Most of unrealistic beauty standards are imposed on women by other women

Glass-Violinist-8352 · 2024-07-23T11:47:35+00:00

Also by gay stylists lol

Aafan_Barbarro · 2024-07-23T11:26:49+00:00

The good example of this is the lead actress from The Boys TV show who had some bad face surgery. There is no way men demand this from women, yet still get the blame.

demedermidimi · 2024-07-23T10:47:34+00:00

man: "hey, I just wanna say most guys don't care about latest XYZ beauty trend"

they care about women being attractive and reward women who are attractive. fashion and makeup play a very large role in women's attractiveness. the difference between a meh cute woman and hot woman is often how dolled up they are

also women: "WE. ARE. NOT. DOING. IT. FOR. YOU."

i understand women who say that but ultimately it's stupid. if i was on a deserted island i would never do my hair and makeup, or dress nicely. i do it because i want society, which includes both men and women, to see me as attractive

G0dZylla · 2024-07-23T12:17:01+00:00

The funny thing women's beatuty standards are not men's requirement but a preference. tons of men like women with big boobs but don't reject all the other women with smaller boobs. Women mistake men's preference as men's standards, if you are not fat , have some attractive features (90% of women have at least one attractive feature between face, ass and tits) and have a great personality you won't find trouble attracting men. attractive men are the only ones who (rightfully) have much higher standards, so when women fail to get a reationship with them they blame it on the "unachievable beauty standards" and bash on average men, literal textbook example of apex fallacy.

gregdaweson7 · 2024-07-23T11:16:08+00:00

Thigh gap was invented by women and gay men, 99% of str8 men want thick thighs they can drown in.

pdoherty972 · 2024-07-23T15:46:19+00:00

Most of unrealistic beauty standards are imposed on women by other women

Hot take: Most unrealistic appearance standards for both men and women are imposed by women

trilobright · 2024-07-23T13:44:14+00:00

Unpopular truth. Straight men have a wide variety of tastes, and it's incredibly easy to find a guy who's into women who are some combination of chubby/fat, flat chested, short, etc. It's other women who will judge you for going out in public with a slightly passé nail polish colour.

f_lachowski · 2024-07-23T11:32:35+00:00

This is a classic case of Schrodinger's feminist: a woman is simultaneously an oppressed victim and empowered kween until something happens, at which point she chooses which is more convenient for the situation.

No-Consequence-6513 · 2024-07-23T11:52:43+00:00

I have different question. Why beauty standards set for women always "unrealistic" and problematic? Do men owe women something? Because when it comes to standards for men, the answers are always: "you are not entitled to sex" and "women don't owe men anything". Why do we even have this discourse about "unrealistic" standards for women? Why do we have to make excuses? Women never make excuses for incels.

yuckyuck13 · 2024-07-23T22:45:46+00:00

I work for a university, most of the harshest criticism I overhear is from women. This was 20ish years ago a sorority had their charter removed from the national chapter because part of their hazing was having pledges undress and the sisters would tell them what they needed to work on. I can't imagine how long that was going on before someone said something or addressed it.

Conscious_Luck1256 · 2024-07-24T03:13:56+00:00

i feel like women never do anything to appeal to men. why would they? they get enough male attention by just existing.

boom-wham-slam · 2024-07-23T12:06:45+00:00

I mean my ex was a model and I could buy her a fancy dress or some $7 pos from Walmart and she would look amazing in both.

Fashion is cool but it's largely pointless. Just be thin and wear a sundress. Game over.

uglysaladisugly · 2024-07-23T12:01:09+00:00

Yeah I agree for the whole intricated make up and over the top style stuff.

For other things such as light "natural" makeup and shaving I'd say it's enforced by most of society.

0 make up and simple short hairs will often send a signal of being a neglected woman which can have some bad impact on your day to day life depending on your environment.

Shaving is starting to lose traction (thank god) but it can still demands quite the courage for a woman to expose unshaved legs or armpits in her day to day life.

On a good side note, while doing some bio-monitoring, I noticed that in the 8 young female bachelor student on the field (they're at the beginning of their 20s) only two of them had shaved legs. I was extremely pleasantly surprised. Of course, it may not be the same in other career and academic fields but still, a big win.

2024-07-23T12:44:33+00:00

Yup.

As the joke goes, most men's standards is: "has pussy" and "is breathing (optional)"

But men do have preferences. And it is clear who has the most priviledge in our societies are thin, big boobs/ass women with long hair and cute faces.

sprckets21 · 2024-07-23T15:51:22+00:00

Women have unrealistic beauty standards? Women get to be skinny or thick, have big or small butts and boobs. Be tall or very short. Wear lots of makeup to conceal face and skin issues. A woman at this point of female body acceptance, has no excuse not to be baseline attractive as long as they aren’t obese.

Male beauty is super concise in comparison. Men have to be tall, fit, have hair, strong jaw, hunter eyes, look masculine. They also need horizontal symmetry and vertical facial harmony. To be attractive as a guy takes very specific genetics.

Sadsad0088 · 2024-07-23T14:15:18+00:00

Whenever I complained to a male friend or strangers inline about not feeling pretty or not being able to do some things that made me look better or appear higher maintenance and the guys said “But it doesn’t matter for me..”

I always want to say like yeah, but it matters for the guys I like because those are the kinds of girls they like

Nearbynamesz · 2024-07-23T11:04:32+00:00

Most women will never be as beautiful as me

weightedDownyBlanket · 2024-07-23T11:53:00+00:00

I think style is more for other women. Men aren't usually sensitive beyond the basic level.

LaTableEstBasse · 2024-07-23T17:55:42+00:00

Water is wet

Upset_Material_3372 · 2024-07-23T19:06:25+00:00

They are literally impossible to be imposed by men as men’s standards adjust based on availability.

justforlulz12345 · 2024-07-23T20:57:46+00:00

Nah, there are men out there that know what they like and know how to get it. Women want these men.

Sure they could roll out of bed and get a stable boring relationship with the 5/10, or they could doll up for a few hours and get wined and dined by turkish billionaires in Miami.

eli_ashe · 2024-07-24T01:31:02+00:00

they are like that because there is a tension between wanting to do those things 'for themselves' and the reality that many folks do it exactly for their potential lovers, which for most women means men and the male gaze.

just like many dudes dress for the female gaze, to please their lovers that is. but that isn't the entirety of why they style themselves howsoever they style themselves.

_jay_fox_ · 2024-07-24T13:45:03+00:00

They do it for the top 1% of elite men, those mens' standards are (obviously) limitless.

cast-away-ramadi06 · 2024-07-24T22:03:40+00:00

This isn't really up for debate. It's mostly intrasexual competition just like body building is for men. That's not to say that most women prefer fat men or that men prefer unkempt women, just that the extremes each gender goes to is driven by intersexual dynamics.

BananaB0yy · 2024-07-24T22:35:30+00:00

yup its a competition as old as time

CatchPhraze · 2024-07-23T11:09:52+00:00

This is so dumb, having a round ass and bouncy percy tits isn't the "latest trend" . It's a standard men have injected into the media they create for a long long time.

The beauty trends woman amuse themselves with like nail shapes or eyebrow thickness doesn't have anything to do with men, but those aren't the standards talked about

Makuta_Servaela · 2024-07-23T14:14:15+00:00

"Patriarchy" and "Man" are two different things. Patriarchy is a cultural concept, so it doesn't matter if an individual man disagrees with a particular trend.

Patriarchy refers to the fact that most leadership, most corporations, and most decisions, are decided by rich men. Those men are deciding things that are in their best interest for their perspectives. That's why they decide what advertisements for women's fashion to sell, and the only women able to reach any level of power close to theirs are women who follow those fashion standards- meanwhile rich and powerful men don't have to follow the standards they push on men.

The reason that men are held to patriarchy is less about the idea that any individual man is causing it, and more about that by doing nothing, individual men are upholding it, even to their own detriment, since the rich men at the top are unlikely to change unless men start uniting on the front too- and the rich men will finally be affected by the issue they are causing.

MyHouseOnMars- · 2024-07-23T12:16:52+00:00

"Men don't care about beauty standards!"

Also men here: "Fatties are disgusting"

Solondthewookiee · 2024-07-23T14:03:55+00:00

Why are women like this?

Because you are intentionally not listening to what they're saying.

patriarchy makes us fulfill unreachable beauty standards to appeal male gaze

This is saying that women feel compelled to meet beauty standards whether they want to or not, primarily surrounding things like weight which fosters eating disorders and body image issues. To put it succinctly, many people view a woman existing in public while being unattractive, whether they are attempting to or not, to be a moral failing.

WE. ARE. NOT. DOING. IT. FOR. YOU.

This is pretty straightforward. Women very often

CHOOSE

to dress and appear in a way that they, personally, like.

As is often the case with these "double standards" that dudes on Reddit seem baffled by, the difference comes down to consent and choice.

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wtknight · 2024-07-23T11:06:34+00:00

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Remarkable_Rough_89 · 2024-07-23T11:54:11+00:00

Mo shit,

DankuTwo · 2024-07-24T06:14:33+00:00

The only “unrealistic” beauty standards I’ve ever seen are:

Abnormally large breasts/butt (leading some women to pursue implants)
abnormal quantities of muscles (leading some men to pursue PIDs)

In both cases the people who decide for medical intervention are probably unwell and have themselves to blame far more than society.

You know what is not an unrealistic beauty standard? Be slim and athletic. ANYONE who isn’t seriously disabled can do this with relative ease. All they have to do is put down the fork and occasionally engage in light exercise. It isn’t hard.

G-real1 · 2024-07-24T15:57:03+00:00

Its all a cope to let people think they have anything more than a modicum of control over how attractive the world sees them.

Its way easier to beleive "oh I'm just not desired by the men I want because of __ beauty trend/standard ". Its much much harder to accept that genetically you're fucked, your face bones, your skeletal structure, your natural fat distribution arent aesthetically pleasing to the people you want.

After_Tip_6313 · 2024-07-29T13:04:34+00:00

I mean true lol.

In my, ah, cringier days I wore a fucking Star Wars padawan braid with a Star Wars shirt to school and you know what? The ones who gave me hell weren't guys.

TermAggravating8043 · 2024-07-23T10:57:19+00:00

And yet whenever a woman doesn’t dress up or wear make-up or high heels, the men either ignore her because she’s not pretty or feel the need to comment on her appearance

WWhandsome · 2024-07-23T20:39:51+00:00

You're conflating arguments here, I'm giving you benefit of the doubt and assuming it's not in bad faith.

Aesthetic trends =/= beauty standards. Someone can follow none of the latest trends and still put high effort into their looks and be a 10. Beauty standards do change, but generationally, not with every new trend that arises.

woman: "patriarchy makes us fulfill unreachable beauty standards to appeal male gaze"

women talking about generation wide beauty standards that affect them when dating and seeking employment/promotion. these standards can be simply summed up to how good looking according to men and well groomed a girl looks.

man: "hey, I just wanna say most guys don't care about latest XYZ beauty trend"

hypothetical men in this scenario are equating above with beauty trends we see online, which have nothing to do with patriarchal standards.

also women: "WE. ARE. NOT. DOING. IT. FOR. YOU."

Because actually yes, most beauty trends do NOT focus on male gaze and as a result, aren't a product of patriarchy done to attract mates. There are some trends that do, sure, like extremely sexualised version of egirl, basic latina makeup (sometimes), cutout fashionnova trend from few years ago etc etc. But most trends do not have a goal of impressing a man.

On the other hand all of these trends are a product of consumerism and capitalism. However, if you actually knew female online spaces more closely, you'd know that women under these videos and posts aren't envious of each other for doing a certain makeup, hairstyle, outfit etc, actually opposite, they are usually jealous of someones natural body proportions and/or facial features under all the makeup, regardless of the trend. "I wish I looked as good as you so I could wear this look." I would argue, that this standard specifically is set by social media and both men and women equally. Women say these things around other women and men don't even have to say anything to make it obvious whether they find you ugly or not.

To summarize, for women we have standards

set by men (does she look fuckable or like a potential mate? is having her by my side gonna uplift my status? is her image suitable for the image i want to associate with/build for myself?),

set by women (do i want to look like this? is it aesthetically pleasing? (To add, while yes some women do lie on obese girls' posts that they are stunning etc, some women genuinely leave nice comments because while an obese women will be unattractive to most men, more women who are not interested in other women can find her aesthetically pleasing, whether it be the vibe of the picture, makeup or anything else))

and standards set by hollywood, model industry, social media and entertainment industry in general (actually harsh and mainstream standards which influence individual's standards negatively) This includes body type trends, surgery trends and need for other invasive treatments. These are actual painful things women go through.

Some more anecdotal evidence: nail care. Girl who gets her nails done every month, very long with loud motifs, doesn't expect any benefit from men for her nails, but she will expect that other girls will appreciate her nails. She pays more, spends more time at the salon and potential has trouble picking up coins and using a small keypad. But she will not look down on and/or act different towards women who do not have the same nails as her

Second girl, who keeps her nails short and with natural colors but also pays for them every month is more likely to be expecting men to also appreciate her nails, and she will probably think that she has an advantage with men over herself with completely natural nails. First girl is more likely to complain about beauty standards exactly because things she does to upkeep her image aren't catering to men. For more extreme examples of this fenomen, look into gyaru/harajuku fashion for example.

Why are women like this?

Hope i answered it for you.

Edited to fix grammar, spelling and few points.

SaBahRub · 2024-07-23T13:16:02+00:00

Oh, like what?

Huge tits? Having the body of a pubescent/thigh gap? Being hairless? Phat ass? Skimpy clothes? Lots of makeup? Jewelry and dressing up?

Hate to break it to you, those all work well enough.

Nellylocheadbean · 2024-07-23T11:16:37+00:00

I think there are men that care but it’s not the average man. Above average men and top percentile men definitely do care and they definitely contribute to certain beauty trends.

DankuTwo · 2024-07-24T03:18:14+00:00

If that’s the case why are the standards for looks much lower for lesbians? They can get away with much more appearance-wise than straight women. And frankly the average women doesn’t really care what other women think of her appearance. The majority of employers are men and they’re trying to get into relationships with men so they’re going to care more what men think.

HighestTierMaslow · 2024-07-23T13:23:25+00:00

Nope. I've always been picked on by men. Even at a healthy weight and above average attractiveness (a statement made by men lol)

wtknight · 2024-07-23T10:46:45+00:00

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Few_Advertising3430 · 2024-07-23T17:26:05+00:00

Men think they want a natural look but in my experience they are attracted to a natural looking look. :) No-makeup makeup, natural looking big boobs, fit but not too much definition.

Women might care a lot about style, create makeup and clothing but many of the other beauty standards, flawless skin, thin body are perpetuated by men as well.

toasterchild · 2024-07-24T00:48:03+00:00

Multiple things can all be true at the same time without totally invalidating the other thing.

2024-07-23T14:37:19+00:00

Either way, we should reject them.

epicgamergamingtime · 2024-07-23T16:37:45+00:00

I have heard that large parts of the fashion industry are controlled by gay men which like to tell women that the stick thin model look is attractive and good.

Essentially creating beauty standards that hetero men dont even care about.

Flightlessbirbz · 2024-07-23T22:26:17+00:00

There are in fact TWO beauty standards women feel pressure to conform to. That of straight men (being sexually attractive), and that of women/gay fashion designers (being fashionable/aesthetic/classy). Men care a hell of a lot what women look like, but they generally don’t care if she is following current trends or looks aesthetically well put-together. So what women do for men includes: try to be slim with some curves, remove body hair, “no makeup makeup,” have long, healthy-looking hair, wear clothing that accentuates their bodies. What women do for other women includes: try to be very skinny like models, get trendy haircuts or colors, wear clothing that’s either trendy or looks classic, wear more artistic makeup, do their nails, wear jewelry and other accessories.

januaryphilosopher · 2024-07-23T12:47:31+00:00

Straight women don't care how other women look. They'd rather they look worse if anything. Women often confuse the better treatment they get from men when they look good with looking good for themselves, and men often don't realise how trends they "don't care about" male women look good to them, and don't really want to know how the sausage is made.

SlavePrincessVibes3 · 2024-07-24T00:32:19+00:00

Yeah, it's called internalized misogyny. Lol. So, yes, the patriarchy.

Two things can be true simultaneously.

Title	Most of unrealistic beauty standards are imposed on women by other women
Author	Babyface_Bogart
Upvotes	257
Comments	387
Date	July 23, 2024 10:30 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1ea4hgj/most_of_unrealistic_beauty_standards_are_imposed/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/most-of-unrealistic-beauty-standards-are-imposed.1525082 https://theredarchive.com/post/1525082

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