we should criticize deadbeat dads (to an extent) not single moms

Texan2116 · 2023-06-24T22:00:50+00:00

The issue is the deadbeat dad is not walking around or living with the evidence of this. Many blend in, and people around them are unaware. The single mom has no such luxury. She bears the full brunt of both the financial issues, and scorn of society.

HazyMemory7 · 2023-06-24T21:06:28+00:00

When do you ever see people defend them? They are called "deadbeat" fathers for a reason.

bootyhunter69420 · 2023-06-25T01:27:46+00:00

We still need to admit that some women be choosing the worst men to have kids with. Not all of these men are master manipulators. Some are exactly as advertised. There are unemployed men who do nothing but smoke all day with multiple baby mamas.

Safinated · 2023-06-24T20:12:34+00:00

We already criticize both

rhagaeas_executioner · 2023-06-24T21:21:45+00:00

Unfortunately, I feel like this almost never happens. Men regularly lie to women and encourage them to have babies when they have no intention of sticking around.

Why the hell would men encourage their baby mommas to keep it if they have no intention of sticking around? You do know that they'd be on the hook for child support right?

Preme2 · 2023-06-24T19:35:27+00:00

Society has always criticized deadbeat dads. Only more recently has society taken a look at the woman’s role and assigned an ounce of accountability for their selection of the deadbeat dad. With that ounce of accountability has come a tsunami of outrage where men are “sexist” and “misogynistic” for even thinking that a woman could be at some fault for the situation.

Lord-Beaky · 2023-06-25T01:04:16+00:00

We should criticize both in all honesty

Signal_Adeptness_724 · 2023-06-24T21:08:43+00:00

I mean, deadbeat dads are already criticized so not sure what your point is. The issue is that single moms are not held to similar standards of accountability. After all, they are the ones that choose a mate of low quality and subsequently choose to keep the child with said guys

Tricky_Relief_7152 · 2023-06-24T19:35:52+00:00

Whenever I hear single moms complaining about the "loser" father of their children, all I hear is "I let losers cum inside me."

So no, they chose these men and they get the outcomes that come with that choice.

Ass-a-holic · 2023-06-25T00:31:49+00:00

Single moms criticized? Lol that’s the funniest thing I’ve read in awhile.

They are glorified constantly

amber_day · 2023-06-24T21:35:13+00:00

It’s the same as how we berate women with “daddy issues” and not the father that gave her those issues 🙄

Environmental_Day558 · 2023-06-24T22:36:41+00:00

Unfortunately, I feel like this almost never happens

I disagree. I personally know one, has two kids by two guys. The first guy made it clear that he didn't want kids with her and if she went through with the pregnancy that he wouldn't stick around. Sure that makes him a deadbeat technically but he stuck to his word. The second guy is involved in the kids life (even the other kid that's not his), he also wanted to marry her but for personal reasons she didn't want to be in a relationship with him anymore.

Now I'm not denying some guys will pull a bait and switch, but I'm convinced the majority of the time the guy never wanted to be her child's father but she either ignored it or didn't care. And since they have the ability to carry the child to term or not, most of the onus is on them imo.

John_Oakman · 2023-06-24T19:21:12+00:00

Society already does, it's in the same. 'Deadbeat' is not a term of endearment or praise.

However most of the males who are motivated to call out deadbeat dads usually tend to be even lower on the totem pole then they are, so their intentions are suspect, and usually seen as ulterior.

Enough_Chemistry3258 · 2023-06-24T20:35:45+00:00

Like people dont already.

BLKSKNHED · 2023-06-24T19:57:36+00:00

"Hey you you deadbeat dad i will criticise you" the guy shrugs and goes back to minding his own business. into the sea of forgotten men who don't exist unless they're the antagonists of the average beckies life story.

The moral of the story is that deleting one form. if misogny wont suddenly tear away the other forms. You do know this place is just empty chat right?

AcrobaticRhubarb2147 · 2023-06-24T21:32:00+00:00

And men will do anything to get out of wearing a condom, anything

CursedLemon · 2023-06-24T22:32:28+00:00

Can't help but notice that nobody gets on dudes for "hopping in the sack with crazy bitches". That's never their moral failing or bad judgment, only the women. Funny how that works, women are supposed to be these Mensa-tier psychoanalysts but dudes can take their low-IQ asses from bed to bed, leave an absolute mess in their wake, and it's all gravy.

peteypete78 · 2023-06-24T19:39:15+00:00

Should do both.

BaadKitteh · 2023-06-24T22:37:23+00:00

💯💯💯

It's hilarious and infuriating by turns that we act like telling men they should be careful who they nut in is way too much to ask when that is the entire cause of 100% of unwanted pregnancies. Of course men can't be asked to police their own behavior! They're hardwired to spray that shit anywhere they can and are completely incapable of rising above their base level animal instincts.

At least, that's what they're saying when they blame women.

TSquaredRecovers · 2023-06-24T20:39:50+00:00

The hate that is directed toward single mothers is infuriating. I’m in a couple shitposting groups on FB that center on all the ways that single moms are terrible leeches, whores, and otherwise degenerate people. I remain a part of these groups out of morbid curiosity, and I am disgusted and appalled at the vitriol the women receive, while the dads are given every pass and excuse in the book.

FlexodusPrime · 2023-06-24T22:03:34+00:00

Some of them are deadbeats because the mother of their kids won't let them be in their lives

username0127 · 2023-06-24T23:32:22+00:00

The word deadbeat is literally a criticism...

Unfortunately, I feel like this almost never happens.

Not really a "cmv" if we're basing on what you see and taking it as evidence...

TheSongsInYourHead · 2023-06-24T21:21:54+00:00

Deadbeat dad's don't care about my criticism. The deadbeat dad doesn't want to raise the kid, he's doing what he can to avoid it. The shame means nothing to him.

If women want to avoid raising a kid on her own she needs to do what she can. Ideally she shouldn't have kids out of wedlock, but if that's impossible/undesirable, well at least avoiding men who already have children they aren't taking care of would be a start.

Watson_A_Name · 2023-06-24T21:26:48+00:00

Ever heard of a guy that has multiple children with multiple women and takes care of none of them? That means after the first woman, a bunch of other women realized he wasn't taking care of his kids, and still had a kid with him. Women aren't innocent in all this.

lwfstryc9 · 2023-06-25T01:14:56+00:00

I will say this. I knew one guy I worked with who continually went to jail for not paying the full amount of child support. You'd think he was a bad guy. He took home $1,100 a week, how could he not pay?? He showed me the court order. His total monthly maintenance/child support was $3,800 a month. That didn't include sports of doctor visits that he had to cover 100%

ThrowAwayHuman122333 · 2023-06-24T21:08:58+00:00

Single mom's can be criticized for their choices, which seem to be the deadbeat dads.

Also, a guy isn't a deadbeat dad if he refuses to have any contact with a psycho bitch that he impregnated. Sometimes that's the reason.

Active-Razzmatazz-86 · 2023-06-24T20:36:51+00:00

Women here say they save six senses which can detect such type of men and hence they reject these men but on other hand they keep getting pregnant by dead beat men.Somethinh ain't mathing .Women are criticised bcz they claim they vet better whereas they don't

weedbeater110207 · 2023-06-25T00:27:41+00:00

I’ve never heard criticism to single mothets

Mr_Chad_Thunderpenis · 2023-06-24T19:54:17+00:00

Deadbeat dads don't get praised and never have been praised. That being said, the blame can't be asigned equally here.

Women are the gatekeepers of sex, they choose if and when sex happens, and without sex there will be no children. They also have a variety of options available to them to minimize the consequences. Staying celibate, condoms, pill, abortion, adoption. Tons of safety nets available. And if they really want to have kids, they can choose to actually marry the man before fucking the guy. They can also choose to marry a man with at least some money and decent character who will be less likely to leave them and even if he does, at least he can afford to pay, since the laws are in favor of women when it comes to that.

stats135 · 2023-06-24T20:24:19+00:00

~~Men regularly lie to women~~ Women regularly go for men that lie to them.

FTFY.

Men have the issue too, its just coming from a different place. In both cases its founded on stupidity, but with women it is mixed with delusion, and with men desperation.

Women too often believe their high standards are reasonable. If a person only applies to jobs advertised with million+ dollar salaries and employed by a Nigerian Prince or Sultan of Brunei, It is hard to feel pity for them when they tell me they got scammed. Similarly when women tell me they only have sex with Chads that promise the treat them like queens forever, and it turns out they are deadbeat assholes I can only laugh.

For men often it is that their need for sex is so great that they just latch on to whatever pussy they can get. The next thing you know they are married and divorced paying alimony and (at least in his mind) because he couldn't have done any better.

Pale-Fish-8599 · 2023-06-24T20:35:40+00:00

Should we criticize the women who select the deadbeat dads?

v1cgt · 2023-06-24T22:01:43+00:00

It's women fault for getting with those guys , dead beats are bums but women love the bad boys

RedBullfrog · 2023-06-25T00:39:56+00:00

Take away the child support and see how many single moms there will be.

KamuiObito · 2023-06-24T20:34:13+00:00

Man just dont fuck shityy men omfg we lowkey have to hold womens hands through relationships stp..women deadass suck at picking good men and incentivize men to be good..if a player cna get pussy there no point or reward for treating a women good..if a man can literally shit on multiple women whats the incentive..men love sex and wont stop unless sex is unavailable..its womens fault..men arent never not gonna get criticized for being deadbeats but i bet thera a women somehwre still giving h good pussy and head everyday rewarding that behavior cuz women dont gaf about shit like that unless it’s happening to them personally…women are the problem..they deadass fuck the wrong ppl..thats the simplest way yo put it..these women be having over 5 options keep that jn mind ..

Far_Significance2023 · 2023-06-24T22:51:36+00:00

Society has been very harsh to dads that abandon children, even in pre-modern times and religious governments. The issue is that society tries to sell single moms as just something that is OK, but it isn't. It is terrible, a burden to the mother, a burden to the child and a burden to the state.

Most Single moms have these patterns:

They fuck men that already have other children. Obviously the man will pick another family and not be able to be there.
Single mothers often have sex without any guarantee of commitment, with no birth control.
Lots of single moms use children as weapons of revenge against the fathers, or trying to baby trap them.

JumboJetz · 2023-06-24T20:21:05+00:00

I agree Deadbeat dads need to be shamed. The issue is it’s hard to tell who is a deadbeat dad. They don’t carry signs. For all I know the nice male cashier who checked me out and smiled at me today was a deadbeat dad. Really have no way of knowing.

But in general yes - let’s collectively as a society shame Deadbeat dads I truly think they are the lowest of the low.

Buildinsilence · 2023-06-25T05:08:51+00:00

This is why monogamy was culturally enforced via marriage for so long

It’s not so “men can control women”

It’s so men and women can be adults and raise children properly

You want to solve the dead beat dad problem? Stop being so easy that even a dead beat can cum in you

Eschew_Sloth-232 · 2023-06-24T22:50:41+00:00

The vast majority of men don't get to mate, so the question is why are women picking these men. What happened to the the super intuition that allows women to immediately know if a man is toxic or trash. They seem to be able to instantly figure out the apparently horrible intentions of unattractive men, thus never giving them a chance. Yet, this intuition doesn't work with the attractive men who actually end up impregnating them, do you not see how silly this sounds, you must step out of your solipsistic bubble.

StupidWhiteBoi · 2023-06-24T20:46:37+00:00

[CYV]

Disagree. Women have choice, they can make decisions, and they can use their brains. They choose to be with losers. That's on them!

Also consider that women get hit on by men from all races, socioeconomic statuses, and backgrounds.

Reminder that only 30% of women are currently single (meaning their tired of being pumped and dumped, by men they chose)

and 60% of men are single due to the fact that they need more muscles and money, as women only care about that (inb4 personality, he needs the looks before she even gives him the time of the day)

TLDR: Women in America on AVERAGE (key word: Average) don't like accountability and will choose bad men.

Practicing_Raccoon · 2023-06-24T20:37:56+00:00

Shaming and criticizing groups of people has never worked and will never work. Instead, people should focus on discussing what we can do to prevent these situations, like making sure young men and women have good mental health support and strong communities, voting to improve sex-ed, making sure abortion is accessible, including family-planning in school curriculums in more vulnerable areas, etc.

I've also worked in family courts and the root issue is often some combination of poverty and childhood abuse/neglect that leads to unwanted single parenthood. Breaking the cycle has less to do with shaming and judging and more to do with wealth inequality, trauma, being overall failed by community and society. These men just don't care—they shouldn't be shamed, they need help that no one wants to pay for.

No young boy is born wanting to be a deadbeat dad. It's usually a shitty life that led to that, an upbringing without empathy, poverty, lack of role-models, some combination of that. While there are always exceptions, the rates would drastically fall if we went after income inequality, worker's rights, housing costs, daycare costs, quality of education, etc.

Deadbeat dads rarely come from nice, stable middle class homes with loving parents and big supportive families.

keenenandraz · 2023-06-24T22:10:10+00:00

Women get criticized because it's their body, their choice, their responsibility. The men in these situations don't have conception rights. Only the mother gets to decide if child is born, so it makes more sense to focus on making sure they're the ones making the right decision.

"Marry before you carry" would solve the vast majority of this problem.

RedBullfrog · 2023-06-25T00:54:42+00:00

The misandry is strong in this one

Scandi_Navy · 2023-06-24T22:24:10+00:00

Here's an idea. How about you give them the kids 50% of the time? That way they are not deadbeats. But if women wanted that, men would not have to fight for real time with their kids in family court. Women don't need courts to make 50/50 arrangements. So all those many court cases you can find on the docket are women who want the kids more. And what a coincidence, that also corresponds to them getting more money.

And no according to statistics women leave men 80% of the time. And a whopping 90% if they are educated. So more education means women are more likely to leave.

Also women tend to "date up" socioeconomically. Meaning those men were doing better than them. So this fantasy you have about loser men just doesn't match reality.

The men that get ordered to pay their ex the maximum for raising kids full time, yeah don't expect their help. You are their nanny, by your own choice.

pandenubes · 2023-06-25T02:32:21+00:00

I think what fuels the constant hatred towards single mothers, is the fact that a lot of guys often assume women are fully responsible for their predicament.

Women are usually seen as the “choosers” and men the “beggars.” A lot of resentful guys might see a single mother and think, “it’s all HER fault, she’s the one who chose the WRONG guy.”

In other words, the lack of emotional maturity can lead people to be unreasonably hateful towards others?

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basedmama21 · 2023-06-24T22:38:06+00:00

Why did the mom choose to have children with a deadbeat? Why didn’t she wait to get pregnant until she was married to a quality man?

Women control reproduction. Therefore it is our responsibility not to fail our future children by having them with men who are not serious.

ThorLives · 2023-06-24T22:40:58+00:00

Yes, we criticize deadbeat dads. The problem is that, on some level, deadbeat dads are getting what they want: they have kids but none of the responsibility or financial burden. So, criticizing them doesn't have that much of an effect, so additional means are needed. It's like criticizing a con man. Yeah, they deserve criticism, but plenty of con men are like "your criticism doesn't hurt because I have a pile of stolen money, and I'd rather have money and criticism than neither of them". Part of the solution to the con man problem is: punishment for being a con man (i.e. the state needs to make deadbeat dads pay up) and the other side is stopping people from falling for their scams. Criticizing people who fall for scams - especially obvious scams - is part of the solution. By the same token, criticizing women who fall for obvious scumbags is part of the solution.

It's like calling out people for being enablers for alcoholics. Yeah, the alcoholic is the person ruining their (and other people's) lives. Enablers are trying to avoid criticism, but we can still criticize the enablers for their behavior even if the alcoholic is the primary problem here.

CLyD3_H3ffalump · 2023-06-24T22:53:46+00:00

I mean, they're already referred to as deadbeats, ctiticizing them from the getgo of taking about em'. Also, negative character trait typically associated with deadbeats, is that they don't particularly care what people think, which is why they take action to things that get them called deadbeats. So, we have a population of people doing pretty shitty things and have no sense of shame that can be used to influence their actions; I say we lock em' up so we have fewer people doing said actions, but then we're circling to the territory of the current prison population problem, obligatory talking about the U.S.

ZealousidealAd7191 · 2023-06-24T23:37:35+00:00

Bullshit…if you don’t know WHO the man is and what his intentions are then you especially shouldn’t have his baby.

Usually these men already have children they aren’t taking care of. Why would he be different and take care of YOUR child?

Pussy-is-queen · 2023-06-25T00:15:39+00:00

Single moms are glorified as the ideal of society

Pacman124 · 2023-06-25T01:08:09+00:00

Women are the gatekeepers in the sexual market. Deadbeat dads are deadbeat dads because a woman selected them.

karmakiller3001 · 2023-06-25T01:30:22+00:00

There's a reason that we (some...most) don't. If you don't know that reason, you probably don't want to hear or accept it anyway.

bsberbdjsk · 2023-06-25T01:47:10+00:00

My dad was there my whole childhood and was married to my mom living with us and supported us. But he never spent any time with me, any events or trips that we went on was only ever with my mother because he was “too busy” but it was blatantly obvious he just never had any interest in spending time with us.

We did have some activities we did together but only ever on his terms as long as it was something he liked and he never made any effort to show any interest in my life or interests. To this day he’s against me becoming a pilot and doesn’t have a clue about anything thats going on my life or studies despite being there during every conversation I’ve had with my mother and me trying to talk to him about it. I consider him a deadbeat dad and he’s seriously fucked up my mental health because its one thing to never meet your dad and even know him but to see him regularly and see him actively show no interest or care for you is another thing even going as far as making my mom pay for all my schooling while shes only a nurse and he’s a successful business owner. Fuck him.

Atomic_Thr0away · 2023-06-25T01:51:26+00:00

Hummmm... gee... I wonder... now this might sound kinda crazy... but imagine if there was this thing that could legally bind people together. Ya know, both people could agree to it and then announce it in front of all their friends and family and sign this legal document that basically says "I'm not going anywhere and neither can you" so that there's no way someone can be like "he wanted me to have a kid and said he'd stick around, he's a deadbeat liar"...

Oh wait, there is, it's called marriage. OMG, what a concept.

If he says "I'll be with you forever baby, let's have a kid" well, maybe she says "Well, let's get married first"

Hell, some women used to insist on marriage even before having sex. Crazy sounding I know. But hey, maybe get the whole marriage thing sorted out before having babies. That would be a good idea.

And don't... just don't come back to this with "what about unplanned pregnancies" because that was not the premise of your post which was "men manipulate women into having kids and then leave" oh, and let's not even talk about the women that have sex and want to get pregnant so he'll stay or that she'll at least have a way of keeping him attached to her for a very long time. But that doesn't happen eh? /s

purplish_possum · 2023-06-25T01:51:30+00:00

Lot's of dad's face insurmountable obstacles when attempting to see their kids. I spend over $15K every year to make sure I see my kids often. I'm fortunate that I can afford this expense. Many dads couldn't.

q_dice · 2023-06-25T01:54:59+00:00

I feel like this is entirely a new phenomenon. Throughout my childhood I heard nothing demonizing single mothers, for either making bad choices or for having a baby. I heard a lot, I'm black so growing up watched a lot of black comedians, of jokes about deadbeat dads. The only time I saw it more balanced out is by women.

This whole thing about bashing single mom's feels entirely this generation’s niche and feels like red pill or whichever it is leaking over with cries of women never taking responsibility.

ThanosSnapsSlimJims · 2023-06-25T03:37:57+00:00

Why can't I criticize both at the same time?

wwwArchitect · 2023-06-25T04:10:48+00:00

Agreed, the deadbeat dad is a complete loser. I don’t think mainstream society disputes this. The problem is most single moms are ALSO losers. And mainstream society glorifies them.

They picked really crappy guys to mate with. Half of them didn’t bother getting married. Another significant chunk couldn’t even get child support because the dude is unemployed or works under the table. Can we all just agree that widowed mothers and some divorced mothers are not even in the same category as the huge class of broken women who purposely chase tattooed baby daddies?

RedPill115 · 2023-06-25T04:44:42+00:00

Men regularly lie to women and encourage them to have babies when they have no intention of sticking around.

You can tell this is an absurdity post right here.

People in the US - where you have genetic testing - and child support - are not doing this. The system was changed in a way that economically strangles anyone who gets even close to doing this - like 50 years ago? A long time ago today.

moldovan0731 · 2023-06-25T06:04:02+00:00

Why not both?/Both. Both is good.

BigBoysRules · 2023-06-25T06:56:27+00:00

The Deadbeat Dad ‘crisis’ is a fiction created by the modern day feminist movement. And it’s racist in its origins.

There are undoubtedly shitty humans out there who don’t want to look after their offspring. But when it comes to fathers who don’t pay, the majority don’t pay due to inability… loss of jobs, incarceration… these genuine reasons are attributed to malice, rather than reality. And the child support system deliberately makes no allowance for this.

The real crime is that the child support system is systemically sexist in the mother’s favour. A woman can choose not to have a child. A man can’t. A woman can trick a man into getting her pregnant… and then he has to pay for her lies for the next 18 years. And let’s not forget that the money owed has nothing to do with ‘actual’ child support and everything to do with maintaining a woman’s lifestyle.

Custody is automatically given to women, despite the overwhelming evidence that being brought up in a single parent, female lead household is a major predictor of delinquency, criminality and sexual misconduct for those unfortunate children in later life.

And that’s before we get to the issue of women deliberately withholding child access as a tool to abuse the father. This is just one of many ways that female spite damages society.

In the UK, failed social policies guaranteeing a house for a single mother and her child have seen a rise in young women getting a place of their own through procreation. Make the system fair and watch the rate of single parent families plummet. Compulsory paternity tests on birth and allowing men to financially abort would create a truly equal society.

Isn’t it strange how the harpies who scream for sexual equality aren’t interested in making child care equal… it’s almost as if equality isn’t the aim.

Dry_Personality7194 · 2023-06-25T07:29:07+00:00

Holy shit the strawmen in this post. You feel like this never happens? Any sources, facts?

Title	we should criticize deadbeat dads (to an extent) not single moms
Author	10throwawayantsy
Upvotes	78
Comments	492
Date	June 24, 2023 7:19 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/14i14t4/we_should_criticize_deadbeat_dads_to_an_extent/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/we-should-criticize-deadbeat-dads-to-an-extent-not.1223370 https://theredarchive.com/post/1223370

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