Why is it so hard for taken women to ignore other men who show interest in her?

TotalTravesty · 2024-01-07T17:45:53+00:00

One time a girl reacted heart eyes to my story (she was the type to message EVERY guy). She had a boyfriend and I told her please never send me stuff like that again, you have a boyfriend, have some shame. And she told her boyfriend and he said "Bro it's not a big deal" -_-

Huge does not compute. So you know she’s the friendly/interactive type and you got mad at her for…being the friendly interactive type? And you had the balls to admonish her for doing you the favor of reacting to your funkyass insta story? That you took as “interest”? And this is all because she doesn’t know your personal hangup about how taken women socialize?

If it were any other sub I’d think you were trolling.

One_Arm4148 · 2024-01-07T17:25:15+00:00

It’s not hard at all. I respectfully reject advances all the time while being single. I’m far more strict when I’m in a relationship, straight tunnel vision. I have no problem letting it be known that I’m taken and there’s no chance. I’ll tell my man everything when it comes to other men. If I was approached, hit on or made to feel uncomfortable. This has more to do with morals, the kind of woman she is. Basically make sure your standards are high so you don’t have this issue with women.

januaryphilosopher · 2024-01-07T18:22:45+00:00

It generally isn't. Most women aren't getting these messages and those that do generally ignore them. You're focusing on a small subset that confirms what you want to believe.

richard_golbes · 2024-01-07T17:34:34+00:00

These "why do all women do this" posts are always a fascinating look into the bizarre experiences of the individual making these generalizations.

TheAvocadoSlayer · 2024-01-07T18:47:26+00:00

Why does it seem like every guy on here only knows instahoes?

The-Loop · 2024-01-07T18:24:14+00:00

The vast majority of women absolutely do not engage men who “slide in the dms.”

UpbeatInsurance5358 · 2024-01-07T17:42:44+00:00

Why is it so hard for men to stop hitting on women?

apresonly · 2024-01-07T17:54:39+00:00

It's not. you're talking about shitty/emotionally immature women.

It's not hard for a woman to do this and you should vet for it.

Pristine-Can3719 · 2024-01-07T17:14:31+00:00

If woman is acting like this and you are uncomfortable,just leave her and enjoy your life bro

Safinated · 2024-01-07T17:20:46+00:00

If that were true, men wouldn’t complain of deafening silence when they try to get laid

NJFlowerchild · 2024-01-07T17:44:01+00:00

Just please simply answer me, why?

She wanted to do that. There's your answer.

obviousredflag · 2024-01-07T17:33:43+00:00

Because ITS NOT A BIG DEAL!

How insecure can you get? Attention & sexual stimulation, men and women get it from all kinds of sources that are not limited to their partner.

EulenWatcher · 2024-01-07T18:16:48+00:00

A lot of women do, you just don’t notice them because you don’t get to interact much. A lot of women have private social pages or closed DMs to start with. Most do not reply to DMs from strangers. But you wouldn’t know them because either you aren’t strangers and you’re friends or she just ignores your DMs.

ej_theraider · 2024-01-08T08:07:08+00:00

It's funny some of the girls here are saying there's nothing wrong with commenting "😍" on other guy's posts when you have a man.

Reverse the roles...I know FOR A FACT if y'all bf were to comment "😍" on random women's post y'all would cut a damn fool.

So I find it disingenuous for you to claim that stuff is ok (WHILE IN A RELATIONSHIP) knowing FULL WELL you would put on a whole circus if YOUR man did it.

flipsidetroll · 2024-01-07T17:34:21+00:00

Why? Because it isn’t true of all women. Why keep believing all women do this ? Answer me that. Your experience doesn’t make all reality. Another man with an agenda , who uses this story, doesn’t make it reality.

So the question should be …. Why do you blindly believe people on the internet?

SwimmingTheme3736 · 2024-01-07T18:35:55+00:00

Lots of women don’t talk to other men and we ignore anyone sliding into our dms

SteveSan82 · 2024-01-08T05:44:55+00:00

Female +Hypergamy + attention = cheating

qunamax · 2024-01-08T17:46:58+00:00

Because they like the attention and their man is weak and allows that kind of behaviour. Just like that dude that told you it's not a big deal. It will be a big deal when she eventually jumps trains.

ThrowRAHead_508 · 2024-01-07T17:36:25+00:00

I think this is strange because, as a woman, I have this same question for men.

Personally, I don't entertain anyone besides my man and if I think they're SCARY or DANGEROUS my man is the first one to know and he can handle that if he chooses too. I don't think there's any excuse, the block button is a hell of a lot easier than a full conversation and everyone has the ability to leave someone on read.

ConanTheCybrarian · 2024-01-07T17:56:06+00:00

Could be lots of things: wants followers, wants attention, isn't in a monogamous relationship, is in a secure enough relationship that it doesn't impact her connection with her partner, was raised to think this is how she has to relate to men.

But the most likely reason is one I know men can sometimes find challenging to hear: because she is being nice and treating you like a human being.

Not every interaction for a woman is about mating.

Not every time a woman speaks to you is flirting.

You choosing to frame the interaction in that way is your choice and has no bearing on what her actual intention was.

Heart eyes, for example, mean "I love what I'm seeing" and that is neither gendered, nor sexual in nature. Your personal decision to take it that way is your responsibility, not hers.

Acaciduh · 2024-01-07T17:16:33+00:00

It’s not hard at all. If it’s DM’s it’s quite easy, ignore, block, or report. IRL I just say I’m taken and 99% of the time they’ll leave you alone.

SmilesRHere · 2024-01-07T19:13:13+00:00

Why is it so hard for some guys to not make a big deal of the most basic things?

She was just reacting with an emoji, not sending you a damn love letter, she was not showing interest, she was definitely not hitting on you or anything of the kind and you interpreted as attraction, lust or whatever for you???

They’re probably still laughing about you.

concretecannonball · 2024-01-07T17:59:50+00:00

It’s not. What proof do you have that enough women do this that you feel confident making this generalization?

SnooMarzipans6929 · 2024-01-07T18:19:42+00:00

It's literally not. I just block them pretty much instantly if online, if in person I remove myself from the situation right away.

If this is happening to you you have a shitty partner.

KayRay1994 · 2024-01-07T18:45:58+00:00

I think the one thing worth remembering is a lot of behavior women engage in with each other and even men is just for the fun of it, ie. heart reacts to your photo, there are a hundred other explanations one could come up with other than “bro she wants me” - now, could be that she’s responding to DMs out of courtesy, conversation, and it all could be entirely meaningless and non sexual to her. Of course, there are women who do this for attention or to mess around with guys, but this probably shouldn’t be your go-to thought.

Then again I do get the sense that so much of this is projection, lots of guys act this way even in a relationship for the sake of maybe getting a sexual interaction with her - and because that’s what the guy is thinking it therefore MUST mean that the girl is thinking the same thing. I find that lots of men struggle with the idea of a compliment, or even a flirty comment being done just for the hell of it.

Realistic-Ad-1023 · 2024-01-07T19:27:54+00:00

Bro, I say this with sincerity for your health, your future relationships, and those around you: get therapy. You’re being so toxic it’s upsetting that someone actually feels this way. “Micro cheating” isn’t a thing. Emotional affairs are a thing. Looking at someone, is not cheating. Being friends with someone of the opposite gender, is not cheating. You feel you were cheated on because of these very rigid and strict rules you have made up to control the women you are with. That is a you problem. And it needs to be dealt with. I do not want you to go through life jealous, angry, hostile and abusive. Seek help.

ItIsnt0verYet · 2024-01-07T18:28:20+00:00

I had an ex that told me he accused his exgf of being more attracted to an actor because she was watching a commercial they were in. This feels like that. Deeply insecure.

If her looking at someone stresses you out, you probably shouldn't be dating. "😍" isn't flirting. It's an emoji that can be taken a hundred different ways.

gunmacc · 2024-01-07T17:13:52+00:00

The temptation to upgrade is too big for them.

CBreann913 · 2024-01-07T20:52:36+00:00

Because those women don't wanna be kept women

Instantly, the song "Attention" by Doja Cat started playing in my head upon reading this post. That's your answer.

Guys slide into my DMs all the time but I don't entertain none of it because their attraction to me is all physical, n no substance.

A woman who truly values her bf/husband will only have eyes for him, no matter the number of guys who try to entertain her, period.

SupposedlySapiens · 2024-01-07T17:15:43+00:00

Attention can be addicting for humans

campskills21 · 2024-01-07T19:10:28+00:00

It's much easier for desirable guys to stop sleeping with women and go with one girl he really enjoys. The reason is, there's no benefit to keep sleeping around other than to feed your ego for a man. A desirable man's ego has already been fulfilled by the dozens or hundreds of hot girls he's been with easily and can continue anytime he wants. Also, girls don't improve lifestyle in almost all cases, men do.

The choice becomes more difficult for modern hot girls on instagram. If you've tried dating them they go kicking and screaming into a relationship, and the moment they are unhappy will go back to the streets behind your back. Here's why:

There's always a man that can greatly improve her lifestyle from where she's at. She could be currently dating a plastic surgeon living in a multi-million dollar home, doesn't matter he's boring and works a lot. She knows guys with yachts that have great parties that might dm her for a trip to monaco and might instantly marry her. (Hot girls seriously live these fantasies in their head)
There's always fun single girl lifestyle parties and events to go to that guys will invite her or one of her friends to. She wants to party in the limelight in a mansion with her friends or at the hottest club, being with you day to day gets boring. Also if she's especially hot she may get money sent to her just to show up.
She's in competition with other girls she knows. There's always some girl she knows luxury shopping everyday, constantly vacationing, or always at the coolest parties. If her friend is getting her boobs paid for and she's not, she's upset and feels like she needs a better man.
Girls need to feed their ego too. They know they aren't as pretty as the facetuned selfies and group photos they are in. They need a hot or rich guy to validate them. If they land the 6'3" hot muscled guy with a huge D (that has vd and already been with a thousand women), she will still brag about it to her friends endlessly. If you've ever been in a room with hot girls 80% of what they talk about is hot and rich men and how much their current one sucks.
Technology made it seem so close to achieving the Kardashian life of a burkin bag and flying private. If you're a 8+/10 they've all been with the richest, hottest, most desirable men in their city. They want the guy who is having the most fun, they do not care that he's been with 100s of women already, they think they will be the one and have everything in life taken care of for them. Unfortunately, it's highly likely never to work out, but they keep trying.

The problem is for these hot women it is all of this is fleeting and is more like a curse. It will generally only last for 5 years getting all of this attention from every single desirable man in your city. You will be left with nothing, never worked towards anything besides sleeping around, and end up losing your looks with nothing to show for it.

kochIndustriesRussia · 2024-01-07T17:23:38+00:00

It's not hard for non-ho3s.... just hard for ho3s.....

Salt_Mathematician24 · 2024-01-07T18:46:04+00:00

There's so many answers to this question:

She could have known them a while.

She could just be trying to be nice.

She could feel bad for them.

She could be trying to spread positivity.

She could be interested in whatever topic they wanted to discuss or have posted about.

She could be young/insecure and thrive on the attention.

She could be naive to their intentions.

They could not have the intentions you believe they do.

She could genuinely want to be friends.

She could have been socialized to respect men to the point she feels uncomfortable blocking or ignoring.

There could be SO MANY reasons. But, you know what? None of them truly matter if you genuinely trust the person. If you feel on edge constantly then it's either a bad relationship or you're not yet mature enough for the commitment. /end.

avpd_girl · 2024-01-07T19:39:33+00:00

Is this person a friend of yours? She might just want to be supportive of you. If send that emoji to people before, didn’t mean I was in love with them lol.

nofaplove-it · 2024-01-07T20:23:37+00:00

They like the attention

GermanHammer · 2024-01-08T02:49:23+00:00

I love how it's all or nothing in this subreddit or it's people making broad generalizations about anything and everything based on their singular experience.

Lost-Wish1279 · 2024-01-07T17:20:30+00:00

Because women live life on easy mode and are entitled. None of them know what actual loneliness is and are actually single.

Spyro7x3 · 2024-01-07T19:24:28+00:00

Because the union of man and woman is a holy one ordained by God. The more you secularize it and liberalize it the more women will lean on their instincts and a "boy friend" ain't shit but a wallet in the wild thats the truth and nothing but the truth a boyfriend is a fool that a woman owes nothing.

theReaders · 2024-01-08T01:08:40+00:00

Heart eyes are literally nothing, especially if her own boyfriend has no issues. Please be normal

Careful_Medium9456 · 2024-01-07T17:49:41+00:00

They would rather hurt the other mans feelings than their boyfriend. Sometimes it’s because women don’t like the men they date

Haunting_Afternoon62 · 2024-01-08T09:08:49+00:00

Idk I was always a friendly person and males thought it meant interest. And then there's flirting but still not "doing anything" and it's honestly just out of boredom.

SillyMushroomTip · 2024-01-07T17:39:13+00:00

Because they're attention hoes.

Controversial but I can't take any girl serious when shes on insta/twitter/snap/threads/ etc

MistyMaisel · 2024-01-08T01:10:54+00:00

A: for a lot of men they trust us as capable of speaking to other men platonically.

I'm not saying you've never dated someone seriously, but if you haven't, I don't know how to communicate to you that talking to random dudes in a friendly manner is not cheating and isn't entertaining a relationship with them or anything. It's literally the same as me talking to you here. It's just good spirited friendliness and no secure boyfriend is threatened by this.

B: if we didn't talk to men who wanted us, that would mean only talking to women or our relatives. It's just not reasonable or sustainable and no boyfriend who is reasonable or not hideously controlling asks for this. He asks that you be faithful to him (which means adhering to the reasonable boundaries you both agree to as a couple).

Him liking me doesn't mean I like him and unless I think he's suffering because of our interactions, I'd rather keep talking and wait for him to inevitably get over it so I can know more cool people to talk to.

C: I heart eyes lots of stories of friends or people doing cool shit. Support cool shit. It's not flirting to anyone normal.

Wrong_Equivalent7365 · 2024-01-08T10:20:02+00:00

Seems the world is just riddled with confused, ineffectual, low testosterone bleating little twerps these days. Get over your sad, busy little selves and find your balls, brains whatever you’re missing and play the game of life. Leave your UNO cards, light sabres, Pokémon’s and Hello Kitty shit at home and play the game if life. You might win, you might lose. That’s the game of life. It’s shameful to be obsessing over this puerile drivel. Christ Almighty. What happened to you little man bitches? Is it the soy? It’s the soy. Gotta be.

thxmeatcat · 2024-01-08T12:15:15+00:00

Any mate that assumes women do this 50% of the time tells me what i need to know about your SO.

Most women don’t respond to DM sliding

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obviously_anecdotal · 2024-01-07T23:19:25+00:00

It's easy if he's unattractive.

No-Click9406 · 2024-01-08T04:57:21+00:00

most women where I live don't even use instagram... hell they don't use any social media except for facebook. I think I might live in the backwoods or something.

Planthoe30 · 2024-01-08T07:03:17+00:00

I am not an influencer or anything so it’s not my job to entertain people so I am speaking from the perspective of just some regular woman. If someone DM’s me questions about some thing I posted I’ll answer their questions obviously as long as it’s appropriate but I think if you are entertaining people who are expressing obvious romantic interests that is not only selfish to your partner but to the person interested in you. It is also an indication that they aren’t really happy in the relationship. If I know someone likes me I don’t lead them on, so I would stop responding.

It’s not hard to ignore messages, I think if someone says they are responding to messages on social media out of “fear” that is likely bull shit. You are not in immediate danger if you simply don’t respond online that is actually probably your safest option if you are worried about stalkers is to not give these people attention in the first place. If someone told me that I’d think they were full of crap or a dumbass.

Gunna be honest I don’t think her responding with an emoji is a big deal though that is honestly kinda a low effort response but I guess I don’t know if she was every flirty or made you uncomfortable outside of that so I can’t say for sure.

fakingandnotmakingit · 2024-01-08T23:17:47+00:00

Lmao. I just heart react all the stories that show up on my Instagram feed

Obviously that makes me a disloyal hoe

Title	Why is it so hard for taken women to ignore other men who show interest in her?
Author	Consistent-Gur6932
Upvotes	0
Comments	419
Date	January 7, 2024 5:07 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/190wslj/why_is_it_so_hard_for_taken_women_to_ignore_other/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/why-is-it-so-hard-for-taken-women-to-ignore-other.1242462 https://theredarchive.com/post/1242462

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