Thoughts?

SnailWithAKnife · 2020-12-06T10:43:02+00:00

It's been said a million times but before a man proposes he should be 100% sure she's going to say yes. That's as simple as having a conversation about marriage and making sure you're both on the same page. How the proposal's gonna go down can be a surprise, but make sure she wants you to propose.

Also, the middle of a mall is not a good place to propose.

AyemHerself · 2020-12-06T13:32:19+00:00

"Someone's son."

Someone's daughter just got manipulated but let's not worry about that.

samarsharqi · 2020-12-06T10:50:28+00:00

This pic always makes me think “he fucked up and thought this would fix it”

Diamond_fairy · 2020-12-06T11:54:04+00:00

Whoever puts a woman on the spot on such a sensitive topic, without being sure that:

she is ready to get married
she likes this kind of attention seeking shows
the situation is the best possible she could find herself in (at least a dinner where she gets to dress up for the event, not that he shows up in suit and you're grocery shopping)

...kind of deserves to be left there with a middle finger.

GIfuckingJane · 2020-12-06T10:54:21+00:00

Society always places the emotional burden on the woman. Say yes to appease him so he doesn't lose face in public! Who cares how she feels! Who cares about HER embarrassment!

I was thinking about this today. No one cares about a woman's pride. Our egos. Im sick of the world revolving around men and their selfishness.

localgirlcult · 2020-12-06T12:35:12+00:00

What is this "someone's son" bullshit I've been seeing lately? Everyone has parents. Good or bad parents but they have them. Since when is that special? I'm someone's daughter. And?

I applaud these public rejections. He had to know this could happen. You can't be in a relationship and not know if she wants this. Public pressure isn't gonna save your relationship. God, this is so gross and awkward. All those people standing around filming them. It's like the worst zoo.

miphasgraceful · 2020-12-06T12:38:32+00:00

If a guy did this to me (propose so publicly), I would have to say no because he clearly doesn’t know one of my fundamental personality traits- introversion. This feels like she’s been painted into a corner. Good for her for still sticking by her decision, even with the pressure of a crowd.

Erinelda · 2020-12-06T10:27:48+00:00

In that situation I might say "yes" and then ping the ring off his forehead later lol. He would know that I don't like public embarrassment.. but saying "no" privately later wouldn't be for HIM, it's so people don't "BOOO!" at me.

I'd be so mad even if I did want to marry him, I am kinda mad now.. This imaginary man I am thinking of doesn't know me at all. I haven't even met him and I already want to file for divorce 📝

Ha, I should probably go to bed.

just-peepin-at-u · 2020-12-06T13:54:18+00:00

“Someone’s son,” there y’all go. Parents didn’t teach him not to do this and have taught him that it is up to women to accommodate his emotional needs at their own expense. Edit: Proposing at a shopping mall? I get fancy proposals, dinner proposals, and private proposals, but this?

lunchladyshand · 2020-12-06T15:29:18+00:00

It blows my mind that someone would propose marriage without knowing the answer first. This is not the woman’s fault and she is under no obligation to accept his offer so he can save face.

rightioushippie · 2020-12-06T12:08:04+00:00

Don’t waste another moment of your time gently coddling someone’s feelings who was not even considering yours.

Edit: a word

HengroenAndLlamrei · 2020-12-06T13:46:22+00:00

When my friend proposed to his girl, he took her on a hiking trip to a spectacular location (they are outdoorsy) and asked her while overlooking a stunning view with a drone prepared to film the whole moment cinematically. The proposal video is epic looking and you can see her joy as she jumps on him and he spins her around and they kiss with a vista backdrop. It’s a video I’m sure they’ll both revisit and cherish.

yalllove · 2020-12-06T15:20:19+00:00

Men manipulate and they do use women for money, very wealthy men do this as well. Don’t assume because he is a self made man he won’t ask you to go 50/50 for expenses when he makes five times more, or that he won’t fight child support. My ex used to tell me it was his dream to marry a wealthy woman he would even hang out in expensive bars trying to pick one up, he himself had millions. But he wanted her to have fuck your money, no other attributes even mattered. Naturally he thought all regular women were gold diggers.

HengroenAndLlamrei · 2020-12-06T13:42:41+00:00

A proposal should never be a surprise. The execution of it, sure, but not that’s it’s happening at all. The couple should have discussed kids, marriage, finances, goals, etc. In a healthy relationship, when marriage is coming, both people know about it. It’s dangerous Hallmark/Lifetime movie stuff that some dude you’ve known a week surprises you by popping the question. What on earth do you know about the guy you’re going to be legally committed to??

strawbri_ · 2020-12-06T18:30:40+00:00

I hate the use of "someones son" or "someones daughter" to shame people.

draconicomma · 2020-12-06T19:39:02+00:00

They act like there’s no possibility that someone’s daughter won’t get harmed by someone’s son if she lied publicly with a yes and then rejected it within the privacy of their home later. But who cares! Someone’s son is very upset and embarrassed and just oh-so-humiliated, will he ever love again???? /s🤦🏽‍♀️

SpaceC4se · 2020-12-06T17:30:46+00:00

"don't embarrass someone's son". Someone's son embarrassed themselves. Don't put people on the spot like that, it's manipulative .

2020-12-06T11:16:59+00:00

proposing should be an intimate moment between two people .

TheOGJammies · 2020-12-07T00:40:18+00:00

I mean this is pretty much 100% - their entire sexual strategy is find a high pressure situation as to which a woman can’t say no or is too disoriented and try and get laid. Buncha car salesmen trying to offload lemons.

muppet_fister · 2020-12-06T19:24:05+00:00

I'm not sure where this trend started, but y'all should discuss marriage BEFORE the proposal. A proposal should not be a 50/50 roll on whether she's gonna say yes or no. Sure it "ruins" the surprise, but discussing whether marriage is on the table, your expectations of where to/not to propose and in what timeframe you wanna tie the knot happen before even buying a ring. Marriage is a huge responsibility so don't be putting people on the spot, ffs.

Thesociodark · 2020-12-06T15:17:52+00:00

She couldn't win in this situation. Rejects him in front of everyone = heartless bitch. Accepts just to backpedal in private = manipulative, lying bitch. He is the one who should have think about this.

GlitterMars · 2020-12-06T11:40:25+00:00

Okay, but what if there's a friend or acquaintance in the crowd? Then they're going to find out about the rejection anyway later, so I think in a situation like this we should just say yes and marry them, even if they're cheating, abusive or whatever. Right? As long as their pride doesn't get hurt. /s of course

TheHayleStorm204 · 2020-12-06T18:39:13+00:00

Even if he’s sure she wants to marry him she may not like that kind of public attention. I made it very clear to my husband when we were discussing marriage that I would not appreciate a public proposal. This is selfish as hell. He’s not doing it because it’s what she wants. He’s doing it so he can receive praise and attention.

kgerlean · 2020-12-06T20:12:31+00:00

A man who truly wants to marry me, knows how to propose. These are conversations to be had long before a ring is purchased. My BFF’s husband had a surprise public proposal planned and asked me to go with him to pick out the ring and I told him she’d hate that proposal, so he planned a different, perfect proposal for her. She loved it!

2020-12-06T12:06:18+00:00

If he can only do the right thing in public then best believe he can't do the right thing in private.

Optimal_Grapefruit_5 · 2020-12-06T21:29:31+00:00

Don't embarrass "someone's daughter" by trying to manipulate her into a lifetime commitment in front of a bunch of strangers blissfully unaware of the crustiness of your ass.

Unfit_Needleworker · 2020-12-06T21:54:12+00:00

“Someone’s SoN” look how emphasis is put on the fact that it’s someone’s man child.

Apricot_Ibex · 2020-12-07T17:26:28+00:00

Doing this without any prior consent and planning means the person proposing should prepare for possible public rejection and humiliation by putting their partner on the spot like that. It’s awkward and embarrassing for both parties. Saying yes and then backing out later would draw criticism too for “lying.” What is the recipient expected to do, then?!

The worst I’ve ever seen online is a woman trying to discuss some very important work she’s doing in a professional interview and her bf just barges onto the set, cuts her off, and proposes in the middle of it. She was NOT pleased, and he was at a loss. So narcissistic and clueless to take her moment away and make it all about himself, like he couldn’t stand that she had a career and life outside of him. 🚩🚩 🚩 He should’ve known her better than to do that. I would never do that to my partner while they’re in a professional interview. It shows utter disrespect.

Pudding5050 · 2020-12-06T16:56:09+00:00

Don't propose in public if you cannot handle rejection in public. You chose where to do it, knowing the risk. Manipulative assholes.

cantstopthemachine77 · 2020-12-07T09:08:16+00:00

Wow, notice how men and their feelings are automatically prioritized and regarded with humanizing sympathy, by being described as “someone’s son”....

juliet-elia · 2020-12-06T21:12:29+00:00

You're supposed to talk about it beforehand. He should be sure she wants it, a marriage requires a deeper conversation than an awkward proposal in public. And she always has the right to say no. I don't give fuck that this is someone's son. I'm someone's daughter.

Phoenix__Rising2018 · 2020-12-07T01:32:44+00:00

The LVM are reporting this post like crazy! 🤣😂

chorussaurus · 2020-12-07T02:43:51+00:00

Opinion: DO NOT propose to me in a mall.

SavingsStrength0 · 2020-12-06T18:53:57+00:00

Olivia Gatwood’s “Say No” poem (I think it’s on YouTube!) is what I always think of whenever some dude does one of these big crowded proposals like it’s scary accurate how on point she is about it.

YesPleaseMadam · 2020-12-06T16:04:03+00:00

the type of guy that thinks coercing someone to accept a proposal in public is acceptable is the type of guy that beats the shit out of a woman that returns the ring later. no thanks. in public he will have to control his temper.

Nifteroni-and-Cheese · 2020-12-06T16:27:48+00:00

My mom has a funny story about a friend of hers who’s boyfriend asked if she wanted to marry him while just chillin on the couch, no ring, no plan, and she responded “are you fucking high?!?”

He was, indeed, fucking high.

PasDeTout · 2020-12-06T16:43:42+00:00

Never do public proposals. It’s manipulative and coercive af.

vardebi · 2020-12-06T19:06:32+00:00

The caption is GOLD, that is the ENTIRE story of Men.

Noemie_Mathilde · 2020-12-06T23:46:58+00:00

Very public engagements with "an audience"=sooo tacky

spicyspa · 2020-12-11T23:46:23+00:00

How 'bout - Find a private place to propose to the woman. Don't embarrass someone's daughter in public. Matter settled.

ivy176 · 2021-01-01T04:49:39+00:00

Nope. If something's not right then just say no.

Women are taught to never say no and then they wonder why we stayed in abusive relationships or didn't scream and try to kill the guy while being raped.

Proposing isn't always a kind thing to do, or a selfless thing or a favour. It can be inappropriate, inconsiderate, desperate, manipulative, pushy or even abusive in certain situations. What if he cheated on her and now is trying to push her to get back together with a proposal?

honcho713 · 2020-12-06T13:34:03+00:00

More Style Coming Soon.

riricide · 2020-12-06T15:39:41+00:00

I'm half sure this is some staged commercial, but if it's not that lady is walking away like a total boss lol. And the comment about "returning it later" is just 🙄. I'd say it's worse to do that if the proposal was genuine. Just say no and move on.

eclecticstates · 2020-12-07T01:34:35+00:00

Men aren't manipulative?!?!?! WTF is PUA and negging, then?!!

I get it though, I grew up with a lot of internalized misogyny and also thought that women were the manipulative ones while men were direct. Maybe it used to be that way. Not anymore!!!!!

cicerii · 2020-12-06T16:10:28+00:00

I don't understand how someone wouldn't know whether or not she would say yes. This isn't 1560 where men saw a woman twice and proposed. People nowadays discuss marriage and know they are getting married don't they? It's not like the man is the one who chooses whether or not to propose. Most healthy couples have an understanding it will happen and the proposal is just a matter of time and place.

aTophMF · 2020-12-06T16:37:35+00:00

I don’t understand why someone proposes without being sure if the other person will say yes or not. It’s something for life (intended to be lol) so it’s normal to discuss these life changes and see where the other person stands. You can still make the proposal special or a surprise, but you should be sure that you’re on the same wavelength as your SO.

LevelTurbulent · 2020-12-06T19:48:53+00:00

That’s exactly what it is. They’re trying to force her to say yes. They want her pressured to say yes.

oh_shit_oh_fuck · 2020-12-06T20:00:29+00:00

Accept the ring, keep it and dump him in the 🗑

Waste-Win · 2020-12-07T00:39:33+00:00

Of you feel ready for a public propousal, you should be ready for a public rejection too.

canering · 2020-12-07T00:54:56+00:00

Who proposes without discussing it thoroughly first ? Like how does that even work? Why would you do that to anyone but even yourself? I don’t really have an issue with public proposals (although I’d never want or do it myself) if that’s what the couple is into but you better be damn sure it’s 100% what you/partner wants. No sympathy

warinmymind94 · 2020-12-07T08:14:34+00:00

If you aren't complety sure you want to marry him or its a low effort proposal you have every right to say no. Tf is this bs I can't believe the meme is telling women to protect a man's fragile ego.

2020-12-08T00:43:55+00:00

So they want women to be fake, and then call us two faced? Because even if we do that, the male will still have to go and tell all the friends and family that he got rejected later on :) "DoNt hUrT sOmEOnEs SoN LikE ThAt"

aquarieux · 2020-12-06T17:26:28+00:00

Men forget that marriage is a huge commitment and an even bigger life change, especially when you look at the statistics and see that women who marry tend to lose years off their lives. You don't spring that on your partner as a surprise, especially in public in front of a crowd. Don't spare men their feelings.

manwatheil_undomiel · 2020-12-06T17:56:24+00:00

Fucking "matter settled" acting like he actually did something. Who put this scrote in charge?

daggerite · 2020-12-06T18:11:16+00:00

this is why I hate public proposals. bitch i got ptsd. i got the hyperactive vigilant issues, tf?? I'd run 😂😂😂

Little_Illustrator · 2021-01-31T02:08:52+00:00

He should be prepared for her to say no if he asks in public But, I watched the video and it was actually a prank. The guy and the girl wanted to see how people would react if she said No.

Paradox_Blobfish · 2021-01-29T04:44:23+00:00

The fake crying is really getting to me...

AlextheAnalyst · 2021-04-21T03:42:24+00:00

You embarrassed yourself in front of Derek Jeeter.

Pickled_Tink_Tea · 2021-04-30T13:22:59+00:00

This is how I got trapped in to getting married at 19.

Fluffy-Steak-1516 · 2020-12-06T10:41:10+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Josef20076 · 2022-06-02T10:30:20+00:00

Bro probably just thought it was a good spot. Half of this sub acts as if men were selfish, sexist and sex depraved monsters.

Normal-Pension-7283 · 2022-07-20T20:58:59+00:00

This is just some bleu / pink haired sjw leftwinged bulshit

Mystro_22 · 2022-08-08T18:59:15+00:00

Disgraceful (I’m a guy)

Title	Thoughts?
Author	liondale
Upvotes	13094
Comments	181
Date	December 6, 2020 9:57 AM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/k7r2qc/thoughts/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/thoughts.631437 https://theredarchive.com/post/631437

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