How many of y'all are actually in successful LTR?

Dependent_Vast_4272 · 2022-12-12T14:15:18+00:00

I am, but it took a LOT of hard times and work to get where we are now. You cannot have a successful relationship without trust and open communication, and you have to be willing to be real with your partner (even the things you are ashamed of).

grummthepillgrumm · 2022-12-12T16:44:08+00:00

Married for 4 years, been together for 12. My husband was my first everything (not like I was saving myself or anything, although I was raised in a religious cult, so was shamed for anything related to sex + relationships). We met in college. Became best friends, spending as much time together as possible. He was too scared to make a move and threaten our friendship, so I had to make the first move and tell him I liked him more than a friend.

We are still best friends to this day, we work together from home, and we spend every minute together.

Our relationship has survived this long because we communicate EVERYTHING. I mean literally everything. I think that's the only way to truly be happy in a marriage.

I come to read and comment on PPD with my popcorn (I mostly read it while I bike!). I love the hot takes and the bizarre crazy woman-hating comments from angry incels. I often read aloud to my husband and we make fun of it together.

TermAggravating8043 · 2022-12-12T14:03:03+00:00

I’m married with children too and i also disagree with a lot of the stuff here but I come back cause it’s like watching a car crash and partly also cause I have a son and I don’t want him to end up like the bitter angry men on here

BlueMountainDace · 2022-12-12T14:12:47+00:00

Married for 4 years, but been together for almost 8. Have a kid and have moved, job hopped, and had crises like parent deaths.

We have a strong, fulfilling relationship and are aligned on what direction we want to go in as a family in a lot of areas of our life.

I come here mostly to read all the shitty takes.

pinacolorada · 2022-12-12T15:04:15+00:00

it just seems like the best place to get to get relationship advice would be from people who have successful relationships.

but people who are in happy relationships didn’t necessarily get there because they know something the rest of us don’t. a lot of them just met the right person and everything just fell into place.

I would argue that a single 30yo woman who’s been actively dating for 3 years, probably has more useful dating advice to offer than a married 30yo woman who met her husband in college

_revelationary · 2022-12-12T15:07:31+00:00

Married for 6.5 years, been together 12.5 now. Friends for 3 years before that. Nobody listens to or cares about my advice here though because I a) lean blue pill and b) am a woman past a certain age 😂

Still don’t think I’ve hit “the wall” quite yet. Maybe after this pregnancy 😋

YaKnowEstacado · 2022-12-12T14:01:59+00:00

Been with my husband 10 years, married for five. But I'm not really here to give advice, this isn't an advice sub.

2022-12-12T16:02:56+00:00

We're going on 3 years but I'm in my early/middle 20s, so we're both on the younger side compared to most of the married people here. We're together with the goal of marriage, buying a house, doing the whole "forever" thing.

Honestly, when I see how some of the single men and women here talk, it makes sense why they're single.

Lift_and_Lurk · 2022-12-12T14:10:04+00:00

married with kids. Laughing at the dive bar on fire that this sub is.

KommandaKoopa · 2022-12-12T20:12:24+00:00

I’ve been in a LTR for about 5 years now. This place is not really the best for dating advice.

ohdiddly · 2022-12-12T14:15:55+00:00

Meeeee

and yes most of the posts I read on here do not apply to me whatsoever

AstronautLoveShack · 2022-12-12T15:29:24+00:00

2nd marriages for us. Been together 10 years, married 2.5 years. Met him when I was 41, started dating him when I was 42. He was 48. So we are older and won’t be having children. I have one child, he has none, but we do have a spoiled dog and a couple of cats.

Teacup000 · 2022-12-12T15:55:30+00:00

Married three years, two kids.

I hang out here because it reminds me to appreciate what I have.

chingness · 2022-12-12T14:24:21+00:00

I was in a LTR for 4 years and engaged. This sub was one of the reasons why we broke up, that and his alcoholism.

Creation_Soul · 2022-12-12T14:29:47+00:00

met my wife in college (I was 22, she was 20), married when I was 28 and I am now 32.

I am not some chad or anything like that, I just met my wife through a friend of a friend and hit it off. I consider our relationship successful, i these 10 years I can count on 2 fingers the serious arguments we had (and one of those arguments was due to miscommunication which we realised 2 hours into the argument and basically laughed it off for 30 minutes).

And yes, finding a relationship is harder as you get older because all "the good ones" (applies to both genders) are usually already taken. That's why I laugh when I hear some delusional soul who says that "just wait until I am 30 and have money, I will be swimming in pussy".

Urbanwitch666 · 2022-12-12T17:57:13+00:00

I've been with my partner for 8 years and we're expecting our first child.

We met aged 22 (me) and him 23 - we've had ups and downs but we communicate everything. No secrets, no hidden resentment. We have very similar taste. He's happy to let me take charge in terms of life direction and that really works for me. But he's strong and firm in his needs too, so not like a wet blanket with no boundaries.

I think our relationship success is really down to both choosing commitment, while giving a lot of freedom. Our relationship doesn't contain possessiveness or much jealousy, we don't set crazy standards for each other, we respect the others autonomy. We also do date nights and prioritise keeping it alive in the bedroom.

But nobody on this sub gives a fuck what I think, as I'm a woman 😂

Stunning-Potato-1984 · 2022-12-12T15:48:10+00:00

Been with my partner for a almost a decade. Lived together for over 7. DINKS. Childfree. Met in our 20s.

I am Essie Davis in the Babadook screaming "why can't you just be normal!?" to the kids here.

It's staggering to see "why Tinder no work like blowjob door dash for me?" here.

MarBitt · 2022-12-12T16:26:06+00:00

Married, relationship 10+ years.

Most of the things here seem alien and superficial to the point that they completely miss the point of love or being human. So I'm taking it more like fun with some interesting insights here and there. Some of the stories and statistics here make me worry, because of my own children. It seems that dating is more problematic than it was even 15 years ago and the future prospects are not favorable for young men.

CimZim · 2022-12-12T14:12:36+00:00

I'm 37F with a 52M. I've been in a casual relationship/monogamous FWB with him for 14 years. We're both childfree and clean, and he's vasectomized, so never been any pregnancy or STD scares in my life. It's not for everyone but imo it's the perfect relationship.

I also disagree with a lot of the stuff here, on various sides, which is why I'm a fence straddling egalitarian purple piller, lol. But it's fun to talk to people with different views and see how others think and feel about the same topics.

WalterYWH · 2022-12-12T15:02:00+00:00

I was successful with my two Ex wives, now in a new Relationship so short-term

SwimmingTheme3736 · 2022-12-12T15:53:08+00:00

Married, together 10 years 1 child together both had children when we met.

I have been married before

NaturalQueer · 2022-12-12T17:44:29+00:00

Married for almost 3.5 years, together for almost 5 years. No kids and currently plans to keep it that way. I am 28 and he is 35 we met in uni.

glamden · 2022-12-13T03:09:09+00:00

I’ve been married 2 years. I pretty much come here for the crazy takes and it provides me entertainment. Like my husband and I have never mentioned our number of past partners and have never given a shit about things like that. It’s also wierd to hear about people giving up on dating. I know no one like that even those who are thirty plus. My husband and I get along because we pretty much live our lives similarly esp the day to day. We just keep it simple

Fancy-Respect8729 · 2022-12-12T14:27:58+00:00

Datingover30 is full of simps, soyboys and Feminazis. Loserville.

InfoVariety-8842 · 2022-12-12T14:51:05+00:00

It just seems like the best place to get relationship advice would be from people who have successful relationships.

I don’t know that this is necessarily true. A LOT of people are in “successful” relationships because one partner is swallowing their pride or silently carrying the weight. And I find a lot of these people have thoughts about how they have some intuition or unique insight into relationships, when really they just happen to be married to someone who will take all of their shit.

Meanwhile I’ve gotten the most interesting perspectives from people who, for perhaps no fault of their own, were forced to leave a relationship that they may have really wanted to work. It forces you to have insight into your own faults and why you got into such a mess in the first place. Complacency never drives insight. Forced insight through external pressure is much more likely to get results.

glad0_ve0rgijev · 2022-12-12T14:33:02+00:00

I am not, but its often such a wild guess on which relationships are stable and good and which are not. For example, one of my close ex-friends found a gf 2 years ago that is pretty good looking I would say, they seem very happy on pictures, everything you can imagine out of a couple. Turns out, she is very manipulative and toxic and he has no spine but has money, so she uses him and controls him. Pretty sad all around but yeah, people are often unhappy and its rare to hear some good words.

DryOutcome3407 · 2022-12-12T17:24:59+00:00

You're comparing two demographics, most of peoples here saying they're in successful relationships are peoples in their 35~40 that never had to face the tinderpocalypse of dating.

The peoples over 30 cannot give a single usefully advice for peoples that started their dating lives in today decade.

GhostofCamus · 2022-12-12T14:04:51+00:00

Ever hear the phrase "call no man happy until he's dead"? Call no relationship successful until it's over.

HighestTierMaslow · 2022-12-12T19:23:18+00:00

I'm happily married. When I was in my twenties I had a lot of bad relationships and I was almost always the single one or about to be single. It's been very weird to go from that to "the most happily married" of my social circle of friends (their words). Married for 4 years together for almost 7. 1 kid trying for another. This forum is a dumpster fire subset of people. As someone who dated a lot my twenties I get a huge kick of all the men here that think men don't have any conditions for the women they want to date and/or get in a relationship with and how the average man settles, lol. Im 34 and still get hit on all the time...and just all the other topics that actually do not apply to real life at all. This place is like me reading an alien book as truth for fun before bed. I forget about it when I wake up.

SmarmyPapsmears · 2022-12-12T13:59:26+00:00

Met my wife at 23, married at 29 and I'm 35 now

UneastAji · 2022-12-12T15:14:00+00:00

I'm a dude, I started off as a loser, around 19-20 my success with women skyrocketed after some realization that I later would discover are considered red pill. I've been in my LTR for 13 years and 2 kids.

I'm rather bad looking and my improvement came from behavioral change only. Smh people don't listen to my advices much.

obviousredflag · 2022-12-12T15:37:50+00:00

It just seems like the best place to get relationship advice would be from people who have successful relationships.

No, not necessarily. I was in a 12 year relationship and i knew nothing about relationships, sex or dating. Now i am in a 2.5 year long relationship and i'd say i basically understand "everything" now.

purplish_possum · 2022-12-12T21:14:57+00:00

By that definition I've had two successful marriages and seven successful relationships.

Da_Famous_Anus · 2022-12-13T05:38:09+00:00

It blows my mind how people married with children come into dating discussions or places like this in the first place. Like why do you even fucking care? Tend to your own marriage and successful family. Why are you lurking for 'dating advice' in the first place as if that's at all relevant to your life? How bout you lurk on how to be the best parent forums or some shit? Have some sense.

Wide-eyed-Calico · 2022-12-12T16:03:44+00:00

I'm more of a lurker but my partner loves debating the horrible conclusions posted here so I'll chime in. We've been practicing ethical nonmonogamy and living together for 8 and a half years and practicing polyamory for just under 8 years.

I would love to add more to the discussions here but it feels like anything I have to add that's not echoing the heteronormative monogamous experience gets ignored

jonascf · 2022-12-12T16:46:14+00:00

Polyamorous, involved in two relationships.

First one going on it's 10th year now and the second one going on it's 5th.

SoldierExcelsior · 2022-12-12T16:56:18+00:00

No man is in a successful LTR.Women can get what they want from LTR's,attention and validation...Men want sex all the txting good mornings good nights all the video chats are on consequential...Better way to put it is if you have 🔵🔵LTR is a failure. Long Term should last no more than 3- months

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odd_cloud · 2022-12-12T14:07:34+00:00

I am, so what?

purplepillowed · 2022-12-12T14:16:11+00:00

I’m married with a child, together for over a decade.

Opening_Pattern_301 · 2022-12-12T15:07:21+00:00

If it counts, I like to see myself as a widower because although i wasnt married i did intend to marry her and would have done so in the future.

howdoiw0rkthisthing · 2022-12-12T15:07:26+00:00

Been with my husband for 6 years, married for 3

gymbro718nyc2 · 2022-12-12T15:17:02+00:00

I've been married for nearly 8 years and been with her for about 10.

Gravel_Roads · 2022-12-12T15:19:58+00:00

I've been with my LTR for 8 years, but we've known each other for over 20+ (we met as Freshman in highschool... and we're both almost 40 now.)

It's true that abundance mentality works. The more desperately one clings to a relationship, the more tedious and stressful the people in that relationship end up feeling for it.

So the key is to relax, enforce your boundaries in a constructive way, not take things personally, and always be looking for new memories, new experiences, new things to do together.

No matter how much you love someone, they can't produce all the new stimulation your brain needs to continue functioning properly. Nor can you be theirs. You both need things you do outside of your relationship as well as things inside your relationship that you do together.

This year, my partner and I went to a waterpark for the first time, we went to a butterfly conservatory for a wine tasting, we go for walks through a nearby sculpture garden, we go camping and vacationing... all of these things are part of what keeps our relationship so harmonious.

RomanDelvius · 2022-12-12T15:33:59+00:00

8 years unmarried going strong

Birb-brained · 2022-12-12T16:20:56+00:00

We’ve been together 14 years now - first met him when I was 20 and he was 18 (he’s 18 months younger than me) and we have a 10 year old son. I would say it’s been successful. I come here because I have a morbid curiosity about people that think things completely opposite to me.

literaryhogwartian · 2022-12-12T16:36:19+00:00

Happily married. Together over a decade

King-SAMO · 2022-12-12T16:42:05+00:00

I won’t consider my relationship to be either long term or successful until one of us delivers the others eulogy. Part marks if we split up but our kids are super successful and happy despite the broken home.

ZealousidealAd7191 · 2022-12-12T17:20:08+00:00

5 year relationship married for 3

Mr_Makak · 2022-12-12T17:25:29+00:00

Hi, great happy LTR here.

One-Ad811 · 2022-12-12T17:30:48+00:00

Like all my jobs that I wasn't qualified for and the degree from college that I definitely didn't honestly earn, the answer is cheating.

Lying and manipulating is how I get everything. To friends, family, lovers... the list goes on. No one wants to be the bad guy in their own head, but idc. I know I'm sociopathic, tho very non-violent.

Purple317 · 2022-12-12T17:38:51+00:00

Together for 13 years, married for 7. 2 kids together + his kids from his first marriage.

PuertoRock007 · 2022-12-12T17:48:32+00:00

Married with kid. I guess these subs are just to interesting to let go.

Mistress-Eve- · 2022-12-12T18:19:24+00:00

Been thinking this exact thing… the people with the most radical “unpopular opinion” views are the ones without any success in their dating history…

If you’re the bastion of cold hard truth how come it isn’t working for you?

HolyPipidastra · 2022-12-12T18:25:57+00:00

Been together for 4 years, engaged. We fought a lot at first but were stuck together as we were co-signers on the lease a couple months after we hit it off.

It’s good now, but we both had to grow up pretty quick if we didn’t want this cohabitation thing to turn into nightmare. Would recommend co-signing a lease to anyone who wants to try out an actual LTR

Administrative-Lie85 · 2022-12-12T18:46:46+00:00

LTR? 😂

I do not even have a single date to my name.

DisasterPeace7 · 2022-12-12T18:57:13+00:00

35 yo M

Married 8 years, 3 soon to be 4 kids, this sub as far as I'm concerned is for entertainment purposes only, if I can occasionally give some advice that will help young men, awesome, but I'm here for the laughs lol

medlabunicorn · 2022-12-12T18:57:45+00:00

Married three years together eight

Bikerbats · 2022-12-12T19:00:54+00:00

Married 31 years. I'd call that successful.

Iluvalmonds83 · 2022-12-12T20:48:34+00:00

Married for 16, together for 19years at this point. But I do realize in lurking this sub and many others that issues this generation has with finding relationships are influenced by factors wildly different from my era.

EulenWatcher · 2022-12-12T20:50:44+00:00

My husband and I have been together for more than 8 years now. We’ve gone through some shit and going through a suddenly relocation and leaving everything and everyone right now, because it wasn’t safe to stay in our home country. I’d say we have successful relationship, albeit stressful due to reasons outside of our control.

ArseOfValhalla · 2022-12-12T21:10:07+00:00

Well I was in a LTR but we divorced at year 15. I learned a lot because of that. I am in a new relationship and its lasted over 2 years. I bring a lot of baggage but also a lot of lessons and I feel like it really helps in this relationship. Takes a lot of work that I didnt really do in the first one. I let a lot of things slide (as I am sure he did as well). So my goal is to communicate more AND communicate better. It can be really hard though. It's definitely easier to give up.

RocinanteCoffee · 2022-12-12T21:19:27+00:00

I have been successful in it but I never sought it out. All my LTRs have ended because after years they changed their mind about something that was a dealbreaker for me. In one case, I had established even when we were dating casually that I was never going to want children or marriage. At the time they were enthusiastically on board with that (and for many years). They changed their mind.

In another situation they became sucked into New Age religiosity and MLM and other scams like crypto. This after years of not having any characteristics that would usually make them susceptible to these kind of scams they fell hard. In all other ways they were a great person but this kind of addiction where they are not seeking help is a dealbreaker.

Nihi1986 · 2022-12-12T21:40:24+00:00

I'm not in a succesful LTR. However, if you asked me some years ago I'd be in a succesful 10 years relationship and I'd have plenty of shitty advice...

Anyway, relationships are hard work and that's all.

daddysgotanew · 2022-12-12T22:42:32+00:00

Been in and out of them for years. Can get another if I want to. Dated every type of girl there is from high school drop out white trash to lawyers and an Ivy grad. Women are women though, you learn that the more of them you hang around. Relationships all mostly end up sucking in the end.

Trouvette · 2022-12-12T22:53:11+00:00

I am. Above all else, it took a lot of self-improvement. I’m talking years of therapy as well as bariatric surgery and physical therapy. You can’t be happy with someone else if you aren’t happy with yourself. Beyond that, it was about being honest with myself about what was actually important in a partner and keeping myself in check if I wasn’t be honest with myself about what I was feeling in the relationship or how I was relating to my partner.

WillfulGrapefruit · 2022-12-12T23:35:26+00:00

Together 18 years, married 14, mid-late 30s.

I feel awful for saying this, but I've never understood the "relationships take a lot of work" maxim. We just developed into really good communicators and grew together as we got older, rather than apart. We've had stressors in our lives, but that's been external to our relationship, never caused by it...and our relationship helped to hold us together during hard times, rather than being a liability.

Honestly, I think a lot of it was just luck and natural compatibility.

Diamond-Breath · 2022-12-13T00:06:35+00:00

I'm very happy and comfortable in my relationship, we argue very rarely.

EBZ1722 · 2022-12-13T01:20:47+00:00

I'm married and mid 20's, been with my wife for over 7 years now. Being a younger guy though I see how absolutely fucked the dating market has been for my friends.

Green-Quantity1032 · 2022-12-13T01:41:42+00:00

I've been in an LTR for 8.5, 1.5 married.

I got divorced cuz I wanted to have casual sex with random girls.

I've concluded that men shouldn't have a girlfriend of above 2 years under 30.

Or as Biden would say: "No serious guys 'till you're 30"

Willow-girl · 2022-12-13T03:59:02+00:00

Celebrated our 10th anniversary last month.

I would be lost in this world without him.

veloron2008 · 2022-12-13T04:50:09+00:00

I've been married 25 years to my wife, and we dated 5 years before tying the knot. We met through mutual friends back in college and actually started off as study partners. I was coming off a breakup so we started things slowly, with attraction and feelings building over time.

We've certainly had our moments, but I would definitely call our LTR a success. We're closer than ever now as fresh empty nesters at ages 52 and 50. There's nothing quite like having a special person you love with so much shared history, and who you get to embrace every single night. Life is good.

If I could turn back the clock, I wouldn't change a thing.

Ketamine-pigeon · 2022-12-13T05:01:10+00:00

I am, two years going strong!!

question5423 · 2022-12-13T05:06:14+00:00

I am in a relationship with my mistress for almost 3 years. We have 2 children.

Am I successful? Well. I want more mistresses.

Yes. I am happy. Sex is boring. But I love our children so much.

Fuck romance. She is a sugar baby. But we do care about each other.

BayleShira · 2022-12-13T09:00:35+00:00

Married 17 years.

It's been a long journey, and we've both grown and changed together. We barely survived conservative xtianity. We realized I'm queer, he's a narcissist, and now we're healing together and having the best sex ever as liberal Jews.

Hjelmert · 2022-12-14T22:11:14+00:00

Been together for 4.5 years, very happy, he's my best friend and lover. Can't imagine life without him. I'm very glad i found a well adjusted gentleman and didn't have to do modern dating.

Title	How many of y'all are actually in successful LTR?
Author	ImOnTheSquare
Upvotes	40
Comments	193
Date	December 12, 2022 1:48 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/zjzlr8/how_many_of_yall_are_actually_in_successful_ltr/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/how-many-of-yall-are-actually-in-successful-ltr.1144148 https://theredarchive.com/post/1144148

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