s 100% okay with that, because he wanted a partner that had a career.

You seem to not care for the “hours” argument, but that’s just a reality in a relationship. We both work all day. Just because he makes more money doesn’t make him more tired at the end of the day. I’m also exhausted. He knows that, and actually ~cares~ about that. Making less money doesn’t mean that I don’t need rest. That doesn’t mean I deserve to slave away day and night to somehow compensate for what you think I’m lacking.

Also, I love the saying “behind a great man is usually a greater woman.” My boyfriend would 1000000000% agree. He got a masters degree while working full time and I DID fully take care of all housework at that point. So that he could pursue that. I fed him, did his laundry, make dinner, etc. Constantly for 2 years. Now he’s able to make a ton of money but I’m not there yet.

And if you asked him why he would want to marry me, he would say because I’m his best friend. Because marriage isn’t a math equation.

Not everyone reduced their partner down to their income and actively demeans them for that by depriving them of rest and downtime. You would never do that to someone you actually care about lol.

Also the fact that you went ahead and assigned genders in this little scenario is telling. Drips with misogyny.

peteypete78 · 2022-05-15T13:00:51+00:00

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InfamousBake1859 · 2022-05-15T13:31:23+00:00

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shellstains · 2022-05-15T14:52:09+00:00

“More stressful if he makes more money.” No. Lots of people who make a lot of $$ have easier jobs than those who don’t.

Mark_Freed · 2022-05-15T13:26:28+00:00

This whole thing with trying to measure how much money you make, how many hours you work, or even keep track of chores and ensure both partners contribute equally seems flawed to me.

at that point you might as well sign a contract smh. You both are supposed to be partners, have each others backs. The norms are supposed to be in place to prevent exceptional cases of betryal. It should not be used all the time.

Most of the time, these things should be decided by consensus, empathy, discussion, with full awareness of the particular context. If you can't negotiate these things in good faith, what kind of relationship is this?

Do we really want a one size fit all rules imposed on all of us by "society"?

Just because you make more money does not mean the work is more "stressful" the money you make is a function of demand and supply. How useful and rare your skills are.

Having uneven expectations about this stuff is fine, it is just inconsiderate when you are not upfront about your expectations, if you promise to do your share and then later renege. Resentment and strife emerge because of such changes in the dynamic.

So find someone who understands this sort of a tradeoff. You will find people for sure.

But then you also need to be considerate of the changing circumstances. Pregnancy, her career, child care. You can't demand too much of a person. So in that regard, it comes down to picking someone you know is not lazy, is healthy, negotiates in good faith, etc. Then you can and should make allowances for her health, her situation. So your view needs to consider these 2 main things.

1) Find someone who wants this sort of an uneven distribution of finanical and household responsibilities.

2) Be a decent human and incorporate sane exceptions into your expectatations. Pick someone you know won't take advantage of the same instead of playing such hardball.

In a wider context, it seems to me that women like to be spoiled and pampered. So their ideal scenario would be to find a guy who wants to watch her be happy and not do anything that she dislikes. If the guy can afford to, this means automating or outsourcing menial tasks. So in a way your demands can communicate to her that you don't really love her intrinsically but you want to use her for pleasure, extrinsic value. So exposing the transactional nature of relationships can piss off people and you will lose many great potential partners.

How is this "equality" for the male and why should he marry into this situation?

The women that want equality usually are also earning money. They will likely not be willing to marry up if it meant that the guy expected her to take care of the household work. So they will find guys who they think are buying into the egalitarian model and then among those guys maybe maximise on wealth.

Unless the guy is that rich. Even then, she would expect the guy to want to help, to be willing to pitch in when needed. Be considerate.

So men would have to agree to this because if not there are other guys willing to? Same reason women feel a pressure to put out early... The market forces are powerful.

ohdiddly · 2022-05-15T14:54:57+00:00

r/MenAndFemales

sublimemongrel · 2022-05-15T12:33:15+00:00

“Hours worked” is still one way to factor in the division of labor equitably. Stress or how laborsome each person’s job is I suppose would be another (like compare an office job to a construction job or something).

If you really are genuinely looking to have an equitable relationship with someone it’s gonna take into account many factors, not just one (ie money).

Comprehensive_Bed314 · 2022-05-15T12:36:18+00:00

Hours.

Time is worth more than anything else in this world.

Mrs_Drgree · 2022-05-15T14:37:43+00:00

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crookedsummer2019 · 2022-05-15T12:48:24+00:00

Because it’s about the time requirement of chores. It takes time to do all the household chores. A higher income doesn’t remove that time requirement.

Two people make the mess, cleaning up benefits two people. If you live alone you still have to clean up after yourself right? So if you do the family laundry you’re also washing YOUR dirty clothes right?

This is called adulting. Yep, chores suck but they still have to be done. If both partners work the same amount of hours and have the same amount of time to do chores, then it makes sense that the chores are split evenly.

Also, that way, both partners can have the same chore free time together, rather than one sitting on the couch while the other does chores after work, if you have two doing chores after work then it’s done faster and leaves time for cuddling, sex, conversation etc.

wtknight · 2022-05-15T15:16:36+00:00

No. This isn't fair. If the man is rich from an inheritance and he is just sitting at home playing video games all day and his partner is working 50 hours a week as a nurse, then she should not be expected to come home and do all of the chores, too.

thetacobitch · 2022-05-15T14:44:23+00:00

Show me a physician that’s married to a fast food worker. I’ll wait. Reading this fully it’s just a stupid scenario lol. You’re just looking for extreme fake scenarios to cosplay ~alpha male that makes woman do everything~

Wash your own underpants, homie. And certainly don’t get married if you’re just going to reduce your partner to their income and punish them for that.

chingness · 2022-05-15T13:32:09+00:00

Female is an adjective - you are using that word incorrectly. It’s interesting that you keep using the noun “man” but the adjective “female” in the same sentence 😂

xcheshirecatxx · 2022-05-15T14:00:46+00:00

Yeah... Depends

I make more money than my fiance. But my job is also easier

That's what getting an education does

I also work from home

So I can put clothes in the washer all day, start the dishwasher, I'll also be able to put longer recipes to cook while I work

He's working 5 min from home but 5 more hours a week

I breastfeed, so he change more diapers when he's here

I mean, I want to spend time with him, and that's not by giving him all the chores that it will happen

I'm paying my mil to help us with the chores sometimes.

He'll help me set the pool I can afford to pay that he won't use, but his son and ours will like

KaleidoscopeEyes12 · 2022-05-15T14:43:15+00:00

Um… no.

Hours the man works are usually FAR more stressful than the female if he makes far more money.

This isn’t how it works at all. My mom has a way more stressful job than my dad. She works in a nursing home with people who are literally dying. My dad gets paid more to sit and code all day. Both of them are definitely working hard, and they both have their stressful times, but especially during the pandemic, my mom is at the end of her rope in terms of stress.

Sacrifice to getting to that salary.

Okay, but that doesn’t affect the here and now. Good for him that he made those sacrifices. Did anyone force him to? No? Cool, that was a choice he made to get a higher paying job. She did not make that choice. So what? Now both of them are working the same 45 hours.

So you’re suggesting that when the man works 45 hours, he should get to put his legs up for the rest of the time, but when the “female” works 45 hours, she should have to come home and cook and clean and do literally everything else so she basically has no free time? Wtf

Would you be saying the same if the situation was reversed? If the women had more income and the “male” worked as a waiter?

LarryLooxmax · 2022-05-15T14:59:16+00:00

Relationships in real life are not about being “fair” or “equal”… those ideas are toxic and started by feminism in the first place to get women angry over nothing so they can be strong, independent cat ladies

If you love your wife, get her a maid/nanny. Both if possible. She will have more free time, appreciate the shit out of you and want to fuck you more (i know this from experience, dead ass)

If you want to bitch about things being “fair” then let her do all the chores and quietly resent you. Watch how she feigns a headache at night when you make your moves. Then call her a bitch, divorce her and the judge will definitely find a “fair” solution to your problems.

The choice is yours bro

midwesternMD · 2022-05-15T16:28:45+00:00

1) if you’re doing comparisons, it should be man to woman, male to female. Mixing and matching is grammatically erroneous.

2) I’m a man who earns a pretty healthy income by most metrics. But I still work x hrs a wk. If I marry a woman who works 2x the hours for 1/2 my income, I’m not going to chip in 1/3 of the chores because I earn more. Thats not a partnership/marriage, that’s roommates equitably distributing chores and rent.

3) I also happen to be a bit anal retentive with respect to many aspects of chores. If I drew an asinine line in the sand like you describe, I’d never find anyone to live up to my standards. The fact is, regardless of how a couple distributes chores, the person who cares more about xyz will end up doing xyz, even if it had been assigned to the other person. So the smart move is to distribute chores based on importance, skillset/preferences, and schedules.

Reisiluu · 2022-05-15T17:55:00+00:00

magically wind up wanting to marry men who make far more money

Try again. I don't care about his money as long as he has a job that pays half the bills. Sorry bud, women have jobs these days and dating/marrying some useless cunt with a good salary just doesn't cut it anymore.

Why force yourself to date a woman who is working in a low wage job if you don't like the result of that choice? Get a housewife if you're traditional or a higher earning wife if you're egalitarian. Trying to convince women to do both because you want to have your cake and eat it too is laughable.

RealNiceLady · 2022-05-15T15:09:48+00:00

OP sees everything as a transaction. That's the real issue.

2022-05-15T13:54:15+00:00

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Novadina · 2022-05-15T14:38:29+00:00

Hours the man works are usually FAR more stressful then the female if he makes far more money Women on PPD (and in general) keep speaking about “equality” but magically wind up wanting to marry men who make far more money.

I didn’t. We made the same when we dated, but he is 8 years older, so realistically it was less, and I make much more now.

These same women cry about “doing equal work at home” despite the man making more money and claim this is equality.

I want my husband to do equal work at home for sure, and he wants me to do equal work at home as well, even though I make more money, and we both agree this is equal. It’s about hours available - so if I have an important presentation I’m preparing for and work later he will do the housework/cooking that night. If he’s fixing the roof, I’ll do it. If we have the same time, we take turns.

Hours the man works are usually FAR more stressful then the female if he makes far more money

Then he should get another job. Why is it the other person’s fault if he doesn’t like his job? I make way more money and don’t find my job more stressful - in fact my husband stresses about the small place he’s working for going under and I don’t have any concerns the giant corporation I work for will have issues, not to mention if I got laid off I am quite confident I could get another job quickly as I have an in-demand skillset.

Sacrifice getting to that salary. For instance, a physician would’ve gone through medical school, residency, etc but then is able to get a job in his 30s where he can work 45 hours/week or so. The equivalent female who works 45 hours a week at a fast food/waitress job in her 30s is NOT equivalent in terms of sacrifice despite working the “same hours”

Why wouldn’t he marry someone who also went to school if that kind of equality was important to him? What does this have to do with housework? No matter how much sacrificing someone did when younger, housework remains the same, they need to eat, they need clean clothes…

How is this “equality” for the male and why should he marry into this situation?

Maybe he wants a partner to go through life with? Or to raise a family? He should obviously find someone he actually thinks is his equal if he wants equality, and not someone he sees as below him due to education or job or whatever.

bluestjuice · 2022-05-15T15:14:24+00:00

This is a lot of complaining about maybe doing half of the maintenance and upkeep of the place you are living.

Like, when one is single one works AND does 100% of the housework, and while adding a second person to the mix probably increases the workload some, it’s not likely to double it. So you’re looking at moving from 100% of, like, 8 hours of housework to 50% of, maybe, 12 hours of housework. 6<8 so you’re coming out ahead anyway.

thetacobitch · 2022-05-15T15:30:17+00:00

You ever notice how the men that complain about this shit never actually have a lot of money? 🤣 Tell us your income buddy, don’t be shy

InfamousBake1859 · 2022-05-15T14:24:51+00:00

Hard no.

It should be based on time. If he’s working 40 hours a week and she’s also working 40 hours a week, the remaining unpaid labor should be split 50:50.

Plus, if you are high earner, stop crying over small things. Just hire a nanny and a housekeeper. Ffs.

Regarding your scenario: male doctor, female fast food worker - she most definitely also sacrificed. She likely helped support him during med school and maybe even residency (by labor) for the past 8 years or whatever. At this point, if she’s still a fastfood worker, her husband should just let her be a SAHM, and once he gets home, help out with some basic chores.

Why hours and not by dollar? Because it would be insane. If he works 45 hours, comes home and relaxes, she has to come home after also working 45 hours and work like a slave at home…? Who would want that kind of live? Who would want their WIFE (remember, a woman you supposibly LOVE) to do that? Then they woud clock 50 hours of total labor for the male physician and what? 120 hours for the woman?

I seriously cannot fathom a man who would do that to someone he loves.

nobodysomebodyanybdy · 2022-05-15T14:40:35+00:00

I honestly feel like a lot of relationships fail because of an overemphasis on the importance of money.

I don’t care if I’m making more money or my partner is, I would never expect them to do everything in the house just because I make more.

It’s not hard to divvy up chores based on what the other can do without making the crux of the point about who brings home more money.

Reading about “hot takes” on these relationship dynamics oftentimes feel more akin to business deals than a partnership or any basis in actually being in love.

I see absolutely no point in being in a relationship with an ideology so calculating. Might as well be single or have a platonic roommate.

neetykeeno · 2022-05-15T14:53:19+00:00

Dude. Take it from someone who worked fast food for some years in her late teens. No very pretty burger hand is going to be marrying some boring stick in the mud coder or accountant unless it means an easy life. It may have escaped your notice...but middle class dudes are only a material upgrade they have nothing else going in their favor compared to working class men who usually have the advantage in terms of masculinity, strength, household problem solving and ability to work as a team. So either pony up the money for a housekeeper or learn to put your socks in the hamper yourself or marry within your social class.

Alter_Of_Nate · 2022-05-15T15:26:38+00:00

This is an immature perspective. It sounds like you want to marry either a mother or a servant. A marriage shouldn't be transactional and this is little more than putting a dollar amount on each and then trying to balance the checkbook.

When I was working 70 hours a week, she primarily kept up the house and kids, with me doing what I had time and energy to do when I was off. Sometimes, that wasn't much and I still appreciate that she took care of things that allowed me to make the money I was making.

Now, I still make 5 times what she makes but in less than half the time. So I do more of the upkeep around the house while she is at work. She helps when she's off.

Its not about how much money each makes as it is about being man enough to live and take care of your shit like an adult.

2022-05-15T15:20:21+00:00

I’ve made far more than either of my husbands and still end up doing more of the chores (and childcare, when I had a little one). Mr. Paisley is a better housekeeper than I am and willingly picks up slack but I work from home while he does not. But in general, I think women just care more about that stuff than men.

AquaChip · 2022-05-15T16:02:42+00:00

Only if the man pays for everything.

ruboyuri · 2022-05-15T16:17:53+00:00

Wealthy men want a shiny trophy, not a haggard servant

briiiana1122 · 2022-05-15T16:43:27+00:00

This is the scenario that causes women in this situation to feel taken advantage of, and as though they are the mommy maid to her children and the useless 80s sitcom type husband. If you want a housewife, get and support a housewife. If you want a contributing partner, get that but also contribute to your household in equal ways. Trying to have both causes resentment, income doesn’t mean you own your partners time. If it’s that important find someone who makes the same money as you do.

I make more money than my partner and I’d feel like a completely garbage human being if I lorded it over him and made him do all the housework because of it. He’d feel the same way. We don’t count the dollars in our house in that way, it’s a recipe for the end of the relationship.

AngelxEyez · 2022-05-15T16:51:00+00:00

I actually would agree

but it so cringey to read you use “men” and “females” together instead of men/women or male/female. Good lord lol

My boyfriend makes in an hour what I make in a day. We plan to get married in a couple years and are on the same page that hes gonna buy a house and I’m going to turn it into our home. (I will work and contribute how I can financially too, but it will be a fraction of what he does)

I will literally pack him lunches for work and make us both dinner, I’ll handle dishes and laundry, and cleaning (hes very clean anyhow, and of course tidys up and helps clear the table or a mess when he sees it, I mean the mopping and vacuuming and such ill take care of)

I’m happy to do all of that, same as hes happy to provide the house for us to settle down in.

Sure we could split household responsibilities and financial responsibilities both down the middle, but we’d have to rent for much longer -until I had enough to pay half of a house (I’m in Canada where the houses cost at least twice what they do in the states) and wed def have to get a much smaller one than what hes been looking at and sending me lately.

Hed be fucking exhausted if he had to work as hard as he does and come home and cook/clean (more likely hed just not clean and eat like crap)

We are both happy to have found a person that complements us, teamwork and a common goal (a happy healthy family of our own) we are happy with our plans for roles within our marriage, and were sure to discuss that aspect.
Its just doesn’t make sense any other way (for us)

Werewolf1810 · 2022-05-15T17:56:28+00:00

Sometimes I can’t help but feel people here are arguing over things that are just too personal.

This is the kinda thing where you and your partner just need to work it out and come to your own agreement. Just because some people do it a certain way doesn’t mean you have to. And you shouldn’t be with someone you can’t find a decent compromise on this with.

Speaking purely for myself, every woman I ever dated made far far less than I did. And yet I still did the “majority” of the household work and chores because it was just preference. However, there are other places we compromised in turn.

So…. why argue about the preferences of others who aren’t part of your situation?

alphadawg26 · 2022-05-15T12:44:38+00:00

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andtheywontstopcomin · 2022-05-15T12:39:55+00:00

I’m gonna have to agree with the women on this one. If you’re making 500k a year but your job is easy as fuck and has short hours, you shouldn’t have to do chores around the house? Hours of work does matter. But the nature of the job also matters.

However, I recognize that high paying jobs usually require more effort and mental labor than just staying at home. Since this is often the case, it makes sense to expect the person who isn’t working a high paying job to do more housework, to match. For example if a husband is working long hours at a stressful but high paying job, he shouldn’t have to come home and do the same amount of chores as the wife who stays at home and does nothing else. And if he does have to do chores, then he shouldn’t have to give much of his income to the wife.

I think your post has a lot of variables that need to be considered

Over_Noise3530 · 2022-05-15T13:32:45+00:00

If we have to clean we shouldn't have to work at all

2022-05-15T14:45:18+00:00

If the man's work is really stressful but is high paid( which conpensate the stressful side of the job) but he is married and his wife also works even if her income is much lower than his salary I think it is unfair that she does all the housework withoit his help because he also lives in the same house as her( it is not a "long distance" marriage). He also needs to help even if it is just wash the dishes and he also need to help to take care of his children because after all the children are biologically his children and the man also live with his children.

It is the ideal for both parties in the marriage to help each other to maintain the house and the marriage.

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Basketballjuice · 2022-05-15T14:13:17+00:00

I like the idea of one person doing the office work with the other doing the home chores.

IDGAF who's what. In fact, I'd rather be a house husband.

Cupcakelover1985 · 2022-05-15T16:34:48+00:00

That depends on whether he pays most of the bills or not. If she’s contributing the same amount of money to the bills it doesn’t make sense for her to do more chores than him as they’re both equally contributing the the financing of the home.

Also some people don’t care about equality, many care about equity and many don’t care about either. So what’s to stop women from just going after men who make more than them and who also want to help with housework?

Valuable-Marzipan761 · 2022-05-15T16:45:22+00:00

I think money should be shared within a marriage. if he works more hours though, that should be deducted from his housework responsibility.

2022-05-15T16:47:26+00:00

I somewhat agree, with the proviso that if both work the same hours, then he is using that extra money to outsource his share of housework ie by paying a cleaner/ laundry service/ nanny etc.

You don't get to lord it up doing no housework just because you earn more.

If she works fewer hours that changes things somewhat, but there is still emotional labour involved in having a family which money can't buy.

Dontmindthatgirl · 2022-05-15T16:50:54+00:00

Ok wait though… man and “female” ? Do you mean -woman- ?

DXBrigade · 2022-05-15T17:08:15+00:00

Not necessarily.
Going to college is not a "sacrifice".

basedmama21 · 2022-05-15T17:26:40+00:00

That’s how it is in my house. We save on childcare because I’m home all day. And I work from home (100% for myself) so that’s a bonus. Husband and I both wanted it that way.

delight-n-angers · 2022-05-15T17:42:42+00:00

We go by hours worked and difficulty. And it switches off week to week. Sometimes my husband is working 12 hour days in 110 degree weather and I pick up more slack at home. Sometimes I'm on crazy deadlines and taking bridge calls or traveling to remote properties in the middle of the night while he sleeps til noon. Those weeks he picks up more slack around the house.

The real issue here isn't who does more or who makes more money - it's men and women refusing to communicate and compromise like fucking grown ups.

BKLD12 · 2022-05-15T18:25:20+00:00

Obviously you and many others here have never been a teacher.

Just because a job pays more does not automatically mean it has longer or more stressful hours. Teachers, for instance, often have to work beyond their contracted hours due to the sheer amount of work that needs to get done, and I can tell you from experience that it is freaking stressful. Working with students is the easy part IMO. Even that one kid who called me a "bitch" and a "ho" in class and drew penises on the whiteboard was less stressful to work with than the piles and piles of extra paperwork (especially as a SPED teacher), the endless meetings, and administration/the state breathing down your neck constantly about student test scores. I was late for my mom's birthday dinner because there was a student event until 7:00 that night after working a full school day. Talk about exhausting.

Yet, teachers are famously not well compensated for their work. It wouldn't be terribly hard to find a partner who made more than I was paid for that year, and I was paid more than what was average in my state! While there are certainly jobs that are more demanding physically and mentally, many higher paying jobs are not. I've met former teachers who have burnt out and gone on to other things who said as much. Teaching is a field of passion, and that point has been exploited.

All of that said, I don't even think it matters if one partner makes more than the other. This is especially true if there are kids in the equation. If a partner doesn't pull their weight in a relationship, that's going to breed resentment. Period. My dad definitely worked longer hours than my mom did, but made a point to prioritize his family. All of his kids have an excellent relationship with him because he was present for us. Not being present and not helping out your wife and/or kids is going to negatively affect your relationship. Something to think about.

2022-05-15T18:58:22+00:00

What is she getting in return? If she does all this, she won’t be able to make as much money. How is she being compensated for that? Does he give her money? Does he contribute to her retirement account? Pay for her medical insurance and bills?

Flightlessbirbz · 2022-05-15T21:39:20+00:00

“The man” and “the female” 😬

Imo this makes sense, IF the “male” is also working significantly more hours. Obviously whoever is home more is going to have more time to do housework. If my partner is working 60hrs a week and I’m part-time, I don’t expect him to do any housework. But if we both work 40hrs a week and you make $50/hr and I make $20/hr then no. We both work just as much outside the home, you just get paid better. Housework should still be split.

Edit: Clearly you’ve never worked as a server.lol Many low-paying jobs are absolutely exhausting. Perhaps the physician has sacrificed more, but he is also reaping the rewards. That was his choice. Both are equally tired at the end of the day.

alphadawg26 · 2022-05-15T12:31:55+00:00

A salary discrepancy doesn't mean that she can't afford half of the bills and the he shouldn't be responsible for half of the chores. It means he should have more in his personal bank account after shit is taken care of 50/50.

alphadawg26 · 2022-05-15T13:54:36+00:00

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2022-05-15T14:42:42+00:00

This is so delusional. I've never seen a single woman on here ever say she was with and wanted to be with a rich man.

gate18 · 2022-05-15T15:28:09+00:00

Women on PPD (and in general) keep speaking about "equality" but magically wind up wanting to marry men who make far more money.

Is the said man a robot? Why does he accept to marry a begger?

These same women cry about "doing equal work at home" despite the man making more money and claim this is equality.

How come housework doesn't get paid? which is harder and more time-consuming the housework or whatever the man does at work.

Sacrifice getting to that salary. For instance, a physician would've gone through medical school, residency, etc but then is able to get a job in his 30s where he can work 45 hours/week or so.

So why would he want to marry a servent? He could just pay one.

The equivalent female who works 45 hours a week at a fast food/waitress job in her 30s is NOT equivalent in terms of sacrifice despite working the "same hours"

As someone that went to university, fast food/waitress is way way harder than just listening to lectures and hanging out with friends.

Essential workers during covid proved how important they are. And how they get fucked by the rich. In UK, the first people to get a pay cut were the Essential workers

I notice many women try to avoid this discussion of "income" and want to discuss "hours worked" to get around this truth.

Because that's the true sacrifice. You could work close to the government and just steal your income - easily steal it, in a legal way

The idea that people get paid for their "sacrifice" is laughable.

How is this "equality" for the male and why should he marry into this situation?

He shouldn't. He should go to a country where fuck slaves a legal.

There's a fake/misplaced entitlement in this post. As if humanity is desperately waiting for this man to marry. If he thinks his salary is more important, great, don't marry. But it would be crazy if he turns into red-pill-popping douchebag demanding women (other people) should care that he makes money.

drew8311 · 2022-05-15T15:27:10+00:00

It's all about total hours working, if one person makes so much more money then it's a question if the other needs to work at all. But if they do work then it very well could be the same hours which means no time for extra chores. Sounds like paying for a housekeeper is an option though.

Catherine772023 · 2022-05-15T13:32:29+00:00

Unless he’s just overpaid or has a passive income or works similar hours or doesn’t do a valuable job I agree she should do more to help. Either chores or childcare or help him with his work or bureaucracy. Mum is a lawyer who helped Dad (another lawyer) at work. And with taxes.

sernamedeleted · 2022-05-15T17:19:28+00:00

Transactional relationships are toxic, unhealthy, and doomed to failure.

Healthy relationships are based on open and honest communication between mature consenting adults who treat each other with respect and share common interests and compatible life goals.

smallstarseeker · 2022-05-15T12:48:30+00:00

Couples should divide their chores on their own.

Also those same people shouldn't dump their emotional baggage on public.

She is not my wife, she is not the mother of my children, she is not even my friend, I'm not her therapist... why the f should I listen to her whining?

I just share the same gender with her husband.

Instead those people should take their problems to their partners.

crookedsummer2019 · 2022-05-15T13:01:18+00:00

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EviessVeralan · 2022-05-15T14:42:42+00:00

I would argue that the couple should take into consideration how labor intensive the job is and how many hours are worked. If a woman makes more then her construction worker husband with her comfortable air conditioned office job it would be unfair to demand that he does most if not all chores when he gets home.

sharksville · 2022-05-15T14:43:11+00:00

It’s really a hypocritical situation and I wonder where are all the true feminist regarding the matter because all I see a pseudo feminists. And it’s something to think about logically

anon12xyz · 2022-05-15T18:17:21+00:00

Love,marriage, partnership. It’s not a math equation. Compromise and discussions

2022-05-15T18:36:12+00:00

The easiest job I ever had was an office job that paid the most. The hardest job I ever had was minimum wage. Waitressing is extremely physically demanding. Salary doesn't correlate with difficulty of work.

Kittycynn · 2022-05-15T18:37:49+00:00

Folks, this what poor people imagine how Rich live Be like.

fakingandnotmakingit · 2022-05-15T19:01:25+00:00

My position as the higher earner is this:

I love my man. We are a partnership. I cannot fathom how someone in love could make their significant other work for an equal amount of time and effort.... And then deman even more time and effort when they come home just because of income difference.

I just could not fathom how you could do that to someone you supposedly love.

Personally IF this is how you approach things in life, make that clear in the dating stages. Because to me that is not love, and I would not stand for it regardless of where I am in the relationship.

Honestly I hope division of labour gets more attention, enough that it gets discussed in the dating in relationship stage, so that both parties know what they're getting into and they can't gtfo if it's not what they want.

itscoldupheredude · 2022-05-15T20:18:57+00:00

you can’t seem to say men and women in the same sentence…. incel alert

RinoaRita · 2022-05-15T20:28:36+00:00

In a partnership you usually work backwards of free time. So if the partners both have x hours to themselves at the end of the week it’s fair. If they both have x dollars of fun money that’s fair. Not to say you have to nickel and dime it. But if the woman has less hours or less commute then that should be factored but the same for reverse.

If the woman is a nurse with long hours and the guy is work from home coding he should pick up the slack. If the guy is a trucker and on the road and the woman is a teacher and gets more holidays she should pick up the slack.

It does get more complicated with stay at home parent situations but you can still do free time backwards. I personally wouldn’t want a housewife with no kids. At that point she should be doing 40 hours of chores but I wouldn’t be ok with my partner staying home with no kids and no job.

Wildhouse83 · 2022-05-15T20:47:13+00:00

Men should not marry, not have kids and not cohabitate. Problem solved.

HazyMemory7 · 2022-05-15T21:45:00+00:00

Chores should be divided up based on how much time each person has.

Getting an attractive, good woman to start a family with is the benefit the man who earns a lot of money gets. Not having his wife do all the chores.

Sodahkiin · 2022-05-15T22:00:52+00:00

Imo if the man is making way more money than the women then there would be a point where quality of life for both partners would enormously increase if the women just stopped working. The women will be less stressed and happier, can do all the house work for the man and have dinner ready for when he returns home. They may even not lose much money if they have babies are in daycare because now you can just look after them at home which is better anyway.

friskygrandma · 2022-05-15T22:48:56+00:00

No. When I was married, my partner made 3x more than me and watched Netflix half the time because he had nothing to do. We worked roughly the same amount of hours. If I want to work for a more rewarding pay, I canr expect to carry the burden of the house.

Title	CMV: If the man makes far more money in a "marriage", the female should do the vast majority of home labor/chores/taking care of children
Author	alphadawg26
Upvotes	13
Comments	482
Date	May 15, 2022 12:20 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/uq4xr2/cmv_if_the_man_makes_far_more_money_in_a_marriage/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/cmv-if-the-man-makes-far-more-money-in-a-marriage.1114154 https://theredarchive.com/post/1114154

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