Weekly FDS Check-In

vee_aye_aye_aye · 2021-05-03T07:37:43+00:00

Just a suggestion. It would be nice to have an FDS friendly stuff to discuss sex and sexual stuff.

All the other sex related subs are libfem trash, and I'd feel safer discussing issues in a female only space. Being in a committed relationship won't change issues like healing from sexual assault, physical issues like endometriosis etc.. it would just be nice to have a space for this.

FabledAngryVillager · 2021-05-03T07:37:09+00:00

Nurse at work was talking about his girlfriend isn't the one. Likes her company, but meh feelings. Like, break up then, bitch??? And neighbor talked about how he hasn't had sex in ages, but he's not attracted to his gf and how she keeps on getting fatter. He's unemployed currently and smokes and games all day with his gf's friend 🤔🤔🤔

Both these dudes ugly. Just why.

apple_cores · 2021-05-03T11:12:39+00:00

I know a really sweet, kind woman. She had a few kids with her awful ex. He had cheated on her while she was pregnant, he’s lazy, deceitful, etc. They were still seeing each other and he proposed; she was shocked since she wasn’t sure if she could marry him since she knew she couldn’t trust him. She said yes, but then gave back the ring and ended things. I was so relieved to hear it.

Last year, she met a guy who is all about her. He takes her on wonderful dates and always pays, consistent in communication, buys her flowers regularly; brings her lunch to work regularly, took her on vacations and always paid and planned them, buys her thoughtful gifts, bought her children gifts before he met them, etc. For Mother’s Day, he got her a ring with her children’s birthstones 🥺

The things she’s told me and shown me he’s done...I’ve never had a man do a quarter of the things he’s done. So I refuse to settle for anything less.

eclo · 2021-05-03T09:37:28+00:00

Just moved back home after being at my parents for lockdown and stuff is still not that open and I’m feeling lonely bc I don’t have many friends here so fighting the urge to go on dating apps. Every time I think ‘try OLD again’ I make myself come here to browse and you queens set me straight again 😂

Mella_20 · 2021-05-03T12:22:32+00:00

I'm surprised how much people invalidate women who say they want to stay single for good. They respect their decisions even less than childfree people imo. If you're childfree, people still invalidate you, but you're more likely to find people who respect your decision as final.

They don't respect wanting to stay single at all and its frustrating. Especially my parents.

I'm not "single until I find someone".I'm single cause I literally cannot stand the idea of sharing space with someone, and I dont want to commit to someone on that level. I'm not comfortable with it. I'm deadass. And I'm not changing my mind. Why do I have to do something just because others are?

What I cant stand the most is when people try to look for mental issues in people who don't want to fall in love. Why does there have to be an issue?

RacePinkBlack · 2021-05-03T13:39:22+00:00

I need to tell a story. When I was about 11 years old my grandma, her boyfriend, and I were at a diner in Alabama. Her boyfriend asked his coffee be brought out with his meal. The server brought out his coffee before his meal. I'm assuming she thought his food would be ready soon after and it just didn't happen. I don't think she was terribly early either. Anyway when he saw her again, on God, he grabbed her by her arm and said in a stern voice: "I asked that my coffee be brought along with my meal. Go back and get me a new coffee and make sure it comes when my meal is ready."

18 years later I still get upset by this story.

HlGHFIVE · 2021-05-03T19:12:38+00:00

Checking in! I went to dinner with a guy and everything was going well until ....

The server was very flustered and rushed the whole time. When it was time for the check he dumped it on my date, and didn't really give us a choice. The guy felt pressured to pay for my $18 plate of food and he had a split second of hesitation before he reached for his wallet.

I always come prepared to pay for myself. I never hint or imply or ask a man to pay. But he seemed reluctant as he reached for his card. The server didn't really allow much room for negotiation there.

The entire rest of our date was downhill. He angled his entire body away from me to watch TV (not even like a main sport, just some random weird bar game)

He was so mad he had to pay for my food after he had just got done bragging about how much money he makes. What a Scrote.

lowsodiumhumanbeing · 2021-05-03T12:34:29+00:00

I feel so fortunate to have found this sub and you gals! My perception of romantic relationships, dating, and myself have all changed for the better over the last several months. I’m happily single, off all OLD, sober, pursuing goals, and working hard to level up. It’s a great feeling.

Hope you all have a great week! 🥰

splendiddiamonds · 2021-05-03T16:16:58+00:00

Was in another sub and saw a post from someone (presumably a woman) who went on a date. The man stole the chopsticks from the table as a “gift” for OP (she collects them) even though they’re available for purchase through the restaurant. OP says she told him she was uncomfortable but he said he thinks the gesture is “romantic”.

The FDS response of “yes, theft is a dealbreaker, plus he doesn’t care that you’re upset about it” is getting DOWNVOTED and the pickme saying “just communicate, stealing is totally fine, everyone does it lol” has more upvotes. She already cOmMuNiCaTeD and he said he doesn’t care. Why does she have to teach a grown man that stealing is unacceptable?? Have fun receiving a burgled engagement ring >5 years from now!!

I tried to comment but this is a new account so my reply was removed.

Edit to add: everyone is clambering to defend this guy saying “oh he must be young, he doesn’t know any better so cut him a break, he must think this is cute as a teen gift” and guess what ladies, he’s TWENTY-EIGHT YEARS OLD and has a “well-paying job”. Why is everyone so adamant about defending a man they don’t know?? Why are they insisting that OP give him another chance when they’ve been dating for “a very short time” and they barely know each other? What’s so wrong about telling her to dump someone who is literally a thief, and why are the pickmes in there condoning theft and calling [normal, pro-social] people who speak out against it the “morality police”??? You know who’s against theft?? The real-life police, because it is literally a crime. When was I transported to clown world?????

thecrazywitch31 · 2021-05-03T13:22:21+00:00

Do you guys consider smoking weed and being into certain drugs and all.repulsive ? Like I don't wanna lifestyle-shame someone and I don't have any problem with people that do.. But I would just prefer someone who doesn't smoke and drink.

Explaining further, I come from a conservative society where all this is shameful to do. I am very open-minded, and I wanted to try all this once myself. I have also tried alcohol once. But now, it seems I don't like all this stuff and it is becoming a deal-breaker for me. Is this a problem or should I be more open-minded?

Queenleovenus · 2021-05-03T14:26:40+00:00

FDS has helped me so much. I joined few months ago, but the changes I have been noticing in my personality are priceless. It's helping me so much. Although I'm dealing with self esteem and self worth issues, it has taught me not to settle for less. I always had fear about talking to the authority ( to the teachers, professors, bosses etc) Tomorrow I'm gonna confront my wicked lazy ass boss. She is making me overwork and doesn't really give proper directions.

Gambit12345 · 2021-05-03T09:23:27+00:00

I finished Invisalign and feel fantastic. I’ve been glowing up in so many ways in the past year and a half. It may seem small or inconsequential but there was a time I didn’t indulge in girly interests despite loving them. My ex molded me into a female version of himself and the covert control totally changed me. Little by little once we broke up I started shedding the old ways he taught me to be, which didn’t serve me or my genuine interests at all. Its crazy just how much someone can influence you. Once they’re gone it’s like the blinds are lifted and you’re like I can’t believe they programmed me to keep myself down to appease them. Now I can pursue whatever I want and constantly redirect my attention to myself and it’s a powerful feeling. I can’t see myself ever dating unless a man was able to add to this feeling of happiness and damn near euphoria that I give to myself.

sourcircus · 2021-05-03T18:01:37+00:00

[deleted]

nruthh · 2021-05-03T16:04:47+00:00

A year ago, I got downgraded from FDS Apprentice to Pickmeisha because I tried to defend polyamory. I no longer support polyamory and have changed that, but I can’t figure out how to get my flair changed by a mod. Can someone help?

ucompost · 2021-05-03T15:23:02+00:00

I need support! I’m going through some shit! I’m surrounded by men and no women cept for coworkers and I can’t be ranting about feminism in a professional workspace.

I need some like minded strong ass women in my life as friends that’ll challenge me laugh with me and shine with me. I’m anxious sick to my stomach and just dealing with a whole lot of drama (started by a man of course!) and over all desperate to feel heard outside of my therapists office.

StandPotential · 2021-05-03T16:19:08+00:00

Studying for my final exams right now! It's been a really weird year of doing just online college, especially because my subject usually has a lot of practical elements. Hoping to get a high average to end off the academic year:) I've been working really hard so hopefully it pays off!

laffytaggy · 2021-05-04T01:25:57+00:00

I just unmatched a guy because within an hour and a couple exchanges he asked to “hangout” then suggested tonight (its already well into night where I am). Ew! He’s 39.

not_a_throwaway24 · 2021-05-03T14:20:28+00:00

I'd love to hear some HVM doings, if anyone is willing to share 🥰💛

licoricespicedtea · 2021-05-03T13:18:33+00:00

I’m in my own apartment! It is beautiful and quiet and most importantly stays clean after I clean it 😁

feeturingmyself · 2021-05-03T15:29:45+00:00

I've been having a lot of downs this week and reading stories from you queens has been motivating me. Feeling grateful to have this community and to have discovered it sooner, rather than later.

numbers213 · 2021-05-03T14:39:21+00:00

I'm seeing my best friend for 4th of July. My passport came in last week so we are now going to play an international trip for summer 2022 (I'm vaccinated but also hopefully covid tapers off). And we are discussing buying a house together. She's my sister why wouldn't I want to love with her?

starlight_sequence · 2021-05-03T13:41:20+00:00

I’ve have a fourth date lined up and I’m so conflicted.

I’m enjoying his company, we have good conversations, he’s fit and good looking, he has a good job, he’s been a perfect gentleman but...

His voice and mannerisms are so feminine, and it turns me off. Like if I had met him under any other circumstances, I would have assumed he was gay. Which is fine of course, just not something I feel attracted to.

I kind of observed him from a distance while I was coming back from the restroom last date, and was surprised how handsome I found him, because once he starts speaking my attraction just plummets.

He also mentioned his ex was emotionally abusive and honestly, in my experience any time a man says his female partner abused him, he was actually the abuser.

So, I don’t know. I’m torn. I’m enjoying his company and the attention, because he is obviously quite smitten with me, but I just don’t know yet.

I suppose I don’t have to know yet though, that’s the whole point of dating.

met10007 · 2021-05-04T01:52:54+00:00

What do you think about the announcement of the Gates divorce? She filed, citing the marriage was “irretrievably broken”. Maybe they just grew apart, or is there something more to it? I think it is interesting timing, now that their youngest child is 18.

growing_flower_ · 2021-05-03T17:25:12+00:00

I am not sure if anyone has ever felt this way but lately, I have been feeling a whole lot of regret toward my previous experiences with men. I had my first BF at 22, and I realized all I tried to do is cater to him and be like the best girlfriend he ever had because he didn't have the best previous relationship. I gave up so many of my values in this process and prior I never really reflected, but it is all starting to affect me. I would do things for his pleasure like send some lingerie pics and I usually am so against all of that stuff (no face/we were LDR). This has been about 5 years ago, but because all the growth and things I have been enduring, it makes me feel so disgusted of my old self because I really did forget all the value I built up - I was so obsessed with being the girl who changes his perspective and be so memorable. Don't get me wrong we had good times, but it seems like my actions weren't coming from the right place. The whole relationship became emotionally abusive after a while and I was at my lowest point and I blamed myself. Even after, I started going for the bad guys because I was so curious and my previous relationship had me dull so I wanted something so different. But these guys (it was only 2 after) were worse and were users and I can't even begin to say about one of the experiences I had with one of them. I knew my department in men was the weakest because I always gave in and was so into being such a savior, or being that memorable girl. Like I was so obsessed with making a guy who literally took a whole other girl on a trip, inconsistent, a huge perv, lose his mind over me because the way he treated me - this was my recent interaction and now he is blocked and I realized this isn't it. I know I sound so pity and maybe it may sound so stupid, but I really just feel so crappy that these past couple of years I wasted my time and disregarded all my values/morals to satisfy a man and sometimes I worry that this reflects me and my brains, my hard work, my education won't seem much. Sometimes I look at smart woman and I just wonder if they ever went through these things or if they even had an ugly guy experience. Has anyone felt like this? How do you get over it

I_have_a_secret123 · 2021-05-04T19:31:06+00:00

My mother told me something about a lady who she used to know. The lady was killed by her scum of a husband, and lied to the cops about it too. Only to be busted when his 5 year old son said the truth.

I am just so shocked. I've never been a stranger to the fact that trashy men will never bat an eyelid before killing a woman, but it being so close to home is hard.

Makes me want to double down on the indifference and the hoops I make these men jump from. Fuck you, prove your worth to me.

sherrybby · 2021-05-03T15:22:12+00:00

Hi everyone. Wanted to get your thoughts. My bf and I are in a LDR and he told me about this pickmeisha who was trying to come on to him (ie - saying all her male friends want to sleep with her, no concern for boundaries). Obviously I'm still vetting him and evaluating his story with a grain of salt. However, he told me immediately the night of, told me he made his boundaries clear to her, refused her add on social media, and no longer attends events in which she is there.

I'm moving to his area in a few months for school, and wonder what/how to act if I see her since would be running in the same circles. Clearly her involvement in the circle is a big red flag and says a lot about that friend group. But besides actively avoiding those circles, I was wondering how to act if I ever see her. I'm thinking to act unbothered/cold because it's not my conflict to get involved in (and he should be advocating for himself and our relationship), but I am not sure. Is my bf not doing enough to stand up for our relationship too? What is the golden standard for a HVM in this situation? Thanks.

myoklife · 2021-05-03T21:00:34+00:00

I just need to vent, as usual...

I'm just at my wits end with the terminal laziness of people in my life. Surprise, it's mostly men.

I still see limited people because of covid but have a few male colleagues and a male roommate who I see regularly. I've watched them turn into the laziest people over the past year while I've been working out like crazy, trying to level up. Something about constantly being around people with zero drive just kills me and I don't know why. Almost like I am jealous.

My roommate never leaves the apartment and if he does, he takes an uber. He vacuumed once and bragged about it being "exercise." He eats children's food (easy mac, deli sandwiches, other gross crap) or more often gets delivery. Groceries are delivered even though we live next to a grocery store. And of course he's always projecting onto me. One time I was treating myself to an unhealthy meal and he looks at it and says: "I'm trying to eat healthier." Of course, that was months ago and no he hasn't. Also he never cleans and his room smells like mildew. he's not dirty outside of his room but just...blatant lack of drive all around. He's also 10 years older than me.

And then there's my coworker. Again, nice guy but he's so lazy and lowkey showing some...colors. his girlfriend (not wife!) who already gave 3 babies to an abusive boyfriend is pregnant and hes planning to make her stay home (she was laid off due to covid) and live off medicaid instead of like...marrying her and helping her with insurance? This guy also refuses to take the stairs. We work on the second floor. He will ONLY take the elevator even if it holds up people who actually need it (dude will wait like 5 minutes for the elevator), also refuses to grocery shop himself, also exclusively eats takeout...

It's just so damn annoying. I know I shouldn't judge, shouldn't look at others but like...I've worked so hard on myself and it's met with a lot of disdain tbh. You can tell a lot of people wanted to get in really good shape during quarantine and didn't...well I actually did, and I get very mixed responses from people about it. I should mention I'm not conventionally attractive and rather kind of look like a boy, so I've had men literally get jealous and competitive with me about fitness lately. Those I can ignore. But it just feels like I'm damned if I do and damned if I don't, meanwhile these older men are just letting themselves go and still managing to start families and shit.

girlanarchy · 2021-05-03T23:37:51+00:00

I’m sort of reeling from realizing my ex was probably a covert narcissist who used stone walling and gaslighting to keep me in some dumb peaks and valley cycle with him. He would laugh at me when I made a point he disagreed with, put down my hobbies and claim I was just being sensitive, turn away from me in bed if I tried discussing something with him, would actually get angry at me for crying but would not even just leave me alone, he’d come into the room I would bawl in and then get visibly exasperated with me. He didn’t have empathy, or enough of it he claimed, but couldn’t answer how he intended to be with anyone if he couldn’t empathize.

It didn’t occur to me that he’s got a lot of narcissistic traits since he’s not a center-of-attention guy, but he definitely sees himself as superior to pretty much everyone and would talk more passionately about internet libertarians (I know) than about his feelings on us, our relationship. He also couldn’t tolerate our couples therapist (got mad at me when he was mad at her for calling him out) and refused to do any solo therapy.

In a weird way I feel like I didn’t get closure despite being the one that ended things. I guess I just feel crazy since things would be so so good when there wasn’t conflict, and he made me feel like I was to blame for any problems in the relationship. I feel bad too, since I stopped seriously dating for like 5 years after getting out of an abusive relationship. Good for me for getting out of this one much sooner, but it’s sort of shitty my first real partner post-abuse was just a different version of the last guy. I don’t like that.

Melodic_Novel6309 · 2021-05-04T20:40:15+00:00

It's hilarious how often I'm seeing Reddit slot in Ads for OnlyFans in this sub 😂 like their targeting is SO OFF. In this particular ad, a woman is going to confront her husband about watching OnlyFans but he teaches her that the site has so much other content besides porn.

I find it's a fantastic case study! Here is a LVM watching porn on OnlyFans, but now he has a convenient excuse to give to his wife. Take note!

laffytaggy · 2021-05-04T01:35:45+00:00

How can I avoid having a LVW friend stay at my place? She’s the type of friend that uses my place as a crash pad and leaves me feeling like a hotel. She makes plans with others but doesn’t do anything with me but comes over shower and sleep (comes late, leaves early). If i want to catch up, it means i stay up late and am exhausted for my weekend...and last time she asked me to make her tea when i stayed up late to let her in. She’s competitive with me but is like a decade older than me. She also makes digs at me and is never happy for me. I feel anxious and off when too close to her for too long, shes okay in doses. And I promised myself I won’t let her stay with me ever again. So I moved to a new city months ago and informed her only today bc I saw her relative today. She mentioned her friend lives here and wants her to visit, so she might come to my city to see that friend. Then asked how long ill be here...i said for a while, and said cool, to let me know if she visits (did not invite her to stay with me). She then asked where I am living, and I was vague and said somewhere temporary...which is true.

I do want to hang out but I really do not want to host her. Esp during covid. Im afraid she’ll ask to crash. :(

bpdweep · 2021-05-04T06:44:00+00:00

Female co worker that I talk to recently got romantically involved with another male co worker. Female co worker reported recent sexual harassment of another male co worker we work with. She told the male co worker that she’s involved with about it and instead of him empathizing with her and validating her experience and emotions, he told her, “Maybe it was a language barrier!” Female co worker said she’s no longer going to speak to him but hours later the two are caking it up again. Very disappointed and sad. She doesn’t know her worth.

licoricespicedtea · 2021-05-04T14:29:23+00:00

So I have my first post-finding-FDS date Friday. I’m trying not to take it super seriously, just as practice putting the FDS rules into practice.

So far he’s been meeting the bare minimum/no red flags. He’s from OLD (yeah I know, but I like the window-shopping aspect), but he contacted me first and with more than just “hey” and has been a very good conversationalist, showing interest in my life and sharing an appropriate amount about his life. He asked me out after about a week of chatting, but I was busy for the next 1-2 weeks. Yesterday he re-asked me out for Friday, for dinner. He asked what kinds of food I like and is taking the lead on choosing a restaurant.

(Even though I shouldn’t be) I’m nervous about letting him pay (not just him, letting guys in general pay). If I can come out of this date having successfully acted “unbothered” when the bill arrives, that will be a success whether I want to see him again or not. I feel like I just need to get the first time out of my system and it will be easier after that.

He has a solid job, a car, a dog, and at least 2 relatively expensive hobbies, so objectively I know I shouldn’t be feeling any sort of way about him paying. If he likes me, he’s in a good position in his life to take care of me if he wants to. I just need to rip the bandaid off.

level_up_always · 2021-05-05T00:07:38+00:00

Just feeling sad today. I wish things were different, that men weren't who they were and that the romantic dream they sold us was actually true. I think I'm grieving all the lies, deception and brainwashing. It makes me so angry. Why did I waste so much fucking time on these losers who didn't even deserve to breathe the same air as me. I fucking hate them. I never want anyone else to go through what I have. It's not worth it. I just wish I realized it sooner. I also hate being back at home because I hate my family and my dad is lv trash.

carmen_sandiegos_hat · 2021-05-03T17:18:20+00:00

Not feeling too good about all the uncertainty in my life (due to COVID). I'm getting a new job but they don't know which office yet or the start date. Supposed to move but again, I don't know to where yet because they're waiting for government guidelines to update. I don't know if I should pack or prepare for WFH. I can't buy new clothes because I don't know what climate I am staying in/moving to. These unprecedented times are really eating away at me.

lowsodiumhumanbeing · 2021-05-03T19:17:44+00:00

Ope, I have something else! Does anyone know how I could get my flair changed here? I would like to be able to comment in the AskFDS sub but don’t think I can get approval as a flaired throwaway account.

HolaHulaHola · 2021-05-04T00:26:34+00:00

Husband knows I like good wine so this evening he surprised me with a gift of a good bottle of Sauternes :) :)

I will create a delicious baked dessert this weekend to go with that wine :)

worriedrenterTW · 2021-05-04T22:39:03+00:00

The amount of pro makeup, pro shaving women on here is embarrassing, it makes me want to pull my hair out. Men are a totes but you'll fulfill the attractiveness expectations they've put out, and put money in their pockets because you want to be here and bag on shit dudes but not actually change or improve yourself? Weak. Big talk, actions still say low self esteem and worried about how fuckable you look to society.

denimbastard · 2021-05-04T22:58:15+00:00

My girls and I have started a chat group where announce the LVM roll call of the week. This week we are 5 days in and 13 LVMs have been nominated.

Aromatic-Owl8808 · 2021-05-05T00:08:41+00:00

I have a physics question, lol. If anybody wants to help, please let me know!

HeavyMetalLobster · 2021-05-03T14:59:58+00:00

The bartender at the pool hall I go to said it was weird that I like when my boyfriend pays. I wanted to tell her that....he loves to pay for me. he loves to provide for me knowing I can provide for myself. he knows that I don’t need anyone which is why he wants to pay for and support me

My boyfriend is planning a huge thing at the hall for our anniversary this week. It’s also our friends bday so boyfriend is getting him his own small cake.

lifesok · 2021-05-04T16:22:06+00:00

How do you respond to the question “why are you still single?” It’s obviously a loaded question really asking, “so what’s wrong with you?”

Platipus6 · 2021-05-03T08:57:39+00:00

[deleted]

christmasforoutlaws · 2021-05-03T13:09:15+00:00

The semester is almost over. I'm so glad. I need a break. I'm going to try and learn coding over the summer, but I'm afraid my math disability will get in the way.

TululahJayne · 2021-05-05T04:44:57+00:00

There is a thread on the main page about the "dark side of the porn industry". Spoiler alert!! It's all dark, you assholes. Men are actually feigning to be shocked. It's a mockery. The top comment says it all and people are surprised. Like, what?? You thought porn was ethical?? Hahahahahahahhahahahahhahahahahahahhahahah. No.

laffytaggy · 2021-05-06T02:35:59+00:00

ADVICE PLEASE!!

Should I block/delete yet? Had a phone chat with a guy from an app on Sunday. I was already a little annoyed by his inability to schedule a phone call, so it took days for it to happen and we even played phone tag...sigh. The convo was good, he was engaged..asked questions and shared about himself. I played it confident, acting like he was auditioning for me. I did sense I am smarter than him and likely more stable in my career but he holds his own. As the chat was winding down he commented that he was hungry, was going to grab a bite and asked what I was up to. I was disappointed he was going to ask me on a last minute “date” like that, and reminded him i had plans. He then asked what my week looks like and i told him that my weeks are busy with work and my hobby but flexible after Friday. He said “lets connect later in the week then and work something out for the weekend.” I told him that sounds good and i enjoyed talking to him. It’s Wednesday and I heard nothing. So i won’t accept a date for this weekend at this point. Should I block/delete now?

judithyourholofernes · 2021-05-06T20:14:11+00:00

I love that FDS exists. I love that we are fighting our conditioning. Thank you mods for keeping it clean over here. Total barrage of shit-nado you deal with. I couldn’t do it, it fucking hurts. Praying for all women and girls, our future. This is a very important sub and it’s making it’s mark.

_RustInPiece_ · 2021-05-04T03:53:02+00:00

I was wondering if we could do something about vote manipulation of comments. Not for personal reasons, I try to follow rediquette and don't up-and downvote based on personal opinion but on percieved value for the discussion. This means mostly upvote as long as this condition is fullfilled. I also don't really care about stranger's votes on my comments on the internet.

What concerns me is my observation how a concatenation of replys escalates in both directions: As soon a post gets one or two downvotes more are about to follow. The same goes for the opposite direction. This is funny because you just need 1-2 alt account - doesn't even have to be FDS members, lurking works just as well - to push a conversation in a specific direction and form the public opinion on here. It often seems like people, especially new members, are so lost in their leveling up process that they develop some sort of hive mind. They see a downvote and downvote, they see a popular post and upvote. I understood that the flair system is an attempt to regulate this a bit. However I'm not so sure that this has the desired effect. I wish for newer members to develop more nuanced and critical thinking since it is important for becoming a HVW.

I made this observation since I started here about a 3/4 year ago. I remember struggeling with it myself because I felt lost and longed for more FDS input than I found (or was able to understand) on the handbook. So I thought that higher voted posts meant that this member was about to be promoted to a higher rank/flair (if I remember correctly the flair guide said something like this?). I often think that newbies are looking for any straw to grasp to be accepted into the community that they go pickmeisha on other members in hopes to push their own reputation. This much for my assumption. Maybe I'm overthinking things.

Edit: Grammar and additional context

theblushinglilac · 2021-05-07T01:23:17+00:00

I work in dentistry. I recently started going back to school, so I transitioned from a full-time position to a very much part-time, work-as-needed basis for a temp agency that allows me to work at tons of different offices.

I can't tell you how many women I've run into who I know, so I say something along the lines of, "Oh I know you, did you used to work at XYZ office?!"

I have gotten SO many responses along the lines of "Yep. Couldn't stand the toxic/abusive male dentist anymore. Ran away."

The motivation to open an FDS-minded all-female dental practice has never been stronger.

donttextme_k · 2021-05-05T04:35:19+00:00

There’s a recent post about last names, whether woman should take their last name and woman wants their children to take their last name.

I’d rather just go the traditional route and have my children take my husband last name, never really thought about them taking my last name until that post. Feels a little weird to me. Does that make me a pick me or whatever name it could be 🤔 honestly feel like someone is going to come up with a nickname for it

throwawaychick8357 · 2021-05-10T07:06:06+00:00

A guy asked me out on a disc golf first date. He said he never played disc golf before and that he sucks at throwing a frisbee. Is this low effort or...?

Title	Weekly FDS Check-In
Author	Unlikely-Marzipan
Upvotes	39
Comments	201
Date	May 3, 2021 7:23 AM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/n3qb7y/weekly_fds_checkin/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/weekly-fds-check-in.759420 https://theredarchive.com/post/759420

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